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Never Needs Sharpening

177 statements
29 feature instances
14 referencing feature instances

Never Needs Sharpening	type	FeatureClass
Never Needs Sharpening	label	Never Needs Sharpening
Never Needs Sharpening	page	NeverNeedsSharpening
Never Needs Sharpening	comment	So you've invented a new product that does exactly what it's intended to do, but it has only one teeny tiny infinitesimal flaw: it doesn't do the one thing everyone expects it will. Or it can't be used in the one way everyone will assume it's meant to be used. So what do you do? You turn that frown upside down and spin that flaw into an asset! Those thin, brittle serrated knives that can't be sharpened suddenly "never need sharpening". Those silicone oven mitts that fall apart in the washing machine "clean up with plain water - no detergent needed!" And so on. Allows the advertiser to show people Too Incompetent to Operate a Blanket attempting to sharpen knives, etc. and failing miserably. Rarely played straight outside the advertising medium. Compare and contrast Our Product Sucks, where product flaws are described more honestly, and Good Bad Bugs, which is (generally) a software and gaming trope when a bug makes its way into the game, isn't picked up or fixed by the developers, but ends up left in the game for some reason (usually because it's harmless and funny). Also compare Asbestos-Free Cereal, when the advertisement is trying to sell the product on trumped-up claims that are technically true but also insignificant in the first place. Deceptively Simple Demonstration is also an upside framed deceptively, only it doesn't tend to be an actual flaw. See also Deliberate Flaw Retcon, when the creator of an artistic work claims that flaws in the work were actually put in there intentionally. See also Polish the Turd and Damned by Faint Praise. Not Available in Stores is often a subtrope, where "nobody carries this garbage/we want you to buy straight from us" is repolished as "exclusive, rare, and special." Subtrope of Lying by Omission, as this is specifically omitting why the product "never needs sharpening."
Never Needs Sharpening	fetched	2023-11-21T19:30:39Z
Never Needs Sharpening	parsed	2023-11-21T19:30:39Z
Never Needs Sharpening	processingComment	Dropped link to AllNaturalSnakeOil: Not an Item - FEATURE
Never Needs Sharpening	processingComment	Dropped link to BoringButPractical: Not an Item - FEATURE
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Never Needs Sharpening	processingComment	Dropped link to SnakeOilSalesman: Not an Item - FEATURE
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Never Needs Sharpening	processingComment	Dropped link to WrongSideOfTheTracks: Not an Item - FEATURE
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Never Needs Sharpening	isPartOf	DBTropes
Never Needs Sharpening / int_17842d5f	type	Never Needs Sharpening
Never Needs Sharpening / int_17842d5f	comment	Fallout 76 was heavily advertised with the statement "Every character you talk to is a real person!" This is a very polite way of saying "this game has absolutely no human NPCs in it." Sure enough, by far the most common criticism of the game itself was that twelve-year-olds in voicechat shouting racial slurs didn't offer much in the way of interesting character work.
Never Needs Sharpening / int_17842d5f	featureApplicability	1.0
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Fallout 76 (Video Game)	hasFeature	Never Needs Sharpening / int_17842d5f
Never Needs Sharpening / int_1b51bb94	type	Never Needs Sharpening
Never Needs Sharpening / int_1b51bb94	comment	The television ad for the NES game Fester's Quest marketed it as "one tough video game", such that "if you make just one mistake, you start all over again!" While this may appeal to the Challenge Gamer, it's odd to market "you have only one life and go back to the beginning of the game if you die" as a feature.
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The Addams Family	hasFeature	Never Needs Sharpening / int_1b51bb94
Never Needs Sharpening / int_1f751eeb	type	Never Needs Sharpening
Never Needs Sharpening / int_1f751eeb	comment	There's a What's New? with Phil and Dixie comic-strip, with a full-page panel set in the dealer's room of a tabletop gaming convention. One of the booth staff is dismayed to discover that a box of gaming miniatures was left in a hot place and have partially melted; his co-worker says it's no problem, and puts out a sign advertising leper figures.
