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Not Actually the Ultimate Question

 Not Actually the Ultimate Question
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Advertisement:propertag.cmd.push(function() { proper_display('tvtropes_mobile_ad_1'); })Where the Ultimate Answer is not actually 42.
A scene opens. Two characters stand by each other in silence. Then, one character breaks the silence by asking a vague, multi-meaning question such as "Why are we here?"
The other character then answers by going into a long monologue about the meaning of life, the existence of God, everyone's place in the world, how it is all one big mystery, and no one may ever know for sure.
Only that's not what the first character was asking. He meant something simpler, like "What did we come into this bookstore for?"
In a variation, it's obvious from the first that the question is about something specific, and the very act of treating it like a big question in the first place makes for a joke.
Mostly seen as the first lines of the first scene or a new scene. This can also be used as an exposition shortcut.
Advertisement:propertag.cmd.push(function() { proper_display('tvtropes_mobile_ad_2'); })Compare, contrast What's a Henway? Frequently a form of Comically Missing the Point. A variation of Mathematician's Answer.
Examples:
 Not Actually the Ultimate Question
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Gamecheetz (Webcomic)
 Not Actually the Ultimate Question
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DBTropes
 Not Actually the Ultimate Question / int_10b060ee
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In a 2021 Dork Tower strip, Ken asks Igor if he ever wonders why he's here. Igor replies that he tries to live in the moment, untroubled by existential questions. Ken clarifies that he was asking if Igor ever wonders why he's here, still living in the game room six months after lockdown ended.
 Not Actually the Ultimate Question / int_10b060ee
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One episode of The Penguins of Madagascar opens thusly.
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In Eric, when at the end of time Astfgl the demon lord speaks with Death, resulting in the following exchange:
 Not Actually the Ultimate Question / int_135faa14
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 Eric
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From A Hard Day's Night:
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In Reaper Man, when Death is asked: "Why are we here?", he says: "I do not speculate on cosmic matters."
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Not Actually the Ultimate Question / int_1fc7499e
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Shows up a few times in Angel:
In the episode "Sanctuary", Faith has agreed to stay with Angel and start atoning for her (many) sins:
In "War Zone", Angel does this deliberately while Perp Sweating.
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Not Actually the Ultimate Question / int_2212773a
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Not Actually the Ultimate Question
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On Slings & Arrows, Kate has just found out that Oliver, who's about to direct a production of Hamlet, has died in an accident. She asks "What will happen to Hamlet?" (meaning, to the production).
 Not Actually the Ultimate Question / int_2a6ee2b0
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Not Actually the Ultimate Question / int_2a6ee2b0
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Not Actually the Ultimate Question
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In the 1968 version of The Love Bug, when Jim and Carole find out that the VW Bug has a mind of its own, and it won't let either of them exit the car, Carole tries to call for help from some hippies in the van parked next to them:
 Not Actually the Ultimate Question / int_2baca2eb
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Not Actually the Ultimate Question / int_2baca2eb
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Not Actually the Ultimate Question
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In I Shall Wear Midnight, when Esk is asked "Do you know what the time is?" she replies "It is a way of describing one of the notional dimensions of four-dimensional space. But for your purposes, it's about ten forty-five."
 Not Actually the Ultimate Question / int_300b0c1f
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In Airplane II: The Sequel:
 Not Actually the Ultimate Question / int_30464d62
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The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (1978):
A variant occurs when the ship has just landed in a weird, icy cave. Zaphod, waxing philosophical: "We could really... we could really be in this cave!" Arthur, unimpressed: "We are in this cave."
And a few minutes later...
We already know that the Answer to the Ultimate Question is "42". So, in a more plot-relevant sense, "What do you get when you multiply six by nine?" is Not Actually the Ultimate Question. Especially since six times nine is 54. Except in base 13. Douglas Adams does not write jokes in base 13.
The joke was also used in this context; when Arthur learns that the mice have spent millions of years trying to find the Question, he immediately asks "Why?" They reply "No, we thought of that, but it doesn't fit the answer."
 Not Actually the Ultimate Question / int_30d9627b
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 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (1978) (Radio)
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From the Scamalot episode "Toaster:"
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In the Mad Men episode "The Gypsy and the Hobo", Don and Betty take the kids trick-or-treating following Don's confession of his past identity.
 Not Actually the Ultimate Question / int_33fdae4d
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Episode 5 of YuruYuri starts with one character being invited out in the middle of the night by her love interest and dragged all over town by her and others to line up in front of a huge building (each cut has her give a bemused "eh?" in hilarious contrast to the calm, collected others). She finally asks, "Just when are you going to explain this to me? What on Earth am I doing here?"
