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Get Thee to a Nunnery

 Get Thee to a Nunnery
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 Get Thee to a Nunnery
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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GetTheeToANunnery
 Get Thee to a Nunnery
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The inverse trope to Have a Gay Old Time. Due to changes in vocabulary over time, something that originally was supposed to be raunchy and Double Entendre-laden can often sound perfectly straightforward—or sometimes incomprehensible—to modern ears.
Shakespeare is probably the most common exemplar of this trope, both because he wrote a long time ago and because he had a filthy streak wider than the Queen's farthingale (at least by the standards of the time). There was also no such thing as a "sensitive" listener who could not stand to hear a dirty joke in his day (except the Puritans, but they considered theatre itself to be sinful). The Queen's (and later King's) censors cared more about sedition and blasphemy than sexual or scatological humor. This is how the awful puns in Henry V were allowed to be used while seemingly mild oaths like "Gadzooks" (God's hooks, or the nails that held Jesus to the cross) were banned.
Nunnery meant a convent for nuns but was also used as an Sexual Euphemism for brothel. note Because a common belief in Shakespeare's time and earlier was that, often, a nunnery convent would be pretty much a brothel in disguise, usually with the monks and priests taking sexual advantage of the women there. Now you know. For situations about women actually entering a convent, see Taking the Veil and/or Locked Away in a Monastery. The inverse is Have a Gay Old Time, which are words that were originally not euphemistic. Subtrope of Sexual Euphemism, which concerns currently used euphemisms for sex.
 Get Thee to a Nunnery
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2023-11-18T22:30:52Z
 Get Thee to a Nunnery
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2023-11-18T22:30:52Z
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 Get Thee to a Nunnery
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DBTropes
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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A non-sexual version occurs in Emma, when the narrator makes a snide comment about how the new Mrs. Elton is the daughter of a "mere Bristol-merchant." During the Regency and Georgian periods, Bristol was best known for being a slave port, and so the pointed reference to it implies that Mrs. Elton's £10,000 fortune was dirty money. (This is also why Mrs. Elton makes such a big deal about her in-laws being abolitionists.)
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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There's a very good pun in Les Liaisons Dangereuses where Valmont mentions that he's going to visit a nobleman with an extensive forest that he maintains for the benefit of his friends. The French for "forest" is le bois. The French for "horns" is les bois. Mme. de Merteuil writes back to him that the nobleman is a friend to the entire world.
 Get Thee to a Nunnery / int_14af8b03
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Get Thee to a Nunnery / int_14af8b03
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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Gary Larson was forced to remove the word "dork" from one of his The Far Side cartoons when his editor informed him that it meant "penis." He'd never heard of that meaning and looked it up in a slang dictionary to confirm it.
 Get Thee to a Nunnery / int_14f9297e
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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Much Ado About Nothing:
This one:
There's also this exchange:
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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Tipping the Velvet (2002): Quite a few examples, most notably the title. "Tipping the velvet" doesn't seem like something dirty... but historically, it meant cunnilingus.
 Get Thee to a Nunnery / int_1ec90b13
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 Tipping the Velvet (2002)
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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This gives bonus meaning to the perpetually horny character of That '70s Show's nickname: "Fez".
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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The Bible: The Complete Word of God (abridged) naturally brings this in:
 Get Thee to a Nunnery / int_253f1c17
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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Memorably used in an obscure gag in The Simpsons, as Homer sees a cuckoo clock in an unfaithfulness situation.
In this case, quite possibly the Simpsons episode is referencing Joyce's Ulysses, in which a cuckoo clock chimes three times when a character realizes he's being cuckolded.
 Get Thee to a Nunnery / int_261c8d3f
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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There's this (non-sexual) exchange from the first movie that's puzzling to modern audiences. (Pepsi Free has long since been discontinued, so the fifties waiter's interpretation becomes younger viewers' as well. As for Tab, it still exists but is far less common — and many younger viewers might only know it from Homestuck.)
