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Paralyzing Fear of Sexuality
- 335 statements
- 63 feature instances
- 56 referencing feature instances
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Alice is celibate and might even come across as if she was asexual. However, her sexuality is actually very strong, it's just that she can't express it because she is too burdened by shame, fear, and/or guilt. Thus, she might be unable to take initiative herself or to consent to things she actually does want. Even if she does manage to take initiative or give consent, it might still backfire horribly as the shame, etc reasserts itself. This is a subtrope of Internalized Categorism: Alice really can't stand the thought of being one of those people — the "perverts", the "sinners", maybe even including anyone who actually likes sex instead of doing the proper thing. However, the character does not necessarily think that Sex Is Evil. Instead, she might simply doubt her own ability to handle it. There are many reasons why this might be, whether it's treated as funny or not. One of the most common is virginity, where a character who has never had sex before is nervous about it for one reason or another—sometimes because they don't know how; are worried about finishing too early or not at all (especially with teenagers); or they're just nervous about having sex for the first time in general. Other examples may be a fear of intimacy, leading to them fearing the inherent physical and emotional vulnerability involved in sexual situations, or low self-esteem. Another frequently used explanation for this is a character having been raped/sexually assaulted and developing a fear of sexuality as a result of the trauma. Note that in Real Life and in fiction alike, not everyone reacts this way, but both are reactions seen in survivors of rape and sexual assault and will vary from person to person. When a character struggling with this overcomes it, the problem might be resolved by entering a simple stable relationship. However, this could turn sour if the character hasn't really dealt with the underlying issues, or it could result in a counter-reaction, where the character turns overtly sexual. This can be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on how the character handles it. In a balanced story, both paths are possible. There might also be some zig-zagging as the character learns to cope with their sexuality. However, in an Anvilicious work, only one of the two paths is possible, since the author has already decided either that Sex Is Good or that Sex Is Evil. Note that while this trope and Sex Is Evil, and I Am Horny are sometimes caused by the same social and psychological mechanisms, they have two very different ways of handling it: Sex Is Evil And I Am Horny is about acting out in a way that is self-destructive and/or abusive while Paralyzing Fear Of Sexuality is about avoiding expressing one's sexuality at all. Both are discussed in Psychosexual Horror. See also Celibate Hero and Windmill Political. Compare Heteronormative Crusader. Contrast Does Not Like Men and He-Man Woman Hater. This trope is much more frequently applied to women than men, and when it is applied to men, it’s often considered funny. In Real Life, it’s widely believed to be far more common among women than among men, along with a perception that if a man suffers from it, it's often partially built on a fear of being abusive. Another common belief is that all gay people are promiscuous (though Armoured Closet Gay characters have been known to overlap with this trope — whether they're repulsed by the idea of sex with The Beard, afraid that acting on their true orientation would corrupt them, or both). However, it’s important to note that there is a vast range of reasons someone might feel this way, and anyone can be nervous about sex, regardless of gender or sexuality. When a kid is too shy to express their (usually nonsexual) Puppy Love, they may appear to be an Affection-Hating Kid on the surface. Examples |
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In Watchmen, Rorschach has this as a part of his pathology. | |
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The premise of The 40-Year-Old Virgin. See page quote. It avoids many of the pitfalls of dealing with this trope by introducing a large and relatively well-developed supporting cast, all with their own hangups surrounding sex and/or relationships to work through. | |
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Tina Maxwell of Nineteen-Ninety-Something is a Moral Guardian of the Tipper Gore stripe, who believes any and all portrayals of intimacy are evil and must be stamped out. She tends to get a panicky, manic expression and quickly changes the subject whenever one of her kids asks her anything about sex (up to and including "Why are you freaking out about this?") | |
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Sons and Lovers: Miriam. Her mother is a crazed religious zealot who thinks that Sex Is Evil and intercourse should only be allowed for the specific purpose of making babies. Her nonstop hectoring of Miriam has left Miriam terrified of sex. She's reluctant to have sex with Paul, much to his frustration, and when she finally does put out she's terrible at it, closing her eyes and clenching her fists. Paul is so disappointed that he breaks up with her immediately. | |
