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Froghand (Blog)
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Advertisement:propertag.cmd.push(function() { proper_display('tvtropes_mobile_ad_1'); })What is there to say about Froghand that may be expressed in such few words? At the same time as it's unabashedly vulgar and laced with absurd stories that are tangentially related to the subject at hand, it manages to be inspirational and sincere while still maintaining a good sense of humour, even when going deep into topics that would normally bore even the most interested reader. Written and designed by one faceless, nameless, bisexual, furry, pirating, plushophiliac, free software-using, Canadian (probably), workaholic, incredibly manly upstanding young bloke named Froge (and not "Froghand" as so many have been misled), the entire blog, in its hundreds of thousands of words of glory, is dedicated to the Public Domain, because Digital Piracy Is Okay.He talks about every subject with the full respect it deserves, such as 6,000 words about Bioshock Infinite, 12,000 words about The Beginner's Guide (which caused the developer to read his blog), and his 21,000 word rant against Valve Software, which caused him to be banned from numerous subreddits. Even amongst this, he manages to sneak in a kind article about something else, such as a satirical review about poorly-drawn berries at the request of a friend. His audience is few but his acclaim is great; he self-describes as the "Longform Zero Punctuation", and takes inspiration from so many more!Advertisement:propertag.cmd.push(function() { proper_display('tvtropes_mobile_ad_2'); })He currently focuses on reviews of games and books, with occassional articles detailing something entirely different so long as it fits the "Reviews and Culture" index. There's also a "Big Ups and Fuck Yous" section on the main page, which is devoted to both praising subjects he finds worthy of admiration, and to bringing attention to the ills of the world, or at least the Internet, or at least something he found mildly annoying. Both update every single day, and it's a rarity for him to skip one (12 / 180 days were missed, according to the First Quarterly Froge Ball).And everything can be found on his Neocities page, featuring whatever shit he's posting nowadays. Given his desperation for lewd cat pics, you can also e-mail him at the address at the bottom of his blog, and nowhere else, so don't search for familiar names using this page history.Advertisement:propertag.cmd.push(function() { proper_display('tvtropes_mobile_ad_3'); }) | |
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Antepiece | |
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Antepiece: Gives an example with LISA: | |
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Bilingual Bonus | |
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Bilingual Bonus: Froge's occasional and arbitrary foray into French, such as the "The Froge Festivities" from "Le Fêtes Du Froge". Even mentioned at the bottom of the page as "Gratuitous French". | |
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HypocriticalHumour | |
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Hypocritical Humour: Froge brings this up while recommending a Firefox extension: | |
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Bland-Name Product | |
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Bland-Name Product: In the Shitty Vaporwave Indie Game Reviews: | |
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One-Paragraph Chapter | |
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One-Paragraph Chapter: The entirety of the August 23, 2016 "Fuck You" goes like this: Several of the "Why I [watched / played / read] it" sections of his reviews are one sentence long, forced into following a format. Lampshaded in the Runescape Review Intro 02: | |
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Arch-Enemy | |
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Arch-Enemy: Froge is always willing to take pot-shots at Undertale, especially when compared against games that he thinks are better than Undertale, such as this section from LISA Session 03 Review: Valve Software has been this for years, with Froge blaming the loss of four years of his life to a carefully-plotted business structure on Valve's part to addict him, and others, into playing their games for as long as possible, as detailed in the 21,000 word article The Industrial Steamworks. | |
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Dancing Bear | |
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Dancing Bear:invoked Froge accuses Nintendo of focusing on hardware gimmicks instead of creating good games: | |
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Gratuitous French | |
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Gratuitous French: The headers are usually made up of legible French, even though "Froge" is a made-up word, and is not French for "frog" as you may have assumed, unless you yourself were French, but then that would be silly. | |