 Get Thee to a Nunnery / int_2e2efbf9
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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Hamlet: "Do you think I meant Country Matters?"
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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"I sat down in his shadow [i.e., sat down while he was standing up] …and his fruit was sweet to my taste." Goodnight everybody!
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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The Canterbury Tales:
The Monk doesn't give a "Pulled Hen" about the scriptures.
In Chaucer's Middle English, the word "queynte" could mean "quaint", "intelligent", or that other word. Chaucer uses this pun extensively throughout the Canterbury Tales, especially in the Miller's Tale.
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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In As You Like It, the clown Touchstone gives a speech which is mostly funny because Shakespeare expects "hour" and "whore" to be homophones. This is one of many small things put forward as evidence for the idea that Shakespeare's dialect of Early Modern English most closely resembled the northern dialects of Modern English (in which "hour" and "whore" still aren't homophones, but are closer to being so than in BBC English)—doubtless quite a shock for generations of RP-speaking Shakespearean actors.
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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The Restaurant at the End of the Universe has an anecdote about a fake evacuation meant to rid a planet of "middle managers, hairdressers, telephone sanitizers, and the like". Many readers, especially outside the UK, think "telephone sanitizer" was just a made up term for a useless profession, but it was actually an old British euphemism for "toilet cleaner".
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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Discussed by xkcd #1020.
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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And a line in Mallrats, Brodie says, "What about The Thing's dork? Is it like the rest of him?"
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"How fitting that Lord Auberon is horn'd" in The Books of Magic
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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Apparently, this is present in alien languages as well, as mentioned in an episode of Stargate SG-1, where the Jaffa word "Kelmar'tokim" is translated as "revenge by the wearer of horns" and is first mentioned when Teal'c finds out that his wife had their marriage annulled to marry a friend of his. Justified, since the Jaffa are Transplanted Humans, whose language has probably evolved from an Earth one. However, the word is used in another episode to mean a more generic revenge without reference to any sexual betrayal (namely, Teal'c swears Kelmar'tokim on the Goa'uld who murdered his father).
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There is also that bit of dialogue surrounding Tia Dalma's introduction in Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest.
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According to one annotated copy of Twelfth Night, the following conversation is actually about having sex with prostitutes:
More glaringly, when Malvolio reads the fake letter supposedly from Olivia, he notes her handwriting by her "C"s, her "U"s, and her "T"s, from which she makes her great "P"s. Need it be mentioned that "cut" was old-timey slang for a woman's private parts?
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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Romeo and Juliet: The line from Mercutio "O Romeo, that she were! Oh, that she were/An open arse, and thou a poperin pear". The "open arse" is a reference to the medlar fruit, but there is no such thing as a "poperin pear". Separate the syllables, though, and you get "pop 'er in", which means these lines are about... things to do with a lady's rear end.
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In Henry IV there is a whole speech full of prostitute jokes at the beginning of the second scene in the first act.
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Back to the Future:
There's this (non-sexual) exchange from the first movie that's puzzling to modern audiences. (Pepsi Free has long since been discontinued, so the fifties waiter's interpretation becomes younger viewers' as well. As for Tab, it still exists but is far less common — and many younger viewers might only know it from Homestuck.)
Ever wonder why Buford Tannen kept referring to Marty as "dude" in Back to the Future Part III? During that time period, "dude" meant City Mouse (hence, a "dude ranch" is a ranch for "dudes", i.e. tourists). Considering Marty is from The '80s, it's odd that he doesn't lampshade how that word changed. For the record, "dude" had acquired its current meaning, at least among hipsters, by the 1960s. The 1969 movie Easy Rider lampshades this.
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The Gorgo episode of MST3K featured a whole running gag on a character named "Dorkin."
