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Rule #1

 Rule #1
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He's in a dangerous or uncomfortable situation with other people who are less experienced or trustworthy than him, and he wants to make some things clear. So he bluntly declares a numbered list of "rules" for the situation. Beginning, of course, with Rule Number One, and following it with Rule Number Two, and so forth. The implication of setting out these rules, and providing a semblance of structure by numbering them, is that they are resolute and unquestionable, and that breaking these rules will lead to dire consequences.
Given the nature of storytelling, expect these rules to be bent or outright broken at some point before the story is done. Often quite ironically.
Another situation is conveying advice or admonishments, such as with the Mentor Archetype or Old Master. In this case, the rules could be "don't use the Dangerous Forbidden Technique" or "always believe in yourself." They are likely to include Rule Zero: "I'm always right."
One version of this trope became so popular that 90% of these will be Stock Shout-Outs to Fight Club — "Rule Number One of [X]: You do not talk about [X]" and/or "Rule Number One: [Y]. Rule Number Two: [Y]!"
There Are No Rules is an inversion, although that itself is sometimes called "Rule #1" nonetheless. This can then be subverted by having other rules follow which are actually restrictive.
The Thieves' Guild most often has each of its members adhere to certain numbered rules.
For the other Rule Number One, see Old Master.
Characters who live by The Rules are obviously on the Lawful side of Character Alignment, but there's nothing stopping them from being Lawful Good or Lawful Evil. In fact, expect the latter from the Obstructive Bureaucrat who can cite any Rule that justifies him/her not doing anything remotely reasonable or helpful.
See also Things You Are Not Allowed to Do.
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Fight Club:
"The first rule of Fight Club is - you do not talk about Fight Club."
"The second rule of Fight Club is - you do not talk about Fight Club." Just in case you were curious. Because he doesn't want the ending spoiled. That's right, he was talking to YOU LOT.
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Phil from Hercules has a whole list of rules for being a hero.
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In an issue of Alan Moore's Wild C.A.T.s (WildStorm) run, one of the MERCs says: "Rule number 1: Don't @#$%& us. There's no Rule number 2".
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Psych: In "Scary Sherry: Bianca's Toast", Gus has very specific rules for going in the abandoned mental institution.
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Harry taught Dexter a code to control his psychopathic tendencies. It had whole sections to make sure he only went after bad guys, but as he tells James Doakes toward the end of season 2 in response to the suggesting that he turn himself in, Rule Number One was always Don't Get Caught. According to Harry, that was the point of the whole endeavor, keeping Dexter alive; thus it's the first rule. Of course, no one wants anyone, even oneself, to know that he's turned his adopted son into a gory weapon of his own vigilantism. Not that it's cut-and-dried.
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The Simpsons: As Robert Evans told himself when working on Chinatown's sequel The Two Jakes, you must never forget Hollywood Rule Number One: kill Homer Simpson.
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Monsters, Inc.:
 Rule #1 / int_2cc4abd9
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In Wreck-It Ralph, the most important rule in Hero's Duty is "Never interfere with the first-person shooter!".
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Tumblr's Rule #1 is "Don't Post Anything From Tumblr on Facebook."
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Stand Still, Stay Silent:
Given in one of the info pages is "The First Rule for survival outside of the safe areas: If you come across a Beast, a Troll or a Giant, do not run or call for help but stand still and stay silent. It might go away."
We have yet to see an example of anyone following this rule in practice: Emil in particular usually does the exact opposite, probably with good cause. One can however imagine Lalli practicing the rule on his unseen solo excursions. However, at the beginning of Chapter 7, a cat does follow this rule to hide successfully from an infected dog. For a while.
Sigrun also mentions the number one ground rule here: "We stay together!". What's funny is that moments later she completely dismisses that rule, even forgetting saying that at all.
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In Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency, Richard is breaking into his girlfriend's apartment when he receives a mysterious phone call describing "the rules of breaking into an apartment". Rule number one is "never answer the phone". It continues in much the same vein, including the caller saying Richard would see him if he looked out the window and then, as Richard sees a distant flashbulb go off, explaining Rule four is "Never stand where you can be photographed", and:
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In Franklin's Big Adventure, a stage show based on the Franklin television show and books, Franklin is seriously weirded out by the seeming oddness of the museum-guide, Carbunkel, who presents herself as a "highly respected professional guide person" and among other things presents a list of rules for the museum visit with the help of a group of singers, in the middle of a song she's singing herself.
