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Asbestos-Free Cereal

 Asbestos-Free Cereal
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 Asbestos-Free Cereal
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Asbestos-Free Cereal
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AsbestosFreeCereal
 Asbestos-Free Cereal
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To protect consumers from lies and fraud, governments around the world have laws on the books stating that advertisements must only contain statements which the advertiser can prove are true. You can't advertise a product with a feature, ability, or trait that it demonstrably does not have. You also can't outright claim that you're better than the competition unless you can prove that, too. This is why, for instance, you can't claim that a laundry detergent can help you save money on your taxes if it can't actually do that every time it's used. And you can't claim that your aspirin cures headaches faster than every other aspirin on the market unless you've got evidence to back that up.
As a result, advertising has played with this by using the most literal, mundane sense of the truth in their ads. Advertisers will hype up neutral, insignificant or even negative aspects of their products as though they were positive, using phrases like "real", "100%", "free from" and "pure". The things are all true, but they're not necessarily essential to the product nor related in any way to the benefit you might get from using it. Nevertheless, if you hear them repeated often enough, you'll assume they're good things because you don't know any better.
The ad can imply that competitors' products do not do this because they fail to measure up to the same standards. After all, if this brand of dry cereal proclaims so loudly that it is 100% fat free while the rest are silent, that means other brands are just dripping with lard, right?
To be clear, this trope does not refer to labels that are used mistakenly or fraudulently. It's only Asbestos-Free Cereal if the advertisement is entirely true, but misleading in that the claims it makes are actually insignificant (they apply to all products in that category or just have no bearing on the product's quality at all) or negative (somewhat rarer), repackaged to seem positive and desirable.
The technical term for this kind of statement is a "preemptive claim" and depending on the jurisdiction it may be illegal or subject to certain restrictions, regulations or required disclosures. It's called a preemptive claim because while it's true of most if not all examples of the product type, you claimed it before they could, so if they also make the same claim, they are seen as a copycat. And companies who weren't the first usually don't want to debunk the claim, because they would very much like to make their own preemptive claims in the future without them getting debunked.
Sister tropes are Lite Crème, All-Natural Snake Oil, Absolute Comparative, 20% More Awesome, and the somewhat more malicious Never Needs Sharpening. A form of False Reassurance and Turd Polish. Subtrope of Lying by Omission. Contrast Unfortunate Ingredients. Compare Suspiciously Specific Denial and Adjacent to This Complete Breakfast, as well as Competing Product Potshot. Compare and contrast Wants a Prize for Basic Decency, where a person sees themselves not being a massive Jerkass as some sort of major selling point.
For the cases in which advertisers just flat-out admit the product they're shilling has many flaws, see Our Product Sucks. On the other hand, if we're supposed to believe the cereal no longer contains asbestos, that would be We Don't Suck Anymore.
 Asbestos-Free Cereal
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2024-04-15T04:45:13Z
 Asbestos-Free Cereal
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2024-04-15T04:45:13Z
 Asbestos-Free Cereal
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 Asbestos-Free Cereal
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 Asbestos-Free Cereal
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Asbestos-Free Cereal
 Asbestos-Free Cereal / int_21e1640f
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JonTron: In "Bubsy Collection," JonTron points out that having 1-ups in a game is not a selling point after the box art for Bubsy 3D claimed it was.
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Asbestos-Free Cereal
 Asbestos-Free Cereal / int_261c8d3f
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The Simpsons: Dr. Nick advertises with the line "If I kill you, you don't pay!"
When Homer asks Apu if he has any healthy food for sale, Apu lists "low-salt candy bars," "reduced-fat soda" and beef jerky that's "now nearly rectum-free!"
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 The Simpsons
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Asbestos-Free Cereal / int_261c8d3f
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Asbestos-Free Cereal
 Asbestos-Free Cereal / int_2e16d668
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Dracula the Un-Dead (2009) proudly advertises itself as "the authorized sequel" to the original novel. What this doesn't let on is that Dracula and all its characters and concepts have been in the Public Domain for decades—technically, any story based on it is "authorized", because the authority to prevent such a story from coming out doesn't exist. The actual meaning of the whole idea is that it was written by Bram Stoker's great-grand-nephew, and thus, theoretically, if the rights to Dracula had somehow remained the sole property of the Stoker estate, then this would be the only authorized sequel to Dracula to exist. Which they didn't.
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Asbestos-Free Cereal / int_2e16d668
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Asbestos-Free Cereal
 Asbestos-Free Cereal / int_3226de9f
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Wondermark tries this marketing scheme, with less-than-satisfactory results.