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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Ever wonder why Buford Tannen kept referring to Marty as "dude" in Back to the Future Part III? During that time period, "dude" meant City Mouse (hence, a "dude ranch" is a ranch for "dudes", i.e. tourists). Considering Marty is from The '80s, it's odd that he doesn't lampshade how that word changed. For the record, "dude" had acquired its current meaning, at least among hipsters, by the 1960s. The 1969 movie Easy Rider lampshades this.
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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In King Lear Edmund's line "Yours in the ranks of death!" is actually a Elizabethan era euphemism or pun for an orgasm or sex in general.
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Any time the word "horns" shows up in Elizabethan English (particularly in The Merry Wives of Windsor), it's usually a reference to adultery. To cheat on your husband was to make him a "cuckold," a reference to cuckoos, which lay eggs in other birds' nests to raise. A cuckolded man is said to have Cuckold Horns, which are actually a reference to stags, who can lose their mate if they are defeated by another male. If a man is said to have horns, it means his wife is sleeping around.
This was alluded to in a scene in Hamlet, in which Hamlet wigs out on Ophelia and accuses her of a number of various nasty, sexual things. One of those things was "Men know what monsters you make of us!", which refers to the cuckold's horns.
"Horns" shows up in this sense in George R. R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire.
It's also used for symbolism regarding house Baratheon, whose sigil is is a stag. Robert Baratheon's wife Cersei cheats on him with her own brother, Renly Baratheon's wife Margaery eventually marries two of his rivals, Joffrey and Tommen; Renly himself cheats on Margaery with her brother Loras, but she doesn't seem to mind too much. Stannis's wife Selyse doesn't cheat on him at all, but the Lannisters create propaganda saying she did.
Memorably used in an obscure gag in The Simpsons, as Homer sees a cuckoo clock in an unfaithfulness situation.
In this case, quite possibly the Simpsons episode is referencing Joyce's Ulysses, in which a cuckoo clock chimes three times when a character realizes he's being cuckolded.
French horns are used very often in opera to comically announce that a character is being cuckolded (or thinks he is).
There's a very good pun in Les Liaisons Dangereuses where Valmont mentions that he's going to visit a nobleman with an extensive forest that he maintains for the benefit of his friends. The French for "forest" is le bois. The French for "horns" is les bois. Mme. de Merteuil writes back to him that the nobleman is a friend to the entire world.
"How fitting that Lord Auberon is horn'd" in The Books of Magic
The prank of holding two fingers behind someone's head as their picture is being taken is a reference to cuckold's horns. Americans know the prank as "bunny ears," but in other cultures it means your wife is cheating on you.
Apparently, this is present in alien languages as well, as mentioned in an episode of Stargate SG-1, where the Jaffa word "Kelmar'tokim" is translated as "revenge by the wearer of horns" and is first mentioned when Teal'c finds out that his wife had their marriage annulled to marry a friend of his. Justified, since the Jaffa are Transplanted Humans, whose language has probably evolved from an Earth one. However, the word is used in another episode to mean a more generic revenge without reference to any sexual betrayal (namely, Teal'c swears Kelmar'tokim on the Goa'uld who murdered his father).
Averted in most Hispanic countries, where "Ponerle el cuerno" (Spanish for "Putting the horn on him/her") is still common slang for cheating today.
Also averted in Russian, where the word for cuckold is "rogonosets", which translates as "wearer of horns".
In Polish as well, which has "rogacz" ("a horned one") as a word for a cuckold, and the phrase "przyprawić komuś rogi" ("to put horns on somebody"), meaning to make a cuckold of a man.
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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In The Bible, the phrase "And Adam knew his wife" sounds innocent enough, until you learn that in Hebrew, there are two words for "know": one applies to people, and the other applies to inanimate objects. If you use the second to apply to a person, it becomes a euphemism for sex. And now you know. To be fair, the meaning is rather obvious—the next few words are, "and she conceived a son". This one seems to have come full circle, as "knew her in the Biblical sense" has entered the popular lexicon. Still, some translations render such pages into the contemporary English phrases for clarity. This is also the basis of the legal term "carnal knowledge".
