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Safe, Sane, and Consensual
- 200 statements
- 37 feature instances
- 55 referencing feature instances
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It's okay for people to do pretty much anything to each other, as long as they are all into it, know what they are getting into, and the risk of permanent harm isn't unreasonably high. But how do we really know what's going on? How can we tell if it's a mutual game or if it's abuse? Sometimes, it can be hard to see the difference between the two when you're on the outside looking in. | |
| Safe, Sane, and Consensual | fetched |
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| Safe, Sane, and Consensual / int_14504d82 | type |
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| Safe, Sane, and Consensual / int_14504d82 | comment |
Collar6 started off (seemingly) as little more than a comic set in a world where BDSM relationships (especially lesbian ones) were publicly expressed and accepted. Some aspects were Played for Laughs, others just raw titillation, until the strip entered a particular storyline that crossed a variety of lines no couple should. After a combination of a firestorm of fan responses and his own rethinking of the situation, the author spent the majority of the next chunk of the story having the characters coming to terms with the facts that secrets like the ones Mistress Sixx had kept, and some of the "play" she involved Laura in without first getting consent, were absolutely wrong. Since then, anyone who intentionally continues to violate the norm of SSC guidelines are explicitly evil or at least deluded. Although it should be said that this is also a world where "dominant" and "submissive" spiritual-sexual energies are explicit MAGIC tends to make some of the definitions of "sane" get a bit wobbly. | |
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| Safe, Sane, and Consensual / int_1cb92d26 | type |
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| Safe, Sane, and Consensual / int_1cb92d26 | comment |
Discussed in the bondage club in Bound (2015), specifically to point out that Ryan doesn't follow the rules and is instead a cruel abuser who uses BDSM as an excuse. | |
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| Safe, Sane, and Consensual / int_29fafc2e | comment |
Indirect in City of Dreams: Much is done without formal consent, but dreamers can always wake up. Subverted in two different ways towards the end. | |
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| Safe, Sane, and Consensual / int_2cdff851 | type |
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| Safe, Sane, and Consensual / int_2cdff851 | comment |
In The Power of Seven, while Harry has subtly different sexual dynamics with each of the seven girls in his harem, his relationship with Demelza, in particular, depends on them both acknowledging the limits of their interaction, as Demelza has a definite interest in tales of experienced men protecting/seducing lower-class women. As he initially approaches her to test her interest, Harry starts by acting in the manner of a team captain giving her guidance, to the point that Demelza refers to him as 'Captain' during their initial encounters and eventually 'promotes' the term to 'Master' after they actually have sex as opposed to Harry basically fondling her. She has even been told she has a safe word, although she's never used it to date, expressing complete faith that Harry will protect and reward her. Harry also demonstrates another important facet of this trope: if he even thinks something's gone wrong, he asks Demelza to confirm she's okay, safe word or no. So far he's always misread it and Demelza is fine (or better than fine), but pausing and checking in to make sure is an important part of SSC. Thanks to Harry's genuinely caring nature, it's a part he understands intuitively. In a lesser variation, the girls also refuse to engage in kink-shaming; after Ginny expresses concern about her own humiliation/cuckold kink, where she gets off on watching Harry with other women talking about how much sexier they are than her, the other girls assure Ginny that her kinks may not be their kinks, but her kinks are okay. |
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| Safe, Sane, and Consensual / int_30ece126 | type |
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| Safe, Sane, and Consensual / int_30ece126 | comment |
Paladin of Shadows: With an exception in the very first book involving an underage hooker, Mike goes out of his way to discuss the technical details of BDSM as far as consent and safety go, including discussions about Safe Words and limits for the other participant(s). | |
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| Safe, Sane, and Consensual / int_350688f0 | comment |
Sunstone is in many ways an Author Tract on the subject of SSC BDSM relationships — covering both the way these relationships can be normal and healthy and the importance of being safe, sane, and consensual within them. | |
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| Safe, Sane, and Consensual / int_35e675e2 | comment |
Vikings: Count Odo is a Frankish noble residing in Paris at the court of Emperor Charles. Odo has a BDSM dungeon in the palace and when he introduces the place to Teresa, a Frankish noblewoman who wants to be his mistress, he places great emphasis on consent and some emphasis on safety. Teresa agrees to participate but doesn't seem to enjoy it the way Odo does. It's revealed later that she hates it and only agreed to it because she spies on the Count and she thinks he might confide more of his secrets to her as his mistress. | |
