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All Abusers Are Male
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The direct consequence of invoking and applying Females Are More Innocent as an all-time rule is the belief that women have the physical capacity of a kleenex and thus couldn't possibly cause harm to anyone even if they tried. This trope is the result. If you learn about Domestic Abuse, rape, or other forms of interpersonal violence from dramatic works, public service announcements or Very Special Episodes, you may come away believing All Abusers Are Male. Most works that address the seriousness of abuse frame it as something committed only by male perpetrators, usually against female victims. This isn't just when an individual work depicts a male abuser or rapist; this is an aggregate trope that exists through many works depicting male abusers and not female ones, creating the impression that abuse never has female perpetrators. Ongoing series may have multiple episodes depicting abusive men and none with an abusive woman. Some works have male victims, but still have male abusers without female-on-male abuse. Belief in this trope is implied when characters that are anti-rape and anti-violence treat them as male-only problems. This trope is different from Double Standard Rape: Female on Male, Double Standard: Abuse, Female on Male, and Double Standard: Rape, Female on Female. Those tropes acknowledge that women commit acts of domestic violence and acts of rape, but treat them as less harmful and easily forgive or dismiss them based on their gender dynamics. Straight examples must imply or explicitly state that abuse or rape is only perpetrated by men, and women are either never abusive or never to the same extent as men. The most common aversion of this trope is the Wicked Stepmother. Most of the subversions and aversions listed on this page are intended to be a Plot Twist in the story — meaning that even when the trope is not enforced, the writers still expect the audience to believe in it and be surprised when an abuser is female. The possible feminine equivalent of this trope is More Deadly Than the Male. Please avoid Take That! edits due to the nature of this trope. As with all Sexual Harassment and Rape Tropes, No Real Life Examples, Please! noreallife |
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Law & Order: Special Victims Unit: They managed to play this one straight and subvert it at the same in the episode "Ridicule," which presumably was intended as an aesop about how men can be rape victims, too. The episode involves a male stripper who claims he was raped by three vindictive women (one of whom was played by Diane Neal, who went on to play ADA Casey Novak in the same series). Most of the police are sympathetic but also somewhat dubious. Stabler, on the other hand, refuses to believe that it's even possible for a man to be raped by a woman. The woman who orchestrated the rape goes to jail for it at the end of the episode, and it appears that the audience is supposed to believe that it really was a rape. However, the episode unintentionally sends the message that the only way a woman can rape a man is if she decides to jump on him when he happens to have an erection. No one brings up the possibility that there's any way for a woman to violate a man other than initiating vaginal sex without his consent. And it really doesn't help that virtually everyone involved — especially alleged "good guy" Stabler — is at the very least slow to accept this seemingly unheard-of notion that a woman can commit sexual assault (or the notion that men can be victims). Generally the only male abuse victims on the show are children, barely ever adults. Whenever a male victim does show up, they're not exactly treated sympathetically. Female abusers aren't uncommon on the show but usually they're not as harshly judged by the SVU detectives (save the occasional monster). One episode involved a mother who constantly traveled and was slightly unhinged who tried to see her son despite a restraining order from the boy's father. When the boy is kidnapped and eventually dies when the van he's in accidentally drives into a river, it is revealed that the mother had tried to get a mercenary-for-hire to kidnap her son so she could take him with her to another country. However, it is revealed that the boy's father, trying to frame the mother (despite knowing she had violated the restraining order), hired the kidnapper and was thus indirectly responsible for the boy's death. And the mother was given more sympathy even after she had almost fatally shot M.D. Warner (it should be noted that the instances of this trope played straight are often sadly Truth in Television in the real-world criminal justice system). The major problem with SVU is that male abuse victims generally don't get happy endings. Female abusers usually end up as Karma Houdinis or are acquitted, and when that doesn't happen the man either has his entire life ruined, is killed, goes to jail because of the female abuser's manipulation, or takes a back seat to another (female) victim. One notable aversion is a woman, who finds intelligent, rich men, roofies them, then uses an electric prod on their prostate to force an erection, then collects the sperm and impregnates herself. She then claims the guy raped her, and, being roofied, he can't remember either way. In the end, though, she is found guilty, and her child is given to the biological father, who is vindicated. |
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My Name Is Cinder: The eponymous character's mother, Brigit Stark, is incredibly abusive when Cinder finds out about her true nature and tries to expose her. She also attempts to drive her husband to suicide knowing that he has depression, thus being emotionally abusive to him as well. | |
