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Self-Abuse

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Masturbation portrayed as being bad for you, possibly making you go blind,note There is some slight truth to this, as both ocular humor and ejaculate contain zinc, thus chronic masturbation could, in extreme cases, lead to a zinc deficiency that could harm the eyes. Nobody's known to have actually gone blind from it, though. Alternative "scientific" explanation: Semen contains an enzyme called hyaluronidase, and certain cells in the eye contain hyaluronic acid, the chemical hyaluronidase catalyses. Sounds unhealthy when colliding. That and, you know, the possibility of accidentally squirting jizz into your eye. go deaf, or grow hair on your palms.
Another supposed result of masturbation was that it would make you go mad, though there was at least some reason for thinking this; asylum doctors would notice that many mentally disturbed people masturbated a lot, and reasonably (though incorrectly), concluded that madness was caused by masturbation.
Mostly a Discredited Trope. While certain Jewish and Christian groups still do frown on male masturbation because of the story of Onan in the Old Testament, note Which is actually a case of Alternate Aesop Interpretation; Onan didn't actually masturbate with his own hands, but instead avoided ejaculating inside Tamar while they had sex to get around the levirate marriage laws of the time, which was considered Serious Business the idea that masturbation could cause actual, physical harm came from Victorian Britain and the Second Great Awakening in the US. These were the days of Moral Guardians like U.S. postmaster Anthony Comstock and Boy Scouts founder Lord Baden-Powell, who believed that children indulging in "Secret Practices" would waste away their youth and vigor, and scores of ministers whose most lasting innovations in hygiene turned out to be Graham crackers and Kellogg's Corn Flakes.
All those old wives' tales and warnings have been turned on their ear in recent years. In fact, it has gone the other way to a certain degree. For men, medical studies suggest masturbation could lower risk for testicular cancer and help keep the prostate from becoming engorged; for women, masturbation can relieve premenstrual pain, strengthen muscles used in childbirth and treat vaginismus (a condition where the pelvic floor becomes tense, making sexual intercourse painful). Many countries' sexual education systems now recommend masturbation for young people in particular - statistics have shown that teenagers who masturbate are more likely to wait for the age of consent before they start to have sex, and also report better experiences once they do. However, masturbating too often or too much at once can cause genital pain, fatigue, and even penile fracture, so as with most things, it should be done in moderation.
One of the reasons pornography has such a bad stigma connected to it is because it "incenses the mind to masturbate". Ergo, this trope often overlaps with Corrupting Pornography.
Not to be confused with Self-Harm, which is about deliberately harming yourself in many ways (including this kind of masturbation).
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Our Dumb Century includes an advertisement for an "anti-masturbation harness and genital pouch" not only designed to securely lock the naughty bits away to prevent this, but contains a blade to prevent arousal.
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Tokyo Ghoul: Torso's psychotic nature is further emphasized when he reveals in his diary to have masturbated while thinking about the scarred torso of Mutsuki. He gets off to the idea of cutting off Mutsuki's limbs and keeping him as a lover.
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Bottom: Briefly hinted at in "Contest" when Richie pretends to be his aunt. Eddie then says "I warn you, that if your nephew reads any more art magazines, he may very well go blind."
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In Louie, Louie appears in a news show to argue with Christians Against Masturbation leader Ellen Farber, who thinks that masturbation is a sin in the eyes of God.
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Inverted in an episode of Mission Hill, where Kevin gets caught masturbating and tries to destroy the evidence, resulting in the store burning down and the kids who caught him being charged with arson. At the last minute, Kevin comes forward and, when everyone else is mocking and taunting him, Andy steps forward and calls them all down for it because not only do they all do it too, but Kevin actually had the courage to come forward and admit it in front of an entire courtroom.
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From Plan 7 of 9 from Outer Space.
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In The Bible: The Complete Word of God (abridged), an Angel of the Lord is auctioning off God's favors to the greatest sufferer. The first bidder says, "I will suffer self-abuse and spill my seed on the ground." "Onan, that's not suffering," the angel tells him. "Well, it made me go blind," Onan says.