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From Mass Effect: Revelation:
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Spaced: Fight Club is parodied in "Robot Club":
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Precocious has so far subjected the kids to two numbered rules.
Rule #1: No dying!
Rule #4: No dynamite.
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Robocop The Series had an episode featuring Murphy's old partner, a cop with a set of rules amounting to "no vigilantism". When said cop was brainwashed, Robo brought him back by making him say his rules. A minute later, he was killed with a rocket launcher.
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Starship Troopers: "This is for all you new people: I only have one rule. Everyone fights. No one quits. You don't do your job, I'll shoot you myself. You get me?"
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Wolf from Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts keeps a list of Rules on the Surface that comes up regularly as a running gag. Or she's just making them up as she goes... Briefly discussed when Kipo wonders if the rules are actually numbered in that order.
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In The Andy Griffith Show episode "The Big House", Barney Fife lays down the law for two new inmates at the jail:
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Dream Park: Al the Barbarian, leader of one of the competing teams in The California Voodoo Game, has a Rule Number One for live-action adventure gaming:
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Star Wars: Republic Commando: There are quite a few the Commandos quote on occasion.
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Twins (1988): The rules of a crisis situation.
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The Order of the Stick: here. Nobody leaves the Thieves Guild of Greysky City, except in a casket. Vampires can't even leave in one of those.
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James Bond
You Only Live Twice has Tiger Tanaka, the head of the Japanese secret service, introducing Bond to his harem of Japanese beauties who proceed to bathe him while Bond is relaxing in an onsen.
Live and Let Die. Bond seduces the virginal Solitaire for information (citing Lesson No. 1: no secrets between lovers) only to find out she doesn't know much about what the Big Bad is up to on his Island Base. So Bond is determined to go look for himself and makes it clear that she's coming with him. "Togetherness is Lesson Number 2." Solitaire asks coyly if there's time for Lesson Number 3 before they go.
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In Red Dwarf, Kryten would often quote the Space Corps Directives, with a number each time. Rimmer would try to do the same, but get the numbers wrong; for example, quoting Directive 34124, which Kryten informed him was "No officer with false teeth should attempt oral sex in zero gravity."
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In the series Science and Futurism with Issac Arthur, a running gag whenever Isaac discusses military applications of future technologies is *every* rule is the First Rule of Warfare.
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Porridge: According to Mr. Mackay, there are only two rules in Slade Prison. Rule number 1: Do not write on the walls. And rule number 2: Obey all the rules. What's strange is that in the same scene he brings up a rule against more than three prisoners congregating in a cell.
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Conker's Bad Fur Day: In the 'Heist' multiplayer:
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Mark of the Ninja: Right at the start of the game:
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Parodied in Archer, when Archer is teaching Cyril how to be an agent - every rule is "Rule Number One".
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Mass Effect 2: While on Omega:
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In Terry Pratchett's novel Thief of Time, the elderly martial arts master Lu-Tze often reminds people about Rule One. Unfortunately for them, not everyone gets the message. Rule One is: "Never act incautiously when confronted by a little bald wrinkly smiling man!" Then there's Rule Nineteen, which is "Never forget Rule One, and ask yourself why it was invented in the first place." As you can probably guess, Lu-Tze is the reason Rule One exists, and you should never let his silly tricks or his habit of feigning helplessness make you forget Rule One.
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In a Batman: Black and White story, titled Rule Number One, an unnamed young man training under Batman, likely one of the Robins, thinks about how many rules Batman has, but he can't remember if rule number one is no guns, or no killing. And when his motorcycle is stolen, Batman tells him about another rule number one: Never leave the keys in the ignition. He concludes that there are a lot of rule number ones in the vigilante business.
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The Karate Kid Part II:
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Star Trek:
The Ferengi are immensely fond of quoting Rules of Acquisition.
Played with: the first Rule of Acquisition was presented as #162 - to create a demand for #1 through #161, and according to Quark's vision, they're only rules because the "Guidelines of Acquisition" doesn't have the same selling power. A complete list of the rules (canon and non-canon) can be found here.
