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Nine out of Ten Doctors Agree
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Stock phrase in commercials for non-prescription products with some purported health benefit — especially items which are not actually health care items, such as sugar-free gum. Sometimes phrased as "Nine out of these ten doctors agree," showing you a group of men in white lab coats with stethoscopes. This is a clue to what's really going on. Your brain hears "Nine out of Ten Doctors Agree", and reads it as "90% of doctors agree." But that's not necessarily what happened — the sample size and population can be anything the advertiser wants it to be, including literally having a panel of only ten doctors asked (and cherrypicking doctors until they get the result they want). Alternatively, the claim may reflect reality, but what is being claimed isn't the same as what is being sold: listen carefully. Did nine out of ten dentists really say that their brand of toothpaste was best, or did nine out of ten dentists just agree that toothpaste in general is a good idea? Did they say they would recommend this brand over all other brands, or did they just say they would recommend it? In fact, if you catch wise to the fact that what the nine of ten doctors are agreeing to is something much more generic than what is being sold, you might start to wonder: What's up with the one out of ten doctors who thinks smoking is cool? As a result, it has become fashionable for some commercials to poke fun at the trope, implying that the tenth doctor would have endorsed their product, were it not for some external force (he was reaching for the "agree" button when a venomous snake bit him, sending him into a convulsion before he could agree). For the classic disassembly of these sort of statistics, may we recommend Darrell Huff's How to Lie with Statistics? The 1950s were a lot less naive than you might assume. Indeed, this is a subtrope of Lies, Damned Lies, and Statistics. This trope has nothing to do with Doctor Dolittle, Doctor Octopus, Doctor Faustus, Doctor Horrible, Dr. Phil, Doctor Slump, Doctor Strange, Dr. Strangelove, Doctor Fate, Doctor Zhivago, Doctor Jekyll, Doctor Wily, Doctor Manhattan, Dr. Eggman, Doctor Steel, Witch Doctors of any denomination, or any of the Doctors from Doctor Who because it's Not That Kind of Doctor, though you probably could find something at least nine of them agreed on (with the common joke being "Nine out of ten Doctors agree — Four's scarf is too long"). |
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Humorous advertising-deconstruction program The Gruen Transfer has actually registered the company "Nine Out Of Ten Experts", and are offering the company's endorsement to products for a "small fee". Nine out of Ten Experts recommend The Gruen Transfer. | |
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Parodied in the game Sam & Max: Reality 2.0: | |
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On February 15 2008, a news anchor on Royal Canadian Air Farce said, "A survey shows 51% of Canadians believe there is such a thing as Love at First Sight. The other 49% are men." | |
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Colin Mochrie parodies this trope several times on Whose Line Is It Anyway?, primarily in skits where he acts as news anchor: | |
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The Looney Tunes films "The Major Lied Til' Dawn" and "Daffy Duck and the Dinosaur" do quick references for Wheaties cereal for the era they were released ("With cavemen, it's Duckies, 2 to 1"). | |
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Hard Candy. In response to the You're Insane! trope a character quips, "Four out of five doctors agree." | |
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Parodied in a 2004 Corner Gas episode when Wanda admitted that she hadn't seen a dentist since 1992. Brent said, "Well, you should really try to squeeze in a visit every decade or so. Four out of five dentists recommend seeing a dentist. I don't know what the fifth guy's thinking." | |
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Pokémon: Mewtwo Returns: Misty and Brock drink some water from the Purity River and love the taste. Ash drinks it and says it tastes "like something's been swimming in it." After Brock and Misty accuse him of "having no taste", Ash has Pikachu try the water, only for him and Togepi to love it. | |
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One of Marvel's solicitations for Nextwave claimed "nine out of ten dentists recommend Nextwave. In fact, they recommend it so much, they beat the tenth up, and he fell into line." | |
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RoboCop: The Series has an interesting example, nine out of ten doctors employed by a MegaCorp recommend a drug (that is manufactured and sold by the same MegaCorp), clearly in an attempt to invoke the trope. | |
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A strip in Legostar Galactica has this. It turns out that the doctor being talked to is the tenth. | |
