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Vampire Vords

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Vhen zhe Classical Movie Vampire became szuch an iconic portrayal of vampires, zuh vay sczhey szpoke also became iconic.
In other words, whenever vampires speak, they will inevitably have an Eastern European or Slavic accent. In the novel Dracula, the title character is said to be descended from the Szekely people, a Hungarian-speaking ethnic group still found in Romania. This is one of the many characteristics that serves to differentiate Stoker's character from the historical Vlad the Impaler — Tepes — who was ethnically Vlach and spoke Romanian as his native language. Bela Lugosi, who played the best-known screen Dracula in the 1931 film, was also a native Hungarian speaker born in present-day Romania (Dracula's historical namesake ruled over the kingdom of Wallachia, while the count himself hailed from Transylvania — two different regions of Romania). Also, due to the prominence of Jewish actors in Hollywood, it can also sound suspiciously like Yiddish — which, although a Germanic language, has been significantly influenced by Slavic languages, especially in terms of pronunciation/accent (at least for the Eastern Yiddish dialect group with Galitsianer, i.e Ukrainian Yiddish, and Litvak, i.e. Lithuanian Yiddish).
If you're curious: most native speakers of Slavic languages talk that way because they don't have a [w] sound, its closest stand-in being [v]. Hence, they'll often pronounce "w" as "v" when learning English.
A large number of vampires in fiction have adopted the same affectations in their speech. As more modern portrayals have been introduced, this has become less common, but it is still frequently used in comedic portrayals.
All of vhich ics to szay zat zare are an auful lot of vampires avound who vont to "sohk yu blaohd". Also they tend to say "BLEH!" or "BLAH!" a lot; often two or three utterances at a time.
Note that in the original novel, Count Dracula is said to speak fluent English. (In fact, when his guest comments on it, he explains that his pride would never allow him to settle for merely being another foreigner with a funny accent once he visits Britain.)
Additionally, Bela Lugosi did not actually make his W's sound like V's. Check out the real deal here.note He does say "it would be vell for you to return" at the beginning, but near the end he pronounces "wolfbane" with a w. Even Martin Landau got this one wrong — compare the original "atomic supermen" speech in ''Bride of the Monster'' with Landau's version in Ed Wood.
A case of Small Reference Pools with regards to vampires, and a Dead Horse Trope. As Dracula in the novel never spoke like this (as mentioned above) and Dracula from Hammer Horror didn't do this on the few occasions he spoke, this is something of a Dead Unicorn Trope born of Small Reference Pools.
See also Fang Thpeak and Sssssnake Talk. Sister Trope to Japanese Ranguage and Arab Beoble Talk. Compare The Coconut Effect.
Related to Fake Russian.
This trope has nothing to do with the Vord.
Vampires aren't real — and other examples regarding Eastern European accents don't really belong under this trope — so No Real Life Examples, Please!
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Thud!: Vimes remarked that he wanted to tell Doreen that she can use Ws, honestly — just borrow them from the guy who overemphasis his Ws (a real vampire trying too hard not to look like one), and added that her fake fangs rattle when she talks. Showing that the accent (or least Doreen's) is considered highly annoying. This is at least partly because Doreen has come to the conclusion that, as vampires, she and Arthur must logically be nobles, and therefore she stands for a number of things that Vimes find offensive, so his patience with her is probably already limited at best.
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Reaper Man introduces Arthur and Doreen Winkings, also known as Count and Countess Notfaroutoe, who were mere middle-aged merchants before Arthur received a certain "inheritance" from a "deceased" relative in Uberwald. Oddly, although she has never been turned by him, Doreen is the one who affects a thick Uberwald accent in conversation, most likely due to her class consciousness.
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Super Smash Bros. Ultimate: Pit briefly puts on a mock Bela Lugosi accent when asking if Alucard wants to drink his blood.
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Monster of the Year: The Count always replaces his Ws with Vs.
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Scary Godmother: The vampires, although Ruby's is more of a Russian accent. However, Orson has an American accent.
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The Fifth Elephant: Lady Margolotta speaks this way to Vimes, but not to anyone else, suggesting that she does it deliberately. She doesn't have the accent in Unseen Academicals, when she visits Ankh-Morpork, but does have it in Raising Steam, at home in Uberwald.
