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Men Use Violence, Women Use Communication
- 321 statements
- 60 feature instances
- 45 referencing feature instances
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The main bulk of any narrative is that whatever conflict exists gets resolved, in either the hero's or villain's way. An action show would typically showcase some form of violence as a method of solving conflict, while a more dialogue-based show would showcase a form of compromise to have it resolved. Though there's a mindset out there that dictates that the process of conflict resolution is usually based on gender, with men being associated with violence and aggression and women being aligned with compromise and/or manipulation and this is applied regardless of what the show's genre is, which results in any of the following scenarios: | |
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Wonder Woman (1987): While the confrontation with the Sangtee Empire embodies this, with the all-female rebels refusing to kill and participating in all kinds of propaganda and other communication and ending the war with an agreement rather than a brutal military victory, there's also an indication that part of the problem with the Empire is systematic rather than relating to the differences between men and women, especially since the Kreel are actually natural sexshifters who have stopped and made being a woman illegal due to propaganda. | |
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The Mighty Thor #300: The Celestials are going to judge the worth of humanity in 1000 years. When the male leaders of the gods of Earth find out, they are sure it will end badly and plan to fight them. However, the female leaders decided to prove humanity's worth by gathering the best example of each human skill or art and making them immortal. Sure enough, when the Norse gods attack them they get curbstomped. Then Gaia shows up with the chosen humans, and convinces The Celestials to spare mankind. | |
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The final confrontation in one TaleSpin episode has Baloo ready to pummel his air race opponents (while dressed in drag—the only sponsor who'd spring for him was the Daughters of Aviation, as he was so unmanly he had a female boss). Rebecca (said boss) tells her pilot to stop, and they'd settle things 'like ladies'—and get the villains disqualified. | |
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Subverted in general by the reviewers of Channel Awesome, who whether male or female, prefer beating their enemies up. In the first year brawl event, The Nostalgia Chick, That Girl With the Goggles, MarzGurl, and Little Miss Gamer cheerfully join in on the fight, and Ask that Guy of all people ends up quietly talking everyone into getting along. | |
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Subverted in Zombie Ranch. During episode five, after the McCartys arrive at the ranch, Muriel McCarty is more than willing to do anything to get her way, including shooting Brett (one of the hands) and releasing zombies to attack him. Likewise, Suzie has no problem holding the McCarty boys at gunpoint. However, she still willing to discuss this until Muriel pushes her too far. Meanwhile Frank and Muriel's husband, Eustace McCarty end up negotiating, not that it ends up doing much good. | |
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WandaVision: Tyler Hayward and Monica Rambeau have different ideas of how to handle the fact that Wanda Maximoff is holding an entire town hostage. Hayward views Wanda as a terrorist threat that needs to be killed at the first opportunity because Wanda could spill the beans about his abuses of power, while Monica tries to reason with her. Inverted in the climax. Wanda and Agatha have the big battle in the sky, while the fight of the two Visions ends when Wanda's Vision talks his opponent into submission through a Ship of Theseus discussion. |
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On Star Trek: Picard, this gets inverted with the Romulan Brother–Sister Team Narek and Narissa. Narissa (the sister) deals with her enemies by punching, kicking, or outright shooting them, whereas Narek (the brother) favors more subtle manipulation and seduction. This gets combined with Brains and Brawn where Narek is the brains and Narissa the brawn, as demonstrated when they talk about a tan zhekran (basically a Romulan Rubik's Cube); Narek enjoys analyzing it and figuring out how to unlock it, while Narissa would rather smash it open. | |
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Lyrical Nanoha: Nanoha Takamachi tends to find herself resorting to violence when communication breaks down (hint: it always does). Especially prevalent in the second season, with quotes like 'Listen... to me!' delivered in the midst of unleashing a cannon blast. | |
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Inverted in Shin Megami Tensei I. The male main character is the only one who can negotiate with demons, while his female companion (and his two male companions) cannot. This is because the main character is the only one who can use the portable computer with the translating program; if he is incapacitated, then his companions can't use the Talk option until he's revived. | |
