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The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)

 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
type
TVTItem
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
label
The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
page
TheParselmouthOfGryffindor
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
comment
The Parselmouth of Gryffindor is a Harry Potter fanfiction written by Achille Talon, a.k.a. Algie Crane.What would happen if Hermione Granger, the original series' Badass Bookworm, had been born with Parseltongue (the gift of innately knowing the Language of Snakes) and lived with it her entire life? The result is a Hermione who starts her studies of magic with a much more open mind when it comes to wizardly weirdness, a more… flexible attitude to breaking the rules, and a mission to make wizards understand that snakes are people too. And boggarts. And goblins. And house-elves. And portraits. And gargoyles. Be wary, reader, for you are in for a ride that features such highlights as dragon-riding spiders, Voldemort the Silver Monkey, and lots, lots and lots of ruthless Rules Lawyering.The story has a humorous tone comparable to Like a Red-Headed Stepchild, although a little bit on the saner side, and the same tendency to kick The Stations of the Canon in the backside and leave them out in the rain. The tone has once been described as "Douglas Adams does Harry Potter", and to this the author replied, “Guilty as charged.� That said, since the story was last updated in August, 2019, it must now be considered a Dead Fic.
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
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2024-02-08T15:30:46Z
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2024-02-08T15:30:46Z
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Villain: Exit, Stage Left
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_105f4bd9
comment
Villain: Exit, Stage Left: Lockhart flees the castle before his trickery has even been exposed, and (so far) disappears from the story.
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Sure, Let's Go with That
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_1086f287
comment
Sure, Let's Go with That: When the Goblin King mistakes Hermione for a member of a long existing species rather than an entirely new one, Hermione both agrees with him and starts making up facts about her species on the spot.
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type
Creator Cameo
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_127fc252
comment
Creator Cameo: The Man in the Top Hat in Chapter 72-B (the April Fools' Day chapter) is quite explicitly the author of the story.
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HilarityEnsues
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_149ff4b0
comment
Hilarity Ensues: Hermione curiously asks if the Quick Quotes Quill is sentient, leading to it revolting against Rita because it's the one that actually writes all her articles without getting any credit.
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Kirk Summation
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_1871c897
comment
Kirk Summation: Dumbledore delivers an unusual one to the Alizors in Chapter 76, which, behind the general rhetoric, is less about the fact that they are doing wrong (as while the extent to which the end justifies the means is debatable, the attackers have very valid reasons to be attacking) and more about the fact that their strategy is nonsensical and they'll get slaughtered if they try to fight it out there and then. It is, of course, answered with a curse in his direction from the leader.
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Title Drop
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_18d15922
comment
Title Drop: Only in Chapter 45 is Hermione finally referred to as the "Parselmouth of Gryffindor", as part of her Resurrection Ritual.
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Trampled Underfoot
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_191babbc
comment
Trampled Underfoot: Alastair the Acromantula was stomped on by Vernon Dursley when he was just a baby (and thus the size of a regular spider). He's had a painful, broken shell ever since.
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Torment by Annoyance
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_19aa50f3
comment
Torment by Annoyance: Trying to get inside the Headmaster's Office, Hermione resorts to poking the Golden Griffin with her wand repeatedly until it abandons its stoic demeanor.
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 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_19df659c
type
Gone Horribly Wrong
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_19df659c
comment
Gone Horribly Wrong: To make sure whether Hufflepuff's Cup contains a part of Voldemort's soul, she makes it "wear" the Sorting Hat to see if he detects a mind in there. He does — but the soul-shard proceeds to possess the poor Hat.
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Creating Life Is Unforeseen
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_1ae4bc74
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Creating Life Is Unforeseen: Walking catastrophe of a wizard Professor Lockhart tried to "de-spell" a perfectly ordinary statue, believing it to be a disguised monster. Somehow, his backfiring spell ended up actually giving life to the statue instead.
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I Need a Freaking Drink
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_1f250372
comment
I Need a Freaking Drink: When Hermione begins to explain to Snape the (carefully edited) events behind Quirrell's attempted robbery of the Philosopher's Stone, he grabs a nettle wine bottle from his potion riddle.
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Androcles' Lion
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_1f518822
comment
Androcles' Lion: Hermione promises to heal Apophis after learning it needs Voldemort's diary to survive. When Draco tries to have Apophis kill her, it instead winds around Draco's body and threatens him.
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 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_1fb440a6
type
Voluntary Shapeshifting
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_1fb440a6
comment
Voluntary Shapeshifting: Once he's gained sapience, the Boggart begins exercising to allow himself to take any shape he wishes instead of automatically transforming into a passerby's worst fear.
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Chekhov's Gag
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_22cf50f9
comment
Chekhov's Gag: The chimpanzee statue that Gilderoy Lockhart accidentally brought to life is initially a recurring background gag… until it becomes Locket Voldemort's new body in Fourth Year.
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type
Curse Escape Clause
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_275773bd
comment
Curse Escape Clause: The basilisk is bound to obey the commands of the Heir of Slytherin. The Sorting Hat, containing a copy of the mind of Slytherin, figures out that the escape clause is to give her clothes — it's literally just the house-elf bond, somehow repurposed.
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 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_27fdc960
type
Trap Door
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_27fdc960
comment
Trap Door: Gringotts Bank has one that leads down a chute directly from the Gringotts hall to a special meeting room with the Goblin King. It is sprung on an unsuspecting Hermione in Chapter 71.
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 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_2823fd4d
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Oddly Common Rarity
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_2823fd4d
comment
Oddly Common Rarity: For all that Harry and Hermione being parselmouths is supposed to be remarkably rare, plenty of people have been taught the language at some point, including Ron, Dumbledore, and Moody. Though Madame Pince doesn't know the parseltongue specifically, but knows how to demand silence in any language.
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type
Dragon Ascendant
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_286eaf85
comment
Dragon Ascendant: Voldemort is permanently incapacitated in First Year with no casualties… but by the Third Year, Barty Crouch Junior has taken up the mantle of fear, and what he lacks in raw magical power he makes up for in stealth, intelligence, and unpredictability.
