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Ahem

 Ahem
type
FeatureClass
 Ahem
label
Ahem
 Ahem
page
Ahem
 Ahem
comment
The sound of clearing your throat, done deliberately to get attention.
We all get a little forgetful sometimes. When things in a plot get really, really complicated, it gets tough to keep track of all the disparate elements. So while Alice should have the sense to search the room for Bob before she starts badmouthing him, hey, nobody's perfect. As a result, she might need a little help from one of her friends. Let's say a simple cough, maybe a cold, paralyzing glare or just saying 'Ahem' loudly and sharply, just to indicate that Alice should do a double-check to realize Bob's kind of standing right behind you. Shouting "COUGH!" is less subtle but at least you'll be heard.
Who provides the Ahem could be anyone, actually. Bob himself might do it, creating a potentially very embarrassing situation for Alice. The explanation also differs. A character who's too much of a Cloudcuckoolander will need it explained, explicitly, why it is they're saying something stupid, ignorant, and in direct contradiction of the facts. A person of normal intelligence is usually savvy enough to immediately go back over their words and realize what the massive intuitive flaw in their previous statement was.
It can also be used to signal that a word is used euphemistically. As referring to a well-to-do older gentleman and his *ahem* housekeeper; or his nephew keeping company with *ahem* actresses and *ahem* models.
Compare *Cough* Snark *Cough* and "Be Quiet!" Nudge.
 Ahem
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2023-08-03T18:00:15Z
 Ahem
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2023-08-03T18:00:15Z
 Ahem
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Dropped link to BorrowedCatchphrase: Not an Item - FEATURE
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 Ahem
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DBTropes
 Ahem / int_13d88835
type
Ahem
 Ahem / int_13d88835
comment
Cowboy Bebop (2021). In the first episode, Jet is getting information from The Bartender on the man they're looking for. At a certain point in the conversation she gives this trope and rubs her fingers together, indicating that she wants to get paid if Jet wants any further information.
 Ahem / int_13d88835
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1.0
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 Cowboy Bebop (2021)
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Ahem / int_13d88835
 Ahem / int_149ba553
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On an episode of The Mr. Potato Head Show, Mr. Potato Head has turned his house into a reality show, and then manipulated his friends into fighting each other to make things more interesting. When he feels bad about it he holds a meeting to clear things up. He says "ahem" to get their attention, but they're arguing too loud to hear him, so he yells "I SAID A FREAKIN' AHEM!!!" at the top of his lungs.
 Ahem / int_149ba553
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 The Mr. Potato Head Show
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Ahem / int_149ba553
 Ahem / int_20948a39
type
Ahem
 Ahem / int_20948a39
comment
Done a few times throughout Tales of Monkey Island. There is one part in Chapter 5 when, after Guybrush thanks Morgan for opening the Crossroads, she gives out an "ahem", which, in the subtitles, is stated as "*clears throat*".
 Ahem / int_20948a39
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1.0
 Ahem / int_20948a39
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 Tales of Monkey Island (Video Game)
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Ahem / int_20948a39
 Ahem / int_3ddddb25
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 Ahem / int_3ddddb25
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Xiaolin Showdown:
Omi is picked to stay behind from a Shen-Gong-Wu search to watch Dojo:
Omi explicitly states "You know, I'm standing right here."
 Ahem / int_3ddddb25
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 Xiaolin Showdown
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Ahem / int_3ddddb25
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 Ahem / int_3f5f4ea2
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Seen in Austin Powers:
 Ahem / int_3f5f4ea2
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 Ahem / int_3f5f4ea2
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 Austin Powers
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Ahem / int_3f5f4ea2
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The Secret Saturdays: After discovering that his brother-in-law's girlfriend was an employee of one of the villains, Doc says to him:
 Ahem / int_45a29545
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 The Secret Saturdays
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Ahem / int_45a29545
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Discworld:
The "using a word euphemistically" version appears in rather punny fashion in several books. "They call themselves seamstresses, hem hem." The "Seamstresses' Guild" is the Discworld's Band of Brothels.
In Wyrd Sisters, a guard dramatically clears his throat while trying to work up the nerve to arrest Granny Weatherwax, a task he, as a native Lancrastian who knows to fear and respect witches, is highly reluctant to do. Granny suddenly appears behind him and remarks "That's a nasty cough you've got there, you did right in coming to me."