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| Safe, Sane, and Consensual / int_39b19313 | type |
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| Safe, Sane, and Consensual / int_39b19313 | comment |
In Jack of All Trades, the episode located on De Sade's island has much of the BDSM exaggerated for comedy, so it's easy to forget that all the guests (except the protagonists, who are there under false pretenses) came there by their own free will. (Sanity may be questioned since the Austrian guy's wife ends up taking "acting like a dog" a bit far when she savages him. Again, comedy.) | |
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| Safe, Sane, and Consensual / int_39fe00f1 | comment |
Dragon Age: Inquisition: If the Inquisitor pursues a relationship with The Iron Bull, the relationship takes on more than a few notes of BDSM, but all through this filter. Bull makes it clear from the start that the Inquisitor is in control, and he'll do nothing the Inquisitor doesn't want to be done — and if the Inquisitor says "no," then Bull just drops the arrangement with no grudges. If Cole is in the party, at some point, he may mention that, while Bull leads in the bedroom, the Inquisitor maintains the power in the proceedings. Also Bull is very explicit about what the point of this is: The Inquisitor is someone who never asked to be in a position of power and this is a way to de-stress. He has no interest in pushing it farther into a lifestyle (which can be very emotionally risky). Though Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex means there is some risk, particularly if your Inquisitor happens to be a female elf. | |
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| Safe, Sane, and Consensual / int_3b91d912 | comment |
Evangelion 303: In chapter 17, twenty-year-olds Shinji and Asuka explore their relationship's sexual dynamics further. Asuka wants to try bondage games. When Shinji asks if she is REALLY, ABSOLUTELY sure that she wants to get tied up and spanked by him, she retorts that she is and he better do so now. Later, when he says he is surprised at her being a sub, she explains THAT is the point of fantasy. During the chapter, Shinji reflects that Asuka had probably fantasized about it for a long time, but before him, she had never met someone she trusted enough to try it, and she wanted to be sure she could share her secret fantasies with him before their wedding. | |
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In one Dilbert strip (28 August 2010), the Pointy-Haired Boss is trying to make people believe that slave labor is ok by pretending that "slave" really refers to the BDSM kind of slavery rather than economical exploitation of poor people. | |
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Demia's Decoy Dolls from Interspecies Reviewers take this to the utter extreme; as magical constructs with a "lifespan" of three days, customers can do anything with or to them as long they don't disturb the public while doing it, and that limit is only because the mayor gave Demia an earful after all the public sex that occurred when she first started. One clone gives being locked up and left to die after being dismembered and being savagely beaten as examples of "anything", and even notes those are done by multiple people every day. | |
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| Safe, Sane, and Consensual / int_444f7f18 | comment |
In the Kushiel's Legacy universe, things can get plenty kinky but there are rules in place, and violating them isn't just illegal, it's heresy. Both law and custom ensure that even indentured sex servants only participate if they enjoy that kind of thing, and sometimes with a bodyguard waiting, just in case things go too far. | |
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| Safe, Sane, and Consensual / int_492dc64c | comment |
In For Love of Magic, Harry enters a BDSM relationship with Professor Vector and notes that he's rather proud of himself for having a good enough feel for her limits that she's never used their safe words. When he gives her to his other lovers for the night, he makes a point of everyone knowing the safe words (yellow for "ease up" and red for "stop") and reminds Vector that she can stop it at any time. | |
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| Safe, Sane, and Consensual / int_4a3437ef | comment |
Magical Diary: After a running gag for a while that Professor Potsdam was going to teach sex ed, the eventual lecture pretty much boils down to: Enthusiastic consent, don't get too distracted from schoolwork, and don't get pregnant, beyond that anything goes. This takes a dark turn in Damien's path where the lack of the 'safe and sane' part becomes painfully obvious, but still magical-world legal because you consented to what he did to you. | |
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The Time Warp from The Rocky Horror Picture Show is implied to be this for most, genuinely weird, Transylvanians. Contrast this with Frank-N-Furter's "Experiments" with easily manipulated humans. | |
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Discussed in The SM Judge, as Magda is trying to explain the difference between spousal abuse and what her husband has been doing with her. | |