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Shakespeare & Hathaway - Private Investigators has a few episodes dealing with Domestic Abuse. Played straight by "The Promised End", where a wife leads her husband to believe he will be killed because of his abuse. Subverted in "The Fairest Show Means Most Deceit", where the husband is being physically abused by his wife and burned with cigarettes because he's a Crossdresser. | |
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Bones: The episode "The Spark in the Park" starts off with a blink-and-you'll-miss-it aversion. The body shows signs of abuse, and referring to a locket the girl was wearing, Cam tells Brennan "Take a good look at Mom and Dad. One or both could be the abuser." It turns out the "abuse" was actually from long and gruelling gymnastic training. Her mother is dead and her father has no connection to her death. However, later in the episode, a friend of the victim comes in with her parents and has her arm in a sling. Booth immediately and rightly assumes her father is responsible. | |
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When House's team discovers a bloody t-shirt belonging to their six-year-old patient, there's a momentary debate if they should call social services right away and present abuse, and they actually discuss the possibility of it being someone other than her father. Cuddy, however, demands that her father be arrested right away, and shoots down all suspicions with "It's always the dad!" Turns out the little girl isn't even being abused at all. She's menstruating. | |
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Titus featured an episode that dealt with Christopher going to the funeral of an ex-girlfriend, being very secretive about his reasons why, deflecting the truth with the claim she was his true love. He eventually reveals he wanted to get some closure on their relationship because SHE was physically and emotionally abusive to him. The Double Standard is brought up that Christopher was embarrassed about being beaten up by a girl and his father didn't help much (trying to play off his injuries as a drunken accident to the neighbors). The only reason he stayed with her as long as he did was that she would swing from abuse to sex in an instant. This is based on an actual relationship Chris Titus was in, outlined under Stand-Up Comedy. | |
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The Mysteries of Laura: In the episode "The Mystery of the Watery Grave", a woman crashes her car into the river, but the body is not found. By five minutes in, and with no actual evidence, Laura has decided that the husband is abusive and killed her. When the woman turns up alive, Laura's theory is now that the woman staged her own death to get away from her abusive husband. She's right, of course, however at no time does the episode seriously consider any other theory, and the show goes out of its way to break its own standard of the last-minute-twist and reinforce that if you assume the man is abusive, then he is. | |
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DCAU Justice League's Aresia. Men caused her pain in the past, so all men must be evil. Even if the male captain of the destroyed ship she was on as a child saved her life at the cost of his own. Although, she was not aware of this initially. Once she finds out, she merely switches her stance to "All men are evil except for him". | |
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The Flash: While Wally West's father is physically abusive and generally a Hate Sink, his mother is nearly as bad, as she manipulates Wally for her own financial gain and went out of her way to crush his dreams as a child. | |
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The video for John Legend's "Ordinary People" includes a mutually abusive couple. While at one point the man does slap the woman with the back of his hand, she is the one to instigate by being verbally abusive and pushing him. (Not that this is an excuse, mind.) | |
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Confidential Confessions: All abuse, be it physical, emotional or sexual, was committed by a man, while the worst a female character could be was a "mere" bully. | |
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The Harry Potter fandom plays this trope frustratingly straight. Any deconstruction of the happy Weasley family idea will have either Arthur abusing Molly, or Ron abusing Hermione. No one ever worries about the reverse happening, never mind that Molly is clearly the one in charge in the Arthur/Molly relationship and that while Ron has insulted Hermione a couple times and gotten jealous of her boyfriends, Hermione has done the same, as well as conjuring birds to peck him on one occasion and punching him on another. Both played straight and subverted in Origin Story. During a psychological evaluation with Doc Samson, Alexandra Harris reveals that while her father occasionally hit her when she was a kid, "if I counted the number of times he did it on both hands, I'd have fingers left over." Her father was an emotional abuser more than a physical one. It was her mother who was much more likely to physically abuse her. Doc Samson notes that emotional abuse is just as damaging as physical abuse. |
