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The One That Got Away
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A character once had a great love in their life, but that was a long time ago. Somewhere along the way, they lost them, often without even realizing at the time what they were giving up. Now all they have left are bittersweet memories. Second Love often has an unenviable time getting them over it. This trope can fall into three categories: The Stepping Stone: Even if the love ends tragically, the vibrant, passionate romance shared by the characters and/or their heartbreaking split may help with Character Development, setting them on the path to a better, more fulfilling life. It can even help the characters in future relationships, like knowing what love and respect they are worthy of, or learning from their mistakes to make the love last. The Tragic Loss: The characters never get over their One that Got Away. They can try, sure, but the loss sticks with them. For years, possibly even forever, the characters are haunted by the wonderful memories and the bitter idea of what could have been. This regret can alter their lives positively or negatively, depending on the character. The Fantasy Fulfilled: After years of separation, bitter regret, and pining for each other despite being apart, the characters get a second chance to be together. They sort things out, rekindle their romance and it's Happily Ever After. If the lost love does ever turn up this is Old Flame, or one of its subtropes, instead. Old Flame Fizzle may occur if his memories were idealized, or she changed. Sister trope to Did Not Get the Girl, only here we never even meet the "girl" (in the present anyway; flashbacks are allowed). See also Girl Next Door Turned Superstar, when the one that got away becomes a celebrity. If said lost love is dead and has a larger role in the story dead than alive, you're looking at The Lost Lenore, which is a sister trope but distinct. If you came here looking for that one criminal case a detective failed to solve, see That One Case. |
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On Adventure Time, Betty is this for Simon, aka the Ice King. It's tinged with The Lost Lenore as well, since she would presumably have died centuries before the show's setting. As it turns out, Betty jumped through a time portal opened by a temporarily sane Simon attempting to communicate to her and by the end of the episode is still out in Ooo, seeking a way to cure him of his insanity. | |
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His Dark Materials: By the end of the series Will and Lyra are this to each other as they're forced to stay in different universes for the rest of their lives. They promise to try and become Type 1's and fall in love with other people eventually - but given the circumstances note i.e. how impossible it will be to find someone else who can understand what they've been through during the story they seem set as Type 2's. The sequel series proves this to be the case. | |
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The titular "Skinny Love" of the Bon Iver song refers to this, in specific a beloved relationship that was already on the brink of destruction — "skinny" from malnourishment — and ended despite how much the narrator wanted it to work. The worst part is that the narrator realized that in trying desperately to keep the flame alive, they became demanding and controlling in a way that only accelerated things further, leaving them hungry for love but with nothing to blame but themselves. | |
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Evoked in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, when Harry sees Harmony. | |
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One episode of House has Wilson tell Taub and Kutner about House's "one that got away". Turns out he was just screwing with them—he even gives the woman's name as "Irene Adler". House actually did have a The One Who Got Away in Stacy, whom he rejected anyway after realizing that he could never love her like her husband Mark could. | |
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In Luke Combs's "She Got the Best of Me", the narrator credits the one that got away with starting his music career— he learned to play as a way of coping after she broke his heart— but admits he's not over her yet. | |
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Past Lives: Narration in the trailer establishes that Nora and Hae Sung are "what could have been"s for each other. Hae Sung flies to America just to visits her, and muses that if she hadn't moved away, they might have dated or even married. | |
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"There Goes My Baby" by Trisha Yearwood: | |
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In Scott Pilgrim Envy is this for Scott, to the point that even a year later, and after he has already started dating Ramona, a single phone call from her can reduce him to a sobbing wreck. It takes almost the entire series for him to get over her. On the flip side, Scott is this for Lisa Miller (that he never dated but is still pining for him), Kim (and their break up turned her into The Cynic), Knives (for whom he's also the first love), and Envy herself, who after their break up got together with a complete jerk and ended up spending almost as much time as Scott getting over him. |
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Harry Potter: Lily Evans is this to Severus Snape. She's also The Lost Lenore, though, as she died after choosing James Potter. Cecilia is this to Tom Riddle, Sr., as he was bewitched into marrying Merope Gaunt via magical means (either with the Imperius Curse or a Love Potion, as Harry surmises, though Dumbledore believes the latter is more likely). |
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Evangelion 303: Invoked by Shinji in chapter 13 when he is trying to talk Asuka into remaining together and thinks that if he fails, she - the only woman that he has ever loved and will probably ever love - will vanish from his life forever. | |
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For Better or for Worse: Anthony is treated as this for Elizabeth, despite them having a mutual break up during college and being in other relationships. They Do, but at the expense of Anthony ruining his marriage to Thèrése and Elizabeth sabotaging her relationships with Paul and Warren. An arc where Elly and John take a dance class reveals that John has one in his high school girlfriend, Patsy O’Connor who dumped him in Grade 10. Elly is understandably not happy about this. |
