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Dirty Old Monk
- 349 statements
- 65 feature instances
- 42 referencing feature instances
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A holy man, or a man pretending to be one,note it is often hard to tell an ordained hypocrite from a shameless impostor who, despite being ostensibly above such worldly desires, is one of the most perverted members of the cast, far more lecherous than any layperson. He's constantly eyeing up and making passes at girls, and often has a sizable stash of skin mags or other pornography. The depiction of such characters varies widely between Western and Eastern works; while manga and anime will often play it for laughs with Buddhist (or pseudo-Buddhist) monk/priest characters, Western works will usually portray such characters as depraved, hypocritical, and often outright predatory (cf. Pedophile Priest). It isn't that the Europe doesn't have its share of comedic holy lechers though, especially with older works when such humor was easier to stomach. This is quite an old trope; in Europe, at least, the depravity, greed, and gluttony of monks have been a common theme of both angry screeds and popular jokes and comic literature going back to The Middle Ages. Not every religion requires its priests (or the equivalent) to be celibate, with some actively encouraging them to marry and have children, and a few (notably Islam) even forbid vows of celibacy. Though it is an inherent aspect of monasticism, so for actual monks to be seeking sexual pleasure will always fit this trope. Subtrope of Nun Too Holy. May overlap with Sexy Priest, in which case it's the Spear Counterpart to Naughty Nuns. Mostly overlaps with Dirty Old Man and Woman. Examples |
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| Dirty Old Monk / int_13ed9c3f | type |
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In Malevil, the main character recalls his childhood priest. The Abbè Lebas is completely uninterested in the non-sexual confessions of the pre-teen boys and dismisses them with an impatient "Yes, yes. What else?". However, he wants every detail of any dirty thought or sexual action the boys might have to confess. | |
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Averted for the most part in Brother Cadfael, where monks who do have sexual thoughts about women strive to avoid temptation rather than giving in: Two monks have fathered children (one of them being Cadfael himself), but in both cases, it was before they joined the monastery (and in the second's case, he thought both girl and child had died (a thought encouraged by her mother since she had the hots for him) and waited until he thought he was dying to confess). One brother has a particularly bad case of It's All My Fault after a nun is found raped and murdered. It turns out that he couldn't bear being so close to a sleeping young woman, so that he'd gone outside to stop the thoughts, leaving her defenseless against the criminal. An adolescent charged with bringing a young widow a rose every year as rent asks to be relieved of this duty as he'd fallen in love with her and can't bear the idea of only seeing him once a year. His problem is solved when he's found dead. |
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One sidequest in Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning has the Fateless One searching all of Amalur for an old monk's collection of ribald literature. | |
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Played with in the European comic book series Soda. One book has a (male) small-time criminal who dresses up as a nun for disguise. Of course, Soda himself is a rare male example (and subversion), since he dresses up as a priest to fool his old mother into thinking he is one and not a gun-toting cop. | |
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In Anazapta, Ian McNeice plays a bishop who offers a Scarpia Ultimatum to a noblewoman whose estate is in debt to the church. He even shows her erotic parchments he's collected at great expense, depicting exactly how she's expected to keep her side of the bargain "in 47 different ways". | |
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In the Canal+ series Borgia most of the clergy depicted in the series are noted for their sexual appetites, especially Villain Protagonist Rodrigo Borgia, who was the Pope (Truth in Television) for most of the series. His eventual successor Giuliano della Rovere also had carried on a number of affairs with both men and women during his time in Rome. | |
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In The Good Soldier Å vejk Otto Katz is depicted as "the most perfect of army chaplains". An Austro-Hungarian World War I military chaplain who is given to drink (he's The Alcoholic of the novel where almost all characters are drinking heavily) and card games with other officers (though he's widely suspected of hiding aces up in the sleeve of his cassock by them), but he is less inclined to visiting brothels because he has some debts there. Instead he sends his orderly to fetch him a Street Walker from time to time. His sermons and religious services are often considered quite refreshing, as his alcoholic ramblings and drunken improvisations sometimes remade a Holy Mass into an entirely new kind of show. In general, he takes chaplaincy as "just a well-paid profession, where a fellow like me does not have to overwork himself" (he was actually raised Jewish - which apparently had not influenced him in any way, either), but he also states that he is quite tolerant to his more religiously-minded colleagues. | |
