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Evil Lawyer Joke
- 891 statements
- 169 feature instances
- 164 referencing feature instances
| Evil Lawyer Joke | type |
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Lawyers, who often defend people or practices that are considered unpopular or wrong (or justify draconian laws in the case of prosecutors), are an infamous Acceptable Target. It is often stereotyped that students of Law, Political Science, any debate-intensive course, etc. are total, aggressive, shameless, and argument-prone assholes who, for example, profit massively from the misery and misfortune of others, drink like fish, join fraternities, manipulate the system, and everybody else around them as ambitious opportunists as if they follow Machiavelli as their equivalent of Muhammad, and so on. Note that this refers to an explicit or implicit suggestion that all or most lawyers are evil, by: A character making a joke about lawyers being evil, or Giving lawyers Animal Motifs that classify them as evil (typically a snake or a shark) The word Satan can be translated as "accuser/prosecutor", which might have helped inspire the Occult Law Firm trope. Tends to be associated with America (especially in The '90s) although it's a global trope to some extent. One reason lawyers make such Acceptable Targets may be that, not only are aggression and opportunism both important in the litigation career, people generally only interact with them directly at difficult times in their lives (when facing criminal sanction, civil suits, or the complexity of land laws when buying a house), meaning individuals are not associated with the good parts of the legal system, like public order and good lawmaking. TV Tropes is not above this: see Screwed by the Lawyers, which has more to do with contracts and copyright than lawyers. See also Ambulance Chaser and Amoral Attorney, for the evil lawyers themselves. Lawyer jokes are fairly common in the profession, obviously. But anyone who uses them should remember one thing: Nobody likes lawyers until they need one. For real life lawyer jokes, see the quotes page. |
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| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_10e9182d | type |
Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_10e9182d | comment |
Tales from the Crypt features an episode where a lawyer named Geri Ferret ends up working off her legal sins in a nightmarish courtroom purgatory. | |
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| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_11859033 | type |
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| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_11859033 | comment |
Narbonic: There's normal lawyers (who occasionally get joked about) and evil lawyers who specialise in advising members of Mad Scientist community. Often on zombie-related lawsuits. Many of them are zombies themselves. Mel becomes one of these, by the way. Not a zombie, an evil lawyer. Dr. Narbon's lawyer, mr Winters, tends to respond to the "Aren't they all?" with a Death Glare to end all Death Glares. Helen's backstory ends with him being zombiefied (by Helen) - and he's happy about it. Mell gets forcibly ascended to Heaven after a snafu with a portal, and gets Kicked Out of Heaven a couple days later. Not necessarily because she was a paralegal, but her descent is followed by an avalanche of business cards as they "really needed a lawyer up there." |
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| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_136469af | type |
Evil Lawyer Joke | |
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In Pact, Blake is discussing summoning help. Note that Mann, Levinn, and Lewis, the lawyers in question, rival Wolfram and Hart in this regard. | |
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| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_17fa5f0a | type |
Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_17fa5f0a | comment |
This quote from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows — and Word of God points out that, ironically, Hermione became the magical equivalent of a lawyer and used her position to improve the lot of House-elves, Muggles and Muggle-Borns. | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
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In The Salvation War, God gets sued by the State of Louisiana because of the damage caused by Hurricane Katrina, since it was an "Act of God". Michael suggests taking them into court, but points out that most of the lawyers that are not alive are in Hell. Though this may be because God closed the gates of heaven centuries ago, before any kind of modern judicial system was set up. | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_18be2615 | comment |
Beyond the Valley of the Dolls: Z-Man sardonically presents law student Emerson as some kind of budding demon, although Emerson proves himself to be one of the nicest people in the movie. | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
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The Oblongs episode "My Name is Robbie" has a bit where two men representing Globocide inform the Oblongs that they shouldn't talk to any lawyers in the duration of Bob's jaw recovering because they can't be trusted and respond to Pickles pointing out that they are lawyers themselves by stating that they're actually attorneys. | |
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Munchkin: The base card game has Lawyers as monsters to fight. They refuse to attack thieves out of professional courtesy, instead allowing them to Discard and Draw treasures. Some expansions add other law-practicing baddies, such as So Suu Mee, the Chinese lawyer demon, and the Sea Lawyer, which also counts as a shark. In the Munchkin RPG, Lawyers are Lawful Evil monsters. Their Chaotic Evil arch-enemies are Insurance Salesmen. |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
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In a Checkerboard Nightmare strip, Lyle's law firm superiors decide to punish him for a recent failing by locking him in a room and lowering the temperature until...he puts his hands in his pockets. Despite Lyle pointing out that that's just a lawyer joke, said superiors persist. | |
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In Mort the Dead Teenager, Teen Death mentions lawyers as one of the kinds of people Hell is overcrowded with. | |
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Angel: Cordelia discusses the evil law firm Wolfram and Hart, comparing them with vampires Angel and Darla. "You were just soulless bloodsucking demons. They're lawyers." A humbled Angel agrees with her. "She's right, we were amateurs." This season one gem as said by Gunn upon entering the Wolfram & Hart building to cause a distraction: "Whoo! Whoo! My God! They told me it was true, but I didn't believe em. Damn. Here it is! Evil white folks really do have a Mecca." Let's just say that Wolfram & Hart take evil lawyers to a whole 'nother level. According to Detective Kate Lockley, "They're the law firm Johnny Cochran was too ethical to join." Really, Wolfram & Hart is the personification of the trope. When a team of them find legal ways to harass Angel, he quips: "Lawyers, don't you people sleep during the day?" |
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A lawyer in CSI: NY kills a cockroach while complaining that his fumigators didn't do a good job, and says he & they are from the same species. When Mac stares at him blankly, he asks: "What, you don't like lawyer jokes?" Mac replies, "I don't like lawyers." At the end of their conversation, Mac turns it on the guy with "What do they call a thousand lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start." Pause. "What, YOU don't like lawyer jokes?" | |
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Osmosis Jones: "We'll go down to the haemorrhoids and get you a good lawyer." | |
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In JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Phantom Blood, during a football game, they mention how Jonathan Joestar is studying archaeology, while Dio Brando is studying law. There you have it, folks: lawyers are just bloodsuckers after all! | |
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The Simpsons: The family have hired Lionel Hutz to help them with one of their many lawsuits. For some reason, they've invited him over to dinner, where Bart says that he wants to be a lawyer when he grows up. Lionel responds with "Good for you, son. If there's one thing America needs, it's more lawyers. Can you imagine a world without lawyers?" The scene shifts into his imagination, which shows a peaceful utopia where people of all colors and cultures are holding hands and singing. Fade back to Hutz, who shudders in horror at the thought. From the episode "My Mother the Carjacker" There's also an episode where the "Blue-Haired Lawyer"note who was confirmed by Word of God to be partially based on the much despised McCarthy era lawyer Roy Cohn is shown with hairy hands and really long, wolf-like claws. In the episode "The Sweetest Apu", Manjula, contemplating divorcing Apu, sees a divorce lawyer, who frequently chuckles demonically, cites the landmark case Lawyers vs. Justice and dances gleefully on the desk when she mentions they have eight children. When Manjula admits she still has feelings for her husband, the lawyer says, "When will you humans learn that your 'feelings', as you call them, can stand in the way of big cash payoffs?" |
