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The Triple

 The Triple
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The Triple
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In comedy, two normal items followed by a non sequitur or humorous third item. The classic example is "Can I get you anything? Cup of coffee? Doughnut? Toupee?" from The Dick Van Dyke Show, to the point where a bumper running on Nick at Nite specifically explained the structure of the joke.
Not to be confused with My Friends... and Zoidberg, where the things listed are one or more categories, and the non sequitur is an insult to a listener who ostensibly fits one of the categories.
Informed by the Rule of Three (two items set up a pattern, and then the third breaks it, subverting expectations and registering as funny). It helps that these things tend to be rapid-fire so that viewers have just barely noticed the pattern before the punchline hits.
Sub-tropes
Arson, Murder, and Admiration
Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking
Arson, Murder, and Lifesaving
Bread, Eggs, Breaded Eggs
Bread, Eggs, Milk, Squick
Clue, Evidence, and a Smoking Gun
Famous, Famous, Fictional
The Three Certainties in Life
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2024-03-08T06:15:56Z
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Rivals Direct (Web Video)
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The Rise of Skywalker has a case where the change is not in the wording, but the delivery.
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In The Addams Family, Morticia is clearing out a closet and finds three bags. In bag #1, "Uncle Knick-knack's Winter Wardrobe". In bag #2, "Uncle Knick-knack's Summer Wardrobe". In bag #3, "Uncle Knick-knack."
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In TaleSpin, Shere Khan questions his employees as to how they're investing their budgets. The first two suggest petroleum and electronics...and then the third one is glow-in-the-dark sunglasses.
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Angel: "The Girl in Question"
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In Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle: "Go on inside, boys, and make yourselves at home. You can rest up, get something to drink, fuck my wife, whatever you want. Just don't do anything the good lord wouldn't do."
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The Bible: The Complete Word of God (abridged) explains that the Letters basically teach three things: "Love the Lord thy God"; "Love thy neighbor as thyself"; and "Women: you're responsible for the downfall of mankind, so shut up and obey your husbands."
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 The Bible: The Complete Word of God (abridged) (Theatre)
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Played with on The Simpsons, after Krusty gets fired:
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Miss Congeniality: "By the way, what are you planning to do for your talent: sing, dance, chew with your mouth closed?"
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In Eureka, Dr. Boyle lists off his grandmother's missing heirlooms after the bank is stolen. She had a gold wedding ring, a pearl necklace, some antimatter...
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Castle:
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Darkwing Duck: A more serious example occurs in "Star-Crossed Circuits"; when Launchpad tells Darkwing he doesn't think he's any use to him with the D-2000 around, Darkwing takes exception. Launchpad asks for a example, and Darkwing brings up the Thunderquack and lifting heavy boxes (before remembering that the D-2000 can do that as well). His last suggestion is singing show tunes — but he immediately shuts Launchpad down when he actually tries to perform them.
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In her book, Eats, Shoots & Leaves, Lynne Truss remarks that, if people went about saying "Elizabeth'r Reign," instead of "Elizabeth Her Reign," there would be "...the regrettable result of making people sound a) a bit stupid, b) a bit drunk, or c) a bit from the West Country." (39)
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In Beauty and the Beast, the Beast asks his servants what he can give Belle. Cogsworth immediately pipes up with the standard romantic gestures: "Flowers, chocolates, promises you don't intend to keep..." (Fun fact, this line was improvised by David Ogden Stiers).
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In an episode of Excel♡Saga, Il Palazzo is playing a dating sim, and the third option is always "put it in". Excel is later seen playing the same game.
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Young Frankenstein:
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Animaniacs:
Coffee? Tea? Monster? And yes, Dot did have a monster on hand for that purpose, and someone did ask for it.
In "Sir Yaksalot": "Candy? Gum? Dynamite?"
The Power Trio of the Warner Siblings are pretty much designed to deliver this kind of punchline. For example, in "The Taming of the Screwy" when they're excited about getting to meet famous actors:
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¡Mucha Lucha! has the principles that Masked Wrestling is founded upon: Honor, Family, Tradition and Donuts.
