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Men Don't Tell

188 statements
36 feature instances
2 referencing feature instances

Men Don't Tell	type	TVTItem
Men Don't Tell	label	Men Don't Tell
Men Don't Tell	page	MenDontTell
Men Don't Tell	comment	Men Don't Tell is a 1993 television drama film starring Peter Strauss and Judith Light. It was directed by Harry Winer. The film first aired on the CBS network on March 14, 1993, though it was never rebroadcast on over-the-air television, reportedly because it incurred the wrath of several women's groups. However, the film has since been shown a number of times on Lifetime.Ed MacAffrey, a loving husband and father, is terrorized by the violent behavior of his wife, Laura. He tolerates this not only because he loves her and is concerned over the welfare of his daughter, but also because men are traditionally regarded as weaklings if they allow themselves to be battered by their wives. After one of Laura's destructive tantrums brings the attention of the police, Ed is suspected of being the aggressor. Finally, Laura goes too far and Ed tries to defend himself - whereupon Laura crashes through the front window of her home and is rendered comatose. Ed is arrested for domestic violence and attempted murder.As he is interrogated, he tells his story of years of abuse, and how he even once sought help by calling a domestic violence hotline, only to get scorned and hung up on. This interrogation takes all night, by highly skeptical police. While this is going on, his children have been taken to their paternal grandfather Jack, a retired police officer, to spend the night. In the morning, his young daughter Cindy, who chose to remain silent through the years of abuse due to the humiliation and shame, asked Jack if her mother was in trouble. This surprised Jack, who then asked her why she thought her mother, whom he thought was the victim of his abusive son, would be in trouble? To this, Cindy said, "For being so mean to Daddy all the time, and yelling, and breaking things, and hitting us and stuff". When this is brought to the attention of the police, Ed is finally let go while Laura is arrested.
Men Don't Tell	fetched	2023-07-20T05:15:10Z
Men Don't Tell	parsed	2023-07-20T05:15:10Z
Men Don't Tell	isPartOf	DBTropes
Men Don't Tell / int_1b4ead2d	type	Soft Glass
Men Don't Tell / int_1b4ead2d	comment	Soft Glass: Averted, Laura gets a concussion from going headfirst through a glass window.
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Men Don't Tell	hasFeature	Men Don't Tell / int_1b4ead2d
Men Don't Tell / int_1dfd19f9	type	Papa Wolf
Men Don't Tell / int_1dfd19f9	comment	Papa Wolf: Laura punches Ed in the face? He is shocked but barely acknowledges it. She busts his truck? It can be fixed. She pummels him in a drunken/jealous rage? He tries to push her away. But when she slapped their daughter, that's when Ed reacted at his most brutal and even then, he was only trying to restrain her... But her struggle leads them to go through a window, where Laura got a concussion and Ed got cuts from the glass.
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Men Don't Tell / int_2112092c	type	Lifetime Movie of the Week
Men Don't Tell / int_2112092c	comment	Lifetime Movie of the Week: One of the extremely rare Gender Flips; here, it's the husband who's aggrieved and fighting for empowerment against the evil, abusive wife.
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Men Don't Tell	hasFeature	Men Don't Tell / int_2112092c
Men Don't Tell / int_23e32a30	type	Genre Deconstruction
Men Don't Tell / int_23e32a30	comment	Genre Deconstruction: For the typical domestic abuse drama. Instead of the husband doing the beating, it's the other way around.
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Men Don't Tell	hasFeature	Men Don't Tell / int_23e32a30
Men Don't Tell / int_285b4246	type	Birthday Hater
Men Don't Tell / int_285b4246	comment	Birthday Hater: Ed is one. The first incident happened as he accused his wife of throwing a party at his birthday for herself and not to make him happy, especially considering he explicitly said he didn't want a party for his birthday.
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Men Don't Tell / int_2e154495	type	Shower of Angst
Men Don't Tell / int_2e154495	comment	Shower of Angst: Ed has one while exposing the hidden bruises sustained from Laura all over his body.
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Men Don't Tell	hasFeature	Men Don't Tell / int_2e154495
Men Don't Tell / int_32da91b8	type	Out of Focus
Men Don't Tell / int_32da91b8	comment	Out of Focus: You would be forgiven if you barely remember Alan, Ed and Laura's son. While his sister Cindy plays a small but crucial part in her parents' deteriorating marriage and the one to testify and clear Ed's name, Alan is just there if he's ever onscreen.
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Men Don't Tell / int_33f1c576	type	Not Helping Your Case
Men Don't Tell / int_33f1c576	comment	Not Helping Your Case: When the cops interrogate Ed, he does have a bad case of putting his foot in his mouth, which doesn't do him any favors.
