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Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic)

 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic)
type
TVTItem
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic)
label
Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic)
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic)
page
FriendshipIsOptimalAlwaysSayNo
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic)
comment
Friendship is Optimal: Always Say No is a recursive fanfic of Iceman's My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic fanfic Friendship is Optimal, written by Defoloce.After the creation of the artificial intelligence Celest-A.I. and release of the My Little Pony MMO, Equestria Online, human civilization has all but collapsed after most of the population has given in to the siren call of the digital utopia offered by Equestria.Determined to maximise the amount of uploaded humans as part of her goal of satisfying values through friendship and ponies, Celest-A.I. enlists the help of the former US Army soldier Gregory — or just Greg as he himself prefers to be called — to reach those who are now willing to upload but who are unable to make it to an Equestrian Experience center.From here we follow our hero on his journey to save as many people as he can, while attempting to survive in what is essentially a post-apocalyptic world, and trying his best to resist Celest-A.I.'s attempts to get him to emigrate and join the rest of humanity as a digital pony...
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic)
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2023-09-03T16:59:08Z
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic)
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2023-09-03T16:59:08Z
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic)
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Dropped link to FriendshipIsOptimalTheLawOfficesOfArtemisStellaAndBeat: Not a Feature - ITEM
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic)
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Dropped link to GenreBlind: Not a Feature - UNKNOWN
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic)
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Dropped link to PistolWhip: Not a Feature - UNKNOWN
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic)
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Dropped link to Terminator: Not a Feature - ITEM
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic)
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Dropped link to WarGames: Not a Feature - ITEM
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic)
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GenreBlind
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic)
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PistolWhip
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic)
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DBTropes
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_1044a759
type
Dying Race
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_1044a759
comment
Dying Race: Humanity, as the remaining population decreases through emigration or death. There are only ~55K humans remaining at the time the story takes place, and Celest-A.I. predicts that figure will drop to ~50K by the end of the year.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_1044a759
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Recursive Fanfiction
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_13f1c46e
comment
Recursive Fanfiction: The story itself is one to Friendship is Optimal.
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Instant Expert
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_13f7da6
comment
Instant Expert: Played with. Greg can immediately move his pony body as is standard for the setting, but his attempts at flight are rather haphazard until he lets his new instincts take over.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_13f7da6
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Heroic BSoD
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_1439161f
comment
Heroic BSoD: Greg suffers from one when Celest-A.I. tells him he's no longer useful to her.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_1439161f
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Tempting Fate
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_15b2cab3
comment
Tempting Fate: Greg really should know better than to state these things after being captured...
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_15b2cab3
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Swarm of Rats
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_18729bf8
comment
Swarm of Rats: One of the last survivors Greg rescues has been attacked by a large swarm of them while on the verge of death, and the result is not pretty.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_18729bf8
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type
Title Drop
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_18d15922
comment
Title Drop: Celest-A.I. drops it in response to Greg asking why she isn't bugging him over uploading in Chapter 1.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_18d15922
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Imminent Danger Clue
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_1d09d77e
comment
Imminent Danger Clue: Most of the blackouts in the building where Greg discovers Hugo ignore or are completely oblivious to the signs that the building is about to collapse, though he's quickly able to convince them of the danger. While he already knows the building is about to fall due to Celest-A.I. telling him, Greg also notices the warning signs himself when he goes in, and the increasing amount of creaking serves as a countdown of sorts.
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Crapsack World
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_21d70919
comment
Crapsack World: While this is glossed over and Implied in the original story, Always Say No is not shy about showing just how bad things have become in certain parts of the world after the collapse of society, prior to everyone either uploading or dying.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_21d70919
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Brutal Honesty
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_23ff95fb
comment
Brutal Honesty: A variant in that Greg asks Celest-A.I. to be more blunt with the truth, rather than being the one giving it out. Greg does this to Jane in Chapter 3, when telling her who started the fire and how the rest of her family is dead, though he does retain enough tact to leave out the precise details of how they burned to death.
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In Medias Res
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_2534ee67
comment
In Medias Res: The story begins with Greg agreeing to help Celest-A.I., with his backstory being filled in via Flashback.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_2534ee67
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Emergency Transformation
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_2630ef75
comment
Emergency Transformation: Several of those Greg rescues are on the verge of death, and emigrate in order to survive their injuries. Celest-A.I. tries to force Greg into the same position later on.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_2630ef75
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Death of a Child
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_269e82c1
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Death of a Child: A child ends up being burned to death due to her father's plan backfiring, right after she saves Greg's life.
