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The Giant Spider Invasion

 The Giant Spider Invasion
type
TVTItem
 The Giant Spider Invasion
label
The Giant Spider Invasion
 The Giant Spider Invasion
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TheGiantSpiderInvasion
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A low-budget 1975 Sci-Fi Horror film directed by Bill Rebane which dares to show that, yes, there are rednecks living well north of the Mason-Dixon line, and no, covering up a Volkswagen with fake fur and sticking legs on it does not make a convincing giant spider.A meteorite crashes in Merrill, Wisconsin, leaving behind an ominous "wormhole" in the impact crater and a bunch of geodes scattered across a really unappealing farmer's property. Between belittling his alcoholic wife Ev, visiting the local prostitute, and threatening to spank his wife's teenage sister, Dan Kester attempts to sell the extraterrestrial rocks to his equally unappealing cousin Billy, but is miffed when the jeweler informs him that they don't have much value. Dan is distracted from these monetary woes when it turns out that the "geodes" are actually eggs, which hatch to release first a swarm of tarantulas, then badly-made, dog-sized spider puppets, and finally the Volkswagenspinne.While the assorted arachnids do their best to clean up northern Wisconsin's gene pool, a pair of scientists wander around ineffectually before airdropping a device that manages to close the wormhole and melt the spider-car. There are a couple of B-plots, including a fire-and-brimstone preacher's revival, a missing motorcyclist, and a young couple's quest to find a place to make out, but that's about it.The movie was filmed primarily on location in the towns of Merrill and Tomahawk, while the spider's rampage at a fair was shot during a Gleason Heritage Days event in Rebane's hometown of Gleason, Wisconsin. The cast is populated by famous has-beens including Alan Hale Jr. as a dumpy sheriff, Barbara Hale as a lady scientist in a pantsuit, and Steve Brodie as a morbidly obese NASA scientist. Robert Easton, who not only starred as Dan Kester but cowrote the screenplay — aside from being a 60-year acting veteran by the time of his death — was famous for his ability to do two hundred convincing regional accents. He became known as "The Man of a Thousand Voices" and was the best Hollywood dialect coach.note The only major Hollywood actor he never trained was Meryl Streep. One might wonder why Bill Rebane was able to hire them for his B-Movie — the simple reason was that all of those actors were born-and-bred Wisconsinites who knew Rebane very well, and used the film as a way to visit their families.That said, it was one of the top grossing films of 1975. With a budget of $300,000, the film has grossed over $15 million in domestic box office since its release.Bill Rebane has decided to turn The Giant Spider Invasion into a stage musical, and why not? He hopes it'll have legs.For the Mystery Science Theater 3000 version, please go to the episode recap page.
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Dropped link to Fanservice: Not a Feature - IGNORE
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Dropped link to Troll: Not a Feature - IGNORE
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 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_18aff462
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Artistic License – Biology
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Artistic License – Biology: Spiders do not actually eat their victims, especially not swallowing them whole. Instead, they drain their victims dry. Then again, these are alien spiders.
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 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_191e0d45
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Preacher Man
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Preacher Man: There are brief moments when a local revival is shown, and the preacher's sermon also briefly plays right before the end credits.
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 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_1e7487cd
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Breaking the Fourth Wall
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Breaking the Fourth Wall: After the sheriff tells a caller to use the phone book to call someone else, he looks directly into the camera and says, "That's funny. I wonder why she hung up on me?"
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 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_1e7c47ab
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Stealth Pun
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Stealth Pun: Combined with Shout-Out. Vance asks Langer if "your local sheriff will support us," a gag on the western movie Support Your Local Sheriff.
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 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_1f250372
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I Need a Freaking Drink
 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_1f250372
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I Need a Freaking Drink: Ev justifies hittin' the booze again by saying it's the only way she can cope with the filthy state of her home. Because obviously cleaning is too much to expect.
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 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_2439b588
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As the Good Book Says...
 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_2439b588
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As the Good Book Says...: Though he plays no point in the plot besides an excuse for Dan Kester to visit a whore, the hellfire-flinging preacher is a recurring character who even gets to rant over the closing credits.
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 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_33d0b177
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Attack of the Town Festival
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Attack of the Town Festival: The titular menace attacks during the town festival and kills a bunch of people, which prompts the town to whip itself into a bloodthirsty frenzy and go after the spider... getting even more people killed.
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 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_392372f9
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Actor Allusion
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Actor Allusion: One of Alan Hale's first lines as the sheriff is "Hey, little buddy!"
