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Useless Spleen

 Useless Spleen
type
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 Useless Spleen
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Useless Spleen
 Useless Spleen
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UselessSpleen
 Useless Spleen
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As far as human organs go, there is the common idea that no one knows exactly what the spleen does.
Therefore, a common sight in fiction is that either the spleen is a completely useless part of the human body or it serves some sort of encumbering function. Often Played for Laughs, especially with the implication that damage or loss of the spleen is trivial and harmless.
Because of the Inherently Funny Words effect, spleens are often mentioned for a punchline or joke. This mostly happens in an Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking manner, with the spleen as the jaywalking.
Along with the fact that it's seen as useless, the spleen is often portrayed as a convenient place to get hurt/injured in a fight, possibly because it is somehow considered funny.
In fact, the spleen plays a very important role in the lymphatic and immune systems. It is easily ruptured by blunt or piercing impact and is very difficult to repair (doctors say that it has the natural consistency of a blood-soaked sponge). If severely damaged, often it must be removed surgically or the person in question is likely to bleed to death; once removed, the person has to take care to avoid bacterial and protozoan infections (to which they become more susceptible). A fairly comprehensive treatment of the subject is covered in a blog entry by Dr. Scott.
Compare We Will Not Have Appendixes in the Future. Not to be confused with the useless Spleen.
 Useless Spleen
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2024-02-18T21:00:30Z
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2024-02-18T21:00:30Z
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DBTropes
 Useless Spleen / int_10b060ee
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Useless Spleen
 Useless Spleen / int_10b060ee
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"Has anyone seen my spleen?" is a common phrase in the aftermath of combat in Dork Tower. Or, in real life, the aftermath of Carson trying to kick a "fenderberg" off a moving car.
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 Dork Tower (Webcomic)
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Useless Spleen
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A The Far Side cartoon with "Having explored the heart of the jungle, the intrepid explorers now entered the spleen". Another has Edgar Allan Poe with list of crossed-out titles, such as The Telltalle Brain and The Telltale Spleen.
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Useless Spleen
 Useless Spleen / int_16aa3232
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On Desperate Housewives, Susan finds out she needs her spleen removed but has no health insurance, so she makes arrangements to marry a gay man in order to get the coverage she needs. The guy's boyfriend becomes jealous about the whole deal, pointing out that he isn't ready to marry him but will marry a woman with "a silly disease". Susan explains that her situation is actually serious, but just sounds silly because of the word "spleen".
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 Desperate Housewives
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Useless Spleen / int_16aa3232
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Useless Spleen
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CSI: NY: Zig-zagged in "The Cost of Living." While a deceased victim's medical records show that his spleen had been removed, M.E. Sid Hammerback finds a perfectly healthy one in his body. The discovery of the organ leads the team to the man's true identity... and eventually to his killer.
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Useless Spleen
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A common punchline in Brewster Rockit: Space Guy! involves Winky being attacked by an alien and screaming "Ah! My spleen!"
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Dave the Barbarian:
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In an episode of Beavis and Butt-Head, the duo try to get money by suing people for injuries they supposedly obtained from people. Near the end, Beavis is hit by Tom Anderson's car. He isn't seriously injured but he pretends to be and shouts "Ow, my spleen!", but he grabs at his crotch when he says this and probably doesn't know what one is.
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Useless Spleen
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The game Crystal Cove Online features the first 26 mysteries and a bonus mystery. When two orcs appeared, the one who was said to have it worst complained about a hurt spleen.
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 Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated
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Useless Spleen / int_341a1fd2
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Useless Spleen
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Chaos Cultists in Dawn of War exist to die in large numbers. One of their reactions to being killed is "Augh! My SPLEEN!."
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Useless Spleen / int_367f632a
 Useless Spleen / int_36c89d24
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Useless Spleen
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A serial killer in Hannibal is believed to be a black market surgeon who kills for internal organs to donate/transplant. This theory goes out of the window because of this trope:
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 Hannibal
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Useless Spleen
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Inverted in a Dilbert strip, where Wally's excuse for being useless was that he was keeping hydrated by drinking coffee to keep his spleen from drying up.