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The Makings of Team CRME overall averts this. Of all the abusers featured in this series, more than half of them are female. My Name Is Cinder: The eponymous character's mother, Brigit Stark, is incredibly abusive when Cinder finds out about her true nature and tries to expose her. She also attempts to drive her husband to suicide knowing that he has depression, thus being emotionally abusive to him as well. The Black Hearts: While Marcus is the main abuser of the Black family by abusing his wife and his son, Melanie is still abusive to Mercury in her own right. More emotionally so, but the narrative does not skirt away from showing that she is still an abuser even though she is being abused herself. And not a Troubled Abuser either since she is as much of a Hate Sink as Marcus is. CRME: Cinder enters a relationship with Emerald to manipulate her and she can be physically abusive to her — such as slapping her when she raises concerns — as well as verbally and emotionally abusive. |
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Lyra in Ruby and Nora uses this trope to her advantage, forcing Pyrrha to tell the police that her father, Orion (who she had just murdered for defending Pyrrha), was the one abusing them. It works. | |
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Kushiel's Legacy: The only characters who are ever openly considered rapists are men and Joscelin is the only person who really considers Melisande abusive. Considering that Melisande drugs and rapes Phedre after getting her family killed, this is pretty absurd. Also, during the entire Drujan incident, all of the really evil characters are male. The women are captives, possibly selfish or bitter, but not worshipers of the god of evil. In general, in these books, women may be devious, ruthless, and order murder to be done, but they never go in For the Evulz. However, in the second trilogy where Imriel is the POV character, he is assaulted by a bear-witch woman. It is made very clear that he considers the act a violation and that his very consensual-sex-oriented gods would intervene or avenge him. |
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In one Whateley story, during what's a private pool party with undertones of an informal recruitment drive, the notional leader of Poe cottage's "lesbian" faction drops the "without men, rape comes to a screeching halt" bombshell at one point. Though, at least two female sexual predators are seen, and another is accused of being one but later shown to be innocent (of that, at least; as Songbird herself said, no one who worked for Freya had clean hands). | |
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King of the Hill: Subverted where Luanne's mother Leanne abused her husband throughout their marriage and eventually went to jail for trying to stab him with a fork. She later begins dating, and eventually abusing, Bill, then comes onto Luanne's boyfriend and attacks him when he rejects her. Played semi-straight in a later episode when Hank is hit on by a female cop. He's portrayed as deeply disturbed by the event, having a very disgusted viewpoint toward sexual misconduct, and quietly hums "Star-Spangled Banner" to himself while she uses a frisking as an excuse to feel his ass. On the one hand, it's unusual for a show to take that stance on the event and show this as a bad thing, but the encounter is also Played for Laughs and could be seen as just another gag coming out of Hank's stick-in-the-mud personality. |
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Total Drama: Alejandro Burromuerto serves as the main villain of World Tour. Being a charismatic, yet deceptive contestant himself, some of his eliminated victims include a collective half of all of that season's official female contestants (when counting the recently added Blaineley). | |
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Torchwood: One episode involves Tosh gaining the ability to read minds. Many of the men (at some point it seems like all) she encounters reveal horribly abusive, nasty thoughts while the women reveal having been victimized by men. She ends up stopping a man from killing his wife and kids. | |
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An aversion of this forms the heart of The Binding of Isaac — Isaac's mother is completely unhinged. Played for extreme Black Comedy. | |
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The Twilight Zone (2019) exaggerates this in "Episode 7: Not All Men". Men and only men will turn into violent, unhinged monsters when influenced by the fragments of a red meteorite. Of all male characters in the episode, only a single token gay man is able to fight it off. No women are shown being violent, and the Plot Twist at the end of the episode reveals that the meteorite never had any supernatural properties at all — it simply gave men an excuse to indulge in their abusive urges. | |
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A Dog of Flanders (1975): Alois' father is strict and treats her harshly in the name of discipline, even barring her from seeing Nello because of their class difference, but her mother is sweet and caring and supports him and Alois' friendship. Patrasche's old owner was also an abusive alcoholic man. | |
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This is basically the premise of the Barney Bunch videos. Every male character from a work (and sometimes even real-life people as well), most prominently Drew Pickles of Rugrats, is depicted here as a sex-crazed maniac. | |
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CRME: Cinder enters a relationship with Emerald to manipulate her and she can be physically abusive to her — such as slapping her when she raises concerns — as well as verbally and emotionally abusive. | |