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| Safe, Sane, and Consensual / int_659578e7 | comment |
Discussed in Sex Advice Succubus. When Qmin suggests possession as a way for ghosts to have sex with living partners, Chloe is initially turned off by the idea, because she has only ever read about possession in a dubcon context. Qmin then goes on to explain that there is a much nicer side to possession, and that someone willingly offering their whole body to their ghost partner is pretty much the ultimate show of trust. Or as Qmin puts it, "the most consent ever". | |
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| Safe, Sane, and Consensual / int_663064e3 | comment |
These Words Are True and Faithful emphasizes this, to the point where Ernie gets Sam to fill out a questionnaire of experience and willingness in various kinks and of health concerns. | |
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In Preaching to the Perverted, with the mistress explaining BDSM to the newcomers. | |
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| Safe, Sane, and Consensual / int_69d15cc0 | comment |
In Marvel Cinematic Universe fanfic, The Watcher Watched Tony Stark stresses to Loki the importance of enthusiastic consent and mutual pleasure multiple times much to Loki's confusion due to his personal history with bad BDSM relationships and Asgard's negative views on BDSM and homosexuality. | |
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| Safe, Sane, and Consensual / int_7668653a | comment |
Mass Effect 2: If Commander Shepard decides to romance one of their squadmates, then the ship's doctor Mordin will pull them aside to have a chat on "medical matters." Which is to say, he's giving you The Talk about how to have Safe, Sane, and Consensual intercourse no matter who you choose to romance. His advice is not played as a joke, since Shepard's potential love interests include Jack (a mentally unstable psychic), Thane (who's Bizarre Alien Biology may cause hallucinations during intercourse), and Tali (who cannot survive outside an environmental suit, so guidance for physical intimacy is certainly needed). | |
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Safe, Sane, and Consensual | |
| Safe, Sane, and Consensual / int_77184a72 | comment |
Goes back and forth in the Victorious fic "The Real me", which reveals that Tori's mother has been a dom to her father for years and she has been training Tori in anticipation of Tori joining her at the Diamond Club, a BDSM-focused club for various subs and doms, once Tori has a sub of her own. While Tori eventually chooses Jade as her sub, as the two learn more about the expectations of the Diamond Club they realise that they don't share the club's views on how extreme such a relationship should be, to the extent that subs aren't permitted to talk when in the club and the idea of a Safe Word is mocked. Tori and Jade's dynamic goes too far on some occasions, but most of these are accidental and Tori always makes sure to redefine their limits and expectations in the aftermath. | |
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| Safe, Sane, and Consensual / int_a705c715 | comment |
Cabin Fever: Inverted with Lampshading during Paul and Marcy's sex scene: It certainly isn't Safe - Marcy rejects Paul's gentle prompt to use a condom, with a half-hearted assurance that it'll be okay because she's "healthy." It's worth noting that this act is taking place in the middle of a deadly virus outbreak. Either one of them could unknowingly be infected, and therefore posing a risk of exposure to the other. It doesn't seem very Sane - Marcy's behaviour is reckless and impulsive, and she has just given a disturbing speech about how they are all doomed to die soon, indicating that she's overcome with depression, a mental breakdown, or some other condition that has severely distorted her judgement. It also doesn't seem entirely Consensual - Just look at the look of shock and confusion on Paul's face as Marcy hurls him insistently down on to the mattress! Can you really say he looks 100% happy to be there? |
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| Safe, Sane, and Consensual / int_aa632fb9 | comment |
Played both ways in Eroninja. Anko has a thing for BDSM which Naruto is willing to indulge but some of her kinks are too extreme for him, which she agrees not to try after he says no. Haruna however, was essentially abused into becoming a submissive Sex Slave who needs to be heavily abused to get off. Initially, her bodyguards fulfill the role as she can trust them to keep their sex life separate from their day-to-day lives but when they die, she finds herself in dire straits. Eventually, Naruto learns of her condition and gives her to Anko so both can indulge their kinks, and Anko only pushes things too far once and only to make sure Haruna wasn't too broken to use the safe word she was given. | |
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Played hilariously (and almost ingeniously) in Mister Miracle (2017), which reveals not only that Scott Free/Mister Miracle is in a happy, loving relationship with Big Barda, he's into bondage sex. While the sex scene doesn't show him and Barda exchanging Safe Words, Scott's entire superhero-shtick is being the greatest Escape Artist in the universe and had already demonstrated previously in the series to have escaped multiple Death Traps. When he says "I can always escape," you'll probably believe him. | |