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Useless Spleen / int_3f4a104b
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Useless Spleen
 Useless Spleen / int_3fe6b4fb
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New Jedi Order, of all things, contains a notable aversion of this trope. During a dangerous, practically suicidal mission, Anakin Solo sustains a huge wound to his spleen while protecting a loved one. He bleeds to death. And, despite his huge fanbase and his general importance in-universe, they ain't bringin' 'im back.
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Useless Spleen
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Married... with Children: In a two-part episode, Bud borrowed money from a loan shark named Vito Capone. ("No relation", he says) When it seemed he'd not be able to repay, Vito said something about extracting Bud's spleen. When Bud asked he'd be able to live without a spleen, Vito said he could. (Not that it matter, since it'd not be the only organ he'd lose.)
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Useless Spleen
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¡Mucha Lucha! has The Flea thinking his spleen as this, and lies about having hurt his spleen whenever he wants to get out of something. Then an evil doctor tries to steal it to create a bio-robot, but his spleen literally exits his body and beats up the robot in a wrestling match. And the Flea's other organs also join in the fight. Then returns to his body. Moral of the story is that the spleen is not a useless organ. Subverted in a final scene showing the Flea's spleen return to his "home"; he does nothing but watch TV.
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 Â¡Mucha Lucha!
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Useless Spleen
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Averted in Patriot Games, unfortunately, as it still sounds funny.
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Useless Spleen / int_4cc1bcfc
 Useless Spleen / int_52eb7183
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Useless Spleen
 Useless Spleen / int_52eb7183
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Irregular Webcomic! :
One of the Pyramid magazine strips, which can be found here, features a critical hit chart aimed at PC's. "Spleen" was labelled "Susceptible to Infection", which is a nuisance in a fantasy setting (more so in Low Fantasy), but given how many of the other organs are labelled "Death", "Paraplegia" or "Crippled", Ruined Spleen Guy is probably getting off lightly.
Another strip lists the medical capabilities of the party, which includes:
One of the main site's polls asked readers to choose the funniest non-reproductive organ. "Spleen" was, of course, the runaway winner.
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Useless Spleen
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Jormungandling's spleen is a relatively dangerous enemy in Wandering Hamster which taunts you throughout his belly. Killing it doesn't seem to affect the snake in any way.
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Useless Spleen
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The Order of the Stick:
When Elan is badly wounded, he asks: "How important is one of these?" while holding out an unspecified detached organ. Said wounds were due to being Impaled with Extreme Prejudice, after which he states, "Look, I found all these free swords. They were in my spleen."
Subverted in bonus comic "How the Paladin Got His Scar". A character mentions losing their spleen in a fight, which at first seems like just another case of Inherently Funny Words, but they later mention in passing that they will need to take medicine for the rest of their life, and have been honourably discharged from the army.
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Useless Spleen / int_5755b96a
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Useless Spleen
 Useless Spleen / int_58173119
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Very pointedly averted in Rainbow Six when Homer Johnson snipes a Western terrorist in the spleen for executing a Littlest Cancer Patient, with the wish, "Die slow, you fuck."
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Useless Spleen
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The Expanse: In Leviathan Wakes, when Holden is performing a sustained high-g acceleration, he complains about the effect on his spleen.
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Useless Spleen
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Warframe: A Kuva Lich with the "Jovial" personality has two lines involving his spleen:
The Deadlock Protocol sees captured Solaris workers being held aboard Corpus ships to be sent into the Granum Void. One voiceline from a captured worker threatens to make the Corpus workers know the taste of their own spleen.
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Useless Spleen
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The spleen is the most-mentioned organ in Chopping Block. Butch admits he has no idea what it does, but he claims it has "a certain je ne sais quois."
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Useless Spleen
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In Spider-Man: The Venom Trilogy, Venom states that when he finds whoever is responsible for the murders (that Venom is being wrongly accused of) he will eat his spleen. Spider-Man comments that this is an odd choice of organ to target and that Venom likely doesn't even know where someone's spleen is.
 Useless Spleen / int_5ea5928c
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 Spider-Man: The Venom Trilogy
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Useless Spleen / int_5ea5928c
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Useless Spleen
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The first incarnation of GRIT had a villainous character named P-Word who often threatened to rip out people's spleens.
