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Gift-Giving Gaffe

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A gift giving occasion has arisen. A birthday, the annual Tropenalia festival, that winter holiday that may or may not be Christmas. Or maybe somebody just feels generous because things are going well and they love their friends.
When the gift is given it is one of the following:
Something the giver likes and would love to have themselves, but the recipient will not really appreciate.
In particularly malicious cases, it may be that the gift-giver effectively bought the present for themselves and expects the recipient to "share."
Something that is probably practical and useful, but likely insulting to the recipient.
The practical gift could also be a subtle dig if the giver is a bit of a Jerkass.
The practical gift could also be a cry for help from one partner or team member to another.
Something the giver attaches great sentimental value to, but is just about worthless to anyone else.
Something that has a cultural meaning that the recipient doesn't take well, which the giver is unaware of (For example, in some cultures, giving a knife, which can be a perfectly practical gift in some circumstances, can represent the severing of a relationship).
This trope is mainly used to illustrate clueless or thoughtless gift-giving, especially in the case of one who gives the gift that is more a gift to themselves than a gift to the recipient. Problematic elements of this trope include sexism which affects men and women both:
The idea that men have no idea what to get for the women in their lives even when they love them dearly, so get them gifts they know deep down aren't what the woman really wants.
The idea that women only want shiny, expensive things, and resent being given "practical" gifts because they reinforce "a woman's place is in the kitchen/home"
In games that include gift-giving as a way to influence Relationship Values, poorly-chosen ones may have a negative effect as a reflection of this trope.
Compare with Convenience Store Gift Shopping, where the giver barely cares at all, and Gift of the Magi Plot where the giver cares a great deal. See also the Homemade Sweater from Hell, a gift almost guaranteed to cause a gaffe. Compare Crappy Homemade Gift.
Supertrope to Gift for an Outgrown Interest. Sister Trope to Unwanted Gift Plot, wherein the giver is sincerely and with care aforethought trying to get a nice gift they believe the recipient will love, but they're unfortunately very mistaken; and with My New Gift Is Lame which is also a sincere gift given that the recipient does not love.
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2024-04-15T22:16:00Z
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Strawberry Shortcake: Berry in the Big City
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The Bob Newhart Show: Bob gives Emily a blender for their fifth anniversary, which compounds some issues she's already having about getting older.
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In The Namesake, Gogol's girlfriend buys a large and overly elaborate present for his parents, despite him telling her that it isn't necessary. Although they don't openly hate it, they're clearly indifferent rather than impressed.
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The Simpsons:
"Life on the Fast Lane": Homer was notorious for giving Marge gifts that she would never use and he would then 'borrow' for his own use. It was quite obvious that he was just buying these things for himself. Marge finally had enough when he bought her a customized bowling ball with the name "Homer" painted on it. To teach him a lesson, she decides to learn bowling and uses the ball herself.
In "White Christmas Blues", Lisa buys thoughtless gifts for her family, like a pack of mushroom seeds for Homer and a copy of Treasure Island for Bart, that are more in tune with her likes. Bart even tells her that she really bought those gifts for herself.
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Stardew Valley has an extensive gift-giving mechanic and will have you committing Gift-Giving Gaffes aplenty the first time you play. Townsfolk often randomly dislike some item that you might've thought was a good gift, like a fruit or a cooked meal. On the flip side there's nothing nobody likes ("one man's trash is another man's treasure"); even commonplace forage items like Leeks and Joja Cola can be given to someone.
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On Peep Show, when Mark and Jeremy exchange Christmas stockings, it awkwardly turns out that Jez has put a lot of money and effort into Mark's, whereas Mark has gotten Jez kitchen tongs ("we need them") and firelighters ("in case we get a barbecue").
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In Ghastly's Ghastly Comic, Nort gives Glemph a Japanese porno on his birthday, under the mistaken impression it's a taped cooking show due to I Read That As. Glemph refuses to speak to him for hours afterwards.