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Succession Crisis
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_2d768e2d
comment
Succession Crisis: The story sees such a situation within the confines of the Ministry of Magic after Fudge disappears. Senior Undersecretary Slughorn and Hermione run through every possible candidate for an acting minister, and can only come up with Percy Weasley.
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 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_2f05cb60
type
Sapient Pet
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_2f05cb60
comment
Sapient Pet: Owls are essentially this of the first category, not so much out of choice as because wizards can't (or don't want to) see how intelligent they are. Meanwhile, Peter Pettigrew claims to be a magical rat and Ron's "secret pet", thus of the second sort. And snakes in general are more or less of the second sort as well, since Parselmouths know them to be sapient but most other people don't.
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Full-Name Basis
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_30d1e0df
comment
Full-Name Basis: Both Elvish and Parseltongue usually refer to people by their full name (even when talking to them)
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 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_323fd510
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Everyone Is a Suspect
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_323fd510
comment
Everyone Is a Suspect: After Pettigrew's guilt is revealed, it comes to light that Moody suspected everyone of being the traitor in the Order of the Phoenix. Even himself.
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 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_32e05e5e
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The Prankster
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_32e05e5e
comment
The Prankster: The Weasley Twins, naturally... but in first-year, Ron spends great effort giving as good as he gets with Peter Pettigrew's help. And of course, once Sirius returns, he takes the throne back from the Twins in driving Snape up the wall with miscellaneous crazy pranks.
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type
Disapproving Look
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_331e80a0
comment
Disapproving Look: Dumbledore gives Ringdemort one of these after he once again demonstrates his inability to keep his emotions under control and pulls the rug from under his own feet by revealing the secret of the Horcruxes in his rant.
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Birdcaged
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_347f24ca
comment
Birdcaged: Grindelwald is brought to Hogwarts in a large brass birdcage on wheels.
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type
Weird Trade Union
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_35b429f3
comment
Weird Trade Union: Subverted; Douglas Wilkes mentions a union for evil minions, prompting a You Have GOT to Be Kidding Me! from the person he's speaking to, but he's just joking.
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Ascended Meme
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_36ed3e1e
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Ascended Meme: Dumbledore says something calmly and yells it all that the same time.
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Sealed Evil in a Teddy Bear
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_3977aeb5
comment
Sealed Evil in a Teddy Bear: The part of Voldemort's soul originally in Slytherin's Locket ends up transferred into an animated statue of… a chimp. He is not amused.
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 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_3a1c2171
type
The Man Behind the Man
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_3a1c2171
comment
In Chapter 27, Hermione expresses her disappointment at the fact that there is so much she can think about but cannot do. Dumbledore replies by pointing out that she has powerful and loyal friends (Harry, Sirius, Max, the Basilisk, Dumbledore), has found the cure to Lycanthropy (which has vexed wizardkind for centuries), saved Sirius from being Kissed by a Dementor and is pretty much the most powerful person in Magical Britain (as she has become the girl behind Cornelius Fudge).
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type
Foregone Conclusion
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_3bc88a7f
comment
Foregone Conclusion: Even though the fic skewers The Stations of the Canon basically from the word go, it stays faithful to events that happened prior to the gang's time at Hogwarts. As a result, details such as the locations and containers of the Horcruxes or Dumbledore's possession of the Elder Wand remain consistent. Of course, the characters still have to learn all of this information for themselves, setting up several Internal Reveals and a ton of Dramatic Irony.
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The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_3bc88a7f
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type
Noodle Incident
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_3c0a4666
comment
Apparently, Dracula was one of Hogwarts's many evil Defence Professors a few years before the story begins. He went by Professor Vladimir Alucard, and chalked his sunlight-intolerance to a vague skin condition.
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The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_3c0a4666
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_3c51db1c
type
Zany Scheme
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_3c51db1c
comment
Zany Scheme: One of the trademarks of Slytherins; for instance, Pike goes to ridiculous lengths to pretend to be a Dementor so he can steal something from the Gryffindor dorms. Also, Hermione's plot to loophole out the Prophecy, which involves indelible writing on the walls of Hogwarts, a hamster, and an ant.
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The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_3c51db1c
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_3e417694
type
AlienGeometry
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_3e417694
comment
Alien Geometry: Not only is Hogwarts still an unmappable, Bigger on the Inside architect's worst nightmare of a castle, but the Forbidden Forest is like that too, making it into a full Enchanted Forest. For instance, have to hop through certain clearings on one foot and then pass the same bush twice if you actually want to progress forward.
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type
Blatant Lies
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_40bb59d0
comment
Blatant Lies: Disguised as Jester White with a Paper-Thin Disguise, Sirius Black denies having even ever heard of such a person as Sirius Black. To Snape. Who just saw him put on the disguise.
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 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_4127eb1
type
Shut Up, Hannibal!
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_4127eb1
comment
Shut Up, Hannibal!: The Cup Horcrux, possessing the Sorting Hat, launches into what is basically Voldemort's third-favorite thing in the Parselverse (after being a Dark Lord, and flying), namely, Evil Gloating — with a healthy dose of insults aimed at her, Hogwarts, the Sorting Hat and Dumbledore. She utterly refuses to listen and declares him a nuisance.
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The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_4127eb1
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_45bdaa0e
type
Just Ignore It
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_45bdaa0e
comment
Just Ignore It: This approach actually neatly solves some of the problems that stumped the characters in canon. Thoroughly ignoring Draco's taunts over and over throughout first year gets them mostly rid of him by Second Year, and Hermione and Ron aren't involved at all in First Year's Troll shenanigans, which end up being easily solved by Peeves.
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 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_4797a4ce
type
Tricked Out Time
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_4797a4ce
comment
Tricked Out Time: How Time-Turners work. Contradicting the past would lead to a Time Crash, so a time-traveler should do their best not to contradict the past up to their knowledge, and magically-induced good luck will do the rest.
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 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_47d35854
type
Intergenerational Friendship
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_47d35854
comment
Intergenerational Friendship: Ron and Peter Pettigrew; later Hermione and Sirius Black, and arguably Hermione and Dumbledore.
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 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_48078a7
type
Cool Versus Awesome
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_48078a7
comment
Cool Versus Awesome: A Basilisk versus a dragon-riding giant spider. No, we're not making this up.
