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Not Even Bothering with an Excuse

 Not Even Bothering with an Excuse
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Not Even Bothering with an Excuse
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One character has a problem or asks a group of his friends for a favor. Helping would be uncomfortable, awkward or extremely inconvenient. Everyone he asks declines, claiming "I have to wash my hair" or even "I Have to Go Iron My Dog." The least diplomatic, however, will use a phrase along the lines of "I could help. But I won't."
The character who decides they're Not Even Bothering with an Excuse could have a variety of motivations. Under Rule of Drama, the speaker may be hostile — or even be the cause of the problem. In lighter situations, the speaker may genuinely be busy, and Cannot Tell a Lie. It may be a case of Comedic Sociopathy. However, the trope is usually invoked by Rule of Funny, after the help-seeking character has exhausted every other possibility and heard all kinds of excuses. In this case, such Brutal Honesty may actually be appreciated by the person in need of help.
Often the second part of a Bait-and-Switch Comment. Contrast Not What It Looks Like (especially in cases where someone caught in a compromising situation flat-out says "This is exactly what it looks like").
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DBTropes
 Not Even Bothering with an Excuse / int_14afa9d
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Sleepless Domain: In Chapter 6, Kokoro wants to talk to Undine, so she makes a rather poor attempt to casually run into her. When Undine asks what she's doing, Kokoro immediately gives up on thinking of an excuse.
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The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Whenever the kids all come up with an excuse not to do some undesirable task, Hilary finishes up with, "I just don't want to."
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Frequently happens in House, by the title character mostly, but also by others.
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 House
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Suits:
 Not Even Bothering with an Excuse / int_2313563f
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The Simpsons: After prohibition is enforced, Homer starts sneaking alcohol into Moe's via the bowling alley, using his own hollowed-out bowling balls. When Marge, unaware of the scheme, asks him why he has so many bowling balls, Homer's response is "I'm not gonna lie to you Marge... So long!"
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One sidequest in Borderlands 2 involves inviting people to Claptrap's birthday party. Zed, Scooter and Moxxi at least try to make some sort of half-assed excuses. Marcus, however, just laughs and says, "No."
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Community:
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On Scrubs, Dr. Kelso pulled this one in response to Carla trying to organize a group photo:
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On Corner Gas, when asked to help out at a senior's home, Emma and Karen weasel for a few seconds, then grudgingly accept. Oscar just gives a flat, "No." Then he turns to the other two: "See how easy it is?"
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In Papers, Please, one day when Jorji Costava comes into the booth, there's a discrepancy in his weight vs. what's on the documents. Most that are scanned for this reason get defensive, but when Jorji is found with packages strapped to his leg...
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The Big Bang Theory:
One episode has Sheldon anxious at the prospect of giving a speech at an awards banquet. His friends offer to help him work through his anxiety in different ways. Leonard offers to do a therapy session with him, Raj says he will teach Sheldon some Indian meditation techniques, and Penny agrees to take him to buy a new suit for the occasion. Sheldon asks what contribution Howard will make, and Howard replies, "My contribution is to pretend I give a damn about your piddly-ass problems. And that's 24 hours a day, buddy." Sheldon appreciates his honesty.
Sheldon does this a lot to his friends, saying things like "I don't want to do that because it doesn't sound like fun." And when he walks away from a conversation, he freely admits that he's leaving because the topics of conversation don't interest him.
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 The Big Bang Theory
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In Just Shoot Me!, Dennis excuses himself from listening to one of Nina's stories with:
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Spider-Man (PS4): When we first meet Captain Yuri Watanabe, she is on the roof of the Police Station, her taking out a stick of gum in the same mannerism as someone would take out a cigarette.
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Ayakashi Triangle: Shadow Mei constantly spies on everyone and isn't reluctant or evasive about learning things that way.
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Sonic Boom: In "Let's Play Musical Friends", Orbot and Cubot try to hang-out with the Sonic gang after quitting Dr. Eggman. Sonic and Amy get out of their invitation to play charades with patently made-up excuses, Sticks with a genuine one, and Knuckles:
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In the Press Gang episode "A Night In," Lynda is handing out "yellow slips" which mean that the recipient has to work on Saturday evening. Cue a round of excuses... and, when the round gets to Kenny, a wry look and the question, "Can you tell me which excuses haven't been used yet?"