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Dragon Age: Inquisition: There's some party banter poking fun at one of the gripes with Dragon Age II:
It also doubles as Foreshadowing, as the secret villain of the game is one of your companions... whose perspective of himself and his motivations are exactly as Varric says.
 Not Actually the Ultimate Question / int_39fe00f1
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House of Mouse:
A minor running gag is that Horace Horsecollar would respond to any question in such a manner, at least the first time. (He'd always use three statements, too.)
The first episode had this:
 Not Actually the Ultimate Question / int_3adfb1ba
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Inverted in a Calvin and Hobbes strip.
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Space Cases has an example where Thelma gets asked the wrong question, and sure enough, ends up starting with the Big Bang... surprisingly enough, she gets to the end after a scene switch!
 Not Actually the Ultimate Question / int_41645a44
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From the Animaniacs episode "Taming of the Screwy"
 Not Actually the Ultimate Question / int_426a7572
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Not Actually the Ultimate Question / int_426a7572
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Not Actually the Ultimate Question
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Supernatural. Donatello is prone to this, as a spacey academic.
 Not Actually the Ultimate Question / int_43576f5
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 Supernatural
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Not Actually the Ultimate Question / int_43576f5
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Not Actually the Ultimate Question
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Subverted in The Fairly Oddparents. When Chester and AJ needed a story for the school newspaper. At one point they woke up their teacher to show them the news, he asked if they were aware of the time. Chester replied that journalism has no schedule, and he doesn't have a watch.
 Not Actually the Ultimate Question / int_453a04b0
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Not Actually the Ultimate Question / int_453a04b0
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Not Actually the Ultimate Question
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This is very common in the Discworld books.
In The Light Fantastic, it's mentioned that the greatest philosopher of the Disc was asked at a party "Why are you here?" He needed three years for the answer.
In Equal Rites, when a young girl is asked (after arriving unexpectedly) where she came from, she answers that Granny won't tell her that yet.
In Eric, when at the end of time Astfgl the demon lord speaks with Death, resulting in the following exchange:
In Reaper Man, when Death is asked: "Why are we here?", he says: "I do not speculate on cosmic matters."
In I Shall Wear Midnight, when Esk is asked "Do you know what the time is?" she replies "It is a way of describing one of the notional dimensions of four-dimensional space. But for your purposes, it's about ten forty-five."
In Going Postal, there's an inversion, as unlikely as that sounds. Vetinari asks a serious philosophical question and gets the answer, "Well, my lord, I've always thought that what the world really needs are filing boxes which are not so flimsy."
 Not Actually the Ultimate Question / int_468bebb0
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Not Actually the Ultimate Question
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An episode of Goodness Gracious Me has two teenagers in a Hindu temple, one of whom asks the other "why are we here?" After the second gives a long philosophical speech, the first asks "No, why are we here? We're Sikhs."
 Not Actually the Ultimate Question / int_48659162
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In The Light Fantastic, it's mentioned that the greatest philosopher of the Disc was asked at a party "Why are you here?" He needed three years for the answer.
 Not Actually the Ultimate Question / int_4bfae3e9
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Not Actually the Ultimate Question
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A couple times in A Girl and Her Fed:
A variation, when the Fed asks of a robotic arm that the Girl is brandishing, "Is that a human arm?"
A completely straight example, when Coolidge asks Mare, "Do you think it will be enough?" — "it" being their security measures, not continuing to fight even in the face of possible failure.
 Not Actually the Ultimate Question / int_4c7b30e1
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Not Actually the Ultimate Question
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In Infinity Train: Blossoming Trail, Chloe asks her partners Atticus and Lexi why they are hereExplanation The here being the Hidden Temple Car:
 Not Actually the Ultimate Question / int_4e7bc558
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Not Actually the Ultimate Question
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The Suite Life of Zack & Cody:
 Not Actually the Ultimate Question / int_4f1f3628
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Not Actually the Ultimate Question
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A variation in The Keys Stand Alone: The Soft World: The four have just been left alone in their VIP quarters in the Guardians' city, and the following exchange takes place:
 Not Actually the Ultimate Question / int_4f7a49d9
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Inverted in a comic scene from Xena: Warrior Princess, in which Plucky Comic Relief Joxer is helping the heroines and "king of thieves" Autolycus track down Joxer's long-lost brother Jett.