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The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_48078a7
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_48b9731f
type
Paper-Thin Disguise
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_48b9731f
comment
Paper-Thin Disguise: Early on Luna thinks that wearing a pillowcase (and nothing else) and speaking in broken English is all it takes for House-Elves to confuse her for one of their own. A mortified Hermione quickly talks her out of it. Sirius Black, Faking the Dead, disguises himself as "Mr Jester White, from Canada". His disguise consists of a pair of glasses and a false beard. Everyone but Snape either falls for it, or pretends to. Apparently, Dracula was one of Hogwarts's many evil Defence Professors a few years before the story begins. He went by Professor Vladimir Alucard, and chalked his sunlight-intolerance to a vague skin condition.
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The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_48b9731f
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_4a879f41
type
Did We Just Have Tea with Cthulhu?
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_4a879f41
comment
Did We Just Have Tea with Cthulhu?: Hermione, Harry and Ron become friends with the Basilisk, since she's actually Not Evil, Just Misunderstood.
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 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_4a9c731e
type
When Trees Attack
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_4a9c731e
comment
When Trees Attack: It is revealed that a tree monster was among the protections around the Gaunt Shack, but it's already down by the time the heroes get there.
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_4a9c731e
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The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_4a9c731e
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_4f4bbeff
type
Interspecies Friendship
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_4f4bbeff
comment
Interspecies Friendship: Hermione, being most of all a defender of the rights of nonhumans, has many nonhuman friends of her own. They include the Boggart Maximilian, several snakes (most notably the Basilisk, Apophis, Nettle and Tsh), and the magical portrait Minerva.
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 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_5171abed
type
Loads and Loads of Races
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_5171abed
comment
Loads and Loads of Races: Seems to be the case, to Hermione's growing dismay, between regular sapient species whom the Ministry of Magic overlooks (goblins, giants, dementors, serpents, etc.) to artificial beings (portraits, gargoyles, the Sorting Hat) to the more confusing creatures that can become sapient, but aren't always, like owls and boggarts.
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 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_5755659
type
Super Smoke
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_5755659
comment
Super Smoke: Maximilian, being a Boggart, can do this; indeed, that is how Boggarts usually shapeshift — they turn into smoke and then reform into a new shape, and part of his training involved learning how to shapeshift without the intermediate. He can also use this ability to seemingly "vanish" by scattering the particles that make up the fog.
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_5755659
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 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_57b74bd4
type
Achievements in Ignorance
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_57b74bd4
comment
Achievements in Ignorance: Max the Boggart gains full sentience after he copies Professor Max. Because the man was present, Max the Boggart copied his mind fully to better scare his victim, which resulted in his sentience.
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 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_5b965319
type
Language of Magic
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_5b965319
comment
Language of Magic: Ancient Runes (the exact nature of which is ambiguous in the canon novels) are shown to be a variation of this - a hieroglyph-like writing system that was designed specifically to be very efficient at writing down magic. Apparently, the incantation, pronunciation, wand movement and effect of a spell can all be coded into a single Runic sentence.
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_5b965319
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 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_5ccae0c1
type
Dinner with the Boss
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_5ccae0c1
comment
Dinner with the Boss: A friendlier variation, where Minister Fudge invites Hermione to the Fudges' Christmas dinner.
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The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_5ccae0c1
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_5e2f5ad2
type
You Kill It, You Bought It
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_5e2f5ad2
comment
You Kill It, You Bought It: This is what happens if you kill a Judge of the Triwizard — and, for that matter, it's the only way to switch out Judges. Helen Monroe exploits this by killing the Durmstrang Headmaster and claiming the title for her Lord, Grindelwald.
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The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_5e2f5ad2
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_61459062
type
Perception Filter
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_61459062
comment
Perception Filter: Something like this was used by the Dementors to hide their ship. (It wasn't enough to fool Mad-Eye Moody, however.)
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_61459062
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The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_61459062
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_627264e0
type
Death Glare
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_627264e0
comment
Death Glare: Snape remains a master of this, but let's not forget Hermione and Grindelwald in Chapter 43:
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_627264e0
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 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_62fd5552
type
Bavarian Fire Drill
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_62fd5552
comment
Bavarian Fire Drill: Dumbledore's cool insistence that clearly he wasn't doing anything wrong by intruding on a crime scene, and he really should get going home or he'll miss tea time, convinces the distraught Durmstrang defenders to let him go. Downplayed in that Dumbledore really has a lot of authority and influence, allowing him to pull this off so successfully; it was just null and void in this particular situation.
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 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_64cde060
type
Christmas Elves
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_64cde060
comment
Christmas Elves: For Christmas in Second Year, Dumbledore has a contingent of Hogwarts House-Elves fulfill the roles of Christmas Elves while he dresses up as Santa Claus.
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_64cde060
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 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_6562d25c
type
Stingy Jack
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_6562d25c
comment
Stingy Jack: The Weasley Twins create an animated magical puppet resembling him for Halloween in Third Year.
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 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_6787588e
type
The Pardon
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_6787588e
comment
The Pardon: Umbridge tried to have the Sorting Hat arrested. Dumbledore forces a pardon out of Minister Fudge, who is not happy that Umbridge forced him to do something so ridiculous as issue an official pardon to a piece of headwear. Later, Hermione obtains one for Hagrid from Fudge and gives it to him on Christmas.
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_6787588e
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 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_69cce3dc
type
Explain, Explain... Oh, Crap!
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_69cce3dc
comment
Explain, Explain... Oh, Crap!: In the middle of reassuring Fudge that the escaped Death Eaters aren't a threat, including that the Dementor ship they escaped on wouldn't have any supplies because they don't care about food or cold, Hermione has the sudden realization that because the Dementors don't care about food or cold, knocking them into the ocean doesn't mean they aren't still alive and heading for the mainland. While trying to figure out just where the Dementors are going after Azkaban has been destroyed, Hermione figures out they're all headed to Hogwarts.
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The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_69cce3dc
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_6a47a1e2
type
Knight of Cerebus
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_6a47a1e2
comment
Knight of Cerebus: The Acromantula Army's attack is portrayed much more seriously than most other events in the story, and is the first time someone dies in the story, although only nameless Red Shirts.
