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The Eye of Argon

892 statements
174 feature instances
41 referencing feature instances

The Eye of Argon	type	TVTItem
The Eye of Argon	label	The Eye of Argon
The Eye of Argon	page	TheEyeOfArgon
The Eye of Argon	comment	Described as "the worst fantasy novella ever", The Eye of Argon is a story by then 16 year-old Jim Theis. It's the tale of Grignr, a foul-mouthed barbarian warrior who is trying to escape the dungeons of Evil Overlord Agaphim and rescue a young woman named Carthena from a pagan cult who want to sacrifice her to their idol — a statue with one eye called "The Eye of Argon". (A "scarlet emerald", complete with some interesting plumbing.)Published in the fanzine OSFAN 7 in 1970, the story is well known for its abundant cliches, shoddy spelling, flat characters, wooden dialogue and overly colourful writing. Every woman is a "wench", eyes are "emerald orbs". Almost nothing is ever "said" — instead it is "queried" or "ejaculated" or "husked" or "stated whimsicoracally". There's an extended scene involving elderly cult priests groping Carthena, and she is described earlier as a "half-naked harlot... with a lithe, opaque nose". One cult member randomly faints from an epileptic fit in battle, and another suffers a savage, multi-paragraph Groin Attack.The most widely-known and circulated copy of the story comes to an abrupt and unsatisfactory halt, and for many years it was believed that the ending was lost forever (or even, in some quarters, that the story was never completed). Recent years have seen the separate discoveries of two intact copies of the fanzine in which The Eye of Argon debuted, so it is now known how the tale ends. (With multiple exclamation marks, it turns out.)At science fiction conventions, The Eye of Argon is now a sort of parlor game. All participants sit in a circle with a hard copy of the story, and the first one starts reading aloud — pronouncing every word as it's misspelled, and including every adjective. When they finally burst into laughter, the copy is passed to the next person. If a person manages to make it through more than a page, the copy is sometimes passed anyway, on the grounds that the reader must have special training as a news anchor.A nicely-retyped transcription, not perfect but quite a bit better, has long been in circulation, with a transcriber's note apologising for its inability to reproduce the original's equally awful typesetting and illustrations. It is now also possible to view a facsimile copy of the original publication, in all its strangely-set and oddly-illustrated glory. This facsimile does include the lost ending.You can also purchase an authorized print edition.As reading it raw may cause brain damage, you can settle for the MST'd version (by Adam Cadre) which naturally calls out many of the tropes listed here, and it's not hard to find dramatic readings of it on YouTube. It also got the treatment from Let's Drown Out, and a whole season of the podcast 372 Pages We'll Never Get Back reading through it from start to finish. For those who are unable to read it sober, we have the Drinking Game over here. An example of the game can be found here. Geoff Bottone actually wrote a version of the story called Grïgnyr the Ecordian, which aimed to make a compelling version of the story that Theis probably envisioned in his head.Compare Amanda McKittrick Ros, Atlanta Nights and My Immortal.
The Eye of Argon	fetched	2023-08-08T13:15:22Z
The Eye of Argon	parsed	2023-08-08T13:15:22Z
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The Eye of Argon	processingComment	Dropped link to AdaptationalNameChange: Not a Feature - UNKNOWN
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The Eye of Argon	processingComment	Dropped link to Fanservice: Not a Feature - IGNORE
The Eye of Argon	processingComment	Dropped link to HeCleansUpNicely: Not a Feature - UNKNOWN
The Eye of Argon	processingComment	Dropped link to VillainousValor: Not a Feature - UNKNOWN
The Eye of Argon	processingComment	Dropped link to WarriorPrincess: Not a Feature - UNKNOWN
The Eye of Argon	processingComment	Dropped link to WheelOfFortune: Not a Feature - ITEM
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The Eye of Argon / int_121865ac	type	Noble Savage
The Eye of Argon / int_121865ac	comment	Noble Savage: Gringr claims to be one, although by this point in the story he's long since left his native climes, been defeated twice, and gone out of his way to steal a petty bauble:
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The Eye of Argon / int_13a59ce5	type	Kinder and Cleaner
The Eye of Argon / int_13a59ce5	comment	Kinder and Cleaner: Grïgnyr is markedly less vulgar.
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The Eye of Argon / int_1439161f	type	Heroic BSoD
The Eye of Argon / int_1439161f	comment	Heroic BSoD: The abrupt, non-existent ending leaves Crow utterly broken, and the others are forced to leave him behind in the theater. Fortunately, he recovers.
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The Eye of Argon / int_14beeefd	type	Darker and Edgier
The Eye of Argon / int_14beeefd	comment	Darker and Edgier: Possibly just because it's better written, the cult of Argol is much more frightening in this version.
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The Eye of Argon / int_1645005b	type	Evil Versus Evil
The Eye of Argon / int_1645005b	comment	Evil Versus Evil: Carthena claims that the human-sacrificing Cult of Argon is enemies with Agaphim and his oppressive regime, who worship a god called Sargon.
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The Eye of Argon / int_16ddefda	type	Alcohol-Induced Idiocy
The Eye of Argon / int_16ddefda	comment	Alcohol-Induced Idiocy: The narration establishes that the soldier who confronts Grignr in the tavern normally wouldn't have done so, but he was too drunk to realize starting a fight with a huge, well-armed man over a hooker instead of waiting his turn with her wasn't worth the risk.
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The Eye of Argon / int_187bddc1	type	Religion of Evil
The Eye of Argon / int_187bddc1	comment	Religion of Evil: The worshippers of Argon, whose faith seems to consist entirely of performing Human Sacrifices every three months. Gorzom's established religion, the worship of the similiarly-named god Sargon, is implied to be at best only slightly better, and may be merely a Corrupt Church.
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The Eye of Argon / int_18aff462	type	Artistic License â€“ Biology
The Eye of Argon / int_18aff462	comment	Artistic License – Biology: The above situation with the desert trek is averted in this version — Grïgnyr becomes dehydrated and exhausted not long after he enters the desert and only escapes severe sunburn because his skin is covered in dye as a disguise.
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The Eye of Argon / int_18d15922	type	Title Drop
The Eye of Argon / int_18d15922	comment	Title Drop: at the end of chapter 3½.
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The Eye of Argon / int_1b0040c6	type	Not as You Know Them
The Eye of Argon / int_1b0040c6	comment	Not as You Know Them: Grïgnyr, Carthena, Agfand, Agaphim and Broig.
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The Eye of Argon / int_1d2400e9	type	Green-Eyed Monster
The Eye of Argon / int_1d2400e9	comment	Green-Eyed Monster: When Carthena was one of Agaphim's slaves, a man named Doyanta made the mistake of being nice to her. Agaphim, paranoid that the two of them were romantically involved (Carthena claims they weren't, although Grignr isn't convinced), had Doyanta tortured to death.
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The Eye of Argon / int_1e3a9a21	type	Angrish
The Eye of Argon / int_1e3a9a21	comment	Angrish: Prince Agaphim starts to spout "muffled sibilant gibberish" when Grignir calls him a fat idiot.
