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My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad

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This Stock Phrase and its variants (my dad is stronger/faster/smarter/richer/better than yours) are a common Badass Boast between schoolyard kids. The implication is, of course, that badass is In the Blood. (Or that their Dads will get involved in any fight between them.) Any argument can lead to this, and actual physical violence may break out over it as well. A variation replaces "father" with other older male relatives like siblings or cousins for matter of availability (fathers would be thought to be working but older siblings or brothers may be available in school). Female relatives are rarely cited, ignoring Action Girls and Action Moms, but even with a whole Badass Family, male examples are far more common. However, the original challenge is occasionally subverted with the rejoinder "My MOM could beat up your dad."
Occasionally, grownups will do it too, especially those who have had daddy issues, though they're more likely to compare their kids, if they have any.
Another variation is combining this with My Kung-Fu Is Stronger Than Yours, resulting in "my teacher has greater skills than your teacher", which can be applied to any art or skill, but is very prominent in martial art shows. Taken even further if said character's dad is also their teacher.
Truth in Television, of course. See also My Grandma Can Do Better Than You and You Fight Like a Cow for similar insults. Could be considered the Spear Counterpart of Your Mom.
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The premise of the Rhett & Link song "Who's Yo Daddy?", where the two rap about how their fathers are superior. One of the lyrics references this trope almost verbatim:
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One of the few humorous moments in Unbreakable is when Joseph (David's son) is sitting next to another kid outside the principal's office. Said kid asks, "Is that your dad? (pause) I bet my dad could beat up your dad.". Considering what we saw him do earlier, he really couldn't.
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In the Dinosaur Train episode "The Wing Kings", Quincy Quetzalcoatlus overhears the Pteranodon siblings calling their dad the "Wing King" and thinks they're talking about his dad. To settle this, they get their fathers to compete against each other to see who's better at flying.
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Inverted in Boruto. Boruto and Sarada love their fathers, however they have complicated baggage involving feelings of abandonment. As a result, they idolize each other's father more. Neither quite understand the other's obsession with their dad.
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Channel Awesome:
The Nostalgia Critic and Phelous at one point had a crossover to review Child's Play. To poke fun at how creepy the doll was even before becoming possessed, the two had a brief skit where they were two kids arguing over whose doll could inspire the worst nightmares, and both immediately going to sleep (and subsequently wake up screaming) to prove who's right.
On the same site, during a Wimp Fight, Paw Dugan declares to Kyle that "my beard could beat up your beard!".
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Spy X Son:
After reading Son Pan's mind and learning her father Gohan is a superhero, Anya Forger invokes this by debating with Pan which of their fathers is the strongest slash coolest. Though after reading Pan's memories of Dragon Ball Super: Super Hero and seeing her father one-shot Cell Max, she suspects that Gohan might be as strong as her mother Yor, unaware that Gohan is much stronger.
When Goten and Trunks are hanging with Yor and Yuri, Yuri starts an argument with Goten about whose older sibling is the strongest. Goten is also offended when Yuri calls his sister-in-law Videl a "wannabee karate teacher" who can't beat his sister.
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In an issue of Doraemon, when Gian bragged to Nobita, Suneo, Shizuka, and several classmates about how his dad used to be a brawler and the strongest among their dads, Nobita, acting on impulse as usual, immediately responds by saying his dad is strong enough to smash rocks with his bare hands, leading to Gian complaining to his father and the two dads being forced into a face-to-face confrontation. As usual, Doraemon has to save the day with his array of gadgets, this time with a potion that turns Nobita's dad into a literal superhero. Hilarity Ensues unsurprisingly.
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Inverted in Runaways, when the couples who make up the Pride start arguing over whose kid is most likely to be The Mole. Eventually, one of them tells the others to drop the "my honour student can beat up your honour student" stuff.
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The Simpsons has a variant in one of its non-canon Halloween Episodes: Homer dies and becomes a ghost. On the bus to school, Nelson mocks Bart by singing "Your dad is dead, mine's just in jail!"
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During the Knaaren's Cave area of Rayman 3: Hoodlum Havoc, one can hear two off-screen voices arguing over who has the toughest dad until a third voice tells them both to shut up.