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In "White Christmas Blues", Lisa buys thoughtless gifts for her family, like a pack of mushroom seeds for Homer and a copy of Treasure Island for Bart, that are more in tune with her likes. Bart even tells her that she really bought those gifts for herself.
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Gina and Boyle try to invoke this on Brooklyn Nine-Nine, after their parents start dating. They peek at the gift Boyle's dad is giving her mom, an electric scale. Averted in that Gina's mom actually loves it.
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In Iron Man, he outright forgot her birthday and she bought herself an expensive dress on his dime.
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In Iron Man 2, he buys her strawberries as an apology present, forgetting that she's deathly allergic to them.
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Averted at the end of Iron Man 3 when Tony gives Pepper a necklace made from the shrapnel that had been, until then, lodged in his chest. She seems to appreciate that particular gift.
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In Roots of Pacha, each villager has gifts that they love, like, are neutral to, dislike, and hate. Figuring out their most favorite gifts takes a bit of guesswork since you can only give up to two gifts to someone per week. Thankfully, some villagers give you hints towards other villagers' favorite and least favorite gifts, while all their reactions towards the gifts you've given them are recorded in their profiles.
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Normally Hermione gives her friends birthday/Christmas presents that they like, but in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, she gives Harry and Ron homework planners for Christmas. They don't like the gift, and at one point, Harry privately makes a note to drop the planner in the fireplace after Hermione reminds him to write down a homework assignment he planned to do later in it.
Of course, it's not so much the planner itself they don't like. It's more the fact that the things had been enchanted to spout sickeningly-cutesy rhymes, chiding them for slacking off and not doing their homework.
Lavender giving Ron a "My Sweetheart" necklace is another example.
Hagrid usually gives Harry good presents, but sometimes his view on what's appropriate (or safe) can be skewed. One year, he gave Harry a wallet with fangs. While the fangs would have been useful in foiling robberies, it also kept Harry from putting money inside without losing fingers. And let's not forget the memorable year he sent a copy of "The Monster Book of Monsters"... While that book was one of his textbooks and would work as a gift since Harry would require the book anyways, it was Hagrid teaching the class that year and his bright idea to assign the book in the first place, instead of a less overtly dangerous textbook.
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Ayakashi Triangle:
Ever since Matsuri was turned into a girl, Reo's made a habit of giving him feminine, often revealing clothing he's not remotely comfortable wearing. She even "updates" Matsuri's ninja suit as a birthday present, only for him to later discover she turned it into a Chainmail Bikini.
Rochka's birthday present is a replica of a rare figurine for Matsuri's favorite manga. The problem is, it was made of ice.
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In A Little Night Music, Madame Armfeldt tells her granddaughter about something of this sort that happened to her when she was a young Gold Digger, and her First Love, a Croatian count, gave her a wooden ring:
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The titular character of Luann is a singularly awful gift-giver. One year she gave her best friend Bernice a giant empty cardboard box which she called a "Big Box of 'Sorry'", as in she was apologizing for acting self-centered over the past year. To reiterate: she gave an apology as a Christmas present. She also gave her friend Delta a sweater... which was actually Delta's sweater, which Luann had borrowed long ago and never returned. Luann considered returning a borrowed sweater to be her gift to Delta. She's also "regifted" items already given previously: she once asked her father what she had given him last year (a book) and then upon hearing the answer, found it on the shelf and wrapped it up to give to him again (knowing he hadn't read it before and wouldn't read it this time either.) She also once left for a shopping trip to get her family members their gifts, warning them not to expect much because of how hard they were to shop for. Upon returning with bags full of items and seeing their excited faces, she let them know that she hadn't actually bought them any gifts; these were just things she got for herself.
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A rather unusual example comes from W.I.T.C.H.; no matter what the other Guardians plan to gift Hay Lin for her birthday, somehow she manages to buy it for herself shortly before her birthday, resulting in this. On one occasion they had found a gift they knew she didn't have, namely the tickets for a concert the day of her birthday, and called the ticket office to buy the last five only for someone to buy them in person. So they resort to other gifts, wondering how many gaffes they will have that year... and discover that for once Hay Lin didn't already have their gifts, but was instead the one who bought the tickets.