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Homestuck inverts this here:
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Not Actually the Ultimate Question
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In Terra Ignota, when Martin Guildbreaker is interviewing Cato Weeksbooth, he asks why Cato has been volunteering at the science museum since he was fifteen. Cato goes on a long rant about how science is being taught wrong, and it's all geared towards end goals like "learn geometry so you can design a building." Martin politely explains that he just wanted to know why Cato started at that age specifically.
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Played with in Penny Arcade, when Gabe's password hint on a website is "what is delicious"
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Not Actually the Ultimate Question
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Used in Green Lantern: Agent Orange. Hal Jordan has been stuck with a blue ring, which is messing with his green ring, and keeps asking, "What do you hope for?"
 Not Actually the Ultimate Question / int_553051f
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In The Order of the Stick, when Elan receives a flying carpet from General Tarquin:
 Not Actually the Ultimate Question / int_5755b96a
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On Not Always Related, this little girl asks her mother where she came from. She was expecting an answer like "St. Louis".
 Not Actually the Ultimate Question / int_57a3683f
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The Dick Van Dyke Show: Richie asks "where did I come from?" Rob & Laura think that he means the act of procreation and try to give him The Talk, after which he clarifies: his friend says that he (the friend) comes from New York, so where does Richie come from? His parents tell him that he comes from New Rochelle.
 Not Actually the Ultimate Question / int_57e3ab58
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Chinatown. In this case Gittes understands perfectly well what Sessions means but is simply exasperated by his lot in life.
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Inverted in Everybody Loves Raymond. Ray's daughter Ally asks 'Where do babies come from?'. He responds with a typical, awkward birds and the bees talk, but it turns out she was wondering about the meaning of human existence.
 Not Actually the Ultimate Question / int_627b3897
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In Dan and Mab's Furry Adventures, most questions of this type are met with The Talk.
 Not Actually the Ultimate Question / int_708ae58b
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The Avatar: The Last Airbender episode "The Waterbending Scroll" has one such exchange between the antivillainous Prince Zuko, his wise uncle Iroh, and some hired pirates:
Iroh then points out that the kid heroes have hijacked the pirates' literal ship, and the pirates proceed to chase the heroes in Zuko's ship. Zuko runs after them, leaving Iroh to observe: "Maybe it should be a proverb."
 Not Actually the Ultimate Question / int_72262aee
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In Equal Rites, when a young girl is asked (after arriving unexpectedly) where she came from, she answers that Granny won't tell her that yet.
 Not Actually the Ultimate Question / int_72f26584
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In Going Postal, there's an inversion, as unlikely as that sounds. Vetinari asks a serious philosophical question and gets the answer, "Well, my lord, I've always thought that what the world really needs are filing boxes which are not so flimsy."
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On Arthur, Carl, who has Asperger's Syndrome, takes George literally when asked his opinion of George's drawing of a lion. Carl says that lions used to live all over the world, but now live only in Africa and Asia. George is interested, but he has to clarify that he was asking Carl what he thought of his drawing.
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Two of the White Ninjas in Destroy All Humans! 2 have a conversation that is a direct Shout-Out to the Red vs. Blue example.
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Spider-Man: Far From Home:
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The first episode shows two characters on top of one of the Blood Gulch bases. One asks the other, "Do you ever wonder why we're here?". The other expectantly responds with a brief speech about whether or not we were created, or just popped into existence. What the asking character actually meant was "Why are we here in a box-canyon in the middle of nowhere?" It even gives a Shout-Out to Halo and how they'd be fighting aliens if Master Chief hadn't blown up the Covenant armada single-handed.
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Paranatural: The school bully has some questions about the events of the previous night, but unfortunately he asks the resident Cloud Cuckoolander.
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Girl Genius, when Gil confronts the abbot of the Corbetites about the Spark-related chaos in their rail network:
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In the Bugs Bunny cartoon "This Is a Life?", host Elmer Fudd surprises Bugs to be the guest of honor on the show. He entreats Bugs to tell his life story, and says "Start from the beginning." Bugs goes back to the origins of life itself.
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In an episode of Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers where the team is in France, whenever a character asks a question about their specific circumstances, they're in the presence of a French existentialist philosopher mouse who takes the question and runs with it.
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Lost
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The Real Ghostbusters episode "Drool the Dog-Faced Goblin" has this conversation:
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Red vs. Blue:
The first episode shows two characters on top of one of the Blood Gulch bases. One asks the other, "Do you ever wonder why we're here?". The other expectantly responds with a brief speech about whether or not we were created, or just popped into existence. What the asking character actually meant was "Why are we here in a box-canyon in the middle of nowhere?" It even gives a Shout-Out to Halo and how they'd be fighting aliens if Master Chief hadn't blown up the Covenant armada single-handed.