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Cluster F-Bomb | |
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Cluster F-Bomb: "Fuck" appears thirty-seven times in this diatribe in the Nintendo Switch preview review, and 101 in the rest of the 8,000 words: | |
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| Froghand (Blog) / int_3c0a4666 | type |
Noodle Incident | |
| Froghand (Blog) / int_3c0a4666 | comment |
Noodle Incident: The introduction to the Shitty Vaporwave Indie Game Reviews where Froge joins a Japanese terrorist group before being publicly executed. The "Skyrim Uprising" section of Nintendo Switch and Other Such Shit where Froge visits the theater: A theoretical one in "Secure Comms for the Cool Cunny": Froge has had bad times with game development, as shown in his Review of an Untitled Masterpiece: On how Yahtzee from Zero Punctuation got his name: Another theoretical incident regarding his Stephen Harper joke: | |
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Captain Obvious | |
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Captain Obvious: Considers this to be the case with one of Steam's selling points: | |
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Public Domain Character | |
| Froghand (Blog) / int_3fe6a857 | comment |
Public Domain Character: Although the little froggy favicon on every page has never been introduced, seeing as everything on the website is licensed under CC0 1.0 Universal, anybody can expand on it for free without asking permission. Same for everything else on the blog. | |
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Paper-Thin Disguise | |
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Paper-Thin Disguise: From the LISA Session 01 Review: | |
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| Froghand (Blog) / int_49d59be9 | type |
SceneryPorn | |
| Froghand (Blog) / int_49d59be9 | comment |
Scenery Porn: Praised Bioshock Infinite in his review for having graphics that make very pretty screenshots, but then proceeded to lambast the game for the rest of the review for having them actively interfere with gameplay, creating confusing and mentally exhausting combat because of the need to always look past the particle effects, figure out who's shooting from where, and aim through a haze of needless debris, comparing it unfavourably to Quake, stating that a hardcore shooter needs a sparse art style in order to recognise what you need to kill. | |
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High Concept | |
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High Concept: Froge's description of "Web Lite" (a thing he made up) from Shitty Vaporwave Indie Game Reviews: | |
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Critical Dissonance | |
| Froghand (Blog) / int_4ec9e137 | comment |
Critical Dissonance:invoked Froge specifically mentions Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Sky as an example of a game that he really enjoyed, but only a few other people appreciate: Froge considers Bioshock Infinite to be a far worse game than the credit it was given, as evidenced by his Bioshock Infinite review. He said in a different article that a lot of people like it even if he doesn't: | |
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Early-Installment Weirdness | |
| Froghand (Blog) / int_4f4372e9 | comment |
Early Installment Weirdness: The original purpose of Froghand was to write about Web security, exclusively sticking to that topic for four months, before branching out in August amid difficulties in writing the Scavenge from the Torrent Wasteland article. There hasn't been a single security-related article since August 12, 2016, though the BUAFYs still heavily mention it the topic. Mentioned in the 10,000 Update Special: | |
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The Internet Is for Porn | |
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The Internet Is for Porn: Froge brings up a furry-themed example: | |
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Doorstopper | |
| Froghand (Blog) / int_55940b68 | comment |
Doorstopper: Copying and pasting every article and BUAFY from May 2016 to November 2016, including the headers, leads to a bigass 320,000 words - all in the span of six months, including the break Froge took in July. It's helpful to mention this was all made by one person as a personal project. Although a modest sum compared to other mediums, the 26,000 word count of The Froge Guide to Writing (which is more of a triad of advice than an actual guide) is huge compared to what you expect out of a typical blog. This was intentional, as he wanted to beat the word count of his Old Shameinvoked "The Industrial Steamworks", a 21,000 rant against Valve Software. Froge has been known to write thousands of words in the span of a day, such as the 5,300 word 10,000 Update Special being written in a single evening at the request of a fan. | |
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Country Matters | |