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Harry Potter:
He's not a vampire, but Viktor Krum, who is Bulgarian (even though the typical Bulgarian accent doesn't feature this trope, being based on recorded pronunciation in Cyrillic rather than reading the Latin alphabet differently), speaks this way:
Ditto with Oblansk, the Bulgarian Minister for Magic:
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The Simpsons Futurama Crossover Crisis: Dracula talks like this in the second issue of the second miniseries. For instance, when he's revealed to be the new mayor of New New York:
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Regalia: Of Men and Monarchs: Theo tries to talk like this as much as possible, but he occasionally forgets to keep it up.
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Discworld: Repeatedly parodied.
The Truth: Early in, William de Worde meets Otto Chriek, the vampire who will become his iconographer, and assumes that he's a vampire due to his thick Ãœberwalder accent. Otto isn't amused, since while, yes, he is a vampire, there are plenty of non-vampiric Ãœberwalders, and William wouldn't have thought to wonder whether he was a vampire if he had had a more "respectable" accent. A later book suggests that Otto exaggerates his native accent deliberately in public; if he acts like a music-hall vampire he's seen as a joke rather than a bloodsucking monster, and people relax around him, which is important in his job.
Otto speaks with a cod-Central European accent in the original books to emphasise to an English-speaking and presumed-British readership that he is a Sinister-but-Funny Foreigner from a long way away. This posed a unique problem to the Czech translator of Discworld, who was retailoring the character for a readership who actually lived in Central Europe. Word of God, or at least Word Of Translator, is that for Czechs, Otto was reimagined as a different sort of parasitical bloodsucking alien entity from a far country, a cultural referent they knew well. In terms of accent and personality, Otto Chriek became suspiciously Russian-like for them.
Reaper Man introduces Arthur and Doreen Winkings, also known as Count and Countess Notfaroutoe, who were mere middle-aged merchants before Arthur received a certain "inheritance" from a "deceased" relative in Uberwald. Oddly, although she has never been turned by him, Doreen is the one who affects a thick Uberwald accent in conversation, most likely due to her class consciousness.
Thud!: Vimes remarked that he wanted to tell Doreen that she can use Ws, honestly — just borrow them from the guy who overemphasis his Ws (a real vampire trying too hard not to look like one), and added that her fake fangs rattle when she talks. Showing that the accent (or least Doreen's) is considered highly annoying. This is at least partly because Doreen has come to the conclusion that, as vampires, she and Arthur must logically be nobles, and therefore she stands for a number of things that Vimes find offensive, so his patience with her is probably already limited at best.
Igors also speak quite differently, in a messy lisp; they also appear to be able to dispense with this if they wish to, and occasionally forget to lisp when distracted.
Sally is a vampire that doesn't talk like Doreen or John Most-Definitively-Not-a-Vampire Smith, showing that the Vord usage is probably selective.
Monstrous Regiment: Whether Maledict is speaking Morporkian is a good question (and difficult to answer). An awful lot of puns don't work if you assume everyone's speaking Borogravian for most of the book, but why wouldn't they be?
Carpe Jugulum: None of the vampires use this accent (not even Bela, the old count). The inscription on the organ, however, reads "Hlisten to zee children of der night! Vot vonderful mhusick dey make!"
While Moist von Lipwig does not have the accent, he explains to Mr. Pump, his golem parole officer, that the W in his name is properly pronounced like a V. At which point Mr. Pump starts speaking in that accent in an attempt to correct itself.
The Fifth Elephant: Lady Margolotta speaks this way to Vimes, but not to anyone else, suggesting that she does it deliberately. She doesn't have the accent in Unseen Academicals, when she visits Ankh-Morpork, but does have it in Raising Steam, at home in Uberwald.
Conversely, there are also reformed vampires wwwwho overemphasise their doubleyous, under the impression they're "fitting in". In fact, Vimes thinks that "it shouldn't be possible to roll your doubleyous, but he did it anyway." He's not just overemphasizing them, he is in fact pronouncing them multiple times. Probably just to prove he can. ("He", in this case, is the above-mentioned John "Most Definitely Not a Vampire" Smith.)
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The Transformers: The three-part Grand Finale, "The Rebirth", has the Decepticon Mindwipe (who turned into a bat) talk like a stereotypical vampire.
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Sentinels of the Multiverse: All the vampires in the Court of Blood speak with an exaggerated Funetik Aksent, clearly modeled on Bela Lugosi's Dracula''.
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The Muppet Show: In the Vincent Price episode, one sketch has Gonzo and Fozzie checking out their castle-like summer cottage, which Gonzo bought (rented? leased?) based on its ad in "The Wampire Veekly".
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The Rocky Horror Picture Show: Magenta with the infamous "I grow veary of this vorld! Vhen do ve return to Transylvania?" prompting the fan response "Vednesday next veek, vhen else?"
