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If You Die, I Call Your Stuff

 If You Die, I Call Your Stuff
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 If You Die, I Call Your Stuff
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If You Die, I Call Your Stuff
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IfYouDieICallYourStuff
 If You Die, I Call Your Stuff
comment
You are about to do something stupid and/or fatal, and your friends decide to show their support of said action by staking their claim to your possessions, or at least your good ones. The statements are usually made in jest, as a means of Gallows Humor as no one expects the character to actually die from the action. It may be related to Try Not to Die, under the assumption that you'll be less likely to get yourself killed if all these greedy beggars will be using and abusing your stuff if you do.
Advertisement:propertag.cmd.push(function() { proper_display('tvtropes_mobile_ad_1'); })Don't think, however, that this claim won't be invoked if in fact, you DO die (or appear to).
This is common both in and out of character in tabletop role-playing games, regardless of characters' supposed morals. In extreme cases, they might even plot to kill another player's character for it. This can also lead to conflicts of interest where a good roleplayer wants the stuff but has to play a character who would do anything to get their friend back.
If someone actually follows through on this, it may involve Robbing the Dead. Compare and contrast Where There's a Will, There's a Sticky Note and Personal Effects Reveal. See also Due to the Dead; actually looting the body is often regarded as an offense against it.
Compare Kleptomaniac Hero.
 If You Die, I Call Your Stuff
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2022-09-10T22:27:06Z
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2022-09-10T22:27:06Z
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DBTropes
 If You Die, I Call Your Stuff / int_106cc8b1
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If You Die, I Call Your Stuff
 If You Die, I Call Your Stuff / int_106cc8b1
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Natsume's Book of Friends: Madara/Nyanko-sensei tells everyone that the reason he sticks around Natsume so much is because he wants to take the Book of Friends once Natsume dies. It's probably a lie, though, since he could just kill Natsume and get it over with.
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In Exterminatus Now, after seeing how The Ace and his team are happy to be reunited with their demon hunter, we cut to our Dysfunction Junction team of protagonists at home, to contrast their *ahem* teamwork.
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In The Whiteboard, Roger detonates a Febreze bomb in Doc's office. When Doc emerges and grabs Roger to drag him off for a mauling, Roger calls for Swampy to avenge him. Swampy's response: "That depends. Can I have your PlayStation?"
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If You Die, I Call Your Stuff
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Questionable Content put their own spin on it here. The belongings of the prospective deceased will be split by lottery instead of being fought over.
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If You Die, I Call Your Stuff
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A variant of this happens in Wolf 359.
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If You Die, I Call Your Stuff
 If You Die, I Call Your Stuff / int_36ee2abe
comment
Bizarrely, Paranoia, the RPG most infamous for having players kill each other, averts this, largely to make all the dying everyone does less bad. (There's is indeed plenty of "stuff", but you probably don't want to take it.) You get given all your things back, even the experimental/illegal stuff, although, given the nature of death in Alpha Complex, it's likely that the only salvageable thing left of your old corpse is a set of Smoldering Shoes.
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If You Die, I Call Your Stuff
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Brother Voodoo, Black Panther [T'Challa], Blade and Luke Cage once teamed up to clean up an infestation of vampires in New Orleans and to save the amnesiac Photon. Around this time Panther had stolen the Ebony Blade from Marvel's Black Knight, and Blade was so impressed by it that he asked T'Challa to give it to him in his will. Blade is berated by his partners but just responds, "When you're immortal, you don't sweat the small stuff."
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If You Die, I Call Your Stuff
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In Dilbert, this is applied to layoffs. It goes a bit far in one incident where while Dilbert and Wally confine themselves to pilfering the ex-employee's office equipment and furniture, Alice goes and takes the man's pants. While he's on his way out the door.
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Garfield:
From the August 13, 1997 strip.
The November 23, 1997 strip.
In another Jon tells Garfield that he wrote his will and Garfield asks him if he can have the fridge.
 If You Die, I Call Your Stuff / int_44e0b783
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If You Die, I Call Your Stuff
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In Our Little Adventure, they meet another party like this, shortly after Pauline's death.