When Colon is listing the various groups using a certain meeting room in Guards! Guards!, he refers to "The Ankh-Morpork Fine Art Appreciation Society, hem hem". Vimes stops him to ask what the "hem hem" was about, and is told that the Fine Art Appreciation Society are a group of men who paint nudes, but some of them don't even have any paint.
In The Science of Discworld, Ponder Stibbons uses this in an attempt to get the senior wizards' attention. All that happens is the Senior Wrangler offers him a cough sweet.
 Ahem / int_468bebb0
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 Discworld
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Ahem / int_468bebb0
 Ahem / int_49ff762
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Ahem
 Ahem / int_49ff762
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Torchwood has this gem in the episode "Sleeper". Particularly amusing considering the punchline comes from snarky but usually private Ianto, and is one of the only times Jack ever looks uncomfortable, particularly regarding the details of his love life.
 Ahem / int_49ff762
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 Torchwood
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Ahem / int_49ff762
 Ahem / int_4f73f7c8
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Ahem
 Ahem / int_4f73f7c8
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DC Retroactive Superman: As Superman is saying goodbye to Lana Lang, who is being carried away by paramedics after an attack on the Daily Planet, he hears a firm "A-hem" behind him. Upon turning around he comes face to face with Lois, who is not happy about Lana exploiting any excuse to flirt with him.
 Ahem / int_4f73f7c8
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1.0
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 DC Retroactive Superman (Comic Book)
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Ahem / int_4f73f7c8
 Ahem / int_4fd9904a
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Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix:
Umbridge: "Hem Hem". Interesting in this case because the points she makes are rarely obvious — often she has to do it a couple of times before anyone will pay attention to her. Partly because it sounds like a cough, partly because none of the teachers will pay attention to her if they can avoid it. This is obviously to her advantage, though; she uses it to slowly kill whatever conversation was taking place and then holds the floor. One teacher (McGonagall) ignores her after multiple coughs and then finally offers her a cough drop.
Ginny does an imitation of Umbridge's cough. In fact, it's such a good imitation that those who heard her freak out at first before they find out it's her and laugh.
 Ahem / int_4fd9904a
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 Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
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Ahem / int_4fd9904a
 Ahem / int_505f1d9f
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 Ahem / int_505f1d9f
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The Plague of the Antibiotic Man: Iris Allen is going to meet with her husband The Flash when she sees him talking to Lois Lane. Feeling a pang of jealousy, she coughs an "A-hem..." right behind them to draw their attention.
 Ahem / int_505f1d9f
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1.0
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 The Plague of the Antibiotic Man (Comic Book)
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Ahem / int_505f1d9f
 Ahem / int_584365d4
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Ahem
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In Melody, MC clears his throat to get Melody's and Sophia's attention during their hello hug, prompting Melody to introduce him to Sophia.
 Ahem / int_584365d4
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 Melody (Visual Novel)
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 Ahem / int_5a3dae52
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Ahem
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From British show Misfits:
 Ahem / int_5a3dae52
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 Misfits
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Ahem / int_5a3dae52
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Ahem
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In The Handbook of Heroes, when Witch catches Antipaladin baby-talking to a puppy.
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 The Handbook of Heroes (Webcomic)
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Ahem / int_5b8491b1
 Ahem / int_61028f2
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Johnny Mnemonic: J-Bone clears his throat when walking in on Johnny and Jane as they begin to get intimate.
 Ahem / int_61028f2
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 Johnny Mnemonic
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Ahem / int_61028f2
 Ahem / int_699c1e80
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Ahem
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She-Hulk: In a short story where the main character argued a case before the supreme court, Titania called her out multiple times, and every call out was relayed to her by a clerk who prefaced the message with an "Ahem".
 Ahem / int_699c1e80
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 She-Hulk (Comic Book)
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Ahem / int_699c1e80
 Ahem / int_6eceb309
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Ahem
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Slice of Life: Twilight Sparkle does one of these when she's trying to get the Cakes' attention.
 Ahem / int_6eceb309
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1.0
 Ahem / int_6eceb309
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 Slice of Life (Blog)
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Ahem / int_6eceb309
 Ahem / int_708ae58b
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Ahem
 Ahem / int_708ae58b
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Dan and Mab's Furry Adventures, Biggs ordered his Dragon, Dee, to "dispose of" Alexsi. Alexsi is Dee's (adopted) daughter.