The Biblical sense of "know" appears in the play The Crucible. One of the most dramatic lines is this:
The Bible: The Complete Word of God (abridged) naturally brings this in:
The song "If It Isn't Her" by Ani Difranco has the lyrics: "She says, 'Do I Know You'. I say, 'Well, not biblically.'"
In an obscure Radio 4 comedy featuring Hugh Grant, "The Crusader Chronicles", there was a marvelous exchange, as depicted here:
There is also that bit of dialogue surrounding Tia Dalma's introduction in Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest.
Also used in this manner in Double Take, when Orlando Jones's character Daryl is being held in a Mexican police station after he pretends to be Eddie Griffin's character Freddie (who's wanted for assassinating a Mexican governor). A woman with a child shows up, whom Daryl recognizes from a party. Surprised, he tells her he knows her. She then claims that he's the father of her child. He tries to deny this to her and the police chief, who points out that Daryl just said he knew her. Daryl explains that he knows her, but not in "the Biblical sense". Crying, the woman tells him that he knows her "mucho times".
Jack Chick used this in one of his tracts about the tale of Sodom and Gommorah, with a side of Don't Explain the Joke
Chances are that Chick felt the need for that hilarious aside because he heard theories that the crimes of the mob weren't necessarily homosexuality and he wanted everyone to be damned sure that it was. Yeah. Never mind that Sodom's crimes were a) rape, not sex, and b) violating the laws of hospitality, per Ezekiel 16:49 and several other places…
One of Garth Ennis' war stories has a captured Nazi Nobleman tell a British soldier he might have known his father at Eton. "If you mean in the biblical sense, I believe you. Father's proclivities never cease to amaze me."
And getting back to Shakespeare's Hamlet, though he probably didn't mean it that way, considering the scene:
This also puts the TV Tropes phrase "Get Known" in a whole new light...
 Get Thee to a Nunnery / int_a5549ed0
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Get Thee to a Nunnery / int_a5549ed0
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
 Get Thee to a Nunnery / int_a5b2a1f7
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The Biblical sense of "know" appears in the play The Crucible. One of the most dramatic lines is this:
 Get Thee to a Nunnery / int_a5b2a1f7
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Get Thee to a Nunnery / int_a5b2a1f7
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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Sixteen Candles, when the brother says in regard to Long Duck Dong, "At least you don't have to sleep under a guy named after a duck's dork!"
 Get Thee to a Nunnery / int_a6e37aa4
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Get Thee to a Nunnery / int_a6e37aa4
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
 Get Thee to a Nunnery / int_a78cc92f
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Jack Chick used this in one of his tracts about the tale of Sodom and Gommorah, with a side of Don't Explain the Joke
Chances are that Chick felt the need for that hilarious aside because he heard theories that the crimes of the mob weren't necessarily homosexuality and he wanted everyone to be damned sure that it was. Yeah. Never mind that Sodom's crimes were a) rape, not sex, and b) violating the laws of hospitality, per Ezekiel 16:49 and several other places…
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The Song of Solomon (or Song of Songs, depending on your translation) consists entirely of explicit love poetry. Taste of my garden, indeed.
"I sat down in his shadow [i.e., sat down while he was standing up] …and his fruit was sweet to my taste." Goodnight everybody!
"My beloved put his hand by the hole [of the door] and my bowels were moved for him." That has to actually mean more than it lets on. note No, the speaker didn't actually soil herself—"Bowels" was Hebrew for "heart." At the same time… he has his hands inside her "hole" and her insides "moved".
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The Taming of the Shrew:
That's even worse than is implied so far! Kissing ass has a certain set of meanings in the modern era, but in those days it was the sign of a witch or warlock's devotion to and service to the Devil. In other words, Petruchio was demonizing her.
Yet another meaning to it: "Tail" was also an euphemism for vagina (yes, apparently the term is really that old). It's a joke about cunnilingus!