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In an episode of Schitt's Creek Johnny gives Stevie a set of garish make-up, which she interprets as him suggesting she change her looks. Alexis assures her Johnny is just really bad at gift-giving, having once given David an entire (unwanted) basketball court, causing David to break his own nose.
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A particularly absurd example: on one episode of The Noddy Shop, a woman comes into a toy store where she's been told are many good things to buy her young nephew who she is not at all close to. The shopkeeper suggests a variety of fun, adorable and entertaining looking toys, but she doesn't think any of them look right. Then she sees the Antique Cuckoo Clock hanging on the wall...
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Lucky Star:
For Kagami and Tsukasa's birthday, Konata gives them gifts related to cosplay with the intention of forcing them into it, with Kagami receiving Haruhi Suzumiya's Red Armband of Leadership and Tsukasa receiving Akari Kamigishi's uniform, much to her embarrassment and the anger of Kagami. This is put in contrast with Miyuki, who gives the twins a pair of matching earrings, a much more thoughtful gift that both of them enjoy.
This runs in the Izumi family, as a flashback shows Soujiro giving his now deceased wife Kanata a Gundam model for her birthday, much to her embarassment.
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Steven Universe:
"Barn Mates": in an attempt to be friends with Lapis (and make up for imprisoning and interrogating her previously), Peridot gives her own personal swimming hole, but since she forgot that Lapis was trapped underwater for months, it failed. Peridot then tries to give Lapis her tape recorder, on Steven's suggestion that she should give her something personal. Lapis just crushes it in her hand and tells her to get lost.
"Three Gems and a Baby": The Crystal Gems try to get Christmas presents for baby Steven, but since their race doesn't have a concept of childhood (all Gems are born as adults), they have no idea what gifts are appropriate to get for a baby. Garnet's gift is a shaving razor (that he'll need in the future, but not at his present age), Amethyst's is a box of adult sized diapers (which she figures he can shapeshift to fit into, like all Gems), and Pearl's is a dictionary ("Obviously, it's the best gift for a being that can't yet communicate.")
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In I Was a Teenage Exocolonist, there are some gifts that your friends don't like, deducting points from their heart meters, but you can avoid giving them the wrong gifts the next time around because they're recorded in their profiles.
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Better Call Saul has Jimmy set up a burglary at an office building that goes badly awry when it turns out the owner is staying there all night. Why? Apparently he thought a vacuum cleaner would be a romantic gift, and his wife was not pleased.
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In The Wrong Trousers, Wallace gives Gromit the Techno Trousers as a present, but it's obviously for the purpose of saving him the burden of taking his dog out for walks.
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Iron Man: A running gag in the films is that Tony Stark is terrible at buying gifts for Pepper.
In Iron Man, he outright forgot her birthday and she bought herself an expensive dress on his dime.
In Iron Man 2, he buys her strawberries as an apology present, forgetting that she's deathly allergic to them.
In Iron Man 3, he buys her an enormous stuffed bunny for Christmas that barely fits in the house and that she does not like.
Averted at the end of Iron Man 3 when Tony gives Pepper a necklace made from the shrapnel that had been, until then, lodged in his chest. She seems to appreciate that particular gift.
In Avengers: Endgame, Tony is building the Rescue Suit as an anniversary present (an odd choice since Pepper's a Wet Blanket Wife that disapproves of Tony being Iron Man). Tony lampshades this trope as Pepper "never wears what I buy her anyway", though in a subversion Pepper does end up donning the suit in the climax of the movie.
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Hawkeye (2021): One of the Tracksuit Mafia goons confides to Kate Bishop (who's currently being held prisoner) that he and his girlfriend have fallen out because he got her tickets to see Imagine Dragons, a band that he likes and she doesn't. Kate tells him to apologize for giving his girlfriend a present that was obviously meant for him and not her. In the series finale, the goon tells Kate that he took her advice and made up with his girlfriend by getting her tickets for Maroon 5 (who she does like) instead.
