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Rugby Is Slaughter
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Rugby is one of several games that Americans, for the most part, do not get. (It's OK, people who get rugby often do not get American football.) While the two games look broadly similar there are three facts about rugby that tend to stand out: You get minimal padding. You have to stay on the pitch for the entire match. You get far fewer breaks in play. Well, time-wise. Bones are another matter entirely. For this reason, much media depicts rugby as an agonizing slaughterhouse that will put you in Ward 4. This depiction is not confined to American media either. Nations where rugby is played a lot tend to compare it to other football codes and often come to the same impressions. Furthermore, the global rugby community seems to revel in their sport's reputation, taking perverse joy in the fact that the very mention of its name is enough to make football (association and American) fans squirm. For more details, see the analysis subpage. Compare Blood Sport. See also Unnecessary Roughness, with which this trope sometimes overlaps. For information on the game, see Rugby League or Rugby Union. Yes, there are two different versions. Rugby Union is more widely played, while Rugby League is more popular in a few regions such as Northern England, New South Wales, Queensland, and Papua New Guinea. Non-Australians also sometimes confuse rugby with Australian Rules Football, which has a similar reputation and all the more so because the players wear only singlets (called guernseys in that sport), and many believe that rugby was a major influence in the creation of Aussie Rules football. Believe it or not, James Naismith actually adapted some elements of rugby when he created basketball. In the US and Canada, ice hockey has a similar reputation as the most violent of the four major sports played in those countries, though the NHL has tried to crack down on the violence and tone down this part of the sport's image. Examples |
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Get Fuzzy: Rob Wilco has been seen wearing the above-quoted T-shirt. The portrayal of the sport is a bit understated compared to the rest of these entries, but it's still fairly violent. | |
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In Stiff Upper Lip, Jeeves, Major Plank says he tried to teach the natives of West Africa to play rugby, but there were "too many deaths." | |
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Bleak Expectations has the amazingly violent Bastardball, played by the students of St. Bastards. It's rugby, but with absolutely no concern for anyone's safety or continued existence. The rules are simple; two teams with no set number of players, divided into five groups (hitters, kickers, punchers, pitchforkers, and shooters) whose goal is to get the ball (i.e. the youngest person around) to the other side of the field and shove their head in a bucket of dung, which counts as one Bastard (or point). | |
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Plants vs Zombies: Garden Warfare: The All-Star is already a hulking brute clad in american football armor and wielding an assorted-sports-themed-junk-firing Chainsaw-Grip BFG, and his Rugby themed variation cranks it up with shots that explode. | |
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Lampshaded in an early episode of Grange Hill, when the Deadpan Snarker teacher Mr Baxter gives the first years a lesson in rugby, causing Justin Bennett to have nose bleed. Alan Humphries excels in this lesson, and brings Mr Baxter to the ground, who smiles and says "that's more or less the idea". | |
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Discworld: William de Worde attended a private school for Old Money, where he enjoyed great success in gesticulating wildly and expending great amounts of energy without actually approaching the ball. Bar brawls have existed for so long in Ankh-Morpork they've become a kind of combination of rugby and gymnastics (complete with a scoring system). Unseen Academicals, where the form of football that exists is known for violence, and the wizards are tasked with reforming it. |
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Thunderbolts: Warren Ellis's word on rugby: | |
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In the Schlock Mercenary universe, where all sports from Deathball to Ballet are unified in the same league with the teams choosing which to play, Rugby is not on the list because it is too dangerous. And this is in a universe where they allowed to put high explosives in a football and deliberately aim for an interception. |
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Full Metal Panic? Fumoffu has the hilarious Rugby episode — which is something of a subversion due to the clear indication that it was excessive violence, which got Sousuke immediately kicked out. SÅ�suke gives Training from Hell to a sissy team of rugby players. The ending result is... highly amusing. | |
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In Space Adventure Cobra that Blood Sport named rugball is supposed to be based on baseball and rugby. It is apparently baseball plus violence, with nothing else in common with rugby. | |
