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Flowery Insults
- 449 statements
- 86 feature instances
- 97 referencing feature instances
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Basically, it's all about insults which are... creative. Not so much like You Fight Like a Cow. These are more serious, but at the same time almost poetic, and often Sophisticated as Hell. Like this Arabian insult: "You son of a rabid bitch! Grandson of a stinking jackal! Great-grandson of a plucked vulture!" Or this one: "A thousand dicks in your religion!" May be caused by being from a foreign culture like the example. If both opponents do this, Volleying Insults is likely to turn into a verbal Lensman Arms Race. Compare Cut His Heart Out with a Spoon. Contrast Big, Stupid Doodoo-Head. |
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DBTropes | |
| Flowery Insults / int_10254bd5 | type |
Flowery Insults | |
| Flowery Insults / int_10254bd5 | comment |
The Thick of It is living proof that this trope and Cluster F-Bomb are perfectly capable of living together and having lots of inventively sweary babies. The same applies to its Transatlantic Equivalent, Veep. | |
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Flowery Insults | |
| Flowery Insults / int_109f7814 | comment |
The first episode of Sherlock contains this gem: | |
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Flowery Insults | |
| Flowery Insults / int_1869a077 | comment |
In the Samurai Jack episode that introduces the Scotsman, he taunts Jack with an impressive twenty seconds of Scottish put-downs. His wife is also very fond of these, showering them on Jack and the Scotsman as they try to rescue her from demons. |
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| Flowery Insults / int_1bfb9fe0 | type |
Flowery Insults | |
| Flowery Insults / int_1bfb9fe0 | comment |
Pilots in Endless Sky have a very... colorful vocabulary of randomly-generated insults to throw at you if you talk to them after disabling their ship. | |
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Flowery Insults | |
| Flowery Insults / int_22211d68 | comment |
Bones : Brennan tells a doctor who’s reluctant to allow a very sick Arastoo to be given medicinal plant extracts “I understand that when someone is blindly subservient to institutional authority, their judgment is frequently compromised.� He agrees it’s an eloquent insult. It is inherited by her daughter Christine, who calls a playground bully a “troglodyte�. |
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Valkyria Chronicles 4 In Chapter 18, "The Final Battle", Doctor Belgar rages against Squad E for trying to prevent him from detonating the A2 bomb inside the Centurion, an atrocity he's committing so he can measure the results For Science!. | |
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Flowery Insults | |
| Flowery Insults / int_22d74b2e | comment |
The Redwall book The Long Patrol shows a Mook insulting a stupid co-worker: "If brains were bread, you'd have starved to death before you were born!" An even more impressive example is the "Duel of Insults" in Marlfox; the characters put on a play in which the characters fight with insults rather than weapons, and react as if wounded with each line. Also, in Mattimeo: | |
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Flowery Insults | |
| Flowery Insults / int_2372359 | comment |
The Belgariad: Mandorallen speaks in Ye Olde Butcherede Englishe like all Mimbrate knights and, moreover, feels honor-bound to avoid crass language, so he uses a string of flowery insults to provoke someone into a duel. The eloquence doesn't soften the content, which starts with an insinuation that his target's mother consorted with a goat to produce him and progresses from there... | |
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The Simpsons: | |
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| Flowery Insults / int_29e77392 | type |
Flowery Insults | |
| Flowery Insults / int_29e77392 | comment |
Horrible Histories's version of William Shakespeare, just like the real one, is a master of these. He manages to literally knock out an opponent in a battle of words, using a barrage of insults collected from the real Shakespeare's works: | |
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| Flowery Insults / int_30940081 | type |
Flowery Insults | |
| Flowery Insults / int_30940081 | comment |
A friend on Franklin's LifeInvader page in Grand Theft Auto V accuses him of "working as a male geisha for white boys." | |
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Flowery Insults | |
| Flowery Insults / int_30963b69 | comment |
In the Callahan's Crosstime Saloon story "Have You Heard The One About...", when Al Phee's time-travelling scam was uncovered by Josie Bauer, he cursed angrily and creatively at her, concluding his tirade with, "May you fall into the outhouse just as the Turkish Army finishes eating its prune stew and six kegs of beer!" | |
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In the primary phase of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (1978), supercomputer Deep Thought — while explaining why he's creation's second greatest computer — uses this to insult other mentioned computers such as the Hyperlobic Omnicognic Neutron Wrangler, which can: | |
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In Community, Troy gives Britta three bangers in a row in the third season premiere: | |
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Gorgeous Princess Creamy Beamy: "Nice girl, but about as sharp as a bowling ball." | |
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Scrubs features an array of rants from Dr Perry Cox that include some very elaborate insults. For example: "And you, you neurotic one-woman freak show, take your blah-blah to the blah-blah-ologist; because if you're so stupid as to confront the *Chief of Medicine* over some quasi-offensive endearment, then you've just got to go ahead and replace the captain of your brain ship because he's drunk at the wheel!". | |