 Asbestos-Free Cereal / int_3226de9f
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1.0
 Asbestos-Free Cereal / int_3226de9f
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 Wondermark (Webcomic)
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Asbestos-Free Cereal / int_3226de9f
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Asbestos-Free Cereal
 Asbestos-Free Cereal / int_33fdae4d
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In the first episode of Mad Men, Don gives Lucky Strike cigarettes the tagline "it's toasted!" which all tobacco is. This was a real Lucky Strike advertising gimmick, though it dates back to 1917, not 1960.
 Asbestos-Free Cereal / int_33fdae4d
featureApplicability
1.0
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 Mad Men
hasFeature
Asbestos-Free Cereal / int_33fdae4d
 Asbestos-Free Cereal / int_34e5ea29
type
Asbestos-Free Cereal
 Asbestos-Free Cereal / int_34e5ea29
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The "Fairsley Difference" sketch on Mr. Show showed a homespun grocery chain, Gibbons, driven to bankruptcy by a competitor's slick ads boasting about horrible conditions the competitor's stores did not suffer from, such as homeless people defecating in the aisles, or customers' children being abducted into homoerotic slavery in Pakistani whorehouses. They never say these things are true of Gibbons, so they aren't actually lying.
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Asbestos-Free Cereal
 Asbestos-Free Cereal / int_3cd90f30
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Gob's banana stand in Arrested Development. "Finally a frozen banana that won't make you sick and kill you!"
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Asbestos-Free Cereal / int_3cd90f30
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Asbestos-Free Cereal
 Asbestos-Free Cereal / int_400469e
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One Calvin and Hobbes strip had Calvin come up with an idea for selling "Calvin's Curative Elixir". When Hobbes pointed out that it was drainage water with leaves in it, he described it as "Fortified With Chlorophyll". This also serves as a Genius Bonus for those who remember that fortifying things with chlorophyll was an actual fad in the 1950s.
 Asbestos-Free Cereal / int_400469e
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 Asbestos-Free Cereal / int_400469e
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 Calvin and Hobbes (Comic Strip)
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Asbestos-Free Cereal / int_400469e
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Asbestos-Free Cereal
 Asbestos-Free Cereal / int_404622d6
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In the Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends episode "Cookie Dough", Bloo gets carried away coming up with rhyming tag-lines for Madame Foster's home-made cookies, and ends up describing them as "The home-made concoction that's free of dioxins!" He then has to explain to the crowd what dioxins are, which he eventually boils down to "They're bad for you!".
 Asbestos-Free Cereal / int_404622d6
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 Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends
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Asbestos-Free Cereal / int_404622d6
 Asbestos-Free Cereal / int_49ad83ee
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Asbestos-Free Cereal
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World of Warcraft: During Brewfest, there is a daily where you are tasked with promoting one of the major breweries. For Alliance players barking for the Barleybrew Brewery, one of the random shouts takes this to its logical conclusion:
 Asbestos-Free Cereal / int_49ad83ee
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 Asbestos-Free Cereal / int_49ad83ee
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Asbestos-Free Cereal / int_49ad83ee
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Asbestos-Free Cereal
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Fat, French and Fabulous is a non-GMO, gluten free Podcast.
 Asbestos-Free Cereal / int_4b76decf
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 Fat, French and Fabulous (Podcast)
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Inverted on The Daily Show, when a pediatrics group advocated against hot dogs, Aasif Mandvi gave "threats" about eating hot dogs, like "Eating hot dogs provides none of your daily fruit intake", "People that eat hot dogs have a 100% chance of dying", and "If you lined up all of the deaths from hot dogs, they would stretch some of the distance to the Sun".
 Asbestos-Free Cereal / int_4d8e5ec
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 The Daily Show
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Asbestos-Free Cereal / int_4d8e5ec
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Asbestos-Free Cereal
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One of the games in Rhythm Heaven Fever, "Packing Pests", has the player packaging "Spider-Free Candy". The packing plant is infested with spiders that you have you have to swat away. This being Rhythm Heaven, it's entirely possible that spider-infested candy is an actual problem here.
