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I Do Not Own

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Fanfic writers frequently see the need to begin their fiction with statements that look sort of like the page quote, usually as part of the Fanfic Header, but it can also be found in the descriptions for fan art and/or fan comics. These disclaimers are not only completely useless from a legal point of view — in fact, they might even be counterproductive — but they're also generally redundant, especially if posted on a website like FanFiction.Net which already includes its own well-written legal disclaimers.
This kind of "I Do Not Own" disclaimer comes from a misunderstanding of copyright law; fanfic writers seem to believe that it's concerned with taking credit for someone else's work.note High school English class is a particular culprit, as teachers will often admonish plagiarism by pointing out that it's also copyright infringement, but students don't grasp that there's a difference between the two. So as long as she is explicit that she didn't create the characters or setting, she's not taking credit for the work, and is thus home free. The problem is that copyright law is concerned with protecting the original author's rights, whether or not the fanfic writer takes credit for the work. You can be liable for copyright infringement as long as the creator of the original work loses money because of your fic. (This can happen even if you don't charge for your fanfic; the rights holder can argue that he could have written your story just as easily and charged money for it, except your free version is there, so now he can't.) Some fanfic authors try to head off legal consequences by pointing out that they have little, no, or negative assets; this never works because rights holders don't care about your assets so much as protecting their own assets and stopping you from doing further damage.
The point is that this kind of "I do not own" disclaimer doesn't really improve your legal situation if you're a fanfic writer. It may even make it worse; if you admit that you don't own the original work, it's much harder to claim that you didn't realize it was copyrighted by someone else. And "willful infringement" of copyright — i.e. you've been told that you're violating copyright, but keep doing it anyway — leads to triple damages, and if you point out from the start that you don't own the work, you may be starting at willful infringement. (On the other hand, the disclaimer also implies that you think what you're doing is legal, so then that's not "willful infringement". You see why good lawyers are so expensive?)
So all of this raises a question: if almost every fan-created piece of art infringes on copyright, disclaimers or not, then why is it still so prolific? Because of Sturgeon's Law; a good ninety percent of this fan stuff is utter crap. It's not nearly good enough to even dent the revenues of the original work — this realization goes back to Star Trek fan magazines in the 1970s (which, incidentally, is also the origin of this sort of disclaimer). What can lose a rights holder money, though, is the terrible publicity from suing a fanfic author. People who have never seen the original work before would certainly not check it out if they thought the rights holder was a litigious jerk. It might drive current fans of the original work away out of retaliation for such an act of cruelty, or out of fear that they'll be sued for liking the work "the wrong way." Most rights holders don't mind fanfic because it helps consolidate the fan community in general; those who do are rare enough to be listed on Fanwork Ban, and many of them have more ethical than legal reasons to do so. Rights holders tend to be more proactive where the fan work can actually lose them revenue (like homemade video games), but they tend to start with a Cease and Desist order in those cases in the hopes that the parties can reach a mutually acceptable conclusion.
Regardless, it's generally accepted from both sides these days that the original creators can and should look the other way when it comes to people creating fan work of their original content if the fans are doing it out of passion and not a desire to profit off of someone else's work. Thus, the "I Do Not Own" disclaimers are more of a tradition than an attempt at legality. They are often used to show gratitude to the original creators for giving us the original work; some compare them to Homer's invocation of the muse. Some authors also use them to clearly demarcate which elements of their story are canonical and which are invented (e.g. "I don't own any of these characters, except my Author Avatar"). As such, people frequently use vague, cutesy, or parody disclaimers, along these lines:
 I Do Not Own
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CuriositiesOfLotusAsia
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DBTropes
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I Do Not Own
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From this Digimon fanfic:
 I Do Not Own / int_1a4b3ea2
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 Digimon (Franchise)
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I Do Not Own
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"I don't own (emotion, I) RENT" is seen probably half of all RENT fanfics out there. Clever and funny the first time, mildly annoying the fiftieth.
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 RENT (Theatre)
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 I Do Not Own / int_1b386512
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I Do Not Own
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The Ranma ½ Elsewhere Fic Boy Scouts ½ ends each story with such a disclaimer. Early stories were just a brief note saying something to the effect that the story used elements of Ranma ½ without permission, and also that the story was not directly affiliated with or meant to directly represent the values of the Boy Scouts of America. Very quickly these post story notes expanded to also provide various anecdotal authors notes, and to occasionally disclaim additional things when homages to things other then Ranma ½ occurred.
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 I Do Not Own / int_2275c659
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I Do Not Own
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Paraphrase: "I do not own the characters in House. I do own the complete sets of DVDs. One cancels out the other." Found on "Casualty" by Angelfirenze, an "M"-rated House "Fix Fic" running in an Alternate Universe.