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Discussed and Subverted in Iron Druid Chronicles. Granuaille derides Atticus' tendency to resort to violence as "how men solve problems" then immediately goes straight to her step-father's office and beats the crap out of him and several security guards explicitly out of spite. | |
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The Freudian superhero team of Id, Superego, and Ego in Animaniacs. Superego is a woman who peacefully resolves conflict with an enemy. The others are male monsters that smash things up. | |
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Final Fantasy XIV frequently inverts the trope with several female main characters whose idea to a solution is to kick ass first and ask questions second while a few male characters prefer to talk things out before resorting to violence. The best example of this are Alphinaud and Alisae - Alisae, the girl, is ready to charge in to fights head-on, while Alphinaud, the boy, prefers diplomacy. | |
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Alien X of Ben 10: Alien Force and Ben 10: Ultimate Alien has two personalities, Bellicus and Serena. Bellicus is a warlike male whose answer to everything is to smash and destroy. Serena is a peace-loving female who would prefer to talk everything out in a loving way. Naturally, it's almost impossible for them to agree on anything... except killing Paradox on sight, thinking he is violating the restraining order against him. | |
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In the Ready Jet Go! episode The Plant From Bortron 7, Sydney assumes that the giant plant has a head, and offers a peaceful solution to the problem by wanting to talk to the plant. But Sean offers a violent solution by wanting to get a big pair of clippers and snip the plant. They keep arguing about it until the plant runs away, most likely because of Sean wanting to snip the plant. | |
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In Homestuck, there are two Master Classes — the Lord, which is Active and Always Male, who are destined to take the Conquest path, and conquer and destroy everything; and the Muse, which is Passive and Always Female, who are meant to sacrifice themselves to bring happiness and good to the entire Universe, but are not expected to take part in any battle. The only Lord we see in Homestuck also happens to be the Big Bad, while the only Muse we see is the Big Good and through careful planning helps lead the other players to a more concrete win. | |
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In the Mazinger trilogy - Mazinger Z, Great Mazinger and UFO Robo Grendizer - male characters tend to resort quickly to violence to solve a conflict whereas female characters tend to look for alternate, peaceful means to solve it or regret when a peaceful outcome seems out of reach: In Mazinger Z episode 3 Sayaka tested Aphrodite-A's new weapons and stated that she wished that Aphrodite was only used for peaceful purposes. In the prior episode, Koji swore that he would use his Super Robot to fight Dr. Hell. King Vega was convinced that invading and conquering other planets was the only way to find a new home for his subjects after their homeworld's demise. Duke was convinced that the only way to stop them from invading Earth was fighting them. Rubina - daughter of the former and ex-fiancee of the latter - thought that mutual annihilation was the only possible result of that war. So she found an alternative option and tried to talk both into a ceasefire. It did not work. In a manga story, Duke has to fight a brainwashed Kouji and Tetsuya. Meanwhile, Hikaru laments that there is no way that peace can result from that battle, no matter who wins. In the first episode of Grendizer Kouji decided to try and negotiate with the alien visitors, for once. However he chose the worst possible time to change his usual approach, and he got nearly blown up. |
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Averted in The Order of the Stick, especially with Haley and Celia. While Celia fits the female half of this trope perfectly, Haley (another woman) is more content to shoot her way through the Thieves' Guild members who are invading and trying to kill her. Also, the main character most likely to use diplomacy is Elan, a male. | |
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Toward the end of Persona 4, notice that the males in the party advocate enacting revenge by throwing Namatame into the TV without a second thought, while the females dissent, suspecting that they'd missed a crucial detail somewhere in the investigation and begging the player and Yosuke to think it through more carefully. Though Naoto seemed to be in favor of tossing him in since she was the one who first pointed out that they could do so, although she does come around and convince Yosuke and Kanji that there are unanswered questions. | |
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In Persona 5, the party is forced to obtain five letters of introduction to unlock the Treasure Room of the seventh Palace. Each of the four female party members uses their various skills to convince the VIPs to hand over their letters, but due to various circumstances, it always results in a fight. Yusuke's recruited to deal with the last VIP by drawing a tattoo for him, but it's actually Ann's idea. | |