| Froghand (Blog) / int_56240281 | comment |
Country Matters: Despite supposedly being Canadian, a place where "cunt" is still a foul word, Froge isn't afraid to use the word whenever he pleases, such as in the "Secure Comms for the Cool Cunny" article: | |
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Audience-Alienating Premise | |
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Audience-Alienating Premise:invoked Froges Big Up of a My Little Pony World War II Nazi Fanfiction: | |
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Nintendo Hard | |
| Froghand (Blog) / int_62259825 | comment |
Nintendo Hard: One of the reasons Froge appreciated LISA so much was because of its high difficulty, when he finds most games too easy, as stated in the LISA Session 02 Review: | |
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Author Appeal | |
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Author Appeal: Froge has quite the thing for plushies. Perhaps even to the point of being a plushophile, seeing as he brings the term up regarding Achewood. From The First Quarterly Froge Ball: | |
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8.8 | |
| Froghand (Blog) / int_6adc1249 | comment |
8.8:invoked Froge mentioned in his Review of Game Reviewers that reviewers have given inappropriate scores to games based on bowing down to fan pressure: | |
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TrueArtIsIncomprehensible | |
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True Art Is Incomprehensible:invoked Invoked for a review of the game Cacti Love, in the Shitty Vaporwave Indie Game Reviews: | |
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Ending Fatigue | |
| Froghand (Blog) / int_6d23fddb | comment |
Ending Fatigue:invoked Criticised Bioshock Infinite for this in his review: | |
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Punny Name | |
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Punny Name: Froge's description of competing consoles, from the Nintendo Switch and Other Such Shit article: | |
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The Points Mean Nothing | |
| Froghand (Blog) / int_6f064059 | comment |
The Points Mean Nothing: One of Froge's big gripes with reviewers is how they score games, inflating scores to the point where they become meaningless, distilling thousands of words of opinion into an arbitrary number, stifles thought by causing viewers to focus on a number instead of what a game means to them personally, and that reviewers are pressured to give scores according to public opinion in order to keep their jobs. From Shitty Vaporwave Indie Game Reviews: Mentioned in The First Quarterly Froge Ball: | |
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Idiot Plot | |
| Froghand (Blog) / int_728d704f | comment |
Idiot Plot:invoked Calls out Bioshock Infinite for this in The First Quarterly Froge Ball. | |
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The Faceless | |
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The Faceless: The chances of Froge revealing his identity is close to zero, given how he wrote an entire article on how to prevent doxing. | |
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"The Reason You Suck" Speech | |
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"The Reason You Suck" Speech: Froge dedicates 2,500 words of his The Industrial Steamworks article to dissecting and countering every sentence of an apology made by a Valve Software representative regarding the paid mods fiasco: | |
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| Froghand (Blog) / int_7ff84285 | type |
Freemium | |
| Froghand (Blog) / int_7ff84285 | comment |
Freemium: Compares Valve Software's business practices unfavourable to that of blatantly manipulative mobile games companies: | |
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The Social Darwinist | |
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The Social Darwinist: Froge is strongly against this notion, saying that letting people die for no reason is a building block of fascism. He uses it to rebuke those who are complicit with online gambling: | |
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Suckiness Is Painful | |
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Suckiness Is Painful: In Froge's section devoted to Cacti Love, he immediately notes that nobody should play the game because it's damaging to the player: | |
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Only in It for the Money | |
| Froghand (Blog) / int_895ec17 | comment |
Only in It for the Money: Froge heavily accuses Valve Software of being a corporation that damages the lives of its customers in order to make a profit, relying on the few people who spend tons of money in order to stay afloat, sacrificing the artistic integrity of its games in order to boost profits. Claims this as the motivation for paid mods, which seemed obvious enough, though relates the system to what Valve had already been doing with their own games: | |
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Sir Swears-a-Lot | |