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In The Truman Show the title character falls for a woman named Lauren. However, since his life is actually a television show, she's actually an actress named Sylvia and he's not supposed to like her. The two only get one stolen kiss before the show's producers force them apart, but he continues to pine for her for years. At the end of the film, when Truman escapes the show, Sylvia is shown rushing out for him, implying they reunite. | |
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King of the Hill: Boomhauer has Katherine Hester, an old girlfriend that he hasn't seen for twelve years and it's shown that he was this to her. She unexpectedly returns to his life engaged to his younger brother Patch. Things get complicated for Boomhauer because not only is he still in love with Katherine but also because Patch proves very sleazy in his own behavior, which eventually cancels their engagement. At the end, Katherine leaves town again to clear her head but both of them leave the door open to possibly rekindle things in the future. | |
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In Total Drama fanfic Lunch Date with a Goth, an Indie Chick, and a Wide-Eyed Bubble Boy Gwen is still regretful on how her relationship ended with Trent. | |
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The Great Gatsby: The entire plot is based around this and Gatsby's subsequent attempts to win her back. He doesn't. | |
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In One Touch of Venus, the reason that modern art collector Whitlaw Savory buys a 3000-year-old Anatolian statue of a goddess is that it reminds him of "the girl who got away." When Savory runs into the goddess wandering through the Big Applesauce, he recognizes her as his girl that got away but not as his missing statue. | |
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The whole plot of Chasing Amy is the unfolding events of how a girl becomes this to the protagonist. The title of the movie itself is presented as another way of saying "The One That Got Away," and this trope could in fact be renamed to that with little difference in meaning. | |
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In An Extended Performance and A Long Night at the Hippodrome, Trixie Lulamoon and Piercing Gaze, to each other. (This is possible because of Trixie's serious emotional problems.) | |
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HERZ: Kurumi had a crush on Shinji since they met in high-school. However, he was always in love with Asuka. She spent years chasing after him, but she never managed to get him to reciprocate her feelings, and her attempts to seduce him were impulsive and ill-though-out and alienated him further. | |
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SAPR: Sunset and Flash for each other, even though they both agree that they’re better off apart. | |
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Darling: How Diana feels about Robert. She doesn't seem to care very much about anybody else, but she breaks down sobbing after her infidelity causes Robert to dump her. Later she muses about how chance timing cost them a chance of reuniting. At the end she goes back to England to meet him, they have sex, and she's deliriously happy, talking about how they're going to live together in the country. Robert then cruelly rejects her, having had his revenge. | |
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In The Memory Band, an installment of Skyhold Academy Yearbook, Dorian and Varric share a drink and talk about the people who qualify for this role in their lives. | |
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Equestria Girls: Friendship Souls: Could be taken literally in Thorax and Luna's case. They met when they were, relatively young, and, while it started as normal fights, it eventually turned into friendship and later into genuine affection. Unfortunately, It ended poorly for them when Thorax trusted his family too much and Luna almost died, barely escaping but not without losing a piece of her soul. A big part of his plans revolves around convincing her to talk with him so he could apologize. After events at Camp Everfree, Thorax finally had the chance, but Luna says she can't forgive him yet. | |
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Confession Executive Committee by HoneyWorks features Mio and Haruki, a couple of "friends" who are obviously in love with each other, but neither ever worked up the courage to confess, and both ended up parting ways (Haruki moved to America after graduating high school) without realising that their feelings are actually reciprocated by the other. They get better, but it still takes a long while before they even date. | |
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NUMB3RS suggests that Robin Brooks is this to Don Eppes, though the trope is later subverted with the couple deciding to give their relationship another shot. They later get engaged. | |
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Summerland (2020): Alice has been reclusive and unhappy since Vera, her lover, left her years ago. Later it turns out this is because Vera wanted to have children. They get back together after meeting once again. | |
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In Steven Universe, Rose is this for Pearl. She's also The Lost Lenore, though, as she died after choosing Greg. | |
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City Slickers: Mitch asks Curly the cattle boss if he's ever been in love: | |
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Aggretsuko: Retsuko's mother sets her up on an arranged date with a polar bear named Shirota, and despite her initial reservations Retsuko does end up having a good time with him on their date. However, those reservations come back and she breaks it off after one date, and when she changes her mind and tries to go back to him she finds he's moved on and found a new girlfriend, leaving Retsuko with nothing but regrets. | |
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Kontrola: Even when they're in relationships with other people after theirs collapsed, Natalia and Majka quiet clearly want one another most of all. | |
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"One Love" by Marianas Trench. | |