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 Â¡Mucha Lucha!
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A non-verbal version happens in Kung Fu Panda. Tai Lung is breaking out of Chorh-Gom Prison, only to be confronted by Commander Vachir and his thousand rhino soldiers. A messenger duck called Zeng is also present, clutched in Vachir's fist to stop him flying away. Vachir sees Tai Lung and growls. Tai Lung growls in reply. Zeng just squeaks in terror.
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Stupid Kids: Bazsi wants to go inside the kitchen but Boti builds a border there and asks for an ID card, a passport and a red rubber ball from him in Ahol a méreg sem segít (Where even poison does not help).
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The Order of the Stick:
In #709, Tsukiko complains about how Paladins forbid things left and right: "Don't walk on the grass, don't litter, don't rape the cycle of life with your unclean power."
Also, #20: "Fireball!" "Arrrgh!" "Lightning Bolt!" "Arrrgh!" "Evan's Spiked Tentacles of Forced Intrusion!" "Wait, what? —AAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHH!!!"
Start of Darkness has the Unholy Master ready to choose his new second-in-command:
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The X-Files: Fight the Future: When Scully got Mulder big time, it was Mulder's turn to buy them something to drink:
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Red Dwarf has an example similar to the Star Trek ones, where Rimmer lists some of the classical musicians as Mozart, Mendelssohn, and Motörhead.
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"The History of every major Galactic Civilization tends to pass through three distinct and recognizable phases, those of Survival, Inquiry and Sophistication, otherwise known as the How, Why, and Where phases. For instance, the first phase is characterized by the question 'How can we eat?' the second by the question 'Why do we eat?' and the third by the question 'Where shall we have lunch?" - The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
This may qualify as a meta-Triple, composed of two straight Rules of Three followed by a Triple.
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From Scott The Woz's deep dive of Super Smash Bros. 64:
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In the American Dad! episode "Red October Sky", when Stan is looking for a former KGB agent, his guesses to where he might be are Cuba, China, and back in time to kill Betsy Ross.
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As seen in the page quote, Avengers: Infinity War has Drax tack on "Why is Gamora?!" after hearing "Where" and "Who" being asked — which the actor apparently improvised on-set.
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In Milo Murphy's Law, when the main character is described as "whatever the opposite of a rabbit's foot is":
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In Unseen Academicals, Glenda realizes she's fed up with the romance novels she's been reading because they're so boring and formulaic: "It's absolutely guaranteed that, for example, an exciting civil war or an invasion by trolls or even a scene with any cooking in it is not going to happen."
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In The Lazer Collection 3 a gritty new detective comments that a detail of the case he was assigned is, quote, odd. This launches his senior officer into a mini-rant.
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Done all the time by the Voiceover Guy for the introduction of the 1990's The X-Files spoof, The X Fools.
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Aaahh!!! Real Monsters: In "The Ickis Box", The Gromble scolds Ickis for getting distracted by human TV programs during a scare at an electronics store.
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Dead Ringers: Andrew Neil lists the guests on his show, which inevitably are two bizarre things - e.g. Davros, creator of the Daleks, a jellyfish with an arts degree - AND DIANNE ABBOT!
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National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation:
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The Nutty Professor (the Eddie Murphy one): "Anything I can get for you? Juice? Coffee? Rack of lamb?"
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 The Nutty Professor (1996)
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What If?: The first image of "Free Fall" labels the parts of Mount Thor with "East Slope", "Summit", and "AAAAAAAAAAAAA" (pointing at the sheer cliff).
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In the Seinfeld episode "The Puerto Rican Day," Kramer, in his Mock Millionaire identity as "H.E. Pennypacker," introduces himself as a "wealthy industrialist and philanthropist and uh...bicyclist."
