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I Would Say If I Could Say
- 373 statements
- 71 feature instances
- 34 referencing feature instances
| I Would Say If I Could Say | type |
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| I Would Say If I Could Say | label |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say | page |
IWouldSayIfICouldSay | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say | comment |
This is a kind of wordplay joke you find characters using, on themselves or others, about how a common expression is very appropriate to the situation at hand... but not for them, since they can no longer use it without it being technically incorrect or highly ironic. Another way to do this is to "fix" the expression so that it works unironically, which changes the expression into a suspiciously off statement for those who have no clue about the character. For example: An undead could say "The city at night is so beautiful it takes my breath away... if I still breathed, anyway." Or an atheist might exclaim "Oh your God, what have you done?!" "This is an outrage; I won't stand for this! ... And not just because I'm in a wheelchair." And to use the trope name: "I would say this is impossible, if it hadn't already happened." For this humor to work, the audience has to know enough about the character to see why the normal statement wouldn't apply. It's not a very difficult task if it can be known just from looking at them or watching them for a bit, but if the relevant bit of background is subtle or requires knowing Backstory the joke can get lost to new viewers. Alternately, a character can be introduced using this kind of humor so the audience and fellow cast can learn something about them, be it that they're somehow different or prone to offbeat humor. If it takes a few episodes for the joke to pay off, it becomes funnier in repeat viewings. Not to be confused with Could Say It, But.... Compare Insult Backfire and Asymmetric Dilemma. Compare and contrast Forgot He Was a Robot. |
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| I Would Say If I Could Say | fetched |
2024-03-16T04:15:13Z | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say | parsed |
2024-03-16T04:15:13Z | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say | processingComment |
Dropped link to AsymmetricDilemma: Not an Item - FEATURE | |
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| I Would Say If I Could Say | isPartOf |
DBTropes | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_11b7db91 | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_11b7db91 | comment |
Adventure Time has this exchange between Marceline and her father in "It Came from the Nightosphere": | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_11b7db91 | featureApplicability |
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| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_11b7db91 | featureConfidence |
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| Adventure Time | hasFeature |
I Would Say If I Could Say / int_11b7db91 | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_142ee5a5 | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_142ee5a5 | comment |
Kingdom Hearts II has Saïx, a being without a heart and therefore no emotions. | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_142ee5a5 | featureApplicability |
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| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_142ee5a5 | featureConfidence |
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| Kingdom Hearts II (Video Game) | hasFeature |
I Would Say If I Could Say / int_142ee5a5 | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_1a044a10 | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_1a044a10 | comment |
In Return to Oz, the flying Gump says as they fall to their Doomâ„¢, "If I had a stomach, I know I'd be sick!" | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_1a044a10 | featureApplicability |
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| Return to Oz | hasFeature |
I Would Say If I Could Say / int_1a044a10 | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_1dedf61a | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_1dedf61a | comment |
From the Space Ghost Coast to Coast episode "Chambraigne" has Carl and Little Carl, a pair of giant floating brains, with this exchange: | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_1dedf61a | featureApplicability |
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| Space Ghost Coast to Coast | hasFeature |
I Would Say If I Could Say / int_1dedf61a | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_1e7ca85f | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_1e7ca85f | comment |
Hercules: "My friends call me Meg. At least, they would if I had any friends." | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_1e7ca85f | featureApplicability |
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| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_1e7ca85f | featureConfidence |
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| Hercules | hasFeature |
I Would Say If I Could Say / int_1e7ca85f | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_20ac8a71 | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_20ac8a71 | comment |
Two examples in Doom Patrol from early November 2009: In the main story, the Black Lantern, Negative Woman says, "I can't for the life of me understand why. Ah, perhaps 'life' was not the best choice of word." In the Metal Men backup strip, Doc Magnus says, "My God (Metaphorically speaking. I don't actually believe in the existence of a supreme being)! What happened here?" |
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| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_20ac8a71 | featureApplicability |
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| Doom Patrol (Comic Book) | hasFeature |
I Would Say If I Could Say / int_20ac8a71 | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_21938c93 | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_21938c93 | comment |
In Avengers: Age of Ultron, Ultron makes his opinion known: | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_21938c93 | featureApplicability |
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| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_21938c93 | featureConfidence |
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| Avengers: Age of Ultron | hasFeature |