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The Eye of Argon / int_1e584efa	type	Cruel and Unusual Death
The Eye of Argon / int_1e584efa	comment	Cruel and Unusual Death: Agaphim initially plans to have Grignr tortured to death before Agafnd persaudes him that forcing him to slave away in the mines would be an even worse punishment.
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The Eye of Argon / int_1eb49c19	type	Stripperiffic
The Eye of Argon / int_1eb49c19	comment	Stripperiffic: Both male and female examples exist: Grignr wears a g-string (with folds), while Carthena wears beads.
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The Eye of Argon / int_2059a430	type	The Hedonist
The Eye of Argon / int_2059a430	comment	The Hedonist: Prince Agaphim lives in decadent luxury, and seems to pass the time eating, hanging around with naked women, and getting blazed.
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The Eye of Argon / int_20add53e	type	Kevlard
The Eye of Argon / int_20add53e	comment	Kevlard: Averted with Agaphim, who's hugely fat but whom Carthena kills anticlimactically.
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The Eye of Argon / int_21d70919	type	Crapsack World
The Eye of Argon / int_21d70919	comment	Crapsack World: Everyone and everything is roguish and violent.
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The Eye of Argon / int_22cf536c	type	Chekhov's Gun
The Eye of Argon / int_22cf536c	comment	Chekhov's Gun: While sneaking through the castle, Grigr sets off a Booby Trap, but manages to leap out of the way in time. He then realizes that, if any guards are about, simply seeing that the trap has been activated could tip them off to his whereabouts, so he resets the trap. Later on, the same trap saves Grigr from the last of the Argon cultists, who sets it off while trying to sneak up on him.
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The Eye of Argon / int_23330a99	type	Immediate Self-Contradiction
The Eye of Argon / int_23330a99	comment	Immediate Self-Contradiction: "Cushoning their bare feet were plush red felt slippers" — if you wear footwear on your bare feet, then how are your feet bare? "Knowing where his steps were leading to", Grignr meanders aimlessly around the catacombs. Theis probably forgot to add the word "not".
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The Eye of Argon / int_23473ae7	type	Adaptation Expansion
The Eye of Argon / int_23473ae7	comment	Adaptation Expansion: The story is approximately two to three times longer than the original, making it a short novel rather than a novella.
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The Eye of Argon / int_25b7257f	type	Red Right Hand
The Eye of Argon / int_25b7257f	comment	Red Right Hand: Counsellor Agfand has a misshapen skull in this version, which is presumably based on the atrocious illustration of him in the original.
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The Eye of Argon / int_272b4fce	type	What's Up, King Dude?
The Eye of Argon / int_272b4fce	comment	What's Up, King Dude?: The soldiers take Grignr straight to the city's prince Agaphim when he's arrested, despite the fact that a city of Gorzom's size and apparent wealth would presumably have a judiciary or at least a police force. Even more inexplicably, the king is sitting on his throne, apparently just waiting in case anyone needs to speak with him, even though the scene takes place in the middle of the night.
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The Eye of Argon / int_29718d62	type	Accent Adaptation
The Eye of Argon / int_29718d62	comment	Accent Adaptation: In the original, Grïgnyr's supposed to have a strong "barbarous accent" (though it didn't exactly come up much). Now, he doesn't.
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The Eye of Argon / int_2a015a74	type	Beauty Equals Goodness
The Eye of Argon / int_2a015a74	comment	Beauty Equals Goodness: The prince and shamen [sic] are always described as fat and disgusting, while Grignr and Carthena are usually portrayed as attractive. Grignr is muscular and ruggedly handsome, and it's implied that he cleans up nicely.
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The Eye of Argon / int_2bdae2ae	type	Awesome, but Impractical
The Eye of Argon / int_2bdae2ae	comment	Awesome, but Impractical: The prison guards' gear includes huge, two-handed, double-headed battleaxes (slow to swing and difficult to use effectively in the narrow confines of a tunnel) and half-length cloaks with no discernable purpose other than to give prisoners something to grab if they fight back. Agaphim's personal guards wear chainmail made of gold, one of the softest metals known. In Agaphim's throne room, he sits upon a golden throne set on an ivory floor in a lavishly appointed room, with a naked wench at each arm...and, inexplicably, his advisor Agafnd sits on his back (or possibly behind him, making him a literal case of The Man Behind the Man - the wording is very unclear). Agaphim uses a secret tunnel out of the catacombs under his palace as a torture chamber, so he can gloat over his victims. This also means anyone can walk in or out of the catacombs and kill him with impunity.
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The Eye of Argon / int_2d4a6d8c	type	Sophisticated as Hell
The Eye of Argon / int_2d4a6d8c	comment	Sophisticated as Hell: Grignr has a filthy mouth but is quite verbose.
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The Eye of Argon / int_2da1421	type	Booby Trap
The Eye of Argon / int_2da1421	comment	Booby Trap: Grignr manages to avoid setting one off. It later kills one of the "shamen".
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The Eye of Argon / int_319cc4d7	type	Low Fantasy
The Eye of Argon / int_319cc4d7	comment	Low Fantasy: Set in an Iron Age Crapsack World, where magic exists but is mysterious and little understood.
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The Eye of Argon / int_3346eb29	type	Overdrawn at the Blood Bank
The Eye of Argon / int_3346eb29	comment	Overdrawn at the Blood Bank: At the end of the story, a leech... thing sucks a ridiculous amount of Grignr's blood.
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The Eye of Argon / int_334b7f3a	type	Cryptic Background Reference
The Eye of Argon / int_334b7f3a	comment	"By the surly beard of Mrifk!" See Cryptic Background Reference above.
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The Eye of Argon / int_38aa5782	type	Impossible Hourglass Figure
The Eye of Argon / int_38aa5782	comment	Impossible Hourglass Figure: Carthena is described as both "slender" with a "trim build" and endowed with a "bulging bosom" and "huge outcropping breasts".
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The Eye of Argon / int_3a1c2171	type	The Man Behind the Man
The Eye of Argon / int_3a1c2171	comment	The Man Behind the Man: Agafnd, the prince's loyal advisor, is literally described as sitting behind the throne. Fittingly, he is the real brains of their operation.
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The Eye of Argon / int_3b0bd0ab	type	Thirsty Desert
The Eye of Argon / int_3b0bd0ab	comment	Thirsty Desert: One of these surrounds Gorzom, and makes up a large portion of the Norgolian Empire.
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The Eye of Argon / int_3c0a4666	type	Noodle Incident
The Eye of Argon / int_3c0a4666	comment	Noodle Incident: At the beginning of the story, Grignr has just escaped from the city of Crin, where his behaviour has scandalized the local aristocracy to the point where they have sent mercenaries to kill him. We can only guess what he did to provoke such an extreme reaction.