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Inverted by Hank Pym ((Gi)Ant Man) and Janet van Dyne (Wasp) of The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes at least, until Hank goes Yellowjacket. Hank would much rather talk to and rehabilitate supervillains than fight them, whereas Jan is happy to just zap them. This is the primary source of conflict between them, as neither understands the other's perspective. As the vast majority of the other Avengers agree with Jan, this eventually causes Hank to leave the team. | |
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In Dragon Age: Origins, this is how the Qunari are described: men can be warriors, women can be diplomats, and their strict caste system means that they never have exceptions. If you're playing a female Grey Warden, this causes a great deal of confusion for Qunari party member Sten. In Dragon Age II this causes a huge problem as a Qunari army is stranded in Kirkwall and since they have no diplomats to talk, they don't even make an attempt to explain why they're there, greatly exacerbating the situation. It's finally explained in Dragon Age: Inquisition that Qunari women can become soldiers, at which point they're considered men. So Sten's confusion wasn't that you wished to fight, but that you wished to fight while still considering yourself a woman. | |
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Marvel Cinematic Universe: WandaVision: Tyler Hayward and Monica Rambeau have different ideas of how to handle the fact that Wanda Maximoff is holding an entire town hostage. Hayward views Wanda as a terrorist threat that needs to be killed at the first opportunity because Wanda could spill the beans about his abuses of power, while Monica tries to reason with her. Inverted in the climax. Wanda and Agatha have the big battle in the sky, while the fight of the two Visions ends when Wanda's Vision talks his opponent into submission through a Ship of Theseus discussion. Loki (2021): Inverted with Loki and Sylvie. While Loki can hold his own in a fight, he generally prefers to manipulate people verbally and use illusory magic to avoid actually trading blows. As the only magic Sylvie knows is her possession-via-enchantment trick she's more likely to use brute force to deal with enemies. |
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The Vorin religion practiced by the cultures of most of the main characters in The Stormlight Archive takes this as scripture, to the point where it's considered a sin for women to fight and for men to learn to read. The only exception is the ardent priestly caste, which can ignore the gender rules. | |
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Averted with the Drow of Dungeons & Dragons. note At least with Drow that follow a mainstream female-dominated Drow society. Most of their combative roles are taken by their women (who also tend to be priestesses of Lloth, the spider goddess and the reason Drow live underground.) Drow are ruthless! | |
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In an Adventures of the Gummi Bears, Grammi and Cubbi have to chase a sprite who has magically put Gruffi to sleep. This episode has a balance of values with Cubbi advocating direct forceful action to solve problems, which works but when they finally catch up to their quarry, it is Grammi's diplomacy that finally is needed to convince the sprite to restore Gruffi. | |
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Genderflipped in Black Lagoon: If Revy has a problem with you, she will shoot you. If Rock has a problem with you, he will talk with you, though he might include some polite threat or veiled blackmail. In the second episode, Lagoon Company is hijacking a cruise ship. Rock uses a megaphone to politely request that they surrender while Revy is arming a grenade launcher. |
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Not exactly this, but a similar concept is very subtly used in Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy: the titular character, a chauvinist Casanova Wannabe, signs off his reports with his trademark "You stay classy, San Diego!", while his much more level-headed female rival, Veronica Corningstone, signs off with "Thanks for stopping by, San Diego." His is a command, hers is a compliment. | |
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This is expressed through the virtues embodied by Link and Zelda in every The Legend of Zelda game: He holds the Triforce of Courage, and she holds the Triforce of Wisdom; he saves the world, and then she rules it; war is his domain, and diplomacy is hers. | |
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In Endride, while watching Emilio and Shun brawl, Demetrio claims that fighting is just men's way of coming to understand one another's viewpoint. Louise thinks it's utterly ridiculous. | |
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The Great: At the negotiations, Catherine and Agatha, the Queen of Sweden, discuss the issues of having a free press while Peter and Hugo, the King of Sweden, come to blows. Before Catherine's coronation, everyone from Peter to Velementov to Orlo tries to get what they want with violence despite her insistence to use intelligent and peaceful communication. |