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Nicholas D. Wolfwood of Trigun is a non-sexual example. He claims to be a travelling Christian priest, yet he drinks, smokes, sells confessional sessions for money, kills both for profit and for expediency, and is the member of a Church Militant in the manga and functionally a Knives priest-in-training in the anime. In the anime, he even admits he's never actually been inside a church before when he stumbles into one to make his last confessions and die. | |
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Zephaniah Cromwell in Cloud of Sparrows, though he conceals it so well that other characters believe him to be asexual. | |
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There's a variation in the New Jedi Order. Yuuzhan Vong science is more about religious doctrine and tradition than the scientific method, and master shapers - the highest-ranked scientists - are expected to live ascetic lives "above the carnal" dedicated to spirituality and knowledge. Master Shaper Kae Kwaad is a lecherous Cloud Cuckoo Lander who in between ranting incoherently and ordering nonsensical experiments spends most of his time hitting on his (young, female, attractive) apprentice Nen Yim in complete defiance of tradition, religion, and the expectations of his station. Turns out he's actually Onimi, the Supreme Overlord's jester, in disguise - in his real identity he's just as much of a pervert, but can get away with it because he's basically untouchable and doesn't have to worry about social graces anyway. | |
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Randy of Blue Ramun is a priest-healer who oversees the various religious ceremonies, weddings, and funerals in the Lezak District, but his behavior more closely resembles that of a bum than a man of the cloth. He smokes excessively, drinks at all hours of the day, and sleeps through his personal prayers. He'll be the first to point out that he's broken nearly enough rules to get kicked out of the priesthood, but his congregation love and trust him nevertheless. They still remember his work as Captain of the Lezak Guard, a position which he resigned for priesthood after he failed to stop the district's Blue Doctor from performing deadly medical research on his subordinate Eagle's wife. Even with the façade of a lazy, carefree slacker, everyone can tell he's got the best interest of the community in mind and that he's willing to lay down his life to protect them if need be. | |
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The Decameron starts with the fourth story on the first day (which involves not one but two monks being naughty), and doesn't really let up after that. Of course, it's not that every story involves a lecherous monk, but many do—and if a monk is in a story, you can bet your bottom dollar that he's up to no good. Or that he's an idiot. | |
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Discworld: The unfortunate brother Nhumrod from Small Gods is tormented every waking moment (and even worse in his sleeping moments) by thoughts of a luxurious nature. As he's also the master of the novitiates, he is always reminding them of the dangers of this sin (according to the older novitiates, asking him about it is quite educational, especially when he starts foaming at the mouth). Snuff has the Ramkin property hermit, who uses his yearly two-week vacation to go to Quirm and ensure that the fine tradition of herming is passed down from father to son. |
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Used several times in Judge Dee, and Played for Drama (as the books are written in the style of actual Chinese detective novels of the time, Taoism and Buddhism were viewed with suspicion by the Confucian elite). The Judge's third wife was raped by a monk who saw her defenseless (before they married, it was mostly the doing of the judge's Top Wife to ensure the daughter of a criminal would not be condemned to a life of poverty). A shrine renowned for allowing unfertile women to have children turns out to be run by monks who use a decidedly non-sanctioned method to conceive, counting on social stigma to keep the women from speaking out. The judge publicly says some of the pavilions did not have a secret entrance and therefore women impregnated at the shrine are not automatically guilty of adultery, through his official report gives the truth. |
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In The Ribald Tales of Robin Hood, Friar Tuck not only indulges in his usual vices of gluttony, drunkenness, and thievery but receives blowjobs from wenches. | |