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Useless Spleen
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There is a quest in Fallout 2 which requires you to retrieve someone's spleen which was surgically removed while they were unconscious; failing to return it results in them dying after an allotted time.
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 Fallout 2 (Video Game)
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Useless Spleen
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Dan and Mab's Furry Adventures: Apparently a form of magical CPR can be performed by bludgeoning a nearby fae in the spleen. In spite of circumstances, this is probably more Rule of Funny than anything else. Though, the one in need of healing later turned out to be an Emotion Eater with an affinity for pain. So, hypothetically beating a bystander in the spleen could have healed him.
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 Dan and Mab's Furry Adventures (Webcomic)
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Useless Spleen
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Averted in the Stardoc series — or at least for the Jorenian race, for whom it's a vital organ.
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CSI-verse: A few Bodies of the Week from the franchise have succumbed to bleeding out after a bludgeoning attack or collision ruptured their spleen. An aversion of sorts, as it reminds viewers that, whether or not a working spleen is essential to survival, an injured spleen is liable to kill you in the absence of emergency surgery.
CSI: The first subject of serial killer "Dr. Jekyll"'s surgical experiments was an already-deceased man whose small intestine had been tied in a bow around his spleen.
CSI: NY: Zig-zagged in "The Cost of Living." While a deceased victim's medical records show that his spleen had been removed, M.E. Sid Hammerback finds a perfectly healthy one in his body. The discovery of the organ leads the team to the man's true identity... and eventually to his killer.
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Useless Spleen
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In Wraith Squadron, perpetually injury-prone (30% mechanical and counting!) pilot Ton Phanan is hit by a small piece of shrapnel, which happens to penetrate his spleen. Fortunately, he is soon in the hospital and presumably picks up another replacement cybernetic in the process.
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Useless Spleen
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After One Life to Live's Jessica is badly injured in a car accident, her surgeon informs her family that they had to remove her spleen, as it was ruptured. There's no mention of the fact that she'll be vulnerable to infection from now on.
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Useless Spleen
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Averted in Promethean: The Created; the spleen is vital to Prometheans, as in the distribution of humours, it is the origin of blood. (In reality, it breaks down old blood cells, but alchemy was never exactly on top of biology.) Growing an extra spleen via Lovecraftian Superpowers has multiple benefits.
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Useless Spleen
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On Sawbones episode "The People vs. The Spleen", Justin makes a case that the spleen is a useless organ, based mainly on the fact that it took most of history for physicians to figure out what it does, and that this information never became public knowledge.
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Useless Spleen
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In Armed and Dangerous Roman will occasionally comment on the Ludicrous Gibs he's causing with "Is that a spleen?"
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Newhart: Michael has a fantasy/dream in which an older version of himself has a conversation with his infant daughter as an adult. He's sold his spleen (and one of his kidneys) in order to buy her the very last cashmere sweater to complete her collection, but now she wants shoes. He'd sell his blood to pay for them, but he's not sure he can even make new blood without a spleen.
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 Newhart
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A throwaway gag of Red vs. Blue has Grif grievously injured and in immediate need of surgery. Simmons "volunteers" to donate his organs to Grif, becoming a Cyborg in the process. Almost every organ is transplanted, except for the spleen, which is inflated and used for general recreation, and espirits de corps.
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 Red vs. Blue (Web Animation)
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Used in Exiern, here.
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Useless Spleen
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After Buck lands and manages to twist himself so that his spleen is bulging below his skin in Ice Age: Collision Course:
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Spider-Man
In Spider-Man: The Venom Trilogy, Venom states that when he finds whoever is responsible for the murders (that Venom is being wrongly accused of) he will eat his spleen. Spider-Man comments that this is an odd choice of organ to target and that Venom likely doesn't even know where someone's spleen is.
In the Spider-Man: Sinister Six Trilogy, Spider-Man casually jokes about Venom wanting to eat his spleen. He speculates that it's not specifically the spleen he's after, they both just think it's a funny word.
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Useless Spleen / int_9c754612
 Useless Spleen / int_a825da3e
type
Useless Spleen
 Useless Spleen / int_a825da3e
comment
Magic: The Gathering:
In Mark Gottlieb's article "Combos: Future Sight Edition," he takes a spleen-piercing bullet to the spleen.