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Harry Vanderspeigle from Resident Alien is an alien stranded on Earth. He had a woman he loved back on his home planet. However, he's unlikely to ever see her again as even if he does get back home, she might be dead from old age, since Harry had to travel to Earth via Sleeper Ship for an unknown amount of time. | |
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30 Rock: When Floyd came back to visit, Liz tried to invoke this trope ("The next time Floyd brings some corn-pone tranny back to his apartment, all he's going to be thinking about is me standing there in the snow looking like the one that got away."), but largely failed. | |
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Devi is this to Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, both in the romantic sense and the serial-killer sense joked about in the page quote. | |
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Red vs. Blue: The Director of Project Freelancer is so haunted by the memory of a lost love that he ends up in a perpetual cycle of losing her over and over again, via the AI he created (a Living Memory of his own experiences) and the Virtual Ghost that the AI creates in the image of the Director's lost love. | |
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A Song of Ice and Fire: Tyrion Lannister's One That Got Away is his first "wife", Tysha. He saved her from brigands, fell in love with her, and married her. Then his father Tywin revealed to him that she was actually a whore hired by him to teach him a lesson, had his entire guard rape her, paid her, then sent her away. This leads Tyrion to never love another woman again, going with whores instead. Later it is revealed that she wasn't actually a whore; that was just a lie (or, as generously as possible, Metaphorically True) created by Tywin to humiliate him. Tywin has one himself: his long-dead wife, Joanna, almost certainly the only person on Earth he ever truly loved. She died giving birth to Tyrion, which explains an awful lot of Tywin's profound loathing for his son. Catelyn Stark is this to her childhood friend, Petyr "Littlefinger" Baelish. He loved her since they were children, once fought a duel with her fiancé for her hand... and lost bitterly. That wasn't the end of it, though; he takes it to disturbing levels... Catelyn always saw him as Like Brother and Sister. Jorah Mormont's legal wife, Lynesse Hightower, who abandoned him after he fell on hard times. Despite despising her for dumping him, he has been basing his idea of a lover on her; his love for Daenerys Targaryen is partly because she resembles Lynesse. |
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In Hot Tub Time Machine, Adam views his old girlfriend Jenny as this. But once he goes back in time and starts hanging out with her again it's easy to see why he broke up with her. Then he becomes depressed about it, especially after finding out she was originally gonna dump him, believing the choices he made in his life are pointless. | |
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A Christmas Carol: Ebenezer Scrooge and his vanished fiancée Belle. | |
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In Peanuts story Everybody's Gotta Leave Sometime, Charlie Brown acknowledges he ran out of chances to woo the Little Red-Haired Girl. | |
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Game of Thrones: Catelyn Stark is this to her childhood friend, Petyr "Littlefinger" Baelish. He takes it to disturbing levels... | |
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Acapulco: It quickly becomes clear that Maximo and Julia are not together in the present, but judging from how she features so heavily in his stories and he keeps the bracelet he had meant to give her all the way back in 1985 with him, he has not completely gotten over her. | |
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Sleepers: Carol to Michael, as the latter couldn't explain to her the trauma he endured, and they broke up. The ending shows he still has feelings for her. | |
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Willoughby considers Marianne this at the end of Sense and Sensibility. Though he and his rich wife are said to not always be unhappy together, Willougby still compares any up-and-coming belles unfavorably to the now Mrs. Brandon. | |
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Believe it or not, Muriel Finster was this in Recess: School's Out. When she, Prickly, and Benedict were young, she used to date Benedict. However, due to his desire to boost test scores by getting rid of recess at their school, she broke up with him. Because Benedict genuinely had feelings for Muriel, he never dated another woman. | |
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Season 2 of Californication features Lew Ashby, a music mogul, who got so wrapped up in the fame and the money that he lost his girlfriend, Janie, who got married to some Jerkass. Hank even tells Lew that Janie is his "Daisy Buchanan," and the whole season is basically a Whole-Plot Reference to The Great Gatsby. Up to and including Gatsby/Ashby's death. | |
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With the introduction of romantic subplots upon its revival in 2005, Doctor Who has had a few of these implied for the lead character, the Doctor. Rose Tyler is the first; after she is trapped, supposedly forever, in a parallel world, the Doctor spends the entirety of the next season pining over her, to the point of alienating his next companion, Martha, who attempts to become his Second Love and fails. Clara Oswald is an odd example of this trope being zig-zagged. The Doctor falls in love with her, but ultimately loses her due to a Trauma Conga Line that includes her being Killed Off for Real, but then revived. In order to move on and stop himself from being Woobie, Destroyer of Worlds, the Doctor submits to a Mind Rape that wipes most—but not all—of his memories of Clara. He remembers her as a friend he traveled with, not that he was in love with her. Where the "one who got away" aspect kicks in is it's established that Clara, due to the Doctor's interference, is now functionally immortal and as such could have been the first companion actually capable of staying with the Doctor for the rest of his life. But he had to let her go. |