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R100: The main character is a masochist who signs a contract with a firm of high-class dominatrixes to surprise him with bizarre sessions wherever he is. However, he eventually decides that they're intruding too much into his personal life and tries to break the contract. They refuse and go to war with him. The film never treats the main character as a pervert, though it's implied that his masochism comes from grief over his comatose wife. The writer/director is open about his masochism. | |
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In one story event in Ikemen Sengoku titled "Surrender My Love", Masamune and the main character agreed to spend a "bondage day" together after the main character responded quite positively to Masamune's playful suggestion that he get her a collar. While there was very little actual bondage involved, there was a lot of (mostly) nonsexual dominant/submissive roleplay between Masamune and the MC with Masamune "punishing" the MC whenever she did something "naughty" like passionately kissing her after she talked to another man. It's made abundantly clear throughout this that it's a completely consensual and loving roleplay, with the MC even having established a safe word with Masamune beforehand in case he suggested doing something she didn't want to do. | |
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The episode of CSI that introduced Lady Heather also featured her schooling both Gil and Catherine on the difference between BDSM and abuse, with a heavy emphasis on Safe Sane and Consensual, although she didn't use that phrase. | |
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Renzei's second season of Villainous Nights includes an optional scene in which he and the player character engage in Erotic Asphyxiation using Renzei's power over air and the heroine's telepathy, after a conversation very carefully establishing boundaries of consent and safety. Renzei instructs the heroine to choose a safeword which she can telepathically transmit to him to stop everything at a moment's notice and confirms that if she stops sharing her thoughts with him or otherwise changes her mind in any way, that will also be a signal for him to stop. | |
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This is used as therapy in Forest Tales; after an overdose of mating pheromones, Garrek becomes very aggressive during sex and he becomes afraid of accidentally hurting his mates. He hooks up with a female submissive and finds he can vent it in a controlled manner through BDSM. | |
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Specifically referenced in The Red Vixen at Sea when Rolas is knocked unconscious and falls overboard during an impromptu BDSM session on his sailboat. | |
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The Teresa Knight Trilogy: Teresa, being an ethical slut, strictly abides by this regarding sex, as do the better sex clubs. | |
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In Torchwood: Miracle Day season 4, Captain Jack Harkness finally gets a sex scene. He hooks up with a random bartender. Despite being in a foul mood and smashed drunk and the world is ending, he still absolutely insists on using condoms (since he's not immortal that day — long story), and he doesn't get dominant until his partner tells him he can be in charge. | |
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From City of Heroes we have the super-villains Black-Scorpion and his side-kick/girlfriend Silver Mantis, both cyborgs who have gotten addicted to body-modification and now have a BDSM relationship. The interesting case here is while both are outright evil, and not just a little off their rockers, they still maintain a very sincere BDSM relationship - the subversion is what Black Scorpion does to Silver Mantis is only “Safe� because their frames can withstand literal bombshells, it’s “Sane� only on the curve of super-villainy, but it is 100%, no qualifications consensual, and the two are outright aroused by torture sessions. | |
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Birthday Girl zig-zags this trope. The main character is into bondage, but he's a fairly normal guy. However, he purchases a Russian bride sight-unseen, which is hardly typical of someone with a normal romantic life. His Russian bride discovers his fetish and indulges him without any fuss. It turns out that she's a con artist trying to get his money, but by the end of the film they've formed something of a legitimate romance. | |
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Hollywood: Ernie services one client who's into really hardcore bondage and submission — his requests include being shouted at, beaten, tied up, and left at the side of the road. Ernie happily complies, but irritates the guy because he keeps breaking character to make sure he's okay, leading to a truly hilarious scene where he screams at the client and calls him a worthless pervert, shoves him into the trunk of his car... and then not even a split second later, kindly asks him if he tied him up too tight and if he's sure he'll be okay back there. It's implied this sort of thing isn't what Ernie is personally into, but if a customer is willing to pay and is fine with it, he's up for anything. | |
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