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The Order of the Stick: At Tarquin's court, Elan and Haley have been using various excuses to discuss away from Tarquin's prying ears. Tarquin sees through the excuses but jumps to the wrong conclusion. After Elan and Haley catch onto his assumption, they feign to drop the pretense:
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There was a 7-way feud going on in WWE for possession of the Intercontinental Championship (which included the guys involved just stealing the belt from each other). At one point each of the seven men started cutting long promos about why they were the one who deserved the championship, constantly interrupting each other. Then it came to Luke Harper's turn...
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Hilda: At the beginning of the book, Hilda is seen going on so many adventures that eventually she can't think of any more excuses. One evening when she comes home covered in slime, she just tells her mum: "Whatever you're thinking, it's not that".
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In Dragon ShortZ episode 5, when Vegeta tries to get Piccolo to fight him:
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A Dragon Ball Z Abridged special video has Nappa and Krillin together performing a parody of "Born This Way" called "Bald This Way". When they expected Tien to join, he refuses.
From the series proper, we get this gem from Vegeta
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In one strip of Shortpacked!, Galasso calls on the radio for someone to deal with the two customers up front. Everyone either has a genuine reason or an excuse, in the middle of which, Mike offers "I don't feel like it."
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In The Brave Express Might Gaine, Might Senpuuji's excuse he gave his homeroom teacher for not being able to submit homework is this. The excuse is true in context with his status as a schedule-packed industrialist, but is also a lie to cover up his Brave Express involvement:
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In Fate/strange fake, Saber uses his Noble Phantasm after being summoned and nearly demolishes Snowfield's Opera House. Instead of taking his Master and scrambling away from the police and media, he gracefully steps out, outright confesses what he did, allows himself to be cuffed, and then leaps onto a police van to beg forgiveness at the top of his lungs and promise reparations, uncaring that everything is being transmitted live on TV. At no point he tries to enforce the secrecy the Holy Grail War normally demands. And, sadly, he only gets worse from there, dematerializing in front of police officers and approaching any problem in a loud, bombastic manner.
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Victorious:
On one occasion Beck starts to form an excuse, then gives up halfway and leaves.
When Robbie asked for their opinion on his reports on the school website, they halfheartedly make up this excuse.
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In the post-game of Psychonauts 2, entering Sasha's room shows Dr. Loboto in the transit system. When Raz calls him out, he quickly admits he's escaping after flimsily stating that he was supposed to wait in the Brain Tumbler and that he should be allowed to leave as he, according to his own words, has reformed.
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Phineas and Ferb: In "I Was a Middle-Aged Robot", Phineas and Ferb's dad Lawrence gets memory-wiped by accident. This causes Major Monogram to recall Perry the Platypus from his current assignment—with Dr. Doofenschmirtz visibly put off when Agent P won't tell him why he leaves even before foiling Dr. D's plan.
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In Iron Man Pepper Potts walks in on Tony's suit assembly having difficulty taking off the Power Armor because of the battle damage and delivers this gem:
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On 30 Rock, Kenneth is preparing a party, something that only Liz has attended in the past. When he invites Jack, Jack tells him, "I could make up some excuse, but I have too much respect for you. During your party, I'll be home listening to some Schubert, and uh, ironically viewing some Canadian pornography."
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In the Death Note fic As The World Falls Down, Matt pulls one of these on Soichiro.
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Lost: A few weeks after the plane crash Hurley decides to compile a census of the survivors so they can keep track of everyone. When he asks Locke why he was on the plane, Locke gives him an unsettling answer about looking for something that found him instead. Hurley is so weirded out he immediately walks away.
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On NCIS, Jimmy comes into the office with an allergic reaction to henna on his back and asks for help to apply ointment. Tony's and Ziva's responses?
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Rin to Nagisa in 50% OFF episode 10.
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One Piece: Played for Laughs at the end of the Enies Lobby Arc, when Luffy's grandfather, Garp, comes to pay him a visit. As a Marine, he's supposed to be trying to capture pirates like Luffy (especially a pirate as notorious as Luffy), but Garp doesn't want to purely because Luffy's family, and plans to write that in his official report. One of his subordinates notes that's not an excuse, and suggests reporting "they got away" instead. Unsurprisingly, Garp's superior doesn't accept the explanation of "he's my grandson" to why he didn't catch Luffy and sends him back.