I Would Say If I Could Say / int_21938c93 | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_2212773a | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_2212773a | comment |
From Angel: | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_2212773a | featureApplicability |
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| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_2212773a | featureConfidence |
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| Angel | hasFeature |
I Would Say If I Could Say / int_2212773a | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_24e41891 | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_24e41891 | comment |
Dexter does this a lot in voice over, referring to his lack of emotional reactions. Of his adoptive sister, he says "I don't have feelings, but if I could have feelings, I would have them for Deb." | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_24e41891 | featureApplicability |
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| Dexter | hasFeature |
I Would Say If I Could Say / int_24e41891 | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_25dce724 | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_25dce724 | comment |
Sparkling Generation Valkyrie Yuuki is fighting the Aurochs, a giant bull, ineffectively. She does a power slide beneath him and smacks his meatballs with her hammer. | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_25dce724 | featureApplicability |
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I Would Say If I Could Say / int_25dce724 | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_261c8d3f | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_261c8d3f | comment |
The Simpsons: Tom: "Bart, I could kiss you... If Bigger Brothers hadn't made me sign a form promising I wouldn't." In "Worst Episode Ever", Comic Book Guy has a stress-induced cardiac episode. When he tells Dr. Hibbert he runs a comic book shop, the doctor says they would call said job "the widowmaker" if any of the people who had it had wives. Once, a gay character said to Lisa, "If I was a straight 8-year-old boy, I'd be so holding your hand right now." Lindsay Naegle: "This is where the tears would be if I could cry. But I can't; botched facelift." |
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| The Simpsons | hasFeature |
I Would Say If I Could Say / int_261c8d3f | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_2ae406c1 | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_2ae406c1 | comment |
In Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri: | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_2ae406c1 | featureApplicability |
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| Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri (Video Game) | hasFeature |
I Would Say If I Could Say / int_2ae406c1 | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_30065ab | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_30065ab | comment |
Cuphead parody animation "The Cursed Thirst" has Cuphead die after drinking away the contents of his own head. The next scene has Mugman and the Elder Kettle standing solemnly at Cuphead's grave, when his ghost pops up and yells at Mugman to revive him. | |
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I Would Say If I Could Say / int_30065ab | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_30d9627b | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_30d9627b | comment |
In The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (1978), Marvin says, "Well, excuse me for breathing, which I never do anyway so I don't know why I bother to say it. Oh, God, I'm so depressed." There was also his speech for the opening of the new bridge on Sqornshellous Zeta. |
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I Would Say If I Could Say / int_30d9627b | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_3953ed64 | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_3953ed64 | comment |
There is this exchange between a disembodied character and an animated skeleton in A Modest Destiny: | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_3953ed64 | featureApplicability |
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I Would Say If I Could Say / int_3953ed64 | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_3adfb1ba | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_3adfb1ba | comment |
In the House of Mouse episode "Halloween with Hades" has Hades give two such quotes. | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_3adfb1ba | featureApplicability |
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I Would Say If I Could Say / int_3adfb1ba | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_3db944d2 | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_3db944d2 | comment |
Emily in Corpse Bride has the "take my breath away" variant. | |
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| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_3db944d2 | featureConfidence |
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| Corpse Bride | hasFeature |
I Would Say If I Could Say / int_3db944d2 | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_3ddddb25 | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_3ddddb25 | comment |
In Xiaolin Showdown, as Wuya returns to a corporeal form: | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_3ddddb25 | featureApplicability |
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| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_3ddddb25 | featureConfidence |
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| Xiaolin Showdown | hasFeature |
I Would Say If I Could Say / int_3ddddb25 | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_41b0198a | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_41b0198a | comment |
In The Dresden Files novel Ghost Story, Harry, currently a ghost, uses the undead version: "Centuries from now, who knows? Maybe magic will have the side effect of making you really good-looking and popular with the opposite sex - but I'm not holding my breath. I mean, you know. I wouldn't be. If I still had any." | |
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| The Dresden Files | hasFeature |
I Would Say If I Could Say / int_41b0198a | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_468bebb0 | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_468bebb0 | comment |