Ensign Robin Lefler, who appeared in one episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation, "The Game", had "Lefler's Laws", a list of rules she made up for herself. She still uses them when she becomes a main character in Star Trek: New Frontier.
The Prime Directive is the Federation's Rule Number One.
Played for Laughs in Star Trek: Enterprise when our heroes are headed to Risa for shore leave and Trip wears a Hawaiian shirt that nearly makes T'Pol's ears bleed:
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The Acts of Caine: Matthew Stover's Caine has three rules. They really boil down to "I'm the boss and can kill you to maintain this authority", and serve more to operate as a coercive threat than as a code of behaviour. If he ever asks you "What's Rule Two?", then you are in deep shit.
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Knights of the Dinner Table: B.A. is fond of quoting the first rule of HackMaster, which is "The GM is always right!".
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Zeetha of Girl Genius considers the first order of business for any princess to be acquiring an imposing battle axe.
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The Transporter:
The eponymous "transporter" Frank Martin has three rules: 1) don't alter the deal after it's been made. 2) No names. 3) Never open the package he's been asked to transport. All his troubles start when he breaks the third rule and finds the "package" is a Bound and Gagged young Asian woman. As a result, he ends up breaking the first two rules as well.
In the sequel Frank has a Rule #4 which is "Never make a promise you can't keep." He promises to protect his young charge; when the boy is kidnapped, the Big Bad informs Frank he's going to have to break that rule. Fat chance.
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During Journey to Chaos, Nolien remembers that the 1st rule of healers is "do no harm", right after his status buff drives his teammate to monsanity to defeat a swarm of monsters.
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The Death Note has a lot of rules, but the one that's best-known is the first: "I. The human whose name is written in this note shall die."
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Schlock Mercenary:
The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries. Rule one: Pillage, then burn. (It's important enough that Schlock makes a point of stating- once- "If they burn all of the best stuff, I'm going to be very unhappy.")
The first rule of AI kill switches is "don't talk about the kill switch"
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In Injustice 2, courtesy of Black Manta:
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In one of the most well-known M*A*S*H episodes ("Sometimes You Hear the Bullet" - the show's first Wham Episode and its Growing the Beard moment), Henry Blake tells Hawkeye:
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NCIS: Gibbs' various rules, cited by the characters throughout the show. A flashback revealed them to have been inspired by his future wife on the day they met. Kate and Ziva both requested that Gibbs write the rules down, only to be told that most of the rules are for day-to-day tasks. Rules in the forties are reserved for emergencies.
TWO rules are apparently number one (and two rule number threes), likely due to an oversight on the part of the writers, although later confirmed to have been intentional. This was lampshaded when the female version of Gibbs from CGIS told McGee HER rule number one and suggested he write it down. McGee replies that rule number one has been taken, twice. The other one was inherited from Mike Franks, Gibbs' boss when he first became an NCIS Agent. Mike Franks told Gibbs that he didn't need a list of rules; he only needed "Three Golden Rules". It has not been revealed which of the rules are Gibbs' and which are Franks, nor has the second Rule Number 2.
In one episode, other main characters remember Gibbs's rules through flashbacks, note that some of the numbers get taken more than once, or that two different number rules say the same thing, and start wondering if Gibbs just makes them up on the fly.
Two episodes have shown Gibbs updating his rules:
"Rule 51" is about the titular rule "Sometimes, you're wrong."
"Rule 91", Mark Harmon's final episode as Gibbs, is also about the titular rule, which is an addendum to Rule 11 "When the job is done, walk away" which admitted to having following - "When you decide to walk away, don't look back".
Abby Sciuto has her own Rule 1: Don't lie to Abby.
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During the Game Grumps episode of Dennis the Menace, Mr. Wilson explains the rules of Buttball to Dennis ("Seeing as you're already in my basement...")
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Progress Wrestling has as stated by co-owner Jim Smallman and the fans in attendance at the start of every show - 'Don't be a dick!' Also, if it's your first Progress show 'It's your round.'
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Batman: The Animated Series. In "Sins of the Father", Batman has taken on a new member of the Bat-Family: Tim Drake.
 Rule #1 / int_90b916ba
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Rule #1 / int_90b916ba
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Star Wars Resistance: In "Bibo", the trouble caused by the title character causes Yeager to institute a new rule for his employees:
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Rule #1 / int_915ce702
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In Alice in Wonderland, the King of Hearts reads out Rule Forty-two: "All persons more than a mile high to leave the court."