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Dracula: One of the reasons the Count keeps Harker alive in his castle so long is that he's trying very hard to shed his own Wallachian accent. Assuming he didn't head off to Britain until he was satisfied that he'd done so, it's likely that the original Count Dracula sounded like a law-schooled chap from Whitby during his English sojourn. Harker even notes the Count's handle on the language.
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Fright Night (1985). Jerry Dandridge seems to lack an accent, but when he is in his true form, a touch of his real accent begins to leak out.
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Spider-Man: The Animated Series: Morbius the Living Vampire speaks like this (even though in the source material he's Greek).
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Conker's Bad Fur Day featured Count Batula, Conker's ancestor who mostly speaks Vampire Vords, but sometimes is caught not doing so.
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As a nod to this trope, in Rio, it’s revealed the three bird smugglers captured a bat by mistake who speaks in a thick Slavic accent.
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Webster: In one episode, Webster's classmates made fun of his adopted Greek grandfather's accent resembling this to their young ears.
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Milo Murphy's Law: Kyle Drako may or may not be an actual vampire, but if he isn't he's got the whole shtick down pat, including the accent.
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Beetleborgs: Fangula speaks with a strange combination of this and Not Even Bothering Withthe Accent. Also, when Van and Trip briefly become vampires in one episode, they start speaking the same way, possibly implying that a bad accent is a side effect of vampirism. Then again, they're children, and could just be playing the part as they've seen it.
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The Perry Bible Fellowship: Here, the vampire mother speaks in accent that replaces "w" with "v" and "th" with "z" or "zh".
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Vampire: The Masquerade: The Tzimisce were often characterized with this accent, probably to play up the Dracula connection. In later versions, this is a flaw and strongly implied to be a mental illness, although many of them actually do hail from Eastern Europe, at least.
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Monstrous Regiment: Whether Maledict is speaking Morporkian is a good question (and difficult to answer). An awful lot of puns don't work if you assume everyone's speaking Borogravian for most of the book, but why wouldn't they be?
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Dirge of Cerberus: Rosso the Crimson uses this accent to go along with her "sexy lady vampire" theme. The intent is to make her sound sensuous and dangerous, but she comes off sounding more like Natasha Fatale.
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Negima The Abridged Series has Evangeline McDowell speak in a comically thick Eastern European accent with plenty of V's. Yes, Evangeline McDowell. She's faking it to make up for the fact that she doesn't scare people as much as she wants to. Getting kicked in the head or otherwise losing her concentration makes her slip back into a comically thick British accent.
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The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!: The live portion of an episode has a vampire with a very cheesy Eastern European accent.
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Kedabory's Muppet Mania: In Alice Macro's episode, which is horror-themed, Kermit dresses as a vampire and does a "vampire voice", which is mostly just replacing "W"s in words with "V"s.
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Girl Genius: Used with the Jaegermonsters. In the comic's Steampunked Mitteleuropa (where, as historically, German is the language of business and international standard), everyone speaks perfect English due to the Translation Convention... except the Jaegers, who have thick German accents, conveying to the audience the same sort of connotations (a whole semi-species built of deliberately exaggerated Prussianisms) that their dialect conveys to the characters.
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Powerwolf: Attilla Dorn, the singer, while being German and speaking perfect German in real life, speaks with a heavy Eastern European accent while on stage and also in interviews, due to their band's style, which incorporates typical vampire clichés.
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Bugs Bunny: The vampire in "Transylvania 6-5000" speaks like this. As pointed out in Music above, two sound clips from this episode were used for the Gorillaz song "Dracula".
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Carpe Jugulum: None of the vampires use this accent (not even Bela, the old count). The inscription on the organ, however, reads "Hlisten to zee children of der night! Vot vonderful mhusick dey make!"
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A Pup Named Scooby-Doo: Parodied. An actor who plays a vampire on TV states that the accent comes from the fake fangs he wears.
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Garfieldand Friends: In "Count Lasagna", Jon and Garfield are both vampires and talk like this and constantly say "blah".
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Cars 2: Mater briefly dons a vampire truck disguise. Upon noticing it, he says "I vant to zyphon your gas".
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Heroes of Might and Magic: In HoMM3 the Vampire units from the Necropolis say “blech� when they attack.
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Yu-Gi-Oh! GX: The dub gives Camula a stereotypical vampire accent.
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The Satanic Rites of Dracula: Dracula briefly affects an Eastern European accent as a disguise.