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In Runaways, Klara is horrified by sexuality, due to a combination of a strict religious upbringing and a lot of sexual abuse. | |
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Laharl from Disgaea has a rather extreme aversion to sexy women and all talk of sexual things. In fact, one villain takes advantage of this by stocking his side with succubi and barely-dressed Cat Girls, which actually halves Laharl's stats for that level. | |
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Dexter: Dexter Morgan deliberately dates a woman with this issue because it suits him down to the ground — he wants a relationship for passing as normal and grows to enjoy the emotional connection. While Dexter does have a sex drive, he's afraid of himself (he's a serial killer and sometimes gets aroused by thoughts of murder and such) and he's also afraid that his girlfriend will see through his facade if they get intimate. He's also faintly repulsed by intimacy (in the novel, deeply repulsed, and also pretty much despises Rita, but they made the TV character much more relatable), and every previous sexual encounter has resulted in his ability to fake normality being totally blown out of the water since he's emotionally abnormal and spends most of his life going through the motions. This does not work very well for sex. She eventually starts to get over her trauma and get her sex drive back, and with some work, they eventually manage to build a functioning sex life together because he does get inadvertently attached to her...and then his emotional life gets a shake-up courtesy of the Season One antagonist and his mind games. In the books it's implied the only reason he and Rita can have a sex life is that she's so damaged from her abusive ex-husband, she can't tell that he's not "doing it right". | |
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Aliena in The Pillars of the Earth has rape flashbacks when she's with Jack, resulting in Kiss-Kiss-Slap and her running into the woods. Jack is understandably bewildered by all of this. | |
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Taken to utterly ridiculous levels in Harry Potter Becomes a Communist when Snape, who is portrayed as The Fundamentalist, tries to capture Cho Chang. She successfully defeats him by throwing her naked boobs at him, which causes him to freak out and declare, "The female body is so fucking sinful! You keep those horrible things away from me or I'll go to hell!" | |
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Bitchy Bitch has this kind of baggage in her backstory, and it keeps dragging her down. | |
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In Zetman, Kouga Amagi develops this from experiencing the "Jirou Incident" where a large number of innocent victims were raped and murdered as part of an attempted plot to discredit his family. He starts going out with Mayu, a girl he rescued from that ordeal, but after two years together he hasn't even held her hand because of the PTSD-like symptoms he gets from anything associated with sex or intimacy. | |
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Laurie in Halloween (1978). It's pretty much all but outright stated that she is the only virgin among her friends. While she shows a clear interest in the opposite sex she is either too shy, awkward, or scared to act upon her desires. Word of God states she was written like this to make her comparable to the main villain, Michael, and that when she stabs him several times at the end of the movie, this is her taking out her pent-up sexual frustrations. | |
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Raj in The Big Bang Theory goes completely silent the moment a non-familial woman is near him, let alone talking directly to him. He literally can't talk to women. He still finds ways to date and have sex, and eventually grows out of this (although he never grows out of sabotaging his relationships). | |
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Anne in A Little Night Music, which is why she is still a virgin despite having been married 11 months. | |
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In Harbourmaster, Governor Tal Monteblanc is deeply uncomfortable with sexuality and physical intimacy, to the point that he can't even offer a perfectly chaste comforting hug. | |
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Jaenelle in the Black Jewels trilogy has this problem after the absolutely horrific abuse she suffered as a child. Naturally, she and her love interest manage to work through it eventually. | |
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In The Howling (1977), Karyn has major problems being intimate with her husband Roy after being raped, often feeling disconnected from her body or suffering from flashbacks to the assault. She has to force herself to be intimate with him and doesn't much enjoy it, even though she really wants for their sex life to go back to the way it was. Roy becomes increasingly frustrated by this, culminating in him starting an affair with Marcia. | |