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Never Needs Sharpening / int_30450a9a	type	Never Needs Sharpening
Never Needs Sharpening / int_30450a9a	comment	In Alien: Isolation, Seegson constantly touts the advantages of its android line, "the working Joe." Compared to the Weyland-Yutani androids we see in other material, the working Joe has a really creepy crash-test-dummy appearance as opposed to looking completely human, is hooked up to a central mainframe (which can be hacked or corrupted) rather than being self-contained, and seems to have no sense of morality or doubts about following even the most murderous orders as opposed to requiring modification to even consider taking a life. The advertisements instead claim that this inhuman appearance is obviously better because it (supposedly) avoids the Uncanny Valley or fears of androids disguised as humans, and their total lack of morality, independence, or decision making is better because it means it'll always do what you tell it. Needless to say, it has nothing to do with both of these things being far cheaper than the alternative.
Never Needs Sharpening / int_30450a9a	featureApplicability	1.0
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Alien: Isolation (Video Game)	hasFeature	Never Needs Sharpening / int_30450a9a
Never Needs Sharpening / int_37290d6b	type	Never Needs Sharpening
Never Needs Sharpening / int_37290d6b	comment	Frank and Ernest occasionally has fun with this in Sunday strips, with Frank looking over an advertisement Ernie has written, pointing out issues or missed points regarding his advertised item along the way, and Ernie promptly explaining how his advertisement has spun these issues into alleged positives. For instance, a run-down theater whose roof is missing is referred to as "the place to see the stars" (because you can see stars through the open roof at night).
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Never Needs Sharpening / int_3f4a104b	type	Never Needs Sharpening
Never Needs Sharpening / int_3f4a104b	comment	Dilbert lampshaded this by Dogbert borrowing the Selsun Blue catchphrase of "It tingles, so I know it's working" with his beer ad of "My head hurts, so I know it's working."
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Dilbert (Comic Strip)	hasFeature	Never Needs Sharpening / int_3f4a104b
Never Needs Sharpening / int_5a160237	type	Never Needs Sharpening
Never Needs Sharpening / int_5a160237	comment	In one random event in Civilization: Beyond Earth, the Seawater Refinery works way too well. The player can choose to send the excess to farms for boosted food production, or to the town reservoir for free upkeep. Either way, this becomes "A feature, not a bug."
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Never Needs Sharpening / int_6276800c	type	Never Needs Sharpening
Never Needs Sharpening / int_6276800c	comment	As pointed out by The Nostalgia Critic, a line of Kool-aid juice boxes were prominently advertised as having "20% juice", as if that were a positive.
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Never Needs Sharpening / int_62ceda02	type	Never Needs Sharpening
Never Needs Sharpening / int_62ceda02	comment	Sonichu is infamous for its poorly-drawn art style and use of the cheapest equipment possible (ballpoint pens and Crayola markers). When defending the style, the creator claims the "hand-drawn" style is superior to other comics simply because it was not drawn on a computer.
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Never Needs Sharpening / int_6c1d09b4	type	Never Needs Sharpening
Never Needs Sharpening / int_6c1d09b4	comment	Fallout 4 advertised itself as having over 240 perks: an impressive accomplishment, when 3 had only 61 standard perks in its base game and New Vegas had 90. However, this advertisement left out two facts. First, the above listing included every individual rank of perks that could be upgraded; without that qualifier, it clocks in at a much less impressive 70. And second, in the prior games, Boring, but Practical abilities like flat increases in weapon damage or healing item efficiency were governed by skills rather than perks, but in 4, the skill system was effectively gutted and merged (more properly replaced wholesale) with the perk system — meaning that this number was now bolstered by perks that were less "neat tricks your character can do" and more "things you have to pick up to ensure your character is competent." The intended message is "just imagine what kind of amazing tricks you can pull with so many perks at your disposal!"; in practice, between the small number of genuinely unique perks and the need for them to pull double duty, you won't be doing much you couldn't do in earlier games.