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In the Kevin & Kell universe, most lawyers are, in fact, sharksnote Mei-Li is a housecat-turned-tiger, but we do see a flashback of her attending law school using scuba gear, leading to frequent jokes... for example, when Herd Thinners Inc. is flooded (due to drooling resulting from having an injured rabbit on the premises), Angelique comments that it's not a total loss - now their legal staff can work on-site. | |
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Such a joke is made in Superman vs. the Elite when Supes confronts the Atomic Skull for his latest killing spree and the Atomic Skull dismisses that his victims were lawyers. | |
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Done by the author of the Miraculous Ladybug fanfic Tax Evasion: when Gabriel manages to win the trial for being Hawk Moth, the prosecution realizes they can still get him for tax evasion, and for the job they hire "bloodthirsty paralegal Lila Rossi", that is another villain from the show, only she's grown up and found a better use for her ability to lie - as said by Lila herself when her lies as a teen are brought up by a former classmate. | |
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Whose Line Is It Anyway?: A Scenes From a Hat category "Odd definitions found in Webster's Dictionary": | |
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Justice League, when a bunch of aliens are persecuting the Green Lantern: | |
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In The Hebrew Hammer, the Jewish Justice League is trying to find a Jewish hero to defeat the new Santa Claus: | |
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During a song in Muppet Treasure Island, a pirate sings, "I could've been a lawyer, but I just had too much heart." | |
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In The Fifth Elephant, Angua points out that the only reason Uberwald switched from Trial by Ordeal to Trial by Lawyer is because they learned that lawyers are crueler. | |
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In HFIL, after a new precursor to the Otherworld Tournament is announced as the Hell Games, Cell asks Raditz if he can sue somebody in Hell. | |
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1776 One of John Adams' first lines: "I have come to the conclusion that one useless man is called a disgrace; that two are called a law firm, and that three or more become a Congress!" A touch of Hypocritical Humor on his part, since he was a lawyer. Later, Adams got into a shouting match with John Dickinson. As stated above, Adams was, historically, a lawyer but so was Dickinson. |
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Cousin Mel's lawyer from Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer goes by I. M. Slime. | |
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In House of Mouse, Hades, the god of the Underworld, calls Goofy over because an item on the menu uses his name without his permission. Hades tells him "A word to the wise, I know all the lawyers." | |
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Family Law has Viveca upset a man won't rent an apartment to her because he hates lawyers after a bad legal experience. Viveca tries to sue for discrimination, arguing lawyers count as a "persecuted class". The judge sums up that she's heard scores of such jokes and cracks and that in all her years as a lawyer and on the bench, "I can only conclude... we brought it on ourselves." She then dismisses the case so as not to give people even more cause to make such jokes. | |
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Johannes Cabal the Necromancer: Satan mocks that Johannes can try to dispute the terms of their contract, but Hell spawned all the lawyers. | |
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In the world of All Over The House, lawyers are Satan-proof because they have no souls. | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke / int_3f04c72d | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_3fbd173e | type |
Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_3fbd173e | comment |
Freefall has a few, such as this one. | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_3fbd173e | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_3fbd173e | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| Freefall (Webcomic) | hasFeature |
Evil Lawyer Joke / int_3fbd173e | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_40911a98 | type |
Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_40911a98 | comment |
Medieval Cop: Death of a Lawyer: | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_40911a98 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_40911a98 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| Medieval Cop (Video Game) | hasFeature |
Evil Lawyer Joke / int_40911a98 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_41b0198a | type |
Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_41b0198a | comment |
The Dresden Files: Harry gets a decent amount of mileage out of the fact that the resident Good Shepherd Father Forthill not only passed the bar exam before discerning his vocation to the priesthood, but still occasionally helps his parishioners with their legal troubles. | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_41b0198a | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_41b0198a | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Dresden Files | hasFeature |
Evil Lawyer Joke / int_41b0198a | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_4222ddd5 | type |
Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_4222ddd5 | comment |
In The Devil's Dictionary: | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_4222ddd5 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_4222ddd5 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Devil's Dictionary | hasFeature |
Evil Lawyer Joke / int_4222ddd5 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_42ffb88e | type |
Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_42ffb88e | comment |
One SCP Foundation artifact is a desk that lets you make a Deal with the Devil. When the Foundation tested it using one of their own lawyers to prevent any Loophole Abuse, it manifested in the form of the lawyer's former law professor, which the lawyer described as a harrowing experience (and the SCP as fun). | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_42ffb88e | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_42ffb88e | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| SCP Foundation (Website) | hasFeature |
Evil Lawyer Joke / int_42ffb88e | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_443d21f5 | type |
Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_443d21f5 | comment |
In The Blockbuster Buster's honest review of Angel, he says that Angel's main antagonist was Wolfram & Hart, and evil law firm — "sorry if that sounds redundant." | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_443d21f5 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_443d21f5 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Blockbuster Buster (Web Video) | hasFeature |
Evil Lawyer Joke / int_443d21f5 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_44e0b783 | type |
Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_44e0b783 | comment |
Garfield A spider showed up with a lawyer and a restraining order against Garfield, who was smiling because he'd "never squished a lawyer". Also, "Beware of the Dog's Lawyer". The October 29, 2021 strip has Garfield watching a movie titled The Giant Bloodsucking Leech vs. a Personal Injury Attorney. Garfield comments that this could go either way. |
|
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_44e0b783 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_44e0b783 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| Garfield (Comic Strip) | hasFeature |
Evil Lawyer Joke / int_44e0b783 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_4522fd1 | type |
Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_4522fd1 | comment |
Whateley Universe has Jadis' lawyer, who works for a super-villain. In a minor subversion, he's basically helping the good guys, if only because Jadis tends to get wrongfully accused. A LOT! | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_4522fd1 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_4522fd1 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| Whateley Universe | hasFeature |
Evil Lawyer Joke / int_4522fd1 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_45d098f8 | type |
Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_45d098f8 | comment |
Get Medieval has a Running Gag along these lines: | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_45d098f8 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_45d098f8 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| Get Medieval (Webcomic) | hasFeature |
Evil Lawyer Joke / int_45d098f8 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_468bebb0 | type |
Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_468bebb0 | comment |
Discworld: In The Fifth Elephant, Angua points out that the only reason Uberwald switched from Trial by Ordeal to Trial by Lawyer is because they learned that lawyers are crueler. Whenever Mr. Slant — a centuries-old zombie lawyer — appears, expect at least one such joke to come. In The Truth, one of the Dwarfs suggests killing Slant, and William points out there's probably some law against killing lawyers — otherwise, there wouldn't be any left. The Nac Mac Feegle have swords that glow blue in the presence of lawyers, the way Sting reacts to orcs in The Lord of the Rings. In Wyrd Sisters, when a Guild thief accidentally steals more money than allowed by his quota, he says "You've got to be in the Guild of Lawyers or something to steal that much." According to The Discworld Companion, the motto of the Guild of Lawyers is Lucre Semat — "Money Talks". Other spin-offs have portrayed the coat-of-arms as showing the Scales of Justice, with a bag of coins in each pannier. |