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Vorkosigan Saga: Mark Vorkosigan is tortured into this by his "guardian". Eventually, the legendary Betan therapy helps. Beautiful, lovable—not to mention brave and understanding—Kareen Koudelka helps even more. | |
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In the Maleficent fanfic Your servant, Mistress, Maleficent suffers from this. Understandably, as the incident that makes her go dark in the film is changed into the thing that it was symbolic for in the first place. As this is an all-human story wherein she and Diaval are in a BDSM relationship, this makes things very complicated. | |
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Downplayed with James of Touch, whose experience with rape makes him noticeably uncomfortable when sexual topics are discussed. He gets very angry when his own sexuality is mentioned and later implies that he's attempting to avoid his sexuality entirely because he doesn't want to be anything like his rapist. | |
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Girls Bravo: Yukinari gets hives whenever he makes contact with other girls, mostly because he is, and has been, intimidated and pushed around by them all his life. | |
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SPY×FAMILY: Yor Forger, unlike her husband Loid (who's seduced numerous women for his missions), has zero experience in romance, and thus becomes a wrecking mess whenever a romantic situation arises. She often tries to invoke Liquid Courage to give herself a boost, but it only works for a brief time. | |
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Lyrah in Shadow of the Conqueror. Even mentioning sex or nudity causes her anxiety, and actually dealing with it can send her into a panic attack. This becomes a problem when she's sent on a mission with Cueseg, a Tuerasian Walking Shirtless Scene with No Nudity Taboo. | |
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Berserk: Because of being abused as a child, Guts Hates Being Touched by anyone except Casca, and to an extent Griffith as well. After being celibate for a long time he eventually develops Single-Target Sexuality for Casca, but he has a panic attack during Their First Time as a result of his pent-up trauma. The good news is that they work through it together, and after that, he even expresses interest in doing it with her 1000 times more. The bad news is that the Eclipse and Casca's mental condition afterwards create a different problem: He strongly desires to have sex with her again even though he knows she isn't able to give consent, and a Near-Rape Experience with her caused by his Enemy Within makes him fearful that his urges will lead to him abusing her. From then on he tries not to ever see her unclothed and leaves most of her personal care to Farnese. | |
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Moritz in Spring Awakening. Despite showing a definite interest in it, he is terrified of actually being in a sexual situation, so much so that he struggles to talk about it at all, even with his closest friend. He commits suicide before this is further explored, so the reason behind his anxiety about sex is not directly explained. | |
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Pinkie Brown in Brighton Rock is repulsed by sex as a result of repeatedly witnessing the Primal Scene (it doesn't help that he lives in a milieu packed to the gills with sexuality of the grubbiest, seediest kind). He's capable of feeling sexual arousal, and even of consummating his marriage, but the only passion he's actually comfortable with is a kind of desexualized sadism. | |
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General Hospital's Karen chalked this up to typical virginal nervousness until she remembered being molested by a boyfriend of her mother's. | |
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Rebuild World: The character of Akira shows clear moments of sexual attraction to the women around him, but pretty much banishes all thought of acting on them, seeming at other times asexual or oblivious. He gives excuses like that he's "of the age where I'm more interested in food than girls". That particular claim is debunked by Carol after she spends some time living with him. While it's not explicitly answered, given how Akira reacts early in the story to both Sheryl's smile and watching her Honey Trap hunters with a great amount of fear (despite her being obviously physically weak), the best hint is that his disinterest is motivated by trauma. It's been established that Akira's life before the story was characterized by being used and betrayed by everyone he ever met. This is explained as a side effect of him being an Old World connector being unconsciously broadcasting his impressions into people, which made this happen and caused the deaths of most Differently Powered Individuals in the slums. | |
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Zsadist from the Black Dagger Brotherhood series has this until Lover Awakened, due to nearly every sexual experience he'd had up to that point being non-consensual on his part. Much of his development is focused on him getting over his many issues regarding this. | |