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Never Needs Sharpening / int_6e34b51b	comment	The second game in the Soldier of Fortune series had a feature that was advertised to offer infinite game play. It was a random map generator where the player entered a set of parameters, however most of the maps ended up being very similar to each other, in addition to being bland and featureless.
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Never Needs Sharpening / int_74e12970	comment	Balan Wonderworld: The game was touted as having 80 costumes, which is true, but neglects to mention that many of them are filler and fall under one of the following: a) only useful in specific areas or when interacting with specific gimmicks, b) actively outclassed even in their niche by something else, or c) providing a benefit so small it might as well not exist. The fact that a single action is tied to every button on the controller was promoted as a way to make the game simple to play. In practice, it made things awkward because the default action of your character is to jump, so costumes that want to do something other than modifying your jump will either activate their powers when they feel like it or outright remove your ability to jump, both of which are annoying to deal with. To make matters worse, it's easy to get stuck and forced to restart the level if you lose your ability to jump.
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Never Needs Sharpening / int_79a548b4	type	Never Needs Sharpening
Never Needs Sharpening / int_79a548b4	comment	Forgotten Weapons discusses one specific case in regards to one of Ian's custom guns. Several companies got their hands on surplus M1 Garands after World War II, usually with worn-out muzzles and sometimes even with the receivers cut in half to demilitarize them, so they welded the receivers back together and chopped the barrels in half to get a pristine muzzle, then advertised the resulting guns as "tanker" Garands, identifying them as a rare and obscure variantnote short-barreled Garands were tested for use as a tank crewmate's weapon, but never actually issued in any significant numbers, since the M3 submachine gun offered smaller dimensions and lighter weight than a Garand could ever be brought down to to charge more for it while also distracting from the fact they had to literally weld two halves of a demilled gun back together to sell it.
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Never Needs Sharpening / int_7f5bc680	comment	Those commercials for Goldline that you see Fox News and Glenn Beck advertising insist that, since the entire world will soon be descending into poverty-driven madness, you should trade in all of your soon-to-be-worthless cash for their delicious, shiny gold. They don't bother mentioning that since they're taking in all the paper money, they're driving themselves into the future, gold-driven poorhouse. That's because actually, they're making money by pretending to be gold brokers who are trading cash for gold near the current rate, when they're really selling gold at a huge markup. There's been some Senate inquiries into this. While the price of gold probably is going to go down and isn't that great an investment, if you wish to buy gold anyway, check the current price of gold online so when you go to buy it, you aren't suckered by someone offering it to you at three times what the market says it's worth. One has to wonder if they have a partnership with the exact opposite companies like "Cash 4 Gold" who are urging you to send in your unwanted gold, silver, platinum, or whatever jewelry and get cash in return… with, of course, the company you're sending your jewelry to deciding on exactly how much cash you get in return. It's actually quite hilarious on the occasions when commercials for these two types of companies air sequentially. South Park played that exact scenario in one episode. It also relies on people buying into the misconception that gold has an inherent value, so that in a potential post-apocalyptic scenario they will have reliably precious gold on hand instead of "worthless paper". In actuality, should civilization go belly-up, gold could be just as worthlessnote Currency are only valuable insofar as society accepts their value. In the event of some kind of economic crash that results in currency becoming worthless, then the default method of trade would switch to the barter method: "I'll give you this in return for that." Currency evolved as an intermediary for determining value (instead of "I'll give you one cow for two loaves of bread", it became "I'll give this other guy one cow for $5, then use that $5 to buy two loaves of bread"), but has no intrinsic value beyond that. Similarly, gold is valuable only as long as we say it has value: it can't be used for anything in and of itself by most people. On the other hand, it is beautiful, rare and does not rust. But also notes and base metal coins are quite pretty and as they will be rarer and rarer, they may become more valuable than what they are meant to be as currency. Shortly speaking, everything depends on the taste of the people after the cataclysm. Besides, everyone knows the universal currency of Post-Apocalyptia will be bottlecaps and AK bullets.
