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Mister B. Gone

 Mister B. Gone
type
TVTItem
 Mister B. Gone
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Mister B. Gone
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MisterBGone
 Mister B. Gone
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Close this tab, delete your most recent browsing history, and while you're at it, close the browser which you're concurrently reading this.No, really. Close it immediately. Don't look at another word.What are you waiting for? It's for your own good, really, for if you continue to read this article about my humble memoir, Mister B. Gone, penned by one Mr. Clive Barker, you will only get yourself into more and more trouble. Mind-rending, soul-shattering, sanity-obliterating trouble. You'll go utterly mad, forgetting all that you were, all because you kept on reading this page.Who am I? I am your humble servant, Jakabok Botch, and I have been trapped in this state for hundreds of years, having endured such unimaginable pain that you would be better off not finishing this article.If you are the merciful type, you will end my suffering and Close. This. Tab. Immediately. I have experienced so much suffering in my long life that it would be a great relief to me if you didn't bother being within my vicinity.Why must you continue reading? Are you so morbidly curious about this book that you won't perform this one act of kindness without hearing more about it?Oh, very well. I suppose the miserable tale of my long, wretched life must amuse you. But you must promise that when you are done you will delete this page and end my centuries-long torture.Agreed? Good.
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2023-05-11T09:43:33Z
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2023-05-11T09:43:33Z
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Dropped link to HistoricalDomainCharacter: Not a Feature - IGNORE
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Dropped link to TheDivineComedy: Not a Feature - ITEM
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DBTropes
 Mister B. Gone / int_1869b4b1
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Unreliable Narrator
 Mister B. Gone / int_1869b4b1
comment
Unreliable Narrator: Oh, stop your whining. Have you ever met someone who told you the whole truth when they told you a story? I'm a demon. It's rather my job to lie to you. So, having said that, it's your job to figure out what the truth is.
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 Mister B. Gone / int_1c5002bc
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The Stoic
 Mister B. Gone / int_1c5002bc
comment
The Stoic: Pappy G. beat my Ma even harder than he beat me, but she never made a sound. Not even a whimper. I eventually find out that she refused to give him the satisfaction of knowing he'd hurt her.
 Mister B. Gone / int_1c5002bc
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 Mister B. Gone / int_1dfbbf31
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Heterosexual Life-Partners
 Mister B. Gone / int_1dfbbf31
comment
Heterosexual Life-Partners: Quitoon and I become quite close friends during our century of travelling together. Then things get quite a bit more complicated, right at the very end. At least until I was shoved into that horrible press.
 Mister B. Gone / int_1dfbbf31
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 Mister B. Gone / int_1fc8335e
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Deal with the Devil
 Mister B. Gone / int_1fc8335e
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Deal with the Devil: Wanna make one? I can give you anything your heart desires, truly. There's just one little favor you have to do for me.
 Mister B. Gone / int_1fc8335e
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 Mister B. Gone / int_200fbcd8
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Snicket Warning Label
 Mister B. Gone / int_200fbcd8
comment
Snicket Warning Label: Why are you even reading this book? I make a point, time and again, of telling you there's nothing but an endless parade of atrocities in it. Just toss it in the goddamned fire already!
 Mister B. Gone / int_200fbcd8
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 Mister B. Gone / int_24e5adb9
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Beast and Beauty
 Mister B. Gone / int_24e5adb9
comment
Beast and Beauty: My partner Quitoon was always the pretty one. Me? Not so much.
 Mister B. Gone / int_24e5adb9
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 Mister B. Gone / int_27a42ebc
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Spiritual Successor
 Mister B. Gone / int_27a42ebc
comment
Spiritual Successor: While my book is more comedic in tone, you can make a very strong argument that I'm this to Clive Barker's short-story Hell's Event (possibly even in the same universe).
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 Mister B. Gone / int_38f3321
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Compelling Voice
 Mister B. Gone / int_38f3321
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Compelling Voice: I got that from my Ma. I'm very proud of it - but it doesn't work on anyone who's deaf.