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Be More Chill: Jeremy's SQUIP electrocutes him for planning to masturbate, believing it to be an obstacle in Jeremy's path to being cool.
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This trope is discussed (in so many words) in Alien Nation, George and Susan (Newcomers) talk about the human hangups regarding male masturbation. In Tenctonese society, it's considered to be a healthy and normal activity for a male. However, when a teacher made a suggestion to teach proper techniques in sex ed, referencing Newcomer practices, he was immediately fired, resulting in a scandal. George, for his part, has absolutely no trouble having The Talk with his son regarding this.
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On Mad Men, a ten- or eleven-year-old Sally experimentally masturbates to The Man from U.N.C.L.E. while staying over at a friend's house. The friend's mother catches her, freaks out, takes her home, and tells her mother, who threatens to cut off her fingers if she ever does that again.
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Parodied in Fast Forward
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The End of Evangelion (in)famously opens up with Shinji masturbating over a comatose Asuka in her hospital room as an indicator of how low he's sunk after Kaworu's death in Episode 24 of the TV series. His own immediate response to itnote "I'm the lowest" (JP) "I'm so fucked up" (ENG) is what really cements this incident under this trope. Even more, that moment's association with this trope is used as a plot point during Instrumentality.
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In a surprisingly mundane example, there is an episode in the first season of American Horror Story where Ben cries while masturbating to the memory of young Moira touching herself.
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In More Than Human, the tyrannical, sex-hating Mr. Kew doesn't want his daughters to even look at their bodies, let alone masturbate, and shows Alicia pictures of people with cataracts to show what will happen to her if she takes baths with the lights on.
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In The Love Guru, the protagonist is told by his severely cross-eyed teacher that if he masturbates, it will make him cross-eyed.
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Used sarcastically in Auntie Mame when Patrick's roommate gets suspicious (what he's really doing at night is sneaking out to help Mame with a Zany Scheme she's suckered him into):
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A mock advertisement in Captain Proton and the Planet of Lesbians promotes Kellogg's Corn Flakes as stopping boys from masturbating so they'll grow up tall and handsome like Captain Proton.note It also serves as a Historical In-Joke since that's what Kellogg's Corn Flakes were initially created for.
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One episode of American Dad! features Stan showing his son, Steve, an admittedly hilarious anti-masturbation propaganda film that ends with a boy screaming "NOOOOO!" as he's growing hair on his palms and his eyes melting out. The kid turns up (in a deleted scene) later in Stan's head and says something along the lines of "It was worth it."
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Call of Duty: Black Ops Cold War: During the mission “Fracture Jaw�, Adler sees Sims, casually sitting on the passenger side of his team’s helicopter, and he catches him reading a dirty magazine...and lo and behold, they have a colourful exchange.
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Unhappily married Samad in White Teeth tries to cherry-pick the ambiguities in Islamic writings as to whether masturbation is okay or not. The imam tells him that he knows the answer — to 'stay away from his right hand!' That's fine with Samad: his right hand is paralysed anyway.
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In Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Ferengi ears are a source of Fantastic Arousal when touched (and thus, grabbing them when pissed is analogous to a Groin Attack). There's a form of ear massage called "oomox." Naturally, there's a reference to an old wives tale giving yourself oomox too much making you go deaf.
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Referenced in not one but two songs from Spring Awakening:
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Another Catholic school movie, Heaven Help Us, features a compulsive masturbator who's also pallid, twitchy, and socially awkward.
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In Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, when the other crew members see the hairy black spot on Jack's hand (the mark of a curse), he's quick to say that his eyesight's as good as ever.
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Parodied on Seinfeld in "The Puffy Shirt"; George, an aspiring hand model, learns that one of the most famous models in the industry ruined his career with his masturbation habit; his hands became gnarled into claws!
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Avatar includes Dr. Augustine's blink-and-you'll-miss-it line as Jake is examining his new body's neural queue (in his hair, as a ponytail): "Don't play with that, you'll go blind."
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In an episode of The Goodies, Graeme is training rabbits in preparation for sending them into space.
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In Full Metal Jacket, a story is told relating how one marine was going to be discharged on a Section 8 for his uncontrollable urge to masturbate, even in public. His nickname? Hand Job.
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CollegeHumor: One of the patients in the "Urban Legend ER" video is a teenage boy who developed hair growth on his palms after masturbating.
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Mystery Science Theater 3000, "Body Care and Grooming": "And remember, when you touch yourself, the saints cry. Good night."
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Portnoy's Complaint by Philip Roth is framed as the ramblings of the titular Portnoy to his psychoanalyst, detailing his own neuroses around masturbation and sexuality that he feels he needs to escalate over time.
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On Adam Ruins Everything, Adam explains that this idea that masturbation is evil is what popularized the practice of (non-medical and non-religious) circumcision, mostly in the US. This was popularized back in the Victorian era by doctors and non-doctors, including the inventor of corn flakes: it was thought that by paring away the foreskin, it would reduce a boy's sex drive and urge to masturbate, or at the very least make it unpleasant. Oh, and it wasn't just done to boys, either. Many girls were also given clitoridectomies or had their clitorises deliberately burned with acid for the same reason. (Sometimes under the guise of treatment for or prevention of hysteria.)
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In the Moral Orel episode "God's Chef" Orel is told that masturbation is one of the worst sins he could commit since he's wasting his sperm. This leads to the plot of the episode, in which Orel concludes the only way to masturbate and still go to heaven is to become God's chef. He ends up impregnating the entire neighborhood with a pastry bag filled with his sperm.
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In the 1982 satire Wrong is Right, a CIA analysis of the Middle Eastern dictator lists "chronic masturbator" among his many evils.
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It may have been unintentional, but Nina Einstein's storyline from Code Geass has echoes of this trope. Early in the first season, she's shown masturbating to a picture of Princess Euphemia using the edge of a table. Then Euphemia dies, starting Nina on a downward spiral in which she threatens to blow up her school, pushes away her old friends, is manipulated into creating a Fantastic Nuke that kills 40 million people, and makes some truly grotesque facial expressions. While Nina's masturbation isn't stated to have caused her Sanity Slippage, it helped characterize her as a Psycho Lesbian, as well as one of CG's many Scrappies.
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In The Bible, Onan (in Genesis 38) was told to—in accordance with the duty of levirate marriage—have a child with Tamar, the wife of his dead brother Er. He didn't want to give her a child that would not be considered truly his, so he practiced coitus interruptus (apparently without telling Tamar what he was planning). God was displeased and struck Onan down. While ostensibly only about Onan's refusal to get Tamar pregnant, traditionally this story has been interpreted about coitus interruptus in general and masturbation by extension (the idea that it's abhorrent to ejaculate anywhere but into your wife's body — or, as the popular not-actually-in-the-Bible verse goes, it's "better to have your seed in the belly of a whore than to spill it on the ground").
For what it's worth, one Jewish tradition, cited by Rashi, attributes Er's death to punishment for coitus interruptus as well (in this case, because he didn't want Tamar to get pregnant and lose her beauty).
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Referenced in the titles of two R-rated sketch comedy films (basically Love, American Style with naked chicks): If You Don't Stop It You'll Go Blind and its sequel Can I Do It 'til I Need Glasses?. The latter is famous for being the much-regretted first movie of Robin Williams.
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Questionable Content: Claire claims that her brother Clinton lost his hand (which was subsequently replaced with a robotic prosthesis) by masturbating so much it withered into a claw and fell off.
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In Father Ted, the abominable Father Jack Hackett really does have hair on the palms of his hands. Quite a lot of it.
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A sketch on Saturday Night Live ("The Bad News Bees," from 12/2/1978, with Walter Matthau as the coach) has the killer bee costumes recycled for a youth baseball team. And the whole sketch revolves around bee-porn and "buzzing off."
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Self-Abuse
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Inevitable in Ginger Snaps 2: Unleashed given that lycanthropy serves as a metaphor for female puberty. During a relaxation exercise, Brigette starts to daydream that their teacher is instructing them on how to masturbate, but her fantasies become increasingly violent until she screams on finding the hand she was using to masturbate has become a werewolf claw.
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In Disco Elysium, the fascist Measurehead recommends "semen retention" to the protagonist during the Fascist vision quest. Of course, it is a deranged literal fascist recommending this worldview.
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Bakura in Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series gets afflicted with "the deadliest of all British diseases": Wanker's Cramp. In the closing credits of that episode, we get the sage advice "Avoid Wanker's Cramp! Know your limits!"
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A school psychologist in the 1960s film Up the Down Staircase has a troubled male student written down as having "latent homosexuality" caused by this and an overbearing mother.
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This is alluded to in Queer Duck: The Movie during the musical number "Shamalama", where Regina sings about a boy named Jimmy who became addicted to masturbation until he became blind and crazy.
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The "Mike's Left Hand" strips of Sexy Losers are based on a Running Gag about a guy who's addicted to masturbation to the point of a Fetish — he apparently can't get off any other way. He does it in all kinds of inappropriate situations and even passes up opportunities for actual sex in favour of it. A Yet Another Christmas Carol parody strip has him warned that his death will be masturbation-related... somehow.
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In Christian Nation, the male rebels who were captured by the theocratic American government and put into a re-education camp are given special monitor bands that would prevent them from engaging in masturbation.
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Referenced by name in The History Boys:
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Self-Abuse
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Alien Worlds alluded to this misconception in part one of "Adventure of the Egyptian Necklace". Maura Cassidy scolds Buddy Griff for watching a lot of television, asking him if his mother never told him that watching too much television would make his face break out and cause him to go blind. Jon Graydon informs Maura that she's confusing what she said with something else. Maura asks Jon what he's talking about and Jon answers that he'll explain it to her later.
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Leisure Suit Larry 6: Shape Up or Slip Out!: Larry's attempt at beating off is this, as he possesses no self-control and goes blind from it, naturally resulting in a game over.
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In England, a common rumor is that it causes deafness. In a Christmas episode of Hello Cheeky, it's mentioned that Denis King and his trio spend the winter hibernating under the couch with a copy of Playboy. Thus:
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In the 1980 sci-fi comedy Galaxina, The Captain of the space cruiser on which the eponymous Robot Girl serves strongly discourages having sex with a robot because you could go blind. They shouldn't have built Galaxina to resemble the 1980 Playmate of the Year then, because as she's the only female on the ship the crew would go blind either way.
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Drawn Together: A blind boy with hairy palms is used by Princess Clara in her crusade against masturbation, only for said blindness and hairy palms to be instantly cured by Wooldor's ejaculate. The boy promptly rushes to find an empty room and a bottle of hand lotion and is later seen with blurred vision and hairy palms once more during the killing spree.
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J-Men Forever. The Lightning Bug wants to know why the goon he sent to the college to sell drugs has come back early.
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The following is a list of statements referring to the current page from other pages.

 Self-Abuse
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Discredited Trope
 Self-Abuse
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Sex Tropes
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Self-Abuse
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Self-Abuse
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Self-Abuse
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Self-Abuse
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Self-Abuse
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Self-Abuse
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Self-Abuse
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Self-Abuse
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Self-Abuse
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Self-Abuse
 Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest / int_31aba995
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Self-Abuse
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Self-Abuse
 The Big Chill / int_31aba995
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Self-Abuse
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Self-Abuse
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Self-Abuse
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Self-Abuse
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Self-Abuse
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Self-Abuse
 Our Dumb Century / int_31aba995
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Self-Abuse
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Self-Abuse
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Self-Abuse
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Self-Abuse
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Self-Abuse
 Adam Ruins Everything / int_31aba995
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Self-Abuse
 Bottom / int_31aba995
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Self-Abuse
 Louie / int_31aba995
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Self-Abuse
 Mock the Week / int_31aba995
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Self-Abuse
 Mongrels / int_31aba995
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Self-Abuse
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Self-Abuse
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Self-Abuse
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Self-Abuse
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Self-Abuse
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Self-Abuse
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Self-Abuse
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Self-Abuse
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Self-Abuse