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The Palaververse: From the first chapter of Wedding March, the three names of "a great and mountainous formation of ridges and river-carved canyons", when ends on a much less threatening note:
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Our Miss Brooks has one rapid-fire breakfast exchange with her landlady:
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An understated version takes place in The Lord of the Rings in the three main recipients of Aragorn's healing touch following the Battle of Pelenor Fields. Faramir the Steward of Gondor wakes with the words, "My lord, you called me. I come." Eowyn the Shieldmaiden of Rohan awakens with, "Eomer! What joy is this?" And Merry the Hobbit wakes with, "I'm hungry. What's the time?"
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Star Trek:
In its various incarnations, the shows have a tendency to do this when a character is comparing someone to great artists, scientists, explorers or whatever: they will list two ones from our past and an unfamiliar third, often sounding like that of an alien. Alternately, two historical people and one contemporary. (Granted, this person may well be considered historical by their standards.) An example is when listing blind poets and going with "Homer, Dante, Wonder."
Star Trek: The Next Generation. Amanda Rogers, an intern on Enterprise, has superpowers and Q is sent to investigate.
In "The Arsenal of Freedom", the crew speculate on what might have caused the Arms Dealers populating Minos to disappear:
Star Trek: Voyager. Voyager's EMH is examining Dr. Zimmerman.
In "Barge of the Dead" the crew have organised some Klingon celebrations. The EMH encourages Seven of Nine to get into the spirit of things.
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Working Girl: "Coffee? Tea? Me?"note The line is from a 1967 book. In fact, it's the title. (Well, Coffee, Tea, or Me?)
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30 Rock:
A subtle one from Tracy: (The boat in question is not metaphorical.)
Liz has a habit of doing these. Lampshaded when she lists some of her good qualities, and the third item is, "I always think of a third thing when I'm listing stuff."
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In one episode of American Dragon: Jake Long, when Spud and Trixie are looking over Lao Shi's store while he and Jake are away, Fu Dog tells them not to touch anything, not to open any drawers, and if a big toothless guy named Morty showed up saying "Where's the money?", they were to tell him Fu had moved to Machu Picchu.
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The Professionals. In this case though the 'funny' one is actually the second example.
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The song "I Believe" in The Book of Mormon is built around this structure, but interestingly the third item isn't even a joke, technically, but rather a real Mormon belief that just sounds really bizarre out of context.
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Freeman's Mind has an episode where he yells to a vortigaunt alien:
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The intro cinematic of DeathSpank promises "a tale of blood, and steel, and bacon!"
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Rugrats:
In one episode, Angelica has a list of things she needs before she can examine Chucky.
The episode "Grandpa's Date" has this well-known example when Grandpa is babysitting Tommy and Chuckie.
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Don't Hug Me I'm Scared: During the intro song in "Friends":
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BoBoiBoy: Papa Zola gives three rules for the football game between BoBoiBoy's team and Fang's: don't play dirty, don't use superpower during the game, and don't toy with a man's feelings ("If you don't love him, then don't act like you love him").
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In Buzz Lightyear of Star Command, Buzz is thrown into the far future (it's actually a trick) and sees what became of his team:
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In Ice Age, Manny to Sid: "Is there no one else that you can annoy? Friends? Family? Poisonous Reptiles?"
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The Fairly OddParents! episode in which Mr. Crocker first appeared has this:
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Portal 2:
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Bicentennial Man: When Andrew asks Sir to teach him how to tell a joke, he tries "two drinks walk into a bar", he tries a "Knock Knock" Joke, and then a Chicken Joke. He's only to say the punchline for the last one, but Andrew (being a Literal-Minded Robot Butler) still doesn't get it.
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Arfenhouse Teh Movie Too:
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Batwoman (2019). Played seriously in "Drink Me". The Villain of the Week injects Batwoman with a drug to immobilize her so she can be captured by the responding Crows Security agents.
And in the following episode when Sophie starts Dating Batwoman.
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Game of Thrones. Jaime Lannister is shamelessly trolling the huge female knight who's holding him captive. "Have you known many men? Women? Horses?"