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The Brittas Empire: Gordon Brittas gives his wife Helen a moped (complete with tacky "Hi, I'm Helen" helmet) for her birthday, thinking that it would resolve the issue of her having to ask for the car. This displeases Helen so much that she almost leaves him.
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In Superman: Secret Identity, everyone in Clark Kent's family shares the same sense of humour as the parents who named him Clark Kent, and every birthday and Christmas he gets a ton of Superman merch that he doesn't want, and doesn't even find funny. He mellows a bit on this as he grows up, and has grown to accept it by the time his daughters start doing it.
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In Street Fighter 6's World Tour mode, one of the ways the Avatar can increase their bond levels with their masters is through giving them gifts. All of them have unique dialogues for when you give them a specific Ultra-rare gift item and more often than not, the gift you're giving them in particular is something that either scares them (Red Elevator 8 for Luke), is disgusting to eat (Canned Herring for Chun-Li), or just offends them (Cookbook for Ken). Despite said gifts in particular being repugnant to their recipients, this ironically increases their bond level even faster than when giving them other gifts, aside from one-time unique gifts that can only be obtained in completing the side missions from other masters.
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In the Dishonored fanfiction Diplomatic Gestures, Hiram Burrows gives Corvo Attano a gift upon his appointment to Lord Protector. It's a brand-new audiograph—for a man he knows is mute.
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There was an episode of Family Matters where Carl bought his wife a trampoline because she had complained that she needed a way to exercise more, but then she got upset that he must think she's fat. It blew over once Carl apologized, mentioned that he sometimes struggles with his weight too (throughout the entire show he's clearly much more overweight than she is), and suggested they both use it and just have fun with it instead of worrying about whether it produces weight loss or not.
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In The Venture Bros.. episode, "The Diving Bell Vs The Butter-Glider" super villain King Gorilla is paroled on medical grounds. He has lung cancer, uses an oxygen tank and is gaunt. At his welcome back party, The Monarch and Dr. Mrs. The Monarch give him a carton of smokes. Needless to say, it doesn't go over well with everyone looking at the couple angrily. The Monarch can only offer a weak "I didn't know."
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In Avengers: Endgame, Tony is building the Rescue Suit as an anniversary present (an odd choice since Pepper's a Wet Blanket Wife that disapproves of Tony being Iron Man). Tony lampshades this trope as Pepper "never wears what I buy her anyway", though in a subversion Pepper does end up donning the suit in the climax of the movie.
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In Crimson and Noire, Alix will often give gag gifts to her friends on their birthday. In return, they all get her similar gifts on her birthday. For example, a bag of rocks from Nino, a "You Must Be This Tall to Ride" sign from Kim, a handmade girl skirt from Marinette, a plush unicorn from Rose (the last two mismatching against a tomboy like Alix), and a makeup kit from Juleka (which Alix doesn't know how to use).
Since he is a newcomer, this gets Subverted on both sides by Adrien. She gave him a makeup gift as a joke for his birthday, but he thought it was genuine since it had a concealer that matched his skin tone. And for her birthday, he got her a pair of rollerblades he heard her want during a basketball game, but she freaks out since they were expensive and is worried she can't get a matching gift for his next birthday.
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In FoxTrot, Roger's history of gift buying for his wife Andy is less than stellar. Gifts include: an extension cord, a heart-shaped spatula (for Valentine's Day), a box set of The Three Stooges DVDs...the list goes on.
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In The House of Night, Zoey's birthday date is close to Christmas so her friends and boyfriend all give her Christmas-themed gifts like a scarf with a snowman stitched on it and a pearl necklace shaped like a snowman, not knowing that she hates these kind of gifts due to having received so many of them over the years.
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On SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick buys ice cream for himself and SpongeBob.