 Mister B. Gone / int_38f3321
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 Mister B. Gone / int_3bc88a7f
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Foregone Conclusion
 Mister B. Gone / int_3bc88a7f
comment
Foregone Conclusion: You know I end up trapped in the book. So why do you keep reading?!
 Mister B. Gone / int_3bc88a7f
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 Mister B. Gone / int_3edeeff4
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Son of a Whore
 Mister B. Gone / int_3edeeff4
comment
Son of a Whore: Ma might have been a whore that Pappy G. dragged home, but she was the best thing in my formative years.
 Mister B. Gone / int_3edeeff4
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 Mister B. Gone / int_424d15ad
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Love Hurts
 Mister B. Gone / int_424d15ad
comment
Love Hurts: I loved and lost my first love, Caroline, within hours. Quitoon and I traveled together for a century. As for the "love" part, well, it's complicated...
 Mister B. Gone / int_424d15ad
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 Mister B. Gone / int_42b97a7c
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I'm Having Soul Pains
 Mister B. Gone / int_42b97a7c
comment
I'm Having Soul Pains: A curious property about an angel's sword, really... although the wound was physically not deep, it laid my soul open to the core.
 Mister B. Gone / int_42b97a7c
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 Mister B. Gone / int_4304666a
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Meta Fiction
 Mister B. Gone / int_4304666a
comment
Metafiction: Well, don't you think it was helpful to mention to you the great profit to be earned from telling my story? Clearly Mr. Barker knew.
 Mister B. Gone / int_4304666a
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 Mister B. Gone / int_4ac8b81f
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Humans Are the Real Monsters
 Mister B. Gone / int_4ac8b81f
comment
Humans Are the Real Monsters: Did you think it took a supernatural predilection towards evil to do evil? Hardly. Mortals do well enough at that on their own. The mere existence of Pappy G. should make that clear enough.
 Mister B. Gone / int_4ac8b81f
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 Mister B. Gone / int_50ed1af4
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Our Demons Are Different
 Mister B. Gone / int_50ed1af4
comment
Our Demons Are Different: Oh, did I forget to mention that I'm a demon? Terribly sorry, it must have slipped my mind... I'm not the only sort found in this book, though.
 Mister B. Gone / int_50ed1af4
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 Mister B. Gone / int_5973fab5
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Does Not Like Spam
 Mister B. Gone / int_5973fab5
comment
Does Not Like Spam: Fish. The Nazarene's association makes them generally repulsive to my kind.
 Mister B. Gone / int_5973fab5
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 Mister B. Gone / int_5a208454
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Oubliette
 Mister B. Gone / int_5a208454
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Oubliette: Trapped in my own goddamn memoir. How undignified. On the bright side, I can still communicate with the outside world...
 Mister B. Gone / int_5a208454
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 Mister B. Gone / int_5b1a2f4e
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Ain't Too Proud to Beg
 Mister B. Gone / int_5b1a2f4e
comment
Ain't Too Proud to Beg: Not if it means you'll finally put me out of my misery. Please.
 Mister B. Gone / int_5b1a2f4e
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 Mister B. Gone / int_6a1c2a6
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Cosmic Horror Story
 Mister B. Gone / int_6a1c2a6
comment
Cosmic Horror Story: Even a demon made of words can't quite find the right ones to describe some of this stuff. It won't stop me from trying, though. You asked for it. Then there's the part where my body gets unraveled into words in the first place...
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 Mister B. Gone / int_6e0a57d6
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Like an Old Married Couple
 Mister B. Gone / int_6e0a57d6
comment
Like an Old Married Couple: I can't think of a better way to describe my relationship with Quitoon. Bickering with him was something of a hobby.
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 Mister B. Gone / int_7d3f1d63
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The Ending Changes Everything
 Mister B. Gone / int_7d3f1d63
comment
The Ending Changes Everything: So you couldn't bring yourself to burn the book after all? Well, I suppose I have some good news for you then: had you done that, you would've released me from my prison, I suppose you made the right choice. Say, got any enemies who might enjoy a good read?