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One Cyanide and Happiness strip had Jesus claiming that His Father could beat up all other fathers.
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Mad Magazine's parody of Roseanne, entitled "Grossanne", features a girl saying this to DJ.
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Terrorizer magazine's review of Napalm Death's fourteenth album Time Waits for No Slave essentially argued that, in spite of all the members being in their forties and being lefty pacifists, "Shane Embury [bass] can still take your dad". Just because someone tries to avoid a fight doesn't mean they don't work out and/or know how to handle themselves in a fight. Especially on the political Left, pacifism may not even take the form of avoiding violence altogether: rather, they seek to discourage ordinary people from participating in conflicts between nations (i.e. participating in the military). This is somewhat different from religious pacifists, who avoid all violence and may discourage studying martial arts: though the two can overlap.
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Lian Harper apparently once told someone "My daddy could kill you from where he's sitting." It's entirely likely she wasn't trying to boast but stating an honest to God fact.
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In the "Oh Brother" episode of Taz-Mania Taz's little brother confronts a small gorilla, both of them threatening to sic their big tough brothers against one another. The older gorilla, who'd been bragging about his many manly (simianly?) exploits, is not allowed to let his sudden cold feet get him out of the pledged battle, while Taz is only too ready to begin pounding away.
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Draco Malfoy lives and breathes this trope in the first few Harry Potter books.
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In SimCity 2000, the in-game newspaper will occasionally run fluff pieces about peace talks in foreign countries that invariably degenerate into "the really big country that backs me can beat up the really big country that backs you", referred to in-game as the "my dad can beat up your dad" strategy.
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In the Arabian Nights, there's an odd example: a man was carried off by a Jackass Genie on the night he conceived a son with the daughter of the Vizier of Egypt. So the son thought his grandfather was his father and kept lording it over everyone else at school by saying his father was the Vizier of Egypt. At least, until the schoolmaster and the Vizier are fed up with this and tell him the truth.
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The book Fifth Business, at the very beginning, with an envious Percy telling this to Dunny.
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Subverted in Scott and Kirkman's Baby Blues comic, when Zoe was in preschool. Bogart, their neighbor, was going on and about how his mommy had more money than Zoe's mommy, and how his mommy was prettier than her mommy. Zoe's comeback was "Well 'my mommy has a bigger bottom than your mommy!" At which Bogart runs off crying to his mommy. Nice one, Zoe.
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In A Certain Scientific Railgun, Kuroko Shirai and Frenda Seivelun got into an argument over which of their big sister figures, Mikoto Misaka and Shizuri Mugino respectively, would win in a fight. What's interesting is that Frenda knew the two had fought earlier and while Mikoto won, Mugino had a very good chance at winning. In contrast, Kuroko had no idea who Mugino was and how powerful she was.
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Sarcastic variation in the first Spider-Man movie, when Harry tells Flash and his friends to leave Peter alone.
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One Scamp story has Scamp getting into this argument with another puppy. Tramp adamantly refuses to get involved, but the two continue pushing the family's buttons until Scamp himself decides to beat them up in Tramp's place, only to find out that Tramp has already started a fight in secret. When Tramp wins, Scamp decides to attack the puppy instead and also wins his fight. Both resolve to keep their respective fights a secret from Lady.
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The Nostalgia Critic and Phelous at one point had a crossover to review Child's Play. To poke fun at how creepy the doll was even before becoming possessed, the two had a brief skit where they were two kids arguing over whose doll could inspire the worst nightmares, and both immediately going to sleep (and subsequently wake up screaming) to prove who's right.
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One of the side-missions in Dynasty Warriors 4 is "Husbands and Wives", in which various Battle Couples team up and fight it out. Their taunts toward each other include variants on "my honey can trounce yours".
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Mortal Kombat X: We get this charming little exchange between Cassie Cage and Jacqui Briggs:
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In Pokemon HeartGold and SoulSilver, Gym Leaders Falkner and Janine can be found arguing in the Celadon Department Store about this. If you take Falkner's side, he'll give you his number so you can call for rematches against him.