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In the Futurama episode "The Luck of the Fryrish", Bender is fixing a horse race by crawling around in a bad horse costume drugging the other horses with Comatonin to make them sleepy, when he's confronted by a tiny jockey.
In "Near Death Wish" Fry receives an award and is upset that his relative Farnsworth didn't turn up at the ceremony.
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In Exterminatus Now, when a bunch of corrupted priests get caught red-handed performing blood sacrifices, the heretic spokesperson starts stammering before admitting "Look, I won't lie, it's what it looks like".
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In The Amazing World of Gumball episode "The Pizza", after Nicole tells her husband Richard that it's his turn to make dinner because "the only thing I feel like serving up today is a knuckle sandwich", Richard tries to pass the responsibility on to his son Gumball "'Cause I'm too angry to think of a valid excuse!" Gumball then tells his brother Darwin to make dinner, and simply hisses when asked why.
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Two and a Half Men has Charlie do this in the first season when he's really hungover at Jake's soccer game after coming home from Las Vegas and speaking to two mothers asking him questions about Alan and Judith's divorce. Once Alan arrives with coffee, Charlie just says "If you'll excuse me... screw it, I don't need a reason." and leaves.
In the third season Charlie ends a conversation with Judith with "I don't mean to be rude, but I'm tired of talking to you."
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My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic:
In the second season episode "Baby Cakes", four of the ponies asked to babysit have an excuse for not helping (promise to picnic, sorting out her friendship reports, harvesting race against caterpillars, Wonderbolts show). The fifth one, Rarity, just outright laughs and refuses.
In "Dungeon & Discord", when Discord is approached by Spike and Big Mac...
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One episode of Criminal Minds opens with Reid and Morgan chatting before the case is delivered.
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Forever (2014): Lucas has been working with his boss Henry for three years and has realized he knows almost nothing about him. When he suggests they go out for a beer or catch some music together, Henry responds with a simple "No, thank you." Lucas, disappointed, says he appreciates the candor.
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In Deadpool, as the title character prepares for his mission to rescue Vanessa from Ajax:
 Not Even Bothering with an Excuse / int_d7626bdd
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 Deadpool (2016)
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comment
The parental version of this trope is seen in the South Park episode "The Wacky Molestation Adventure". Kyle's parents say he can attend a Raging Pussies concert if Kyle cleans out the garage, shovels the driveway, and brings democracy to Cuba. Kyle does all three, accomplishing the final task by writing a letter so moving that it touches the heart of Fidel Castro. However, Kyle's parents still refuse to let him go to the concert, this time on the grounds of "because we don't want you to go", tacitly admitting that they were never going to let Kyle go to the concert, no matter what he did. This ultimately kicks off the Teenage Wasteland plot when Kyle calls child services on his parents as revenge.
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In Ugly Americans, Callie clones an Evil Mark so they can win a bowling team. When Grimes finds Mark in the closet, Evil Mark tries to claim he's Mark's brother, but has no reason for him to be in the closet, and so simply gives up and shoots Grimes in the knees.
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On Buffy the Vampire Slayer Spike didn't help fight the monster of the week once because he was "paralyzed with not caring very much."
 Not Even Bothering with an Excuse / int_e293455a
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Family Guy:
"Sibling Rivalry" ends with people opening a door to find Peter embracing a bag of his wife's liposuctioned fat. After a second, Peter replies "This is EXACTLY what it looks like."
One scene has Stewie running through a mall naked as part of a bet with Brian, then collecting the money while still naked.
In the crossover with The Simpsons, while Chief Wiggum is talking to the Griffins, Lou comes in and says "Chief? That excuse to leave you wanted is here."
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Jerome does this once on House of Anubis, when everyone is leaving the sit-down strike, and Victor threatens to expel them. At least the other students have genuine reasons why they don't want to stay.
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In A Few Good Men, Lt. Kaffee walks into a meeting late, and his CO says, "Don't worry, I know you don't have a good excuse, so I won't force you to come up with a bad one," to which Kaffee responds with a cheerful, "Thank you, sir!"
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How I Met Your Mother:
Robin is into Barney because she thinks he and Ted were in a fight. She asks him out, but then when she finds out he wasn't, she tries to think of a reason she can't go out with him.
Robin is wondering if her friends have watched her early morning news show. Ted, Lily, and Marshall keep coming up with excuses, while Barney repeatedly states that he's never seen it.