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Adele Hasn't Had Her Dinner Yet: Countess Thun's favourite reading? Dante, Goethe, and Nick Carter's stories.note Nick Carter is a Great Detective Famed In-Story who is a real investigator, but there are also pulp magazines and books about his real solved cases.
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"In those days... men were real men, women were real women, and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri." - The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
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Dracula 2000. Jeri Ryan is playing a news reporter.
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Young Justice (2010). Beast Boy demands proof that Impulse comes from the future.
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Impractical Jokers: In the episode "Brother of the Sisterhood", in response to the question "What are your three biggest fears?" Joe is told to answer "Heights, being locked in a room with a man suffering from gigantism while a bomb slowly and inevitably ticks, and spiders".
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Zombieland: Double Tap has one featuring the same sentence: something besides the main characters' car makes Columbus go "You Have GOT to Be Kidding Me!", Wichita says the same... and then the camera shows another car, whose driver, Madison (who they thought had died) gleefully says "You've got to be kidding me!" And then it turns into a Quadruple, as Tallahassee goes "You've gotta be fucking kidding me!"
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In Stargate Universe, when Volker needs a kidney transplant:
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In Two and a Half Men, this is how others react to the news that Jake heard Judith and Herb having sex through his bedroom wall.
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Judge Dredd: One story where the title character is chasing after Count Dracula sees the infamous vampire run into a Hall of Horrors tourist museum, prompting the following exchange between Dredd and an employee at the exhibit.
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My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic: In "Dragonshy", Rainbow Dash gets tired of her friends' failed attempts to gently convince a napping dragon to move further from Ponyville.
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Blake's 7. One of the many quotable comments of snarky Anti-Hero Avon.
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Horatio Hornblower: In episode "Mutiny", Captain Sawyer has an interesting variation on the motto of the French revolution:
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Used frequently on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, as when they were discussing the debut of Inspire, a glossy magazine especially for jihadi terrorists.
A more conventional Rule of Three followed:
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Cotton McKnight, the announcer from DodgeBall: A True Underdog Story is rather prone to these.
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In The Avengers Tony Stark asks Bruce Banner how he stays calm.
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Some episodes of Roger Ramjet do this during the fight scenes where all that is flashed on screen are sound effect words like "Bam," "Pow" and "Ouch." In one episode the word "indigestion" turns up.
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According to the protagonist of Monster Hunter Alpha, badass Russians only have three emotions: revenge, depression, and vodka.
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Happy Endings frequently features this:
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Family Guy: In "Holy Crap", after Peter tells Lois that his father Francis, who he just got made president of the factory he works at, is turning the break room into a chapel:
 The Triple / int_ea4f62db
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From Crimson Dark, Chapter 01: Page 22. Kari takes control of the Niobe's guns as the enemy closes in. Doubles as a Pre-Mortem One-Liner.
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Star Trek: Voyager. Voyager's EMH is examining Dr. Zimmerman.
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A Fairly Odd Movie: Grow Up, Timmy Turner!: The live-action film has Timmy's parents attempting to offer gifts to Tootie when they try to marry their son off to her:
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Burn Notice's pilot features this line when Mike and Fiona are hashing out why they broke up the last time.
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Friends did a variation on this. When Rachel's pregnancy became a plot point at the beginning of season eight, Phoebe tries to figure out who the father is. When she invites the (wrong) man to the coffee house and it's revealed that, no, Tag is not the father, Phoebe is understandably embarrassed.
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The Wrong Reflection: When Dalin Bastra advises Gul Morag that they could just take Eleya's data on defeating the Terran Empire's Klingon-derived cloaking devices by force, Eleya pulls one of these.
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In the finale of Gravity Falls, Dipper and Mabel rally the townspeople with a rousing speech where they claim that they can win if they combine all of their strengths, their smarts, and...whatever it is Toby Determined has.
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Sunday in the Park with George, "Color And Light":
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Star Trek: The Next Generation. Amanda Rogers, an intern on Enterprise, has superpowers and Q is sent to investigate.
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The following is a list of statements referring to the current page from other pages.

 The Triple
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The Triple
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