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 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_3aadff4
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Left Your Lifesaver Behind
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Left Your Lifesaver Behind: Doctor Vance forgets the flares and needs to run back to the car and get them.
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 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_5207e2b0
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Stalling the Sip
 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_5207e2b0
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Stalling the Sip: In one of the film's nearly effective scenes, a tarantula sneaks into Ev's morning booze while she's blending it, creating a few tense seconds as she and Dan pass the spider-smoothie back and forth before Ev tastes it.
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 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_54243cf7
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Parrot Exposition
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Parrot Exposition: "What's that? Repeat what you say to provide exposition?"
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 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_5c446b43
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Aliens in Cardiff
 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_5c446b43
comment
Aliens in Cardiff: We can only assume the alien spiders didn't land in Wisconsin on purpose.
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 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_643659d4
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Spit Take
 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_643659d4
comment
Spit Take: Ev's reaction when she finally does taste the Bloody Mary with a blended spider as a surprise ingredient.
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 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_6c324f14
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Talking to Plants
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Talking to Plants: Dr. Vance does this to his office plants.
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 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_7315fd38
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Covers Always Lie
 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_7315fd38
comment
Covers Always Lie: Applies to movie posters too: The poster promises at least two giant spiders attacking what seems to be a reasonably sized city, not one giant spider wandering through redneck country.
 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_7315fd38
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 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_7921ad77
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Actually, I Am Him
 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_7921ad77
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Actually, I Am Him: In a painfully unfunny bit of humor, Dr. Vance is surprised to learn that Dr. Langer is of the feminine persuasion.
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 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_7eebe99c
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The Alcoholic
 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_7eebe99c
comment
The Alcoholic: Ev evidently subsists entirely upon liquor and bitterness.
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 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_80b5924
type
Left Hanging
 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_80b5924
comment
Left Hanging: The two scientists manage to bumble their way into killing the giant spider using science. As it melts into goo, they wonder if this will happen again. Of course the answer is it will, since all of the tiny spiders are still out there, and presumably have the power to grow big as well, and they never actually closed the wormhole that brought them here either. Also, the town is still in a state of anarchy and outrage, especially now that the sheriff is dead, not that he was all that great at keeping the peace anyway.
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 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_81939da2
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MockGuffin
 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_81939da2
comment
MockGuffin: The diamonds found in the geodes that the spiders come out of. Ev and Dan Kester think that the diamonds will make them rich. Cousin Billy says that they aren't worth much; but then again he also shows interest, implying that he might have been lying about their true value. In any case, they don't factor into the plot other than having Dan go out and gather more of them to get killed by the mother spider.
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 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_8ed5c6e4
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Asshole Victim
 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_8ed5c6e4
comment
Asshole Victim: Dan is an adulterer, hits on his underage sister-in-law, and verbally abuses his family. He becomes one of the spider's victims. Cousin Billy also sees little problem with coming on to Dan's younger sister-in-law. He becomes one of the first victims of the spiders.
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 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_9be7c205
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Giant Spider
 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_9be7c205
comment
Giant Spider: The titular monster is a fur-covered Volkswagen pretending to be a giant spider.
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 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_9d67ad5c
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Nuclear Mutant
 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_9d67ad5c
comment
Nuclear Mutant: A couple of early scenes with Drs. Vance and Langer imply that radiation causes the spiders' abnormal size, since the meteor crash coincided with (and probably caused) the disappearance of a B-52 carrying a nuclear weapon. On the other hand, this tidbit isn't mentioned after the first twenty minutes or so, which leads us to believe that these alien spiders naturally grow to huge sizes.
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 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_a20d4674
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Techno Babble
 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_a20d4674
comment
Technobabble: Whenever Vance and Langer try to figure out where the spiders are coming from.
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 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_a7aef9ff
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Obfuscating Stupidity
 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_a7aef9ff
comment
Obfuscating Stupidity: The sheriff loves to be a Troll. He actually gets Dr. Vance to describe what the function of Geiger counters are, listening with false rapt attention. Dr. Langer stops Vance from making a complete fool of himself by stating the sheriff is aware of what radioactivity is.
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 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_aa30e350
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Sole Survivor
 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_aa30e350
comment
Sole Survivor: Almost the entire Kester family gets killed. (And There Was Much Rejoicing) The only Kester who doesn't die is Terry (and there was even more rejoicing), and even then she sits the last third of the movie out due to being put into a coma (no rejoicing there).
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 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_b1191cb2
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I Ate WHAT?!
