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This Page Will Self-Destruct
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Standard spy trope. After a spy receives a message, the last words state that whatever device the spy received the message on will self-destruct. Cue the agent stepping back as the device goes up in smoke and a shower of sparks. Can be Played for Laughs when the message is a simple letter or another object that logically shouldn't be capable of self-destructing. Upon reading/hearing the last line, the spy drops the paper, which bursts into flames or blows up. This is true to some degree, as secret messages are often designed to be destroyed without a trace, though none of them use elaborate self-destruction for such purpose — usually, they depend on the message-receiver to destroy them, because they might need to look or listen more than once; being a spy doesn't automatically give you a Photographic Memory. Their disposal methods usually aren't so spectacular, as Stuff Blowing Up tends to attract attention, something good spies despise. Often part of a Mission Briefing. Has absolutely nothing to do with Flame Bait or any other inspiration for the Rule of Cautious Editing Judgment. See also: Booby Trap ***BEEP BEEP BEEP*** |
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Spoofed on The Penguins of Madagascar. "This recording will self-destruct... right now!", and then Rico appears out of nowhere and bashes the recorder with a baseball bat. | |
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Danny Gonzalez: Parodied in a Vine, where everything the spy has self-destructs randomly, including food and a baby. | |
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Darth Vader: Dark Lord of the Sith. A strange droid warns the wife of Galen Erso about the true nature of the Death Star project, melting down the second the message is delivered. Since Vader has used self-destructing droids before, it's implied he sent the robot messenger to sabotage the Death Star project, as he didn't like giving up his role as The Dreaded for Tarkin's technological terror. | |
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In an anime episode of Ranma ½ loosely inspired by Mission: Impossible, Sasuke discusses his missions with Kuno on a payphone under a bridge. Everytime he ends the call the phone soon blows up but he never learns to get away from it. | |
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One Sheep in the Big City episode had Lady Richington call General Specific on her cellphone only for a recorded message by him tell her that he won't appear in the episode; then his recording says that this message will self destruct, to which Lady Richington tosses the cellphone off-screen where it explodes. | |
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In Yatterman the Big Bad Dokurobee always sent to his henchmen some little robots, shaped accordingly to that episode's theme, which carried his messages and then self-destructed. This was only the first of many Non-Fatal Explosions happened to the villains throughout every episode. | |
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A Certain Magical Index: Touma saves Index's life but is hospitalized with amnesia in the process. Stiyl asks the doctor to pass Touma a letter, but Index takes it. The letter is Stiyl grudgingly thanking Touma for saving Index, then the final line says the letter destroys itself shortly after being opened, and it crumbles to dust in Index's hands. Later, when Stiyl conscripts Touma for the "Deep Blood" mission, he gives Touma the blueprints for the building and other info, but the papers crumble to dust before he can finish reading them. |
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At one point in Thunderstruck, Aaron Curmen sends a note to Gail, Sharon and the Steel Angels on a thumb drive, detailing his next steps as well as what theirs should probably be. At the end of the message, the drive self-destructs — complete with a (blue) smoke bomb, just for laughs. | |
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On Alias, Sydney must meet up with her evil agent counterpart, as one has the parchment message and the other has the only liquid solution that will make it readable. They meet in a stadium flanked by snipers and both look at the message at the same time, but it starts to dissolve, so both have to read as much as they can and sprint back to their handlers to write it down before they forget. | |
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On Chuck, the mysterious Orion ends a message with this. The CD decomposes in Chuck's computer in a burst of steam. | |
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Spoofed in The Simpsons episode "The Trouble with Trillions", where the FBI agent is informed "This film will self destruct... if not properly stored". The message was hidden in a photo booth where the password is "cheese", so spoofed again when Apu and Manjula walk in seconds later and we learn exactly why this trope exists in the first place. | |
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In the story Valor y... ¡al toro!, the mission's briefing is given in a large gramophone that self-destroys. | |
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Also played half-straight, half for laughs, in the MythBusters Heist Special. The gang gets the tape that self-destructs, and watches it go off. | |
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Horrible Histories: The Mission: Incompetent sketch detailing the Black Hand's assassination of the Archduke Franz Ferdinand ends with their briefing saying "This message—and most of western Europe—will self-destruct in 90 seconds". The assassins sit around the table looking smug until they realize they were receiving their briefing by phone. They hurriedly shove it around the table before it explodes, leaving them with Ash Face. | |
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The season 2 finale of Castle, '"A Deadly Game", features a simulated spy game that involves a secret message delivered by self-destructing pen. | |