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The Friar, Summoner, Pardoner, and Monk from The Canterbury Tales. The Pardoner isn't technically a clergyman, but he makes a brisk business selling indulgences and fake artifacts, and is heavily implied to be homosexual. The Monk doesn't even pretend to follow his monastic vows (he claims it's because he's "modern") so he's more of a Sexy Priest version. The Friar tries to hide his wenching but is so transparent that no one is fooled, and he and the Summoner, who is similarly hypocritical, trade barbs with each other over it. Perhaps also the Nun's Priest, but he denies it. | |
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Miroku from Inuyasha. He would touch other girls' butts and every time he meets a woman, he would ask, "Would you bear my children?" even the demons. And it's actually In the Blood, sort of: his grandfather was once defeated and cursed by Naraku, who appeared to him as a beautiful woman. Add how Miroku was raised by yet another Dirty Old Monk after his father died, and is it any wonder that he turned out to be the local Handsome Lech? Somewhat justified though as the curse of the Wind Tunnel will eventually kill him so he only has a limited amount of time to father children if he fails to break it. | |
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Miroku in Inuyasha is an itinerant Buddhist monk who is very good at fighting youkai, but terrible at being a Buddhist, between his incessant skirt-chasing and his habit of conning his way into money and comfortable lodgings whenever possible. This is reasonably historically accurate, given that many monks of the time were incessantly criticized by laymen, both commoners and authorities alike, for doing exactly these things. It was said that there were no worse Buddhists in medieval Japan than among the clergy. Miroku himself manages to stay among the more benevolent examples of the trope and proves to be capable of deep spirituality when the situation is serious... but he's still a terrible Buddhist. | |
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Brother Belcher in Carry On Up the Khyber who has sex with women in the Indian markets that have "fallen" out of their religion. The soldiers blackmail him into going on the expedition by dangling a pretty wench before him and then catching him in the act. | |
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Satan's Cheerleaders has Monk, who gets very excited about the upcoming Virgin Sacrifice. Granted, he is a Satanist monk, but it is implied that he was a Christian monk before he converted to Satanism, and has been celibate his entire life. When an annoyed Sheriff Bubb asks what makes him such an expert on women, Monk replies that he has had a lot of dreams about women. | |
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Snuff has the Ramkin property hermit, who uses his yearly two-week vacation to go to Quirm and ensure that the fine tradition of herming is passed down from father to son. | |
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In Rock Star Ate My Hamster, one of the irrelevant stories in The Stun is "VICAR MARRIES PORN STAR!" | |
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Thomas in The Crowner John Mysteries is a cripple who used to be a priest as his deformities left him no real career opportunities except the Church. However, his weakness for the sins of the flesh got him defrocked after an attempted liaison with the daughter of a noble. Now a mere clerk, he continues to lech after pretty women but without success. | |
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While he's not an "old" monk, Fire Emblem: The Binding Blade gives us Saul - a priest who just can't help eyeing up every woman he sees and hitting on anything with two X chromosomes. However, he never actually dates anyone - mostly due to increasingly ridiculous hijinks - and never actually sleeps with anyone. Furthermore, he takes his duties as a priest and faith in God surprisingly seriously and has a number of intellectual conversations with the atheist Igrene. It's ultimately implied that his attempted womanising is at least partly Obfuscating Stupidity: as he's been sent by the 'verse's equivalent of the Pope to keep an eye on the war raging across the land and protect Roy and, thus, play the part of a fool to make sure that he can remain beneath suspicion. | |
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Septon Moon in the backstory detailed at The World of Ice & Fire was a Faith Militant leader that led an uprising against the Targaryen dynasty, but his credentials as a holy man were questionable: he claimed that the only book he ever read was the Seven-Pointed Star, but nobody ever saw him quote it or reading it himself despite being able to ramble speeches for hours on end. He had such an insatiable appetite for women that he bedded a different one every night. It was widely believed that his seed could turn barren women fertile and some would go as far as offering their wives, mothers, sisters, and daughters to be blessed with good fortune, which he never declined. It got to a point his followers started using images of his penis as symbol of their crusade. To his credit, he never hid his vices from his followers and started every sermon admitting that "I am a sinner". | |
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The Goatmonk in The Philosophical Strangler is an utter vile sex pervert built along the lines of a bipedal hippopotamus, who makes the mistake of targeting the local Cloudcuckoolander swordswoman with his "affections", and suffers a Groin Attack which (ahem) cuts off his career of debauchery. | |
