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The Unfair Sex
- 188 statements
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A special kind of Double Standard that completely screws around with a show's internal logic. A male character is portrayed performing an act that seems evil and unfair in a relationship, like say, looking at another woman. Meanwhile, a female character can perpetuate the exact same actions but not receive any sort of negative consequences for it. As such, the end result is usually both that male sexuality (and the expressions thereof) are presented as inherently "wrong", "dirty" and "ugly", and that any problems that arise in a heterosexual relationship are automatically the man's fault. This most commonly appears in long-running series. Shorter works rarely deal with the characters long enough for the disconnect to be very obvious. This is also highly abstract in execution. Expect the target of the discontent to be a guy or girl of the week. For a look at affairs in general, see Good Adultery, Bad Adultery. (Interestingly, the more involved named characters a work has in any given adultery plot, the closer to 1:1 the Sympathetic Adulterer ratio between men and women reaches.) I'm a Man; I Can't Help It overrides this trope. The Inverted Trope of My Girl Is Not a Slut, for the post-Women's Lib era. Contrast Blame the Paramour, where the "other woman" is blamed even if innocent. Overlaps with Females Are More Innocent, Women Are Wiser, The Mistress, and Never My Fault. Note: this only relates to the double standard against men in relationships. If anything relates to abuse, please see Double Standard: Abuse, Female on Male. Furthermore, no real life examples, please. |
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Tales of Legendia does this with its main plot between Senel and Shirley. Senel is clearly holding a torch for Shirley's older sister, Stella, despite the fact that Stella is long dead. When Shirley tries to tell Senel that she loves him, Senel rejects her, saying he has to "stay with Stella." This makes Shirley finally accept her role as an Apocalypse Maiden called the Merines, who will flood the entire planet in seawater and kill every humanoid that isn't a Ferines, who can breathe underwater. The majority of the Playable Characters say that Senel is the one who screwed up, and treats Shirley sympathetically, even if they do tacitly acknowledge that she's overreacting. Sure, Senel is being rather stubborn himself in still latching onto someone who died a long time ago, but Shirley gets woobiefied with the party going out of their way to avoid having to kill her, while Senel is consistently berated for his rejection. | |
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One occurrence pops up during the wedding arc of Better Days. Both the bachelor party and the bachelorette party hire strippers. When the girls find out, they are outraged and treat it essentially as the groom "cheating" on the bride. They don't see anything wrong or hypocritical about their own party choices since they're convinced that all male strippers are gay. (Exactly how does that justify lusting after them?) Eventually one of the male strippers calls everyone out on their stupidity, explain the facts and force them to make peace. | |
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X-Men: Cyclops cheats on his wife Jean Grey with Emma Frost in his mind (though that was actually Emma telepathically messing with his mind) and he's seen as a cruel cheater. But nobody mentions that earlier, Jean had lusted for and even made out with Wolverine, as well as previously lusting after Gambit and Fantomex. In fact, prior to finding out about the 'affair', she actually propositions Wolverine, only for him to turn her down out of loyalty to Cyclops (ironically, after years of trying to get her out of her pants with no respect for Cyke's feelings in the matter). Years earlier at the beginning of The Dark Phoenix Saga, Jean is subjected to similar manipulation at the hands of Mastermind (Jason Wyngarde) and is seen as a completely innocent victim. Scott wasn't so lucky. Mastermind, in that case, was treated with the same scorn a rapist would get and Jean treats him to a Fate Worse than Death for his manipulations. Here, Emma is not only forgiven by both Jean and Cyclops, but Jean actually encourages Scott to date her as she dies, using telepathy to basically Mind Rape him past the stages of grief. In the end, Jean is dead and as such immune to criticism, Emma is dating Cyclops, and Cyclops is left hated by a big portion of the fanbase and the X-Men in-universe, including his daughter. Then, of course, there's Cyclops' 'jealousy issues'. Whenever Wolverine was putting the moves on Jean, Cyclops would warn him to stay away and Jean would call him out for being so petty and jealous. One time this was flipped, with Psylocke trying to do the same to Cyclops, Jean also got jealous, but didn't get treated as an obsessive yandere the same way Cyclops does. Though, it was, at least, inverted with the lusters: Psylocke later apologized to Jean, explaining her actions as a result of still recovering from being merged with a psychic assassin. |
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The Crosses-Boy's Counselor: When Dover and Sitara are discussing the circumstances that led to his divorcing his wife Keisha, Dover takes offense at what he sees as Sitara's suggestion that he had a part to play in the breakdown of the marriage. In his eyes, it is sexist and biased to suggest that when a wife cheats, it's somehow the husband's fault. | |
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Subverted in Last Night at Chateau Marmont by Lauren Weisberger: throughout the novel, as Brooke and Julian's marriage falls apart, Brooke seems to constantly put the blame on how much Julian's career takes him away from home and otherwise causes him to neglect her. All while she insists on putting her career first by continuing to work sixty hours a week at two jobs, income from which they don't need anymore now that Julian's first album has gone platinum within its first week out. The subversion comes from the fact that she admits as much at the end when they reconcile, acknowledging that she's guilty of the same thing. | |