 Ahem / int_708ae58b
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1.0
 Ahem / int_708ae58b
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 Dan and Mab's Furry Adventures (Webcomic)
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Ahem / int_708ae58b
 Ahem / int_7668653b
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Ahem
 Ahem / int_7668653b
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Mass Effect 3: In the Citadel DLC, your entire team (and Wrex) are going to storm the Citadel archives. However, you can still only have two squad mates with you. So, you are you going to bring?
 Ahem / int_7668653b
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 Ahem / int_7668653b
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 Mass Effect 3 (Video Game)
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Ahem / int_7668653b
 Ahem / int_7c038c18
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Ahem
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Phineas and Ferb: In "Bee Day", Ginger does this to bring Isabella to her senses when she gets lost in "Phineasland" again.
 Ahem / int_7c038c18
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 Ahem / int_7c038c18
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 Phineas and Ferb
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Ahem / int_7c038c18
 Ahem / int_7c48915b
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Ahem
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In Gunnerkrigg Court, Reynardine The Great is caught playing with dolls by Annie, as she comes up behind him with a quiet "Ahem". Here.
 Ahem / int_7c48915b
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1.0
 Ahem / int_7c48915b
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 Gunnerkrigg Court (Webcomic)
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 Ahem / int_7c4f1adb
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Our Miss Brooks: Often done by Mr. Conklin. For example, when Miss Brooks accidentally telephones him in "Wake Up Plan".
 Ahem / int_7c4f1adb
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1.0
 Ahem / int_7c4f1adb
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 Our Miss Brooks (Radio)
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Ahem / int_7c4f1adb
 Ahem / int_7de1376e
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Ahem
 Ahem / int_7de1376e
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In Wyrd Sisters, a guard dramatically clears his throat while trying to work up the nerve to arrest Granny Weatherwax, a task he, as a native Lancrastian who knows to fear and respect witches, is highly reluctant to do. Granny suddenly appears behind him and remarks "That's a nasty cough you've got there, you did right in coming to me."
 Ahem / int_7de1376e
featureApplicability
1.0
 Ahem / int_7de1376e
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1.0
 Wyrd Sisters
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Ahem / int_7de1376e
 Ahem / int_7fd1fd91
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Ahem
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In King Kong (2005), Ann mistook someone for Jack and was babbling about how he didn't fit the stereotype she'd been expecting, when the real Jack snapped his book shut behind her; she turned to see that he was the exact stereotype she'd been describing. Not awkward at all.
 Ahem / int_7fd1fd91
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 King Kong (2005)
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 Ahem / int_880cfa15
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Hogan's Heroes has an episode where Col. Klink goes on vacation to a ski lodge. He ducks repeated phone calls from Gen. Burkhalter and tells the desk clerk about how Burkhalter can't do anything without him, not realizing Burkhalter is standing right behind him.
 Ahem / int_880cfa15
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 Hogan's Heroes
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 Ahem / int_8df5521b
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Superman:
The Plague of the Antibiotic Man: Iris Allen is going to meet with her husband The Flash when she sees him talking to Lois Lane. Feeling a pang of jealousy, she coughs an "A-hem..." right behind them to draw their attention.
DC Retroactive Superman: As Superman is saying goodbye to Lana Lang, who is being carried away by paramedics after an attack on the Daily Planet, he hears a firm "A-hem" behind him. Upon turning around he comes face to face with Lois, who is not happy about Lana exploiting any excuse to flirt with him.
 Ahem / int_8df5521b
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1.0
 Ahem / int_8df5521b
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 Superman (Comic Book)
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Ahem / int_8df5521b
 Ahem / int_9162b86a
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Ahem
 Ahem / int_9162b86a
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In Discworld, Rincewind discovers the dragon's hoard and begins celebrating, saying that the riches are his and no big ugly scaly dragon is going to stop him. A deep "Ahem" and a quick pan of the camera shows the dragon is right there, causing Rincewind to try and backtrack hurriedly.
 Ahem / int_9162b86a
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1.0
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 Discworld (Video Game)
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Shrek: Lord Farquaad has an Evil Laugh as he approaches the torture table that turns into this as the table is still set for someone of normal height.
 Ahem / int_92916f5a
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1.0
 Ahem / int_92916f5a
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 Shrek
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Ahem / int_92916f5a
 Ahem / int_994af351
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Ahem
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Marvin Grossberg from Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney has a signature, exaggerated *Ah-HHHHEM!* from off-screen as one of his catchphrases.