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Sh�gun (2024): John Blackthrone definitely has a way with words. After Omi's attempt to take Blackthorne's pistols is defused by Lady Fuji, Blackthorne insists Mariko tell the "milk dribbling fuck smear" that he was ready to go with Omi. Obviously she doesn't call him that but instead tells Omi the Anjin apologizes for the misunderstanding. |
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Hugo Drax of Moonraker to James Bond: "You appear with the tedious inevitability of an unloved season." | |
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In the Animaniacs episode "Meatballs or Consequences," Yakko and Dot are speaking very formally in a parody of The Seventh Seal, but veer off-topic to lob a few of these at each other: | |
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Flowery Insults | |
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Lenore the Cute Little Dead Girl combined this trope with Big, Stupid Doodoo-Head by using Refuge in Audacity as glue: | |
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Flowery Insults | |
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Discworld: A character mentions that goblin curses can take a good half-hour to say properly. | |
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Flowery Insults | |
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The French guards in Monty Python and the Holy Grail embody this trope. They even use this as their primary battle tactic. | |
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Flowery Insults | |
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"Up your nose with a rubber hose!" from Welcome Back, Kotter. Gabe Kaplan did a novelty song of that name that included some other fun insults. | |
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Homestuck: Good gracious, Karkat Vantas. For his first meeting with John, he composed a flood of verbal abuse that took up half-a-dozen inches of page-space, and his meticulously-crafted capslock vitriol can sometimes go downright purple. | |
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Practically everything uttered by Fawful in the Mario & Luigi series. "Your lives that I spit on are now but a caricature of a cartoon drawn by a kid who is stupid!" | |
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Dr. Robotnik of Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog loves insulting others, to the point where there's an alphabetized video featuring all his insults that's as long as an episode of the show. | |
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The Twilight Zone (1959) Brings us this in the form of the eponymous "Uncle Simon". He is an aging uncle being cared for by his young niece Barbra. Over the course of the episode, he calls her many things including a "Bovine Crab" a "Peanut-Headed sample of nature's carelessness" and an "Ugly Harpie." Some of these insults are delivered posthumously by the robot he created to act as his replica and effectively trap Barbra into caring for someone just like him for the rest of her life. If she does not take care of the robot she loses every penny of her inheritance. | |
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Spy is full of this. | |
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Flowery Insults | |
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He's continued the tradition as host of The Late Show, using the template above: | |
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Roxanne, being a modern-day version of Cyrano de Bergerac, has a scene where C. D. Bates comes up with over twenty clever insults for his own nose on the fly. | |
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Skyward: Due to growing up on her grandmother's stories of ancient heroes, Spensa believes a good insult is only slightly less important than actually being able to fight. | |
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The Dimensional Drifter: Yuzu decides to start calling Sawatari "cowardly hundreth-rate banana-peel duelist". Unfortunately she never gets the chance to say that to his face. | |
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In the book There Will Be Dragons, the Big Bad is given a magnificent dressing down in the middle of a battle, his opponent almost singing a long and eloquent combination of flowery insult and "The Reason You Suck" Speech (it's a full page in the book) that literally leaves the guy crying before he finally gets put down. note | |
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Dungeons & Dragons quasi-Arabic setting Al-Qadim follows the tradition. A few of these are found in the "Adventurer's Guide to Zakhara" (Land of Fate boxed set): | |
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Something*Positive is full of these, a particularly impressive string here. | |
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In National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, Clark has an extensive rant after his Christmas bonus turns out to be...underwhelming. | |
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In The Ren & Stimpy Show, Ren often refers to Stimpy as "a bloated sack of protoplasm." | |
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Everything Everything's "Spring/Sun/Winter/Dread" contains the lines: | |
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Ludwig van Beethoven had a good one when one of his patrons, a Prince, complained about his work: "Prince, what you are is merely by accident of birth." | |
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The Spellsinger novel The Paths of the Perambulator has a cage made of gratuitous insults. Mudge the otter manages to defeat it by beating it at its own game. | |
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Jägermonsters in Girl Genius are as good in Trash Talk as they are in a fight: There was also the Mad Scientist who described a certain construct as "coprolithic". For those not in the know, a coprolith is a fossilized lump of dung from an extinct animal, or, in the vernacular, an ancient piece of crap. |