 Asbestos-Free Cereal / int_503cf9e4
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1.0
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 Rhythm Heaven (Video Game)
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Asbestos-Free Cereal / int_503cf9e4
 Asbestos-Free Cereal / int_538833a4
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Asbestos-Free Cereal
 Asbestos-Free Cereal / int_538833a4
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In Retail, when a customer asked Alan why a pair of shoes was so expensive, Alan said that it is because they're handmade by cheap labor in sweatshops using only the finest plastics and rubber. When the customer asked for a "real reason", he sighed and said is because they have "vortex channel tube" technology, complete with finger quotes.
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Asbestos-Free Cereal
 Asbestos-Free Cereal / int_6059ad6b
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xkcd:
"Free" is the Trope Namer. It features three cereal boxes, one of which labels itself "Asbestos-free!"
"Voting Machines" lampoons the idea of voting machines using antivirus software by comparing it to a teacher that reassures parents that he always wears a condom while teaching.
"Clinically Studied Ingredient" mocks the titular phrase, specifically how vague it is and how it can mean literally anything. The Alt Text compares the phrase to if a Hollywood studio were to advertise that their new movie was "watched by Roger Ebert".
 Asbestos-Free Cereal / int_6059ad6b
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 xkcd (Webcomic)
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Asbestos-Free Cereal
 Asbestos-Free Cereal / int_60e46d26
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The MAD book Madvertising (Or, Up Madison Avenue) (1972) had some gags promoting a nonexistent product to mock this sort of labeling:
Ron's Only tomato sauce: "Does not contain any linseed oil or shirt starch"
Prull shampoo: "Gets hair extra clean, without drowning roots and causing baldness"
Mr. Chipper cookies: "And no one has ever died from eating our brand!"
S&R trading stamps: "Backed with a special glue that won't give you cancer of the tongue!"
Golf gasoline: "NO WATER to rust your tank! NO MOLASSES to gum up your engine!"
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Asbestos-Free Cereal
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An example of the harmful variation from The Sarah Jane Adventures: "BubbleShock! Contains Bane!"
 Asbestos-Free Cereal / int_65d9acd2
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 The Sarah Jane Adventures
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Asbestos-Free Cereal
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Top Gear: During a series 11 news segment, the team goes over the advertisement for the Citroen Berlingo (one of the cheapest cars on the market at the time). All of the special features listed in the ad are things that are found on pretty much every single car on the market, but the best of them is when it says that the car features "manually adjustable door mirrors".
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 Top Gear (UK)
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Asbestos-Free Cereal / int_6ad790d3
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Asbestos-Free Cereal
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Precocious: Hiram Hu's grocery store advertises its orange juice as being "cruelty-free". (But not durians, a durian is always cruel).
 Asbestos-Free Cereal / int_755cbdcf
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 Precocious / Web Comic
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Asbestos-Free Cereal
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The Goodies: On "It Might as Well Be String" (a spoof of the advertising industry), their ad campaign for Sunbeam Sliced Bread claims that "Nine out of Ten Doctors Agree that people who eat Sunbeam Sliced Bread are less likely to be trampled to death by elephants". Graeme does mention that it was a struggle to find the right nine doctors, however. And the elephants.
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Asbestos-Free Cereal
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The Football Manager series has turned its promotion of the yearly updates by claiming that the game has hundreds of changes. Football Manager 2014 is claimed to have over 1000. Of course, these changes include every single minor bug fix, change in UI, and any scrap of change, even if the change is for the worse.
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 Football Manager (Video Game)
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Asbestos-Free Cereal / int_8827bf0d
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Asbestos-Free Cereal
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On 30 Rock, Liz felt socially responsible because her awesome new jeans had a "Hand made in USA" label. Then Jack corrected her pronunciation, revealing that the jeans were made by the "Hohnd" people, slave laborers in the despotic island nation of "Usa" (pronounced like "Oosa").
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Johnny the Homicidal Maniac showed an ad for a poster of Happy Noodle Boy that was made with non-poisonous ink.
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The fine products and services that sponsor Behind the Bastards' are repeatedly emphasised to not cause whatever horribleness that week's bastard did, including (but not limited to) not killing any children, not starting any brainwashing cults, and not banning the use of the word 'ketchup'. Robert also at one point nearly claims that they are guaranteed to not have been complicit in genocide, before correcting himself to probably not been complicit in genocide in case they are sponsored by any German company active before 1945.
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 Behind the Bastards (Podcast)
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YouTube channel Outside Xbox: the only review show guaranteed not to kidnap you and harvest your organs for sale on the black market!
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Portal 2: Aperture Science shower curtains contain less than 1% mercury. Given that Aperture's other products tend to be radioactive, laden with asbestos, or otherwise harmful, they might actually think this is an achievement worth advertising.