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The Eye of Argon / int_3ec27f76	type	Costume Porn
The Eye of Argon / int_3ec27f76	comment	Costume Porn: Oh, so very much, coupled with Purple Prose.
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The Eye of Argon / int_3eee0728	type	Captain Obvious
The Eye of Argon / int_3eee0728	comment	Captain Obvious: "The foot-trodden floor." As opposed to what?
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The Eye of Argon / int_3f45f1e6	type	Adaptational Heroism
The Eye of Argon / int_3f45f1e6	comment	Adaptational Heroism: Agaphim.
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The Eye of Argon / int_3fca462c	type	Deus ex Machina
The Eye of Argon / int_3fca462c	comment	Deus ex Machina: Grignr, the barbarian protagonist, is locked in combat with a bunch of cultists. During the fight, one of his opponents just collapses in the middle of the fight from an epileptic "siezure". Downplayed, because Grignr clearly has the upper hand anyway.
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The Eye of Argon / int_403b6f3	type	Fainting
The Eye of Argon / int_403b6f3	comment	Fainting: One of the shamen [sic] faints for no reason, Carthena passes out quite a few times, but Grignr — despite losing a bathtub's-worth of blood and not eating for days on end — never faints.
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The Eye of Argon / int_407d3e6d	type	Morton's Fork
The Eye of Argon / int_407d3e6d	comment	Morton's Fork: Grignr gets annoyed at Carthena's talking, so he tells her to shut up. She does, which only serves to irritate him further.
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The Eye of Argon / int_40cbee83	type	Wretched Hive
The Eye of Argon / int_40cbee83	comment	Wretched Hive: Gorzom appears to be one of these, from the squalid tavern full of prostitutes and cutthroats to the decadent palace of the prince.
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The Eye of Argon / int_4160410d	type	Damsel in Distress
The Eye of Argon / int_4160410d	comment	Damsel in Distress: Carthena gets captured by the Argon cultists for use as a Human Sacrifice, and Grignr has to rescue her.
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The Eye of Argon / int_4192763e	type	Malaproper
The Eye of Argon / int_4192763e	comment	Malaproper: The narrative uses "leashed" to mean both "lashed" and "unleashed" (despite also using "unleashed" in the same paragraph). Characters are described as having "surly" hair/beards at some points, and it's unclear what word Theis is confusing it for (unruly, perhaps?)
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The Eye of Argon / int_43555d33	type	Heroes Prefer Swords
The Eye of Argon / int_43555d33	comment	Heroes Prefer Swords: Grignr prefers a sword but uses an axe just as effectively. Swords are also the preferred weapons of the mercenaries in the opening chapter, the soldiers Grignr fights in the tavern, and the last of the shamans. Nobody uses ranged weapons of any description, unless you count the local peasants who, according to Carthena, regularly hurl "stones and rotting fruits" at Agaphim.
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The Eye of Argon / int_44f79734	type	Jump Physics
The Eye of Argon / int_44f79734	comment	Jump Physics: At one point, Agafnd apparently jumps over Grignr and Agaphim. This is probably not what the author meant by "Agafnd leaped Grignr and his sire", but it's difficult to read it any other way.
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The Eye of Argon / int_465966a3	type	Drop the Hammer
The Eye of Argon / int_465966a3	comment	Drop the Hammer: The "shamen" use a gold mallet as a sacrificial weapon. Being made of gold, it's not much use in an actual fight.
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The Eye of Argon / int_48b9731f	type	Paper-Thin Disguise
The Eye of Argon / int_48b9731f	comment	Paper-Thin Disguise: Carthena, a foreign noblewoman with a very striking and distinctive appearance, makes one of the most moronic decisions in the story: after escaping Agaphim's castle, she "lies low" by prostituting herself in a cheap tavern nearby, not having taken any steps to alter her appearance. Somehow, this boneheaded plan isn't the reason for her eventual capture.
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The Eye of Argon / int_4b1a647f	type	Thud and Blunder
The Eye of Argon / int_4b1a647f	comment	Thud and Blunder: Perhaps the best-known example, and the main reason that that particular style of Sword and Sorcery fiction has such a bad name.
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The Eye of Argon / int_4cacfcc3	type	Honey Trap
The Eye of Argon / int_4cacfcc3	comment	Honey Trap: Carthena claims to have seduced, then murdered, a palace guard.
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The Eye of Argon / int_4de1a4f7	type	Improvised Weapon
The Eye of Argon / int_4de1a4f7	comment	Improvised Weapon: Grïgnyr and Carthena arm themselves with rat bones, as in the original, but this time they use the broken jawbone of a dog-sized rat. Agaphim's Decadent Court defend themselves with pieces of furniture and broken bottles. Agaphim knocks out two cultists with his own throne.
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The Eye of Argon / int_4f4190db	type	Sex in a Shared Room
The Eye of Argon / int_4f4190db	comment	Sex in a Shared Room: When Grignr enters the pub men are gambling, drinking and "making love to willing prostitutes" on the tables.
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The Eye of Argon / int_500ecfb7	type	The Big Guy
The Eye of Argon / int_500ecfb7	comment	The Big Guy: Double subverted. In this version, Grïgnyr is of average size for an Ecordian, but still very strong and a highly skilled warrior.
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The Eye of Argon / int_50b05d30	type	Disproportionate Retribution
The Eye of Argon / int_50b05d30	comment	Disproportionate Retribution: Agaphim, with no knowledge of the murder Grignr has committed, sentences Grignr to a lifetime of slavery for insulting him.
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The Eye of Argon / int_51300dbf	type	Fat Bastard
The Eye of Argon / int_51300dbf	comment	Fat Bastard: Agaphim is thoroughly evil and so unbelievably obese that his body fat appears to act of its own accord.
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The Eye of Argon / int_52aa0c4a	type	The Caligula
The Eye of Argon / int_52aa0c4a	comment	The Caligula: Agaphim is a cruel, hedonistic, thin-skinned sadist who has people like slaves in his mines and responds to his people complaining about his oppressive taxes by taxing them even more heavily, apparently for no other reason than sheer cruelty.
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The Eye of Argon / int_53f5119f	type	The Dragon
The Eye of Argon / int_53f5119f	comment	The Dragon: Broig to Agfand.
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The Eye of Argon / int_54bb502b	type	Nobody Poops
The Eye of Argon / int_54bb502b	comment	Nobody Poops: Grignr's dumped into an empty cell. While it's never stated how long he's in there, he sleeps at least three times and eats at least five times (the author provides a rambling lecture explaining that he can't rely on this to measure time as he doesn't need to sleep or eat as much due to his restricted activity). The guards feed him regularly, but no mention is made of his other biological needs.
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The Eye of Argon / int_54eceae6	type	Magic Is Evil
The Eye of Argon / int_54eceae6	comment	Magic is Evil: Implied and invoked. We're told that Grignr's culture have a strong aversion to all things supernatural, so they definitely think this trope applies. If there is any benign magic in this story's world, it never appears on the page.