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The ending of Little Nicky shows that Satan (Nicky's father) never got over his relationship with Holly (Nicky's mother, an angel). The end credits reveal they tried to get back together but couldn't deal with a long-distance relationship and found other love interests. | |
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Central Park: In Season 2 "The Shadow", Hank was infatuated with Bitsy when he first saw her as a young beat cop working as detail after the Shadow's first theft 60 years ago, but never said anything to her. While he eventually moved on and found someone else, he still regrets not speaking up. | |
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Anna in Out Cold, a pretty French girl who Rick meets while vacationing in Mexico. Even though it turns out that she's engaged and was all along, Rick still pursues her and ignores Jenny, a local girl who's clearly far better for him. | |
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As does Jake Owen. | |
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Badfinger's "Baby Blue." | |
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In Diablo III Lyndon fell deeply in love with a woman named Rea, but she chose to marry his brother instead. He still loves her but after a scam went wrong and Lyndon's brother ended up in jail, she thinks he's responsible and hates him. The Reaper Of Souls expansion reveals that this trope might have been invoked by Rea. She murdered her husband. There's an implication that she's the Thieves Guild Master and has been playing a long con on both brothers. |
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Chronomistress: Out of Time: Daisy Chain, for Time Turner, who otherwise has little affection in his heart. This single old flame is enough of a weakness for him to get trapped in a Lotus-Eater Machine of romantic memories. | |
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A pretty heartwrenching one in Fruits Basket. When Hatori told Akito that he wanted to marry Kana, Akito freaked out so badly that he blinded Hatori in one eye. Kana was so distraught over this that Hatori had to erase her memories of their relationship. | |
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Sam the Lion and his "young lady" in The Last Picture Show. | |
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Surprisingly, Belle is this for Rumplestiltskin in Once Upon a Time. It tortures the latter even in their new lives. They eventually start a relationship in season 2. | |
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In the epilogue of The Quintessential Quintuplets, Fuutarou ultimately marries Yotsuba, but the rest of the quintuplets still hold a torch for him, with the quintuplet hold her torch tightly being Nino. It gets to the point they all invite themselves to the honeymoon to stay together. | |
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Lene Marlin's "Another Day" is about lost love. | |
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In a twisted example that brings to mind both examples in the page quote, Emeli of the Ciaphas Cain series invokes this trope. As a devout follower of Slaanesh, she takes it as a personal insult when Cain is able to resist her seductions. She redoubles her efforts the next couple of times they meet, though her priority gradually shifts more towards simply wanting him dead as he continues to thwart her. | |
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Ted and Victoria in How I Met Your Mother. They became as a couple twice but ultimately they couldn't be together as the latter wanted the former to cut ties (cease being friends) with Robin (the person Ted left her for in their first time as a couple), which he couldn't. A large part of Ted's Character Development in the later seasons comes from him realizing that Robin was NOT this trope. They were two people strongly committed to their priorities and their priorities were incompatible. Ted wanted to settle down and have kids while Robin wanted to travel and had absolutely no interest in being a mother. If they tried to make the relationship work, one or both would have to sacrifice their dreams and they would just make each other miserable. The series finale shows that ten years later, with their dreams fulfilled, their priorities have shifted enough that they now have a chance for a lasting relationship. |
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Friends Monica and Richard. They were deliriously in love, despite their May–December Romance. After a string of unextraordinary slacker boyfriends, Richard opened her world to passion and maturity. However, their love story ended sadly when they started talking about their future. Monica wanted to have children of her own; Richard already had children and didn’t want anymore. They both tried to give up their dream, but ultimately realized they couldn’t follow through. For Richard, the romance is Type 2, as it’s revealed that he’s never really gotten over Monica, as just seeing her makes him feel hopeless, and years later, Richard returns and asks for her back. But for Monica, their past is Type 1, as she has already moved on from him and is in a fulfilling, mature relationship, something that her romance with Richard motivated her to find. Phoebe and David. They had a real connection on the show, but he was set to do a study of subatomic particles in Minsk, and Phoebe lets him go to pursue his career. Years later, when he returns, he tries to rekindle the spark, but she has long since moved on with Mike. |
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Citizen Kane: | |
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High Fidelity: Mac was clearly the ex who Rob misses the most (they even were engaged). He feels the same. | |
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Nadia in the American Pie films is this to Jim early in the franchise. After blowing his chances with her in the first film, she gets sent back home when her sponsors see the video footage. They are still in contact after, though, and Jim's dad even refers to her by the trope name in the second film. However, in the second film, he eventually rejects her, realising that he loves Michelle. Reunion implies that, even years later, Jim might even be this trope to Nadia. | |
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In the Justice League Unlimited episode "Epilogue" (the Fully Absorbed Finale for Batman Beyond), Selina is given a nod as being this for Bruce. | |
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