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_6a47a1e2
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 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_754df088
type
Put on a Bus
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_754df088
comment
Put on a Bus: Only natural for Defence Professors, whose job description includes disappearing after a year, but Professor Max and Professor Lupin went off to Azkaban Island and America, respectively, and haven't been heard of since.
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_754df088
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 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_75979171
type
The Cuckoolander Was Right
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_75979171
comment
The Cuckoolander Was Right: The Quibbler's Conspiracy Theories concerning Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew aren't all wrong. They did guess correctly that Pettigrew was the real traitor who'd framed Sirius. That doesn't make the parts about rock-singers, a lovesick Dementor in disguise and a metamorphmagus any less ludicrous.
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_75979171
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 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_7aa989ea
type
Token Evil Teammate
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_7aa989ea
comment
Token Evil Teammate: Lucius Malfoy ends up working for Hermione Granger. That does not mean he has any sort of moral compass — he's just obeying because Voldemort is out of the picture and she has got enough on him to send him to Azkaban if he disobeys.
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_7aa989ea
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 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_7c48b272
type
Summon Bigger Fish
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_7c48b272
comment
Summon Bigger Fish: Barty Crouch Jr. gets Fiendfyre to destroy Azkaban and the Dementors.
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_7c48b272
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The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_7c48b272
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_7c6e6113
type
Original Character
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_7c6e6113
comment
Original Character: Several: Professor Alexander Max, the somewhat insane Ghoul Studies Professor. Minister Fudge's daughter Clementine, brother Clifford and sister-in-law Gwen. Several House-Elves, including the Hogwarts Elf Toddy and the Fudge family elf, Pompy.
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_7c6e6113
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type
Spy Speak
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_7dbfa45b
comment
Spy Speak: Ever since first year, Harry, Ron, and Hermione refer to any situation/conversation dealing with Voldemort as a Turban situation/conversation.
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Actually Pretty Funny
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comment
Actually Pretty Funny: When the Sorting Hat finds out how Hermione and Harry got past the Griffin statue to get into Dumbledore's office (Hermione kept poking it until it let them pass), he laughs so hard that he wakes all of the portraits in the office. Dumbledore breaks down laughing when, during their first lesson on Occlumency, Hermione figures out how to defend herself: closing her eyes. He also laughs good-naturedly when the Weasley twins send him a cuckoo clock that always claims it is the 38th of March.
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type
Open Secret
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_8077793f
comment
Open Secret: The average Hogwarts student might not know, but any wizard who's halfway smart has heard of Time-Turners. People still act like it's supposed to be a secret, more out of habit. Hermione is particularly non-discreet at that.
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Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking
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comment
Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: Hermione sums up her experience on the Horcrux-hunting mission in Little Hangleton: "we investigated a cursed forest, fought a zombie and had a wonderful time in a very picturesque inn".
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type
Entertainingly Wrong
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_81c4faa3
comment
Entertainingly Wrong: Hermione knows a fair bit of mythology and assumes Goblins are part of the Fey; thus she makes sure to be extra polite to them. Afterwards, her teller mutters about the "barmy witch thinking he's a hippogriff." Harry, Ron, and Hermione come to the conclusion that Quirrell's turban is both sentient and evil, not knowing the man is possessed by Voldemort.
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Naked on Revival
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comment
Naked on Revival: Realizing this would be the case with the Resurrection Ritual, Hermione has Dumbledore cast a preemptive Modesty Charm above the Cauldron before they go through with it.
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Duck Season, Rabbit Season
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comment
Duck Season, Rabbit Season: How Hermione tricks Snape into giving Gryffindor 20,000 points and taking 30,000 points from Slytherin.
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Prophecies Rhyme All the Time
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comment
Prophecies Rhyme All the Time: Harry Potter's Prophecy famously averts this trope, which Hermione finds surprisingly underwhelming. Leading to this bit of dialogue:
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Conlang
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_8a1bb4eb
comment
Conlang: Due to the story's focus on it, Parseltongue, while still usually rendered as italicized English, is sometimes shown "as it is" and rudiments of vocabulary and grammar are beginning to surface.
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Bilingual Dialogue
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_8a800d36
comment
Bilingual Dialogue: Exaggerated by Dumbledore as he messes with the people trying to arrest him in Durmstrang. Owing to the several nationalities represented among his accusers, he keeps saying every other sentence in a different language, from French to Polish, to the utter confusion of everyone else.
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Didn't Think This Through
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Didn't Think This Through: To confirm that Hufflepuff's Cup is a Horcrux, Hermione puts the Sorting Hat onto it. Afterwards the pseudo-possessed Hat calls her a mountain-sized idiot and yells at her to get Dumbledore immediately.
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type
Timey-Wimey Ball
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comment
Timey-Wimey Ball: Time-travel magic only exists thanks to a loophole in the rules of the universe, and so while theoretically it ought to allow you to change the past, in practice, magic does its best to manipulate probability so that the result is a Stable Time Loop. The farther back in time you go and the more efforts you make to change the past, the more unstable space-time becomes until you're either obliterated or kicked back to your home time period. As a result, it's advised to never travel back to any time you've already traveled back to, so as to keep new factors to a minimum.
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type
Wham Episode
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comment
Wham Episode: Chapter 41 ends with Hermione struck by the Withering Curse and told she has a week to live.
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 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_8e9cf84e
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"Blind Idiot" Translation: An in-universe example: many of the characters who originally spoke English and learned Parseltongue the slow way (or the other way around) struggle to render English phrases in Parseltongue and translate them literally, losing all meaning. For instance, Tsh trying to express "girlfriend" only comes up with an expression that literally means "female friend".
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type
Self-Defeating Prophecy
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_8f70bc54
comment
Self-Defeating Prophecy: According to Dumbledore, this is why Trelawney's predictions rarely seem true, because they were only accurate as long as Trelawney didn't alter fate by saying them. Hermione thinks that just sounds like a bad excuse. At any rate, that sets small-p predictions apart from true Prophecies, which, as in canon, are the opposite, only coming true if their targets act on their information.