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Chandler is secretly in love with Joey's girlfriend and buys her a rare first edition of The Velveteen Rabbit (her favourite childhood book). The rest of the gang point out that if he gives her the book it's going to be obvious how he feels about her since Joey is notorious for getting his girlfriends bad gifts if he even bothers at all. Chandler tries to find a second, even better gift that Joey can give her but fails, so he lets Joey give her the Velveteen Rabbit. Kathy immediately works out what happened because Joey doesn't know anything about the book.
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Syera of Springhole notes that when predators give gifts, they usually mean them as a personal jab to the recipient, giving a deodorant bar to imply the recipient smells bad, as an example.
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My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic:
"The Secret of My Excess":
Rainbow Dash flies over Spike's head and drops her gift for him on top of the pile: a dumbbell tied with a bow — there has been some fandom speculation that as an athlete, Rainbow just picked something out of her gym she doesn't use much and stuck a bow on it. Although then again, Spike has admitted in the past that he likes flexing in front of a mirror... (then again, it is his first birthday in Ponyville so they really didn't know what to give him, with gems probably not being special enough).
Twilight Sparkle is the clueless gift giver. She likes books, so why in Equestria wouldn't anypony else like books?! She only realizes her mistake at Spike's birthday party. This is more blatant because she has known Spike longer and having given Spike a book for his birthday despite surrounded by them growing up and living in a library, it makes it seem like she didn't try hard to find out what he wanted.
Twilight has repeatedly remarked on how seriously she takes being Princess of Friendship... but even after many occasions to observe Spike's likes and tastes, she still is giving him books as gifts. This could be justified by concern of his draconian greed getting out of hand, though.
Although she is the spirit of generosity, Rarity still has occasional difficulty with this, tending towards type 1 version of this trope; when she's apologizing to Sweetie Belle for getting angry at her in "Sisterhooves Social", she suggests a trip to the spa, something Rarity herself would very much enjoy, but something that Sweetie Belle probably couldn't care less about. Naturally, all the other ponies start laughing their heads off at the suggestion.
"Castle Sweet Castle" plays this trope straight and averts it. In an attempt to make Twilight's castle look more appealing to Twilight, the others decide to decorate it. The trope being played straight ends up with a room filled with everything more geared to the five and not to Twilight. However, it's averted when you find out they split up and decorated certain rooms separately, leading to more sensible design decisions.
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In Kitty Powers' Matchmaker, your client can give their date a gift, but giving them something that isn't suited to their Type will earn you a strike, and candidates of higher affluence hate cheap gifts.
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With her first paycheck, Haruka of Girls Kingdom gave her mistress and partner in comedy, Inaho, a kindergarten outfit and backpack as a joke about her height. It didn't land as she would have hoped, however, as, unbeknownst to Haruka at the time, Inaho is rather sensitive about her height. When Inaho calmed down, though, she did appreciate the thought and the joke at least.
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Bumblebee: Charlie has asked for a car for her 18th birthday. She gets the gaffe from both barrels.
Her mom nixes the idea due to money shortage (though she can pay for her younger child's karate). Charlie is a gearhead tomboy. Her mother instead gives her a girly, flowered helmet to wear on her moped.
Charlie's new stepfather does one worse. He gives Charlie, who is not done grieving her biological father's death, a self help book telling her to smile more. The fact that he does this without a trace of irony or meanness but genuinely believes in it just rubs it in further how the rest of her family has moved on emotionally without her.
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On Strawberry Shortcake Berry Bitty Adventures: Blueberry gives Lemon a gift of a book that she'd like but Lemon would not. Blueberry liked this gift so much that she had to remind herself it was a gift for a friend rather than keeping it for herself. Lemon doesn't care for it and regifts the book which starts a pattern of regifting because nobody wants it, and Blueberry, realizing her mistake, goes back and gives Lemon a book she actually would like.
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As mentioned in the page quote, Dimitri from Fire Emblem: Three Houses once gave a dagger to a girl that he liked as a going-away present when they were children. Sylvain won't let him forget it, and even Dimitri himself admits it was an Epic Fail in hindsight. It makes more sense once we learn that the recipient was Edelgard, who ended up keeping the dagger and taking the meaning behind it (that she should cut her own path in life) to heart.