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The Eye of Argon / int_556a4e20	type	The Empire
The Eye of Argon / int_556a4e20	comment	The Empire: Gorzom (or Gorzam) is said to be part of The Norgolian Empire, who are presumably pretty bad.
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The Eye of Argon / int_55ec42d7	type	Ye Olde Butcherede Englishe
The Eye of Argon / int_55ec42d7	comment	Ye Olde Butcherede Englishe: "Sayeth the king" would be correct, except that it's the wrong tense — even then, "saith" would be more common in most dialects of Early Modern English. Carthena starts out talking this way, and Grignr does too shortly thereafter, when up 'til that point, he only talked in vulgarities.
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The Eye of Argon / int_580be152	type	Adaptational Modesty
The Eye of Argon / int_580be152	comment	Adaptational Modesty: Rather than a loincloth (or a g-string...), Grïgnyr starts off in random, mismatched clothes suitable for crossing a desert, then buys clothes more appropriate for city life. Carthena wears clothes, rather than nothing, beads or a harness.
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The Eye of Argon / int_5a100b90	type	Puppet King
The Eye of Argon / int_5a100b90	comment	Puppet King: Agaphim is this to Agfand.
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The Eye of Argon / int_5a852047	type	Sliding Scale of Adaptation Modification
The Eye of Argon / int_5a852047	comment	Sliding Scale of Adaptation Modification: Probably a 2, maybe a 3.
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The Eye of Argon / int_5bc1ce14	type	Author Vocabulary Calendar
The Eye of Argon / int_5bc1ce14	comment	Author Vocabulary Calendar: Theis seems to be fond of the word "swiveled" — or, as he misspells it, "swilveled". Also "stygian," "oval," and "opaque". Every lighting source is a "cuppex" or "cresset", too.
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The Eye of Argon / int_5c300c3b	type	The Berserker
The Eye of Argon / int_5c300c3b	comment	The Berserker: Grignr attacks with Unstoppable Rage and wild abandon. The epileptic shaman is "a raving maniac bent soley upon reaking vengeance."
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The Eye of Argon / int_60b97eed	type	Red Hot Masculinity
The Eye of Argon / int_60b97eed	comment	Red Hot Masculinity: The protagonist, Grignr, is a classic Barbarian Hero (i.e. excessively macho and badass) with a "surly [sic] red mane."
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The Eye of Argon / int_61321e1	type	Unusual Chapter Numbers
The Eye of Argon / int_61321e1	comment	Unusual Chapter Numbers: There are two fractional chapters: Chapters 3½ and 7½. The former is the first chapter to break away from Grignr's POV to check in on Carthena and the cultists, while the latter is a brief flashback to the epileptic shaman's awakening.
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The Eye of Argon / int_621bfb77	type	SchrÃ¶dinger's Cast
The Eye of Argon / int_621bfb77	comment	Schrödinger's Cast: Agfand dies twice — by design this time.
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The Eye of Argon / int_626f55cc	type	Said Bookism
The Eye of Argon / int_626f55cc	comment	Said Bookism: Not as much as the original, but some fairly strange ways of talking come up, such as "intoned".
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The Eye of Argon / int_64246a6f	type	Barbarian Longhair
The Eye of Argon / int_64246a6f	comment	Barbarian Longhair: The protagonist, northern barbarian Grignr, has long red hair. It's also described as "robust," but given the author's attitude towards adjectives, that could mean almost anything.
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The Eye of Argon / int_647fab91	type	Title: The Adaptation
The Eye of Argon / int_647fab91	comment	Title: The Adaptation: Grïgnyr of Ecordia: A Retelling of The Eye of Argon.
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The Eye of Argon / int_6627695f	type	Author Appeal
The Eye of Argon / int_6627695f	comment	Author Appeal: Almost every chapter contains at least a mention of breasts. Carthena even speaks "bustily".
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The Eye of Argon / int_669c4caa	type	Produce Pelting
The Eye of Argon / int_669c4caa	comment	Produce Pelting: Agaphim is "often assaulted by hurtling stones and rotting fruits" when he leaves his palace.
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The Eye of Argon / int_67fedd35	type	Bizarrchitecture
The Eye of Argon / int_67fedd35	comment	Bizarrchitecture: Grignr comes across a disused storeroom which inexplicably has a Booby Trap in it. The trap reveals a gap in the floor, which he climbs down, finding himself in a mausoleum. Then, he discovers another Secret Underground Passage in a sarcophagus, which leads down into a sacrificial room.
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The Eye of Argon / int_68068108	type	Evil Laugh
The Eye of Argon / int_68068108	comment	Evil Laugh: Agaphim does this twice: first a "nobly cackle" of "Ha, Ha Ha, Haaa", then later a "Ha-a".
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The Eye of Argon / int_6977c45e	type	Purple Prose
The Eye of Argon / int_6977c45e	comment	Purple Prose: Theis seemed to have an aversion to common words, and had access to a thesaurus. There's wenches and females, but never women, and the sun was "half way through its daily rotation," but it's never noon. He always refers to mounts, but never horses, though it's implied when one of the mounts whinnies. Torches are always cressets and weapons and armour in particular are described with wildly varying and often contradictory nomenclature (basinets, morions, hauberks, cutlasses, poniards, scimitars..). At least the title is concise and looks like a normal title, apart from sharing the name of a noble gas.
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The Eye of Argon / int_6b05b601	type	Jerkass Has a Point
The Eye of Argon / int_6b05b601	comment	Jerkass Has a Point: The intensely unlikable Grignr is astonished the citizens of Gorzom don't depose the incredibly unpopular Prince Agaphim. The story states that they are held in terror of his enormous army, but apparently they feel free to pelt him with garbage even when he's under heavy guard.
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The Eye of Argon / int_6b1caa93	type	Adipose Rex
The Eye of Argon / int_6b1caa93	comment	Adipose Rex: Agaphim, and Jim makes sure we know about it.
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The Eye of Argon / int_6b983bf7	type	Unstoppable Rage
The Eye of Argon / int_6b983bf7	comment	Grignr attacks with Unstoppable Rage and wild abandon.
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The Eye of Argon / int_6bb25af4	type	Gratuitous Rape
The Eye of Argon / int_6bb25af4	comment	Gratuitous Rape: The "shamen" molest Carthena for no apparent reason.
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The Eye of Argon / int_6db06839	type	The Stoner
The Eye of Argon / int_6db06839	comment	The Stoner: The illustration on Page 32 of the facsimile (presumably of Agaphim the evil prince) shows him smoking something that looks like a joint.
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The Eye of Argon / int_7131e4c9	type	Rodents of Unusual Size
The Eye of Argon / int_7131e4c9	comment	Rodents of Unusual Size: The rats in this version are the size of large dogs.
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The Eye of Argon / int_723606c4	type	Adaptational Early Appearance
The Eye of Argon / int_723606c4	comment	Adaptational Early Appearance: Carthena, who spots Grïgnyr on his arrival from Crin. She also introduces herself to him in the inn and they share a long conversation, rather than her just being the "tavern wench" at that point.