|
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_468bebb0 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_468bebb0 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| Discworld | hasFeature |
Evil Lawyer Joke / int_468bebb0 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_46ee5caf | type |
Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_46ee5caf | comment |
One post of Texts from Superheroes has Spider-Man telling one to Daredevil- a Crusading Lawyer in his civilian identity. | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_46ee5caf | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_46ee5caf | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| Texts from Superheroes (Blog) | hasFeature |
Evil Lawyer Joke / int_46ee5caf | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_47ac2646 | type |
Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_47ac2646 | comment |
In I Love You Phillip Morris, Steven tells one of these to the receptionist. She finds it funny, and the joke is quickly told to anyone and everyone in the firm, with plenty of variations, including a nasty anti-Semitic one. | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_47ac2646 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_47ac2646 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| I Love You Phillip Morris | hasFeature |
Evil Lawyer Joke / int_47ac2646 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_4c2be998 | type |
Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_4c2be998 | comment |
The "paralegals" in The Supernaturalist are literally paratroopers with law degrees. | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_4c2be998 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_4c2be998 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Supernaturalist | hasFeature |
Evil Lawyer Joke / int_4c2be998 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_4faac297 | type |
Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_4faac297 | comment |
As he was a pre-law student, Jon-Tom in Spell Singer is subjected to this trope fairly regularly throughout the series. In the final novel, he (accidentally) kills a bandit leader in the most awful way imaginable: he summons a lawyer owl who buries his unfortunate victim alive under a mountain of paperwork. | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_4faac297 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_4faac297 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| Spellsinger | hasFeature |
Evil Lawyer Joke / int_4faac297 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_51ef8ae4 | type |
Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_51ef8ae4 | comment |
The Garfield Show episode "The Great Trade-Off" had a Mad Scientist named Dr. Puzzle attempt to sell an invention that swapped personalities. One of the villains he's offering the device to expresses interest in using it to make his lawyer swap personalities with a snake, to which Dr. Puzzle retorts "How can you tell the difference?" | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_51ef8ae4 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_51ef8ae4 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Garfield Show | hasFeature |
Evil Lawyer Joke / int_51ef8ae4 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_52eb7183 | type |
Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_52eb7183 | comment |
One Irregular Webcomic! strip contains this bit of dialogue: | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_52eb7183 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_52eb7183 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| Irregular Webcomic! (Webcomic) | hasFeature |
Evil Lawyer Joke / int_52eb7183 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_530b6b18 | type |
Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_530b6b18 | comment |
According to Madam & Eve, hating lawyers is one thing that both humans and tokoloshes (bedroom demons) have in common.◊ | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_530b6b18 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_530b6b18 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| Madam & Eve (Comic Strip) | hasFeature |
Evil Lawyer Joke / int_530b6b18 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_544fb5a2 | type |
Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_544fb5a2 | comment |
In Death: In Ceremony in Death, Eve wonders if a "lawyer witch" can be considered redundancy. | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_544fb5a2 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_544fb5a2 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| In Death | hasFeature |
Evil Lawyer Joke / int_544fb5a2 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_54961d49 | type |
Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_54961d49 | comment |
In The Wish List, Beelzebub tries to assuage Satan's anger at not getting Meg's soul by claiming a bus full of lawyers is due to fall into a canyon that afternoon, so they're expecting a bit of a glut. This just makes him angrier; as he points out, he doesn't need lawyers because it's not like anybody's going to sue him. | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_54961d49 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_54961d49 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Wish List | hasFeature |
Evil Lawyer Joke / int_54961d49 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_556f2fcf | type |
Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_556f2fcf | comment |
The spoof movie The Silence of the Hams had a gag in the part parodying The Silence of the Lambs where the protagonist is walking through the prison of mentally insane criminals—he walks past a bunch of maniacal, howling lawyers standing in a pit, with a warning sign reading "Don't feed the lawyers". | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_556f2fcf | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_556f2fcf | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Silence of the Hams | hasFeature |
Evil Lawyer Joke / int_556f2fcf | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_5a8a52ff | type |
Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_5a8a52ff | comment |
The Lincoln Lawyer: Mickey Haller is told a joke that uses the Bait-and-Switch Comparison. | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_5a8a52ff | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_5a8a52ff | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Lincoln Lawyer | hasFeature |
Evil Lawyer Joke / int_5a8a52ff | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_5c783167 | type |
Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_5c783167 | comment |
In the western-spoof Rustlers' Rhapsody, good-guy gunfighter Rex O'Herlihan faces off against good-guy gunfighter and lawyer Bob Barber. When Barber shoots O'Herlihan in the arm (rather than shooting the gun out of O'Herlihan's hand, as good guys are supposed to do), O'Herlihan's shocked that Barber isn't really a good guy. Barber's response: "I'm a lawyer, you idiot!" | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_5c783167 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_5c783167 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| Affectionate Parody | hasFeature |
Evil Lawyer Joke / int_5c783167 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_5c897f4a | type |
Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_5c897f4a | comment |
Schlock Mercenary: The comic has an entire Hive Mind of snake-like lawyers. There's a standing bounty on them so the crew kill them at every opportunity. Best summarised during Massey's first appearance, when the Partnership Collective attempted to link him to their Hive Mind. Note Massey himself is a lawyer who subverts any and all Evil Lawyer tropes; so much so that occasionally he has to use lawyer-speak when talking to his employer to hide the fact that moral concerns are the real reason he thinks the current plan is a bad idea. Or this: |
|
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_5c897f4a | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_5c897f4a | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| Schlock Mercenary (Webcomic) | hasFeature |
Evil Lawyer Joke / int_5c897f4a | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_60e46d26 | type |
Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_60e46d26 | comment |
A common joke in MAD is to have people treat lawyers as the scum of the earth. The trope itself is discussed in one "The Lighter Side of" strip, in which a lawyer takes the jokes in stride, noting that people are content making fun of lawyers' lack of morality until they need one. | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_60e46d26 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_60e46d26 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| MAD (Magazine) | hasFeature |
Evil Lawyer Joke / int_60e46d26 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_6443309b | type |
Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_6443309b | comment |