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type
Karmic Death
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comment
Karmic Death: In an interesting twist, this story has a karmic near-death for Hermione. Being her usual confident Rules Lawyer self, she went after the Horcrux a bit too quickly, convinced that her ten-seconds rules-lawyering would be enough to bypass the protections. Turns out  It wasn't, and it's sheer luck that she comes Back from the Dead afterwards.
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The Bus Came Back
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comment
The Bus Came Back: In Chapter 52, Professor Max, who had been bussed off to Azkaban forty installments earlier (in Chapter 15), finally makes a return.
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It's Quiet… Too Quiet
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comment
It's Quiet… Too Quiet: As they are investigating the Gaunt Shack's surroundings, Moody notices how odd it is that they haven't run into any magical protections, and does so with a long periphrase. This ensues:
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He Was Right There All Along
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_9553214b
comment
He Was Right There All Along: Chapter 66 has a non-villainous example: after Umbridge has finished about how Hermione can't possibly compete in the Tournament on account of being in Azkaban, she reveals that she has been in the Great Hall all along.
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Arrested for Heroism
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comment
Arrested for Heroism: In Chapter 63, Hermione breaks the Statute of Secrecy to save a Muggle man she finds dying in the street. She promptly gets shipped to Azkaban.
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Getting Smilies Painted on Your Soul
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Getting Smilies Painted on Your Soul: A downplayed, Played for Laughs example is the Herbal Tea of Ultimate Serenity. A potent mix of several calming and cheering potions, it is used on Professor Snape to hilarious effect in Chapter 35.
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type
Better to Die than Be Killed
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comment
Better to Die than Be Killed: Supposedly Sirius' reason for killing himself at the end of Second Year. Of course, he's actually Faking the Dead.
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type
Cannot Tell Fiction from Reality
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_9970d26b
comment
Cannot Tell Fiction from Reality: Seems to be the main cause of the Quibbler's… inaccuracies. Chapter 20 shows that Mr Lovegood apparently took The Wizard of Oz at face value, deeming it a groundbreaking documentary on the wrongdoings of the American Dark Wizard Oz.
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Floating Continent
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Floating Continent: The Castle Hogwarts gets turned into one of these halfway through the story by Hermione as a ploy to prevent its invasion by Death Eaters.
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Knighting
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Knighting: In a mock ceremony, Fred and George Weasley knight Hermione, Ron, Harry, Maximilian and Hedwig as "Knights of the Order of the Junior Marauders", with all of Gryffindor House present.
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Kill It with Fire
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Kill It with Fire: The story shows Fiendfyre to be one of the only things that can harm Dementors. Barty Crouch Jr (and Hermione herself) don't have to be told twice.
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What Measure Is a Non-Human?
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What Measure Is a Non-Human?: Wizarding society seems to answer "anything that isn't a Homo Sapiens or maybe a goblin". Hermione disagrees. Vehemently.
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Super-Toughness
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Super-Toughness: The Dementors' bodies (unlike their robes) are utterly indestructible by anything short of Fiendfyre, even being able to No-Sell the Trolley Witch's claws.
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Clock Roaches
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Clock Roaches: Luna Lovegood believes they're real and asks Hermione if she's seen any after she gets her Time-Turner. According to her, they're also known as Time-Tigers or Langoliers, and they eat time-travelers with onions and hot sauce.
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Sarcastic Confession
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_a036d3df
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Sarcastic Confession: Hermione tells Percy there's a basilisk underneath the school that she's good friends with. Naturally, Percy thinks it's a prank.
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Smug Smiler
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_a10a7f9b
comment
Smug Smiler: Harry Potter fanfictions are strangely fixated on making the Slytherins' only facial expressions sneering or smirking. This fandom quirk is parodied here, where smirking and sneering are skills that all Slytherins are supposed to master for public relations as a matter of house pride, and students are casually noted as "master Slytherins" because they manage to communicate their moods solely through sneers and smirks.
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Mood Whiplash
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_a4c37cbe
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Mood Whiplash: Chapter 50 mostly sees the heartwarming, somewhat sad reunion of Lily with Harry and Snape. Then at the very last moment, crashing down comes Mad-Eye Moody saying that every Death Eater in Azkaban has escaped.
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Due to the Dead
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Due to the Dead: During the investigation of the Gaunt Shack, Hermione insists they bury the snake nailed to the door by Gaunt. Dumbledore complies.
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Animate Inanimate Object
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_a73cfb7f
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Umbridge tried to have the Sorting Hat arrested. Dumbledore forces a pardon out of Minister Fudge, who is not happy that Umbridge forced him to do something so ridiculous as issue an official pardon to a piece of headwear.
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_a73cfb7f
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type
Not So Stoic
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_a8a4b41e
comment
Not So Stoic: The usually-stoic Golden Griffin ends up forced to drop his façade by Hermione.
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Unexpected Successor
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_aaff69d0
comment
Unexpected Successor: Lowly clerk Percy Weasley becomes the Acting Minister after Cornelius Fudge disappears.
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 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_b17f6a27
type
I Did What I Had to Do
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_b17f6a27
comment
I Did What I Had to Do: Hermione cut off Snape's hand. She had a good reason, and it was ultimately to protect him, but not everyone sees it that way.