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Inverted in The Legend of Heroes: Trails in the Sky. Joshua is the one with the "silver tongue" (as Estelle pointed out), while Estelle would rather beat people up with her staff. | |
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Mass Effect 3 suggests that the krogan work this way, although we only meet one female krogan in the entire series due to genophage-induced Gender Rarity Value. It's also a relative value since the first thing we see her do under her own power is gun down two enemy soldiers without a second thought. It is made more obvious during the Tuchanka mission. During a meeting, some of the Krogan begin to squabble and appear seconds away from tearing each other limb from limb, only for "Eve" to appear, immediately order everyone to shut the hell up, before convincing them to work together. Eve admits that after the Genophage is cured, the Krogan women are going to gain more political clout in their society and hints that they are also not above using a Lysistrata Gambit to keep the men in line and attempt to curb the worst of their Blood Knight tendencies. Mordin relates that the first time he met Eve, she was in great pain and clearly distraught by her ordeal as one of Maelon's experiments. While he was treating her injuries, she managed to break out of one of her restraints and grabbed him. She could have easily killed him... but instead, all she said was, "Please". This small act of kindness made Mordin regain his faith in the Krogan and vow to cure the genophage. The Krogan in Mass Effect: Andromeda have managed to largely overcome their Genophage problem. With Gender Rarity Value no longer really an issue, they've settled into more of a Gender Is No Object situation and their current warlord is female. |
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Steven Universe completely inverts this, with the female-presenting Crystal Gems using violence as their first resort to dealing with problems, while Steven, the only male Gem (due to being half-human), always endeavors for the peaceful solution and would rather befriend the enemy than fight them. | |
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Mass Effect Mass Effect 3 suggests that the krogan work this way, although we only meet one female krogan in the entire series due to genophage-induced Gender Rarity Value. It's also a relative value since the first thing we see her do under her own power is gun down two enemy soldiers without a second thought. It is made more obvious during the Tuchanka mission. During a meeting, some of the Krogan begin to squabble and appear seconds away from tearing each other limb from limb, only for "Eve" to appear, immediately order everyone to shut the hell up, before convincing them to work together. Eve admits that after the Genophage is cured, the Krogan women are going to gain more political clout in their society and hints that they are also not above using a Lysistrata Gambit to keep the men in line and attempt to curb the worst of their Blood Knight tendencies. Mordin relates that the first time he met Eve, she was in great pain and clearly distraught by her ordeal as one of Maelon's experiments. While he was treating her injuries, she managed to break out of one of her restraints and grabbed him. She could have easily killed him... but instead, all she said was, "Please". This small act of kindness made Mordin regain his faith in the Krogan and vow to cure the genophage. The Krogan in Mass Effect: Andromeda have managed to largely overcome their Genophage problem. With Gender Rarity Value no longer really an issue, they've settled into more of a Gender Is No Object situation and their current warlord is female. It's also played with on the asari. They're monogendered (all female), and are considered flighty, promiscuous alien space babes who want to sleep their way around the galaxy (we later learn there is a very good reason why asari choose to mate with other races and not other asari). However, they are also considered top-notch diplomats, and their long lifespans tolerate a degree of debate and inertia most other races can't. As Renegade Shepherd puts it, "If you want an issue talked to death, ask an asari". They are also the most adept at wielding biotic abilities, however, and their commandos are just as deadly as anything else in the galaxy. Their views bite them in the arse when the Reapers hit Thessia. The open, debate-heavy asari political system is unable to present a co-ordinated defense in time, and while asari are born Spec Ops-operators, they are too few, and not of much use in defensive battles that require massive levels of firepower. While Earth and Palaven held out for months, Thessia fell in days. |
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Gender flipped in Daily Lives of High School Boys, where every single woman in the series is either crazy or a bully who openly provokes a fight. | |
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Also gender-flipped in Gintama: men always try to talk things out rationally before resorting to sword fights, women usually respond with immediate violence. | |