And then it's played with and returned to in a later episode.
Similarly, the Blood Gulch Chronicles series ends with Caboose asking the same question, and Church gives a rant about how hate should be a personal thing, not a product of prejudice. Caboose just wanted to know why they were standing in the open sun when they could stand in the shade.
And given a Double Subversion, combined with a Call-Back in Revelation, Chapter 18. Sarge asks each and every one of the remaining Reds and Blues why they are here. Grif begins reading his lines from Season One, when Sarge cuts him off and explains that he meant to ask an even more meaningful question - why are each of the Reds and Blues still in this group, when they could be off somewhere else? He then delivers a Rousing Speech that brings the both teams together and makes them ready to kick ass.
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A short story in American Girls Magazine some years back had a woman come to a New Ager tween who people had been mistaking for a Kid Detective (It Makes Sense in Context) saying "I need help finding patience and harmony." The New Ager is delighted that someone actually wants her help in finding enlightenment... until she learns that Patience and Harmony are just the names of the woman's lost cats.
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Pops up in Mystery Science Theater 3000 during The Incredible Melting Man.
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In Normality, when you are about to be captured later in the game, the Dialogue Tree allows you to respond to the question "Why are you here?" with "That is a question that has puzzled philosophers for thousands of years.".
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In But Really Really Fast's April Fools' Day 2022 special, "JoJo's Bizarre Adventure But Really Really REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY FAST", DIO confronts Jotaro and asks what the point of the super-fast recap is. Jotaro instead assumes that DIO asked about what the point of life is.
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In a Questionable Content, Marten knows why they're there. In the bar.
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Adventurers!, after Khrima's rival Garshask captures his general Argent:
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Arthur, King of Time and Space, here.
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Used in a FoxTrot strip, with Paige asking her father why they have fireworks for the Fourth of July. Roger muses on the celebratory symbolism behind the tradition before Paige corrects him; why do they have fireworks, as they duck an out-of-control rocket Jason had lit that zooms over their heads.
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In The IT Crowd, Jen tries to dodge an interview question about what IT stands for this way, since she doesn't actually know what the initials mean.
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Leverage has a classic example:
 Not Actually the Ultimate Question / int_b712435c
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Ninjago: When Zane meets P.I.X.A.L., another nindroid without his emotional capacity, she introduces herself as "Primary Interactive X-ternal Assistant Life-form" and asks what Zane stands for. Zane starts giving a speech about standing for honor and justice, before Jay points out that P.I.X.A.L. just assumed his name is also an acronym.
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In PHD, the nameless guy's roommate asks him 'Why are we doing this?' Nameless goes into an extended rant about how terrible grad school is and confesses he has no idea why he's there. The roommate says, 'No, I mean, why are we doing the problems from the wrong chapter?'
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Good Omens (2019): When Anathema asks Aziraphale to explain everything, Aziraphale goes back a bit farther than necessary.
 Not Actually the Ultimate Question / int_b8e28f2e
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In Beetle Bailey when Zero asks Sarge why he is wearing a particular uniform, and Sarge goes off the scale in patriotic fervour. But Zero wondered why he was wearing a parade uniform on a regular day.
 Not Actually the Ultimate Question / int_c00034c2
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Hamish and Dougal subverted the page quote utterly.
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In Blackadder II, when Blackadder is obviously drunk in front of his Puritan relatives:
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Doctor Who:
The serial "City of Death" (written by Douglas Adams) features the following exchange:
Also, in the Seventh Doctor story "Dragonfire", the Doctor distracts a guard by engaging him in a philosophical discussion and then later bursts in on a hold up by Belazs, gun in hand:
A variant in New Who when Donna tells Ten she has to leave and he launches into a heartwarming goodbye monologue...only to realize she meant she's going to visit her family for a bit and then come back. Donna doesn't let him off the hook easily, predictably.
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Blake's 7:
 Not Actually the Ultimate Question / int_c6f7e804
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In the third novel of The Dagger and the Coin series, Cithrin is sent to train with a banker and wants to make a good impression. Cithrin was raised by a shrewd banker who trained her to discern complex economic and political issues into seemingly simple and unrelated situations, but offered no love and left her emotionally stunted. So, when her new mentor asks Cithrin why she gave her a vase full of flowers, Cithrin gives a long and detailed answer about how gifts create a relationship of obligation in a different/superior way to money. At this point, the mentor sadly comments that she gave the gift so Cithrin would like her, and Cithrin is horrified at having revealed how bad she is at normal human interactions.