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The Eye of Argon / int_72455542	type	Adaptational Intelligence
The Eye of Argon / int_72455542	comment	Adaptational Intelligence: Everyone in the story appears to be of average or better intelligence, whereas in the original they all behaved like blithering idiots.
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The Eye of Argon / int_7286e96d	type	Idiot Ball
The Eye of Argon / int_7286e96d	comment	Idiot Ball: Passed between the characters at blinding speed — just about any time any character opens their mouth, something stupid comes out. More or less everything negative in the story could have been avoided if Grignr didn't try to resolve all conflicts with murder.
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The Eye of Argon / int_72ce3f54	type	Adaptation Relationship Overhaul
The Eye of Argon / int_72ce3f54	comment	Adaptation Relationship Overhaul: Grïgnyr likes and respects Carthena, rather than just finding her sexually attractive. Agfand is manipulating Agaphim so as to rule the city by proxy, rather than just being his evil counsellor.
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The Eye of Argon / int_736d791f	type	Adaptational Badass
The Eye of Argon / int_736d791f	comment	Adaptational Badass: In this version, Grïgnyr is knocked out rather than accepting the uncharacteristic surrender of the original. Agaphim fights back effectively when attacked, rather than rolling over and accepting it.
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The Eye of Argon / int_74ab25a4	type	Secret Underground Passage
The Eye of Argon / int_74ab25a4	comment	Secret Underground Passage: Agaphim's palace seems to be riddled with them.
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The Eye of Argon / int_77063cd7	type	Hooker with a Heart of Gold
The Eye of Argon / int_77063cd7	comment	Hooker with a Heart of Gold: Carthena turns out to be the prostitute who serviced Grignr at the start of the story.
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The Eye of Argon / int_78c895c8	type	Amusing Injuries
The Eye of Argon / int_78c895c8	comment	Amusing Injuries: Double subverted when the head priest gets kicked in the nuts — or rather, between them. Rather than saying something like "With a groan of pain, the priest crumpled to the ground, doubled up over his knees and clutching himself," Theis treats us to a long paragraph giving a blow-by-blow of the priest's bizarre reaction by body part. This is so over-the-top (such as the priest's knees wobbling "rapidly about for a few seconds"), that it comes across like it's being played for comedy, but it's treated seriously in the narrative. However, the hyper-dramatic, exquisitely detailed prose makes the whole situation amusing to imagine.
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The Eye of Argon / int_79503ae9	type	Stout Strength
The Eye of Argon / int_79503ae9	comment	Stout Strength: The fat priest has arms so muscular that they resemble those of an ape.
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The Eye of Argon / int_79eb1e2e	type	Neutral Female
The Eye of Argon / int_79eb1e2e	comment	Neutral Female: Zigzagged with Carthena. She does take an active role in the fight against Agafnd and Agaphim, managing to kill the latter, but during the climactic battle against the ooze monster, she faints immediately.
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The Eye of Argon / int_7ab81664	type	Kick Them While They Are Down
The Eye of Argon / int_7ab81664	comment	Kick Them While They Are Down: Grïgnyr kicks Broig, who's on his hands and knees, full in the face.
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The Eye of Argon / int_7b0fddcd	type	Battle Cry
The Eye of Argon / int_7b0fddcd	comment	Battle Cry: Grignr's is "hoarsely piercing." Usually includes the phrase "by the surly beard of Mrifk!" The epileptic shaman, or possibly Grignr's eardrums, give a "maddened, blood lusting screech" when the shaman attacks Grignr.
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The Eye of Argon / int_7d89315b	type	"The Reason You Suck" Speech
The Eye of Argon / int_7d89315b	comment	"The Reason You Suck" Speech: When addressed by Agaphim, Grignr starts one, pauses to be beaten by a soldier, then resumes.
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The Eye of Argon / int_7e6c0522	type	Off with His Head!
The Eye of Argon / int_7e6c0522	comment	Off with His Head!: Grignr chops off a guard's head when he goes for his sword. Later, he rips the head off a huge rat with his bare hands.
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The Eye of Argon / int_81939da2	type	MockGuffin
The Eye of Argon / int_81939da2	comment	MockGuffin: The Eye itself turns out to be a cursed object that turns into a leech-like monster that Grignr has to kill, making his detour to acquire it All for Nothing.
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The Eye of Argon / int_82a64c4b	type	Adaptational Nice Guy
The Eye of Argon / int_82a64c4b	comment	Adaptational Nice Guy: The Evil Prince Agaphim becomes a weak-willed but generally benevolent character in the thrall of Agfand. Grïgnyr becomes much more likable, relatable and honourable.
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The Eye of Argon / int_834420aa	type	BFS
The Eye of Argon / int_834420aa	comment	BFS: Inverted. Most of the swords described are "a foot of blinding steel", which actually would make them more daggers than swords. Theis might have meant "yard" but there's no way to be sure.
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The Eye of Argon / int_83444b89	type	MST
The Eye of Argon / int_83444b89	comment	MST: One of the classics, written by Adam Cadre in 1996.
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The Eye of Argon / int_83ea0763	type	Rouge Angles of Satin
The Eye of Argon / int_83ea0763	comment	Rouge Angles of Satin: The original version had some atrocious spelling, although less faithful transcriptions sometimes correct these. See any of the quoted passages on this page for examples.
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The Eye of Argon / int_8437cb10	type	Made a Slave
The Eye of Argon / int_8437cb10	comment	Made a Slave: On Agafnd's advice, Agaphim tries to inflict this on Grignr. Carthena claims that she was subject to it too.
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The Eye of Argon / int_85bbb76c	type	Suckiness Is Painful
The Eye of Argon / int_85bbb76c	comment	Whenever there's a mention of somebody suffering a horrific punishment, there will inevitably be a joke about how said punishment is them being forced to read The Eye of Argon.
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The Eye of Argon / int_863fa679	type	What Happened to the Mouse?
The Eye of Argon / int_863fa679	comment	What Happened to the Mouse?: A minor example. When Grignr arrives in Gorzom, he hitches his horse outside the tavern where he gets arrested by the prince's soldiers. He never has a chance to go back and recover his horse. Given that he doesn't seem to have much of a bond with the horse (there's no reference to it having a name or anything), this is believable for his character. By the end of the story, he's found another horse.
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The Eye of Argon / int_8767b1f3	type	Black-and-Gray Morality
The Eye of Argon / int_8767b1f3	comment	Black-and-Gray Morality: As in most Sword and Sorcery fiction, a self-interested Anti-Hero (Grignr) is pitted against an unambigiously evil villain (Agaphim).
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The Eye of Argon / int_92762b69	type	Significant Green-Eyed Redhead
The Eye of Argon / int_92762b69	comment	Significant Green-Eyed Redhead: Grignr, the hero, has flaming red hair and emerald orbs. Carthena, the heroine, is also a redhead, but her eyes are blue.