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In Legends of Tomorrow, Constantine visits the title character of Lucifer, who pronounces Constantine's name with the wrong "i" sound. When Constantine corrects him, he replies "sorry, I didn't care".
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In the pilot episode of Friends, Joey asks Phoebe whether she wants to come help them put together Ross' new furniture. She replies:
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The following is a list of statements referring to the current page from other pages.

 Not Even Bothering with an Excuse
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Oh Great, a Snark Index
 Not Even Bothering with an Excuse
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Room Shuffle
 Not Even Bothering with an Excuse
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Truth and Lies
 Hilda and the Stone Forest (Comic Book) / int_fb739a16
type
Not Even Bothering with an Excuse
 The Far Side (Comic Strip) / int_fb739a16
type
Not Even Bothering with an Excuse
 Reborn Trilogy / Fan Fic / int_fb739a16
type
Not Even Bothering with an Excuse
 A Protector's Pride (Fanfic) / int_fb739a16
type
Not Even Bothering with an Excuse
 The (Not So) Cynical Creators Guild (Fanfic) / int_fb739a16
type
Not Even Bothering with an Excuse
 A Few Good Men / int_fb739a16
type
Not Even Bothering with an Excuse
 Deadpool (2016) / int_fb739a16
type
Not Even Bothering with an Excuse
 Earthquake / int_fb739a16
type
Not Even Bothering with an Excuse
 The Act of Killing / int_fb739a16
type
Not Even Bothering with an Excuse
 Venom: Let There Be Carnage / int_fb739a16
type
Not Even Bothering with an Excuse
 Tear of Grace (Lets Play) / int_fb739a16
type
Not Even Bothering with an Excuse
 Adrian Mole / int_fb739a16
type
Not Even Bothering with an Excuse
 The Birds / int_fb739a16
type
Not Even Bothering with an Excuse
 The Thirteen Problems / int_fb739a16
type
Not Even Bothering with an Excuse
 Ayakashi Triangle (Manga) / int_fb739a16
type
Not Even Bothering with an Excuse
 Straight Outta Lynwood (Music) / int_fb739a16
type
Not Even Bothering with an Excuse
 Corner Gas / int_fb739a16
type
Not Even Bothering with an Excuse
 8 Out of 10 Cats / int_fb739a16
type
Not Even Bothering with an Excuse
 Forever (2014) / int_fb739a16
type
Not Even Bothering with an Excuse
 Home Improvement / int_fb739a16
type
Not Even Bothering with an Excuse
 House / int_fb739a16
type
Not Even Bothering with an Excuse
 House of Anubis / int_fb739a16
type
Not Even Bothering with an Excuse
 How I Met Your Mother / int_fb739a16
type
Not Even Bothering with an Excuse
 Just Shoot Me! / int_fb739a16
type
Not Even Bothering with an Excuse
 Knight Rider / int_fb739a16
type
Not Even Bothering with an Excuse
 Made in Canada / int_fb739a16
type
Not Even Bothering with an Excuse
 Press Gang / int_fb739a16
type
Not Even Bothering with an Excuse
 Scrubs / int_fb739a16
type
Not Even Bothering with an Excuse
 Superhuman Samurai Syber-Squad / int_fb739a16
type
Not Even Bothering with an Excuse
 The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air / int_fb739a16
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Not Even Bothering with an Excuse
 Victorious / int_fb739a16
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 Papers, Please (Video Game) / int_fb739a16
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Not Even Bothering with an Excuse
 50% OFF (Web Video) / int_fb739a16
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Not Even Bothering with an Excuse
 Ish State Experiments (Web Video) / int_fb739a16
type
Not Even Bothering with an Excuse
 Kitboga (Web Video) / int_fb739a16
type
Not Even Bothering with an Excuse
 Exterminatus Now (Webcomic) / int_fb739a16
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Not Even Bothering with an Excuse
 Naru-Hina Chronicles (Webcomic) / int_fb739a16
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Not Even Bothering with an Excuse
 Shortpacked! (Webcomic) / int_fb739a16
type
Not Even Bothering with an Excuse
 Paradise PD / int_fb739a16
type
Not Even Bothering with an Excuse
 Puss in Boots: The Last Wish / int_fb739a16
type
Not Even Bothering with an Excuse
 Wabbit: A Looney Tunes Production / int_fb739a16
type
Not Even Bothering with an Excuse
 Zootopia / int_fb739a16
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Not Even Bothering with an Excuse