In The General Series by David Drake and S. M. Stirling, there's a species of fish called Advocati. Advocati are invertebrate, foul-smelling, slimy bottom-feeders, that only are useful as dog-fodder, and only that if the dogs haven't been fed for a few days. | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_6443309b | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_6443309b | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The General Series | hasFeature |
Evil Lawyer Joke / int_6443309b | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_68237790 | type |
Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_68237790 | comment |
Pathfinder: The Lawful Evil deity Asmodeus is basically this trope personified: he's the god of contracts and tyranny and is portrayed as a Big Red Devil. Pathfinder First Edition even has a unique archetype for Asmodean clerics called the Asmodean Advocate, which is locked to the Trickery domain and gets to use Profession (barrister) on skill checks in place of Bluff and Diplomacy. | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_68237790 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_68237790 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| Pathfinder (Tabletop Game) | hasFeature |
Evil Lawyer Joke / int_68237790 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_68dd9872 | type |
Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_68dd9872 | comment |
Discworld Roleplaying Game describes the Duke of Hell Vassenego as having the soul of an elderly lawyer, before adding that he actually has the souls of thousands of elderly lawyers. | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_68dd9872 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_68dd9872 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| Discworld Role-Playing Game (Tabletop Game) | hasFeature |
Evil Lawyer Joke / int_68dd9872 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_690edccd | type |
Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_690edccd | comment |
Doctor Dolittle got a call from the Audubon Society one day, asking him to explain strange vulture behavior; a man had died and the vultures, instead of eating the body, were giving it a decent burial. Doctor Dolittle arrived and saw that it was true. He asked one of the vultures what was going on. "It's professional courtesy," said the vulture. "He was a lawyer." | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_690edccd | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_690edccd | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| Doctor Dolittle | hasFeature |
Evil Lawyer Joke / int_690edccd | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_69fa7496 | type |
Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_69fa7496 | comment |
Disney Ducks Comic Universe: In "The Magnificent Seven (Minus Four) Caballeros" by Don Rosa, a corrupt Indian chief brags that he learned about the power of "greed and avarice" while studying abroad. Donald quips "You became a lawyer?" | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_69fa7496 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_69fa7496 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| Disney Ducks Comic Universe (Comic Book) | hasFeature |
Evil Lawyer Joke / int_69fa7496 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_6c0ee327 | type |
Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_6c0ee327 | comment |
In Legally Blonde The Musical, Professor Callahan sings a song to his law students, "Blood in the Water," that first addresses the common joke about lawyers being sharks, then explains exactly how a lawyer succeeds without having morals get in the way. The song uses comical levels of Black-and-White Morality, then explains how the lawyer would somehow defend the obviously horrible party in this scenario. From Callahan's perspective, it's a win, but for the audience, it solidifies him as a Hate Sink. | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_6c0ee327 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_6c0ee327 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| Legally Blonde (Theatre) | hasFeature |
Evil Lawyer Joke / int_6c0ee327 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_6c97d515 | type |
Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_6c97d515 | comment |
"Fairly Odd Fairy Tales" has this come up in the episode's rendition of The Three Little Pigs, where the Big Bad Foop (the Big Bad Wolf represented by Foop) states that he's become a lawyer and that a lawyer is the most evil thing ever. | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_6c97d515 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_6c97d515 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Three Little Pigs | hasFeature |
Evil Lawyer Joke / int_6c97d515 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_6ecaff2e | type |
Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_6ecaff2e | comment |
Scribblenauts: There is a level where you have to get bad guys up from Hell to Heaven. One of them's a lawyer. In Scribblenauts Unlimited, the Starite shard "Liar Liar Pants On Fire", awarded for placing two people who never tell the truth next to each other, can be earned by spawning two lawyers in close proximity. Getting another shard, in the Saurus Park level, involves putting something that sucks blood in a chunk of amber, and a lawyer works just fine. |
|
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_6ecaff2e | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_6ecaff2e | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| Scribblenauts (Video Game) | hasFeature |
Evil Lawyer Joke / int_6ecaff2e | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_6f734712 | type |
Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_6f734712 | comment |
In Smallville | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_6f734712 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_6f734712 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| Smallville | hasFeature |
Evil Lawyer Joke / int_6f734712 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_708ae58b | type |
Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_708ae58b | comment |
In Dan and Mab's Furry Adventures the most evil and feared monster in all of Furrae is possibly Moira Gianna: Attorney at Law. | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_708ae58b | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_708ae58b | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| Dan and Mab's Furry Adventures (Webcomic) | hasFeature |
Evil Lawyer Joke / int_708ae58b | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_742af508 | type |
Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_742af508 | comment |
In Grim Fandango, when the Player Character, Manny, is trying convince slimy lawyer Nick Virago to help spring his friend from prison, he wants Manny to stroke his ego by asking if you want a good lawyer or the best. One of the player's reply options is "Well, logically, the best lawyer would be a dead one", which causes him to caustically point out that that definition includes every single attorney in the Land of the Dead. | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_742af508 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_742af508 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| Grim Fandango (Video Game) | hasFeature |
Evil Lawyer Joke / int_742af508 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_7482155 | type |
Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_7482155 | comment |
The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad gives us Cyril Proudbottom's epic slam against the crown prosecutor, when asked how Toad got the motorcar: | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_7482155 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_7482155 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad | hasFeature |
Evil Lawyer Joke / int_7482155 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_755cbdcf | type |
Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_755cbdcf | comment |
Candy from Precocious, enjoys making these jokes about herself, in her second appearance alone she claimed she works best without a soul. Another time her wife (who was smoking something hand-rolled) claimed that she breaks more laws daily than she does. | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_755cbdcf | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_755cbdcf | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| Precocious / Web Comic | hasFeature |
Evil Lawyer Joke / int_755cbdcf | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_761db20d | type |
Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_761db20d | comment |
Sea Shepherd, of Whale Wars fame, had to rename one of their ships, which was previously named "Gojira". As they put it, "It's a great name... BUT the only thing scarier than Godzilla itself is Godzilla's lawyers." It probably doesn't help that Godzilla is the intellectual property of a Japanese company... and that Japan is one of the nations most frequently criticized by environmentalists for whaling. In fact, the moniker was chosen specifically so it (in addition to the fearsome appearance of the ship) would have an impact on Japanese whalers. | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_761db20d | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_761db20d | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| Whale Wars | hasFeature |
Evil Lawyer Joke / int_761db20d | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_766babbf | type |
Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_766babbf | comment |