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If You Die, I Call Your Stuff
 If You Die, I Call Your Stuff / int_67cdde7d
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Combined with "Who are you and what have you done with...?" in a Dragon magazine The Order of the Stick strip, when Haley suggests leaving treasure behind.
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Shortpacked! here.
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A potential rules exploit, as new PCs can start with magic items in 3rd and 4th edition Dungeons & Dragons, since replacement characters usually start the same level as their player's previous character, with loot appropriate to their character level. The party gets to keep the old character's loot while the new character brings in new loot.
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Gone with the Blastwave: Idaho is a victim of this trope, even though he was Only Mostly Dead. This prompts Crosshair Guy to write a Try Not to Die note to himself.
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Things Mr. Welch Is No Longer Allowed to Do in an RPG: Mr. Welch gets in on this:
Also, his attempts go above and beyond mere looting:
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If You Die, I Call Your Stuff
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Girl Genius:
A minor character displayed fatally poor judgment by trying to take Sanaa Tryggvassen hostage. One of the other prisoners promptly calls "Requiescat in Pace and all that. Dibs on his boots!".
Later, the doctors Mittlemind and Mezzasalma cheerily harvest their colleague's organs when he dies. It's quickly noted that he would have done the same to them, and apparently stole Mezzasalma's pancreas when he got knocked unconscious one time.
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 If You Die, I Call Your Stuff / int_9ed98d50
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If You Die, I Call Your Stuff
 If You Die, I Call Your Stuff / int_9ed98d50
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In Erfworld, when Parson is pulled into Erfworld by Wanda's summoning spell, one of his fellow gamers' first comment is "Dibs on his dice."
 If You Die, I Call Your Stuff / int_9ed98d50
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If You Die, I Call Your Stuff
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Played straight in the fourth volume of Dorothy of Oz with Dopey asking Grumpy if he can have his helmet if said older dwarf dies after nearly being fried alive by Mara's lightning powers.
 If You Die, I Call Your Stuff / int_ac9f2d59
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If You Die, I Call Your Stuff
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Sally in Peanuts was constantly laying claim to Charlie Brown's room should something happen to him. When he returns after being almost washed out to sea on his pitcher's mound, she says "I suppose you're going to want your room back." Also, when he returns from getting lost in the woods looking for Snoopy, she notes that it'll take a while to move all her things (including the bed) out of his room. She also tries to move into his room when he goes to camp.
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In Foxtrot while Jason is acting as a Drill Sergeant Nasty football coach to Peter, he tells him "If you die I get your stereo."
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If You Die, I Call Your Stuff
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Warhammer 40,000:
Yes, Space Marine corpses are high priority targets for post-battle reclaiming by their Chapter... but it's because their armor and wargear are precious, irreplaceable relics that must be reclaimed so as to be passed on to another Space Marine, or avoid their being corrupted by Chaos. Even their bodies are taken, as each Space Marine grows two sets of the geneseed that powers their superhuman abilities, one of which is extracted to be implanted into an initiate.
Orks follow this religiously... they just don't always wait for the "if you die" part (or they ensure it happens themselves).
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The Yu-Gi-Oh! dub:
And The Abridged Series:
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If You Die, I Call Your Stuff
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This is a rule in Munchkin, indeed losing your gear is the only penalty for dying.
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If You Die, I Call Your Stuff
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Sgt. Frog: Keroro says that he will take Natsumi’s room if she falls to conquer Giroro's garden army in the dub of episode 55a.
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The following is a list of statements referring to the current page from other pages.

 If You Die, I Call Your Stuff
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Death Tropes
 If You Die, I Call Your Stuff
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Will and Inheritance Tropes
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If You Die, I Call Your Stuff
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If You Die, I Call Your Stuff
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If You Die, I Call Your Stuff
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If You Die, I Call Your Stuff
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If You Die, I Call Your Stuff
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If You Die, I Call Your Stuff
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If You Die, I Call Your Stuff
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If You Die, I Call Your Stuff
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If You Die, I Call Your Stuff
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If You Die, I Call Your Stuff
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If You Die, I Call Your Stuff
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If You Die, I Call Your Stuff
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If You Die, I Call Your Stuff
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If You Die, I Call Your Stuff
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If You Die, I Call Your Stuff
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If You Die, I Call Your Stuff
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If You Die, I Call Your Stuff