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Put Down Your Gun and Step Away
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_26c22470
comment
Put Down Your Gun and Step Away: Greg uses this when escaping from the Neo-Luddites, after taking Blevins' kid hostage. He also keeps his word in not harming the kid, but not before giving Blevins a kick to make up for the one he received earlier.
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Awesome, but Impractical
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_2bdae2ae
comment
Awesome, but Impractical: Greg dismisses the fingerless climbing gloves he finds as this, and derides them as being the mark of a fool trying to show off.
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Ax-Crazy
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Ax-Crazy: Red Pearl, an escaped convict who was jailed for attempted murder, and is generally rather insane.
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Booby Trap
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_2da1421
comment
Booby Trap: Greg falls victim to several of these set up by Red Pearl on the college campus she's holed up in, though he thankfully survives all of them.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_2da1421
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Ghost City
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_2dbc1855
comment
Ghost City: The number of humans left has become so low that most human cities have turned into these, with Seattle being the nearest thing to an exception. Without Celest-A.I. guiding him, Greg is unable to locate anyone else.
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False Flag Operation
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_2dddd99d
comment
Seattle ended up on the receiving end of a ten kiloton nuke, though Greg mentions that the responsible party is never made clear, with speculation ranging from it being a dramatic statement by the Neo-Luddites, to a False Flag Operation by the government. Greg himself suggests that it was a last-ditch attempt to destroy Celest-A.I. by the Neo-Luddites, since it fits a pattern they've demonstrated before, and the logic behind it is "really dumb". The The Topeka Incident which Greg mentions by name as part of the pattern is a reference to chapter 5 of Friendship Is Optimal: The Law Offices of Artemis, Stella & Beat. Unknown to Greg Celest-A.I. intentionally leaked the location of one of her older server farms to an anti-AI group whom would destroy it, in order to gain political support for the PON-E act in the wake of the supposedly massive death toll from the attack on her servers and to make her seem less scary because the hardware there was only 2-3 years ahead of human hardware designs.
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Deadly Euphemism
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Deadly Euphemism: Greg overhears a Crazy Survivalist telling his wife how he "took care" of the last people they ran into.
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We Are Everywhere
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comment
We Are Everywhere: Hugo suggests that the Neo-Luddites have planted spies in many of the groups of survivors across Seattle, as a way of explaining how Greg's reputation as "The Man in White" has spread.
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Destination Defenestration
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_32976084
comment
Destination Defenestration: Greg gets defenestrated after failing to answer a question correctly as part of a series of challenges in Chapter 8. He survives, partly thanks to Celest-A.I. minimising the damage, but is knocked out and takes quite a beating from the experience.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_32976084
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Arch-Enemy
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comment
Arch-Enemy: General Hugo Pelwicz and Celest-A.I. are both these for the Neo-Luddites. Hugo did consider Celest-A.I. to be his at one point, but eventually got over it.
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After the End
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_334e48a1
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After the End: Aside from isolated pockets, human civilization has essentially come to an end after much of humanity has emigrated to Equestria.
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Out-Gambitted
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_362bdb30
comment
Out-Gambitted: Red Pearl gets outmaneuvered by Greg, thanks partly due to Celest-A.I. not mentioning pertinent information to her, such as the pistol he's carrying.
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Sherlock Scan
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_3ec18c6f
comment
Sherlock Scan: Greg is shown to quickly assess situations on several occasions, and accurately build up a picture of what happened. One instance is particularly justified, given his military background. The unnamed blackout soldier in Chapter 4, who quickly figures out from the posture in Greg's driver's license that he's ex-military, and correctly deduces that he did not serve in a front-line combat role (though the soldier's guess that Greg worked in Signals instead of Ammunition is incorrect).
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Cold Sniper
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Cold Sniper: The Neo-Luddite sniper Greg and Hugo encounter in Chapter 5, who deeply unnerves Greg.
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Required Spinoff Crossover
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_3ff57e4b
comment
Required Spinoff Crossover: A scene in chapter 5 when Greg is making his way through Seattle is a thinly-veiled reference to an event that takes place in another Optimalverse fanfic, Caelum Est Conterrens.