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 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_b1dde8fd
type
Loophole Abuse
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_b1dde8fd
comment
Loophole Abuse: A notable case is how Hermione gets around Tom Riddle's orders to the Basilisk. He forbids her to "take any such initiatives as befriending a muggle-born child" ever again, and she replies by ordering the Basilisk to be friends with her — so it's not actually the Basilisk taking an initiative anymore. Hermione follows Ron's insistence on telling others about the Basilisk by giving a Sarcastic Confession to Percy. When Harry finds out that the Basilisk is forbidden from revealing any details about Tom Riddle's Horcruxes, he says he knows nothing about those - and the Basilisk promptly returns and starts to speak about the Horcruxes while "ignoring" Hermione and using euphemisms to sort her way around the limits Voldemort put on her. The Decree for the Reasonable Restriction of Underage Sorcery forbids young wizards and witches from using active magic out of school. Thus, Hermioen has Harry buy himself a krait (which he names Kaiser) and uses Parseltongue to scare the Dursleys off from trying to bully him. The next year, Vernon tells Harry he knows that kraits are illegal without a permit, and that he will have the police put Kaiser down. Harry points out that, since Vernon is Harry's guardian, he'd be legally responsible for Harry's actions. Vernon is left silent. Then, Vernon tries to bring his shotgun around, so he can kill Kaiser if left alone. Harry starts to bring the snake around with him. Later on, a Boggart manages to purchase a wand. Wait, you say! Does wizarding law not forbid non-human creatures from owning wands? Well, yes, but wizarding law also classifies Boggarts as "amortal non-beings" — not creatures. Hermione gets so good at this that at one point Dumbledore asks her to come for a way for the Sorting Hat to reveal important information. Dumbledore does, however, tell her that this has its limits - the Prophecy involving Harry and Voldemort, at least at first sight, does not seem to have any loopholes that would allow Hermione to save and rehabilitate Voldemort. Not that she doesn't also loophole the Prophecy later on.
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type
The Mind Is a Plaything of the Body
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_b426973b
comment
The Mind Is a Plaything of the Body: When part of Lord Voldemort's soul is transferred into one of the Hogwarts statues, said Horcrux finds himself unable to harm anyone or leave the castle, because all of the statues, whether animated or not, are bewitched to be loyal to the Castle as one of their core values — so that they may act as protectors of Hogwarts in cases of emergency.
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type
Your Days Are Numbered
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_b43dfc8d
comment
Your Days Are Numbered: After being struck with the Withering Curse, Hermione is told out that she has only a week to live at most.
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Kidnapped Scientist
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_b476bd85
comment
Kidnapped Scientist: A fantasy variation with the Alizor King, who wants to keep Hermione and her friends prisoner so they'll teach him magic.
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type
Everyone Has Standards
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_b4a6ae4c
comment
Everyone Has Standards: Cornelius Fudge is a simpering little wimp of a politician... but Umbridge going on a power trip against the Sorting Hat over being mouthed off to, which quickly escalates to legal threats and actual violence, is enough to royally tick him off, and he gives her a thorough chewing-out for making the Ministry look foolish.
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type
Dungeon Bypass
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_b4d6aa7d
comment
Dungeon Bypass: The Third Floor Corridor's obstacles prove no match for the Basilisk as whatever is immune to its stare is not immune to being hit by a fifty foot snake.
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type
Added Alliterative Appeal
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_b5049d76
comment
Added Alliterative Appeal: Quentin the Quick-Quotes Quill. To a lesser extent, Pili Psusennes.
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type
Take That!
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_b53077b3
comment
Take That!: Chapter 70 offers a much-needed Take-That to the fandom-decried way Cedric Diggory turned evil because he was embarrassed at losing the Tournament in Harry Potter and the Cursed Child. Cedric is not chosen as Hogwarts Champion at all in this continuity — Helen Monroe is (then Hermione, then Wesley, then Hedwig). This seems to offend him. But then this happens:
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type
Noodle Implements
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_b5914444
comment
Noodle Implements: The materials Hermione needs to loophole out the Prophecy include a hamster, some ants, and magical paint. A subversion, as the scheme is eventually made clear, long though the characters (and readers) may be kept in the dark a la Noodle before then.
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 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_b7f0b22b
type
Respected by the Respected
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_b7f0b22b
comment
Respected by the Respected: Hermione, naturally — by Dumbledore, the Sorting Hat, Nicholas Flamel, and many more.
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 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_ba0ff694
type
You Have GOT to Be Kidding Me!
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_ba0ff694
comment
You Have GOT to Be Kidding Me!: Hermione is left stunned when she was away just for a weekend, and Fudge somehow managed to screw up twice (by starting a diplomatic incident with Magical Albania (apparently The Dreaded) and taking Lucius Malfoy's advice in regards to inheritance law.
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type
Threshold Guardians
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_bb4b7f7c
comment
Threshold Guardians: Since solvable trials seem to be wizards' idea of good protection, the Third Floor Corridor naturally gets some living one on top of the enchantments from First Year when it gets upgraded in 1992. They include a Sphinx, an Acromantula, a Gargoyle, and, most recently, Sirius Black.
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type
Slasher Smile
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_bd4264a3
comment
Slasher Smile: Hermione's smile when forming a plan to deal with the Dementors is noted as "looking more at home on the face of a Death Eater who had a foolproof plan to murder Dumbledore".
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Translator Microbes
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_bf487e2b
comment
Translator Microbes: One of Hermione's many goals is to invent a spell that can automatically translate speech on the fly. Thus far, she's only been able to create a prototype in the form of an enchanted book that displays whatever speech it hears in the desired language.
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Cool and Unusual Punishment
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_c007c53
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Cool and Unusual Punishment: To discipline Lucius Malfoy, Hermione forces him to donate money to Muggle charities.
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Dragon Rider
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_c0935922
comment
Dragon Rider: Marchog the Acromantula tamed a dragon and rode it into battle during the Acromantula Colony's attack on Hogwarts.
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 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_c0d598fe
type
Evil Gloating
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_c0d598fe
comment
Among the things Voldemort rants about during a bout of Evil Gloating is that unlimited rice pudding is now his, though Hermione may have been imaging that particular boast.
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Irony
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_c335b9ec
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Irony: The very potion/ritual that resurrected Voldemort in canon is used to give Hermione a new body after her old one was destroyed by a curse on one of Voldemort's horcruxes.
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You Are Better Than You Think You Are
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_c3b51bb3
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You Are Better Than You Think You Are: In Chapter 27, Hermione expresses her disappointment at the fact that there is so much she can think about but cannot do. Dumbledore replies by pointing out that she has powerful and loyal friends (Harry, Sirius, Max, the Basilisk, Dumbledore), has found the cure to Lycanthropy (which has vexed wizardkind for centuries), saved Sirius from being Kissed by a Dementor and is pretty much the most powerful person in Magical Britain (as she has become the girl behind Cornelius Fudge). Hermione later spends rather a lot of time reassuring Dumbledore and Grindelwald that they are in fact awesome and that it's been way too long for them to still mope about how much they regret the errors of their youth and what terrible people they must be deep down, and reminding them that their time and abilities would be better spent actually going out and doing good than feeling sorry for themselves.