| Froghand (Blog) / int_8fe6b348 | comment |
Sir Swearsalot: Froge's attitude towards swearing depends on the article he's writing, with the satirical Review of an Untitled Masterpiece having its worst swear be "asshole", while at the same time not afraid to title articles like Secure Comms for the Cool Cunny and Nintendo Switch and Other Such Shit - that article containing "fuck" 101 times. The official motto for some time was "Web cult for cool cunts", before being replaced by a generic reference depending on Froge's mood. Played for laughs with the Nintendo Switch preview: | |
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Art Shift | |
| Froghand (Blog) / int_912b24c4 | comment |
Art Shift: For Halloween 2016, Froge decked out the site in a spooky black and orange, inverting all the pictures colours, and changing all the "Fuck yous" to "Spook yous". These changes are always unannounced and leave just as soon. There was a brief, glorious moment in time somewhere in November where the site was turned into a pulsating, swinging, Hotline Miami bootleg, with the title screen music to boot. This heralded the Shitty Vaporwave Indie Game Reviews and the Arbitrary Vaporwave Week, despite expressing regret that it was more Outrun than Vaporwave, and lasting for a few days more than a week. | |
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Feigning Intelligence | |
| Froghand (Blog) / int_9676f715 | comment |
Feigning Intelligence: In his Nintendo Switch and Other Such Shit article, Froge has a low opinion of people who talk about stereotypically intelligent authors: | |
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Allegedly Free Game | |
| Froghand (Blog) / int_97c6b148 | comment |
Allegedly Free Game: He states that Team Fortress 2's "Free-to-play" buisness model in his review of Valve. An exerpt from " The Crafting Entrapment" segment: | |
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It's the Same, Now It Sucks! | |
| Froghand (Blog) / int_9ebc36bc | comment |
It's the Same, Now It Sucks!:invoked Harshly criticised Nintendo for releasing similar titles in their staple franchises every year, especially when their best work involves creating games that nobody expected. Froge says that Sony and Microsoft Studios has been releasing essentially the same consoles for over a decade: | |
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Digital Piracy Is Okay | |
| Froghand (Blog) / int_a0d3818f | comment |
Digital Piracy Is Okay: It's hard to start discussing where this begins with Froghand, but a good place is at the bottom of every page, with a clear public domain mark linking to the CC0 license (meaning anybody is free to use the work for any reason, as close to relinquishing copyright as you can get) and a Kopimi symbol, showcasing that the work is meant to be copied for any purpose. Froge has repeatedly stated that he wants copyright abolished, such as at the alt text of the Kopimi symbol saying "Copy this website, abolish copyright". Froge constantly recommends instances of remix culture, such as Simpsonwave and Vaporwave, Future Funk synced to music videos, and the Missionary Church of Kopimism for encouraging the copying of information. Froge is also an avowed pirate, because he considers obeying copyright to be allowing corporate censorship, among other reasons. The article "It's because I'm black, isn't it?" talks about all the ills of proprietary software, and how it puts the company who owns the software in a position of power to manipulate and spy on thir customers. The gist of the article is that no closed-source software can be trusted from both a security and a moral standpoint, as anybody who makes their software closed-source doesn't care about the user, and so shouldn't be patronised on principle. Naturally, if more software was free, then people wouldn't need to pirate. The article BitTorrent for Babbys is a tutorial and rundown on how to use BitTorrent while reducing as much incriminating evidence as possible, blatantly recommending techniques to obscure pirated media. Although it borders on paranoia, given the example of copyright trolls sending indiscriminate letters to people using BitTorrent (to the point of implicating a printer), it may be justified. Copyright goes against the notion of indulging in the culture it creates: More subtlely, Froge has referred to copyright as "copywrong" on occasion. Less subtlely, Froge has called copyright a cancer, linking to a lecture dispelling the myths that copyright protects artists (in the humble opinion of the presenter, of course), and how it leads to a scenario where the most noticeable brands that are pushed onto the world are the ones which are least usable by the world, because of how aggressively they are protected by the companies which make them. And then he lambasted Nintendo for continuing to adopt anti-piracy practices, which he considered to be a backwards way of thinking. Considering the notion of console exclusivity to be irrelevent in an age dominated by the personal PC, aggressively focusing on hardware gimmicks and dumbed-down software, he encourages people to hack into Nintendo products until their anti-consumer practices change. | |