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Men Don't Tell / int_479d4e5a	type	Would Hurt a Child
Men Don't Tell / int_479d4e5a	comment	Would Hurt a Child: Laura, who hit her own daughter when she told her to stop yelling at Ed. The incident was enough to push Ed, who was mostly passive up to this point, to try and restrain her. Her struggling led them through a window, where she got a concussion. The event also made Cindy turn against her and save her father by telling the police everything, meaning that Laura gets arrested.
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Men Don't Tell / int_483152c4	type	The Resenter
Men Don't Tell / int_483152c4	comment	The Resenter: Laura. Every incident is precipitated by her resenting Ed for a perceived slight, from Ed helping at a Christmas party for charity so that he could leave fliers (One person helping organizing it is a young attractive woman, and Laura came to the conclusion he was cheating on her), to him playing poker with his business partners one night a month (which we see on-screen brings him business when Ed and Laura struggle with money, but she sees that as him prioritizing his selfish amusement over her)...
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Men Don't Tell / int_4e7c4536	type	Wham Line
Men Don't Tell / int_4e7c4536	comment	Wham Line: At the end of the film, when Laura and Ed run into each other at the latter's best friend's wedding, Laura asks what he's going to tell people about why they split; after a long pause, Ed responds "the truth" and walks away.
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Men Don't Tell / int_53224e46	type	Bookends
Men Don't Tell / int_53224e46	comment	Bookends: The film started with Laura and Ed dancing at their wedding reception and ends with Ed's Best Friend and fiancee doing the same.
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Men Don't Tell / int_5edb884e	type	Face of a Thug
Men Don't Tell / int_5edb884e	comment	Face of a Thug: Besides the stereotype, nobody believes Ed to be the victim of Domestic Abuse on account of his menacing-looking face and his tanned muscular body which screams wife-beater.
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Men Don't Tell / int_62663d88	type	Men Don't Cry
Men Don't Tell / int_62663d88	comment	Men Don't Cry: One of the reasons why Ed refused to ask for help during the years of abuse.
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Men Don't Tell / int_6ae4dedd	type	The Unfair Sex
Men Don't Tell / int_6ae4dedd	comment	The Unfair Sex: Played for Drama and ultimately Deconstructed. Ed is arrested by the police and faces some serious jail time (and possibly losing custody of his daughter) because everyone assumes that he was the domestic abuser.
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Men Don't Tell / int_6ca72c26	type	All Take and No Give
Men Don't Tell / int_6ca72c26	comment	All Take and No Give: Laura's relationship with Ed devolves into this, expecting him to constantly spend time with her, unwilling to compromise when he has other plans and is never satisfied when he does give everything he's got. Ed even tells her this is one of the reasons why they can't be together anymore.
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Men Don't Tell / int_72852a93	type	Henpecked Husband
Men Don't Tell / int_72852a93	comment	Henpecked Husband: Deconstructed and Played for Drama. Ed hides his wife's abuse to him because it'd be unmanly for a grown man to be smacked around by a woman. Indeed, the one time he tried to get help he was laughed at by the phone operator.
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Men Don't Tell / int_77e45bb5	type	Why Did You Make Me Hit You?
Men Don't Tell / int_77e45bb5	comment	Why Did You Make Me Hit You?: Laura displays this attitude whenever Ed says or does something with which she disagrees.
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Men Don't Tell / int_7eebe99c	type	The Alcoholic
Men Don't Tell / int_7eebe99c	comment	As if Laura being The Alcoholic wasn't enough of a dead giveaway, she shows severe resentment towards Ed without an explicit cause for it. Domestic abusers are often The Resenter for real or perceived slights.
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Men Don't Tell / int_875615dd	type	Truth in Television
Men Don't Tell / int_875615dd	comment	Truth in Television: Unfortunately, this type of woman-on-man domestic abuse does happen, and is sometimes met with just this much of an unhelpful response.
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Men Don't Tell / int_91672d3e	type	Children Are Innocent
Men Don't Tell / int_91672d3e	comment	Children Are Innocent: What ultimately saves Ed is his daughter, not realizing he was the one getting in trouble, innocently asking Ed's father if her mother was going to get in trouble for what she did, which lead to him asking what she meant, and, after she explained what she witnessed with her own two eyes, to bring her to the police station to testify.
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Men Don't Tell / int_970c790a	type	Big Bad
Men Don't Tell / int_970c790a	comment	Big Bad: Laura, Ed's abusive wife, is the antagonist of the film, as the film is about their dysfunctional relationship and his often failed (due to being a male abuse victim) attempts to get help.
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Men Don't Tell / int_973d220f	type	Never My Fault
Men Don't Tell / int_973d220f	comment	Never My Fault: No matter how badly Laura acts or how violent she gets, she constantly makes excuses for her behavior, declaring that there's nothing wrong with her, and placing the blame for her actions on others.