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Deadtime Stories: In "Peter and the Witches", Peter is easily able to lure the local pastor into the witches' lair with promise of sex with two beautiful young women. When the witches (whom the pastor sees as beautiful young seductresses) place a shackle around his neck, his only reaction is an enthusiastic "A little bondage, eh?". | |
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Gonzalete in Pataclaun is all about this, spying on girls with cameras and covering his bedroom walls with sexy posters. | |
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Ikkou Satonaka, the monastic protagonist of Ah My Buddha, can access a Super Mode fueled by lust for the many attractive Miko he lives with. | |
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In the Showtime series The Borgias there are also clergy noted for their sexual appetites. This includes the Villain Protagonist Rodrigo Borgia himself, however it is a bit toned down compared to the Borgia in the Canal+ series or the real Borgia. note For example, Giulia Farnese was portrayed as being closer in age to Borgia in the Showtime series while in the Canal+ series she was portrayed as being in her late teens and early 20s during the series. | |
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One of the fake trailers for Tropic Thunder is "Satan's Alley", which is a parody of Oscar Bait films featuring Kirk Lazarus and Tobey Maguire playing gay monks, complete with an angelic chorus backed by pornographic beats as well as Lazarus's character confessing "I've been a bad bad boy, father". | |
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In Noob, set in a part of the world where priests are supposed to be celibate, we first find out about Abraham's existence from the mouth of his son. Then we find out that he has another son, that he's actually a mafia don hiding from the police, that these two sons have different mothers and that he may have at least three more (hinted to have different mothers as well). Oh, and the son who spilled the beans? He's a silly Forgetful Jones and seems to have gotten it from Abraham. | |
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The tenth and early eleventh centuries were known as the "pornocracy" (="rule of the prostitutes") in Rome, when the Pope's mistresses (frequently Roman noblewomen) and their friends (frequently the mistresses' brothers) ran Rome and the Church "by means fair and foul." At about the same time, discipline in the lower ranks was also notoriously bad, with priests, monks, and bishops regularly indulging in luxuries and other things that really ought to be off-limits to one who has taken vows of chastity and poverty. | |
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Benkei Musashibo from the New Getter Robo version of Getter Robo is a former bandit who gave up stealing, fighting, drinking and seducing/raping women after being touched by the kindness and wisdom of a remote mountain temple's Buddhist monks. Despite his desire to change, however, he is still very much ruled by his baser impulses; he revels in combat, loves his food and drink, and leers after beautiful women. When the temple is slaughtered by the oni, he joins the Getter Robo team for revenge, and his "monk" status becomes more or less non-existent. Ironically, it's after this that he actually matures somewhat and becomes closer to the ideal he sought. | |
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Keisei and Umehara from Corpse Princess. Keisei was Makina's Contracted Monk. He was something of a pervert, often offering (or forcing upon) Ouri sexual posters or skin mags. Umehara is known for his perverted nature. | |
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Desmond on Lost became a monk after receiving a sign from God, but was kicked out for drinking the wine made at the monastery and it being clear that it wasn't where he belonged. | |
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Ambrosio, the eponymous monk of The Monk, who a) has sex with a demon disguised as a girl disguised as a monk, and b) rapes (and murders) his own sister. | |
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There are actually two of these in The Cold Stark House, one of the Genevieve Undead stories from Kim Newman: Antonio Udolpho, a monk of Ranald, disgraced because of this trope, and the Kislevite revolutionary Prince Piotr Kloszowski (who is only pretending to be a priest of Morr, the god of dreams and death). | |
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Much of Archdeacon Frollo's villainy in The Hunchback of Notre Dame is driven by his lust for Esmerelda. | |