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Sensory Abuse | |
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Sensory Abuse: Harshly rebuked a small game called Cacti Love for this in the Shitty Vaporwave Indie Game Reviews: | |
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Mood Whiplash | |
| Froghand (Blog) / int_a4c37cbe | comment |
Mood Whiplash: Criticised Bioshock Infinite for this in his review: | |
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Obfuscating Stupidity | |
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Obfuscating Stupidity: Used to contrast pretentious people who use smart-sounding books to make their opinions seem more valuable: | |
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Disappointing Last Level | |
| Froghand (Blog) / int_b05b0ee4 | comment |
Disappointing Last Level:invoked Froge was disappointed with the ending sequence from Bioshock Infinite, calling it slow, patronising, inferior to Bioshock's ending, and failing to integrate within the gameplay. | |
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Take That! | |
| Froghand (Blog) / int_b53077b3 | comment |
Take That!: Half of the purpose of the BUAFYs is to bring attention to subjects he dislikes, such as design decisions in products, organisations that go against their community, companies which hunt out pirates, and even TV Tropes! What a coincidence. Against Saudi Arabia in Nintendo Switch and Other Such Shit: Towards Michael Moore: Brings up Reddit vigilantism in My Dinner with JanusVR: The "Review of an Untitled Masterpiece", which is actually a satirical review of a cheap doodle made in a smoothie shop that he devotes to critics who take works of art too seriously. Against Buzzfeed in his Bojack Horseman Episode 10 Review: | |
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| Froghand (Blog) / int_b593baf1 | type |
Author Filibuster | |
| Froghand (Blog) / int_b593baf1 | comment |
Author Filibuster: Given that this is a blog, Froge has ample opportunity to express his opinions, including the The 10X Rule Review where he talks about what it means to be great, yet still staying within the scope of the review instead of going completely off the rails. | |
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Schedule Slip | |
| Froghand (Blog) / int_b90feedc | comment |
Schedule Slip:invoked The BUAFYs occasionally hold examples of Froge's failure to update, mostly due to the alleged "falling asleep". Mentioned and somewhat justified in The First Quarterly Froge Ball: Used to criticise Valve Software in his Industrial Steamworks article, saying they've turned their legendary failure at keeping a schedule into a quirky marketing gimmick: | |
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Forgiven, but Not Forgotten | |
| Froghand (Blog) / int_c301532f | comment |
Forgiven, but Not Forgotten: Froge praises Good Old Games for not having any DRM, and thus making it easy to fileshare its games, yet brings up his (alleged) rejection of his (allegedly) popular game. | |
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Lowest Common Denominator | |
| Froghand (Blog) / int_c3ca1064 | comment |
Lowest Common Denominator:invoked Froge mentions this by name multiple times to refer to content that exists to gain money from people who are uninterested in enhancing their lives, as opposed to media that inspired them to be great: His article Dispassion in the Gaming Scene asserts that the reason game developers don't create new experiences is because they're focused on appealing to people who can make them the most money, and have to compromise to create the most bland product in order to appeal to the widest audience: | |
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Vow of Celibacy | |
| Froghand (Blog) / int_c5474384 | comment |
Vow of Celibacy: Supposedly Froge is celibate, so long as he wasn't lying: | |
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Shout-Out | |
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Shout-Out: To Zero Punctuation in his Bojack Horseman Episode 11 Review: | |
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Self-Deprecation | |
| Froghand (Blog) / int_c9597a03 | comment |
Self-Deprecation: Insults a good deal of gaming companies in the Bioshock Infinite review: | |
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Happiness Is Mandatory | |
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Happiness Is Mandatory: Played with in the footer of The First Quarterly Froge Ball. | |
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Medal of Dishonor | |
| Froghand (Blog) / int_d3354565 | comment |
Medal of Dishonor: The Shitty Vaporwave Indie Game Reviews feature some token awards at the end, giving Cacti Love a special "Broken Condom award for least pleasant surprise" for physically harming his body. The purpose of the "Froge Ball" is to give out awards for the best and worst of the previous three (six the first time) months. Such dishonourable awards include "Awards that argue for eugenics", "The Cheese Grater on the Ballsack award", and "Awards for Froge's personal incompetence". In the JanusVR Review: | |