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 Mister B. Gone / int_8485d41a
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Interspecies Romance
 Mister B. Gone / int_8485d41a
comment
Interspecies Romance: I do fancy myself a decent kisser, even with my lips burned off, and Caroline was quite a lovely girl until her face got boiled off.
 Mister B. Gone / int_8485d41a
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 Mister B. Gone / int_863fa679
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What Happened to the Mouse?
 Mister B. Gone / int_863fa679
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What Happened to the Mouse?: Don't concern yourself with the mention of my sister toward the beginning. She's of no importance to my story.
 Mister B. Gone / int_863fa679
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 Mister B. Gone / int_898ff050
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Villain Protagonist
 Mister B. Gone / int_898ff050
comment
Villain Protagonist: Who else? One can hardly expect a demon to be anything but a villain. And my, I do get up to some terrible things.
 Mister B. Gone / int_898ff050
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 Mister B. Gone / int_8b13fbc9
type
Inescapable Net
 Mister B. Gone / int_8b13fbc9
comment
Inescapable Net: The means by which I am hauled into the World Above. It was baited with steak and beer. I am, admittedly, a bit ashamed of that, but I did help Pappy G. get out. Too bad he was about two miles above the World Below when the rope snapped...
 Mister B. Gone / int_8b13fbc9
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 Mister B. Gone / int_91697559
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Half the Man He Used to Be
 Mister B. Gone / int_91697559
comment
Half the Man He Used to Be: Remember Cawley? The man who had Pappy G. and I captured in that net? Well, Quitoon's sword made sure that wicked smile of his was evenly split.
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 Mister B. Gone / int_9c1f758a
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Kill It with Fire
 Mister B. Gone / int_9c1f758a
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Kill It with Fire: Demons who can trace their lineage back to the First Fallen often come with nifty special abilities like calling fire.
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 Mister B. Gone / int_9d17b859
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Made of Iron
 Mister B. Gone / int_9d17b859
comment
Made of Iron: We of the Demonation are capable of surviving more stab and burn wounds than your fragile little bodies could. That said, it's still an unpleasantly painful experience.
 Mister B. Gone / int_9d17b859
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 Mister B. Gone / int_9fe35833
type
Even Bad Men Love Their Mamas
 Mister B. Gone / int_9fe35833
comment
Even Bad Men Love Their Mamas: Ma was always watching out for me. She couldn't protect me from Pappy Gatmuss, but I'm grateful for her care.
 Mister B. Gone / int_9fe35833
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 Mister B. Gone / int_a6275bef
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Cool Sword
 Mister B. Gone / int_a6275bef
comment
Cool Sword: Quitoon had such a beautiful blade that showed me the intense physical beauty of the world as I used it, like the black and blue with orange specks of a grown man's cries, as bright as his blood. It also acted on a will of its own to great effect.
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 Mister B. Gone / int_a8a04f6f
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And I Must Scream
 Mister B. Gone / int_a8a04f6f
comment
And I Must Scream: Do you think I enjoy being trapped in a bunch of paper sheets wedged between two covers? And that's only one example.
 Mister B. Gone / int_a8a04f6f
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 Mister B. Gone / int_a9ee4fee
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Secret Diary
 Mister B. Gone / int_a9ee4fee
comment
Secret Diary: I used to keep a collection of notes regarding the tortures I wanted to inflict on my tormentors. Ma made me burn them all so that Pappy wouldn't discover the very large section devoted to him.
 Mister B. Gone / int_a9ee4fee
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 Mister B. Gone / int_abdf7d09
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Weirdness Censor
 Mister B. Gone / int_abdf7d09
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Weirdness Censor: We demons know that paradoxes lurk everywhere... You don't see them because you don't expect them to exist.
 Mister B. Gone / int_abdf7d09
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 Mister B. Gone / int_ac09dc0f
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Alas, Poor Villain
 Mister B. Gone / int_ac09dc0f
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Alas, Poor Villain: Yes, I've committed horrific atrocities over the years, but surely you can have some burning compassion for my current situation?