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Rule #1 / int_93e8b35e
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Inverted in Babylon A.D. where it's Sister Rebeka who gives the rules to badass mercenary Toorop before the Live-Action Escort Mission, the last of which is "No foul language." Toorop gives a not-quite amused smile and immediately breaks the rule.
When their relationship loosens up a bit, Toorop admits that Rule Number One for a mercenary is learning how to cook.
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Thunder in Paradise: Spence & Bru continuously quote different "rule[s] #2" at each other, but never get around to mentioning Rule #1.
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When a drunk Carl gets into a bar fight in Yes-Man. "First we need to set a few ground rules. The first ground run is... There are no ground rules!" [Throws a surprise punch hitting a bystander instead of the guy he's in the fight with.]
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Garrett, P.I. gives us Morley Dotes's Rule #1: "Never get involved with a woman crazier than yourself."
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Rule #1 / int_a806ea97
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The Fairly OddParents!: In "Kung Timmy", when Timmy faces Francis in a kung-fu fight and rides a tetherball to deliver the final blow, he uses this for a Pre Ass Kicking One Liner.
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The Producers: There are two cardinal rules to being a Broadway Producer...
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Rule #1 / int_a8ae62a
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Scream (1996): Randy Meeks's rules to surviving a scary movie, with Rule Number One being, "you can never have sex".
 Rule #1 / int_aa7d9eae
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 Scream (1996)
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Rule #1 / int_aa7d9eae
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The Gumball Rally:
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Zombieland has Columbus' list of 32 rules for surviving the Zombie Apocalypse.
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Rule #1
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FoxTrot has this◊ strip spoofing the Fight Club meme by having rule #1 as "Do not talk about Font Club" and rule #2 as "Do not use Comic Sans".
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TV Tropes Wiki has Three Rules of Three.
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You Only Live Twice has Tiger Tanaka, the head of the Japanese secret service, introducing Bond to his harem of Japanese beauties who proceed to bathe him while Bond is relaxing in an onsen.
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Rule #1 / int_b5ab36eb
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In The IT Crowd, "the first rule of Street Countdown... is that you really must try and tell as many people as possible about it. It's a rather fun game and the more people you tell about it the better."
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TRU-Life Adventures: Don't tell Jack anything. Revealed when Jack found out it exists.
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Live and Let Die. Bond seduces the virginal Solitaire for information (citing Lesson No. 1: no secrets between lovers) only to find out she doesn't know much about what the Big Bad is up to on his Island Base. So Bond is determined to go look for himself and makes it clear that she's coming with him. "Togetherness is Lesson Number 2." Solitaire asks coyly if there's time for Lesson Number 3 before they go.
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Fluke: Rumbo (Samuel L. Jackson) delivers a variety of Rule Number Ones throughout the movie as a catch phrase.
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Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs: "Rule number one: Always listen to Buck!"
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Little Lunch: In "The Joke Competition", Atticus announces that the first rule of the joke competition is that everyone must tell a joke. This is also the second and third rules.
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Doctor Who:
"Dragonfire": The Doctor welcomes a new companion:
In the Doctor Who New Adventures novel Set Piece Ace, seemingly left with no choice but to kill the Doctor to save the universe, flashes back to this conversation (and occasions when the Doctor had to make similar decisions) and decides that the third rule — her rule — is "No-one deserves to be sacrificed".
In the new series, the following is said to companions, not that they ever listen:
In "Human Nature", the Doctor leaves a set of 23 numbered rules for Martha to follow while he's transformed into a human and unaware of his true identity. In actuality, there were only about five instructions in the script (as Martha fast-forwards through most of them), and David Tennant hilariously ad-libbed dialogue for the skipped parts.
In the original Human Nature novel, the list the Doctor gave Benny only has nine rules on it. The five Tennant actually gives are there, including the one about pears.
River Song's personal Rule One is "The Doctor lies." It turns out she was given that rule by the Doctor, along with Rule 7: "Never run when you're scared," Rule 27: "Never knowingly be serious," and Rule 408: "You should always waste time when you don't have any. Time is not the boss of you."