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Men Don't Tell / int_974b47a7	type	Men Are the Expendable Gender
Men Don't Tell / int_974b47a7	comment	Men Are the Expendable Gender: Subverted. Everyone, even Ed's own father, assumes that Ed was in the wrong and Laura was the victim, when it was the other way around.
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Men Don't Tell / int_9d12bbc1	type	Foreshadowing
Men Don't Tell / int_9d12bbc1	comment	Foreshadowing: While the build-up to the first incident sets up Ed as the Red Herring by piling on every movie abusive husband cliché they can on Ed, it does a good job at showing Laura as the problem person if you know about real domestic violence dynamics: It shows early on that Laura is The Alcoholic, a very common trait real among domestic abusers. As if Laura being The Alcoholic wasn't enough of a dead giveaway, she shows severe resentment towards Ed without an explicit cause for it. Domestic abusers are often The Resenter for real or perceived slights. Laura's mother encourages her to slap her kids once in a while as she was disciplined with this method. Sure enough, she slaps her daughter after she rightfully told Laura to stop yelling and Ed finally reaches his breaking point.
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Men Don't Tell / int_b11ac9f5	type	Abusive Parents
Men Don't Tell / int_b11ac9f5	comment	Abusive Parents: Aside from abusing her husband, Laura also slaps her daughter when she rightfully tells her mother to stop yelling at her dad. It is revealed that Laura's mother was this to her and her siblings when she smacked them as a form of discipline and encourages Laura to do the same with her children.
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Men Don't Tell / int_c0e3994b	type	Double Standard: Abuse, Female on Male
Men Don't Tell / int_c0e3994b	comment	Double Standard: Abuse, Female on Male: Completely Deconstructed as the film shows the negative effects it has on the husband being abused.
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Men Don't Tell / int_c335b9ec	type	Irony
Men Don't Tell / int_c335b9ec	comment	Irony: Ed wears a type of sleeveless shirt known as a "wife-beater". He is the victim of his wife's beatings.
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Men Don't Tell / int_c868a42a	type	Freudian Excuse
Men Don't Tell / int_c868a42a	comment	Freudian Excuse: It's suggested that the difficult relationship between Laura and her mother is one of the reasons why Laura acts violent.
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Men Don't Tell / int_cf92fea8	type	Cassandra Truth
Men Don't Tell / int_cf92fea8	comment	Cassandra Truth: No one buys the fact that Laura has been abusing Ed. It's not until his daughter tells Ed's father about her mother is when they realize that Ed is innocent.
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Men Don't Tell / int_dbca2c99	type	Red Herring
Men Don't Tell / int_dbca2c99	comment	While the build-up to the first incident sets up Ed as the Red Herring by piling on every movie abusive husband cliché they can on Ed, it does a good job at showing Laura as the problem person if you know about real domestic violence dynamics: It shows early on that Laura is The Alcoholic, a very common trait real among domestic abusers. As if Laura being The Alcoholic wasn't enough of a dead giveaway, she shows severe resentment towards Ed without an explicit cause for it. Domestic abusers are often The Resenter for real or perceived slights.
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Men Don't Tell / int_dcd423d2	type	Affectionate Nickname
Men Don't Tell / int_dcd423d2	comment	Affectionate Nickname: Ed calls Laura "Laurie" as a term of endearment even during his long-suffering marriage on good days and after their divorce.
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Men Don't Tell / int_dd5c2ab6	type	All Abusers Are Male
Men Don't Tell / int_dd5c2ab6	comment	All Abusers Are Male: The reason why Ed is arrested by the police after Laura crashed through the window. He even calls a domestic abuse hotline for help, but the operator simply scoffs at him before hanging up.
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Men Don't Tell / int_f64a9cf7	type	Earn Your Happy Ending
Men Don't Tell / int_f64a9cf7	comment	Earn Your Happy Ending: Ed is released when it's revealed that he was telling the truth about Laura's abusive behaviour to him and their daughter and, as an added bonus, Laura will face comeuppance for her behavior.
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Men Don't Tell / int_fc45bac0	type	Wouldn't Hit a Girl
Men Don't Tell / int_fc45bac0	comment	Wouldn't Hit a Girl: No matter how many times Ed is physically and verbally abused (which unfortunately lasted for years), not once did he ever raise his fist at Laura, even when she deserved it. At worst, he tries to restrain her so she wouldn't attack him or their daughter. This also became a Berserk Button for him when the police investigators keep insisting he's the one who is beating their spouse.
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The following is a list of statements referring to the current page from other pages.

	Men Don't Tell	hasFeature	Films of 1990â€“1994 / int_455d931e
	Men Don't Tell	hasFeature	Lifetime Movie of the Week / int_455d931e

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