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Full Metal Jacket: Gunnery Sgt. Hartman, Drill Sergeant Nasty extraordinaire. While the insults he uses to berate his recruits are harsh and obscene rather than quaint or antiquated, he never just settles for an inarticulate Cluster F-Bomb. Instead, he continually invents vivid scatalogical metaphors to express just how worthless and contemptible they are to him. | |
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Flowery Insults | |
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¡Three Amigos! | |
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Klinger from M*A*S*H once said "May the Bluebird of Happiness leave a surprise in your orange juice!" He's also said; "May a camel give birth in your tent!" "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits." |
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The Wizard of Oz: | |
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In King Lear, Kent (disguised as Caius) delivers a particularly long-winded one to Oswald: | |
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The Enchantress of Florence gave us, among others, "Why don't you go and masturbate a diseased goat?" and "Tell your master to go put a hole in a picture of his late wife and fornicate with that." | |
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In Outsider, we find that Loroi insults range from contemporary American ("shitboots") and Brittish ("piss-artist", which means "drunkard") to esoteric ("biscuit graveyard," presumably meaning someone who's good for nothing but eating cookies, and "cancer boat," which sounds quire objectionable indeed). The esoteric ones are apparently suitable for gentle teasing amongst friends, while "shitboots" and "piss-artist" are hurtful enough to shout at a soldier deserting her post. | |
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In The Men from the Ministry this is General Assistance Department's boss Sir Gregory's main weapon against One and Two when not threatening to use physical violence. | |
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Tintin's Captain Haddock is the best known user of this in the Bande Dessinée genre. See here for alphabetically-sorted examples. "Billions of bilious blue blistering barnacles!" ("Mille millions de mille milliards de mille sabords!") is probably the most iconic one. Doubles as Parenthetical Swearing, as Hergé wrote Haddock like this to make him still seem like a salty sailor in a medium for kids, and many of the words he uses aren't even really insults (it's implied he uses them in such a way because he has no idea what they mean). | |
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Christmas Snow from Shadowgirls, after getting a memo that the life isn't all high-schoolgirlish pettiness, caught a little clinical bureaucrat and... rather creatively "exercised" her Mad Bitchy Skillz. | |
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The Worst Prisoner: While Zuko's insults aren't precisely poetic, he's certainly... creative with them. | |
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A possible example in one of the Get Smart novels, when Max is told by Funny Foreigner Hassan Pfeiffer, "May the great bird of paradise lay its eggs in your onion soup." Max spends the rest of the book on and off trying to work out if this is something he would want to have happen to him. | |
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In the All in the Family episode "The Man in the Street", Archie makes an anti-Semitic remark to Levy, an Orthodox Jewish TV repairman who can't immediately fix his set because it's almost sundown on Friday. | |
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In Cool Runnings Sanka at one point describes Yul as "the kind of club-toting, raw-meat-eating, Me-Tarzan-You-Jane-ing, big, bald bubblehead that can only count to ten if he's barefoot or wearing sandals." | |
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If the Emperor Had a Text-to-Speech Device The Emperor is a godlike being who spends a huge of his dialogue insulting others because he's in constant agony because his soul is shattered and he's only being kept alive by constant sacrifices of people with psychic powers. Thus, it's unsurprising he sometimes gets rather elaborate in his insults too, though he's generally not subtle. Rogal Dorn, of all people, gets in such a good insult back at the Emperor that even the Emperor is impressed. |
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In Babylon 5, Londo calls Vir a "moonfaced assassin of joy". | |
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Flowery Insults | |
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The dwarves of Deep Rock Galactic are surprisingly erudite when it comes to insulting their teammates for shooting them in the ass by accident. | |
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Flowery Insults | |
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Domina: Pops up on occasion. Several catchphrases are implied to be shortened versions of a flowery insult. For example, a common demon curse is "Nine Hells." At one point Seena swears "by all Nine Hells and the Black Gates that guard them." | |
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Ezio gives Cesare an insult that's pretty flowery for him at the end of Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood: "Che nessuno ricordi il tuo nome (May no one remember your name)." | |
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El Goonish Shive: Catalina calls the fat Hitler-resembling principal a "facist-mustached-grapefruit-shaped-dictator-jackass" to his back in a rapid fire delivery instead of just yelling plain "jackass" at his face. | |
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A spare but pointy exchange in Lawrence of Arabia: | |
