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We Have Ways of Making You Talk

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This is a Stock Phrase often used by the leader of a faction to assure a defiant captive that they can get the information they want by less than normal means. Usually, pronounced "Vee haff VAYS of making hyu tok!"
Normally, this involves highly unorthodox interrogation and/or torture techniques, but these interrogators can usually spice things up with more extreme or less conventional methods. Note that heroes can do this too, they just tend to use inventive rather than cruel means.
Here are a few variants:
Torture: Cold-Blooded Torture, the Jack Bauer Interrogation Technique, Room 101, Robotic Torture Device and Electric Torture.
Psychological warfare: Tickle Torture, Why Did It Have to Be Snakes?, Interrogation by Vandalism, a potent Death Glare, Forced to Watch, paying them off, food, and really good sex. Forcing them to watch someone else suffer is a particularly cruel form.
Sometimes, this is subverted with the incredibly weird and ineffectual torture. For the torturer, it's their worst fear and they assume it can scare anyone, but for the "tortured" it's either not at all uncomfortable or actually pleasant.
Overlapping with the above two: To the Pain.
Drugs: Administering Truth Serums, alcohol, or other psychoactives to the subject to loosen his lips or at least reduce his ability to concoct plausible lies.
Phlebotinum and powers: An Agony Beam, Telepathy, the Jedi Mind Trick, Charm Person, Mind Control, infecting them with The Virus, using an illusionary world via Lotus-Eater Machine, etc.
Oddball: Of course, it could always be something that seems harmless at first but somehow nonetheless gets the job done: Maximum Fun Chamber, Happy Fun Ball and Anything but That!
Their method may or may not work, and may or may not be shown onscreen, in which case it probably involves Noodle Implements and Take Our Word for It. If Played for Laughs, may lead to Cool and Unusual Punishment.
The original given source of this phrase, The Lives of a Bengal Lancer in 1935, is actually a case of Beam Me Up, Scotty! — it's not the actual line.
Contrast Too Kinky to Torture. Not to be confused with I Have My Ways. If the Torture Technician does not himself say this, expect him to be nearby waiting to go about his work.
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Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls
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Gargamel says this to Clumsy in The Smurfs episode "The Chief Record Smurf" after Clumsy is given photographic memory and is able to perfectly recall Papa Smurf's invisibility formula.
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Parodied in one The Far Side comic, where an interrogator says they've tried every device and the guy still won't talk — "every device, that is, except this little baby we simply call 'Mr. Thingy'." Mr. Thingy is a miniature fishing pole with a carrot, a plunger, and an airhorn attached to it.
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Pokémon Detective Pikachu has the eponymous hero use this line on a Mr. Mime.
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The Lives of a Bengal Lancer (1935): The line originated in this movie, though it was actually, "We have ways to make men talk", and is commonly misquoted.
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In Tales of Monkey Island, though not spoken by Guybrush, the player can choose the line "I have ways of making you talk!" to frighten Bugeye in Chapter 3. The result is:
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In the Supernatural episode "Devil May Care" (S09, Ep02), Sam and Dean decide to leave Crowley alone to think realizing they are unable to torture the King of Hell.
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The Pandion Knights in The Elenium encourage rumors of the various ways of making you talk that they have. The intended result is that people will talk without the knights having to do any actual torturing.
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Robot Holocaust: The Dark One wants to know the secret of Jorn's invention, so Jorn is kidnapped and tortured & The Dragon Valeria threatens to do the same to Deeja. Jorn still doesn't budge.
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The Daffy Duck cartoon "Plane Daffy": Hatta Mari gets an American carrier pigeon to blab out many military secrets after slipping him a Mickey.
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The line is used, then subverted, in a Muppet Show sketch. A guard says this line to a prisoner (played by Ruth Buzzi), who then goes into an overwhelming stream of babble. The guard desperately threatens, "We have ways of making you stop talking!"
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Referenced in XCOM: Enemy Unknown. South America's continent bonus is "We Have Ways," and it allows the player to complete all autopsies of dead aliens and interrogations of live ones instantly.
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Ilsa from ''The Suite Life of Zack & Cody" did this to Maddie to get her to tell her and Mr. Moseby where London and Todd are hiding.
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Parodied in Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog when Scratch and Grounder capture someone they believe knows Sonic and Scratch threatens her with this exact sentence only for Grounder to ask "what ways?" which leads to Scratch's frustration, a dope slap and the response "stupid" which makes Grounder finally understand and say "yeah we have stupid ways of making you talk". Not.