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The Eye of Argon / int_94e4b975	type	Vomit Indiscretion Shot
The Eye of Argon / int_94e4b975	comment	Vomit Indiscretion Shot:
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The Eye of Argon / int_95265081	type	Leeroy Jenkins
The Eye of Argon / int_95265081	comment	Leeroy Jenkins: Armed with an axe, Grignr charges headlong into a couple of dozen enemies with no plans whatsoever.
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The Eye of Argon / int_970b51b6	type	Adaptational Diversity
The Eye of Argon / int_970b51b6	comment	Adaptational Diversity: Races are established and a non-white character gets a prominent role.
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The Eye of Argon / int_970c790a	type	Big Bad
The Eye of Argon / int_970c790a	comment	Big Bad: Agfand.
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The Eye of Argon / int_9ab2d4a	type	The Blade Always Lands Pointy End In
The Eye of Argon / int_9ab2d4a	comment	The Blade Always Lands Pointy End In: Carthena throws a knife into Grïgnyr's calf, an "almost impossible" throw, to break him out of a trance. Grïgnyr finally kills Agfand with a thrown axe which buries its blade into his chest.
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The Eye of Argon / int_9c1f758a	type	Kill It with Fire
The Eye of Argon / int_9c1f758a	comment	Kill It with Fire: Carthena burns Agaphim to death with a flaming torch.
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The Eye of Argon / int_a188ac4b	type	Overly Long Gag
The Eye of Argon / int_a188ac4b	comment	And more also...
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The Eye of Argon / int_a22c6d89	type	The Evil Prince
The Eye of Argon / int_a22c6d89	comment	The Evil Prince: Agaphim. His response to his subjects complaining about oppressive taxes is to tax them even more oppressively. As prince of a city within an empire, it's ambiguous what his relationship is to the larger imperial regime, or whether he is in line to be king of something grander than Gorzom.
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The Eye of Argon / int_a37008ed	type	Loincloth
The Eye of Argon / int_a37008ed	comment	Given that the gene that produces Grignr's red hair also tends to produce fair skin with a tendency to burn and freckle rather than tan evenly (at least in Caucasians; red hair is not unheard of in parts of central Asia), it's rather surprising that Grignr's skin is "bronzed". Most people, let alone red-headed Europeans, would be somewhere between extremely uncomfortable and nearly dead after traveling across a desert in the blazing sun for at least an entire day wearing only a loincloth, a helmet and sandals, but Grignr suffers no ill effects at all. Granted, combinations of red hair and dark skin can occur naturally in non-European or mixed-race populations, and some redheads can develop so many freckles as to appear tanned after extended sun exposure, but on balance it's unlikely that Theis was thinking about either of these. That said, this is a fantasy story, and the ethnicities of its world don't necessarily map onto those of ours.
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The Eye of Argon / int_a3c0d670	type	Evil Chancellor
The Eye of Argon / int_a3c0d670	comment	Evil Chancellor: Agfand is much more like this. He is manipulating the weak-willed but basically good Prince Agaphim.
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The Eye of Argon / int_a65288e2	type	Ascended Extra
The Eye of Argon / int_a65288e2	comment	Ascended Extra: The "faithless concubine" of the original is now the Sultana of Crin, who gets an entire prologue chapter to herself. Broig, a random soldier in the original, is now captain of the guard. Carthena and Agaphim actually help to drive the story forward rather than being nondescript side characters.
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The Eye of Argon / int_a796d2a6	type	Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy
The Eye of Argon / int_a796d2a6	comment	Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy: One of the two guards sent to drag Grignr from his cell swings an axe at him from behind when Grignr attacks the second guard, Broig. Despite having readied the axe to swing at Grignr, who is facing the other way, not only does the guard somehow miss Grignr entirely, but accidentally kills Broig.
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The Eye of Argon / int_a88f0b93	type	Thong of Shielding
The Eye of Argon / int_a88f0b93	comment	Thong of Shielding: Grignr wears a G-string, which apparently has folds. Theis was probably envisioning a loincloth.
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The Eye of Argon / int_abd29ad8	type	No-Sell
The Eye of Argon / int_abd29ad8	comment	No-Sell: One of the soldiers who arrests Grignr directs him through the streets by prodding him repeatedly with his sword. While he wasn't actually trying to kill or injure Grignr, this would certainly hurt and at least break skin. Grignr doesn't even acknowledge it. Grignr later gets punched in the face and scratched by a soldier but doesn't react one bit.
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The Eye of Argon / int_affa0e5d	type	Bling-Bling-BANG!
The Eye of Argon / int_affa0e5d	comment	Bling-Bling-BANG!: Subverted. Agafnd and Agaphim wield jewel-hilted daggers, while the "shamen" use similarly jewelled scimitars for self-defense and a carved, solid gold mallet as a sacrificial weapon. All of them are totally ineffectual with these weapons, unable to kill or wound anyone, or even mount an effective defense.
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The Eye of Argon / int_affd30b0	type	Stupid Evil
The Eye of Argon / int_affd30b0	comment	Stupid Evil: When Agafnd tells Agaphim that the commoners are complaining of feeling oppressed because they can't afford to pay his ridiculously high taxes, Agaphim decides to teach them a lesson by deliberately oppressing them with yet higher taxes.
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The Eye of Argon / int_b1346878	type	Fate Worse than Death
The Eye of Argon / int_b1346878	comment	Fate Worse than Death: The straight lines from the original story are not left un-riffed. It happens so frequently it's lampshaded.
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The Eye of Argon / int_b1a7cd14	type	Tap on the Head
The Eye of Argon / int_b1a7cd14	comment	Tap on the Head: Grïgnyr takes three in this adaptation: the two in the original, plus one in the tavern scene when he falls over a table and hits his head, knocking himself out. Prince Agaphim gets one in the second throne room scene.
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The Eye of Argon / int_b5049d76	type	Added Alliterative Appeal
The Eye of Argon / int_b5049d76	comment	Added Alliterative Appeal: A nauseating amount. For example, Grignr ducks an axe swing which misses him entirely but ends up severing several scarlet locks from his scalp.
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The Eye of Argon / int_b53077b3	type	Take That!
The Eye of Argon / int_b53077b3	comment	Whenever some loud unpleasant sound is mentioned, it is compared or attributed to Alanis Morissette.
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The Eye of Argon / int_b58b4e3c	type	Too Dumb to Live
The Eye of Argon / int_b58b4e3c	comment	Too Dumb to Live: A literal instance in the case of Doyanta, who flirted with the Evil Overlord Agaphim's wife in front of him.
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The Eye of Argon / int_b76b06ba	type	Xenafication
The Eye of Argon / int_b76b06ba	comment	Xenafication: Carthena goes from a largely passive character (though she does kick an evil priest in the crotch) to a capable warrior in her own right.
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The Eye of Argon / int_bb0c0a4d	type	Fiery Redhead
The Eye of Argon / int_bb0c0a4d	comment	Fiery Redhead: Grignr is our redheaded barbarian hero. His also-redheaded love interest Carthena has her moments of fieriness as well.