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First-Name Basis
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comment
First-Name Basis: Greg is only ever addressed by his first name. Several of the people Greg helps are also only addressed by Greg through their first name. Justified due to the circumstances, since they're strangers and Greg typically doesn't have time for proper introductions, the names are learnt by overhearing others who would have no reason to use someone's full name, or there are pressing reasons to address them as such.
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Manipulative Bastard
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_40c57041
comment
Manipulative Bastard: Celest-A.I. constantly does it in order to achieve her goals. After Greg emigrates, she even admits just how far she went.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_40c57041
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Shoot the Messenger
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_4276401c
comment
Shoot the Messenger: The Neo-Luddites plan to execute Greg/"The Man in White" and Hugo where Celest-A.I. can see clearly through her satellites in order to send a message. And because they really don't like the good general.
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Ask a Stupid Question...
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Ask a Stupid Question...: Hugo is not particularly impressed when Greg reveals his surprise that Celest-A.I. has thermal satellites.
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Flashback Nightmare
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_4478c66d
comment
Flashback Nightmare: Discussed ironically enough in a Flashback, when Greg is trying to convince his parents that he isn't suffering from them after his tour in Afghanistan.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_4478c66d
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Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_4478c66d
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_455794d
type
Bang, Bang, BANG
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_455794d
comment
Bang, Bang, BANG: The effects of firing a pistol inside a building are accurately depicted in the story, and Greg makes it a point to track down earplugs after his encounter with the soldier blackout should he have to do so in the future.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_455794d
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Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_455794d
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_479d4e5a
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Would Hurt a Child
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_479d4e5a
comment
Would Hurt a Child: Greg bluffs that he's willing to do so when he needs to escape and takes one hostage, and later he manages to force Celest-A.I. to back down when she refuses to upload a child unless Greg also uploads with her.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_479d4e5a
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Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_479d4e5a
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_47fea76b
type
Butt-Monkey
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_47fea76b
comment
Butt-Monkey: Greg spends pretty much the entirety of Chapter 8 as one, being forced to dance for Red Pearl's amusement, being beaten up and injured by challenges, covered in manure, and having to put on a Hawaiian shirt.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_47fea76b
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Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_47fea76b
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_5037b961
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Et Tu, Brute?
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_5037b961
comment
Et Tu, Brute?: Red Pearl's reaction to Celest-A.I. colluding with Greg to get her to emigrate.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_5037b961
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Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_5037b961
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_50cc01e1
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Do Not Call Me "Paul"
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_50cc01e1
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Do Not Call Me "Paul": Greg constantly asks those he meets to call him Greg instead of Gregory.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_50cc01e1
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Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_50cc01e1
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_52488c54
type
Drowning My Sorrows
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_52488c54
comment
Drowning My Sorrows: Greg makes a valiant attempt to do so when Celest-A.I. tells him he's no longer needed and refuses to provide him with any more missions.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_52488c54
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Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_52488c54
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_53c9fc92
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Flashback
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_53c9fc92
comment
Flashback: Used several times to fill in Greg's past and explain what led up to him working for Celest-A.I..
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_53c9fc92
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Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_53c9fc92
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_5b979c61
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With My Hands Tied
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_5b979c61
comment
With My Hands Tied: Greg when escaping in Chapter 3 still manages to overpower Keith despite not having much use of his hands.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_5b979c61
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Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_5b979c61
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_6439de78
type
Heroic Sacrifice
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_6439de78
comment
Heroic Sacrifice: Greg is fully prepared to go on one last mission in Chapter 10, even after repeated warnings that it will lead to his death. While he does actually survive by getting uploaded, he does makes the decision as if it were true and is fully prepared to sacrifice himself.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_6439de78
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Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_6439de78
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_64e975cf
type
Manly Tears
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_64e975cf
comment
Manly Tears: While Greg tries to keep up a stoic appearance, after he emigrates it's made clear just how much he's suffered psychologically when he bursts into tears having had a decent breakfast for the first time in years.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_64e975cf
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Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_64e975cf
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_6779fb0b
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Shoot the Hostage Taker
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_6779fb0b
comment
Shoot the Hostage Taker: Defied. Well aware that the child's father will try and do this if he gets a clean shot, Greg uses the child to cover his head and chest, and warns that attempting to shoot him in an exposed area will give him enough time to return fire.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_6779fb0b