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In Girl Genius, Gilgamesh Wulfenbach, heir to his father's "Pax Transylvania" empire, is extremely exasperated with people looking down on him because he wants to try diplomatic solutions. Which prompts him to remind them that he is definitely his father's son when he resorts to doing things the hard way. Witness his epic rant on the matter. | |
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Persona has multiple: Toward the end of Persona 4, notice that the males in the party advocate enacting revenge by throwing Namatame into the TV without a second thought, while the females dissent, suspecting that they'd missed a crucial detail somewhere in the investigation and begging the player and Yosuke to think it through more carefully. Though Naoto seemed to be in favor of tossing him in since she was the one who first pointed out that they could do so, although she does come around and convince Yosuke and Kanji that there are unanswered questions. In Persona 5, the party is forced to obtain five letters of introduction to unlock the Treasure Room of the seventh Palace. Each of the four female party members uses their various skills to convince the VIPs to hand over their letters, but due to various circumstances, it always results in a fight. Yusuke's recruited to deal with the last VIP by drawing a tattoo for him, but it's actually Ann's idea. |
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This trope sums up the difference in philosophy between Alm and Celica in Fire Emblem Echoes. At the climax of act two, their reunion is soured when they spat over how to proceed: Alm wants to continue military action against the invading forces, Celica wants to hold a truce while she locates the absent god Mila and then renegotiates the restoration of the Divine Accord. The story is actually extremely even-handed about this, showing that Alm is aware of the devastating consequences of war, but has a point that some sort of counterattack is the only way to make the militaristic Rigel reconsider their actions. Meanwhile, Celica's desire for peace is certainly noble, but the fact she thinks an enemy being willing to parley with her is a sign of good faith in and of itself makes things a lot worse for everyone. | |
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Superman vs. Shazam!: After being attacked by a fake Captain Marvel, Superman is eager to head towards Earth-S to beat Marvel up. Supergirl follows him, but willing to give the Marvels the benefit of the doubt, she first approaches Mary Marvel and asks why Mary's brother attacked her cousin. After comparing notes, both women conclude someone is manipulating their relatives into a fight. | |
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Wonder Woman: Diana strives to be diplomatic, although in the 00's writers have suggested that she would be willing to kill villains if need be. Wonder Woman (1987): While the confrontation with the Sangtee Empire embodies this, with the all-female rebels refusing to kill and participating in all kinds of propaganda and other communication and ending the war with an agreement rather than a brutal military victory, there's also an indication that part of the problem with the Empire is systematic rather than relating to the differences between men and women, especially since the Kreel are actually natural sexshifters who have stopped and made being a woman illegal due to propaganda. |
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A Song of Ice and Fire zigzags all over the place but it's generally played straight-women use sharp words and men use sharp blades. Par for the course for any Silk Hiding Steel woman hoping to find ways to obtain and assert power in a heavily patriarchal society. Plenty of its prominent female characters use manipulation and/or sweet words to avoid conflict in the middle of a civil war mostly fought by the men. King's Landing crew — Cersei Lannister and Margaery Tyrell are outwardly sweet but are more manipulative than they let on, and this gets them far. Asha Greyjoy uses plenty of violence herself, but she's the only one out of the Ironborn who suggests diplomatically making peace with the North. However, the series's most prominent Chessmasters and smooth-talkers, Varys and Littlefinger, are both male. |
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Once again, gender-flipped in Hetalia: Axis Powers, with Austria and Hungary. Austria prefers to use marriage and alliances to avoid conflict, while Hungary cheerfully will beat up anything that threatens them. | |
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Loki (2021): Inverted with Loki and Sylvie. While Loki can hold his own in a fight, he generally prefers to manipulate people verbally and use illusory magic to avoid actually trading blows. As the only magic Sylvie knows is her possession-via-enchantment trick she's more likely to use brute force to deal with enemies. | |
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In the episode "Romeo Must Wed" from The Proud Family, Penny developed a crush on Kwok while rehearsing for their school's production of Romeo & Juliet. After a while, Kwok's parents, the Wongs, politely asked Penny's parents, Oscar and Trudy, that they not allow Penny and Kwok to see each other anymore. While Trudy remained civil in her inquiry, Oscar immediately jumped to conclusions, thinking that the Wongs didn't approve of their son having a relationship with Penny because she wasn't "good enough" for them. This prompted both Oscar and Mr. Wong to imply the other was a racist. It turned out the real reason was that Kwok had an arranged bride, who was coming to town for a visit. | |