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In Jackie Chan Adventures, Jade and Paco are always arguing over whether Jackie (Jade's uncle) or El Toro (Paco's role model) is the greatest.
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The basis of the Dave Days song "My Dad's Bigger Than Your Dad".
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In the episode 8 of BanG Dream! spinoff BanG Dream! Girls Band Party!☆PICO Ohmori, Asuka and Ako get into argument about who of their big sisters (Kasumi and Tomoe, respectively) was better, all while Rokka tries to get them to stop. Then Hina suddenly appears out of nowhere and declares her massive Big Sister Worship towards her older sister (Sayo) and easily overwhelms the two of them.
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In BioShock, Gatherer's Garden uses this trope to prey on adult insecurities in order to sell plasmids: "My daddy's smarter than Einstein, stronger than Hercules and can light a fire with a snap of his fingers! Are you as good as my daddy, Mister? Not if you don't visit the Gatherer's Garden, you aren't!"
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One of the characters in the movie The Wrath of God observes that religious conflicts tend to boil down to this: "My Father in Heaven can lick your Father in Heaven."
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Randy Marsh also has a tendency to get sloshed during the kids' sports games and instigating fights with the opposing team's dads. He makes a nemesis in "Batdad", a large, fat, shirtless dad in a Batman cape and cowl.
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The Office has a "My Boyfriend" variant in one episode, which has a sub-plot revolving around Kelly gloating to Pam about how Darryl is better than Jim at ping-pong. Finally at the end, Pam challenges Kelly to ping-pong herself; they're both absolutely miserable at the game.
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Sports Night: A variation in the second season episode "Kyle Whitaker's Got Two Sacks", when Dana's bragging about her brother, a star football player:
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In The Prince of Tennis, cousins Yuushi and Kenya Oshitari can and will argue over which of the two first-year students in their respective regions is better at tennis until the cows come home and they still won't have an answer. Granted, the argument usually deteriorates into a shouting match that doesn't have anything to do with how good the two rookies are at tennis.
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In the BattleTech novel series Warriors of Kerensky, Kai Allard-Liao tells the story of how he got into a contest with a boy about this. Kai ended it by saying that his dad could kill the boy's dad. Since Justin Allard (Kai's dad) is one of the finest MechWarriors in the Inner Sphere, a respected war hero, a deep-cover spy, an all-around badass, and has killed men in an arena for sport on TV, this causes the boy to go home crying. Justin has a talk with his son after this.
In a subsequent novel, Assumption of Risk, the in-the-past prologue is exactly this talk, from Justin's POV.
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In Rush Hour, Lee and Carter get into an argument about their deceased fathers, culminating with Lee claiming this: "My daddy once caught a bullet with his bare hands!"
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In The Now Show, in a sketch illustrating what the House of Commons would be like were it a school playground, had David Cameron claiming that his dad was bigger than Tony Blair's.
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A "my sensei can beat your sensei" variation appears in Kenichi: The Mightiest Disciple, when Kenichi fights with Sho Kano.
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Referenced in the Futurama episode "Teenage Mutant Leela's Hurdles". When Leela, made younger again in a Fountain of Youth accident, goes to live with her parents in the sewers and describes to her mom how life would be like, she says, "And if some kid picks on me, my dad can beat up his dad." Her dad replies, "Can't I just beat up the kid?"
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Hetalia: Axis Powers fanfic Kimy�na, Komisch, Caldo, a sequel to Gankona, Unnachgiebig, Unità: A scenario of this kind played out between Sealand and Kugelmugel by the end of this story. Kugeulmugel definitely said some nice things about his own parents:
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The Amazing World of Gumball has this twice.
First in "The Hero" where Gumball's classmates brag about how cool their dads are, Gumball and Darwin claim that their father is only good at being embarrassing.
Second in "The Mothers" but it is Gender-Inverted, the whole episode is just Gumball, Tobias and Banana Joe proving whose mother is the best.