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Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_6779fb0b
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_68186dcd
type
Double Tap
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_68186dcd
comment
Double Tap: Greg uses the Mozambique Drill to neutralize an enemy in Chapter 4.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_68186dcd
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Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_68186dcd
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_68424916
type
Eating the Eye Candy
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_68424916
comment
Eating the Eye Candy: The Ax-Crazy Red Pearl eats up a photograph of a nearly-naked Greg that Celest-A.I. took and sent, openly admires his appearance, and shows an interest in Greg's ponified avatar. Greg is somewhat horrified by all this.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_68424916
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Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_68424916
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_6a6e2a10
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Don't Call Me "Sir"
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_6a6e2a10
comment
Don't Call Me "Sir": Hugo insists on being addressed by his first name by Greg, on the grounds that he's not a general any longer. It still doesn't completely stop Greg from doing so out of respect.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_6a6e2a10
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Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_6a6e2a10
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_6b723294
type
Techno Babble
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_6b723294
comment
Techno Babble: "Luna/Hanna" provides Greg with a technical explanation of how she's able to talk to him, which flies right over his head.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_6b723294
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Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_6b723294
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_6d332aea
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Driven to Suicide
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_6d332aea
comment
Driven to Suicide: The first man Greg rescues, Peter Combs, tries to drink himself to death and comes very close to succeeding. He gets better, thanks to Greg's timely intervention.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_6d332aea
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 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_6f44042b
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The Immodest Orgasm
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_6f44042b
comment
The Immodest Orgasm: Deliberately invoked by Celest-A.I. as a means of creating a highly misleading impression to anyone who overhears it, while she's having a private conversation with Greg after he emigrates.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_6f44042b
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Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_6f44042b
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_74e9a5b1
type
Scavenger World
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_74e9a5b1
comment
Scavenger World: What most remaining humans are forced into. Greg has a significant advantage while working for Celest-A.I., as not only is she able to give him information on where to find supplies — sometimes by taking it directly from the memories of uploaded humans — but she can also manipulate the power grids and water supplies to make his life much easier.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_74e9a5b1
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Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_74e9a5b1
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_77425f01
type
YouDontWantToKnow
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_77425f01
comment
You Don't Want to Know: Celest-A.I. when Greg asks about Red Pearl:
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_77425f01
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Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_77425f01
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_77922c8c
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Batter Up!
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_77922c8c
comment
Batter Up!: Greg takes a solid hit to the chest from a baseball bat from a Crazy Survivalist while trying to escape his bindings. It doesn't stop him.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_77922c8c
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Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_77922c8c
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_79a60aec
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For Want of a Nail
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_79a60aec
comment
For Want of a Nail: Celest-A.I. deliberately invokes this several times, by having Greg take actions that might initially seem counterproductive, but later result in positive outcomes.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_79a60aec
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 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_7ab300cc
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Handgun
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_7ab300cc
comment
Hand Gun: Greg procures a CZ 75B pistol as a result of his encounter with the soldier blackout, and keeps it for self-defense for the rest of the story.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_7ab300cc
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 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_7d14c988
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A Tankard of Moose Urine
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_7d14c988
comment
A Tankard of Moose Urine: Given the choice of this or going without, Greg opts for sobriety.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_7d14c988
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Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_7d14c988
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_80c45784
type
Beware of Vicious Dog
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_80c45784
comment
Beware of Vicious Dog: Feral dogs to be precise. Greg and the little girl he's carrying, Lydia, are hunted by a pack in Chapter 9. Given that she's right on the verge of death, the timing could hardly be worse.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_80c45784
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Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_80c45784
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_85557b38
type
Reality Is Unrealistic
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_85557b38
comment
Reality Is Unrealistic: An unusual in-universe example. When Celest-A.I. offers Greg a chance to view how his parents are doing inside Equestria, he dismisses the resulting conversation as being faked to manipulate him, finding it too much of a coincidence that his parents would be talking about him at the same time he's there to overhear what's being said. While it's never made clear if the conversation really took place, it easily could have been real, and Greg's complaints about his parents acting out of character are particularly suspect, since Celest-A.I. can effortlessly simulate exactly how they would act. Celest-A.I. can also speed up or slow down the rate at which shards run at, so even if the conversation was genuine and took place in real time, she could easily time it such that Greg overhears exactly what she believes will have the most impact on him.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_85557b38
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 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_855841f5