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One MAD cartoon had a group of dentists cheerfully saying "Brush after every meal!" with one surly-looking holdout muttering "I'm sure you have better things to do with your time." | |
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Biter Comics: Turns out, the fifth dentist has a business minor, and would rather you not take care of your teeth at all so that you'll stay a repeat "customer". He's better than the one with an art minor, though... | |
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A Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs Fun T-Shirt has the message "Six out of seven dwarfs aren't Happy." | |
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A humorous variant in Mass Effect 2: | |
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Bart Simpson #22 features a blurb on the cover stating "4 out of 5 dentists recommend Bongo for their patients who read comics!" | |
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Parodied when The Goodies go into the advertising business in "It Might As Well Be String". | |
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A strip of 9 Chickweed Lane showed a group of white-coated figures walking away from another whom they'd apparently just hanged (only his legs are shown, dangling from the top of the panel), and an onlooker remarking, "Nine out of ten doctors agreed." | |
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Not for Broadcast: The Jus de Cochon advert boasts that seven out of ten dentists recommend their skincare product. | |
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Parodied on Fresh Off the Boat with Marvin, the Wongs' dentist neighbor, and his four dentist friends. One of them, Ted, always disagrees with the group on anything and everything. | |
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Dying after beaming into a toxic atmosphere in Space Quest V: The Next Mutation results this quote, "4 out of 5 doctors agree that beaming into a toxic atmosphere without the proper equipment can be hazardous to your health." | |
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Hitherby Dragons: in the short story "No Actual Bears Were Harmed", Jane goes on a quest to confront the tenth dentist, because his approval is needed to bring Baldur back to life. However, Dentist 10 has a (tragic) reason not to approve of anything... | |
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The Patrick Star Show: Parodied in "Home ECCH!". When Squidina presents her new pickle pie to her home ec teacher after he wakes up in the hospital, he wonders if it's safe to eat. The doctors react, with four telling him to eat it and one telling him not to. He says, "Four out of five doctors can't be wrong!" and eats it. While the food was cooked properly, it triggers his gluten allergy. | |
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Played for laughs in Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood: a doctor who's treating your bullet wounds will mention that four out of five doctors would use leeches, lucky for you he's the fifth. | |
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SpongeBob SquarePants has the '50s Krusty Krab ad with this line: | |
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From Lemon Demon's "Hyakugojyuuichi 2003": "Nine out of ten sociopaths agree / You gotta see Hyakugojyuuichi." How's that for meter? | |
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"Yes, mothers...nine out of ten British housewives can't tell the difference between Whizzo butter and a dead crab." | |
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Pearls Before Swine had a few comics where Pig introduced his friends, five doctors, four of which agreed on everything, the fifth of which always disagreed. This was for more than just chewing gum — they went to a funeral, and while the first four were offering their condolences, the fifth one stuck his hand into the coffin and said, "She's dead all right." | |
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Inverted in The Bird Feeder #15, "Statistics." Josh states that he's heard one out of three birds has yellow feathers, while standing in a group of three birds, none of which have yellow feathers. | |
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Parodied by 5 Second Films. "Nine out of ten scientists agree... guns are dangerous." The nine scientists then use their guns to hunt down and kill the tenth one who disagreed. | |
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Amphibia: Played for Laughs in the episode "A Caravan Named Desire", where Anne uses the phrase after she revealed how she accidentally ruined a school play (about oral hygiene) in the past: | |
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How I Met Your Mother references this when Ted finds out that Marshall and Lily share a toothbrush: | |
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The original Trident commercial is referenced on an early episode of Friends. Someone enters and says "Guess what!" and Chandler immediately quips, "The fifth dentist caved, and now they're all recommending Trident?" | |
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