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A major plot point in Among the Sleep is an aversion of this, as the kid's mother is an abusive alcoholic. However, to the displeasure of many players, the DLC reveals that it's also played straight because the father is abusive towards her. | |
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Impulse: Subverted, as one of Bart's classmates is terrified of disappointing his father and is showing signs of being abused. Bart naturally suspects the father, but it turns out to be the boy's mother, who is mentally imbalanced and is keeping her actions a secret from her husband. As soon as the father discovers this, he intervenes to protect his son; Bart is not needed. | |
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In Touch, Caspar's father, Ray, began hitting him when he was nine, and recently started hitting his mother, Linda, too. However, this trope is Subverted when you find out that they're trying to Invoke his Traumatic Superpower Awakening, and while Ray doesn't like doing it, Linda basically calls him a coward for not hurting them worse. | |
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The original version of The Powerpuff Girls introduces Dick Hardly, who is Professor Utonium's old collegemate. Once Dick himself saw the titular trio and their powers, he has the plan to make a business out of it, aptly named "Powerpuff Girls Xtreme," and it was successful for a while. Keep in mind that his overall business involves duplications of the real Powerpuff Girls themselves, and that he doesn't give any of them with much care like a parent would've, which is evidenced when he has little-to-no worries about their destructions (since he only treats every single one of them as cash cows). The application of this trope on him gets intensified when he tries to extract the Chemical X formula from the real Powerpuff Girls themselves, just so he could further increase the success of his business. |
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Toyed with in A Brother's Price. Gender roles are largely reversed in this world and women are the ones with real power. The fact that some women abuse their husbands is common knowledge; the male viewpoint character actively fears being married to the wrong kind of family and the female viewpoint character, having gotten to know him, is afraid of this prospect. Later in the novel we see the repercussions of an abusive husband running wild on a family, and find that while this happens often enough that there's precedent for what to do - divorcing him and sending him back to his sisters - it just isn't talked about or feared nearly as much as the other kind. | |
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In The Vagina Monologues, a thirteen-year-old girl is assaulted by an adult man, and it’s presented as horrific. But when a woman does the same thing, it’s somehow portrayed as some sick comeback. The protagonist even says "if it was rape, it was a good rape." Author Eve Ensler even admitted that until the horrors of Abu Ghraib she didn’t think that women could possibly be abusers. | |
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Batman: The New 52 Batman very jarringly changed Jonathan Crane's Freudian Excuse from being abused by his fanatically religious great-grandmother to being experimented on by his Mad Scientist father (the father had been previously shown as an ex-military type who abandoned him, with no indication he was a scientist). | |
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With Pearl and Ruby Glowing averts this hard, as there are several female abusers, including female rapists. This is made clear in the very first chapter with Shenzi being Timon's assailant. | |
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Destiny of the Shrine Maiden zig-zags this. Chikane rapes Himeko as a part of her gambit, and she also is sexually harassed by Miyako. But the female abusers are not treated as such or given irredeemable status. The male Orochi who also tries to rape Himeko, however, is actually also treated sympathetically and given a happy ending like everyone else. | |
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The Neanderthal Parallax: Sexual violence is a theme explored heavily in the books, as a result of Mary's rape and its aftermath. While causes are discussed, they focus solely on men. There is not a single mention of the idea that women can also be the perpetrators (nor with domestic abuse, which also comes up), with a biological explanation that could only apply with males given for its occurrence. | |
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Subverted in an episode of NCIS. The marine husband of one of the victims of the week is accused of beating his wife, but it turns out that she was beating him. And she was a North Korean spy. | |
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Averted in the Sex Offender Shuffle, where one of the fictitious sex offenders on the Miami-Dade registry is a woman named Laura Hughes, who was convicted of groping her cousin, "proving girls can do it too." | |
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In the Masters of Horror episode "The Screwfly Solution", this is the plot as a disease causes men's sexual urges to always become violent. Eventually, the human race goes extinct after every woman is murdered. The only man who doesn't succumb to this is gay and medically castrated. | |
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Parodied in Daria, with Ms. Barch, who believes all men are evil and is a militant "feminazi" yet is emotionally abusive and manipulative towards Mr. O'Neill. | |