Discworld: Gaspode The Wonder Dog is fond of mutating the expression "pull the other one, it's got bells on" to "pull one of the others, it's got bells on", since being a dog he has four legs. This almost gets him caught when he has to pass for human in The Truth. In Jingo, a watchman says "well, at least we're all still breathing" and resident zombie (and Zombie Advocate) Reg points out that this is a "vitalist remark." Death, essentially a walking robe-wearing skeleton, does this in Hogfather: |
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| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_468bebb0 | featureApplicability |
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| Discworld | hasFeature |
I Would Say If I Could Say / int_468bebb0 | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_4b5e321c | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_4b5e321c | comment |
Doc McStuffins, rescuing her stuffed dragon from a puppy: "Sorry, Rudy, but Stuffy's not a toy. *beat* Well, not a dog toy." | |
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I Would Say If I Could Say / int_4b5e321c | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_4e45b093 | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_4e45b093 | comment |
The Big Bang Theory: Leonard the shy physicist guy asked Penny the beautiful neighbour out, but she's not aware that it's a romantic date. When Leonard prepares, he's pretty stressed out. His room-mate Sheldon the insufferable genius offers possible outcomes: first one that alcohol and poor judgement might work for Leonard's benefit, or that there will be a string of awkward meetings in the hall until one of them moves to another zip code. | |
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| The Big Bang Theory | hasFeature |
I Would Say If I Could Say / int_4e45b093 | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_50bcf7a6 | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_50bcf7a6 | comment |
Doc Scratch of Homestuck will be keeping an eye, which he doesn't have, on the clock, which he doesn't need. | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_50bcf7a6 | featureApplicability |
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| Homestuck (Webcomic) | hasFeature |
I Would Say If I Could Say / int_50bcf7a6 | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_541a1c1 | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_541a1c1 | comment |
Used from time to time in Mysticons in regards to General Dreadbane. "Sisters in Arms": "The Dragon's Rage": |
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| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_541a1c1 | featureApplicability |
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| Mysticons | hasFeature |
I Would Say If I Could Say / int_541a1c1 | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_58d80a4a | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_58d80a4a | comment |
In Jingo, a watchman says "well, at least we're all still breathing" and resident zombie (and Zombie Advocate) Reg points out that this is a "vitalist remark." | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_58d80a4a | featureApplicability |
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I Would Say If I Could Say / int_58d80a4a | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_59da62aa | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_59da62aa | comment |
A variation in Fallout: New Vegas, with Mr. House using some proverbs that haven't aged well every now and then. | |
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| Fallout: New Vegas (Video Game) | hasFeature |
I Would Say If I Could Say / int_59da62aa | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_5a2333ef | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_5a2333ef | comment |
There's a variation in LittleBigPlanet; the narrator doesn't contradict himself or his existence, but rather gets contradicted by the fact that, well, sack people were harmed. | |
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| LittleBigPlanet (Video Game) | hasFeature |
I Would Say If I Could Say / int_5a2333ef | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_5c208620 | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_5c208620 | comment |
Superman: The Animated Series: Luthor, discovering who his kidnapper is, exclaims "Brainiac!", to which Brainiac replies "in the flesh, so to speak". Metallo uses the same joke in another episode. | |
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| Superman: The Animated Series | hasFeature |
I Would Say If I Could Say / int_5c208620 | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_63230cb | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_63230cb | comment |
Dragon Ball Z Abridged has the following gem from Dr. Gero after Android 19 finally gets the upper hand against Goku. | |
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| Dragon Ball Z Abridged (Web Video) | hasFeature |
I Would Say If I Could Say / int_63230cb | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_6336da47 | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_6336da47 | comment |
In There Is No Game: Wrong Dimension, after the player unscrews an eye icon from behind the scenes of the game: | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_6336da47 | featureApplicability |
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| There Is No Game: Wrong Dimension (Video Game) | hasFeature |
I Would Say If I Could Say / int_6336da47 | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_63409895 | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_63409895 | comment |
Sofia the First: | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_63409895 | featureApplicability |
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I Would Say If I Could Say / int_63409895 | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_72262aee | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_72262aee | comment |
Avatar: The Last Airbender: Toph has never been shy about pointing out her blindness, including a line expressing frustration of Ba Sing Se's social rigidity: | |
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I Would Say If I Could Say / int_72262aee | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_7460586f | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_7460586f | comment |
In Archer, "Placebo Effect": | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_7460586f | featureApplicability |