Also appears in the flavor text of a few cards:
 Useless Spleen / int_a825da3e
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1.0
 Useless Spleen / int_a825da3e
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Useless Spleen / int_a825da3e
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type
Useless Spleen
 Useless Spleen / int_a8729c90
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The Fairly OddParents!
In an attempt to beat Timmy up while Timmy blocks his attempts with his newly-gotten attendance award, Francis can be heard shouting "Ow, my hand! Ow, my other hand! Ow, my head! Ow, my spleen!" as he continues to take swings.
In another episode Timmy's Dad decides to get a new job on the Internet, so Cosmo and Wanda pose as interactive characters on the website. He pokes Cosmo with the arrow and he says "Ow, my spleen!".
 Useless Spleen / int_a8729c90
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1.0
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Useless Spleen / int_a8729c90
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type
Useless Spleen
 Useless Spleen / int_a8a40154
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One of the Postal Dude's injury reaction lines is: "Ow, my spleen's poking out!"
 Useless Spleen / int_a8a40154
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1.0
 Useless Spleen / int_a8a40154
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1.0
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Useless Spleen / int_a8a40154
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type
Useless Spleen
 Useless Spleen / int_ab4f6c9
comment
Batman: Mask of the Phantasm: The Phantasm comes for Sal Valestra, only to find a trap set by the Joker (who thinks Batman has gone insane and started killing criminals).
 Useless Spleen / int_ab4f6c9
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1.0
 Useless Spleen / int_ab4f6c9
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1.0
 Batman: Mask of the Phantasm
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Useless Spleen / int_ab4f6c9
 Useless Spleen / int_ac6b386d
type
Useless Spleen
 Useless Spleen / int_ac6b386d
comment
One of Peacock's responses when being K.O.ed in Skullgirls is groaning out "My spleen...". Notable in that she's a cyborg and it's not known (yet) the extent of how much of her body was replaced by mechanical parts aside from her arms and legs.
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1.0
 Useless Spleen / int_ac6b386d
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1.0
 Skullgirls (Video Game)
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Useless Spleen / int_ac6b386d
 Useless Spleen / int_b4fe32c9
type
Useless Spleen
 Useless Spleen / int_b4fe32c9
comment
Invader Zim had Dib's spleen getting damaged during a Fantastic Voyage.
 Useless Spleen / int_b4fe32c9
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1.0
 Useless Spleen / int_b4fe32c9
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Useless Spleen / int_b4fe32c9
 Useless Spleen / int_bcd5f17e
type
Useless Spleen
 Useless Spleen / int_bcd5f17e
comment
Averted in Ozzy & Drix, where Ozzy dispatches one villain by luring him to the spleen and describing its functions. Said spleen is effectively a Turbine Blender.
 Useless Spleen / int_bcd5f17e
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-1.0
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Useless Spleen / int_bcd5f17e
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Useless Spleen
 Useless Spleen / int_c22905b5
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Red Robin: Tim Drake loses his spleen to a sword-strike in the fourth issue.
 Useless Spleen / int_c22905b5
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1.0
 Useless Spleen / int_c22905b5
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 Red Robin (Comic Book)
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Useless Spleen / int_c22905b5
 Useless Spleen / int_c43df4d8
type
Useless Spleen
 Useless Spleen / int_c43df4d8
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Doctor Who: In "The Tsuranga Conundrum", the Doctor and companions wind up on an ambulance spaceship after falling afoul of a sonic mine. The Doctor, still recovering for most of the episode, mentions her "ecto-spleen" is hurting.
 Useless Spleen / int_c43df4d8
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Useless Spleen / int_c43df4d8
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Useless Spleen
 Useless Spleen / int_c73f511c
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In Boardwalk Empire, Eli Thompson suffers a gunshot wound to the gut and is eager to get back to work after he's fixed up.
 Useless Spleen / int_c73f511c
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1.0
 Useless Spleen / int_c73f511c
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Useless Spleen / int_c73f511c
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type
Useless Spleen
 Useless Spleen / int_c7554c9f
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Invoked in Mune: Guardian of the Moon. One member of the Bumbling Henchman Duo is a dim-witted but kind Minion with an F in Evil. Instead of supporting his boss' evil plan to fill the world with darkness, he enjoys the beauty of nature. His name is Spleen.