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James Bond:
Subverted in Goldfinger, as Goldfinger activates a laser cutter on Bond.
Stated by M in Quantum of Solace, though she doesn't get the chance to follow through: "You will eventually tell us everything about the people you work with, and the longer it takes, the more painful we'll make it."
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Ringworld author Larry Niven played with this during an awards dinner that was running long — interrogating his lobster: "Now, wretched bottom-feeder, you will tell us of your troop movements!" He was afterwards nicknamed "Speaker-to-Seafood", a reference to the Kzin Ambassador, Speaker-to-Animals, who has a large role in the Ringworld series.
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In Hardcase, Major Tozar hopes that subjecting Jack to some Unwilling Suspension will loosen his tongue and make him tell a more interesting story about why he is looking for Simon Fuegus.
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In The Consul, the Secret Police Agent says this to Magda:
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Errant Story: Sarine threatens Jon with unnamed methods of extracting information from him about Meji and their travels.
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Star Trek: Deep Space Nine:
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Spoofed in the opening scene of Archer:
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Toy Story:
In Toy Story, Sid uses this line verbatim while pretending to interrogate Woody, as a pretext for burning Woody's forehead with a magnifying glass.
Though it was not mentioned, Barbie in Toy Story 3 had ways of making Ken talk. By ripping up his collector clothes.
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Used in a Kaeloo episode where Mr. Cat is dressed as a Nazi:
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Girl Genius: Othar defies this trope, only to have Klaus snark that he wishes he could make Othar not talk. Klaus also subverts this by explaining he intends to perform destructive experiments on Othar.
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The few times this line is used in Hogan's Heroes, Hogan immediately lampshades it by saying somebody's been watching too much American movies.
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Wonder Woman: Wonder Woman's lasso of truth forces people to truthfully answer her questions. It gives a different take on the trope.
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In Death Note, L uses this on both Light and Misa.
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M*A*S*H: In the third season episode "Officer of the Day", two Korean boys steal items from the camp, including Radar's teddy bear. When Hawkeye is interrogating them in the swamp, he uses this line verbatim (in a German accent, no less).
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Subverted in Goldfinger, as Goldfinger activates a laser cutter on Bond.
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In Animorphs, there are allusions to this with Visser Three in his attempts to glean information from Aftran, a prominent member of the Yeerk Peace Movement. She's rescued by Cassie before anything happens, fortunately.
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Raiders of the Lost Ark (even in the right accent):
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Appears as part of a game in the Star Trek: The Original Series fanfic Insontis. McCoy's roleplay character, Dr. Darkness, tells Captain Sunshine's (kid!Kirk's) captive sidekick (Spock) that "it will be much easier if you tell me what I want to know" while handling fake torture tools.
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Stated by M in Quantum of Solace, though she doesn't get the chance to follow through: "You will eventually tell us everything about the people you work with, and the longer it takes, the more painful we'll make it."
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In Toy Story, Sid uses this line verbatim while pretending to interrogate Woody, as a pretext for burning Woody's forehead with a magnifying glass.
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Though it was not mentioned, Barbie in Toy Story 3 had ways of making Ken talk. By ripping up his collector clothes.
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The Hannah Montana episode "Bye Bye Ball" parodies this: Jackson, who had been going through Sanity Slippage over the disappearance of his prized signed baseball, speaks this line in a German accent right before stuffing Oliver into his repulsive closet.
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In Code Geass R2, Suzaku prepares to interrogates Kallen with her biggest object of loathing bar the Britannian Empire, Refrain. He has a crisis of conscience and ultimately doesn't go through with it, but she does not take it well regardless.
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In the end of Bewitched! issue of Chick Tracts, Satan threatens his underling who failed to tempt his target into sin with this:
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Invoked by Nightcrawler (who, being German, certainly used the traditional pronunciation) in God Loves, Man Kills, to get information from Stryker's brainwashing expert. As he utters the phrase, he exposes his fanglike teeth in an extremely convincing ghoulish grin. That's all it takes — which is just as well, as he has profound ethical objections to torture.
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When asked how they got Danger Mouse to be their producer, Murdoc responded word-for-word in a Gorillaz interview.
In Danger Mouse on the Orient Express, Penfold is taken prisoner by spies under Greenback's employ trying to find a manuscript that our heroes swiped earlier. Vladimir, one of the spies uses the line "Ve vill make you talk!" (Penfold is telling them the truth—a fish ate the manuscript—but nobody believes him.)