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In a Monty Python's Flying Circus sketch, Dennis Moore, who robs from the rich and gives to the poor, is asked by his latest victims "What do you want? Why are you here?" He takes this as a philosophical question despite the fact that he just swung into their window to steal their possessions for the third time.
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In Gene Roddenberry's Andromeda: Trance has just inexplicably broken into Dylan's prison cell and offers him water. Dylan asks, "How?" Trance replies: "Well, when two hydrogen atoms love each other very much, they find an oxygen atom and..."
 Not Actually the Ultimate Question / int_d109f322
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Near the end of Monster Hunter Legion, Owen receives an info dump from the ghost of a dead Hunter, telling him the nature of the monster that has attacked their hotel and exactly what the monster is up to now. The ghost says that Owen needs to defeat the monster, and when Owen asks how to do that, the ghost just points upwards. Owen asks if that means that God is going to smite the monster. The ghost says, no, it means that Owen needs to get to the roof.
 Not Actually the Ultimate Question / int_d2d62c81
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Ed, Edd n Eddy:
In "Wish You Were Ed", after Ed somehow gets out of having his head stuck in a mailbox offscreen.
Inverted in "One Plus One Equals Ed"
 Not Actually the Ultimate Question / int_d46cc708
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In the film Dunston Checks In, an orangutan gets loose in the Majestic Hotel.
 Not Actually the Ultimate Question / int_d66cb6d3
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In Captain SNES: The Game Masta, The Eater of Dreams learns that "What are you doing here?" may not be the best question to ask an angel of resurrection.
 Not Actually the Ultimate Question / int_d8811eb6
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Veronica Mars had this exchange:
 Not Actually the Ultimate Question / int_da861da1
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An interesting aversion/variation occurs in Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy:
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On The Legend of Korra, the smooth-talking Varrick invokes this when Asami asks him why he's there. He starts to wax poetics about the nature of the universe, she wants to know why an escaped criminal is eating dinner with the ruler of Zaofu. (It's hard to tell if his tangent is sincere or not.)
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Early in American Gods, Shadow is released from prison and about to fly home, which makes him remember an anecdote his old cell-mate once told him. During a previous parole, the cellmate had planned to fly home to see his sister, but after losing his temper when being informed that his driver's license had expired, ended up going on a drunken bender, robbing a gas station to get booze money, being arrested for public urination, and ultimately winding up back in prison with extra time for armed robbery (in that order). Shadow, who is very intelligent despite pretending to be dumb muscle questioned whether the moral of the story was that "The kind of behavior that works in a specialized environment, such as prison, can fail to work and in fact become harmful when used outside such an environment", but his cellmate insisted the moral was to not piss off people who work in airports.
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In the Firefly episode "Out of Gas", Mal tries to convince Zoe that Serenity is a decent ship:
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Austin & Ally:
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The Muppet Movie:
A Running Gag:
Later, when Kermit sees Fozzie's abysmal comedy routine:
 Not Actually the Ultimate Question / int_f1b5fde2
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Played with in the Britanick sketch "Everything", in which Brian really does want to hear everything.
 Not Actually the Ultimate Question / int_f1c48c32
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In an episode of The Tick, Tick is knocked into orbit by a rampaging Proto-Clown. When he asks "What am I doing here?", a manifestation of his subconscious thinks he means this in the existential sense and sends him to a Journey to the Center of the Mind. After much weirdness, Tick finally has the answer: "I'm here because... a big clown hit me!"
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The Friends episode "The One With The Two Parts":
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Babylon 5:
Deconstructed in one episode where the point is to ask these questions until the questionee starts revealing things that are actually relevant:
And also inverted by the episode "Comes the Inquisitor", in which the titular inquisitor interrogates Delenn with questions of this type, responding to mundane answers with Electric Torture:
The above are 2 of 5 questions pivotal to the series which invert this trope, they are presented as the ultimate questions, each asked by a different race. Which one is answered and how it is answered is very important... and NEVER ask the question from one race to another.
The Vorlon in general like to play with this trope, by giving broad, and not immediately helpful, responses to simple questions.
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Field of Dreams: Ray Kinsella convinces Terrence Mann to go to a baseball game with him. As they walk into the stadium, they discuss Terrence's writing, his activism, and his current reclusiveness. Finally, Ray asks him:
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In an episode of WKRP in Cincinnati, Jennifer reluctantly became the host of a radio advice show. One exchange from her show:
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The following is a list of statements referring to the current page from other pages.

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Mistaken for Index
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 The Muppet Movie / int_139d829f
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