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Unseen Academicals, where the form of football that exists is known for violence, and the wizards are tasked with reforming it. | |
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A What If? entry about New Horizons uses the example of a bullet travelling across an American football field to give an idea of how fast the spacecraft is moving. The Alt Text for the illustration of this claims it's a legal play in rugby. | |
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The extremely non-sporty Adrian Mole dreads games, especially rugby. When he believes he might have picked up too many female hormones, his doctor prescribes getting his head kicked about in a rugby scrum. | |
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Blood Bowl is set in an alternate universe Warhammer, where a rugby/American football-esque sport has become Serious Business and everyone wants to play that instead of the usual Warhammer thing. Inflicting injuries on the other team is encouraged in the official rules, chainsaws and flame pits are features built into the average pitch, and players dying in the middle of games is a startlingly frequent occurrence. In an example of Gameplay and Story Integration, there are several playable teams who aren't particularly good at running with, throwing, catching, or even picking up the ball (which is a big problem because dropping it ends your turn), and are instead encouraged to give themselves an advantage by hospitalising enough opposing players that there aren't enough of them to get in the way of a touchdown attempt. The rulebook itself points out that any world where this sport is popular must suck HARD. | |
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In Maison Ikkoku, Godai plays rugby with his old high school team — and he ends up with two black eyes. | |
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Invictus: Averted; the worst any player gets is a hamstring injury, and it heals up in time for the World Cup. | |
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Gaston Lagaffe: Lagaffe briefly gives rugby a try but gives up after getting repeatedly and violently tackled. | |
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Journey to Chaos: One of Eric's clients is an orc who thinks humans are fragile things and he supposes that the humans of Eric's homeworld must be even more so. Eric argues against this by saying they have many brutal, full contact, sports. The only one he mentions is Rugby. | |
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Mr. Barken plays Rugby in Kim Possible. In one episode he gets glued to Ron and, well, Barken enjoys himself... | |
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A gag in Jeeves and Wooster novels. Tuppy Glossop finds this out to his cost in "The Ordeal of Young Tuppy" in the collection Very Good, Jeeves when he gets involved in a local village grudge-match. In Stiff Upper Lip, Jeeves, Major Plank says he tried to teach the natives of West Africa to play rugby, but there were "too many deaths." |
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Monty Python's The Meaning of Life has a scene with a pretty brutal game of rugby, and to emphasize the violence of it all, it leads into a scene in a war zone. As if it weren't bad enough, it's a game being played by students of a private school against their teachers, and the kids are being brutally roughed up. One of the professors watching the game even trips a student as he runs by so he can be tackled. | |
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Mentioned in Leverage episode The Jury No #6 Job, when the British Sophie walks by Nate, Eliot and Hardison settling in to watch a big game: Mashin Sentai Kiramager: The very first Jamenshi of the Week was Rugby Jamen. He used explosive rugby balls to wreak havoc on an amusement park. The negative energy obtained by him was used to summon the Rugger Ligany. It picked up a massive round gas tank which it decided to use like a rugby ball and quickly went on a rampage, causing several massive explosions on the city. |
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'Super Sentai'' An unusual case from Kousoku Sentai Turboranger — the secondary Transforming Mecha, the Ruggerfighter/Turborugger is themed after rugby for no discernable reason; it even has a giant rugby ball it can kick at a target. So it is slaughter, albeit of giant monsters rather than humans. |
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In The Hole, Mike, who is American, is shown throwing the rugby ball gridiron style. As he does so, he is viciously tackled by one of the opposing players. Mike then hauls off and punches the guy in the face, which starts a brawl between the two sides. It is later shown that Mike does know how to play rugby and was just mucking about when he decided to throw the ball. | |
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An unusual case from Kousoku Sentai Turboranger — the secondary Transforming Mecha, the Ruggerfighter/Turborugger is themed after rugby for no discernable reason; it even has a giant rugby ball it can kick at a target. So it is slaughter, albeit of giant monsters rather than humans. | |