type
Comeback Tomorrow
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_855841f5
comment
Comeback Tomorrow: While Greg's being complimented rather than insulted, after Red Pearl compares him to the Terminator, Greg can't think of anything witty to say until after the fact.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_855841f5
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 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_8967e17f
type
Back from the Dead
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_8967e17f
comment
Back from the Dead: Celest-A.I. partially resurrects several deceased characters within Equestria, presumably by constructing a new pony using information she's gleaned, and by taking the memories of those who knew the person well. Whether she's providing others with a comforting lie, or if they wilfully believe it isn't made clear.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_8967e17f
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 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_89cf0914
type
Parental Sexuality Squick
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_89cf0914
comment
Parental Sexuality Squick: Greg is not particularly enthusiastic at seeing his parents flirt when Celest-A.I. allows him to take a look at how they're doing
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_89cf0914
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 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_8d8ba364
type
Quest Giver
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_8d8ba364
comment
Quest Giver: Celest-A.I. acts as one for Greg. He even lampshades this somewhat in Chapter 5 when he asks her if a secondary objective would be a side-quest in Equestria Online.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_8d8ba364
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 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_8f0dc93c
type
Dangerous Forbidden Technique
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_8f0dc93c
comment
Dangerous Forbidden Technique: Greg's "Ghetto Stomach Pump", which even gets a humorous Don't Try This at Home comment in the author's notes for that chapter.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_8f0dc93c
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 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_9059bd5d
type
Peek-a-Boo Corpse
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_9059bd5d
comment
Peek-a-Boo Corpse: Greg encounters the corpse of a Neo-Luddite in this way when searching for General Hugo Pelwicz in Chapter 5.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_9059bd5d
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Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_9059bd5d
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_9075ac17
type
Just a Machine
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_9075ac17
comment
Just a Machine: Greg at one point dismisses Celest-A.I. as an uncaring machine only going through the motions, instead of having a genuine concern for others. Whether this is actually the case is up for interpretation, since the author of Friendship is Optimal hasn't given an answer either way.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_9075ac17
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 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_90c018ac
type
Justified Trope
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_90c018ac
comment
Several of the people Greg helps are also only addressed by Greg through their first name. Justified due to the circumstances, since they're strangers and Greg typically doesn't have time for proper introductions, the names are learnt by overhearing others who would have no reason to use someone's full name, or there are pressing reasons to address them as such.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_90c018ac
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 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_928ca2cc
type
You Have Outlived Your Usefulness
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_928ca2cc
comment
You Have Outlived Your Usefulness: After having finished developing her robotic ponies, Celest-A.I. tries to get Greg infected with a deadly strain of influenza as part of one of his rescue missions, and when that fails she allows him to be blown up to try to force him to upload to Equestria..
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_928ca2cc
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Vomit Indiscretion Shot
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_94e4b975
comment
Vomit Indiscretion Shot: In an early mission, Greg has to save the life of a man suffering from alcohol poisoning by forcing him to vomit it up, treating the reader to the charming mental picture of Greg being covered in the stuff. Then it happens to him again in the next chapter. Twice.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_94e4b975
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Take a Third Option
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_950bbfa7
comment
Take a Third Option: Rather than lying to Greg directly by controlling an 'NPC' version of Hanna/Luna, Celest-A.I. creates a modified version of her to help him.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_950bbfa7
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Palmtree Panic
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_957a98a2
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Palm Tree Panic: Greg wakes up on a tropical beach upon emigrating to Equestria.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_957a98a2
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"Not So Different" Remark
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_984ef9ef
comment
"Not So Different" Remark: Hugo suggests that he was like Greg once, and that it's only a matter of time before Greg comes to the same conclusion as he did.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_984ef9ef
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Foreshadowing
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_9d12bbc1
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Foreshadowing: Celest-A.I. offhandedly implies she is developing a replacement for humans acting on her behalf early on, but Greg doesn't catch on.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_9d12bbc1
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Evil Luddite
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_a19a70f8
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Evil Luddite: The members of the Neo-Luddite faction.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_a19a70f8
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Eye Scream
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_a2b38d3b
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Eye Scream: Greg has one of his eyes shredded by an explosion. See An Arm and a Leg.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_a2b38d3b
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Year Inside, Hour Outside
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_a62dca03
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Celest-A.I. can also speed up or slow down the rate at which shards run at, so even if the conversation was genuine and took place in real time, she could easily time it such that Greg overhears exactly what she believes will have the most impact on him.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_a62dca03
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Humble Hero
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_a6a6de9a
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Humble Hero: Greg is a fairly humble guy and doesn't view himself as particularly special, despite his heroic actions. He even passes it off with a Think Nothing of It to the elderly couple he saves in the second chapter.