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Years earlier at the beginning of The Dark Phoenix Saga, Jean is subjected to similar manipulation at the hands of Mastermind (Jason Wyngarde) and is seen as a completely innocent victim. Scott wasn't so lucky. Mastermind, in that case, was treated with the same scorn a rapist would get and Jean treats him to a Fate Worse than Death for his manipulations. Here, Emma is not only forgiven by both Jean and Cyclops, but Jean actually encourages Scott to date her as she dies, using telepathy to basically Mind Rape him past the stages of grief. In the end, Jean is dead and as such immune to criticism, Emma is dating Cyclops, and Cyclops is left hated by a big portion of the fanbase and the X-Men in-universe, including his daughter. | |
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Subverted in Doonesbury, when JJ left Mike for scruffy bad boy Zeke, she was portrayed the entire time as a fool for doing so, for both her reasoning (she felt she had to "seize the moment" to achieve happiness) and for her taste (Zeke has never been portrayed as other than a dumb slacker). On the other hand, played pretty darn straight by Joanie, JJ's mother, who (back in the 1970s) breaks her husband's nose, abandons her kid and is lauded as a liberated woman. | |
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Cyclops cheats on his wife Jean Grey with Emma Frost in his mind (though that was actually Emma telepathically messing with his mind) and he's seen as a cruel cheater. But nobody mentions that earlier, Jean had lusted for and even made out with Wolverine, as well as previously lusting after Gambit and Fantomex. In fact, prior to finding out about the 'affair', she actually propositions Wolverine, only for him to turn her down out of loyalty to Cyclops (ironically, after years of trying to get her out of her pants with no respect for Cyke's feelings in the matter). | |
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Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince: In-universe, there's a mild case of this: girls can go into the boys' bedroom without problem, but there's a charm on the stairs to the girls' bedroom that turns it into a slide if a boy tries to enter. Hermione Handwaves the rule as being old fashioned, though she doesn't seem nearly as incensed by the Double Standard as she does about, say, House Elf Equal Rights. | |
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In Spider-Man (PS4), Mary Jane gives Peter the cold shoulder for daring to date Black Cat after the breakup she initiated, before admitting that she had no right to be as she dated several guys in the interim herself, with it all being Played for Laughs. Before that, she spent the entirety of the game holding Peter responsible for their breakup before they reconciled, when it was her own Going for the Big Scoop tendencies and refusal to listen to reason that caused it in the first place. | |
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Green Lantern: Writer Geoff Johns reinvented the Green Lantern Corps so that now there are seven Corps, each representing a different emotion. The Violet Corps represents love. All of its members are female. It's especially notable because every single other corps are fully integrated regardless of race or gender. When asked why, Johns just said, "most men are not worthy". Let's hope he meant that the all-female Zamaronsnote Who made the Star Sapphires, similar to how the all-male Oans made the Green Lantern rings didn't consider men worthy. Since the Sapphires run on every kind of love, people like crazy stalkers can (and one was possessed by Predator, the embodiment of love) become sort of Sapphires, if not official members. Considering Guy Gardner, of all people, has worn a Sapphire ring it would seem that it's more a prerogative of the Zamarons than the rings. Other male wearers include Krona with his Guardian "hack" of the corps' rings and Kyle, thanks to Said doing the same in his favor. That the latter of these two has fully learned to harness love like any female Star Sapphire only illustrates the arbitrariness of this recruitment policy. To further enforce the trope, the Predator, the stalker entity is male. The only male being associated with the violet light is a stalker. The stalker tendencies of the female Star Sapphires are justified with the retcon that Star Sapphire power source had a design flaw that overwhelmed the psyche of the bearer. Another is that the closer you are to the edge of the Emotional Spectrum, the more said emotion drives or even overwhelms the person. As such, the Violet Corps of Love are driven pretty nuts by love (in the same way the Red Corps are driven insane by anger.) |
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Discussed in, of all places, Dragon Ball Fighter Z: | |
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Dragon Age: Origins (specifically, Leliana's romance) plays this for laughs. | |
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Justified in A Brother's Price: Men are expected to remain chaste until marriage, while women having homosexual relationships before marriage is seen as no big deal. Considering the fact that this is all due to fear of STDs, and heterosexual sex is much more likely to transmit diseases than lesbian sex, this makes sense. (As men have Gender Rarity Value, male homosexuality is never mentioned, so it is not known what people think about it.) | |
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Dragon Age: Origins – Awakening unfortunately plays this straight. One side quest features a dying Grey Warden, Keenan, who asks the player to deliver a message and his wedding ring to his wife, Nida. When you find her it’s revealed Nida's having an affair with another man. She justifies herself by saying that she never wanted her husband to be a Grey Warden and that “love can only take you so far,� while the game provides no option for the player to call her out on her infidelity. She always gets the last word in. It's as if the game automatically assumes the player sympathizes with the adulterous wife rather than her dying husband who, with his last breath, wanted to give her closure. | |