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CB Bears. While playing tennis, Undercover Elephant gets a message written on a tennis ball on how to find the required Mission Briefing tape recorder. Written on the back is a message that the ball will self-destruct in four seconds, so he throws it away—naturally another tennis player tries to hit the ball and gets shocked by his 'explosive' serve. Then after playing the tape recorder, the message says this tape will not explode in four seconds... it'll explode in one second! | |
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Rivers of London: In Cry Fox, Ludmila Yakunina is delivered a mobile phone in prison with which she is contacted by her daughter's kidnappers. At the end of the conversation, she is advised to throw the phone away as it's been rigged to self-destruct with acid on command. | |
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In one of the official adventures for Paranoia, the team leader is given self-destructing (specifically, self-dissolving) mission orders. There are just two small problems. One, the mission orders will begin to self-destruct well before the character has time to finish reading. Two, if the character doesn't drop the orders the instant the GM hints at this, he will self-destruct right along with them. Three, the self-destruct isn't instant, and anyone the character touches before succumbing may, at the whim of the GM, join them in dissolving away. | |
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"Howlers" in the Harry Potter universe are magical letters of (usually...) reprimand that scream at you loud enough to rattle cutlery and shake dust from a high-ceilinged room... and when they are done they burst into flames. If not opened, they also burst into flames, and the insults are mangled. Obviously they are very humiliating to get. | |
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In the Israeli TV show M.K. 22, an Arab messenger tells a character something, and then says "This messenger will self destruct in three. Two. One." The guy pushes a button, explodes. | |
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Animaniacs riffs on this once with a self-destructing tape recorder, which as well as the message plays the Mission Impossible theme-for a "Mission Implausible" for which such drama is not really necessary. Wakko then eats the tape recorder, and burps, breaking all windows in the place. | |
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"The Mark of Kane", from the Angels of Music series, is a 19th-century-set Mission: Impossible homage that begins with the protagonists receiving a mission briefing on a phonograph that self-destructs at the end. | |
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Discworld: In Jingo, Sam Vimes receives a self-destructing note. Including an apology from Leonard of Quirm for not having better chemicals to do the job. In Monstrous Regiment, the codebook is edible paper, allowing easy destruction in case of capture... laced with arsenic, so the spy can't be captured either. |
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Mortadelo y Filemón often plays with this trope as part of its Spy Fiction parody, but the methods by which the message is destroyed are usually bizarre. For example, one recorded message states, "This message will be destroyed within five seconds," then proceeds to play a song which one of the main characters apparently hates, causing him to destroy the record (and the player) in a fit of rage. In another, the tape player deploys a pair of legs and walks towards the edge of a table while playing the countdown. When it reaches to zero falls to the ground and it's broken. Other examples: having Mortadelo burn a dynamite stick attached to the note - directly referencing "Mission: Impossible" - or making them eat the note. In the story Valor y... ¡al toro!, the mission's briefing is given in a large gramophone that self-destroys. Hilariously subverted in a short story: |
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The Hair Bear Bunch is recruited to be special agents for Mission: Fantastical (issue #6, May 1973). This happens twice—once in the bears' cave with a recording tape and again in a taxi radio. | |
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Each episode of The Houndcats begins with the Houndcats receiving their orders from their unseen "Chief", whose message is played on an old-fashioned gramophone, player-piano or other device, parodying the tape recorder scene at the start of most episodes of Mission: Impossible. However, the words "this message will self-destruct in five seconds", always takes the Houndcats by surprise, causing them to run away from the explosion. | |
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In Clue II: Murder in Disguise, during Chapter 3, Colonel Mustard and Miss Scarlet (the former spies) have gone back into business, and they get a mission via self-destructing tape that plays aloud. Thing is, in Chapter 3, Miss Peach has started writing in a diary, which gets read aloud in Peach's voice as exposition for the watching audience. But since Clue II indulges in meta-humor, everyone including the other characters can hear the diary being read aloud, and everyone except Peach finds it annoying. So when Mustard starts playing the tape with his instructions, almost immediate Madame Rose says, "Lay off the diary!" which Mustard protests that it's not a diary. | |
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This was the original purpose of the Tesla guns in Goldeneye Rogue Agent: they're intended to wipe hard-drives with a powerful burst of electromagnetic energy. Within the game, you're supposed to use them to disrupt enemy force-fields, but they're not terribly effective. | |
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The Order of the Stick: Explosive Runes: Once Read Kaboom. One tactic of Vaarsuvius in his/her "discussions" with Belkar. The Running Gag with them ended after V zapped Xykon's prize possession with them. | |