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Useless Spleen / int_c7554c9f
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Useless Spleen
 Useless Spleen / int_c9633211
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There are several types of enemies in No More Heroes who yell "MY SPLEEN!" upon getting killed. Considering that they usually get chopped in half, you would think that would be the least of their concerns.
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1.0
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Useless Spleen / int_c9633211
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Useless Spleen
 Useless Spleen / int_cac1f772
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CSI: The first subject of serial killer "Dr. Jekyll"'s surgical experiments was an already-deceased man whose small intestine had been tied in a bow around his spleen.
 Useless Spleen / int_cac1f772
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1.0
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1.0
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Useless Spleen / int_cac1f772
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type
Useless Spleen
 Useless Spleen / int_d109f322
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Another little-known organ in Andromeda, while treating Rev. Bem for injuries Trance tells him that he has four broken ribs and a hurt "something that only Magog have."
 Useless Spleen / int_d109f322
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1.0
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1.0
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Useless Spleen / int_d109f322
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type
Useless Spleen
 Useless Spleen / int_d31cdea
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The Hunger Games: In Mockingjay, Katniss is shot. Despite a bullet-proof costume, she suffers bruised ribs and a ruptured spleen.
 Useless Spleen / int_d31cdea
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1.0
 Useless Spleen / int_d31cdea
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 The Hunger Games
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Useless Spleen / int_d31cdea
 Useless Spleen / int_d335ebc5
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Useless Spleen
 Useless Spleen / int_d335ebc5
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In the Spider-Man: Sinister Six Trilogy, Spider-Man casually jokes about Venom wanting to eat his spleen. He speculates that it's not specifically the spleen he's after, they both just think it's a funny word.
 Useless Spleen / int_d335ebc5
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Useless Spleen / int_d335ebc5
 Useless Spleen / int_d8c1c9d1
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Useless Spleen
 Useless Spleen / int_d8c1c9d1
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Invoked by GrayStillPlays. "Spleens" is what he named his derpy-looking, Cloudcuckoolander virtual cat that serves as a Recurring Character (and even kind of a mascot for Gray) in his The Sims 4 videos.
 Useless Spleen / int_d8c1c9d1
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1.0
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 GrayStillPlays (Web Video)
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Useless Spleen / int_d8c1c9d1
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type
Useless Spleen
 Useless Spleen / int_dfa878ba
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Matthew Swift: In The Midnight Mayor, Matthew is injured badly after an attack. When he asks how bad it is, Oda tells him that, among other things, he's pierced his spleen. Matthew asks everyone in the room what a spleen does. Nobody but Oda knows, and she says she's not going to tell him because it would only upset him.
 Useless Spleen / int_dfa878ba
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 Matthew Swift
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Useless Spleen / int_dfa878ba
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type
Useless Spleen
 Useless Spleen / int_e1575a9d
comment
Shirt Guy Dom from some MegaTokyo filler strips certainly qualifies — there's a reason he has a spear named Spleen Slayer.
 Useless Spleen / int_e1575a9d
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1.0
 Useless Spleen / int_e1575a9d
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Useless Spleen / int_e1575a9d
 Useless Spleen / int_e42697e1
type
Useless Spleen
 Useless Spleen / int_e42697e1
comment
Averted on a sketch on All That; a character has forgotten to bring something for show and tell. He takes his friend out in the hall and when they return, he has removed his friend's spleen and is ready to present it for show and tell while his friend stands next to him, doubled over in pain. He ends his presentation with something along the lines of "Humans are incapable of surviving without their spleen," at which point his friend gets worried and then collapses.
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Useless Spleen / int_e42697e1
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Useless Spleen
 Useless Spleen / int_e5226bfe
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One of the many random news-ticker headlines in Cookie Clicker: "Nation cheers as legislators finally outlaw the human spleen!"
 Useless Spleen / int_e5226bfe
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1.0
 Useless Spleen / int_e5226bfe
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Useless Spleen / int_e5226bfe
 Useless Spleen / int_e6267766
type
Useless Spleen
 Useless Spleen / int_e6267766
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Star Wars Legends:
New Jedi Order, of all things, contains a notable aversion of this trope. During a dangerous, practically suicidal mission, Anakin Solo sustains a huge wound to his spleen while protecting a loved one. He bleeds to death. And, despite his huge fanbase and his general importance in-universe, they ain't bringin' 'im back.