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Something*Positive features this fairly often, but it's spelled out best here. | |
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Ninja High School: The comic has a character named Sammi, a Chinese food delivery female forced to dress like a male due to the stupidity of her father making a bet with his friends to have a son (it's a long story), a secret only a few close friends of Sammi's know about. In one of the stories, she runs afoul of the local cheerleaders who are very feminist and one of the girls takes a liking to Sammi (again due to looking like a boy). Sammi tries to let the girl down gently that she isn't interested. But this only offends her friends since they think Sammi figures she's not good enough, to the point they nearly kill Sammi over it. Said girl isn't a saint either, practically trying to force Sammi to be her boyfriend. In the end, when Sammi finally reveals her secret to the girl, said girl gets angry (for her VERY psychotic mistake) and hits Sammi with a mallet for the embarrassment. Granted its played for laughs but their unreasonable mentally through the whole thing was completely deplorable and the fact they only backed off just because Sammi was a girl only made it worse. | |
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In Mass Effect 3 if previously romanced, male Shepard calls out Ashley on this attitude, noting that if he chose to romance someone else in the second game, it was only because Ashley made her feelings abundantly clear on Horizon that they were over. | |
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Pendragon: In the later time periods, the concept of courtly love arises, which considers this not just normal but desirable behaviour. A lady should make outrageous demands of her suitor and expect him to carry them out with no reward but the faintest expressions of favour, because how else is he going to prove how absolute his love for her is? However, Queen Guenever might take this a little too far even by those standards, especially since she's frequently jealous of any attention Lancelot pays to other women while of course she herself is Happily Married the whole time she's sleeping with Lancelot on the side. The Great Pendragon Campaign sums up their relationship the best: |
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In Dreamgirls, Lorrell has an affair with Jimmy Early, who's married. Throughout the entire play/movie, he is made out to be a total sleaze for treating her badly and sleeping with two (possibly more) women at the same time. However, Lorrell is shown in a strictly sympathetic light, despite the fact that she's knowingly and willfully engaging in a long-term affair with a married man. | |
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Dragon Quest IV: The Queen of Femiscyra/Gardenbur insists on referring to the thief of the bronze rosary as "him", since she can't conceive the possibility that the hypotetical criminal may be female. | |
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In Questionable Content, this is one of the main problems with Dora and Marten's relationship. She repeatedly accuses him of attempting infidelity, at one point giving him the third degree because he intentionally didn't mention that a girl had asked him out - despite that he immediately turned the girl down, and despite that Dora's workplace routinely has to deal with customers asking the staff out and she doesn't think that is mention-worthy. She also blows up on him for getting a haircut without consulting her on it, but when she gets one and he says he preferred her old look, she dismisses him. She also goes digging through his porn folder just to sate her curiosity when he explicitly asks her not to, yet expects him to respect her own boundaries. However, she has been called out on this behavior, repeatedly and the last example is the catalyst for their relationship's to breakdown; Marten, not unreasonably, flips his shit when he discovers her violating his privacy, and when they break up Dora is informed in no uncertain terms that she ruined a good thing for stupid reasons and needs help. | |
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In The House of Night series, Zoey initially was slightly hesitant about having a relationship with Erik because he had previously dated Aphrodite. This is after (A) she walked in on Aphrodite all but raping Erik (trying to force a blowjob on him while he repeatedly asked her to stop) and (B) it was made pretty obvious that Aphrodite and her friends made use of Erik and other boys in such a way. Zoey does hook up with Erik...and dives into a relationship with a teacher at the school while rekindling a relationship with her human boyfriend. At the end of Chosen, we're apparently supposed to think Erik's such a mean guy for not being so kind and understanding that Zoey had sex with said teacher and just had "We share a bond" as an excuse. | |
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In one of the Warhammer books about Malus Darkblade (Bloodstorm, to be precise), Malus mentioned in passing that a druchii woman could have as many lovers as she wished, while a male druchii was expected to be faithful. This example is especially notable due to the context - Malus's half-sister had discovered that her lover, Bruglir, was cheating on her. She got so angry that she literally became a living saint of the god of murder himself - and the first two times she appears, she was in the middle of her harem and having an orgy, respectively. Psychologically justified in that the overlord of the Druchii is the Witch King Malekith, who has a major Oedipus complex with his mother Morathi, who used to head up the largest Slaaneshi cult in the elf world. Malekith was born, and reached prominence, by his mother screwing the king of the elves. In short, the entire kingdom of Nagaroth is built on the back of matriarchy, or rather the matriarch's penchant for being on her back. Other instances include only females are allowed to use magic, baby boys are rounded up for mass sacrifice one night a year, with the few survivors becoming assassins who are by game mechanic unable to lead their female counterparts. Strange how the evil elf races are always this trope in spades. | |