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Parodied with Asterix in Britain and its animated film adaptation: a rugby game is made more "interesting" when it turns out that the players' drink has been spiked with magic potion. It was already pretty violent without the potion, what with one player jumping up and down repeatedly on another player's head even after the ball slides away. Obelix enthusiastically comments "We must take this nice game back to Gaul!" Note that the players emerging is the only time in the entire story that the extremely Briton Anticlimax gets worked up about something. In fact, the look on the heroes' faces when an entire stadium of (up to this point) extremely stiff upper-lipped Britons suddenly goes wild is priceless. And when Obelix reluctantly throws away the ball to dissuade pursuing parties and resume the game, it lands into the decurion's hands. Players from both teams predictably throw themselves on the poor sap just for having the ball. |
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Flashman: Though he went to Rugby, the school where the sport was codified, Harry Flashman stayed well away from the game due to this trope. He did feature in the game in Tom Brown's Schooldays, but he and his chum Speedicut both took great care to look as though they were playing really enthusiastically while avoiding any risk of getting hurt. | |
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In Safehold, the main character is from a future culture, blending in with a Future Imperfect Feudal Future. They know that he's a bit better than human, so the prince wants him to play rugby on his team, but "Merlin" admits he's never played their version of the game (which is a water sport). Turns out it involves holding people underwater until they give up the ball. | |
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Mashin Sentai Kiramager: The very first Jamenshi of the Week was Rugby Jamen. He used explosive rugby balls to wreak havoc on an amusement park. The negative energy obtained by him was used to summon the Rugger Ligany. It picked up a massive round gas tank which it decided to use like a rugby ball and quickly went on a rampage, causing several massive explosions on the city. | |
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An episode of ER had a haggard-looking English patient being treated, and when asked if he has hit his head or blacked out, he cheerily answers, "Of course I hit my head, it's rugby." | |
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In Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Giles comments about gridiron as it compares to rugby, summing up the traditional British view: | |
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In Ciaphas Cain (HERO OF THE IMPERIUM!) we're not sure about rugby, but scrumball apparently is. The Sisters of Battle acolytes weren't that good at it, since they preferred to take down players as opposed to scoring points, while unpopular students were regularly tackled regardless of whether they had the ball or not. | |
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Footrot Flats: The Dog's Tale: During the rugby game, Wal throws an uppercut in the scrum... and punches himself. To add insult to injury, the referee tells him that next time he punches himself, he'll be sent off. | |
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The satiric TV show Les Guignols de l'Info depicts rugby players as senseless brutes whose training consists in bashing down brick walls and drinking fresh blood. A particular example comes to mind: a French team had to fight-play against the "All-Black" known for being quite good. The strategy include Military support and they don't expect every player to survive. In another episode, former French coach Bernard Laporte said "The first rugby game was a wedding in Brive (that's a French city), the ball only came 30 years later." | |
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The opening scene of The Four Feathers has the junior officers from two British regiments playing rugby. In the rain. And the mud. And the sweet young English girls in their white linen leg-of-mutton-sleeved dresses standing on the sidelines under their umbrellas obviously getting—in a very understated, ladylike way—quite worked up over the sight of all those big, strong, handsome, muscular men beating the stuffing out of one another. | |
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Rugby Is Slaughter / int_f4692bcd | |
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Rugby Is Slaughter | |
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Friends: In the episode "The One With All the Rugby", Ross plays rugby to impress Emily, and ends up in agony. Joey tries to explain the sport to him. |
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Rugby Is Slaughter | |
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YuYu Hakusho at one point features a set of demons with a sports theme, one of them called Rugby. It's teased whether he picked the name because of the human sport, or whether humans named the sport after him. At one point he says he likes the game because it's basically organized violence. | |
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Rugby Is Slaughter | |
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Harry Enfield and Chums: In the "Upper class drunks" sketch: | |
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