 I Do Not Own / int_2275c659
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1.0
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 House
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I Do Not Own
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On the poster of How I Became Yours: Rise of the Agni Army, author Jackie Diaz wrote, in a stunning display of class:
 I Do Not Own / int_25ca9558
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1.0
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 How I Became Yours: Rise of the Agni Army (Webcomic)
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I Do Not Own
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Atop the Fourth Wall: Linkara generally plays this straight in his reviews; in Amazons Attack! reviews, he used several variations, such as:
 I Do Not Own / int_309df9ea
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1.0
 I Do Not Own / int_309df9ea
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 Atop the Fourth Wall (Web Video)
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I Do Not Own
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Parodied by the Naruto fanfic Naruto: the Secret Songs of the Ninja, where the first chapter starts with a normal one of these before breaking off half-way through to incredulously ask what the point is of stating something every reader already knows. Chapter 2 followed up on this and each successive chapter comes up with a new joke:
The author also did something similar in his debut short story where he started by declaring that he was in fact Masashi Kishimoto, a fact that had been kept from him by his parents for his own safety for his entire life, and therefore he does own Naruto, before going on to explain that he's being sarcastic "for the terminally sarcasm-blind".
He does the same thing again in For Love:
 I Do Not Own / int_30a5ebfd
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1.0
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 Naruto (Manga)
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I Do Not Own / int_30a5ebfd
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I Do Not Own
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The author's note to the fifth chapter of Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles disclaims ownership of the "original books" in these exact words.
 I Do Not Own / int_355a1bef
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1.0
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 Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles (Fanfic)
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I Do Not Own
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A student-made film, parodying Angels & Demons, mentions the plan to immediately file for bankruptcy should any company sue, thus wiping out their student loans. It's posted on Youtube here.
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I Do Not Own
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From another Harry Potter fic:
 I Do Not Own / int_3b34143f
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1.0
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 Harry Potter
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Harry Potter Becomes a Communist opens with:
 I Do Not Own / int_3e771cd5
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1.0
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 Harry Potter Becomes A Communist / Fan Fic
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I Do Not Own
 I Do Not Own / int_4064e1e8
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For a number of Tin Man fanfictions by animegus farmus, there are some rather entertaining disclaimers:
 I Do Not Own / int_4064e1e8
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 I Do Not Own / int_4064e1e8
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 Tin Man
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I Do Not Own
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The author of The Dresden Files in fact only allows fanfics if they include a proper disclaimer, so all fanfic will have this sort of disclaimer by default.
 I Do Not Own / int_41b0198a
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1.0
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 The Dresden Files
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I Do Not Own / int_41b0198a
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I Do Not Own
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In one Mythical Detective Loki Ragnarok fic, the author exclaims that her attempt to claim legal ownership of the Norse Gods resulted in her brother's car being blown up and her getting sued in multiple dead languages. Oh yeah, and the original mangaka's characterizations don't belong to her either.
 I Do Not Own / int_42557b28
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 Mythical Detective Loki Ragnarok (Manga)
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Not so much a disclaimer as an hopeful lawsuit deterrent, one Supernatural fic featured the header, "Our porn makes more people watch your show."
 I Do Not Own / int_43576f5
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1.0
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 Supernatural
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Hellsing Ultimate Abridged has a different character read the disclaimer at the start of every episode. When it's Jan Valentine's turn, he stops midway and turns it into a series of crude (and lewd) remarks vaguely based on it.
 I Do Not Own / int_4f1098ae
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 Hellsing Ultimate Abridged (Web Video)
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I Do Not Own
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Kaikisimoto's Digimon Adventure abridged series encourages viewers to "support the non-existent official release."
 I Do Not Own / int_5c600b17
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 Digimon Adventure
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I Do Not Own
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Dragon Ball Z Abridged has its disclaimers narrated by a different character each time, usually someone who's about to have something nasty happen to him in the episode to follow.
 I Do Not Own / int_63230cb
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1.0
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 Dragon Ball Z Abridged (Web Video)
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I Do Not Own
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Parodied by EATATAU!!!, which has a sidebar on every page of the website with a Long List of things that Games Workshop, rather than the author, doesn't own, including things like "Eldar" and "Space Marine" that are Older Than They Think.
 I Do Not Own / int_66a4ecc8
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 EATATAU!!! (Webcomic)
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He does the same thing again in For Love:
 I Do Not Own / int_6f30206a
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 I Do Not Own / int_6f30206a
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 For Love (Fanfic)
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From MLIA-Anime's Haruhi Suzumiya fanfic A Memorable Moment:
 I Do Not Own / int_755fadab
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1.0
 I Do Not Own / int_755fadab
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 Haruhi Suzumiya
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I Do Not Own
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In Evaporate, Nerv puts a disclaimer like this at the end of his Fan Film while missing the point of having it and Not Helping His Case.
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 Evaporate (Web Animation)
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Death Note fanfics tend to have disclaimers along the lines of "If I owned Death Note, [character X] would still be alive" or "I do not own Light, but he probably owns me." The first and only disclaimer of Kira Is Justice ends with "And remember, this will be the last time you'll be seeing this."
 I Do Not Own / int_8ba4613a
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 Death Note (Manga)
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The Kim Possible Crack Fic Morning, Pumpkin features many amusing examples of this:
 I Do Not Own / int_90a3a7f4
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1.0
 I Do Not Own / int_90a3a7f4
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 Kim Possible
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In the Naruto fanfic True Potential, every chapter starts out with one in some form, with DryBoneKing sometimes jokingly trying to buy out the rights from Masashi Kishimoto.
 I Do Not Own / int_959f1374
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1.0
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 Naruto (Franchise)
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Touhou Project:
ZUN, creator of the series, requests that you do this. Most disclaimers are something along the lines of "Warning: This is a derivative work of Touhou Project. It contains scenarios which differ considerably from the original work, and should not be taken as an accurate depiction of its characters or setting. Please proceed with caution if you wish to preserve your image of the original works. If you dislike such fanworks, please [do not continue reading/press the back button on your browser/etc.].".
ZUN himself did this in Curiosities of Lotus Asia, not with a character or a universe (Touhou being a doujin series), but with a Game Boy.
 I Do Not Own / int_a6543322
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 Touhou Project (Franchise)
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Both Rakenzarn Tales and Rakenzarn Frontier Story both open with the same disclaimer: "This story has no relations with any existing series. Except for a few Original Characters, most characters appear in this game are owned by their respective owners."
 I Do Not Own / int_b4622158
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 Rakenzarn Tales (Video Game)
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Sonic the Hedgehog webcomic series Sonic Wrecks has long and detailed copyright disclaimers at the bottom of each comic, filled with shout outs and more jokes tying into the comic itself.
 I Do Not Own / int_b4967d43
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 Sonic the Hedgehog (Franchise)
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My Immortal does this many times when quoting song lyrics.
 I Do Not Own / int_b5134390
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 My Immortal / Fan Fic
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I Do Not Own
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After the removal of Sailor Moon Abridged from YouTube, that exact quote is the first thing added to the episodes, accompanied by a picture of Raye and the word "Fags".
 I Do Not Own / int_b55114e6
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1.0
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 Sailor Moon Abridged (Web Video)
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From a The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen fanfiction, Beyond Family:
 I Do Not Own / int_b6d60e4
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 The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
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One Love Hina fanfic has a disclaimer which reads, in its entirety, "Myuuuuu!"
 I Do Not Own / int_b98da5d2
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1.0
 I Do Not Own / int_b98da5d2
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 Love Hina (Manga)
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Summed up pretty well at the start of Dogma:
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 Dogma
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The opening disclaimer for The Misadventures of R2 and Miku, among other things, states this:
 I Do Not Own / int_b9d9facf
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 The Misadventures of R2 and Miku (Web Animation)
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In the My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic fanfic It Takes a Village, they get insaner each chapter. Most take the "wish I did" tone, until:
 I Do Not Own / int_c4282b71
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At the bottom of every page of the Doctor Who fanfic archive A Teaspoon And An Open Mind is a disclaimer reading:
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Naruto: The Abridged Comedy Fandub Spoof Series Show also narrates its disclaimer with a different character each time and refers to itself as a "fan-based parody of a fan-based parody".
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 Naruto: The Abridged Comedy Fandub Spoof Series Show (Web Video)
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On the intro pages to each of the Empath: The Luckiest Smurf stories on Vic George's Imaginarium:
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 Empath: The Luckiest Smurf / Fan Fic
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Second Wind's author tries to come up with a different witty disclaimer for every chapter. In Chapter 18, he says he’s running out of material.
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The disclaimer on a website devoted to the TV reality competition The Amazing Race:
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1.0
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 The Amazing Race
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From a Portal fanfic "SEXY TIEMUU" describing the horrors of Portal fandom:
 I Do Not Own / int_dc25de3f
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1.0
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Doraman: The video descriptions say that Doraman does not have the rights to Doraemon.