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| Archer | hasFeature |
I Would Say If I Could Say / int_7460586f | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_74a8ffce | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_74a8ffce | comment |
Mack narrates, in The Automatic Detective: despite his vow to keep his nose clean, "which should have been easy, since I didn't have a nose", he heard something break in the apartment and had to investigate. | |
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I Would Say If I Could Say / int_74a8ffce | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_79328e7 | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_79328e7 | comment |
In the Wacky Races episode "Creepy Trip to Lemon Twist", one ghost says to the other, "I'd be bored out of my skull... if I had a skull." | |
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I Would Say If I Could Say / int_79328e7 | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_7bff7264 | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_7bff7264 | comment |
In Halo: Combat Evolved: | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_7bff7264 | featureApplicability |
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| Halo: Combat Evolved (Video Game) | hasFeature |
I Would Say If I Could Say / int_7bff7264 | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_7d4d7d22 | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_7d4d7d22 | comment |
In the Casper movie, Cat gets in an argument with the the Ghostly Trio and tells them to "Drop dead!", to which they retort "Too late!" | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_7d4d7d22 | featureApplicability |
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I Would Say If I Could Say / int_7d4d7d22 | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_893f66b7 | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_893f66b7 | comment |
In Jason X, the android Kay-Em gets her head knocked off by Jason during the climactic battle. After Jason is killed at the end, Kay-Em's disembodied head is being carried by one of the other surviving heroes, and she states, "I'd clap, if I could." | |
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I Would Say If I Could Say / int_893f66b7 | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_9004922f | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_9004922f | comment |
Death, essentially a walking robe-wearing skeleton, does this in Hogfather: | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_9004922f | featureApplicability |
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| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_9004922f | featureConfidence |
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I Would Say If I Could Say / int_9004922f | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_90a3a7f4 | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_90a3a7f4 | comment |
Kim Possible: In the episode where she first meets Felix, Kim is overly conscious of the fact that he's in a wheelchair (albeit an impressively tricked-out one), and keeps being over-helpful. Fortunately, he's amused rather than resentful: | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_90a3a7f4 | featureApplicability |
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I Would Say If I Could Say / int_90a3a7f4 | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_90b916ba | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_90b916ba | comment |
Batman: The Animated Series: Batman discovers Mr. Freeze's tragic backstory and is caught off-guard by Freeze's return: | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_90b916ba | featureApplicability |
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| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_90b916ba | featureConfidence |
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I Would Say If I Could Say / int_90b916ba | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_914ba844 | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_914ba844 | comment |
The Wizard of Oz: In the Cut Song "The Jitterbug", the Scarecrow says, "I haven't got a brain, but I think I ought to worry." Aunt Em to Almira Gulch "For twenty-three years, I've been dying to tell you what I thought of you, and now—well—being a Christian woman, I can't say it!" |
|
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_914ba844 | featureApplicability |
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I Would Say If I Could Say / int_914ba844 | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_9e2f90f4 | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_9e2f90f4 | comment |
Brook in One Piece, who is a skeleton, use any opportunity he finds to deliver one of his "Skull jokes": | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_9e2f90f4 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_9e2f90f4 | featureConfidence |
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I Would Say If I Could Say / int_9e2f90f4 | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_a183d57f | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_a183d57f | comment |
Futurama: The robot Bender often uses "Oh your God!" as an exclamation. Another Bender example: "I'm so excited I wish I could wet my pants." At one point Mr. Horrible Gelatinous Blob (who's in a bit of a bad mood) tells Cubert and Dwight (who broke his window and are apologising at their father's behest) to "Kiss my ass...which I don't have!", provoking a fight with Hermes and the Professor. |
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| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_a183d57f | featureApplicability |
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I Would Say If I Could Say / int_a183d57f | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_a1b53bd6 | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_a1b53bd6 | comment |
Beyond the Borders: Rachel thinks about Riley putting an idea in her head, and belatedly amends "...or whatever", since they're in the same head to begin with. | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_a1b53bd6 | featureApplicability |
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I Would Say If I Could Say / int_a1b53bd6 | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_ac0d8dc2 | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_ac0d8dc2 | comment |