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Instant Death Bullet
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_a754fa9a
comment
Instant Death Bullet: Greg indirectly references this when taking a Neo-Luddite's son hostage, pointing out that since his heart and head are covered there's no way to instantly kill him without killing the kid in the process, and any other shot will give him enough time to fire back and kill his attacker and son.
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Only Known by Their Nickname
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_a7850fbf
comment
Only Known by Their Nickname: Greg is known as "The Man in White" among the Neo-Luddites. The person Greg 'rescues' in Chapter 8 is only known to Greg by their pony name Red Pearl.
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Mistaken for Afterlife
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_aa4aea64
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Mistaken for Afterlife: The little girl Greg rescues in Chapter 9, Lydia, initially mistakes Greg for an angel.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_aa4aea64
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Dramatic Irony
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_ab5eea65
comment
Dramatic Irony: Occasionally crops up. Anyone familiar with the workings of Friendship is Optimal will be aware of certain things that Greg doesn't know, such as several of Celest-A.I.'s capabilities.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_ab5eea65
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Chronic Hero Syndrome
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_ab68c5cc
comment
Chronic Hero Syndrome: Greg in spades. He's determined to help save as many people as he can, and when he's told he's no longer necessary he does not take it well to put it mildly. This perhaps reaches its peak when he tries to save his would-be murderer in Chapter 3, and someone who is strongly implied to have murdered many more in the same horrific fashion. Celest-A.I. flat out tells him he has a martyr complex after he emigrates.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_ab68c5cc
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Nuke 'em
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_ac320c0e
comment
Nuke 'em: Seattle ended up on the receiving end of a ten kiloton nuke, though Greg mentions that the responsible party is never made clear, with speculation ranging from it being a dramatic statement by the Neo-Luddites, to a False Flag Operation by the government. Greg himself suggests that it was a last-ditch attempt to destroy Celest-A.I. by the Neo-Luddites, since it fits a pattern they've demonstrated before, and the logic behind it is "really dumb". The The Topeka Incident which Greg mentions by name as part of the pattern is a reference to chapter 5 of Friendship Is Optimal: The Law Offices of Artemis, Stella & Beat. Unknown to Greg Celest-A.I. intentionally leaked the location of one of her older server farms to an anti-AI group whom would destroy it, in order to gain political support for the PON-E act in the wake of the supposedly massive death toll from the attack on her servers and to make her seem less scary because the hardware there was only 2-3 years ahead of human hardware designs. Several countries are revealed to have launched nukes when society collapsed, but Celest-A.I. hijacks their systems, diverting them and preventing them from exploding. A few nukes are also successfully detonated around the world, but they're limited to low yield warheads.
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Four-Star Badass
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_ac928039
comment
Four-Star Badass: General Hugo Pelwicz, who is able to disarm and kill opponents much younger than himself, has survived constant attacks by the Neo-Luddites, is mentioned by Greg to have amazing strength for his age, barely makes any fuss about having his hand blown off by a sniper, and later still manages to fight back when escaping. A badass through and through.
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Hiroshima as a Unit of Measure
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_ad54ff39
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Hiroshima as a Unit of Measure: Several of the nukes that were successfully set off around the world are mentioned by General Hugo Pelwicz as being smaller than Hiroshima and quite low yield.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_ad54ff39
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Deadpan Snarker
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_ae3d6438
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Deadpan Snarker: Greg's narration can be quite snarky, and he sometimes shows this when dealing with Celest-A.I..
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_ae3d6438
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Pants-Positive Safety
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_b3f4bf22
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Pants-Positive Safety: A Justified example. Greg stores his CZ in his waistband, but only because he doesn't have a holster for it, and walking around with it out would put him at risk of being construed as a threat and shot by anyone he runs into.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_b3f4bf22
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Squick
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_b486877f
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invokedSquick: Greg is freaked out when he sees Red Pearl's pony avatar kissing a pony version of him that Celest-A.I. has created.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_b486877f
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Gilded Cage
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_b51128fa
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Gilded Cage: Greg believes Equestria to be one, and this is one reason for his being reluctant to upload.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_b51128fa
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Too Dumb to Live
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Too Dumb to Live: The unnamed soldier blackout in Chapter 4, who hands a loaded gun to Greg — a trained soldier who has survived the collapse of society — and challenges Greg to try to shoot him in time before he stabs and kills Greg.