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In Jingo, Sam Vimes receives a self-destructing note. Including an apology from Leonard of Quirm for not having better chemicals to do the job. | |
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Lampshaded in the Joueur du Grenier special on Mission: Impossible games, saying "'never do this" as he shows the consequences of self-destructing message s, like a little girl finding the about-to-explode device or listening to the message while on an airplane. | |
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Variant in Murder on the Orient Express: Hercule Poirot recovers writing on a burnt letter—by burning it again. The burnt ink burns before the burnt paper, and so for a few brief moments, the fragments of words are written in fire. Obviously, this method has to be done right the first time... | |
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Parodied in Inspector Gadget, where Gadget's absentmindedness always leads to the message accidentally but literally exploding in Chief Quimby's face (which ends up covered in ash), who can never quite remember why he keeps that guy on the payroll. ("Why do I put up with him?") The tradition even remains in later series when Chief Quimby made a guest appearance. | |
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Stan of American Dad! once was given a message that he quickly destroyed himself by eating to impress his boss, but it turns out it incinerates itself. He keeps his stride by joking that "at least it's better than my wife's cooking", but then laments that he'll be pooping blood for a while. | |
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At least one Darwin Award has played this trope straight — the 'paper', in this case, was an explosive briefcase, secured with a latch that prevented the case from opening too far (so the documents couldn't be photographed before they were destroyed) and an arming pin (so the agent can pull the pin and run if he needs to ditch the case). To open the case safely, you needed a small piece of thin metal to hold the latch down. The agent (and 'winner' of the award) was unable to find a small thin piece of metal — so she pulled the arming pin out and used that instead. As expected, the result was 'boom'. | |
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Dungeons & Dragons: The old spell magic mouth. It records a short message and replays it later when pre-set conditions are met. And then vanishes. Then there is explosive runes, which creates a magical writing which explodes when read. You can set some condition for non-triggering it, making it both versions of this trope at once. |
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Happens to Dick Dastardly in the Dastardly & Muttley in Their Flying Machines episode "Stop That Pigeon" after receiving his instructions from the General on the phone. | |
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Myth Adventures. | |
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Ellie from Dies Irae at one point rigs Ren's phone to explode after they finished talking to each-other. She specifically drops the phrase after they are done. Ren initially assumes she is just being a smartass, only for him to be reminded that this is Ellie he was talking about as the phone really does explode. | |
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In Monstrous Regiment, the codebook is edible paper, allowing easy destruction in case of capture... laced with arsenic, so the spy can't be captured either. | |
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In This Was Easier on the Tabletop, the document outlining transfer of John's Battlemech to him has this warning written on the postscript. John yelps and quickly drops it, only for Quintus to tell him that Melissa Steiner added that part in just to make him jump. | |
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In the introduction to the Super Nintendo Animaniacs game, the CEO of Warner Brothers, after giving Wakko, Yakko and Dot their mission to retrieve a movie script stolen by Pinky and the Brain, says "This message will self-destruct in one second," followed by an exploding videophone and Wakko mournfully saying, "There goes my lunch..." | |
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In War of the Human Tanks, you receive a message from an enemy Human Tank at the start of the third mission, and after it is finished delivering the message, it blows up. | |
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In Pokémon Mystery Dungeon, the mission pages for the Seven Treasures quest all self-destruct on being opened. | |
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Kim Possible: Parodied in "Job Unfair", where Ron is so excited about getting a spy briefing like this, he fails to realize that the message is about to explode, before Rufus snatches it and tosses it into a locker, where it explodes muffled. | |
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In Spy Hard, the hero left the self-destructing tape recorder in the helicopter he was flying in without thinking, and the pilot has a big Oh, Crap! moment when he hears the self-destruct message. It blows up the helicopter, killing the pilot — Mr. T. | |
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Command & Conquer: CABAL's secret message to Slavik when the latter is imprisoned by GDI. Justifed though as the "message" contained enough C-4 to blow up Slavik's cell door. "The C-4 in this device will explode in 5 seconds"... 3 seconds later... *boom*. Slavik should have noticed it then and there. Or maybe the countdown started at the beginning of the sentence. | |
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In Good Omens fics, there is a tendency for Crowley's written briefings to go up in flamboyant Hellfire, as you might expect. | |