 Ahem / int_994af351
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1.0
 Ahem / int_994af351
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 Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney (Visual Novel)
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Ahem / int_994af351
 Ahem / int_a183d57f
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Averted in Futurama, in the episode "How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back", with Bender going to the rest of the crew about Fry sleeping with Morgan Proctor, and Amy *hem hem*s.
 Ahem / int_a183d57f
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 Futurama
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Ahem / int_a183d57f
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Jeff Goldblum's dad doing this in Independence Day to the President. Multiple times.
 Ahem / int_a40b1126
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 Independence Day
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The original version of The Producers has Leo Bloom doing this while going over Max Bialystock's account. When he actually switches to saying "cough, cough", Max delivers this precious insult:
 Ahem / int_a8ae62a
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1.0
 Ahem / int_a8ae62a
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 The Producers
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Ahem / int_a8ae62a
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The Boy Who Cried Idiot: Huggins clears his throat loudly when Lincoln is about to curse.
 Ahem / int_a9c0ed2c
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1.0
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 The Boy Who Cried Idiot (Fanfic)
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Horatio Hornblower's Verbal Tic, "Ha—h'm", often used to fill the silence when he can't think of quite what to say. While this allows him to build an image as The Stoic, he is thrown off when Barbara Wellesy figures it out and mocks him gently for it. She apologizes for it immediately, however.
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 Horatio Hornblower
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Peanuts: Lampshaded in a strip in which Charlie Brown desperately needs to clear his throat during a baseball game, but he knows that if he does, Lucy will think it's a commentary on the fact that she just struck out. Finally he can't hold out.
 Ahem / int_b2ac2311
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 Peanuts (Comic Strip)
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In Disco Elysium, coughing and throat-clearing appear frequently as part of the game's mostly realistic diction, written "*khm*" rather than "Ahem."
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 Disco Elysium (Video Game)
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SpongeBob SquarePants:
In "Karate Choppers", Mr. Krabs does this to get SpongeBob's attention when he catches him using karate to make sandwiches at a picnic. Hilariously, he says it as "Bluhahe"
In "Krabby Land", one of the kids does this when overhearing Mr. Krabs say that he doesn't care about the children and that he's using them to get money from their parents. Realizing that he's been caught by said children from behind him, he tries to convince them that he has to go to the bank. Considering Mr. Krabs' true intentions, this doesn't end well for him.
In "Krusty Krushers", Mr. Krabs does an actual one to get SpongeBob and Patrick's attention after observing their first failed attempt at fighting their wrestler opponents, which is fake wrestling. This is something Mr. Krabs doesn't approve; he only wants them to win at wrestling so he can get the one million dollar prize.
In "Company Picnic", SpongeBob does this when he overhears Plankton's plan to use his company picnic to get Mr. Krabs and Squidward to work for him, realizing the whole thing was a scam.
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My Little Pony: Equestria Girls – Rainbow Rocks:
Rarity uses the euphemistic version when talking to Sunset Shimmer.fun fact That last part of the line was actually ad-libbed by Tabitha St. Germain.
Also, Twilight Sparkle trying to cover up her crush on Flash:
 Ahem / int_bf6690ba
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 My Little Pony: Equestria Girls – Rainbow Rocks
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The Spy from Team Fortress 2 at the beginning of the "Meet The Spy" Video when the briefcase is found. Followed by "Gentlemen?"
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 Team Fortress 2 (Video Game)
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Gary in Men Behaving Badly series 4, after being dumped by Dorothy:
 Ahem / int_c45abbfb
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 Men Behaving Badly
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In The Legend of Total Drama Island, Chris theatrically clears his throat during the orientation tour when two contestants are talking about something unrelated instead of paying attention. It's one of the first signs of Chris' hammy side.
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 The Legend of Total Drama Island (Fanfic)
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In The Science of Discworld, Ponder Stibbons uses this in an attempt to get the senior wizards' attention. All that happens is the Senior Wrangler offers him a cough sweet.
 Ahem / int_d88c6466
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1.0
 Ahem / int_d88c6466
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 The Science of Discworld
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The Inexplicable Adventures of Bob! has a Starfish Alien named "Ahem," whose name is pronounced like someone clearing his throat.