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Forbidden discusses this trope and connects it to Brother–Sister Incest. Lochan and Maya are a brother and sister who secretly have a completely consensual romantic relationship, and have decided not to have sex yet because they are afraid of being found out. Lochan states that, if they do have sex and someone finds out, everyone will automatically assume he was raping her, due to him being both the guy and about a year older than her, as well as the uncommonness of consensual incestuous relationships. They do end up having sex towards the end of the book and, sure enough, all this happens. | |
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The novel A Thousand Acres is a Setting Update of King Lear set on a farm. It imagines the Lear analogue as an abusive patriarch who has sexually abused his two eldest daughters. Let it be noted that Lear in the play was a senile old man who had been implied to be a respected and benevolent ruler in his youth, and the novel serves to 'justify' the two daughters' wicked deeds by giving them abusive backgrounds. | |
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In Sorority Row, Andy Richards has commited a killing spree (as "the Graduate") mainly to Theta Pi, a sorority who knew about Megan's death. A bit downplayed at first due to his love for his girlfriend Cassidy Tappan, who was once part of that same sorority (especially since his intent was to "purify" her from all of the sins around her), this later became completely straight after she found out about his murderous nature throughout the entire film. | |
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The Black Hearts: While Marcus is the main abuser of the Black family by abusing his wife and his son, Melanie is still abusive to Mercury in her own right. More emotionally so, but the narrative does not skirt away from showing that she is still an abuser even though she is being abused herself. And not a Troubled Abuser either since she is as much of a Hate Sink as Marcus is. | |
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Both played straight and subverted in Origin Story. During a psychological evaluation with Doc Samson, Alexandra Harris reveals that while her father occasionally hit her when she was a kid, "if I counted the number of times he did it on both hands, I'd have fingers left over." Her father was an emotional abuser more than a physical one. It was her mother who was much more likely to physically abuse her. Doc Samson notes that emotional abuse is just as damaging as physical abuse. | |
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Starsky & Hutch: When the cops discover a case of child abuse, they assume it's the kid's hulking father who's responsible; turns out it's the mother who's to blame. | |
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In Sexing the Cherry, Jordan is the only male character who is not a monster or otherwise worthless. The idea that men use women and do not care about them is played to death. | |
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South of Nowhere: Spencer's father discovers that Carmen pushed her while they were dating and seems horrified. Spencer assures him that it is not a big deal and in the end of the series Carmen and Spencer are on relatively good terms, despite their relationship ending over abuse. | |
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Without a Trace: A school councilor assumes a student is being beaten by his father and is tight-lipped about it. To be fair, she was basing her assumption around her own experiences with parental abuse where her father killed her mother when she called him out on it, and eventually the boy opens up to correct her and state that it's his mother who is the abuser. Thankfully the episode is a subversion because both the councilor and the agents respond in the same negative way you'd expect to the mother for this. | |
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Ultimate Sleepwalker: The New Dreams contained a very deliberate subversion of this trope. In the original comics, The Incredible Hulk and his mother Rebecca were violently abused by Bruce Banner's father Brian. In this Alternate Universe Fic, however, little Bruce is instead molested by his mother Rebecca, who violently attacks Brian with a knife whenever he tries to protect his son. This inversion from the comics was deliberately done to highlight how men can be victims of domestic violence too. | |
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The abusive people Bella meets in A Dog's Way Home are all male. After meeting one too many trying to hurt her human peers, she quickly learns that sometimes it's "okay" for a dog to be aggressive towards people if they're protecting someone. The closest female characters to being abusive are all of the neglectful sort, not emotionally or physically abusive, and are more sympathetically portrayed. | |
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Street Justice: The husband of Malloy's friend Lisa in "Self Defense" is a particularly manipulative example, controlling where his wife can go and when, blaming her for angering him enough to hit her, and generally isolating her to the point that she's a Shrinking Violet who flinches at the slightest hint of physical contact. Then there's the father in "Kid Stuff" who, as his adopted son's teacher points out, has a mannerism that frightens the kids in the class, coupled with the fact that the adopted son in question has had bruises corresponding to physical abuse, and also the fact that the dad pushes both his son and the other kids hard when coaching them in basketball and isn't accepting of anything less than perfection. The latter case is revealed to be a subversion, as while the dad's initially suspected of abusing the boy, he's in fact innocent — it's his wife who's hurting the kid. |