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Squib
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_c3c2466b
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Hermione not-so-reluctantly blackmails Mr. Filch with the secret of his being a Squib so that he'll permanently lay off her and her friends' backs.
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Opposites Theme Naming
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Opposites Theme Naming: Played With with Sirius Black and Jester White — the latter being an outrageous alias (complete with Paper-Thin Disguise) of the former. The name "Jester White" is literally the opposite of "Sirius Black" to an absurdly literal extent, which is all the better to back up Sirius's equally outrageous claims that Jester is clearly a completely different person.
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type
Shout-Out
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_c75df49a
comment
Shout-Out: Luna creates a portrait of a large pile of ash (which constantly spouts Botnik-inspired nonsense, too). She also namedrops Hogswatch and Langoliers. The Quibbler decides that the Quick-Quotes Quill business is the work of a goblin named Scruge Makduk. They similarly think The Wizard of Oz is a documentary about real events. Their article on Vampires classifies them as sparkling woodland creatures closely related to Trolls. One of the Weasleys' ancestors had the first name Wistram. The school of magic that animates statues and other inanimate objects more lastingly than Charms (as seen at the Battle of Hogwarts in canon) is called Substitutiary Locomotion. Hermione insists that a comically-reluctant Harry wear the ruddy hat. (Somewhat ironic in that, from their personalities, you'd expect Hermione to be the unwilling hat-ee…) A handful to Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality. Dumbledore points out that were the Forbidden Forest permitted, it would in fact be called the Permitted Forest. Hermione's Time-Turner is "officially" a Spimster Wicket. Among the things Voldemort rants about during a bout of Evil Gloating is that unlimited rice pudding is now his, though Hermione may have been imaging that particular boast.
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type
Mundane Afterlife
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_c9a33c23
comment
Mundane Afterlife: According to Igor Karkaroff, a positive version of this trope; aside from watching over the goings-on of the mortal world, the dead spend most of their time on hobbies. He, for one, likes to play poker with Emeric the Evil, a long-dead Dark Wizard. (Who cheats.)
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Temporal Mutability
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_ca9e3345
comment
Temporal Mutability: See Timey-Wimey Ball below.
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 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_cc5ede7f
type
Obliviously Beautiful
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_cc5ede7f
comment
Obliviously Beautiful: Hermione is (as in canon) somewhat plain-looking as a human, and makes no attempts to make herself look prettier. She is quite surprised (and embarrassed) to discover that her snake form is apparently extremely attractive.
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type
Amulet of Dependency
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_ce25dff9
comment
Amulet of Dependency: A variation with the Diary. It's not of any use to Apophis, but if he gets too far away from it for too long, he'll start to wither away and eventually die. It's all an incentive given by Voldemort for Lucius to keep the Diary as safe as possible.
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type
What the Hell, Hero?
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_d39e327f
comment
What the Hell, Hero?: Upon learning that no one told him about Max being a boggart for months, Neville tearfully chews out Hermione over being "all set to declare her shoe a person at the drop of a hat" yet treating him like "part of the scenery". Later on, Hermione gets this again from everybody after she cut off Snape's arm.
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Refuge in Audacity
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_d45c0b86
comment
Refuge in Audacity: Dumbledore revels in this when dealing with the Durmstrang defenders. "Dear me, jail? That sounds quite boring. I think I'd rather go home."
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Lots of Luggage
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_d637e778
comment
Lots of Luggage: Inverts this trope. When the Dementors (the entire Dementor race) move away from Azkaban permanently, all they take is one old rickety suitcase.
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_d637e778
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 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_d9cf40fa
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Screw This, I'm Outta Here
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_d9cf40fa
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Screw This, I'm Outta Here: The Golden Griffin is fine with guarding a room in the Third Floor Corridor... but not if he has to guard it from Hermione Granger.
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 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_dcaa8b35
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Locked Room Mystery
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_dcaa8b35
comment
Locked Room Mystery: The overnight disappearance of Professor Igor Karkaroff, who had been hiding out in the extremely protected Iron Tower of Durmstrang Institute.
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_dcaa8b35
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Who Writes This Crap?!
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_dd891949
comment
Who Writes This Crap?!: In Chapter 27, upon learning about the Prophecy, Hermione screeches: "Who writes this reality?" and goes on to list off in exactly what ridiculous ways her (or, rather, Harry's) life looks like a clichéd fantasy novel.
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A Rare Sentence
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A Rare Sentence:
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Our Souls Are Different
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_e294a0be
comment
Our Souls Are Different: Expounded a bit more than in canon, thanks to the "inside perspective" of Maximilian, who, being a Boggart, was born with the ability to perceive souls. For instance, he describes the soul of a Dementor as "a predatory thing" that is entirely built to be able to parasitically penetrate and feed off other souls; he notes that a wizard's soul can be "twisted" in a similar way, albeit only artificially (which is hinted to be how Legilimency works).
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Going Commando
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_e32c80d9
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Early on Luna thinks that wearing a pillowcase (and nothing else) and speaking in broken English is all it takes for House-Elves to confuse her for one of their own. A mortified Hermione quickly talks her out of it.
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Indy Ploy
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Indy Ploy: After Hermione is recognized by the Goblin King as being not quite human, she spins a tale that ends with her freeing all the dragons in Gringotts.
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Determinator
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Determinator: Hermione, when faced with something everyone thinks is impossible.
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Exact Words
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_e9e35e8f
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Exact Words: When explaining why he invited Hermione to a small Christmas dinner with his family, Fudge explains that he's been corresponding with her about governmental manners. He manages to frame this so that it sounds like he's just keeping in touch with the youth perspective — given that what he's actually been doing amounts to asking Hermione for so much advice that she's practically running the government for him, she deems this sleight-of-hand one of the most Slytherin things Fudge has managed to do. Every student of Hogwarts since Dumbledore became headmaster has been told "Help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it." The Dementors of Azkaban see no reason it shouldn't apply to them as well.