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 The Inexplicable Adventures of Bob! (Webcomic)
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 Ahem / int_e293455a
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Buffy the Vampire Slayer. In "The Zeppo", Xander is involved in a Trapped by Mountain Lions plot, with The End of the World as We Know It presented as the unimportant B-story. At one point he walks right into the middle of a classic Buffy/Angel melodrama, with mutual Love Confessions and declarations that a Heroic Sacrifice is The Only Way. After making a half-hearted attempt to bring up his own problems Xander leaves, and the romantic music commences again as Buffy and Angel start up exactly where they left off.
 Ahem / int_e293455a
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 Buffy the Vampire Slayer
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type
Ahem
 Ahem / int_f0d516bd
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In the visual novel Lucy ~The Eternity She Wished For~, the titular character is fond of doing this, usually accompanied with a knowing smirk on her face.
 Ahem / int_f0d516bd
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1.0
 Ahem / int_f0d516bd
featureConfidence
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 Lucy ~The Eternity She Wished For~ (Visual Novel)
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Ahem / int_f0d516bd
 Ahem / int_f1e4c0bb
type
Ahem
 Ahem / int_f1e4c0bb
comment
Who Wet My Pants: One of Reuben's friends clears their throat when they notice he wet his pants.
 Ahem / int_f1e4c0bb
featureApplicability
1.0
 Ahem / int_f1e4c0bb
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 Who Wet My Pants
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Ahem / int_f1e4c0bb
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Ahem
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Seen in Friends:
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1.0
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1.0
 Friends
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Ahem / int_f6c05e8e
 Ahem / int_fe5f7909
type
Ahem
 Ahem / int_fe5f7909
comment
When Colon is listing the various groups using a certain meeting room in Guards! Guards!, he refers to "The Ankh-Morpork Fine Art Appreciation Society, hem hem". Vimes stops him to ask what the "hem hem" was about, and is told that the Fine Art Appreciation Society are a group of men who paint nudes, but some of them don't even have any paint.
 Ahem / int_fe5f7909
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 Guards! Guards!
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Ahem / int_fe5f7909

The following is a list of statements referring to the current page from other pages.

 Ahem
processingCategory2
Dialogue
 Slice of Life (Blog) / int_e5400274
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 DC Retroactive Superman (Comic Book) / int_e5400274
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 The Plague of the Antibiotic Man (Comic Book) / int_e5400274
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 The Legend of Total Drama Island (Fanfic) / int_e5400274
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 Déjà Vu / int_e5400274
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 Déjà Vu (2006) / int_e5400274
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 Johnny Mnemonic / int_e5400274
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 The Producers / int_e5400274
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 The Wrecking Crew / int_e5400274
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 Audrey, Wait! / int_e5400274
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 Doctrine of Labyrinths / int_e5400274
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 Dying of the Light / int_e5400274
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 Ph as in Phony / int_e5400274
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 The American Credo / int_e5400274
type
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 The Obvious Factor / int_e5400274
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 Who Wet My Pants / int_e5400274
type
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 Cells at Work! CODE BLACK (Manga) / int_e5400274
type
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 PunkRock
seeAlso
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 reputation (Music) / int_e5400274
type
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 CDT Adventure (Roleplay) / int_e5400274
type
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 Jane Eyre (1973) / int_e5400274
type
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 Men Behaving Badly / int_e5400274
type
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 Pozoriste U Kuci / int_e5400274
type
Ahem
 Chicken Police (Video Game) / int_e5400274
type
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 Disco Elysium (Video Game) / int_e5400274
type
Ahem
 Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery (Video Game) / int_e5400274
type
Ahem
 Puyo Puyo Tetris 2 (Video Game) / int_e5400274
type
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 Tales of Monkey Island (Video Game) / int_e5400274
type
Ahem
 Melody (Visual Novel) / int_e5400274
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Ahem
 Queen of Thieves (Visual Novel) / int_e5400274
type
Ahem
 Inanimate Insanity (Web Animation) / int_e5400274
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Ahem
 Team Fortress 2 (Web Animation) / int_e5400274
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Ahem
 Brows Held High (Web Video) / int_e5400274
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 Adorable Desolation (Webcomic) / int_e5400274
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 The Handbook of Heroes (Webcomic) / int_e5400274
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Ahem
 My Little Pony: Equestria Girls – Rainbow Rocks / int_e5400274
type
Ahem
 Tiny Toon Adventures / int_e5400274
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Ahem