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 Portal 2
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In the Pokémon:
Magikarp is an intentionally terrible Joke Character (Jokémon?). This image◊ extolls its virtues using a lot of this type of logic.
This also shows up in the memetic "Diggersby, tho?!" rant. The narrator praises Diggersby's Huge Power ability, which treats its Attack stat as doubled in combat. Diggersby has a poor Attack stat to begin with, so even with Huge Power it's not outstanding, and the rest of its stats are mediocre at best. Additionally, Huge Power is not unique to Diggersby (it is a Lethal Joke Character due to its ridiculously strong Earthquakes, but it is not some overwhelmingly strong monster).
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Game Theory once said the food company that sponsored one of their videos produced food that was "Radiation free". Then again, the fact that the video that was sponsored was a Fallout video means it was obviously tongue in cheek. Although some food (mostly canned goods) IS disinfected with radiation, although this is quite rare because everyone is scared of radiation.
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Oddworld: Abe's Exoddus gives us a variation, where a marquee advertisement tries to spin a flaw as a positive.:
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Truly bad cards in Magic: The Gathering tend to get two kinds of comments made about them: Blatant Lies claims about their power and Metagame reputation, and meaningless claims about the card's value — Asbestos-Free Cardstock, as it were. Take the Gatherer comments for Chimney Imp, for example. One comment (by user Laguz) reminds us that the five lands you had to tap to cast it untap the next turn with no drawback (which, barring other effects, they always do), it's immune to dying by Deathmark (as is every other black/red/blue nongreen/nonwhite creature), and it implicitly has the ability Rampage: 0 (which is like saying "1+0=1" and treating it like something special about the number one).
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Foxtrot: Eileen's lemonade stand beat out Jason's here by promoting her product as being "not-made-with-iguana-spit".
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1.0
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 FoxTrot (Comic Strip)
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A Prairie Home Companion has segments "sponsored" by "Old Folks at Home Cottage Cheese", which is the only brand of cottage cheese which promises right on the label that it contains no arsenic and no formaldehyde. We're not saying other cottage cheeses do, but isn't it suspicious that they've never come out and said so?
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 A Prairie Home Companion (Radio)
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Sethical:
"boneless pizza" (warning: sensory abuse) is a strange case of someone asking for this specifically and becoming irate when it's suggested that what they want is only made in the way they're specifying.
The same guy has a similar problem in the "bread shop" video. After he mistakes the cashier talking about gluten-free bread for this trope, he blows up at him to wonder why people would put gluten in the bread in the first place, tells the guy to take out the gluten, and refuses to buy any of the already gluten-free options because they're making buying bread too complicated.
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Basic Instructions: This comic pokes fun at The Rolling Stones' song "You Can't Always Get What You Want", for saying "You might find that you get what you need", as implying with the word "might" it's possible you don't even get that either.
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Monty Python's Contractual Obligation Album has the String sketch, where an advertiser is looking for a way to sell 122,000 miles of string... in 3-inch lengths. Among others, the advertiser describes them as pre-sliced, rust-proof, easy to handle, low-calorie, and free from artificial coloring. When he learns they're not waterproof, he switches to water-absorbent.
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Super Size Me 2: Holy Chicken! uncovers this and other terms used by the food industry, down to using them to promote the chicken restaurant Morgan Spurlock created to showcase the ugly truths:
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In Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul, Greg mentions passing by hotels with signs advertising their "Color TV", which, as he says, "is not something to brag about this day and age".
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Ed, Edd n Eddy: After most of an episode of Eddy being hit by multiple terrible things because of a supposedly-cursed phone in "Sorry, Wrong Ed", one of his scams consists of selling rebranded Chunky Puffs cereal that is guaranteed to be "100% curse-free".
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One South Park episode features a commercial for "Weight Gain 4000", a kind of protein shake that boasts "its patented formula is designed to enter the mouth, and go to directly to the stomach where it is distributed to the bloodstream!" Presumably, as opposed to all those foods that don't reach the stomach or get their nutrients in the bloodstream, the two things food is supposed to do.
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Bubs from Homestar Runner sells donuts shipped from a third-world country named Homemáde, so he could legally print "From Homemáde" on the box.
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In The Bob's Burgers Movie, Calvin Fischoeder promotes the Wonder Wharf with a pamphlet reading, "Eighty years of cheap thrills and almost no decapitations."
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The following is a list of statements referring to the current page from other pages.

 Asbestos-Free Cereal
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Advertising Tropes
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