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Never Needs Sharpening / int_7ff3216c	type	Never Needs Sharpening
Never Needs Sharpening / int_7ff3216c	comment	Used cars have had owners and car lot salesman come up with so many excuses to sugar coat various issues, that it's become a joke to genre savvy buyers and the cynical and sarcastic among us. Examples: "This car is hot!"note Hot as in, it's been on fire, or the radiator doesn't work and the engine may overheat. Alternately, it may be "hot" in the black market sense: that is, recently stolen., "Minor water damage"note It's been in a major flood, not had some bottled water spilled in it, "Project Car"note The owner has been trying to modify his car with aftermarket parts, and either ran out of money to keep working on it, or installed things poorly or that would actually damage or lower the value of the car, meaning that you'll be stuck picking up the pieces where they left off to fix it, complete it, or revert it back to its "stock" parts as intended by the factory that produced it., and "One of a kind!" note This car is made of two halves of different model cars welded together in the middle. Some of these and more have been used (and illustrated) in Carfax commercials to highlight their service—which is to help provide actual vehicle histories to reveal which ads are cases of this trope (or other deceptions), and which really are good deals. This deceptive terminology was parodied in the Garfield and Friends episode "Rolling Romance" with the following exchange:note This episode itself is a parody of Christine, meaning the car is alive and violently jealous — a problem even the salesman cannot spin.
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Never Needs Sharpening / int_858624ba	type	Never Needs Sharpening
Never Needs Sharpening / int_858624ba	comment	Similarly, on Will & Grace, Grace was translating an apartment want ad: "Cozy" means "Tiny," "Chelsea-adjacent" meant "New Jersey," and "Regularly maintained" meant "The Super hoses blood off the sidewalk every morning."note Aw, c'mon, Hoboken isn't that bad! OK maybe it was back then...
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Never Needs Sharpening / int_976efc02	type	Never Needs Sharpening
Never Needs Sharpening / int_976efc02	comment	The advertising for the MST3K-riffed Beginning of the End proclaimed loudly how "No stop motion animation was used to create the giant grasshopper effects!"... when zooming in on regular-sized grasshoppers climbing over photographs works about as well as you might expect.
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Never Needs Sharpening / int_a485ad0f	type	Never Needs Sharpening
Never Needs Sharpening / int_a485ad0f	comment	In The Angry Video Game Nerd, Parody Commercials starring Rex Viper Rigs take signs that a game is buggy or incomplete and make them sound awesome.
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Never Needs Sharpening / int_a4ff8e01	comment	Fate/Grand Order is known to do "rateup" campaigns dedicated to a specific character, showing them off on a big banner with something like "JEANNE 5☆ RATE UP!" emblazoned next to them. What this leaves out is the mechanics of rateup; it's not that five-star characters become more common, it's that if the lottery decides you'll get a five-star, it is more likely to be that character. It's technically true that you're more likely to get that character on that campaign, but that's because the odds beforehand were basically zilch — the odds of getting any five-star is 1%. The rateup just means you have a pretty good feeling of which five-star you'll get, assuming you get one of those 1% instances. Needless to say, "RATE-UP IS A LIE" remains a fairly popular curse in the community.
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Never Needs Sharpening / int_a8df0a53	type	Never Needs Sharpening
Never Needs Sharpening / int_a8df0a53	comment	Murder mystery reality show Whodunnit? (2013) did something similar, proclaiming in its finale that it had generated a lot of internet buzz. But that buzz centered around viewers that thought the show was actually killing contestants instead of just fake-killing them, and the show was unremarkable otherwise.
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Never Needs Sharpening / int_ace263fa	comment	In Deltora Quest, a huckster advertises a kind of "wheel of fortune" game called Beat the Bird. The wheel has a 50-50 shot of giving the player no money back, with an effectively worthless wooden figurine of a bird as consolation, and a few options that do give the player money only let them break even (and on top of that, the game is fixed). To cover this up, he proudly declares that "every player wins a prize!", even though a comparatively small percentage will get a prize that isn't a ripoff.