In Scooby-Doo! and the Reluctant Werewolf, Dracula has an interesting remark to make about how much his minions, the Hunch Bunch, vex him. | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_ac0d8dc2 | featureApplicability |
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I Would Say If I Could Say / int_ac0d8dc2 | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_c4282b71 | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_c4282b71 | comment |
From the My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic episode "A Bird in the Hoof", where Twilight Sparkle tries to convince Fluttershy to show a sickly bird some "tough love": | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_c4282b71 | featureApplicability |
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I Would Say If I Could Say / int_c4282b71 | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_c43df4d8 | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_c43df4d8 | comment |
A variation of this is found in Doctor Who, with the Fourth Doctor telling a girl "You're a beautiful woman... probably." In "Voyage of the Damned", the Tenth Doctor discovers the man trying to sabotage the Starship Titanic is Max Capricorn himself, who had run the company for decades as a disembodied cyborg head. |
|
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_c43df4d8 | featureApplicability |
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I Would Say If I Could Say / int_c43df4d8 | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_cb339e98 | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_cb339e98 | comment |
The Horse and His Boy: Decidedly not Played for Laughs between Prince Rabadash and his father, the Tisroc (may he live forever), when the former tries to persuade the latter to declare war against Narnia, though he pragmatically refuses. | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_cb339e98 | featureApplicability |
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I Would Say If I Could Say / int_cb339e98 | |
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I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_cbd30f6b | comment |
In the Maryoku Yummy episode "Sound Advice", Baburu, seeing Hadagi pull out an accordion, comments, "It's times like this I wish I had hands to cover my ears." | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_cbd30f6b | featureApplicability |
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I Would Say If I Could Say / int_cbd30f6b | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_ce2c3c13 | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_ce2c3c13 | comment |
Murray the talking skull from The Curse of Monkey Island is the butt of a few jokes like this. | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_ce2c3c13 | featureApplicability |
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| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_ce2c3c13 | featureConfidence |
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I Would Say If I Could Say / int_ce2c3c13 | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_d46beefd | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_d46beefd | comment |
In Wild Wild West, when Arliss Loveless reveals that he wasn't actually killed in the Civil War, he declares himself "alive and kicking!" Being Half the Man He Used to Be, he then corrects himself: "well, alive, anyway!" | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_d46beefd | featureApplicability |
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I Would Say If I Could Say / int_d46beefd | |
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I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_d4f9ccf | comment |
In Aladdin after Crashing Through the Harem, Aladdin is hit with a broom by a matron who yells, "I'd blame parents except he hasn't got 'em!" | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_d4f9ccf | featureApplicability |
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I Would Say If I Could Say / int_d4f9ccf | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_d6778009 | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_d6778009 | comment |
In the Cabin Pressure episode "Gdansk", Douglas points out that he cannot honestly say "you win some, you lose some" to poor Martin. | |
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I Would Say If I Could Say / int_d6778009 | |
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I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_d6e2636b | comment |
In the Metal Men backup strip, Doc Magnus says, "My God (Metaphorically speaking. I don't actually believe in the existence of a supreme being)! What happened here?" | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_d6e2636b | featureApplicability |
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I Would Say If I Could Say / int_d6e2636b | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_d7c9f170 | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_d7c9f170 | comment |
In The Matrix Reloaded, Agent Smith (who's a computer program/virus) describes himself as "A new man, so to speak." | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_d7c9f170 | featureApplicability |
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I Would Say If I Could Say / int_d7c9f170 | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_d8c7398f | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_d8c7398f | comment |
From the 2010 Pound Puppies episode "Dog on a Wire": | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_d8c7398f | featureApplicability |
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I Would Say If I Could Say / int_d8c7398f | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_dc4363c5 | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_dc4363c5 | comment |
True Blood: Jessica Hamby, when unloading to Nan Flanagan about her boy troubles: | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_dc4363c5 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_dc4363c5 | featureConfidence |
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I Would Say If I Could Say / int_dc4363c5 | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_de00af4b | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_de00af4b | comment |
A variation in one episode of Care Bears: Adventures in Care-a-Lot: Pleased with a plan, Grizzle kisses UR-2, his robot minion. UR-2 is not pleased, and comments, "I'm sick to my stomach, and I don't even have one." | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_de00af4b | featureApplicability |