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This JoJo's Bizarre Adventure fan comic, which involves Giorno babysitting an 8 or 9 years old Jolyne, has Jolyne attempting to use this twice against Giorno (first by saying her dad can beat his dad, and second that her mom can beat his mom). It doesn't get a rise out of Giorno since he's fine if either DIO or his neglectful mother was beaten up, even adding that his dad is already deadnote Amusingly enough, DIO was killed by Jotaro, Jolyne's father.
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Peanuts has a few of these show up:
Violet enjoys bragging about her dad's accomplishments, however, it's heavily hinted that he's not often there or involved as most other fathers in the strip. For example:
In one Father's Day strip, Violet brags about her dad to Charlie Brown, who takes her to his dad's barbershop and points out that his dad will stop work to say hello to him just because Charlie Brown is his son, which causes a defeated Violet to walk away, wishing him a happy Father's Day.
In another strip, Violet boasts to Lucy about her father's excellent bowling average in three different weeknight leagues. Lucy replies, "My father stays home nights."
In another example, Violet claims her father is taller than the father of a classmate, who retorts that at least his father shows up to PTA meetings. Considering the consistency of the responses, the other kids seem to be aware that Violet's dad isn't that involved in her life.
In a very early strip, Charlie Brown and Shermy agree that neither of their dads could beat up the other's, or anyone else (though they're still "pretty good guys").
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My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad
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Evoked in Carousel when Billy imagines what fatherhood will be like in "Soliloquy."
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1.0
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My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad
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Tiny Toon Adventures, a variation on this when Buster Bunny gets into an argument with someone and tries to one-up the argument with "Well, my lawyer can beat up your lawyer!"
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Project × Zone 2: Brave New World has Lucina claiming that her father Chrom can beat up whoever, leading to Chrom correcting his daughter about any assumptions about him.
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A Spanish advertisement poster for the 2018 God of War (PS4) displayed during Father's Day showcased Kratos and his son Atreus, with the tagline "My dad can beat up your dad".
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My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad
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In Asterix, similar comments between the children regularly result in brawls between the fishmonger and the blacksmith. But then, just about anything can cause a brawl between the fishmonger and the blacksmith.
 My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad / int_c511c682
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After reading Son Pan's mind and learning her father Gohan is a superhero, Anya Forger invokes this by debating with Pan which of their fathers is the strongest slash coolest. Though after reading Pan's memories of Dragon Ball Super: Super Hero and seeing her father one-shot Cell Max, she suspects that Gohan might be as strong as her mother Yor, unaware that Gohan is much stronger.
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A variation in Mafalda, "My dad makes more money than your dad." A small story arc had Susana saying that to each of her friends, with varied results.
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On South Park, when the town's male population is going through a "metrosexual" phase, Stan and Clyde get into an argument over whose dad dresses better. The dads come over and say that that's a silly thing to fight about...and then start arguing over their outfits, naturally.
Randy Marsh also has a tendency to get sloshed during the kids' sports games and instigating fights with the opposing team's dads. He makes a nemesis in "Batdad", a large, fat, shirtless dad in a Batman cape and cowl.
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My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad
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Fire Emblem: Three Houses has Linhardt and Caspar’s C support devolve into this after they discuss how Caspar’s father forced Linhardt into a training session, and Linhardt’s father got so mad that the two got into a fight. Caspar argues that his father wins through sheer physical strength, while Linhardt uses the opportunity to make fun of Caspar’s father’s height.
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My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad
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Variations in Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"What is this, a 'my sire can beat up your sire' kind of thing?"
Harmony also threatens that her boyfriend will beat them up. Since her boyfriend is Spike, Buffy would in fact beat him up many many times before and since she made this claim.
Dawn is upset about an Alpha Bitch at school and says, "You know, my big sister could really beat the crap out of her. I mean, really, really..."
 My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad / int_e293455a
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My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad
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Hilariously subverted in Family Guy where Chris brags to Meg how much smarter his dad is than Meg's, only for Meg to remind him they both have the same father.
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Dragon Ball Z:
When Goten's father is coming Back from the Dead to compete in the Tenkaichi Budokai, he and Trunks get into an argument over whose dad is stronger.