In Angel Heart, Louis/Lucifer jokes that "one less attorney" in the world doesn't really matter, even though there has been nothing to suggest that Winesap is corrupt or evil in any way (or knew who his client really was), and the fact that he had a "nasty accident" suggests that he wouldn't have gone along with his client's plan and needed to be silenced. | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_766babbf | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_766babbf | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| AngelHeart | hasFeature |
Evil Lawyer Joke / int_766babbf | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_7a14d99b | type |
Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_7a14d99b | comment |
That's also the name of the firm that allegedly has Click and Clack as clients (their counsel is Hugh Louis Dewey, also known as Huey Louie Dewey). It's also (really!) the name of Car Talk's production company. | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_7a14d99b | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_7a14d99b | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| Car Talk (Radio) | hasFeature |
Evil Lawyer Joke / int_7a14d99b | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_7cf1b706 | type |
Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_7cf1b706 | comment |
Guybrush Threepwood does a whole string of these in Escape from Monkey Island when he travels to Lucre Island to consult the Marley family lawyers. Of course, none of the lawyers actually get the jokes... | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_7cf1b706 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_7cf1b706 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| Escape from Monkey Island (Video Game) | hasFeature |
Evil Lawyer Joke / int_7cf1b706 | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_7d1c83da | comment |
Better Call Saul: In "Rebecca", Jimmy McGill is invited to dinner by Chuck and his wife Rebecca. To Chuck's chagrin he proceeds to reel off a string of lawyer jokes he learned from his new job in the mailroom at Hamlin, Hamlin & McGill. Chuck is even more enraged when he sees that his wife isn't offended, but actually charmed and delighted: | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke / int_7d1c83da | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
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Used frequently regarding Steve Dallas in Bloom County. In one of the collections, Breathed remarked about how frequently lawyers would respond positively (often asking to buy a print) to the jokes. | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke / int_7d20ef2c | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
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In Wyrd Sisters, when a Guild thief accidentally steals more money than allowed by his quota, he says "You've got to be in the Guild of Lawyers or something to steal that much." | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke / int_7de1376e | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_7fc78282 | comment |
The Nac Mac Feegle have swords that glow blue in the presence of lawyers, the way Sting reacts to orcs in The Lord of the Rings. | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke / int_7fc78282 | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_803beb04 | comment |
Earthworm Jim had a LOT of fun with lawyer jokes. Notably, they're reoccurring enemies in "What the Heck?" in the first game. | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke / int_803beb04 | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
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In General Protection Fault, when Trent tries to find a lawyer who will help him sue Fred, he goes to a law firm that apparently doesn't care about how petty his feud is(Nicole, whom Fred had hired, talked him out of suing Trent) and only ends up laughing him out of the office after learning that Fred is a sapient slime mold. When Trent tries hitting on one of the female partners, she, disgusted, thinks he's the only thing more disgusting than another lawyer. | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke / int_8197ebd8 | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
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The Office (US): Michael Scott believes in this trope and generally does not get along with lawyers even when they're being reasonable. He also attempts to tell lawyer jokes to them. In "Sexual Harassment"; In "The Deposition"; |
|
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Evil Lawyer Joke / int_82439e64 | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_83443877 | comment |
God and Satan are arguing over who gets to keep a soul. God threatens to sue Satan. Satan answers "Oh yeah? You and what lawyers?" | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke / int_83443877 | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
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Winston Roantree, the creator of Subnormality, once submitted some cartoons to the New Yorker. In one of them, a family looks disapprovingly at a passing lawyer, who insists she's only doing it to pay for pole dancing lessons. | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke / int_88363fe | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
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30 Rock riffs on a classic old lawyer joke with Stephen Black, a lawyer who works at the firm "Dewey, Cheatham and Livingston." This is a subverted reference to the old joke firm of "Dewey, Cheatham and Howe", which is a pun on "Do we cheat 'em? And how!" | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke / int_89bf8ce | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
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In the I Am Weasel episode "Law of Gravity", I.R. Baboon burns up the paper documenting the law of gravity, which results in gravity being destroyed. Because lawyers are the only ones who understand the law, they are the only ones affected by the loss of gravity. I.M. Weasel reprimands I.R. for causing all the lawyers on Earth to float away, to which I.R. responds by inquiring why this is a bad thing. | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
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One episode of Society of Virtue has a Galactus-like alien menacing earth. The heroes initially don't understand what it wants until Flaring Roach correctly deduces that it is a lawyer threatening to destroy earth for a copyright violation. Big Bang initially dismisses the idea saying that just because the alien is a Humanoid Abomination Planet Eater does not mean it's a lawyer, he then realizes that Flaring Roach is right. | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke / int_8d189256 | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
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In the Law & Order episode "Savior," defense attorney Margot Bell says, "What does a lawyer have in common with a sperm cell?" ADA Claire Kincaid replies, "Both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being," then tells Margot there's a law that once you pass the bar, you have to stop telling lawyer jokes. Then there's this exchange in "Divorce": | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke / int_8dfbdff2 | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_8f58ab76 | comment |
From Liar Liar: | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke / int_8f58ab76 | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
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The New American Dictionary defines a lawyer as "a paid criminal". | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke / int_8fb9f5b2 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_92049eed | type |
Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_92049eed | comment |
In Batman Written by an AI, Two-Face is described by the narration as "a man but attorney", in the same manner as Joker's "a clown but insane." | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke / int_92049eed | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
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Dinosaurs In the episode "High Noon", Earl notes that lawyers are "...lower lifeforms who have only recently arisen from the primordial ooze..." and that he really hates them. In the episode "Life in the Faust Lane", when Earl is about to sell his soul: According to Mr. Ashland in "Power Erupts", the leaders of the WESAYSO MegaCorp do not eat their enemies- that's what their lawyers are for. |
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Evil Lawyer Joke / int_92844ddb | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
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In Dual Destinies, one of the witnesses calls Apollo a no good shyster. | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke / int_9284ad43 | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_92ae31c9 | type |
Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_92ae31c9 | comment |
In the two-part Evil Con Carne episode "Devolver", General Skarr is seen devolving into lower life forms. After he turns into a smelly skunk, he turns into a lawyer. | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke / int_92ae31c9 | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
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Blade II has Blade meet a representative of his enemies, and sees he's got the mark of a Familiar, starting this exchange. | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke / int_93e1a7e | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
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This exchange from The General's Daughter: | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke / int_95a8a58a | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
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Illuminati: In the Collectible Card Game version, there is a card referencing William Shakespeare, (see below) called "First thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers" which destroys all law cards in play. In order to use it the player must say "Now seriously, Lawyers are an important part of our judicial system and we'd all be worse off without them." The card notes that the player has to try to say it with a straight face, but is not expected to succeed. | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke / int_95aba2f5 | |
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From Bee Movie: | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke / int_97ce01ba | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
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Daria: Daria's mother Helen (an attorney) is often in the background talking to her boss about cases. At one point she says something to the effect of "No, no, absolutely not! It's unethical, it's immoral, it may well be illegal. I'll have no part of it. [pause] Okay, I'll do it." She's also cruel to her staff (which is, sadly, Truth in Television in too many real law offices); she once tells her assistant: "Look, our entire strategy depends on you analyzing those printouts before the weekend. I don't care if your mother's getting married! I don't care if your mother's getting executed! Do you understand?!" | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke / int_9888f901 | |
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In The Boondocks episode "The Itis", Janet's lawyer is asked by Huey if he knows CPR when Janet succumbs to a heart attack after eating a Luther burger. The lawyer replies "I'm a lawyer. We don't help people." | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke / int_99c003af | |
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In Top 10, the lawyer Larry "Frenzy" Fischmann is an anthropomorphic shark. One character insults him, saying that his people haven't evolved in millions of years. Frenzy takes offense, saying that's a common misconception about sharks. The guy wasn't talking about sharks. | |
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A Murder of Crows is a subversion, since the hero is a (mostly) heroic lawyer, who matches wits with a serial killer who goes after lawyers because of this trope. The reason was that his son was killed by a drunk driver, but the driver's lawyer got him off on a technicality... and when they walked out of court, he could tell that the killer was repentant, genuinely sorry about the damage he'd caused... but the lawyer was smiling. He had won. | |
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In his review of Jurassic Park (1993), The Nostalgia Critic is quick to make one of these when the Tyrannosaurus rex kills and eats a lawyer. | |
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De Rechter: The Lawyer is frequently the target of these kind of jokes. One example: during his vacation, the Lawyer goes diving and runs into a shark. The two politely greet each other as colleagues. | |
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"Spooky Mormon Hell Dream" from The Book of Mormon has O.J. Simpson's lawyer Johnnie Cochran appear in Hell alongside Genghis Khan, Jeffrey Dahmer, and Hitler. | |
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"The Saruman Blues" from The Unfinished Spelling Errors of Bolkien has the line "I've got this guy called Grima, he's a slimy troublemaker, more disturbing than a lawyer who's a part-time undertaker." | |
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In an episode of the Honey, I Shrunk the Kids series, it's revealed that Wayne keeps embarrassing Diane every time they go to her law firm's picnics together since he keeps making these jokes. | |
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Futurama has this exchange. Note that the lawyer in question was the only person who fought for Zoidberg and believed he didn't do anything wrong when he ate an Earth flag on Freedom Day — even the president of the ACLU thought Zoidberg should have been executed. | |
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In Independence Day, when Marty Gilbert finds out the aliens are about to attack, he quickly worries about who he needs to warn. | |
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The Bible: Satan appears as a prosecutor in God's court. In Jewish theology, this is in fact the extent of his villainy, and his entire narrative role. Insert joke about how the Christians made him less evil by turning him into God's direct antagonist and enemy of mankind (God's people in particular). In fact, "devil" comes from "prosecutor" in Ancient Greek... Jesus is compared to an Advocate (DA), but then it does say he came to take our sins upon him and lawyering is the greatest sin isn't it? |
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Darths & Droids: Pete, the Min-Maxing Token Evil Teammate and unrepentant Rules Lawyer, turns out to be a defense attorney. The jokes really write themselves. Amusingly though, he winds up being a subversion; in stark contrast to how he acts in-game, he is absolutely not an Amoral Attorney in real life, and when the subject comes up during the The Force Awakens campaign, he gives a surprisingly poignant speech about the sanctity of the law and the importance of lawyers. | |
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In Noah Smith's stage version of The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Hyde makes one in Act II after Utterson speculates on how Hyde will evade the police. | |
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Whenever Mr. Slant — a centuries-old zombie lawyer — appears, expect at least one such joke to come. In The Truth, one of the Dwarfs suggests killing Slant, and William points out there's probably some law against killing lawyers — otherwise, there wouldn't be any left. | |
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Philosophy and Pop Culture: The book Final Fantasy and Philosophy takes a crack at lawyers in chapter 5, "Gaia and Environmental Ethics in The Spirits Within, when talking about how the Gaia hypothesis goes against the belief of humans being more important than other species. | |
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Magic: The Gathering can't help dabbling into these, ironically or not: The Orzhov Syndicate also work as lawyers, usually playing the devil's advocate in otherwise mostly Azorius courts. This is only one of many reasons they're not liked, but Teysa Karlov is actually a main protagonist, subverting this trope. Though not actually evil, Davriel Cane is a diabolist who got so good at making demonic contracts thanks to his tenure as a lawyer before becoming a planeswalker. When other characters learn of this, they're not surprised. In New Capenna the White aligned faction known as the Brokers are literally demonic lawyers. |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
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The Fairly OddParents!: In "Timmy's Secret Wish", Timmy is brought to Fairy Court on charges of being the worst godkid ever and Foop is the prosecutor. Foop explains that he became a lawyer to be evil enough to defeat Poof. Timmy originally outsmarts Norm The Genie by realizing he needs "someone as dishonest and devious" as him. So he wishes for a lawyer that helps him get Norm to undo the previous wishes. "Fairly Odd Fairy Tales" has this come up in the episode's rendition of The Three Little Pigs, where the Big Bad Foop (the Big Bad Wolf represented by Foop) states that he's become a lawyer and that a lawyer is the most evil thing ever. |
|
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Evil Lawyer Joke / int_a8729c90 | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_a8abee5d | comment |
Inverted in Ink City when Cave Johnson meets Edgeworth and automatically punches him upon hearing his profession. The whole reason he considers lawyers fair game to mock is because they try to regulate his Mad Science, imposing unwanted morals and values upon his work. | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
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Exterminatus Now: Apparently, the Inquisition lawyers are a snake, a vulture and a hyena. A later comic gives the name of their law firm as Carrion, Carrion and Diamondback. | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke / int_a92c264a | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
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Impure Blood has the level two of the prison, for gladiators, murderers, thieves, rapists and lawyers. | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
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Little Shop of Horrors has Depraved Dentist Orin Scrivello allude to the reputation of lawyers in the scrapped song "I Found a Hobby" (replaced in the final musical by "Dentist"). | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke / int_ac03a2dd | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
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The Amazing World of Gumball: In the episode "The Internet", when Darwin sings about how there's a beating heart in everything, he explicitly excludes lawyers (alongside zombies and jellyfish). | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke / int_aca7b22d | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
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A prominent firm of libel lawyers in Great Britain who are renowned for their tenacity in pursuing cases — and fees — are called Carter-Ruck. Private Eye, a magazine often stung by them, renamed them Carter-Fuck. The alternative title has taken off, much to their annoyance. One time when Carter-Fuck publicly sided with Private Eye after the Yorkshire Ripper's wife succesfully sued them for £600,000 in a libel case, they asked the magazine to stop calling them Carter-Fuck. Their response? In the next issue, they called them Farter-Fuck. |
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Evil Lawyer Joke / int_ad283518 | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
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Not the intended use (Zantetsuken Reverse): In Supernatural Support Society, when Soma says that he's the reincarnation of Dracula and his Major is law, Naoki immediately replies that a vampire who studies law HAS to be evil. The Shout-Out completely flies over Soma's head, but not Kazuya's. | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
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Ty the Tasmanian Tiger has an NPC spout one of these in the second game. | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
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Back to the Future Part II: "The justice system works swiftly in the future now that they've abolished all lawyers." Note that Doc does not necessarily say that as good news. Specifically, the line explains how Marty’s future son was tried, convicted, and sentenced to 15 years in prison within 2 hours of his arrest. Considering the context of the line it's more likely that no lawyers mean no protection from the State Sec. | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
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In Peanuts, Snoopy often fantasizes about being an attorney, and he tends to get these a lot, mostly from Lucy. It's lampshaded once, after he appears to have lost a case (where he represented Peter Rabbit who was suing Mr. McGregor) and he gets upset at Woodstock. ("No, I do NOT want to hear a funny attorney joke!" he snaps.) | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke / int_b2ac2311 | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
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Troy Rising: One morbid joke following the Horvath bombardment of Earth is that the Horvath only read one bit of human culture, and that was Shakespeare's Henry VI Part 2. Due to a quirk of demographics, the profession with the heaviest casualties from the bombardment was the American Bar Association (that's what happens when Washington DC and Los Angeles are major targets). | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
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From Hook: "I hear scientists are replacing their lab rats with lawyers. One, the scientists were starting to get attached to the rats. And two, there are some things even rats won't do." We also get this exchange: |
|
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
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The crew of Jaws named the mechanical shark "Bruce" after Spielberg's lawyer Bruce Raimer. | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke / int_b36c38cd | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
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Modern Family: When Mitchell and Cameron are staying at Jay's house because theirs is being fumigated, Jay leaves a book of lawyer jokes in the guest bedroom to irritate Mitchell. He cracks these kind of jokes throughout the episode, including "What's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?"note One's a slimy, scum-sucking, bottom-dwelling scavenger, the other's a fish. | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
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Non Sequitur lives and breathes this trope. In one arc, Danae sues the state for allowing her teacher to flunk her. The judge dismisses the case, calling it the second stupidest thing he'd ever heard. | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke / int_b6c8dea | |
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Bait and Switch (STO): While serving as a character witness while Rachel Connor is on trial for being an illegal genetic augment, Kanril Eleya makes a comment that she's glad she chose the military over going to law school like her grandmother wanted. | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
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In the Duckman episode "Married Alive," there is a law firm called Manson, Dahmer, Gacy, and Bundy, all names of serial killers. | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke / int_bb7d6a95 | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
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Sleazy Lawyers from Clicking Bad, who are so oily they eventually become supervillains. | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke / int_bb9e9e58 | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_bd1991ee | comment |
In the AU Kitsune no Ken: Fist of the Fox, Orochimaru has been turned into a lawyer. While he's good in this story's continuity, he's first seen having successfully got Dosu, Zaku and Kin (members of Mizuki's gang) out on bail... And complains that he's going to be on the receiving end of these. | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke / int_bd1991ee | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
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Hercules: The Animated Series: Typhon, father of all monsters, is terrorizing Athens and Zeus arrives to stop him and they have this exchange: | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke / int_c0f8022c | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_c3b69789 | comment |
In 20 Haunting Halloween Facts by Matthew Santoro, Matthew says, "There are people around the world that are 'vampires', who actually drink peoples' blood and claim to drain their life and take everything but their very life. These people are better known by their day name, 'lawyers'." | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
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Beetlejuice: While talking down to his own feet in the episode "Sore Feet", Beetlejuice mentions lawyers as an example of individuals who are lower on the food chain. "Ship of Ghouls" has a scene where Beetlejuice is made to walk the plank. After seeing that the water is full of sharks, he turns to the audience and says "Bet you can't tell which one's the lawyer!" |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_c73f511c | comment |
Boardwalk Empire: Bill Fallon is the butt of an excellent one from his client, Arnold Rothstein, after being impressed by Rothstein's ability to lie with a straight face. | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke / int_c73f511c | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_cb28ba69 | comment |
Once on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Peter Sagal related a conversation in which he'd mentioned to an acquaintance that his brother was a lawyer. When the acquaintance expressed sympathy, Peter hastened to reassure him. | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke / int_cb28ba69 | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
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Disenchantment: When Luci gets exorcised, and stuck in a bottle his first reaction is to demand his lawyer. Turns out he's a demon too (distinguished from all the others by a tie), and he's already been captured as well, advising Luci not to say anything. | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke / int_cb32d0d5 | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
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In The Legend of Total Drama Island, a school of sharks won't harm Courtney out of "professional courtesy" because she plans to be a lawyer when she grows up. | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke / int_ccf2f4fc | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_cf39ca4f | comment |
Pearls Before Swine does this every once in awhile; the cartoonist is Stephan Pastis, an ex-lawyer, and is known to delve into these jokes occasionally. "I heard you used to be a lawyer. Do you ever miss those days?". Cue hysterical laughter. |
|
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Evil Lawyer Joke / int_cf39ca4f | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_d0409533 | comment |
The Concrete Blonde: Before the opening statements of Harry Bosch's trial, the judge told the jurors what the attorneys say during those statements wasn't necessarily true since they're lawyers. The judge's accent even makes it sound like "lie-yers". | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke / int_d0409533 | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_d1710608 | comment |
Bernard Cornwell named two antagonists in the Sharpe-series, Lieutenants Berry and Gibbons, both of whom were malicious, sadistic and dumb as rocks, after his first wife's divorce attorneys. | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke / int_d1710608 | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
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In Nomine: One of the factors that increase the change of Mammon, the Prince of Greed, answering a call to Earth, more effective than a single wealthy thief but less so than a millionaire who hasn't given anything to charity for a year or more, is a room full of lawyers. | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke / int_d2cd3b5e | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