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Locked Out of the Loop
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Locked Out of the Loop: Neville was the only one in Hermione's group of friends who didn't know about Maximilian actually being a Boggart rather than a human being. When he off-handedly learns it after a whole year of considering himself, Harry and Neville best friends, he... doesn't take it well.
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Goggles Do Something Unusual
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Goggles Do Something Unusual: The Basilisk gets a pair that cancel her lethal Gaze if needed.
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Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness
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Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness: Minor character Hengist Rawkes always talks like this — or at least, his portrait does.
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Capital Letters Are Magic
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_f4061d83
comment
Capital Letters Are Magic: The Wolves, as opposed to the wolves. Lampshaded (since it causes a bit of confusion), and explained as Hagrid just plain not thinking of a better name and deciding Wolves was good enough.
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I Always Wanted to Say That
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I Always Wanted to Say That: Dumbledore asks for a cucumber sandwich, simply because he always wanted to say it.
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Faking the Dead
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Sirius Black, Faking the Dead, disguises himself as "Mr Jester White, from Canada". His disguise consists of a pair of glasses and a false beard. Everyone but Snape either falls for it, or pretends to.
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Place Beyond Time
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comment
Place Beyond Time: The state of being one enters while turning a time-turner, sometimes known as the Land of Never Time, the Void Between the Worlds or the Time Vortex, is akin to this.
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Running Gag
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Running Gag: During the first two years, Hermione uses utterly ridiculous names for Crabbe and Goyle, because she never remembers their names (such as "Lobster and Boil").
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Merger of Souls
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Merger of Souls: The Sorting Hat ends up absorbing the part of Voldemort inside the Cup of Hufflepuff.
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Beware the Nice Ones
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Beware the Nice Ones: Do not mess with the Hogwarts Express or its passengers around the Trolley Lady. Not only can she grow Wolverine Claws but she also has a patronus of the train itself to deal with Dementors.
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Dead Hat Shot
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Dead Hat Shot: When Cornelius Fudge mysteriously disappears, all that's left in his office is his iconic green bowler.
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Dark and Troubled Past
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_fed93e1b
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Dark and Troubled Past: Parodied in Chapter 44, where Snape and Dumbledore get into a hissy-fit over whose backstory is more tragic and therefore has the right to use the Resurrection Stone first. Hermione is not pleased, and insists on solving the dilemma with actual reasons.
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Shown Their Work
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic) / int_ffad4e9f
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Shown Their Work: The Sphinx's name, Pili Psusennes of the Nassor Clan, is in fact a plausible Ancient Egyptian name. The password to the very old secret Ravenclaw room is also in plausible Middle English.
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The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)

The following is a list of statements referring to the current page from other pages.

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hasFeature
Merger of Souls / int_5f5b8099
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
hasFeature
Milestone Celebration / int_5f5b8099
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
hasFeature
Mole Men / int_5f5b8099
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
hasFeature
Monster Lord / int_5f5b8099
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
hasFeature
Mundane Afterlife / int_5f5b8099
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
hasFeature
Naked on Revival / int_5f5b8099
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
hasFeature
Nightmare Fetishist / int_5f5b8099
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
hasFeature
Noble Wolf / int_5f5b8099
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
hasFeature
Not-So-Harmless Villain / int_5f5b8099
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
hasFeature
Obliviously Beautiful / int_5f5b8099
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
hasFeature
Offered the Crown / int_5f5b8099
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
hasFeature
Paper-Thin Disguise / int_5f5b8099
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
hasFeature
Perception Filter / int_5f5b8099
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
hasFeature
Place Beyond Time / int_5f5b8099
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
hasFeature
Prophecy Twist / int_5f5b8099
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
hasFeature
Psycho Supporter / int_5f5b8099
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
hasFeature
Puppet King / int_5f5b8099
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
hasFeature
Put on a Bus / int_5f5b8099
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
hasFeature
Putting the "Pal" in Principal / int_5f5b8099
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
hasFeature
Red Is Violent / int_5f5b8099
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
hasFeature
Requisite Royal Regalia / int_5f5b8099
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
hasFeature
Respected by the Respected / int_5f5b8099
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
hasFeature
Retired Badass / int_5f5b8099
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
hasFeature
Royal "We" / int_5f5b8099
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
hasFeature
Rules Lawyer / int_5f5b8099
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
hasFeature
Sapient Pet / int_5f5b8099
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
hasFeature
Sealed Evil in a Teddy Bear / int_5f5b8099
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
hasFeature
Self-Defeating Prophecy / int_5f5b8099
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
hasFeature
Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness / int_5f5b8099
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
hasFeature
Shapeshifter Weapon / int_5f5b8099
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
hasFeature
Succession Crisis / int_5f5b8099
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
hasFeature
Summon Bigger Fish / int_5f5b8099
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
hasFeature
Super Smoke / int_5f5b8099
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
hasFeature
Super-Toughness / int_5f5b8099
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
hasFeature
Sweet Tooth / int_5f5b8099
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
hasFeature
Temporal Mutability / int_5f5b8099
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
hasFeature
The Bus Came Back / int_5f5b8099
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
hasFeature
The Pardon / int_5f5b8099
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
hasFeature
Threshold Guardians / int_5f5b8099
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
hasFeature
Timey-Wimey Ball / int_5f5b8099
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
hasFeature
Torment by Annoyance / int_5f5b8099
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
hasFeature
Trampled Underfoot / int_5f5b8099
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
hasFeature
Trap Door / int_5f5b8099
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
hasFeature
Tricked Out Time / int_5f5b8099
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
hasFeature
Try to Fit That on a Business Card / int_5f5b8099
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
hasFeature
Unexpected Successor / int_5f5b8099
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
hasFeature
Unwitting Pawn / int_5f5b8099
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
hasFeature
Uplifted Animal / int_5f5b8099
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
hasFeature
Was Once a Man / int_5f5b8099
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
hasFeature
What Do You Mean, It's Not Political? / int_5f5b8099
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
hasFeature
When Trees Attack / int_5f5b8099
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
hasFeature
Who Writes This Crap?! / int_5f5b8099
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
hasFeature
Workaholic / int_5f5b8099
 The Parselmouth of Gryffindor (Fanfic)
hasFeature
Zany Scheme / int_5f5b8099