 I Do Not Own / int_e4ba32e9
featureApplicability
1.0
 I Do Not Own / int_e4ba32e9
featureConfidence
1.0
 Doraman (Web Video)
hasFeature
I Do Not Own / int_e4ba32e9
 I Do Not Own / int_f81d1cc6
type
I Do Not Own
 I Do Not Own / int_f81d1cc6
comment
The Private Diary of Elizabeth Quatermain has this disclaimer:
 I Do Not Own / int_f81d1cc6
featureApplicability
1.0
 I Do Not Own / int_f81d1cc6
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Private Diary of Elizabeth Quatermain / Fan Fic
hasFeature
I Do Not Own / int_f81d1cc6
 I Do Not Own / int_fae48d18
type
I Do Not Own
 I Do Not Own / int_fae48d18
comment
An interesting variant occurs in The Prayer Warriors:
 I Do Not Own / int_fae48d18
featureApplicability
1.0
 I Do Not Own / int_fae48d18
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Prayer Warriors (Fanfic)
hasFeature
I Do Not Own / int_fae48d18
 I Do Not Own / int_fb9c177d
type
I Do Not Own
 I Do Not Own / int_fb9c177d
comment
One Transformers fic has this disclaimer:
 I Do Not Own / int_fb9c177d
featureApplicability
1.0
 I Do Not Own / int_fb9c177d
featureConfidence
1.0
 Transformers (Franchise)
hasFeature
I Do Not Own / int_fb9c177d

The following is a list of statements referring to the current page from other pages.

 I Do Not Own
processingCategory2
Fanfic Tropes
 I Do Not Own
processingCategory2
Older Than Radio
 KiraIsJustice
seeAlso
I Do Not Own
 The Fanmake Blooper Series / Fan Fic / int_7b46c762
type
I Do Not Own
 The Private Diary of Elizabeth Quatermain / Fan Fic / int_7b46c762
type
I Do Not Own
 A Decent Self-Insert, Probably (Fanfic) / int_7b46c762
type
I Do Not Own
 A Hunter's New Home (Fanfic) / int_7b46c762
type
I Do Not Own
 A Slightly Different Team (Fanfic) / int_7b46c762
type
I Do Not Own
 Eddward Wright: Ace Attorney (Fanfic) / int_7b46c762
type
I Do Not Own
 Fox in the Bunnyhouse (Fanfic) / int_7b46c762
type
I Do Not Own
 Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles (Fanfic) / int_7b46c762
type
I Do Not Own
 It Takes a Village (Fanfic) / int_7b46c762
type
I Do Not Own
 Mario and Sonic: Heroes Unite! (Fanfic) / int_7b46c762
type
I Do Not Own
 October Project (Fanfic) / int_7b46c762
type
I Do Not Own
 Phantom's Secret Diary (Fanfic) / int_7b46c762
type
I Do Not Own
 Ripples in the Pond (Fanfic) / int_7b46c762
type
I Do Not Own
 The Prayer Warriors (Fanfic) / int_7b46c762
type
I Do Not Own
 Tokimeki PokéLive! and TwinBee (Fanfic) / int_7b46c762
type
I Do Not Own
 Yu-Gi-Oh! Forever (Fanfic) / int_7b46c762
type
I Do Not Own
 TheRussianBadger (Lets Play) / int_7b46c762
type
I Do Not Own
 Dream / int_7b46c762
type
I Do Not Own
 FanficHeader
seeAlso
I Do Not Own
 Micah
seeAlso
I Do Not Own
 Friday Night Funkin': Breaker Bundle (Video Game) / int_7b46c762
type
I Do Not Own
 Rakenzarn Tales (Video Game) / int_7b46c762
type
I Do Not Own
 Elemental Goddess (Web Animation) / int_7b46c762
type
I Do Not Own
 Evaporate (Web Animation) / int_7b46c762
type
I Do Not Own
 Haloid (Web Animation) / int_7b46c762
type
I Do Not Own
 Wordgirl: REWIRED (Web Animation) / int_7b46c762
type
I Do Not Own
 Doraman (Web Video) / int_7b46c762
type
I Do Not Own
 Gargoyles Abridged (Web Video) / int_7b46c762
type
I Do Not Own
 HellsingAbridged
seeAlso
I Do Not Own
 Hellsing Ultimate Abridged (Web Video) / int_7b46c762
type
I Do Not Own
 Naruto: The Abridged Series (Web Video) / int_7b46c762
type
I Do Not Own
 None Piece (Web Video) / int_7b46c762
type
I Do Not Own
 puppetaemon (Web Video) / int_7b46c762
type
I Do Not Own
 Sailor Moon Abridged (Web Video) / int_7b46c762
type
I Do Not Own
 Strawberry Dragon Project (Web Video) / int_7b46c762
type
I Do Not Own
 EATATAU!!! (Webcomic) / int_7b46c762
type
I Do Not Own
 Undocumented Features / Fan Fic / int_7b46c762
type
I Do Not Own