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Never Needs Sharpening / int_af19abf9	comment	Virtual Hydlide touted on the back of the box "Over 40 billion possible worlds awaiting your exploration!" What really happened is the game only randomly places key locations around the map. The actual map doesn't change.
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Never Needs Sharpening / int_ba744c4b	comment	In Hbomberguy's "WOKE BRANDS" video, he pokes fun at how Corn Nuts calling itself "the world's most underrated snack" is a way to spin "people don't like our snack" into a positive.
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Never Needs Sharpening / int_c720f71e	comment	Any kitchen implement that "cleans up in a snap - a quick rinse and you're ready to go!" is probably not dishwasher-safe. If it were, they'd say "just stick it in the dishwasher and you're ready to go!" One review on YouTube of the Ove-Glove specifically points out that if you get the glove dirty enough that it needs to be washed, there's not much you can do - water alone won't remove any grease stains, and the glove falls apart in the washing machine.
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Never Needs Sharpening / int_c873c807	comment	A trailer for Rise of the Robots boasts about the game's allegedly complex AI. All the points it made about the AI learning and adapting to its opponent turned out to be Blatant Lies, but the mention of the computer "reading your moves" turned out to mean "On hard mode The Computer Is A Button-Reading Bastard."
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Never Needs Sharpening / int_d5b84b32	comment	A big fuss was made about Spore before its release regarding it "always having something new" so you can "play it forever" because of its procedurally generated worlds and player-made content. In the released version, the procedural generation does not have any tangible effect on gameplay, so "playing forever" really just entails doing the same things over and over again as you would in any other game, but with different models and a lot less depth than others like it so as not to risk doing anything with those models that the spline system couldn't handle well. Yes, you could play it forever and always see new things… but they never promised that doing so would be fun.
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Never Needs Sharpening / int_db151f86	comment	A couple wand makers in Delenda Est tell Harry that they sell their wands on the basis that people change over time and are no longer compatible with their old wand. They also claim that most of their customers buy new wands every couple years with some replacing theirs every few months. This is because their wands are mass-produced crap that is liable to stop working within months. Compare Ollivander's wands which are expected to (and usually do) last a lifetime.
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Never Needs Sharpening / int_ed422854	comment	A similar can of worms was opened with No Man's Sky touting the exact same thing… and having the exact same result.
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Never Needs Sharpening / int_fb9c177d	comment	Some internet sellers of (usually non-official) Transformers toys will advertise that they include "conversion" packaging. Sounds pretty cool, considering the toys themselves are built around the idea of converting (the official term for changing from robot to vehicle and back). However, conversion packaging is a euphemism for "not having the original packaging and instead shipping the toy in whatever they have to cut down on shipping costs." Depending on the consumer, this could either be a boon ("yay, less packaging that I need to throw out and it lowers shipping") or a deal-breaker ("boo, I can't display the toy mint in box").
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The following is a list of statements referring to the current page from other pages.

Never Needs Sharpening	processingCategory2	Advertising Tropes
Frank and Ernest (Comic Strip) / int_360768a5	type	Never Needs Sharpening
Delenda Est / Fan Fic / int_360768a5	type	Never Needs Sharpening
The Truman Show / int_360768a5	type	Never Needs Sharpening
Welcome to Night Vale (Podcast) / int_360768a5	type	Never Needs Sharpening
Horrible Histories / int_360768a5	type	Never Needs Sharpening
Alien: Isolation (Video Game) / int_360768a5	type	Never Needs Sharpening
Civilization: Beyond Earth (Video Game) / int_360768a5	type	Never Needs Sharpening
Cragne Manor (Video Game) / int_360768a5	type	Never Needs Sharpening
Penn and Teller's Smoke and Mirrors (Video Game) / int_360768a5	type	Never Needs Sharpening
Forgotten Weapons (Web Video) / int_360768a5	type	Never Needs Sharpening
Lock Picking Lawyer (Web Video) / int_360768a5	type	Never Needs Sharpening
Rerez (Web Video) / int_360768a5	type	Never Needs Sharpening
Ow, my sanity (Webcomic) / int_360768a5	type	Never Needs Sharpening

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