 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_b1191cb2
comment
I Ate WHAT?!: When Ev realizes an alien spider got blended into her Bloody Mary, she freaks out and spits the drink everywhere.
 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_b1191cb2
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 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_b53077b3
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Take That!
 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_b53077b3
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Take That!: The sheriff remarks that the spider "makes that shark from Jaws look like a goldfish!"
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 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_b58b4e3c
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Too Dumb to Live
 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_b58b4e3c
comment
Too Dumb to Live: The Sheriff's Deputy at the end of the movie runs out of bullets shooting fruitlessly at the spider. Instead of fleeing like a sensible person, he throws his gun at the spider... then pulls off his gun belt and tries whipping the spider with it. Two guesses what happens to him next, and the first one is replaced with "remember Too Dumb to Live is a death trope".
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 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_b85c06f2
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Glowing Eyes of Doom
 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_b85c06f2
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Glowing Eyes of Doom: The giant spider's eyes are actually the taillights of the Volkswagen from which it's built.
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We Have Forgotten the Phlebotinum
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We Have Forgotten the Phlebotinum: An excuse to have the heroes backtrack to discover some hatched geodes.
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 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_c660bc15
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Fan Disservice
 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_c660bc15
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Fan Disservice: We also get to see gratuitous shots of Dan Kester in his dirty, stained long underwear. Also, safe to say no one wanted to see Alan Hale Jr. with the top buttons of his shirt undone.
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 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_d075311d
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ShesAllGrownUp
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She's All Grown Up: After Ev gets eaten and Dan and Terry don't know or worry where she is, Kester remarks that maybe he should have married Terry, who quickly reminds him that she was only 11 at the time. Dan remarks she's not 11 anymore, while checking her out. She replies, along with a closeup on her cleavage:
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Mrs. Robinson
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Mrs. Robinson: Ev not-so-subtly hits on Dave, saying if she were younger, she'd "jump" him. Judging by the tone of her voice and seductive posture, it's not a prerequisite anyway.
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Our Wormholes Are Different
 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_d51553de
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Our Wormholes Are Different: They're full of spiders, for one thing.
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 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_dfb71617
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Male Gaze
 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_dfb71617
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Male Gaze: We're treated to a zoom-in on Terry's cleavage when she talks about how she's an adult, and another when the camera zooms in on her panty-clad butt for no reason after she shoos Billy out the door in the un-MST'd version.
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 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_e6558beb
type
Artistic License – Space
 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_e6558beb
comment
Artistic License – Space: A black hole in a meteor lets the spiders into our dimension! Our only hope is to bombard it with science! Believe it or not, not only would a black hole probably not be a portal to the spider dimension, it would just kinda compress everything within the local area, which would be dangerous enough. And you can't just feed it until it's full. A small black hole will dissipate after time, however, as micro-black holes do in colliders, unable to sustain themselves.note Had the film gone with a wormhole, it would have been marginally more believable.
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 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_e88e8a8f
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Writer on Board
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comment
Actor on Board: Robert Easton, who played Dan Kester, also co-wrote the script. Apparently it had a very serious tone until he added jokes.
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 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_eb8ec7c8
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Jerkass
 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_eb8ec7c8
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Jerkass: Dan Kester. Terry remarks that he drove Ev to drink. Probably the only person in the movie who actually likes him is the town hooker, and that's likely because he's a frequent customer.
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 The Giant Spider Invasion / int_f0f03464
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TheSeventies
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The '70s: And HOW. Especially disturbing when Alan Hale Jr. sports a mod haircut, making him look like Gertrude Stein.
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Shown Their Work
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Shown Their Work: Small geodes aren't worth much. Baseball sized geodes value at most $10, usually as low as $4.
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The Giant Spider Invasion

The following is a list of statements referring to the current page from other pages.

 The Giant Spider Invasion
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Actually, I Am Him / int_6835c838
 The Giant Spider Invasion
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Attack of the Town Festival / int_6835c838
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B-Movie / int_6835c838
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Bug Works / int_6835c838
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First Contact Farmer / int_6835c838
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Left Your Lifesaver Behind / int_6835c838
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MockGuffin / int_6835c838
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Our Wormholes Are Different / int_6835c838
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Sci-Fi Horror / int_6835c838
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Stalling the Sip / int_6835c838
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Talking to Plants / int_6835c838
 The Giant Spider Invasion
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Unrealistic Black Hole / int_6835c838
 The Giant Spider Invasion
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Vacation, Dear Boy / int_6835c838
 The Giant Spider Invasion
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We Have Forgotten the Phlebotinum / int_6835c838