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The Dead Zone: In the first season episode "Unreasonable Doubt", Johnny expresses sympathy for a fellow juror who he sees was attacked (probably raped) by a group of men by saying that it's something no man can really understand because they never experienced it (denying both male victims of this, plus female perpetrators). | |
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South Park: In "Miss Teacher Bangs a Boy", Ike is in a sexual relationship with his kindergarten teacher. Also, Ike is three years old. So when Kyle heads down to the police station and tells them about this, they get all gung ho to bring this pedophile down... until Kyle mentions that she is a woman, and attractive. Kyle is disgusted when they start wanting to congratulate Ike. The police eventually arrest the teacher and interrogate her, and react equally inappropriately to the descriptions of her and her twin sister being sexually abused by an uncle. Not so much a double standard as the adults being complete idiots (and, thus, par for the course in this series). Also, Stan and his abusive older sister Shelley. People are only sympathetic to his injuries when they incorrectly believe they come from his parents, though at least it was implied they would have been horrified if it had been his mother doing the abusing. It was still wrong not to have sympathy for him, but there seemed to be a cut-off point for the age it was acceptable for females to abuse males. |
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Bad Black: Black's foster uncle is the one who wanted her out of the house. A boy in the commando's gang said he ran away from home because he was afraid his step-father would beat him. Hirigi beats his wife and also his son, and has kicked both his children out of his house for marrying below their social status. |
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In the series, For Love Nor Money, John Lees, Eamonn's uncle, is a man who sexually exploits his mother, Aoife, in exchange for payments. He is also an unforgiving landlord to his tenants, sending his heavies in a violent response to anyone who fails to pay their rent on time. | |
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In In This World and the Next, Ron the Death Eater is a rapist for no good reason. In the alternate timeline, he gets turned into a girl, which will apparently stop this from happening. The fic stops just short of directly citing this trope. | |
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In A Wrinkle in Time, the Happy Medium shows a vision of Calvin being verbally abused by his father. In the book, the vision was of his mother physically abusing one of his siblings. | |
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Under the helm of Marti Noxon, Buffy the Vampire Slayer tended to drift in this direction. Whenever the show does an episode about domestic violence, the abuser is usually male. | |
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Private Practice: A kid was fat because he wanted one of his parents to stop abusing him. When the doctor finds out, he immediately goes berserk, looks up the father, and punches him in the face. It turns out the molester was the mother, not the father. | |
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Subverted in Divergent. Four's father Marcus was abusive to him but when we meet his mother Evelyn, it turns out she faked her death and abandoned her son too. It's pointed out that she was no better than Marcus, and she spends the entire book trying to win back her son's love. | |
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Family Guy: "Peter-assment" sees Peter being sexually harassed by his female boss Angela, and Lois refuses to take it seriously, insisting that it's impossible for a woman to sexually harass a man because no man would ever turn down sexual advances from a woman. The Double Standard worsens later in the episode when Angela admits her harassment was because she hasn't had sex in a long time. | |
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Millennium Series: One of the series' major running themes is misogyny. It delves into this theme extensively, drawing from the author's journalistic experience. This inevitably hasn't pleased everyone. | |
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Subverted on an episode of Charmed, where the Source uses this trope to nearly have Paige kill an innocent man whose son was being abused. The last time we see the man, he's warning his wife that he won't tolerate her hurting their son anymore. | |
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In Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit, Jeanette Winterson frequently mentions that men are too barbaric/greedy/cruel/selfish/etc to be fit for romantic love. Despite her experience with Mrs. Jewsberry which could arguably be considered rape, she seems to consistently have a higher opinion of women than of men. | |
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Ie Naki Ko Remi: The anime portrays most male parental figures (such as Jérôme Barberin and Gaspard) as abusive dads motivated by Greed, while female parental figures (such as Mrs. Milligan and Anna Barberin) are always kind, caring and ready to adopt children in need. Though Vitalis and Mattia's father defy this, being benevolent fathers to Remi and Mattia respectively. | |
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All Abusers Are Male / int_fcbab08c |
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