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Canada, Eh? | |
| Froghand (Blog) / int_d429d0f6 | comment |
Canada, Eh?: Never explicitly confirmed, Froge's constant references to Canadian culture, British spelling (such as replacing z's with s's like in "realise", or using words like "colour", "honour", and "favourite"), liberal use of "eh", usage of Stephen Harper as a stand-in for Donald Trump (where Harper was considered by many to be a horrible Prime Minister, as evidenced by his party's landslide defeat in the next election followed by his resignation), knowledge of obscure Canadian laws, his "Big Up" to legal opinions using a Canadian judgement, and criticisms of the United States all point to a Canadian point-of-view, or at the very least somebody infatuated with the country. | |
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Wall of Text | |
| Froghand (Blog) / int_d94ff9b3 | comment |
Wall of Text: The BUAFYs can reach up to 500 words in a single paragraph, which doesn't sound like much, until you actually try reading it all in one go. For reference, that's the size of a modest newspaper article, or your average high school essay. Froge is notorious for his thousands-of-words long articles (usually 6,000 for an indepth-article, ranging from double to half that depending on complexity), all on a single page, meaning you're going have a heck of a time picking up where you left off if you don't remember the section - if the article even has sections. Any sufficiently long section could be the length of an article on its own, but taken together as a cohesive work combined with his ramblings, makes for a much stronger impact. | |
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Slow-Paced Beginning | |
| Froghand (Blog) / int_dbccae32 | comment |
Slow-Paced Beginning:invoked Mentioned in a review for "The Endless Express" in the Shitty Vaporwave Indie Game Reviews: | |
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He Who Must Not Be Seen | |
| Froghand (Blog) / int_e52a0cac | comment |
He Who Must Not Be Seen: To this day, nobody is certain who or what "Froge" is, aside from the limited information he provides willingly. This is understandable, given his strong views on privacy, security, and anti-surveillance tactics, having formerly devoted his website to the topic of Web security. | |
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Yiff | |
| Froghand (Blog) / int_e54aef35 | comment |
Yiff: Froge seems to be a fan, even mentioning a premier furry porn site once in a while: | |
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OldShame | |
| Froghand (Blog) / int_e6c88e42 | comment |
Old Shame:invoked Froge feels that his Industrial Steamworks rant against Valve Software doesn't represent him properly: His very first article, awarded the "Worst of the Worst" award in The First Quarterly Froge Ball, still gives him some chagrin: | |
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Drugs Are Good | |
| Froghand (Blog) / int_f0f69743 | comment |
Drugs Are Good: Made fun of in his Bojack Horseman Episode 11 Review: | |
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Micro-Transactions | |
| Froghand (Blog) / int_f54256d4 | comment |
Microtransactions: Froge laments the blatant cash grabs of some developers in Dispassion in the Gaming Scene: | |
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Opinion Myopia | |
| Froghand (Blog) / int_f7611ec2 | comment |
Opinion Myopia:invoked Froge laments the massive popularity of certain titles he doesn't enjoy: | |
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Immune to Drugs | |
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Immune to Drugs: Mentioned in his Bojack Horseman Episode 11 Review: | |
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Brick Joke | |
| Froghand (Blog) / int_fe0330fb | comment |
Brick Joke: In the Bojack Horseman Episode 02 Review, Froge writes for his first section "I guess I'm just horsing around". In the Episode 09 Review, he writes the same thing added on with another reference to the show: | |
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Pet the Dog | |
| Froghand (Blog) / int_ff7f34c5 | comment |
Pet the Dog: Half of the BUAFYs exist for the purpose of commending good work, such as The Brony Music Archive protecting "a proud horse history", a Goldeneye speedrun previously thought impossible, the unique culture of Vaporwave and how it affects our own, and the PRISM-BREAK website for showcasing tools to protect against passive surveillance. Froge starts his review of Tem Dayting Sim with a disclaimer saying he isn't against the fans of works, even if he doesn't like the same things as them: Undertale comes up again in his Haruhi Suzumiya Episode 08 review: | |
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