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The Eye of Argon / int_bbd319f4	type	Sinister Scimitar
The Eye of Argon / int_bbd319f4	comment	Sinister Scimitar: The cruel soldiers who arrest Grignr in the tavern are equipped with oak-hilted scimitars. The last of the shamans comes after Grignr with a scimitar as well.
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The Eye of Argon / int_bdbfd01c	type	Perfectly Cromulent Word
The Eye of Argon / int_bdbfd01c	comment	Perfectly Cromulent Word: The story is full of beauties. Among others, we have "appilevered", "expugnisively", "nerelady", "protruberating", "scozstic" and "yawkishly".
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The Eye of Argon / int_bfad4265	type	I Have You Now, My Pretty
The Eye of Argon / int_bfad4265	comment	I Have You Now, My Pretty: Carthena in the hands of the very handsy head shaman.
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The Eye of Argon / int_c28692cf	type	Mystical Jade
The Eye of Argon / int_c28692cf	comment	Mystical Jade: The cultists worship a huge jade statue of their god, Argon, with a "scarlet emerald" as the titular eye. It's unclear if the statue itself has mystical powers, or just the eye, though.
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The Eye of Argon / int_c3448a6f	type	Informed Attribute
The Eye of Argon / int_c3448a6f	comment	Informed Attribute: Carthena's intelligence; the author keeps on pointing out how smart she is, but the only evidence of this is her having unexplained knowledge of Grignr's possession of the Eye of Argol.
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The Eye of Argon / int_c4f3a09a	type	Share the Male Pain
The Eye of Argon / int_c4f3a09a	comment	Share the Male Pain: Averted. When the shaman suffers the above-mentioned Groin Attack, he's described as "the ruptured shaman". He collapses and begins rolling around on the floor, bleeding heavily and screaming in pain. The other "shamen" don't seem to react for some time. When they do, they pay no attention to him at all and their only response is to molest Carthena.
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The Eye of Argon / int_c66cb5a9	type	Human Sacrifice
The Eye of Argon / int_c66cb5a9	comment	Human Sacrifice: Grignr rescues Carthena from this fate.
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The Eye of Argon / int_c691d3f4	type	Offscreen Teleportation
The Eye of Argon / int_c691d3f4	comment	Offscreen Teleportation: The rat that attacks Gringr in his cell seems to be an unintentional example. It's stated earlier that the only entrance to the cell is a hatch on the ceiling, and there's nothing indicating the rat burrowed up from the ground, which makes it seem like it just magically appeared.
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The Eye of Argon / int_c75df49a	type	Shout-Out
The Eye of Argon / int_c75df49a	comment	Shout-Out: To Magic: The Gathering: "Tor Giant?"
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The Eye of Argon / int_c81e2bba	type	Necromancer
The Eye of Argon / int_c81e2bba	comment	Necromancer: So that he can still be killed twice in this adaptation, Agfand is brought back to life by the evil cultists.
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The Eye of Argon / int_c95d04f2	type	It Can Think
The Eye of Argon / int_c95d04f2	comment	It Can Think: Subverted when the author feels it necessary to point out that several gargoyles aren't aware of what's going on around them.
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The Eye of Argon / int_c9790040	type	Decadent Court
The Eye of Argon / int_c9790040	comment	Agaphim's Decadent Court defend themselves with pieces of furniture and broken bottles. Agaphim knocks out two cultists with his own throne.
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The Eye of Argon / int_d0309fad	type	Religion is Magic
The Eye of Argon / int_d0309fad	comment	Religion is Magic: All the magic we see in the story is associated with the cult of Argon.
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The Eye of Argon / int_d148b019	type	Mundane Made Awesome
The Eye of Argon / int_d148b019	comment	Mundane Made Awesome: The following describes Grignr's wine being kicked over: He also spends six long sentences describing a guy falling over after being kicked in the crotch.
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The Eye of Argon / int_d397657d	type	Hoist by His Own Petard
The Eye of Argon / int_d397657d	comment	Hoist by His Own Petard: The "shamen" set up booby traps in the catacombs to keep anyone from discovering where they conduct their rites. One of them sets off a trap while pursuing Grignr and Carthena and gets killed by it.
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The Eye of Argon / int_d46bae01	type	Tarot Troubles
The Eye of Argon / int_d46bae01	comment	Tarot Troubles: Tom Servo is reading Crow's future with a pack of Tarot cards he found somewhere. Poor Crow gets nine Deaths and a Tor Giant.
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The Eye of Argon / int_d52d28b6	type	Hypocrite
The Eye of Argon / int_d52d28b6	comment	Hypocrite: Nowhere near as much as in the original, but in this version Grïgnyr claims to despise trickery and states he'd sooner die than live as a liar — but obtained the Eye of Argol by trickery himself.
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The Eye of Argon / int_d53d0080	type	Vampiric Draining
The Eye of Argon / int_d53d0080	comment	Vampiric Draining: The blob at the end sucks blood like a leech.
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The Eye of Argon / int_d5656fbe	type	The Unpronounceable
The Eye of Argon / int_d5656fbe	comment	The Unpronounceable: You try pronouncing "Grignr", "Agafnd" or "Mrifk". This gets particularly amusing when already consonant-heavy words lose their few vowels through typos — the aforementioned Agafnd becomes "Agfnd" at one point. One gets the impression that the author has an irrational dislike of vowels. Dramatic readings sometimes attempt to bypass this by rendering "Grignr" as "Grignir" or "Grignar" and "Agafnd" as either "Agafund" or "Agafnud".
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The Eye of Argon / int_d62dd556	type	The Chessmaster
The Eye of Argon / int_d62dd556	comment	The Chessmaster: Agfand is ruling the city by proxy, by manipulating Agaphim, something the original only loosely implied.
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The Eye of Argon / int_d848560f	type	Unusual Euphemism
The Eye of Argon / int_d848560f	comment	Unusual Euphemism: "Mrifk". In addition, while "slut" is a real word, using it as an insult against men is somewhat antiquated, and that version still doesn't quite work in context as it meant "slovenly person", which isn't really any of the insultees' salient characteristics.
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The Eye of Argon / int_d8df3d27	type	Put the "Laughter" in "Slaughter"
The Eye of Argon / int_d8df3d27	comment	Put the "Laughter" in "Slaughter": After chopping a congregation of "shamen" to pieces, Grignr makes a quip about how his victims now don't need to worry about the Evil Overlord punishing them. He apparently finds this funny.
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The Eye of Argon / int_dae5c997	type	Action Girl
The Eye of Argon / int_dae5c997	comment	Action Girl: Carthena turns out to be a proficient fighter here, earning Grïgnyr's admiration.
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The Eye of Argon / int_de5f028b	type	Barbarian Hero
The Eye of Argon / int_de5f028b	comment	Barbarian Hero: Grignr, a very obvious Captain Ersatz of Conan the Barbarian.