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I'm the Evil Lord of an Intergalactic Empire!: Due to his wife cheating on him and destroying his past life, Liam is unwilling to consider sex with anyone but his Robot Maid Amagi. The fact that there is an undetectable STD out there that makes men's penises explode doesn’t help his eagerness. | |
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Liz Lemon in 30 Rock generally always had a disinterest in sex, though after a few seasons it was Flanderized into this trope. The episode "Reaganing" revealed that when Liz was young, she was riding her rollerskates around the house when she needed to use the restroom. She tried to use the restroom with her skates still on but lost her balance and her mother found her on the floor with her underwear down covered in a Tom Jones poster. Assuming the worst, her mother tore down all the posters of the men she liked in her room, leading Liz to proclaim that "Sex makes the people go away!" | |
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Johnny the Homicidal Maniac: Johnny's outright disgust with human sexuality and aversion to being touched implies that he may very well have a sexuality but deeply represses it. Given that his arousal is one of the internal forces he lists as wanting to free himself from in his search for autonomy in Book 7 (along with hunger and tiredness), that's probably it. | |
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In the Death Note Crack Fic A Charmed Life Light finds the very idea of sex to be disgusting and terrifying until Ryuk helps him through it. | |
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Glee: Emma is afraid of getting into a relationship due to cleanliness OCD and Hates Being Touched. A less extreme example would be Kurt in the second season. As of Sexy, the thought of sex makes him incredibly uncomfortable, preferring to focus purely on romance. Played with in that he didn't appear to have much of a problem with it during season one—but then, after "Never Been Kissed"... It is also important to note that at his age, it is perfectly normal not to feel like you are ready for sex. Everyone develops at a different pace. (As of "The First Time" he's gotten over it.) |
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Monk, due to his severe OCD. Also, he still regards himself as "married", although his wife was killed ten years before. | |
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Billups in Star Trek: Lower Decks has remained a virgin his entire life because under the laws of his homeworld, which he's the crown prince of, if he ever has sex, he'll instantly become king and have to leave Starfleet. When his mother the queen seemingly dies and he needs to take the throne for the good of his people, he's unable to perform the "royal duty" with his incredibly attractive male and female Bodyguard Babes and seems genuinely terrified throughout. When he learns that his mom faked her death and he doesn't have to go through with it, he's overcome with joy and relief, even throwing a celebration party. | |
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On Daria, one of the last episodes revolves around Daria wondering if she should have sex with Tom; she ultimately can't go through with it, finding the thought of so much physical contact to be too overwhelming. Tom, for the record, is fine with this; Daria was the one who worried that not having sex made their relationship deficient. Interestingly, it's strongly Implied that Quinn has this too. She dates every attractive or popular boy possible but is never seen physically affectionate with them, and in one episode claims she won't slow-dance until the fifth date. She was also extremely freaked out when she thought that Daria and Tom actually had slept together. |
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The teenage girl in Female Perversions is portrayed as a quite natural counter-reaction to her desperately oversexualized aunt's creepiness. | |
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The protagonist of I Love Yuri and I got Bodyswapped with a Fujoshi! is a Yuri Fanboy who loves the idea of intimacy between girls but is disgusted at the idea of a male being even present. Then one day he switches bodies with a Yaoi Fangirl; what might seem like heaven is made into torment by how he still thinks of himself as a boy who defiles girls by just seeing them. Making it worse is that he expects the girl to be equally horrified in his body, but instead she enthusiastically gathers "reference material" and invites him to make use of her body. | |
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Psycho Mantis in Metal Gear Solid, who wears bondage gear and has a disgusted fascination with sexuality, but finds the thought of sex traumatic due to having mind-read the sexual fantasies of everyone he's come into contact with. He also hates the idea that all humans are programmed with the atavistic desire to pass on their genes. | |
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In Chobits, Hideki is tormented by his fear of being a pervert and living with an Innocent Fanservice Girl who will suffer a personality death if he actually were to act on any sort of desire towards her. This is probably the most justified example here. | |