In Wraith Squadron, perpetually injury-prone (30% mechanical and counting!) pilot Ton Phanan is hit by a small piece of shrapnel, which happens to penetrate his spleen. Fortunately, he is soon in the hospital and presumably picks up another replacement cybernetic in the process.
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Useless Spleen / int_e6267766
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Useless Spleen
 Useless Spleen / int_e936047a
comment
In an episode of Hey Arnold!, Eugene has his tonsils removed in a hospital mixup. He says it's alright, he doesn't need them anyway...but wishes they had left his spleen. Then he flashes the scar.
 Useless Spleen / int_e936047a
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1.0
 Useless Spleen / int_e936047a
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1.0
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Useless Spleen / int_e936047a
 Useless Spleen / int_f120845f
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Useless Spleen
 Useless Spleen / int_f120845f
comment
In Kingdom of Loathing, the spleen is stated to be completely useless but still cumbersome, because it limits the number of stat-increasing items you can consume per day. A concert promoter is threatened by managers with "having his spleen removed through his nostrils" if he cannot make enough people attend a concert.
 Useless Spleen / int_f120845f
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1.0
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Useless Spleen / int_f120845f
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Useless Spleen
 Useless Spleen / int_f1e6d15a
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Kid Cosmic: Ramona and Carlos end up controlling the spleen of a Humongous Mecha. Carlos doesn't understand what the purpose of it is.
 Useless Spleen / int_f1e6d15a
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1.0
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Useless Spleen / int_f1e6d15a
 Useless Spleen / int_f5c28dbb
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Useless Spleen
 Useless Spleen / int_f5c28dbb
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In 1634: The Galileo Affair, nurse Sharon Nichols performs a splenectomy. She considers the loss of the organ to be a serious issue, with implications for Ruy Sanchez's long-term health. Nevertheless, for the downtimers, the amazing thing is that abdominal surgery can be done with a reasonable expectation that the patient will survive.
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1.0
 Useless Spleen / int_f5c28dbb
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Useless Spleen / int_f5c28dbb
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Useless Spleen
 Useless Spleen / int_fa9a7b09
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In an Over the Hedge strip where Verne gets in a sledding accident his spleen is one of several organs scattered across the landscape. Another time when RJ is trying to convince him to get past a Mayan warrior-priest guarding a fridge he tells him that guy is more likely to grab a kidney or spleen than heart, and you can live without a kidney or spleen.
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1.0
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Useless Spleen / int_fa9a7b09

The following is a list of statements referring to the current page from other pages.

 Useless Spleen
processingCategory2
Anatomy Tropes
 Useless Spleen
processingCategory2
Comedy Tropes
 Batman (Comic Book) / int_ca1161ba
type
Useless Spleen
 The Far Side (Comic Strip) / int_ca1161ba
type
Useless Spleen
 Patriot Games / int_ca1161ba
type
Useless Spleen
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Useless Spleen
 Mockingjay / int_ca1161ba
type
Useless Spleen
 1632 / int_ca1161ba
type
Useless Spleen
 Spider-Man: The Venom Trilogy / int_ca1161ba
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Useless Spleen
 Sawbones (Podcast) / int_ca1161ba
type
Useless Spleen
 All That / int_ca1161ba
type
Useless Spleen
 Jessica Jones (2015) / int_ca1161ba
type
Useless Spleen
 Dawn of War (Video Game) / int_ca1161ba
type
Useless Spleen
 Hyperdimension Neptunia Victory (Video Game) / int_ca1161ba
type
Useless Spleen
 Kingdom of Loathing (Video Game) / int_ca1161ba
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Useless Spleen
 No More Heroes (Video Game) / int_ca1161ba
type
Useless Spleen
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Useless Spleen
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Useless Spleen
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type
Useless Spleen
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type
Useless Spleen
 Dork Tower (Webcomic) / int_ca1161ba
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Useless Spleen
 MegaTokyo (Webcomic) / int_ca1161ba
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Useless Spleen
 Â¡Mucha Lucha! / int_ca1161ba
type
Useless Spleen