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The Eye of Argon / int_e03a0a7f	type	Bloodlust
The Eye of Argon / int_e03a0a7f	comment	Blood Lust: The sacrificial "alter" is sloped with a slit in the lowest corner, which stands above a pail with chalices arranged around it — presumably the "shamen" intend to drain and drink Carthena's blood as part of their ritual, but it's never explicitly stated.
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The Eye of Argon / int_e069fae8	type	Bad Guy Bar
The Eye of Argon / int_e069fae8	comment	Bad-Guy Bar: In the second chapter, Grignr goes to a Gorzom tavern that is filled with mercenaries, cutthroats, and prostitutes, although being an Anti-Hero, he feels right at home there. The real danger is at the prince's palace.
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The Eye of Argon / int_e0723cbb	type	You Talk Too Much!
The Eye of Argon / int_e0723cbb	comment	You Talk Too Much!: Grignr doesn't say this to Carthena, but he thinks it, even though she doesn't seem to be any more talkative than he is.
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The Eye of Argon / int_e542d889	type	Gorn
The Eye of Argon / int_e542d889	comment	Gorn: Grignr takes a quarter of a chapter to decapitate a rat, and no gory detail is spared. Earlier, Grignr bisects a man in equal detail.
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The Eye of Argon / int_e5d8460d	type	Unexplained Recovery
The Eye of Argon / int_e5d8460d	comment	Unexplained Recovery: Counselor Agafnd is stabbed through the ribs by Grignr in the second chapter, but is up on his feet a few chapters later. We're never explicitly told the earlier wound killed him, so maybe it was supposed to be Only a Flesh Wound, although from the way it's written and the extent of the injury, most readers come out the scene with the understanding that Agafnd is dead. Either way, his recovery is nothing short of miraculous, especially since not much time passed since he was stabbed.
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The Eye of Argon / int_e5e6640b	type	Flanderization
The Eye of Argon / int_e5e6640b	comment	Flanderization: A rapid-fire example. Agaphim's first described as a "short stocky man" with a "chuncky frame". Fair enough. Within paragraphs, he goes from stocky to "paunchy" and "fat", and in a couple more, judging by his blubbery, jelly-like flabs, massively obese.
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The Eye of Argon / int_ea0d06f0	type	Bookcase Passage
The Eye of Argon / int_ea0d06f0	comment	Bookcase Passage: A secret passage out of the palace is opened by twisting a torch bracket and pushing a panel on the wall.
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The Eye of Argon / int_ea2e9f2d	type	No Ending
The Eye of Argon / int_ea2e9f2d	comment	No Ending: The most widely-circulated copy of the story ends abruptly during Grignr's final battle. Some people continue to believe that this is how the original version actually ended.
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The Eye of Argon / int_eaf5a1ac	type	Groin Attack
The Eye of Argon / int_eaf5a1ac	comment	He also spends six long sentences describing a guy falling over after being kicked in the crotch.
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The Eye of Argon / int_ecee5a56	type	A Lady on Each Arm
The Eye of Argon / int_ecee5a56	comment	A Lady on Each Arm: Agaphim is introduced with a naked woman sitting on each arm of his throne.
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The Eye of Argon / int_edf8db61	type	Oh, My Gods!
The Eye of Argon / int_edf8db61	comment	Oh, My Gods!: Grïgnyr's new oath is "By Myrk's hoary beard!"
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The Eye of Argon / int_eeb4a5eb	type	Anti-Climax
The Eye of Argon / int_eeb4a5eb	comment	Anti-Climax: Agaphim, despite being built up as the main villain, is burned alive by Carthena without a fight. He is not even the final challenge of the book. After pages of over-the-top fight scenes, Grignr's final enemy is a mystical leech, the Eye itself, that sucks an absurd amount of blood from his leg only to die when burned with a torch. Downplayed, as it's still the most difficult foe Grignr faces.
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The Eye of Argon / int_f6b30338	type	Murder Is the Best Solution
The Eye of Argon / int_f6b30338	comment	Murder Is the Best Solution: Grignr's standard response to any conflict is to become furious and immediately resort to extreme violence. If he's prevented from immediately doing so, he spends his time planning a way to respond with violence.
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The Eye of Argon / int_f6c3d469	type	Fanservice Extra
The Eye of Argon / int_f6c3d469	comment	Fanservice Extra: The naked women at Agaphim's arms. Neither of them has any dialogue, name, or characterization, and they contribute nothing to the story. They're just there to show Agaphim's decadence.
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The Eye of Argon / int_f9f2c33	type	Running Gag
The Eye of Argon / int_f9f2c33	comment	Running Gag: And anytime the word "slut" is used: And the first few times Grignr's name is mentioned, Tom remarks on the absurdity of his name ("I'd like to buy a vowel!"). Then the others persuade him he's getting tiresome, and he stops. And, also: And also... And also also... There are also repeated references to Clarence Thomas, Bob Dornan and Bob Packwood. And more also... And more also... "You tell me, you're the writer!" after any gratuitous questions in the text of the story. Whenever some loud unpleasant sound is mentioned, it is compared or attributed to Alanis Morissette. After the titular "scarlet emerald" is introduced, mention of something's red color often leads to a remark that it "looks just like an emerald". "This message brought to you by the Booze Council." Whenever there's a mention of somebody suffering a horrific punishment, there will inevitably be a joke about how said punishment is them being forced to read The Eye of Argon.
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The Eye of Argon / int_fa6bfde9	type	Have a Gay Old Time
The Eye of Argon / int_fa6bfde9	comment	Have a Gay Old Time: Grignr is repeatedly described as wearing a "g-string". When describing clothing, this used to refer to a type of loincloth worn by the men of some Native American tribes. Today, however, it almost exclusively (in a clothing context) means an extremely skimpy bottom design used for underwear and swimwear. Worse, he is "naked save for a loin cloth brandishing a long steel broad sword".
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The Eye of Argon / int_fc151e9d	type	Department of Redundancy Department
The Eye of Argon / int_fc151e9d	comment	Department of Redundancy Department: "The Stygian cloud of charcoal ebony", which amounts to "the dark cloud of black black". "All that remained was a dark red blotch upon the face of the earth, blotching things up." Blotches tend to do that.
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The Eye of Argon / int_fe5ed7bf	type	Our Gargoyles Rock
The Eye of Argon / int_fe5ed7bf	comment	Our Gargoyles Rock: The ritual chamber contains "expertly chiseled forms of grotesque gargoyles". As these are statues rather than gargoyles, or even grotesques (sort of a gargoyle without a rainspout), the implication is that in this world gargoyles are a sort of creature and these are statues of said creature. Of course, this isn't explored at all, and it's likely that Theis simply meant that they were monstrous carved faces.
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The Eye of Argon / int_ff16efbf	type	Heroes Want Redheads
The Eye of Argon / int_ff16efbf	comment	Heroes Want Redheads: This may have been the author's intention; Grignr (himself a redhead) falls for Carthena, whose hair is apparently the color of orchids (more of a bright pink than a red).
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