The Doctor's friend Iris Wildthyme has "Wildthyme's Law Rule Number One", which changes every time to something pertinent to the current situation. Among other things, this rule has been "Grab the nearest bottle and hope for the best" and "A girl never knows when she may need to get the party started."
In "Spyfall", the Doctor tells her companions that the first rule of espionage is "Trust no-one." Given that the Doctor is a natural rulebreaker, it's not surprising she forgets the rule and gets in trouble. The trope is amusingly lampshaded later on.
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In the film Goodfellas, Henry learns the two most important things in life:
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The Great Greene Heist: Jackson has a set of rules for his High-School Hustler antics. Rule #1 is "No matter how simple a job looks, always plan before you act. A poorly constructed plan usually yields undesirable results." It's a rule Jackson is good at sticking to.
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Monty Python's Flying Circus reads out the faculty rules of the Philosophy Department of the University of Woolamaloo:
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The Miramax cut of The Thief and the Cobbler, when the thief is on a tightrope.
He can't remember rule number three.
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Sharpe: Richard Sharpe has three rules for the men who serve under him: 1) Don't get drunk without permission. 2) Don't steal unless it is from the enemy or you are starving. 3) When it is time to fight, fight like bastards.
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In Knights of Buena Vista, the first rule for encounters is to never take their eyes off the map. Thus they have to improvise fast when their player characters are fleeing wolves and then realize almost too late that their sled is headed for a cliff.
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Aladdin's Genie.
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xkcd: The first rule of the tautology club is the first rule of the tautology club.
The first rule of talking to me about movies is do NOT talk about Fight Club.
The second rule of model train layouts: No nesting.
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No Need for Bushido has "Ken's rules to fight'n":
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Charlie's Rules for his Archons in Erfworld include:
...but there's also an all-purpose loophole:
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Dragons: Riders of Berk: In "Live and Let Fly", Hiccup establishes a secret 'Dragon Flight Club'. The first rule of Dragon Flight Club is "There is no Dragon Flight Club". This confuses the twins no end.
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Buffy the Vampire Slayer:
"The first rule of Slaying: Don't die!" Buffy breaks this one twice and is still around to be scolded by Giles.
In "Real Me" Buffy states the Rule Number One of living in Sunnydale is "Do not invite blood-sucking dead people into your home!" Buffy breaks that rule too.
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Gears of War has only one rule (or Golden Rule, if you wish): Take cover or die.
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On Family Guy, Peter recounts the story of his ancestor, Moses Griffin, who led the Hebrews out of Egypt. His Rule Number One: Shut the hell up.
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Emergency! In "The Promotion", Roy and Dixie discuss 'Rule Number One': Don't get emotionally involved with the patients. The ep showed how hard it can be to keep to this rule, given what first responders see in their work.
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The Doctor's friend Iris Wildthyme has "Wildthyme's Law Rule Number One", which changes every time to something pertinent to the current situation. Among other things, this rule has been "Grab the nearest bottle and hope for the best" and "A girl never knows when she may need to get the party started."
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The Slammer: According to Mr Burgess there are two rules to Dance Club. Rule number 1: You must dance! And rule number two: No fizzy drinks near the stage!
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Interview with the Vampire (2022):
Lestat de Lioncourt and Claudia's "Vampire Rules" promos contain a set of rules that fledgling vampires should abide by and facts that they should know.
Lestat's list:
Claudia's list:
"Like Angels Put in Hell by God": Louis de Pointe du Lac and Claudia impose several conditions that their vampire father Lestat must follow in order for him to be accepted back into their family. Viewers don't get to hear the first three requirements.
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In Adventures of the Galaxy Rangers, Doc has a list of reasons explaining why he is sorry he became a Galaxy Ranger. He only quotes when Goose is driving.
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In the Doctor Who New Adventures novel Set Piece Ace, seemingly left with no choice but to kill the Doctor to save the universe, flashes back to this conversation (and occasions when the Doctor had to make similar decisions) and decides that the third rule — her rule — is "No-one deserves to be sacrificed".
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First rule of Furry Fandom: You don't recover
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Ensign Robin Lefler, who appeared in one episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation, "The Game", had "Lefler's Laws", a list of rules she made up for herself. She still uses them when she becomes a main character in Star Trek: New Frontier.
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