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In Footrot Flats, Wal once gave his girlfriend Cheeky Hobson a frypan wrapped up with a yellow bow for her birthday. It wound up wrapped around his head.
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Tangled: The Series: In the story "Guardian's Day" from the issue "Hair It Is", Cassandra is shown to be a bad gift-giver.
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Frasier has multiple examples:
On a Christmas Episode, Frasier spends the whole time trying to find awesome, intellectual gifts for his son, only to find out at the end that what his son wants is the trendy robot Frasier had derided for not being "stimulating" enough. Martin gives him An Aesop about how Frasier is always doing things like that - like giving Martin nice a smoking jacket that he's never going to use, because Frasier likes them.
Another episode later involves Martin trying to do something nice for Frasier and Niles by buying them artworks and wine-racks that Martin likes but that Frasier and Niles find hideous. (In the case of the artwork, Martin thought Frasier liked it because he claimed he did while buttering up the maitre d' at a restaurant where it was on display).
Evidently, Frasier didn't listen, as a later episode has him and Roz discussing how Roz's unwanted collection of ceramic animals got destroyed in an "earthquake". After a moment, Frasier recalls how his last Christmas gift to her was also destroyed in said earthquake. They agree to just send one another booze next time... but another episode shows he forgot this. Learning from his mistakes is not one of Fras's defining attributes.
In one episode Daphne gives Martin a sweater just because. Martin gets irritated as now he feels he has to get her something in return, even though she insists otherwise. He eventually buys her a massive basket of bath items which is worth far more than the sweater. After a brief argument they agree to keep their gifts because they were both just trying to be nice.
Played with in a season 7 episode. Donny returns from a tractor pull and shows Niles the John Deere cap he's going to give to Daphne. Niles, being Niles, is horrified until Donny admits it's just a joke gift.
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On Friends Joey gave Chandler a heavy gold bracelet that said "Best Buds" on it. It looks like "a reject from the Mr T collection", and doesn't even fit Chandler.
Rachel distributes a list of acceptable gifts two weeks before her 30th birthday. Her boyfriend Tag goes off-list and buys her a micro scooter. As Rachel thanks him through gritted teeth Ross leans in and offers Tag some advice.
Monica and Rachel decide to throw Phoebe a baby shower while she's acting as a surrogate for her brother and sister-in-law. Rachel points out that traditional baby shower gifts are going to be in poor taste as Phoebe can't keep the babies or the gifts. They decide to tell the guests to instead bring Phoebe gifts she can use after her pregnancy like alcohol or regular coffee. When Phoebe opens her gifts she gets upset anyway because it's going to be months before she can actually use any of it.
Chandler is secretly in love with Joey's girlfriend and buys her a rare first edition of The Velveteen Rabbit (her favourite childhood book). The rest of the gang point out that if he gives her the book it's going to be obvious how he feels about her since Joey is notorious for getting his girlfriends bad gifts if he even bothers at all. Chandler tries to find a second, even better gift that Joey can give her but fails, so he lets Joey give her the Velveteen Rabbit. Kathy immediately works out what happened because Joey doesn't know anything about the book.
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The question of "What do you get a billionaire?" comes up on Succession a couple times:
In the pilot, Connor gives his father Logan Roy some sourdough starter, which Logan unimpressedly refers to as "goo" and "old bread."
Roman tries to buy his father ownership in Hearts FC, his childhood soccer team, only to learn that Logan actually supports Hibs, not Hearts.
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The following is a list of statements referring to the current page from other pages.

 Gift-Giving Gaffe
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Comedy Tropes
 Gift-Giving Gaffe
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Index Failure
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Gift-Giving Gaffe
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Gift-Giving Gaffe
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Gift-Giving Gaffe
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Gift-Giving Gaffe
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Gift-Giving Gaffe
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Gift-Giving Gaffe
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Gift-Giving Gaffe
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