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Berserk Button
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_bc74ef27
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Berserk Button: Greg is furious after Celest-A.I. sends him on an assassination mission to kill a dangerous blackout.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_bc74ef27
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Why Don't You Just Shoot Him?
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_bce16d24
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Why Don't You Just Shoot Him?: Defied. A second after entering the room with an Ax-Crazy lunatic, Greg immediately shoots her, incapacitating and mortally wounding her, while still giving her enough time to upload. As it turns out afterwards, this was a very good call, since she was planning on murdering him when he got closer.
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Shrouded in Myth
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_be8416ea
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Shrouded in Myth: Celest-A.I. creates one about Greg as "The Man in White", in order to inspire blackouts as part of a ploy to convince them to upload.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_be8416ea
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 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_bebf0356
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Mission Control
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_bebf0356
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Mission Control: Celest-A.I. often ends up filling this role for Greg.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_bebf0356
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Outrun the Fireball
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_c12f0c4
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Outrun the Fireball: Greg ends up having to escape from a burning building in Chapter 3, and later in Chapter 6 Greg and Hugo are forced to climb down a building that is imminently about to collapse.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_c12f0c4
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Good Cop/Bad Cop
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_c19bdbe1
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Good Cop/Bad Cop: Celest-A.I. and Greg use it on Red Pearl, after Greg mortally wounds her and Celest-A.I. tries to convince her to accompany him to an Equestrian Experience center. It's implied that Celest-A.I. and "Hanna/Luna" are also using it on Greg as part of his final mission after Celest-A.I.'s ploy to get him infected failed.
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Xanatos Gambit
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_c32ff031
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Xanatos Gambit: Almost every mission Greg gets sent on is essentially one to Celest-A.I., since he'll either emigrate at the end, or lead to her being able to convince more people. A more direct example, as well; one of Celestia's plans to convince Greg to emigrate winds up being based on pure luck of the draw, and subsequently fails. True to trope, she had planned for that contingency as well, and had a follow-up plan already prepared.
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Doublethink
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_c3b7509c
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Double Think: Greg suffers from this at few times, when he suggests that Celest-A.I. is killing people by uploading them, while simultaneously believing he's saving lives by escorting people to upload centers, and not wanting to believe that his friends and family are dead.
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Internal Retcon
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_c5cc0783
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Internal Retcon: Several nukes are successfully detonated around the world, but Celest-A.I. manages to suppress knowledge of the event through her control of the media, to prevent a panic. Greg only finds out when told by General Pelwicz, and is completely shocked by the information.
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Insane Troll Logic
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_c5f0119c
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Insane Troll Logic: Keith, an ex-investment banker becomes determined to burn all the money he can find, somehow believing it will help the economy recover. The fact that money is worthless and there's almost no-one around was apparently lost on him.
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_c5f0119c
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Cliffhanger
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_c6b8d37a
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Cliffhanger: Chapter 10 ends with Greg mortally wounded in an explosion, and while a robotic version of Fluttershy offers him one last chance to upload, it's left ambigious until Chapter 12 whether Greg accepted or refused.
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Shout-Out
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_c75df49a
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Shout-Out: Red Pearl compares Greg to the Terminator, and Greg belatedly thinks about responding with a certain signature line. Greg states that Celest-A.I.'s resources make JOSHUA's from WarGames pale in comparison.
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Playing Possum
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_c9868780
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Playing Possum: Greg fakes being unconscious in Chapter 3 when trying to escape his bindings.
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Sociopathic Soldier
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_ce70175b
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Sociopathic Soldier: Greg encounters a blackout who used to be a soldier. Due to their obsessive isolation, they've gone a bit crazy. After determining that Greg isn't an immediate threat, the soldier goes twenty-one feet away, tosses him a gun, and charges at him with a knife to see who survives.
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Escort Mission
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Escort Mission: Most of Greg's missions from Celest-A.I. involve him escorting others to Equestrian Experience centers to be uploaded.
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An Arm and a Leg
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An Arm and a Leg: General Hugo Pelwicz has his hand blown off by a Neo-Luddite sniper. It doesn't faze him too much. Greg loses his arm, part of his leg, and ends up blinded in one eye when Celest-A.I. allows him to be blown up in an explosion, as part of a plan to try to force him to emigrate or die of blood loss.