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In Team Fortress 2, most of the classes have pithy insults for if they get the occasional kill. But if they score a domination (achieved by killing the same enemy four times without said enemy killing them even once), they let loose with some of the most vitriolic (and hilarious) lines in the game. | |
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From Inhumanoids we get "Check the fluid level in your brain!" | |
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Flowery Insults | |
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The second localization of Final Fantasy V replaces Faris' Pirate Talk with these. | |
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Blackadder does this a lot. A particularly impressive example: "You ride a horse rather less well than another horse would, your brain would make a grain of sand look large and ungainly, and as for the part of you which can't be mentioned, I am reliably informed that it wouldn't be worth mentioning even if it could be!" | |
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An absolutely beautiful one is used in Billy Madison to express Stupidest Thing I've Ever Heard: | |
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Martha Speaks: During a dream, someone describes An Ice Person as being "as much fun as an ice cream headache". | |
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The insults in The Curse of Monkey Island venture into this territory sometimes. They're still prime examples of You Fight Like a Cow... but because he's on the high seas, he has to rhyme his retort with his opponent's jibe. If you don't know the correct response, you can still give 'em a rhyme...but it's more like Flowery Idiocy instead. | |
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The Thief of Bagdad (1940): Alexander Korba gives us such gems as "Frequenter of tree-trunks"(for a dog) and "Descendant of a belch"(for a genie). | |
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The Hunger Games: Zig-zagged by Peeta when he paints the picture of dead Rue covered in flowers for his private session but he never says a word to the Gamemakers. | |
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In Ed, Edd n Eddy, everything that Rolf says when insulting others is some bizarre amalgamation of words that somehow make some sense. | |
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Sophia from The Golden Girls trades these with her sister. “May your marinara sauce never cling to your pasta!� | |
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xkcd channel's bot has a rather unusual set of phrases for this purpose. | |
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Popular in Capt'n Crazy. Like "Bearded ape", "roast apple". | |
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The song "You're a Mean One, Mister Grinch" from How the Grinch Stole Christmas! is made of this trope...with the possible exception of "nasty-wasty skunk". | |
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French Baguette Intelligence: Elaborate insults are used quite frequently. In The Metaverse Nightmares - Does Reality Matter?, when describing the art style of the Metaverse, Goblin Tyrant treats us to this gem. |
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Goblins: Kin suffers from fear-enhanced Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness and comes out with some good ones. "Your existence demonstrates a flesh-to-futility ratio that is mathematically staggering!" | |
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Total Drama Legacy: In "Family Feud", Anne Maria says to Ezekiel "I bet you buy your kids Mega Bloks instead of Legos." In "After the Dive of Shame", Raquel calls Emilia a "tangled headphone cord". |
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Amelia Peabody's husband Emerson is widely known in Egypt by the nickname "Abu Shitaim" or "Father of Curses" for his flowing, creative Arabic invective. The nickname is a compliment, as his Egyptian workmen consider proper cursing to be an art form. | |
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Colonists in RimWorld can deliver randomly-generated insults to each other if they do not get along. Imagine two grown men punching and biting each other until they draw blood because one of them compared the other to a hawk. | |
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Cyrano de Bergerac: A man wants to insult Cyrano, but all he can say is: "Sir, your nose is... hmm... it is... very big!" Cyrano berates him for being unimaginative, and gives examples of better insults in many different styles, as seen in Wrong Insult Offence. At Act II scene I, Ragueneau gives us this gem when he reproach his practical wife Lise her judgment on his friends, the poets: |
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Johnny Carson used to use these when doing his Carnac the Magnificent routine on The Tonight Show. | |
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Done occasionally on The Navy Lark, usually by CPO Pertwee. A particularly impressive example: | |
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Spongebob Squarepants: In "20,000 Patties Under the Sea", Plankton roasts an entire family with increasingly elaborate insults. | |
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In Starship Troopers, Rico notes with admiration that Zim's insult are magnificent, being extremely offensive while at the same time being extremely articulated, rarely repeated, and usually containing no profanity. And if they included swear words, it meant you had done something really stupid.note Rico at one point was insulted with swearwords during a training exercise, his sin being firing a simulated nuke and deciding the trajectory by "eyeballing" it rather than using computer targeting. The offense was serious enough that Rico should have been drummed out, and only escaped it with flogging because Zim deemed him redeemable and Rico was smart enough not to ask for a court martial when offered. | |
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