Almost every argument Kate and Petruchio have would fit this. There's also this:
This would be referring to women having ("bearing") children, and being expected to hold ("bear") her husband's weight during sex.
 Get Thee to a Nunnery / int_b23379ff
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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Came up by accident in a 1980 Peanuts storyline, where Lucy teaches Charlie Brown an (initially) unhittable pitch called the "Schmuckle Ball". The choice of name is a portmanteau of "schmush" (Schultz's spelling) and "knuckle", but it's rather like singing the "Name Game" song with "Chuck"...
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Get Thee to a Nunnery / int_b2ac2311
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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This also puts the TV Tropes phrase "Get Known" in a whole new light...
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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The webcomic Elf Only Inn makes use of this tidbit when chatroom maker Lord Elf tries to get the Lord of Dorkness banished, and uses his name as justification:
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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Done deliberately in the Flashman novels. Flashman uses "bouncers" as a euphemism for breasts, which was genuine Victorian slang. Today, of course, a "bouncer" refers to a certain employee at a bar or club.
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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The Great Gatsby's Daisy believes that the title character made his fortune from 'drugstores' when in fact he had been a bootlegger. Her confusion is bound-up with the sometimes more than ten-fold growth in chain drugstores during Prohibition when the greater part of their business was often in the sale of legal (if barely), doctor-prescribed, 'medicinal' liquor.
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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In this case, quite possibly the Simpsons episode is referencing Joyce's Ulysses, in which a cuckoo clock chimes three times when a character realizes he's being cuckolded.
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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And a line in The Sandman (1989)'s "A Game of You", originally published in 1991:
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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Towards the end of Mary Poppins, the joke where Constable Jones tells his superior to "go fly a kite", then quickly backpedaling with "No, sir, I didn't mean YOU personally...", is often lost on modern audiences. The phrase was once used as a family-friendly version of "Go fuck yourself," but is almost never used this way today.
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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Tristram Shandy has a lot of fun with the fact that, at the time it was written, the word "hobby-horse" could mean either "obsession" or "prostitute".
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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Bizarrely, and probably unintentionally, used in 1941 (1979). In a deleted scene, Sgt. Tree says he's going to "ream" Sitarski for vanishing during tank maintenance. The common usage of 'ream', to mean 'rebuke', didn't come into American vernacular until 1950. In 1941, however, 'ream' was just coming into usage as a vulgar slang term for anal sex.
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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Similarly, any Shakespearean reference to "stones" is likely to be an anatomical Double Entendre.
An interesting question arises: Has this usage returned (in the 19th century through today) or did it always remain current? This usage also appears in the King James Bible, so at least the usage has generally been available, if not actually used, the whole time.
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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Some Biblical pages have been sanitized by translators. One example is in 1 Samuel 20:41: the King James version is (greeting Jonathan) "David arose out of the place… and fell on his face to the ground, and bowed himself three times; and they kissed one another, and wept one with another, until David exceeded." More conservative commentators claim that "exceeded" means that he became overly emotional, but at least one rabbi has claimed that in the original Hebrew, the last two words are really "David enlarged"—in other words, "David had an erection."
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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Also used in this manner in Double Take, when Orlando Jones's character Daryl is being held in a Mexican police station after he pretends to be Eddie Griffin's character Freddie (who's wanted for assassinating a Mexican governor). A woman with a child shows up, whom Daryl recognizes from a party. Surprised, he tells her he knows her. She then claims that he's the father of her child. He tries to deny this to her and the police chief, who points out that Daryl just said he knew her. Daryl explains that he knows her, but not in "the Biblical sense". Crying, the woman tells him that he knows her "mucho times".
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The following is a list of statements referring to the current page from other pages.

 Get Thee to a Nunnery
processingCategory2
Language Tropes
 Get Thee to a Nunnery
processingCategory2
Time Marches On
 Get Thee to a Nunnery
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Values Dissonance
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
 Singin' in the Rain / int_95d67d24
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Get Thee to a Nunnery
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Get Thee to a Nunnery