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Hannelore in Questionable Content is terrified of any physical contact with others, but particularly sexual contact, due to her severe OCD and germophobia. She definitely shows interest in the subject, though. | |
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Dougal in Father Ted is visibly uncomfortable around women except for Mrs. Doyle or older nuns, and shows genuine fear when he believes a strange woman may have entered the house. It's implied that a fear of women was his primary motivation for entering the priesthood, as he's shown to be uninterested in the tenets of Catholicism, and effectively an atheist in his personal beliefs. | |
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Carrie: The title character's mother Margaret White turns out to have a pathological fear of sex, coming from equal parts religious fanaticism and the fact that her husband raped her, resulting in Carrie's birth (the fact that she ended up enjoying the act just messes her up even worse, if that's possible). This resulted in some seriously repressive parenting to Evil Matriarch levels, to the point where she didn't even tell Carrie about her body's natural processes as she got older, resulting in Carrie's first period in her senior year being traumatic in more ways than one. | |
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Played both for comedy and drama with Sanjouno Haruhime in Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon?. She was disowned by her family and ended up being sold as a prostitute, but her timid and gentle nature gets her extremely nervous every time she gets a customer. So nervous in fact that she always faints in shock before the guy even touches her, and she's not aware that she's still a virgin. | |
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El Goonish Shive: Susan's greatest fear is that she might become a slutty homewrecker like the one her dad had an affair with. So while she finds others sexually attractive, she is repulsed at the idea of anyone having sex with her specifically out of fear that she might endanger someone else's relationship, to the point of asexuality. | |
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Outlander: When Roger and Brianna reunite, Roger is eager to rekindle their relationship, including sex, but Brianna always seems to shy away. Claire reassures Roger that Brianna is not rejecting him, but is probably a little afraid of sex itself. After all, the entirety of her sexual experience is losing her virginity (painful), being raped two days later (painful and humiliating), and then giving birth nine months after that (painful and frightening). She has little context of sex as being positive or pleasurable. | |
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In The Forbidden Tower from the Darkover series, Callista has been so brainwashed into virginity that she freaks out if her husband so much as touches her. When a Keeper freaks out, people get hurt. | |
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In Baccano!, Firo was once kidnapped by a pervert who mistook him for a young girl and nearly sexually assaulted him. The experience has left him with a very bad attitude towards men who make unsolicited advances on women and has made him scared of displaying any sort of sexual intimacy (even something as innocent as hand-holding) for fear that it might be unwanted and troubling to the other party. It does, perhaps, help explain why he engaged in innocent cohabitation with the same woman for fifty years before she figured out human emotions enough to fall in love with him, then stayed in a Sexless Marriage for another twenty and counting. | |
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A similar arc presents itself in Dumbing of Age, where she's quite happy about being in a relationship with Ethan—she's afraid of her lusts, and he has no interest in pushing her for sex. | |
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Lone Huntress: Between Lisa's body issues, her social awkwardness, and the lingering trauma at the hands of the Fallen Angels, Lisa has this in spades. Eventually she finds someone to help her work through it. then it turns out to be a plot by the Ancient Evil to get rid of her. | |
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In the Walkyverse: Joyce in It's Walky! starts out like this. She eventually relaxes somewhat, and after getting engaged and losing her virginity, realizes how silly her fear was. She thereafter has an emotionally healthy and (very!) active sex life with her fiancé, much to the delight of her mother. A similar arc presents itself in Dumbing of Age, where she's quite happy about being in a relationship with Ethan—she's afraid of her lusts, and he has no interest in pushing her for sex. |