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A Song of Ice and Fire gives us: Thoros of Myr, technically a Red Priest of R'hllor. We say "technically" because, at the start of the series, he's more like the enthusiastic wine-woman-and-song tourney buddy of Robert Baratheon's entire circle of friends than an actual priest: a years-long Crisis of Faith (and the steadfast, quiet shelving of the orders you got regarding the conversion of the Seven Kingdoms) will do that. Unlike most Red Priests, Thoros just doesn't really go in for the Blood Magic, destroying demonic idols (aka those of other gods), or the whole burning-people-alive thing in any big way, even though he does occasionally pull genuine miracles out and does talk about his, eventual, renewed faith and the contradictions inherent in the human condition. Septon Moon in the backstory detailed at The World of Ice & Fire was a Faith Militant leader that led an uprising against the Targaryen dynasty, but his credentials as a holy man were questionable: he claimed that the only book he ever read was the Seven-Pointed Star, but nobody ever saw him quote it or reading it himself despite being able to ramble speeches for hours on end. He had such an insatiable appetite for women that he bedded a different one every night. It was widely believed that his seed could turn barren women fertile and some would go as far as offering their wives, mothers, sisters, and daughters to be blessed with good fortune, which he never declined. It got to a point his followers started using images of his penis as symbol of their crusade. To his credit, he never hid his vices from his followers and started every sermon admitting that "I am a sinner". |
|
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One of the Eleven Supernovas, the most formidable up-and-coming pirates in One Piece, is a man named Urouge. He has received the least focus of the Supernovas, but he seems to be an ex-monk; he wears a torn Buddhist monk outfit and a necklace of prayer beads — furthermore, his pirate epithet is "Mad Monk Urouge", and he's the captain of the "Fallen Monk" pirates. He's also a Birkan, so he has angelic-like vestigial wings. None of this stops him from being a powerful and fearsome pirate, and according to the author, one of his hobbies is "lovemaking". | |
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Yuki's brother Tatsuha from Gravitation. Tatsuha is a 16-year-old monk who is obsessed with Ryūichi and watches his Nittle Grasper video repetitively. He's quite the perverted and obsessive fan. | |
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Brother Hieronymus in No Good Deed... is a scheming friar who drinks ale by the barrel, can't pass up a brothel to save his life, shamelessly hits on and ogles his female companion, fights, gambles, and generally abuses his position for personal and financial gain or just to get himself out of trouble when it all blows up in his face. He also sanctimoniously calls said companion out on her own loose morals. | |
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The Commish. Commissioner Scali uncovers a high-class escort ring, only to be bombarded with calls from politicians and important local businessmen pressuring him to drop the case. He's relieved when told there's a priest on the line, only for the priest also to express 'concern' about the case. Scali responds pointedly, "I'm sorry, but it is a crime...not to mention a sin." | |
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Virtually every priest or nun in Father Ted, definitely including the protagonists. Father Ted is a gambling-addicted embezzler, Father Jack is a foul-mouthed, violent, alcoholic womanizer, and Father Dougal openly mocks the teachings of the church, though he may not mean to, as he is a Manchild who can be distracted by tossing candy across the room. | |
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Bedazzled (1967). A cardinal is at the Devil's going away party in his seedy nightclub and hits on Stanley who's in nun drag - earlier on Stanley wonders why the devil doesn't use a pigeon to crap on a clergyman and make him sin with anger; the devil explains 'he's on our side'. | |
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Enjo: Tayama, the abbot at a Buddhist monastery has a geisha mistress that he impregnates, and keeps pinups of geisha girls. | |
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Eustache from Dead In Vinland isn't an old monk — he's maybe 30-ish — but he's certainly dirty, pursuing both the married Blodeuwedd and Blodeuwedd's teenage daughter Kari. He was actually a monk at one point, but more recently he's been a pirate. | |
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Friar Bellows, one of the seven wickedest men in England, from The Black Adder. The first time we see him, he's being asked to look after a lady's chastity. The next time, he's about to relieve her of it. | |
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Blackadder Friar Bellows, one of the seven wickedest men in England, from The Black Adder. The first time we see him, he's being asked to look after a lady's chastity. The next time, he's about to relieve her of it. The Baby-Eating Bishop of Bath and Wells in Blackadder II, who eats babies, is a colossal pervert that likes to play 'Nuns and Novices' with the prostitutes, and thinks nothing of doing an Ass Shove with a hot poker if one's debts to him aren't paid. And yet the Queen and his congregation have no idea, thinking his worst crime is a love of wine. Blackadder blackmails him into absolving his debt by putting him in a compromising position (with Percy as the prostitute), having it painted, and threatening to release the painting to the public. The Bishop asks if Blackadder's ever considered a career in the church. Subverted in "The Archbishop", where Edmund pretends to be one of these to get excommunicated and lose his position as the Archbishop of Canterbury, due to the fact holders of the position tend to be short-lived. |