 Mister B. Gone / int_ac09dc0f
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 Mister B. Gone / int_ace1f7c5
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WorthyAdversary
 Mister B. Gone / int_ace1f7c5
comment
Worthy Adversary: You. If you've made it this far, or if you've finished my book, I have to admit I'm impressed. You've resisted all the cajoling and coercion of Hell. I still hate you, naturally.
 Mister B. Gone / int_ace1f7c5
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 Mister B. Gone / int_b11ac9f5
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Abusive Parents
 Mister B. Gone / int_b11ac9f5
comment
Abusive Parents: Pappy Gatmuss, who would often come home plastered to the gills and beat me until I howled in pain. He beat my Ma, too, but see The Stoic, below.
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 Mister B. Gone / int_bc74ef27
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Berserk Button
 Mister B. Gone / int_bc74ef27
comment
Berserk Button: You can stab me with your blade, but laughing at me and calling me an abomination? Unforgivable. I see you smirking at me, Troper.
 Mister B. Gone / int_bc74ef27
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 Mister B. Gone / int_c4c4a411
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Baddie Flattery
 Mister B. Gone / int_c4c4a411
comment
Baddie Flattery: A flatterer? Moi? Oh, certainly not! Don't be so modest, Troper. I know someone with your steadfast integrity, depthless compassion, and shining intellect is just the sort of person who'd find it in their heart to help me. I can only hope someday a reader's vain enough to fall for this.
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 Mister B. Gone / int_c75df49a
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Shout-Out
 Mister B. Gone / int_c75df49a
comment
Shout-Out: The Divine Comedy: Of course Hell has circles. How do you think we sort out the damned souls of humans?
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 Mister B. Gone / int_cf48c17
type
Nightmare Face
 Mister B. Gone / int_cf48c17
comment
Nightmare Face: Thanks to good old Pappy G leaving me out to bake, most of my face is holes running with mucus.
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 Mister B. Gone / int_dbca2c99
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Red Herring
 Mister B. Gone / int_dbca2c99
comment
Red Herring: May I confess something, Troper? All my comments about letting me out are lies. I'm stuck in the damned book until it's destroyed, not until it's finished. And if you're strong enough to finish it, well, then I have no reason not to be honest with you.
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 Mister B. Gone / int_dda99fa8
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Despair Event Horizon
 Mister B. Gone / int_dda99fa8
comment
Despair Event Horizon: There's nothing quite like being Touched by an Angel (yes, actual angels) and knowing that you will never see the sort of glorious beauty that they represent because you're just not supposed to experience it to make someone like me completely snap.
 Mister B. Gone / int_dda99fa8
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 Mister B. Gone / int_e03533c8
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Blood Bath
 Mister B. Gone / int_e03533c8
comment
Blood Bath: There's nothing like a relaxing bath in a tub of baby blood, although it's a bitch to keep the little critters alive long enough so the bath would be warm when I empty their blood into the tub.
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 Mister B. Gone / int_e0c470a1
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The Fourth Wall Will Not Protect You
 Mister B. Gone / int_e0c470a1
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The Fourth Wall Will Not Protect You: Of course it won't. I can reach out from the pages of this book and snatch your heart from your chest before you can blink.
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The Grotesque
 Mister B. Gone / int_eaf83237
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The Grotesque: Oh, I originally got my good looks from my Ma, but then Pappy left me face-down in a bonfire for a few minutes while he beat the everloving snot out of her...
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Patricide: One of the worst of crimes. But I think you'll agree Pappy G. had that one coming. Luckily, I cut him loose.
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Death Seeker
 Mister B. Gone / int_fff371b4
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Death Seeker: To be honest, I have no idea what will happen to me once my book is burned, but even Cessation of Existence has got to be better than this.
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The following is a list of statements referring to the current page from other pages.

 Mister B. Gone
hasFeature
Ain't Too Proud to Beg / int_3f775faa
 Mister B. Gone
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Briar Patching / int_3f775faa
 Mister B. Gone
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English Literature / int_3f775faa
 Mister B. Gone
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No Fourth Wall / int_3f775faa