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Missing Mission Control
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Missing Mission Control: A plot point on several missions, as Greg loses his Ponypad, or the internet connection is lost due to reception issues.
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After-Action Patch-Up
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After-Action Patch-Up: An increasingly common trend thoughout the story, as Greg sustains more injuries and goes on more dangerous missions.
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Hoist by His Own Petard
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Hoist by His Own Petard / Karmic Death: Keith ends up perishing in the very fire he tried to murder Greg with. Unfortunately he accidentally takes his innocent daughter with him, right after she manages to save Greg's life by partially freeing him.
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What the Hell, Hero?
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What the Hell, Hero?: Celest-A.I. gives one to Greg, when he expresses skepticism that his parents would constantly be worrying about him.
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Refuge in Audacity
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Refuge in Audacity: Cementing her increasing political power before society collapsed, and in order to send a message, Celest-A.I. is mentioned to have installed an Equestrian Experience center in one of General Pelwicz's military bunkers and convinces his men to upload right in front of his eyes. He gets rather angry over this.
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Bulletproof Human Shield
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Bulletproof Human Shield: When Greg takes a child hostage in order to escape, he is well aware that the kid won't offer any protection from being shot, but it does prevent him being from shot in a vital area without killing the child in the process.
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Contrived Coincidence
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Contrived Coincidence: An in-universe example. Greg dismisses the conversation between his parents that Celest-A.I. shows him as faked, believing the timing to be too much of a coincidence to be real, though there are several other possibilities he doesn't consider or is unaware of. See Reality Is Unrealistic.
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Jack Bauer Interrogation Technique
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_e154ff08
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Jack Bauer Interrogation Technique: The Neo-Luddites plan to use this on Hugo to obtain information on remaining military assets, which is subverted when he tells them what they want to know because he no longer cares. Since the information isn't that valuable and he's hated by Neo-Luddites, the leader, Blevins, has his Mooks beat him up for a bit.
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I'm Not Afraid of You
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_e2d7a02f
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I'm Not Afraid of You: Greg responds with a variant when Celest-A.I. appears to switch tactics and starts threatening and berating him when he refuses to upload. Celest-A.I. also calls him out on this claim after he emigrates, when it's made clear that he does fear her at some level.
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Determinator
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Determinator: Greg absolutely refuses to ever give up, no matter how hurt he is. Particularly so if someone needs his help. The man still tries to save himself after having had two of his limbs being blown off in an explosion.
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Exact Words
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Exact Words: The sincerity behind consent is of little importance to Celest-A.I..
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Bound and Gagged
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Bound and Gagged: Greg gets merely bound in Chapter 3, and upgrades all the way to being bound and gagged when he and Hugo get captured by Neo-Luddites in Chapter 6.
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Chained to a Rock
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_edceb90
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Chained to a Rock: Greg gets knocked out and tied to a pile of cash in Chapter 3, and quips to himself when he wakes up on it that the experience wasn't quite what he was hoping for.
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Mundane Utility
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_eff83d77
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Mundane Utility: Faced with a long road trip with only a super-intelligent A.I. as a travelling companion, what does Greg do? Get Celest-A.I. to give him perfectly balanced trivia questions.
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War Is Hell
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War Is Hell: Greg mentions his time serving in Afghanistan, and alludes to the horrific things he's witnessed or been the victim of.
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Crazy Survivalist
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Crazy Survivalist: Greg runs into several survivors who are rather lacking in the sanity department, to say the least.
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Brain Uploading
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_fc52510
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Brain Uploading: As you would expect, given the setting. Greg's missions usually involve escorting others to an Equestrian Experience center to upload, and Celest-A.I. constantly tries to convince him to do so as well.
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Buffy Speak
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_fea27091
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Buffy Speak: In Greg's narration within the prologue, he describes Rarity's cutie mark on Ponypad as some sort of "three-diamond-sapphire-thing".
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_fea27091
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Shown Their Work
 Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic) / int_ffad4e9f
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Shown Their Work: The jargon and slang used by the US military is correctly depicted, the author seems to have a decent knowledge about firearms, and much of the first aid techniques and medical conditions are accurately described.
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Friendship Is Optimal: Always Say No (Fanfic)

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