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Utawarerumono: In the first game, Sopok tends to take this view. Eruruu, too, to a lesser extent. Karulau forcing herself on Hakuowlo under threat of injury? That's totally his fault. And as Eruruu is the lead heroine as is treated sympathetically in this regard and Sopok's "men are things to be tamed and girls need to be catered to" attitude is treated as a voice of wisdom, you can kinda say that the work, in general, takes this view. The second game, Mask of Deception takes this much further, where anything and everything even slightly bad that happens is Haku's fault and he is physically punished for it, regardless of his level of involvement in it. There's even one scene where an overexcited Kuon strips and jumps in the bath in front of him (knowing full well he was there), and then has the gall to beat him senseless for... being present when she unexpectedly disrobed? And every time, the other characters just laugh about it. |
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The second game, Mask of Deception takes this much further, where anything and everything even slightly bad that happens is Haku's fault and he is physically punished for it, regardless of his level of involvement in it. There's even one scene where an overexcited Kuon strips and jumps in the bath in front of him (knowing full well he was there), and then has the gall to beat him senseless for... being present when she unexpectedly disrobed? And every time, the other characters just laugh about it. | |
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In one of The Princess Diaries books, Mia's friend Tina is dumped by text message by her boyfriend after she fails to return his calls, leading to her friends calling him a sexist pig. Granted, he broke up with her in an obnoxious way, but nobody calls her out for being rude enough to ignore his phone calls. She is indirectly called out to this, as Mia's mother says during a conversation that it is just plain rude to not return somebody's calls. | |
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The Anita Blake series practically runs on this trope after Narcissus in Chains. The main character has about 8 official lovers and sleeps with many other men during the course of each book, yet, except Richard who's treated as the resident Jerkass, none of her main lovers are allowed to even look at another person, and she has dumped some lovers for being unfaithful. The author tries to justify with Magical Addiction to sex. | |
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Dragon Age II plays it far more straightforward with a side quest involving a man whose wife has left him. Not only was she unfaithful, but she also was apparently quite open about it and throwing it in her husband's face. While the husband is definitely a complete jerk, there's absolutely no option to at least acknowledge that what the woman was doing was wrong... every dialogue option involves shaming, scolding, or mocking him. Though on the other hand, he's not very broken up about her death, being much more concerned with his social status. If you try to give him her wedding ring, he nervously says that perhaps you should keep it, as it could make things awkward for him. | |
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In Fire Emblem: Awakening, if you pair Chrom with a female avatar, in their B Support he walks in on her naked. It's his fault. In their A Support, she walks in on him naked. It's still his fault. To be fair, though, she does apologize and admit she was wrong to freak out at him afterwards. | |
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Monica's Gang: Where to begin? No matter the circunstances, the boys are never able to properly get back at Monica for the constant abuse she puts them through, with Jimmy Five being the most common victim. And this even extends when Monica meets with her weekly Love Interest: She'll interact with them, the boy will reveal that they don't reciprocate the feelings, she gets angry and beats the ever loving crap out of them, even with their reasoning being that they find her too aggressive. And this pretty much can extend with all of the girls in the cast in their worst days. | |
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In the 24/7 mode of Smackdown vs Raw 2008, you are given the opportunity to spend the night with a member of the female roster who is already in a relationship. Even if you choose not to, you are lambasted throughout this particular portion of the game as a homewrecker. The female in question, however, is not criticised at all for her actions and even takes the time to say that you deserve your punishment for saying no to her. note Though towards the end of the segment, she does apologize for all the trouble she put you through and state that it isn't what she wanted. | |
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Then, of course, there's Cyclops' 'jealousy issues'. Whenever Wolverine was putting the moves on Jean, Cyclops would warn him to stay away and Jean would call him out for being so petty and jealous. One time this was flipped, with Psylocke trying to do the same to Cyclops, Jean also got jealous, but didn't get treated as an obsessive yandere the same way Cyclops does. Though, it was, at least, inverted with the lusters: Psylocke later apologized to Jean, explaining her actions as a result of still recovering from being merged with a psychic assassin. | |
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