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Welcome to Hell has this joke applied to both lawyers and network executives: | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke / int_d3f65163 | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
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Nina Tanleven: Downplayed version in The Ghost in the Big Brass Bed - Chris remarks at one point that her father says "You shouldn't believe anything you hear from a lawyer." | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke / int_d47f11e0 | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
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In the intro to Bully, Jimmy describes "corporate lawyers" among the despicable alumni of Bulworth Academy, right after arms dealers and serial killers. | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_d4efb984 | comment |
In The Golden Girls, Sophia is having a near-death-experience where she's in Heaven: | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke / int_d4efb984 | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_d5970b92 | comment |
Temple, one of the main protagonists of Red Country has had many jobs, the most recent of which was as the corrupt attorney to a company of seedy mercenaries. Even though said mercenaries were raping and pillaging and Temple, the Token Good Teammate, was only involved in drawing up contracts and making land deals (and disapproves of/had no involvement in the killings), he decides that he will likely get less hate identifying himself as a mercenary rather than a lawyer. | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke / int_d5970b92 | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
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In an 1985 radio adaptation of The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by the BBC, Dr. Jekyll begs Mr. Utterson, his lawyer and friend, to hand him a vial to stop Mr. Hyde from committing evil completely. Seconds after the final transformation, this dialogue ensues as Hyde is dying and Poole the butler breaks down the door to the cabinet: | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke / int_d634ac98 | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_d7817374 | comment |
In Veronica Mars, Veronica uses the existence of this trope as proof that Private Detectives are more respected than lawyers. | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke / int_d7817374 | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_d7c4626a | comment |
In The Sandman (1989), one minor character makes the "not enough catshit" joke. | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke / int_d7c4626a | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
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In the Universe of Pokémon Reset Bloodlines, Lawyers are one of the five mortal enemies of Ninjas. | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke / int_dc217e32 | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_dca06c7f | comment |
When Mack from Tales of MU has to visit her lawyer, Lee Jenkins, in his office, and discovers the elevator warded against infernal entry, this comes into play in the form of a joke regarding how long a law firm could last if infernal beings weren't permitted to enter its offices. | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke / int_dca06c7f | |
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Evil Lawyer Joke | |
| Evil Lawyer Joke / int_dd8198f3 | comment |
In the last episode of season 1 of Las Vegas, Ed Deline says to a group of lawyers that it might seems strange to them to try to do the right thing for once. | |
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French Baguette Intelligence: Such a joke appears in Science vs Ethics Debate, despite (or perhaps because of) the Ace Attorney art style. Harry (represented by Manfred von Karma) advocates for turning lawyers into lab rats on the grounds that they are 'parasites' and 'crooks'. | |
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Homestar Runner: According to the Strong Bad Email "rough copy", "lawsuits" in Free Country USA consist of little more than pelting the defendant with water balloons or snowballs, sometimes followed by a mugging. | |
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A rather dark version of this trope happens in the 2001 HBO / BBC movie Conspiracy (2001), about the Wannsee Conference where the Holocaust was planned. Stuckart, a lawyer representing the Interior Ministry, starts objecting to the proposed "evacuation" of millions of Jews because it violates the Nuremberg Laws. | |
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The Ace Attorney series as a whole likes to use these kind of jokes. Considering the basic nature of the series's concept (hero lawyers, fighting for justice), they're mainly used ironically. Most of the time they're self-deprecating humor from the lawyers themselves. Apollo Justice has a go at himself with these occasionally. In one of the cases from Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney – Dual Destinies, one character thinks he's a demon lawyer from Hell. The dialogue is pretty subtle about it, but there's no doubt that Apollo's lines, such as "I'm not a demon, I'm a lawyer", were intended to be subtle forms of these. Apollo cracks a crack at himself when Trucy says that revealing a magician's secrets isn't very nice. In Dual Destinies, one of the witnesses calls Apollo a no good shyster. Another case of the self-deprecating variety in Dual Destinies when talking to Athena about the trial during the second day's investigation prompts a conversation about how "Tenma Taro" made an appearance in court. |
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Louise Fa of Project NRI lashes out one of these at Richard Engarde. | |
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Bleak World: A Nightmare Level enemy is "The Board of Executives" a group of Lawyers who sold their soul for immortality and the knowledge of all universal laws. | |
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Pool Hall Junkies: Uncle Mike's introduction in the film has him walking out onto a balcony and telling one (while at a party where almost everybody attending happens to work for the same law firm, including Uncle Mike.) | |
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Family Guy: Peter claims that he'd sell his soul to be famous. Cue a scene in Hell where Satan is pleased to hear that, only to learn that Peter's sold his soul twice already. Angry, he asks if anyone in Hell is a lawyer. Everyone raises their hands. | |
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Mass Effect: Andromeda: At one point late in the game, it's possible to find an inebriate in the Nexus militia's cells demanding a lawyer. He's informed by the desk sergeant that no lawyers have yet been taken out of cryogenic stasis. The sergeant, a turian (who historically have No Sense of Humor), then adds "there's probably a joke in there somewhere." | |
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In a Wunschpunsch episode where the Curse of the Week turns all people into animals, the heroes need to put them all on one ship to reverse it. They initially fail as the curse won't stop working — apparently someone is missing — until the ship starts sinking and a pair of sharks swim in—three guesses who those two people were.note When Tyrannia came up with the idea to turn people into animals, she said each victim would turn into an animal that fits their personality. After the ship sinks and the Mayor says he'll sue the people who made it, the sharks offer their help. | |
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Dora Wilk Series: When vampire Antoni glamours his lawyers, exasperated with the amount of trouble he has with them, Dora is full of understanding. | |
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The Crazy Ex-Girlfriend number "Don't Be a Lawyer" has a couple, in addition to being a song about how law in general is a terrible profession. There's the line "No one every says let's kill all the tailors!". | |
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In The Mentalist, one Victim of the Week, a lawyer, is killed when his speedboat is destroyed in an explosion. Lisbon and Jane, who were already on the scene when the bomb went off, rush over, only to see the man's severed arm suddenly get tugged underwater by what is almost certainly a shark. | |
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Charmed: In the episode "Black As Cole" (episode 8 season 4), when Paige learns about Cole's past she says: When the Charmed Ones' father, Victor, was threatened with being ripped into a thousand pieces by a group of shapeshifters, he simply responded "Ah, so you're lawyers." Another exchange after Cole's de-powering (where his demon half is vanquished so he can become fully human). |
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In the story "Lunchtime at the Tyrant's Arms" from the fourth Halloween Unspectacular, Roy Cohn is among the real-life conquerors and villains because of this. He even lampshades it. | |
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Unreal Tournament makes note of this in the description for one of the opponents in the singleplayer Deathmatch ladder, claiming that economists are one of the few things close to being as bad as a lawyer, and that the audience for the tournament will pay big bucks to see such "scum" get blown to pieces repeatedly. | |
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