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'Allo 'Allo!. Resistance leader Michelle does a verbal version whenever she gives René orders, then tells him to forget everything she just said for security reasons. Since this would mean René wouldn't remember what his orders were, he just rolls his eyes instead. | |
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An episode of Alf Tales combines The Elves and the Cobbler with Mission: Impossible. The lead agent receives his assignment on videotape and is then told the message will self-destruct in a set amount of time. He goes to throw it out of the window, only for the tape to explode in his hand. He comments that the time allotted wasn't enough. | |
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In an episode of The Fairly OddParents!, Timmy wishes his life were like an action movie. The next morning at breakfast, his dad slides a tape recorder across the table to tell his son to pass the butter before the obligatory "this message will self-destruct" line. | |
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Get Smart. In "The Impossible Mission", Max goes to a coin locker where a taped message from the Chief is waiting, then opens two other lockers holding the speakers. After getting his briefing, the Chief announces that the tape will destruct in five seconds. Maybe six... The explosion destroys everything except the tape, which refuses to stop playing after Max's repeated attempts to destroy it. In the end Max has to tuck the bulky tape player under his coat and walk off with it. |
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Hatoful Boyfriend's tie-in manga subverts this. When Yuuya gets a tape with his next assignment he's told that the tape won't self destruct so please dispose of it properly. "It looks like the explosives budget's been cut, huh..." he says. | |
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Played with in a fantasy-sequence on The Amazing World of Gumball, in which Richard receives a cell phone in the mail that orders him to save the President, then warns him it'll self-destruct in 10 seconds. He saves the President in nine seconds, then blows up the would-be assassin by throwing the phone at him. | |
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In Outlaw Star, Gene and two perverted men watch a videotape where a woman strips while there is a countdown on the screen. As the countdown reaches zero, the woman says, "You must be the dumbest people alive." and the tape explodes in their faces. Trio declare it was Worth It. | |
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Muppet Babies (1984): In "The Case of the Missing Chicken", Gonzo imagines he's a spy and is informed through his shoe-phone that both his plush chicken Camilla and the president's socks have been stolen. He is then informed that his phone will self-destruct in five seconds, and the phone blows up on him. | |
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In a Peanuts strip, when Linus' mother was putting notes in his school lunch, one such note ended, "This note will self-destruct in five seconds," and promptly vanished. | |
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Parodied in The Incredibles (by video). Mr. Incredible is in a rush to find a pencil to write down what it says about his next mission before it self-destructs (although he didn't know about the self-destruction at the time, only that the recording would be important and "will not be repeated"), and then it explodes in his trophy room after helpfully informing him of this and giving up the contact number. He opens the door to escape the smoke, setting the fire sprinklers off and causing the rest of his family to yell at him from different rooms. | |
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EVA's message to Snake at the end of Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater self-destructs when he's done listening to it. Probably a homage to Mission: Impossible. | |
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Bob receives a mission briefing like this in The Jennifer Morgue. Complications ensue when the briefing ends up self-destructing before he's actually finished reading it. Boris is also annoyed, because his laptop is running the briefing, and when The Laundry say that something will self-destruct, they mean it. | |
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The anime Sonic X parodies this trope. Every time Eggman sends a video message to Sonic and company, he claims that something completely random and weird will happen after it's finished, which the robot messenger Bokkun then has to fulfill, such as "after this message, there will be karate". The one time he did the traditional "This message will self-destruct" thing, the message was accidentally delivered to him instead of Sonic. Knuckles once did this to Sonic in episode 5. The message actually explodes in Sonic's face. Bokkun is also obsessed with bombs, which is why Sonic and Chris once jumped behind a couch when he came to deliver a message. The second season implies that the reason why the TVs used in the messages tend to explode was to prevent the recipient from keeping one and getting a free TV. |
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Played around by Ernest in the beginning of Ernest in the Army. | |
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Murder Rooms. In the pilot movie, the Diabolical Mastermind leaves a taunting message written in a pile of sand used to bury Doyle's Love Interest, ensuring that our heroes will destroy the evidence while retrieving the body. | |
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Asterix and the Black Gold: the secret parchment bursts into flames when spy Doubleosix is done reading it. | |
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In Monty Python's Flying Circus, after "The Death of Mary, Queen of Scots," the radio presenter says, "And now, Radio Four will explode." The radio music starts up once again, and then the receiver explodes. | |