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I Would Say If I Could Say / int_de00af4b | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_e1c8fa4d | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_e1c8fa4d | comment |
Ducktalez: In the second episode, during the Zombie Apocalypse at Scrooge's mannor. | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_e1c8fa4d | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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I Would Say If I Could Say / int_e1c8fa4d | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_e25322af | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_e25322af | comment |
Homestar Runner: In the Strong Bad Email "too cool", an Easter Egg has F-Sack criticize a Piss-Take Rap done by "Couch Z". | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_e25322af | featureApplicability |
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I Would Say If I Could Say / int_e25322af | |
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I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_e293455a | comment |
From the musical episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, there's a number that goes, "If my heart could beat, it would break my chest." According to Spike, Andrew is "a breath of fresh air, isn't he? Thank God I don't breathe." |
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| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_e293455a | featureApplicability |
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I Would Say If I Could Say / int_e293455a | |
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I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_e3b8885 | comment |
In A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum there's this exchange between slaves Hysterium and Pseudolus when the former is Dragged into Drag: | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_e3b8885 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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I Would Say If I Could Say / int_e3b8885 | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_e960895 | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_e960895 | comment |
From Halloween Romance: "I defy any human being to fail to learn slow dancing. Then again, I'm technically not a human being anymore." | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_e960895 | featureApplicability |
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I Would Say If I Could Say / int_e960895 | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_ec27cf6d | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_ec27cf6d | comment |
A variant in Igor, where Scamper, a reanimated rabbit with an extreme Healing Factor; and Brain, exactly what the name implies; are trying to dismantle a doomsday device. Failing, Brain panics and exclaims, "We're all gonna die! Except you!" | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_ec27cf6d | featureApplicability |
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I Would Say If I Could Say / int_ec27cf6d | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_ed0803a7 | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_ed0803a7 | comment |
In Star Trek VI, when the crew of the Enterprise is ordered to go back to a star base to be decommissioned, Spock's reply is "If I were Human, I believe my response would be 'Go to Hell.' If I were Human." | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_ed0803a7 | featureApplicability |
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I Would Say If I Could Say / int_ed0803a7 | |
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I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_eea20f43 | comment |
In the first episode of Mao Mao: Heroes of Pure Heart, Sky Pirate Orangusnake addresses his crew, "Attention you scurvy dogs! And other creatures." | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_eea20f43 | featureApplicability |
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I Would Say If I Could Say / int_eea20f43 | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_f1d492d4 | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_f1d492d4 | comment |
In the third book of P.C.Hodgell's Chronicles of the Kencyrath series, Seeker's Mask, Jame, the heroine, trying to sort out how she's related to another character, in a culture that places a great deal of importance on blood relationships, says, "If I had a piece of chalk, I'd work it out on a wall, if I had a wall." | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_f1d492d4 | featureApplicability |
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I Would Say If I Could Say / int_f1d492d4 | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_f5db72f7 | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_f5db72f7 | comment |
In Sam & Max Hit the Road: | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_f5db72f7 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_f5db72f7 | featureConfidence |
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I Would Say If I Could Say / int_f5db72f7 | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_f60557db | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_f60557db | comment |
From 2007's Bionic Woman: | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_f60557db | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_f60557db | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| Bionic Woman | hasFeature |
I Would Say If I Could Say / int_f60557db | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_ff9ab17f | type |
I Would Say If I Could Say | |
| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_ff9ab17f | comment |
In one episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation, Data visits his birth planet (so to speak), and tells Picard, "I could say 'home, sweet home', sir. If I understood how the word 'sweet' applies." Also, Data once says "If I were not an android, I would find this entire process insulting." Inverted in another episode in which Q is Brought Down to Normal, where he says, "This is getting on my nerves, now that I have them!" |
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| I Would Say If I Could Say / int_ff9ab17f | featureApplicability |
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I Would Say If I Could Say / int_ff9ab17f |
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