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Completely Off-Topic Report
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A usually Played for Laughs trope, this occurs when a character, usually a student, gives a report (or other written assignment) that has absolutely nothing to do with the assignment given. Reasons for this may vary. Perhaps the character is so attached to a particular subject that they just want to write about this topic and somehow tie it to the original prompt, regardless of how convoluted the relation is. This is a good way for a creator to show off a character's quirk. Or maybe the character discovers a special gift or talent by steering away from the topic. Another commonly used reason is to show that the character has some sort of agenda, so they write something unrelated (or tangentially related) to the assignment as a thinly-veiled attack or call to action. A downplayed version might involve the report or speech going on a tangent (i.e. vaguely related to the assigned prompt). Even then they might drift into a completely different subject, making you wonder how they managed to get there. See also One-Tract Mind, where a character always inserts a specific belief into their speeches and/or writings, no matter how irrelevant. Compare Script Swap and Oh Wait, This Is My Grocery List, where someone didn't mean to make an off-topic report, and may have even made a good report...that's at home, while they're reading their grocery list or other wrong script. Also compare Padding the Paper, with which this sometimes overlaps. |
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In The Simpsons episode "Guess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner?", the first restaurant review Homer submits mostly consists of non-sequiturs and random rambling: In "Das Bus", Bart gives a report on Libya: |
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On one episode of Full House, D.J. gives Kimmy a job writing for their school's newspaper and assigns her to write a story about a school basketball game. Kimmy comes back with an interview with the team's equipment manager. Written on a napkin. | |
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The InBESTigators: In "The Case of the Concert Catastrophe", Maudie becomes obsessed with the girl group The January Valentines: | |
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Hailey's On It!: "Splatter of the Bands" is presented as a rockumentary filmed by Kristine about Hailey’s performance in the local music festival. At the end, it’s revealed that she was supposed to be doing a report on the solar system — which she justifies by explaining that all of this took place in the solar system. | |
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Community: In "Spanish 101", Jeff and Pierce are assigned a simple presentation in Spanish class, needing to only exchange five phrases in conversational Spanish. Pierce goes way overboard, delivering a presentation that has multiple costumes, props, pyrotechnics (sparklers), and even has an audience participant (Annie) at one point. However, they did fail to include the actual five phrases needed to get a passing grade. | |
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Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes usually manages to produce incredibly half-assed on-topic reports, but the time he was supposed to write about overpopulation and wrote a story about Susie getting eaten by dinosaurs ending with "...at least, that's how it ought to be" was rather a stretch (though he did tie it to the topic by citing it as an example of natural selection culling "the weak and stupid"). He also had a show and tell where he refused to show the thing or tell anything about it. | |
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In Mean Girls, Gretchen reads a report in class about Julius Caesar, specifically the murder scene, which is a very thinly veiled attack against Regina's tyrannous behavior and has fairly little to do with the actual plot. Ironically, Gretchen's rant still manages to capture the motivations for Julius Caesar's murder quite accurately. | |
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X-Men: Evolution: Spike was supposed to write a report on the Strategic Defense Initiative "Star Wars program", but he wasn't paying attention and turned in a report about Star Wars instead. | |
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In Evolution, Professor Kane is pleased to report most people in his biology class got As on their research papers, only for the Deke and Danny to complain that they got C-: | |
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How to Kill a Mockingbird centers entirely on one of these, becoming an increasingly absurd and actionized telling of To Kill a Mockingbird, as presented by someone who only read the first chapter. | |
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Kenan & Kel has the police line up everyone, Kenan and Kel included, to give their accounts of how a robber wound up knocked out in the convenience store they work at. Kel's recounting solely revolves aorund his inability to open a giant bottle of orange soda that begs him to open it. | |
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Best of Three: Helen, out of her distaste for AP English, refused to read a single word of Anna Karenina. Her essay was about a completely different book, and during class discussions, she just said whatever popped into her head. Her teacher never noticed a difference. | |
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One issue of MAD had a section on what superheroes were like in school. For Captain America, it shows him making a detailed report on the American Revolution. The teacher says "Very good, Steven, but this is math class". | |
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Crabgrass: In this comic, rather than giving the book report he was supposed to give, Kevin gives a report of why he thinks velco straps are superior to shoelaces. When questioned by the teacher if he even read the book the report was supposed to be about, Kevin admits he spend his weekend playing video games. | |
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Clarence turns a report on "why Rough Riders Chicken is my favorite food" into a wild romp about evil alien chickens taking over the school. | |
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In the Stargate SG-1 episode "Prodigy", Samantha Carter gives a guest lecture at the Air Force Academy and meets Cadet Jennifer Hailey, a brilliant but bored student who once ignored the assignment in favor of a paper titled "Towards a New Cosmology of Multiple Realities". The paper was brilliant, but she got a "D" because that wasn't the topic. Sam ends up recruiting her into Stargate Command. | |
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Original Life: One story arc parodying The Metamorphosis turns out to actually be a book report written by Tom. The strip revealing this ends with his teacher telling him he was supposed to do a report on Beholding Bee. | |
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In the Arthur episode "Buster's Growing Grudge", Buster is frustrated that Binky told one of Buster's jokes while presenting his report on Christopher Columbus and seemingly got a good grade for it while Buster receives a D for his report about King Tut. Near the end of the episode, there's this exchange between Buster and Arthur. | |
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Sandra and Woo: In this strip. | |