Inverted by Trunks himself when he brought the Dragonradar to his mother and, with sparkling eyes, he stated in amazement to Goku how much stronger he is than his own father. Goku, of course, took this in stride.
Speaking of Goten and Trunks, the trope is inverted again in another sense by Goku and Chi-Chi and Vegeta and Bulma (you know, the adults) arguing over whose boy is stronger. When Trunks defeats Goten in the match, Vegeta (being his usual Jerkass self) wastes no time gleefully gloating in Goku's face over the fact.
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In the Transformers Victory manga, it's "my adoptive transforming-robot-alien father can beat up your adoptive transforming-robot-alien father" whenever Jean Minakaze, adopted son of Autobot leader Star Saber, and manga-exclusive Solon Kitakaze, adopted son of Decepticon leader Deathsaurus, run into each other in the early chapters.
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Who's the Boss? Jonathan is at a school swim event and his friend suggests that his father might be a better swimmer than Jonathan's. The fathers at the pool are all middle-aged with 'dad bods' or significant beer bellies. Tony (not his father, but often plays the role) walks in with his professional sports player physique. The boy turns to Jonathan and says "you win." Subverted in that the dads don't compete, and we find out later that Tony doesn't know how to swim.
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In The Famous Five: In Five Go To Demon's Rocks, Kirrin Cottage is hosting not just the Five, but nine-year-old Tinker and his father Professor Hayling, whose absent-mindedness rivals that of Uncle Quentin.
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OK K.O.! Let's Be Heroes: In "My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad!", K.O. gets into this kind of argument with Chameleon Jr., a Lizard Folk bully. After the initial awkwardness of K.O. explaining that he never knew his dad, he counters with similar claims about his mom Carol. Carol does agree to go to the planned fight so that she and the bully's dad can talk reasonably and set a good example...but she discovers that not only is Chameleon Sr. about the size of a building, he's not interested in talking things out, and a fight ensues.
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Ruby and Leah from Love Live! Sunshine!! do this about their sisters Dia and Sarah respectively.
 My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad / int_fb710c49
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An episode of Dexter's Laboratory had this between Dexter and Mandark. It leads to a fight between Dexter's Salary Man father and Mandark's Hippie father. The result was a draw. Which then leads them to argue over, "My mom can beat up your mom."
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Superdickery has quite a few comic book images of Superman and Batman arguing over which of their sons is better.
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Used in Spy Kids when father Gregorio comes face to face with the dad of a school bully. Being a retired spy, Gregorio knows he can take this guy out, but to do so would blow his cover, so he chooses to walk away, leaving Juni disappointed and prompting the bully to taunt him with this line almost verbatim.
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Cobra Kai: Anthony frequently makes this kind of claim. Given that his dad is Daniel LaRusso, he's probably right a lot of the time, although whether his dad would beat up their dads is in question.
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The following is a list of statements referring to the current page from other pages.

 My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad
processingCategory2
Insult Tropes
 My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad
processingCategory2
The Parent Trope
 BanG Dream! Girls Band Party!☆PICO / int_d4d775c9
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My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad
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My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad
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My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad
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My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad
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My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad
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My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad
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My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad
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My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad
 Warriors The Abridged Series (Fanfic) / int_d4d775c9
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My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad
 Avengers: Age of Ultron / int_d4d775c9
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My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad
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My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad
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My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad
 Unbreakable / int_d4d775c9
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My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad
 The Way to Protect the Female Lead's Older Brother / Lightnovel / int_d4d775c9
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My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad
 Belisarius Series / int_d4d775c9
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My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad
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My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad
 Me and My Dad / int_d4d775c9
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My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad
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My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad
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My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad
 The Famous Five / int_d4d775c9
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My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad
 The Way to Protect the Female Lead's Older Brother / int_d4d775c9
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My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad
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My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad
 SupermanAndBatmanGenerations
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My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad
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My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad
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My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad
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My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad
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My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad
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My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad
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My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad
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My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad
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My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad
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My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad
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My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad
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My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad
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My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad
 Wolfwalkers / int_d4d775c9
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My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad