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Stupidest Thing I've Ever Heard
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Sometimes when a plan or idea is proposed, the regular insults and even a facepalm just don't cut it. Nope, they've crossed the line into what can be called a Crowning Moment of Stupidity, and the witness feels the need to comment on this. Variations can include "dumbest", "most idiotic", "most ridiculous" etc., but the same basic message applies. Sometimes, a verbal response isn't even necessary, and Facial Dialogue does all the work. However, if it's said too liberally or about something that everyone in-universe knows actually isn't stupid, they, in turn, open themselves to ridicule, as seen on The Internet where it's become so overused that it's turning into the I'm Your Worst Nightmare of insults. May be combined with Who Would Be Stupid Enough?. Contrast Crazy Enough to Work. If the person being castigated winds up being correct, this can become The Cloudcuckoolander Was Right. If a prediction we know comes true is met with this, it's a form of It Will Never Catch On. |
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Fight Club: | |
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The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl is often thought of as one of those movies that's So Bad, It's Good by viewers, but one line at the end is rather hilarious: | |
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In the dub of Mobile Suit Zeta Gundam, Haman says this when Kamille suggests that killing Earthnoids isn't justified. | |
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King Leonardo and His Short Subjects: When King Leonardo hears something outrageous or silly, he'd quip "That's the most unheard of thing I've ever heard of!" | |
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Escape from the Moon: In the sequel The Mare From the Moon, this is Spliced Genome's reaction to learning that being an alicorn automatically puts you in a position of leadership in this world, especially if they try to make her a princess - she admits that she would make a terrible leader, having killed every plant she's ever owned out of negligence. Even a cactus. | |
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On the X-Men story "Holy War": | |
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In Heathers: | |
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In A Midsummer Night's Dream, Hippolyta's reaction to the Show Within a Show (specifically, that the wall seperating the lovers has exited the stage once his purpose was fulfilled) is "This is the silliest stuff that ever I heard." | |
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In The Cosby Show, when Cliff confronts Theo about his grades, Theo goes into a spiel about how being an educated professional was fine for his parents, but that wasn't the path he wanted in life and his family should accept him the way he is. The anticipated "Awww" hug scene is averted when Cliff tells him "Son... that's the DUMBEST thing I ever heard in my entire LIFE! No WONDER you get Ds in everything!" The audience was supposed to realize that Theo was talking nonsense. Mr Cosby ad-libbed the line to shift their reaction.note This scene becomes Harsher in Hindsight in later seasons, after Theo is diagnosed with learning disabilities. | |
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In the TaleSpin episode "Her Chance to Dream", Rebecca was waiting for Baloo, who's at Louie's having a party, to return. Then the ghost wreaks havoc, chasing everyone away. Baloo comes back all shaken up with his "dumbest excuse" yet. | |
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From Coupling: | |
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In Tales of Monkey Island, we have "You want me, an officer of the court, to aid in a jailbreak? Why, the mere idea is so preposterous that it's practically postposterous!" | |
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From Chuck, the title character has an antidote for a deadly poison in his blood, and the needle broke. So he kisses his (male) infected friend. | |
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In an episode of House, Thirteen says something profound and House tells her "that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard." As soon as she leaves the room, he adds two extra points to her score, even though she was already on maximum points. | |
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That '70s Show has a scene where Kelso explains to Jackie that he cheated on her because she would always insult his intelligence. She responds that it was the dumbest thing she ever heard. Surprisingly, however, Kelso realizes she's still insulting him, and then states that he isn't sorry he cheated on her, and proceeds to break up with her. | |
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From the Cheers episode "Little Sister, Don't Cha": | |
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The Simpsons During "Lisa on Ice", Lisa declares an academic alert saying she's failing gym is the dumbest thing she's ever heard. She then attempts to scrunch it up and throw it in a nearby trashcan. She fails. "In Marge We Trust", Rev. Lovejoy has a vision with four Saints: |
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In the dub of The Disappearance of Nagato Yuki-chan, Haruhi says this verbatim about Ry�ko worrying that if Yuki gets closer to Kyon, she'll drift away from Ry�ko. Haruhi says Ry�ko and Yuki are close enough that they shouldn't worry about that. | |
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A funny bit also comes in The Secret of Monkey Island, when Guybrush Threepwood introduces himself to a pirate in the Scumm Bar. | |
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In Monsters, Inc. when Mike tells Sulley to watch Boo in the locker room while he gets the card-key to her closet. | |
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From the Justice League episode "Panic in the Sky": | |
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Atop the Fourth Wall: On the X-Men story "Holy War": Ironically, he would then say the same thing about the evil plan in Future 5: Dr. Know plans on becoming the smartest and most powerful man on Earth by... convincing everyone to not go to college. Linkara saying this is Tempting Fate in its purest form. |
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Magnum, P.I. episode "Memories Are Forever: Part 1" : | |
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8-Bit Theater: Red Mage tends to trigger this in his "comrades", but the best example may be 1150. "That is quite literally the least practical plan put together by an allegedly thinking creature." According to Black Mage, it's the stupidest thing anyone has ever heard, not just him. Earlier, in #68, the weapon shop owner in Corneria mocks Fighter's idea of "swordchucks" as "the worst idea anyone has ever had." |
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Felicity had Megan propose a long theory about how Felicity's song preferences show she likes Ben, at which point Ben delivered this line. | |
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The Secret Show: When Doctor Doctor infiltrated a contest to pick a world anthem, Victor Volt theorized she intended to hypnotize everyone with her song. His fellow agents scolded him for believing someone would use such a ridiculous idea. Doctor Doctor proved him right. | |
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Sean Devine in Mystic River says this when his partner Whitey suggests a theory for the murder they're investigating, that Dave Boyle, Sean's childhood friend, killed Katie Marcus. In this case, the theory itself isn't actually that stupid, as there's a good deal of evidence suggesting it, but Sean simply doesn't want to consider the possibility. At the end Sean was right, and while Dave did kill someone, it wasn't Katie. | |
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Dilbert: The Pointy-Haired Boss asks an employee a question using a nonsensical mashup of technical jargon. The bewildered employee replies that his question makes no sense, adding, "What the heck is wrong with you?". Dilbert satisfies the PHB by giving him an even bigger trainwreck of technical jargon, which stuns the co-worker into traumatized silence. In this strip, the PHB declares that he's going to smack people who say stupid things to him. Dilbert responds with the trope's title, which causes the boss to smack himself and convinces Dilbert that maybe he should give it a shot. |
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From the King of the Hill episode "Hilloween", when Luanne has been brainwashed by a delusional Moral Guardian. | |
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Sesame Street: Bert asks Ernie to go to Mr. Hooper's Store and buy a newspaper, so Ernie decides to plan for the trip. After getting his scarf and hat and earmuffs (in case there's a sudden cold spell), his umbrella (in case there's a sudden storm), sunglasses and suntan lotion (because he gets sunburned easily), and a flashlight (in case it gets dark), Ernie says he needs bubble gum, in case he meets a bear on the way. | |
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The Muppet Show: One Muppet Newsflash has the newsreader read out a report about a disease going around suddenly turning people into ducks. He starts saying this, and... well... quack. | |
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Freakazoid!: Freakazoid gets this opportunity after The Lobe tells him all about his plan to use a giant cloud to turn people into zombie clowns. Freakazoid scowls, and simply replies, "Well, if you don't mind me saying so, that is the stupidest plan I've ever heard of!" and rants about its ridiculousness until the Lobe is reduced to tears. This is almost immediately subverted when, after the Lobe leaves, Freakazoid immediately starts laughing and exclaiming that the plan is a brilliant one. | |
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Used in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Of course, Harry decides to do exactly that, train his fellow students in a group he calls "Dumbledore's Army". Not that they are going to take on the Ministry of Magic, but Voldemort. | |
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In Homestuck, Vriska reveals that she was behind Jack Noir becoming omnipotent and extremely dangerous, saying that she created him because she plans to kill him. John's reaction is as follows: | |
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In Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, Chekov has traveled back in time to the 20th century and been captured by the Feds. But they don't quite know what to make of him: | |
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In Dirty Dancing, this is Johnny's response when inexperienced Baby suggests to fill in for Penny. | |
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In DuckTales (2017) Bradford declares Huey and Louie's suggestion for Loophole Abuse on the Papyrus of Binding- that the clause that says Scrooge can keep his family if he gives up adventuring is flawed because family is the greatest adventure of all-was the stupidest thing he ever heard. He's flabbergasted when the Papyrus accepts the loophole and dissolves, absolving Scrooge of being bound to the contract. | |
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The Simpsons Movie: Note that this is Hypocritical Humor since Homer delivered the exact same line to Marge not half an hour earlier in the movie. Quite a very cruel subversion to Meaningful Echo. |
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The Order of the Stick, "It Was a Dark and Stormy Night": | |
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Super Human Samurai Syber Squad: In one episode, Amp's idea to prepare himself for a test was literally eating the books. Malcolm stated it was the dumbest idea he ever heard and that's considering Malcolm heard Amp saying really dumb stuff before. | |
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Turnabout Storm has a double example: Phoenix pulls this out the moment Trixie brings up a storm cloud as "decisive evidence". It bites him back when he discovers that yes, that cloud could perfectly be moved around by the defendant, and this is common knowledge in Equestria. | |
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In The Dark Knight, although he doesn't say it, this is clearly Lucius Fox's reaction to Wayne Enterprises' lead accountant threatening to expose Bruce Wayne as Batman. The deadpan delivery of Morgan Freeman sells it perfectly. | |
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American Dad!: "Finances with Wolves": "Tears of a Clooney": |
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In Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius, this exchange occurs after Sheen relates the current situation to an episode of Ultra Lord: | |
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Words of Radiance (second book of The Stormlight Archive): Lopen suggests that Kaladin patch things up with Syl by buying her a hat. Syl is a spren, so she's incorporeal and couldn't even wear a hat. Kaladin's response is "That's the most ridiculous piece of advice I've ever been given." Lopen promptly suggests something stupider and says that the hat thing is now only the second most ridiculous, so Kaladin should try it. | |
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Dead Ringers: When Gary Lineker interrupts Match of the Day to point out the new host, Gabby Logan, isn't making inane sports commentary, she suggests maybe football coverage doesn't need inane commentary, Gary declares this the dumbest thing he's heard all day, and therefore proof Gabby's getting the hang of it. | |
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In Sam & Max Hit the Road, after hooking it up so he can do so, Sam proudly declares that he can control the rotation of a rotating restaurant on top of the world's largest ball of twine via a pair of mounted binoculars. Max informs him that this is the most ridiculous thing he's ever heard, and gets a shock of static electricity for his troubles. | |
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In Mass Effect 3, Shepard uncovers a hanar diplomat selling out its planet to the Reapers. Upon being informed of the hanar's rationale (Hanar worship the Protheans → the Protheans were turned into the Collectors and obey the Reapers → thus the Hanar must worship the Reapers): | |
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Tress of the Emerald Sea: One of Tress' new shipmates is Ann, an avid gun aficionado. Except, for some reason, every time she pulls out one of her many guns the rest of the crew physically restrains her because they are terrified of what happens when she tries to shoot anything. Therefore, when Tress suggests Ann fire the cannon, everyone is even more horrified than usual. Including Hoid, who is narrating. | |
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Murder by Death has Sidney Wang after Dick Charleston presents the theory that Lionel Twain murdered himself. | |
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The Colbert Report has an occasional feature called "The Craziest F#@king Thing I've Ever Heard," a parody of Bill O'Reilly's "Most Ridiculous Item of the Day." One example was an event where strongmen pulled trucks by their ear-lobes, prompting Colbert to speculate on the future of "ear-powered" transportation, and the inclusion of "ear-only" traffic lanes. A one-time variant was called "The Most Poetic F#@king Thing I've Ever Heard." | |
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In Escape from Monkey Island, Guybrush talks with Ignatius Cheese, who tells him that keeping Ozzie Mandrill out of the Scumm Bar has taken all of his Insult Arm-Wrestling skills. Guybrush comments that "If it weren't for the whole, 'Wife being declared dead' thing, I'd say that was the strangest story I'd heard all week." This gets a Call-Back later when Meathook tells him how he taught himself to paint using his hooks and coloured candle wax. Guybrush replies "That's the silliest story I've heard in hours." | |
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Uttered by a villain in a strip of Super Stupor in response to a minion warning him about the resident Little Miss Badass, and how heroes don't send out kids unless they can kick serious ass. He ignores the warning and promptly gets fried. | |
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Taxi Driver: | |
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In the pilot for DC Super Hero Girls 2019, the evil plan involving destroying various buildings while everyone is stuck in virtual reality is revealed to be not the work of Lex Luthor, but his little sister, Lena. At her Motive Rant about doing away with everything teenager-related so that kids will run free and rule the city, there's a silence only filled by her childish evil laughter, the collected superhero girls (obviously still there to stop her and her Humongous Mecha) look at a loss for words, or concerned, until Supergirl finally says: | |
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In the Star vs. the Forces of Evil episode "Sleep Spells", Marco and Star react this way to the villain outlining her plan to swap faces with Star, because somehow said villain has gotten the idea that her body is indistinguishable from Star's. | |
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In New Hope University: Major In Murder, Monokuma has all the students hooked up into a lie-detecting machine called the Cricket, and asks them to talk for the next ten minutes. Jane complains that "this is the stupidest thing (she's) ever heard"... only for the machine to register that statement as a lie. | |
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Played for laughs in The Lion King (1994). | |
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From Red vs. Blue episode "Heavy Metal", when Sarge proposes charging the enemy base single file: | |
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In Shrek after Farquaad realizes that Shrek is in love with Fiona, Farquaad laughs at him for having the idea of a princess and an ogre being together. | |
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Kissed by the Baddest Bidder: Mamoru's response to hearing Aida claim that he was born to kill Mamoru and the protagonist: "That's the stupidest reason I ever heard for bein' born!" | |
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Rugrats: In "Chuckie's First Haircut", Chuckie is terrified at the thought of getting his hair cut. Tommy suggests that he just go through with it instead of living in fear. | |
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In the Futurama episode "The Cyber House Rules", when Leela says that she's getting an eye surgery: Later on in the episode, Fry asks Leela if she'd rather be like the rest of the Planet Express crew, or have no "severe mental or social disabilities whatsoever". Leela declares this the dumbest thing she's ever heard, and everyone else agrees with her. |
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The Angry Video Game Nerd, when reviewing the godawful Superman video game (not that one, one for the NES) and realizing that he has to buy a subway ticket when Superman can fly. | |
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When Kris Kringle hears about the toy-ban in Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town, he rolls his eyes and remarks, "That's the silliest thing I've ever heard of!" | |
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Most of Black Whirlwind's stories in Jade Empire allows your main character to respond with this line. | |
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Young Sheldon: Said by Connie in "Stuffed Animals and a Sweet Southern Syzygy" when Georgie tells her his plan to get the backroom casino running again. A talk with Dale makes her reconsider. | |
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At the end of the film What's Up, Doc?note Also an Actor Allusion, since Howard is played by Ryan O'Neal, who starred in Love Story, where the line comes from.: | |
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If the Emperor Had a Text-to-Speech Device: In "Warp Grumbling", the God-Emperor of Mankind has this reaction when Magnus the Red tells him that he's been creating a Chaos god of Unbelief and becoming his champion. | |
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In the sixth episode of the eight season of Game of Thrones, when it becomes apparent that there is no ruler of the Seven Kingdoms, due to Jon, (aka Amon Targaryen) killing Daenerys, and thus being condemned for killing the queen, it is proposed that the best way to rectify the situation is to choose a new ruler amongst the most powerful nobles of Westeros. Sam recommends that if the ruler of the Seven Kingdoms will represent everyone, then everyone, from peasant to nobles, should be able to (democratically) chose the ruler. Cue mocking laughter from everyone else. | |
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In Perfect Kirby, Kirby learns that the Big Bad of Episode III wants to Take Over the World in order to get rid of a coworker he doesn't like, simply because the person in question makes terrible coffee. | |
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Subverted in Left 4 Dead 2. Coach comes up with an idea to start up a band's pyrotechnics in order to call for a helicopter. After hearing this, Nick drops this line. | |
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In X-Men, after Professor X tells Wolverine about the X-Men and their mission to protect the humans who hate and fear them, then tells him several of the team's code names: | |
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Ambush Bug once told Superman about his origin — an alien scientist decided to save his greatest possession from his exploding planet and loaded it into a rocket, sending it into outer space. Supes thought it was the dumbest thing he'd ever heard. | |
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SpongeBob SquarePants: Similar to the Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius example above, the episode "I Had an Accident" has this exchange when SpongeBob announces that he's never going outside again for his own protection. Said word for word by Squidward in the "The Camping Episode", when they talk about Sea Bears. |
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El Goonish Shive: At one point Pandora travels into the dreams of one of the main characters and sees this. The very next page she claims that "Well, this is among the stupidest things I've ever seen." And coming from an Immortal who's seen just about everything, that's saying a lot. | |
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And again when Wakka in Final Fantasy X compares the destruction of the Al Bhed's Home to "happy festival fireworks": | |
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Danielle Moonstar uses this against Cyclops early in New X-Men: Academy X, when the latter suggests keeping from their students that the corpse of their recently deceased teacher has been stolen and that he might return as a brainwashed zombie. | |
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My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic: In "Lesson Zero", Twilight Sparkle fearing that Princess Celestia would send her back to magic kindergarten is the most ridiculous thing Spike has ever heard. | |
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From Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series: | |
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Billy Madison provides the page quote, which was a response to Billy comparing the Industrial Revolution to a completely unrelated children's book that dawdles on into a tangent, and the question wasn't even about comparing it to a book, it was about discussing modern novels that got their influence from the Revolution. The applause Billy got after showing support for the school's football team did nothing to mask his "insanely idiotic" answer. | |
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Even the mild-mannered Gil Grissom of CSI once said this. Grissom's tone while saying the line is quite possibly the closest thing to facepalming in vocal form: | |
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Oh God, Not Again! has some: | |
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In Hunter × Hunter, Kurapika says this when Leorio asks why he would need to be a Hunter to take revenge on the Phantom Troupe, ignoring all the benefits exclusive to a Hunter that would help him. | |
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Monkey Island: In Escape from Monkey Island, Guybrush talks with Ignatius Cheese, who tells him that keeping Ozzie Mandrill out of the Scumm Bar has taken all of his Insult Arm-Wrestling skills. Guybrush comments that "If it weren't for the whole, 'Wife being declared dead' thing, I'd say that was the strangest story I'd heard all week." This gets a Call-Back later when Meathook tells him how he taught himself to paint using his hooks and coloured candle wax. Guybrush replies "That's the silliest story I've heard in hours." A funny bit also comes in The Secret of Monkey Island, when Guybrush Threepwood introduces himself to a pirate in the Scumm Bar. In Tales of Monkey Island, we have "You want me, an officer of the court, to aid in a jailbreak? Why, the mere idea is so preposterous that it's practically postposterous!" |
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The Spoony Experiment: The villain from the 1970s Captain America serial get this reaction from Spoony when it's revealed that he wants to nuke Phoenix, Arizona to get at the gold repository under the city. And again when Wakka in Final Fantasy X compares the destruction of the Al Bhed's Home to "happy festival fireworks": |
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Codename: Kids Next Door: In the episode "Operation: L.O.C.K.D.O.W.N.", a lockdown of the Treehouse has been enacted, Count Spankulot had supposedly escaped from jail and is loose in the Treehouse, but the real culprit turns out to be Numbuh One transformed into a Spank-Happy Vampire, having already spanked Numbuhs Two and Three, and the lockdown will only last until morning... unless you use the Quadruple Emergency Bypass Code, which can override any Treehouse computer command and can lift the lockdown earlier. Numbuh Two remembers the code after Numbuh Four, fearful he will be the Count's next victim, chews him out for forgetting to put in an emergency exit, which leads to this exchange: Subverted in Operation: "F.L.A.V.O.R.". After Numbuh Five is kidnapped by the Delightful Children's ice cream men mooks, she is taken to the legendary Temple of the Fourth Flavor, where several mooks have tried - and failed - to get inside by guessing the "Flavor of the Day". After watching the rather unpleasant fate of one mook who gets it wrong (by saying "bannilla minty ripple", obviously a wild guess), the Delightful Children make Numbuh Five try it. After thinking for a minute, her guess is "sundae". At first, the Delightful Children think that's the stupidest guess yet, but they are interrupted in the middle of saying so by the door rumbling open. (Clearly, Numbuh Five's guess wasn't so stupid, as it was the right answer, and she may have well told them that You Were Trying Too Hard if she didn't have to take that chance to run into the temple ahead of them.) |
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In Dr. Strangelove, after they get the codes from the psycho General Ripper to trigger a nuclear strike on Soviet Russia: | |
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Dexter's Lab: Equestria: This is the titular boy genius response to the Canterlot Wedding story, actually to a lot of things that are common knowledge in Equestria. That is until he encounters a Changeling himself that targets him over his diagnostic machine. | |
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South Park: This as a stock line delivered whenever Cartman gets an idea. "Cartman Gets an Anal Probe" As well as: In the 6th season episode "Red Hot Catholic Love": |
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Mork & Mindy: | |
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From Dungeons & Dragons (2000): | |
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Almost everyone's opinion towards Emmett's Double-Decker Couch in The LEGO Movie. | |
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Manly Guys Doing Manly Things: Used verbatim in this strip, in response to a plan to entrap Sailor Moon: | |
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Subverted in the Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode "Graduation Day": And brought around again a minute later, after Cordelia outlines her own plan: |
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Spaceballs: It later turns out that this is, in fact, the combination President Skroob has on his luggage. | |
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Hey Arnold!: Helga treated everyone to dinner at Chez Paris and didn't realize until they received the check at the end that her coupon was for Chez Pierre across the street. | |
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In The Critic, this is Jay Sherman's reaction when he learns about the "Cabbie Exchange Program", where cab drivers from New York are switched with drivers from Iraq, to ensure that no cabbie speaks the language of the city they're in. | |
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The villain from the 1970s Captain America serial get this reaction from Spoony when it's revealed that he wants to nuke Phoenix, Arizona to get at the gold repository under the city. | |
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