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Veronica Mars: Mac describes herself as "frozen from the waist down" since a traumatic episode. She and her boyfriend had planned a special night to lose their virginity together. Just before the event, she takes a shower while he waits in bed for her. When she comes out of the shower, he is gone. It turns out that he is a serial killer and rapist, and he left to kill Veronica because she had figured out he was the culprit. He takes her clothes, too, so she can't follow him, resulting in Veronica finding Mac crying and wrapped in a bedsheet. Mac's boyfriend Beaver wouldn't do anything more than hold hands anyway, because of his molestation as a child. However, she subsequently seems to get over this fairly easily, with little on-screen explanation. |
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Ashmedia, the Overlord of Lust in Trillion: God of Destruction is this, panicking when she's caught by surprise in a sexual situation and immediately saying that she's not comfortable with it and informing Zeabolos, who pulled the prank, that she's actually a virgin. While it's not stated outright, it's very clear that she has Histrionic Personality Disorder, as stated below. | |
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Ruby of Sticky Dilly Buns works through this problem. She has problems with sexuality and is initially prone to paralysis. However, after she's been exposed to a few sexual scenes, it becomes very clear that she finds guy on guy very hot, and she moves from total paralysis to deep denial, while finding more excuses to look. Eventually, when she believes that her boyfriend is proposing sex, she decides to go for it -- nervously, but not unwillingly. Ironically, he wasn't proposing sex, and him ignoring her subsequent behavior over the next few days has her erroneously believe that he is this trope until they find themselves in a situation where he begrudgingly admits that it's her pressuring him into the act that's the actual issue. | |
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Between the horror stories she's been told for years about her older sister and the fact that the gang-rape really happened to her, My Sweet Audrina has this big time. | |
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Laura Dickens from The Sandbaggers — according to the staff psychiatrist, it results from a combination of a prudish upbringing with a completely disastrous marriage that only lasted a week. She's in the process of working through it so she and Neal can build a relationship when she's killed in the season 1 finale. | |
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Chronicles of the Kencyrath: It's subtle, but Torisen is a little afraid of his own attraction to Jame. Completely Justified by his past relationship with Kallystine. Kallystine was trying her hardest to seduce Torisen for political reasons. Torisen knew this perfectly well, and he hated and resented her... but it seems she did manage to seduce him for short periods of time despite this. It's implied she managed this by using Love Potions. Kallystine was the only past relationship Torisen's had, and so in his only real experience with his own attraction, it was the result of being drugged and manipulated by someone he hated. As a result, even when he experiences organic attraction to Jame, it partially makes him fear her more. | |
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Cyrano de Bergerac: At Act I Scene V, Cyrano confesses to Le Bret that the only thing he fears in the world is that Roxane will laugh at him when he confesses his love for her. In Act V Scene VI, Cyrano confesses that he feared being mocked by women, implying that he is a Celibate Hero. This trope is justified because in his childhood, given his enormous nose, Cyrano felt that his mom did not love him. The whole idea of being capable of being loved is strange to him. | |
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Joyce in It's Walky! starts out like this. She eventually relaxes somewhat, and after getting engaged and losing her virginity, realizes how silly her fear was. She thereafter has an emotionally healthy and (very!) active sex life with her fiancé, much to the delight of her mother. | |
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Sword at Sunset: King Arthur is so traumatised by the traditional Surprise Incest with his sister that he develops some non-specified sexual dysfunction, whose scope he doesn't realize until his deeply awkward wedding night. | |
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Full Metal Panic!: While Sousuke is Oblivious to Love, he's not entirely oblivious to sex once you strip the euphemisms away and penetrate his Selective Obliviousness. He is, however, absolutely terrified of it and sometimes suffers outright panic attacks (in stark contrast to his usual stoicism) when placed in sexual situations he can't tune out or willfully misinterpret. The light novels imply this is because all of his prior sexual experience consists of almost getting assaulted several times, so he has nothing but bad associations with it. | |
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In the Mob Psycho 100 fanfic Baby Steps to the Finish Line Teru wants to take things to a more intimate level in their relationship but Mob is afraid to do more than kiss. It's very slow going but they work through it together. | |
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