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The Truth: Early in, William de Worde meets Otto Chriek, the vampire who will become his iconographer, and assumes that he's a vampire due to his thick Ãœberwalder accent. Otto isn't amused, since while, yes, he is a vampire, there are plenty of non-vampiric Ãœberwalders, and William wouldn't have thought to wonder whether he was a vampire if he had had a more "respectable" accent. A later book suggests that Otto exaggerates his native accent deliberately in public; if he acts like a music-hall vampire he's seen as a joke rather than a bloodsucking monster, and people relax around him, which is important in his job.
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Vampire Vords
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Dracula (2020): Downplayed; Dracula initially speaks like this when we first see him, but due to feeding on Jonathan he quickly learns proper English.
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Wheel of Fortune: This is commonly used by The Announcer Jim Thornton when he introduces hosts Pat Sajak and Vanna White on Halloween-themed episodes.
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The Jungle Bunch: Vladimir isn't a vampire, but has a whole vampire motif about him, including the accent.
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Legacy of Kain: While this is averted through most of the cast being vampires with upper-class British accents, Janos Audron plays the trope straight with a thick Slavic-esque accent.
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Dracula (1931): Bela Lugosi effectively made this trope. His thick Hungarian accent contrasted with the Dracula character from the original novel, who spoke comparatively better English.
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Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark: Parodied in "The Viper". An old woman who lives alone receives mysterious phone calls from someone who calls himself "the Viper." The Viper tells her that he is coming up to her apartment, repeatedly calling and letting her know he is on his way. At the story's end, there is a knock at the door, and the old woman answers it...revealing a little old man with a bucket and cloth who "vishes to vipe and vash the vindows."
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Mario & Luigi: Dream Team: Used by Antasma the King of Bats, the Big Bad. While he's not explicitly stated to be a vampire, he is strongly inspired by one appearance- and ability-wise, and speaks in a thick accent that replaces all doubleyous with vees.
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Transformers: Animated: "Along Came a Spider" has Bumblebee briefly use this accent while dressed as Dracula.
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The Laundry Files (by Charles Stross): In The Rhesus Chart, a couple of recently-turned vampires attempt to hypnotize a hematologist into giving them blood. They discover that hospitals don't keep large supplies of blood on hand due to the difficulties of storage, just ordering it on a case by case basis. Eventually one of them loses patience and tells her to stick a syringe in her arm. "I am a vampire and I vant to suck your blood!"
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The Vampire Dies in No Time: Draluc has this accent in the English dub.
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Final Fantasy: The Vampire from the remakes says "vorld" instead of "world".
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The Twilight Saga: The Romanian coven, formed of Stefan and Vladimir, have the accent. Or as Jacob calls them: Dracula 1 and Dracula 2.
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Codename: Kids Next Door: Count Spankulot has this. In "Operation: L.O.C.K.D.O.W.N." it's shown that anyone he turns into a spank-happy vampire will also acquire this accent.
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What We Do in the Shadows: Almost all vampires speak like this, but not all of them, as Nick retains his thick New Zealand accent after he gets bitten (and Petyr does not speak at all). Which makes it a Justified Trope, since the others do originally come from Eastern Europe.
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Jeopardy!: If the correct response to a clue has anything to do with Dracula, Alex Trebek can be counted on to say his name in this fashion.
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Shadow Hearts: Covenant: Joachim parodies this when he turns into his Golden Bat form. One of his victory lines is "I vant to suck your blood! Hehe, just kidding!"
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Fortunately, the Milk: Played with. A group of "wumpires" have a wery interesting vay of zpeaking.
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Kingdom of Loathing: Players wearing the Plastic Vampire Fangs will have the words "want", "suck", and "blood" in their in-game chat changed to pretty much what you'd expect.
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Hotel Transylvania: Dracula. Strangely, he's the only monster who has a non-American accent. Even the Egyptian mummy talks like... well, Cee Lo Green (his voice actor). Dracula's daughter Mavis sounds like a typical American teenager (give or take 100 years). However, Dracula is adamant that he has never said "bleh, bleh, bleh" and is annoyed when people who pretend to be vampires do it.
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Hellsing: One version gives Alucard a rather sexy Romanian accent in the English dub.
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Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines: Downplayed. The only vampire to use this accent is Andrei, an old-world Tzimisce who in all likelyhood actually is Eastern European. The guy who drives the cab (there appears to be only a single cab driver in the entirety of LA for some reason) does it too. He later turns out to also be a vampire, and possibly Caine on top of it.
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