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The Brave Little Toaster Goes to Mars: Calculator uses this line against Hearing Aid when the Little Master gets beamed into space:
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The "Poacher's Day" event in Granblue Fantasy has an Oddball variant – As the tourist skyfarers managed to round and tie up the Sea Urkin Poachers, they had a hard time getting information out of them, even after implying threats. That is until they hear the growling from the poacher's stomachs, to which Carren immediately brings out exotic fish lunch as the "bait". It works.
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The Imperial Inquisition of Warhammer 40,000 has the nine actions, their standard procedure for interrogation. The first action is a verbal interrogation. The second is a detailed explanation of what the other seven actions will entail.
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In Drowtales, Sillice does this to Chrys. Particularly disturbing when you recall that technically Chrys is Sillice's niece.
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Asterix the Gaul, with a bit more Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness than usual:
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Uttered to the word by Walton Simons in Deus Ex when interrogating a prisoner at the Unatco HQ. Wasn't a bluff either.
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Monty Python's Flying Circus:
"Cardinal Biggles... get... THE SOFT CUSHIONS!"
In the "Killer Joke" sketch a captured British soldier is tickled on the face with an enormous feather by a Gestapo officer, who also slaps him across the face (actually missing, with another officer behind him clapping his hands to make the sound).
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The terrorist's torture expert in True Lies. Samir is prepared to torture Harry for information. Harry does talk... about how he will escape.
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Subverted by The Stainless Steel Rat in Harry Harrison's sci-fi spoofs. Captured by the humourless Grey Men, Jim diGriz responds to this line by cheerfully offering to tell everything he knows straight away without the need for torture, as he quite reasonably tells his captors there is nothing that cannot be extracted from an interrogee by a suitably motivated and equipped interrogator. As his cracking under torture is merely a matter of time, he's prepared to speak up now, spare everybody the inconvenience and aggravation, and then we can all have an early night. How about it? The Grey Men then proceed to torture him anyway, because it's in the script and they can't deviate from it. And because they can.
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Subverted in Baccano!! 1934 — Alice in Jails. When Mad Scientist and Manipulative Bastard Huey Laforet is arrested and delivered to the FBI, he naturally expects that they're going to either interrogate, torture, or experiment on him for his incredibly valuable alchemical knowledge that he is withholding from them. Instead, Victor Talbot just has him sent to Alcatraz without so much as a trial, knowing exactly what happens to the interrogating party in those situations.
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In South Park while playing "Americans vs Bosnians", Cartman pins Kenny down and gives the stock phrase. And then he farts on him.
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Stated clearly if implicitly by Number Two in the opening sequence of The Prisoner, and paraphrased at least once by the same character in the show itself. True to their word, every single method listed in the trope description above is used at least once. None of them work.
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Lampshaded very well in an early issue of the New Avengers. The heroes needed information quickly and got into a local prison in order to get it from the inmates. Spider-Woman, backed up by Wolverine, Spider-Man, Luke Cage, and others, told the inmates that they were going to talk, and she had ways to make them do so. She then held up a bag of donuts and said whoever helped them would get a donut, and whoever didn't could have whatever the prison cafeteria was serving. Prisoner: "I'll tell you anything you want. Gimme a donut."
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An example from the 1943 anti-Nazi film Hangmen Also Die! about the aftermath of the assassination of Reinhard Heydrich, directed and written by Germans Fritz Lang & Bertolt Brecht respectively. Inspector Gruber says the following to Mascha when she says she doesn't have the information he wants during interrogation:
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In Gravity Falls Grand Finale, Bill Cipher threatens Ford Pines this way before inflicting Electric Torture on him in the next scene.
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The following is a list of statements referring to the current page from other pages.

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A Tortured Index
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Older Than Television
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Perp Sweating
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Threatening Tropes
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We Have Ways of Making You Talk
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We Have Ways of Making You Talk
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We Have Ways of Making You Talk
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We Have Ways of Making You Talk
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We Have Ways of Making You Talk
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We Have Ways of Making You Talk
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We Have Ways of Making You Talk
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We Have Ways of Making You Talk
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We Have Ways of Making You Talk
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We Have Ways of Making You Talk
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We Have Ways of Making You Talk
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We Have Ways of Making You Talk
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We Have Ways of Making You Talk
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We Have Ways of Making You Talk
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We Have Ways of Making You Talk
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