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The main cast in My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic is mostly female but still manages to use this trope through the two resident tomboys, Applejack and Rainbow Dash (especially Rainbow Dash). | |
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Averted by the Doctor in Doctor Who, who resorts to violence only after exhausting other options (the Tenth was very fond of Don't Make Me Destroy You). Sometimes inverted when he has an Action Girl companion like Leela or Ace. The Thirteenth Doctor is female and the most pacifistic out of all of them. | |
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Similarly, in Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones, Ephraim is a headstrong Blood Knight while his sister Eirika prefers to use diplomacy. | |
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JAG: In "Scimitar", the US military's plan has Harm acting to bust Corporal Anderson out of Iraqi prison, while keeping Austin entirely out of the loop and believing their primary goal is to get him acquitted at the trial. Meg isn't thrilled when she learns of this. This neatly mirrors the relationship between Lt. Dumai and the male Iraqi officers. | |
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The rules of Lace & Steel seem to enforce it, as males of every social class receive free weapon skills, while females get free social skills (except the Harpies, who invert this). | |
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In the Once Upon a Time episode "We Are Both," Charming says that he did the fighting while Snow White did the talking. | |
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You (2018): When Sherry and Cary Conrad are trapped in the protagonists' murder cage, fitness enthusiast husband Cary wants to punch his way out of it; influencer wife Sherry tries to appeal to her friendship with Love. Neither approach works, but it's a well-timed "Eureka!" Moment at the alst minute when Sherry finds a hidden key that saves them. | |
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Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Averted. The Slayer is always female and 99% of vampires have to be dusted. | |
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Inverted somewhat in the Family Guy episode "Forget-Me-Not", where Stewie places Peter, Brian, Joe, and Quagmire in a virtual reality simulation where they wake up in the hospital with no memories. They all try working together to figure out who they are and why the town is empty, only resorting to violence when they think they've found evidence that Peter killed everyone else. At the end of the episode, Stewie reveals that he tried running the same simulation on Bonnie, Lois, and Meg. They started beating the crap out of each other almost immediately and are still going at it (they haven't even left the hospital yet) by the time the men's simulation is over. | |
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The Krogan in Mass Effect: Andromeda have managed to largely overcome their Genophage problem. With Gender Rarity Value no longer really an issue, they've settled into more of a Gender Is No Object situation and their current warlord is female. | |
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Mobile Fighter G Gundam: "Fighters communicate through their fists!" It just so happens that there are only two female Gundam pilots. | |
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From Merlin, Gwen talks her way out of most of her problems while Merlin and Arthur fight. Justified because she is a maid and has no fighting skills, while they are a Warrior Prince and a Mage. For what it's worth, the series ends with Arthur dying of a wound sustained in combat, Merlin going into self-imposed exile, and Guinevere becoming the sole ruler of Camelot who Word of God confirms brought about the Golden Age. | |
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In The Smurfs (1981) episode "Supersmurf", Brainy as Supersmurf tries and almost succeeds in getting the Smurfs' supply of food back from Bigmouth by using violence, only for his magic-given superpowers to wear out. Smurfette tries using communication (which in this case means feminine wiles and pleas of sympathy) to get the food back from Bigmouth, only that doesn't work either. It takes Brainy coming up with the idea of distracting Bigmouth's appetite with rocks dipped in slime sauce that the Smurfs are able to get their food back. | |
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Torchwood: Miracle Day has a gender flip. Lynn tried to solve the problem with mind games and snark but Gwen had different ideas. | |
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Parodied and Downplayed in Gravity Falls, where Mabel questions why do guys (mainly Robbie, her brother, Dipper really doesn't want to) fight, when they can just settle with hating each other quietly like girls do. Granted, it's not fully communication, but it's not violence. | |
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