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Friar Carl in Van Helsing, but technically he's only a friar, so that makes it okay.note Friars are different from monks in that they travel around rather than staying in a monastery, but the celibacy applies to both. | |
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In Episode 39 "Grandstand (or: The British Showbiz Awards)" of Monty Python's Flying Circus, there is the "Dirty Vicar sketch". Here, it involves a vicar who alternates without warning from a Quintessential British Gentleman and cockney-accented, lumbering brute that tackles two women, spouting "I like tits!" and "I'd like to get my fingers around those knockers" as he actively molests them. | |
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Tales of the Gold Monkey. Reverend Tenboom is far more interested in the native girls than in doing his duty as a priest or a German spy. | |
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Mentioned in Sharpe's Devil. Captain Ardiles describes how you can tell which is the best whorehouse in town: it's the one all the priests patronize. "And this one," he concludes, "is where the Bishop goes!" | |
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Pain & Gain: Pastor Randy gets violently attacked by Paul after he comes on to him, thus leading Paul on the path toward Daniel and the Sun Gym Gang. He still acts as a source of emotional and spiritual support for Paul when he decides to confess his crimes to the authorities. | |
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Sailor Moon: Sailor Mars' grandfather is a Shinto priest, but is definitely not above making lewd remarks towards his granddaughter's underage friends, and flirts with everyone regardless of gender. | |
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Not seen onscreen, but Hob Gadling's story in The Sandman (1989) has as Book Ends (set centuries apart) a joke about a poacher discovering his wife's cheating on him with a member of the clergy, replacing the friar with a vicar. | |
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The Bishop in The 120 Days of Sodom by Marquis de Sade greatly enjoys sodomy, especially passive sodomy and combining murder with sex. He refuses to have vaginal intercourse. | |
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Body Blows: Lo Ray is a Buddhist monk example. While he is a member of a Shaolin Buddhist monastery, but his goal in competing in the Body Blows tournament is to gain fame and fortune. | |
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Arly Hanks: Brother Verber (a Protestant preacher) spends a lot of time studying pornographic magazines and videos only so as to better understand how the Devil might lead his flock astray (or at least that's what he tells himself). | |
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Genjyo Sanzo of Saiyuki. A Buddhist priest known for his heavy smoking, easy irritability and general disinterest in giving sermons whenever possible. Also notorious among Youkai for being a killer marksman. | |
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The unfortunate brother Nhumrod from Small Gods is tormented every waking moment (and even worse in his sleeping moments) by thoughts of a luxurious nature. As he's also the master of the novitiates, he is always reminding them of the dangers of this sin (according to the older novitiates, asking him about it is quite educational, especially when he starts foaming at the mouth). | |
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Sai Saichi of Mobile Fighter G Gundam was raised as a Buddhist monk, but for all practical intents and purposes is just a rambunctious teenager who happens to have studied Shaolin kung-fu in a temple. He is chided by his guardians for his complete lack of monkly behavior regularly. | |
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Father Alexander Anderson from Hellsing is a zigzagged, non-perverted example. He's a bayonet-wielding ordained Catholic priest who likes to ham things up like an Evangelic preacher as he goes slaughtering into battle, where his Slasher Smile and Scary Shiny Glasses make it very obvious he's enjoying himself. However, as a member of the Iscariot Organization, he reserves his bayonets pulled from nowhere for vampires only, along with his . In his off-hours he runs an orphanage where he is truly beloved, and gets into a slight disagreement when his superior decides to cut down innocent people along with vampires; he might not LIKE Protestant England, but he's not a mass murderer. | |
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Cesare - Il Creatore che ha distrutto is about the son of history's most famous one, and Rodrigo is still at it less than a year before he becomes pope. In the manga, his young mistress Giulia Farnese is living with him. | |
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