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In the Josie and the Pussycats episode "Never Mind a Master Mind", the gang finds a taped message inside a purple shoe. At the end, the message says it will self-destruct in one second. BOOM | |
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Used in Górsky & Butch during a Mission: Impossible spoof - a pair of glasses showed Butch the details of the mission, then self-destructed before he could take them off. | |
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Phoenix Force. In "Tooth & Claw", Phoenix Force leave a taped message for the KGB hit team chasing them, which concludes: "By the way, have any of you assholes ever seen a TV series called Mission: Impossible?" Then the tape recorder explodes, killing the two men standing closest to it. | |
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Steve 1989 MRE Info: A downplayed example, the instructions and contents sheet of the 1990 Yugoslavian JPA Pilot Survival ration Steve took a look at doesn't self-destruct but it does conclude by telling you to "burn or bury these instructions." The vital information that a basic survival kit contained some salt tablets, a bit of candy and chocolate and a packet of coffee was Serious Business during The Yugoslav Wars. | |
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Urusei Yatsura: After her less-than-pleasant new encounter with her childhood friend, Ran, Lum is approached by a small Ran doll who tells her that Ran is sorry for everything and wants to meet and make up so they can be friends again. It then ends the message with "I will now self-destruct." and explodes. In Lum's face. To absolutely nobody's surprise, Ran isn't really interested in being friends after all. | |
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Parodied on The Ghost Bustersnote The original live-action series from 1975, which predates the more famous Ghostbusters by 9 years., where the title heroes got their secret messages from "Mr. Zero"note Voiced by Filmation co-founder Lou Scheimer.. The messages were hidden in improbable items (cream pies, a tuba, etc.) and would explode after the tape stopped, always on Tracy the Gorilla's face. | |
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An early chapter of Lupin III had Lupin on the receiving end of this, after being hired by the Japanese government to save a spy from overseas. He grumbles "I hate spies" as he leaves the briefing with an Ash Face. | |
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All the movies in the Mission: Impossible Film Series follow the TV show in this manner, each one using a different method to deliver the briefing: A film cassette, whose self-destruction is covered by Jim Phelps blowing smoke from his cigarette A pair of VR sunglasses, delivered to Ethan Hunt via rocket launcher, which explode after the briefing ends A video player built into a disposable camera, which Ethan picks up at a convenience store and which slags itself after playing the briefing A player hidden inside an old pay phone, which only self-destructs after Ethan thumps it as a self-parodying Mythology Gag A vinyl record played on a turntable with a built-in projector (actually a trap set by the Big Bad, which releases sleeping gas to knock Ethan out instead of destroying the record) A hollowed-out book delivered to Ethan that contains a reel-to-reel tape recorder and projector, whose tape burns up at the end of the briefing A microcassette recorder and a stack of photos, which burn up together after Ethan drops them all into a food delivery bag |
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In the first Gor novel, Tarl gets a message from his father which says it will burst into flame in a few minutes. For some reason Tarl puts it in his backpack; sure enough, a few minutes later his backpack bursts into flame. | |
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In Sekirei, the CEO uses a robotic dummy to give a message at the end of the third match. The message ends with the dummy saying that it will self-destruct in ten seconds... But Homura, who hates the CEO, blows it up before the countdown even starts. | |
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The 1980s Mission: Impossible took the variety (and fun) out of the destruction. Jim would find what looked like a prototype portable DVD player, scan his thumbprint to open it, then enter a code on a keypad to retrieve and slot the disc. After playing it and hearing the warning, he would close the lid and walk away. The player and disc would slag themselves in a mini-explosion, with wisps of smoke leaking out of the case. | |
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Parodied in Duke Nukem 3D's "It's Impossible" level, itself an extended parody of Mission: Impossible and other works of Spy Fiction. A tape recorder sitting on a desk in the building Duke's infiltrating can be activated by the player, proclaiming "This tape will self-destruct in one second!" Cue a comically large explosion one second later which destroys a sizable chunk of the desk the tape recorder was on, everything near it and Duke Nukem himself if the player didn't get the hint in time to make a run for it. | |
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Used in an episode of Spongebob Squarepants when Mr. Krabs commissions Spongebob and Patrick to spy on Plankton, giving them their mission via Krabby Patty... that, of course, explodes after the message. | |
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Spoofed in City of Heroes: In your first contact mission with Twinshot, she'll ask you to identify yourself through a security terminal. You can try to tell her that your name is Inigo Montoya, but then she'll berate you for using a decades-old joke and threaten to blow up the terminal. (She doesn't actually do it, of course.) | |
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In one of the Alex Rider books, the practice is parodied: The item in question is a perfectly normal get-well-soon card. | |
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