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In a flashback scene in Sengoku Youko, the normally stoic Jinun went for a monster-hunting assignment. His report is instead about how cute the girl he met in the village is, and the part with the monster is simply "I defeated it". His colleagues are dumbfounded since he's usually a serious, no-nonsense person. | |
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In Smithson, evidence that Gemma is a Genius Ditz comes when, after weeks of avoiding her astronomy classes, she casually solves Newell's conjecture, when she was asked to write an essay about lunar eclipses. | |
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In Parents of Ponyville, young Dinky Doo is obsessed with romance and finds ways to shoehorn it into all of her schoolwork. The one example mentioned in the story was her assigned history report, which she used as an excuse to write a ship-fic about historical figures. | |
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In the Champions supplement "Bad News for Doctor Drugs" one of the suggested player characters has an obsession with Genghis Khan and makes all of his reports about that subject, no matter what the homework assignment subject was. | |
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Back to the Future: One episode had the protagonists go back to the American Civil War because Marty had to do a report on it. At the end of the episode, Doc Brown tells the audience that Marty failed because the report was supposed to be on the Spanish Civil War, and says that that's what you get for wearing headphones in class. | |
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Recess: In one episode, Gus was trying to go to school without his glasses, because he thought it made him seem cooler. One of the consequences of his impaired eyesight, however, was that he read his assignment wrong and wrote a report on "green mints" instead of Greek myths. | |
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In one of the Animorphs novels, Marco is required to do a book report on The Lord of the Rings, and does so horribly that it was obvious he didn't actually read the book. | |
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Done seriously in The Wind Singer. Aramanth has a series of mandatory tests by which families gain or lose status. Most of the Gray applicants (the lowest class) have failed the rigidly standardized tests many times and expect to fail again, so Mr. Hath convinces them to ignore the questions and just write about what they do know (and in many cases are unsung experts on). | |
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In His and Her Circumstances Aya Sawada's writing skill was discovered when she wrote a story that had nothing to do with the assigned report. | |
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It happens in The Official Fanfiction University Of Middle-earth when Lina's roommate mistakes Lina's list of random elven-sounding names for her "How To Conquer Middle-Earth" essay and gets it delivered to Sauron. Fortunately, the Dark Lord believed that it was a kill list. | |
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Clueless when a report about the Haitians (which is mis-pronounced Hait-i-ans) goes a little off-topic: | |
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Gilda Radner had two characters on Saturday Night Live for whom this was their entire schtick, both commentators on "Weekend News Update". One was Emily Litella, who, being hard of hearing as well as a bit naïve, always misunderstood the topic she was supposed to be speaking about (too much violence on television, for instance) and ends up discussing a different topic (too much violins on television). When told of her mistake, she would then drop the topic entirely, ending with her catchphrase "Never mind." The other character, Roseanne Roseannadana, would always veer from the original subject and into some embarrassing, graphically disgusting personal anecdote. When told what that had to do with the original topic, she responded with her own catchphrase, "It's always something." | |
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In the Peanuts stage play and animated special You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown, the kids have to write a report on The Tale of Peter Rabbit. Schroeder writes about Robin Hood, valiantly attempting to tie it into Peter Rabbit in the final line. | |
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Foxtrot: Jason once had to do an oral presentation on Old Yeller. He ended up spending a huge amount of time on a visually impressive multimedia presentation. When he finished his teacher had only one question: "Did you actually read the book?" He still doesn't understand why she flunked him. | |
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The girls in Heavenly Creatures are assigned to write an essay on the British Royal Family. Juliet instead writes one on the royal family of Borovnia, the fantasy realm she and Pauline created. Pauline comes to her defense by pointing out the assignment never specified which royals. | |
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In Welcome to Night Vale, Cecil tends to get off-topic rather easily during his reports, especially when talking about his beloved Carlos. | |
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Doctor Who: In "Oxygen", the Doctor delivers a lecture on all the ways that space can kill you to a packed lecture theatre. It was supposed to be on crop rotation. In "The Pilot", his companion Bill mentions that he does this almost every lecture, and the university doesn't care. | |
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Nate of Big Nate has had a lot of these. Once he was supposed to write a report on Paul Revere, and instead writes it on Paul Revere from the band "Paul Revere and the Raiders". Another time, he was supposed to do a report on the Ming Dynasty and he ends up making it about the basketball player Yao Ming. | |
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In Codename: Kids Next Door, "Operation A.R.C.H.I.V.E.", the episode as a whole is presented as a widescreened history of kids and adults, narrated by Numbuh 1. Towards the end of the story, Numbuh 1's teacher interrupts and scolds him, revealing this story to be just an oral report, saying that the report had nothing to do with the signing of the Declaration of Independence. | |
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South Park: In "Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride", the audience hears the conclusion of a report Cartman is making to the class: | |
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Downplayed, but serious, variant in Harry Potter and the Underground's Saviour. Frisk takes exception to writing a report about killing werewolves and writes about their humanity instead. Snape is not pleased. | |
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Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince: When the regular Quidditch commentator is unable to report on a match, Luna Lovegood volunteers to replace him. During the match she talks about things like interesting clouds and whether one of the players suffers from something called "Loser's Lurgy", but never about the action or the score of the game. | |
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In a Star Trek: The Next Generation episode, Picard tells about a speaker at a conference who went on at length about some engineering topic "not realizing that the topic was supposed to be psychology." | |
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