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Why Would Anyone Take Him Back?

 Why Would Anyone Take Him Back?
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 Why Would Anyone Take Him Back?
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Why Would Anyone Take Him Back?
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Primarily a film and literature trope, though not impossible on television.
Our romantic couple breaks up for some reason. We know, however, that everything will work out well in the end; misunderstandings will be solved, mistakes forgiven, they will end up happily together.
Sometimes one of the partners comes off as more of an ass than intended and reconciliation breaks the willing suspension of disbelief that the wounded partner would ever take the wounder back. We are forced to root for them, even if we feel that not only would the "hero" not be taken back — they absolutely shouldn't be.
Note that despite the title, this trope can happen with any gender combination.
This trope is often matched up with Love Martyr and/or All Take and No Give. Very much a defining feature of the Lifetime Movie of the Week brand of entertainment.
A sister trope to No Accounting for Taste. See also What Does She See in Him?, Easily Forgiven. For when there's a much better suitor involved, see Derailing Love Interests. Very often a case of Strangled by the Red String and/or Designated Love Interest.
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2024-02-03T03:01:54Z
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DBTropes
 Why Would Anyone Take Him Back? / int_1b77fe36
type
Two-Person Love Triangle
 Why Would Anyone Take Him Back? / int_1b77fe36
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In "Escape (The Piña Colada Song)", the protagonist is checking out personal ads in the middle of the night while his girlfriend is sleeping because he was "tired of my lady". He answers the ad, only to find out it was placed by his girlfriend. Not only were the two completely willing to cheat on each other with complete strangers, they apparently had never even bothered to discuss things they like to do with each other.
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 Why Would Anyone Take Him Back? / int_1bf94a24
type
The Movie
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The Movie has Homer's selfish behavior finally catch up with him, with Marge taking the kids and leaving, even recording a "Dear John" message over the video of their wedding. However, Homer realizes what he's done and races to win back Marge's love by proving that he really does care about more than just himself.
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 Why Would Anyone Take Him Back? / int_34889673
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Gender Flip
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comment
As the main entry states, Marge isn't safe from this either. In the episode "Milhouse of Sand and Fog", Bart and Milhouse try to get Milhouse's parents to split up again by placing one of Marge's bras in Kirk's bed, which Luanne finds and shows Homer who, understandably upset, confronts Marge, who then kicks him out of his own home. There's also the fact that any time Homer is involved in a plot where it looks like he may cheat, he's incredibly upset at the prospect, whereas Marge was actually contemplating cheating on Homer with Jacques. To be fair, that was in the first season, when the characters that everyone knows today clearly hadn't been fully decided yet.
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Long-Distance Relationship
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A lot of viewers felt that Elle and Noah's attempt at a Long-Distance Relationship just proved they were a toxic couple and would be better off apart; Elle is both deeply insecure about Noah cheating on her and hypocritically unfaithful to him with Marco, while Noah doesn't confide in Elle about the problems he was having at Harvard and hides that he's hanging out with Chloe due to her jealousy, which makes her assume the worst. They repeatedly demonstrate they both lie to each other, fail to communicate, and can't trust each other, on top of living thousands of miles apart, but the end of the movie has them happily reconciled.
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 Why Would Anyone Take Him Back? / int_3b113b7
type
Character Development
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Jesse tries to get back together with Rachel even after he was revealed to have been a mole for Shelby Corcoran, who wanted Jesse to reveal on her behalf that she's Rachel's biological mother. He ended up betraying New Directions and luring Rachel into a trap where Vocal Adrenaline could throw eggs at her (although it's implied his reammates forced him to do it). The entire Glee club is furious at Jesse and pretty convinced he never liked Rachel to begin with, and he doesn't even apologize to the team he betrayed, just trying to suck up to Rachel. Rachel ends up turning him down, which is pretty much the only sensible thing she did all season; it was only after several seasons of Character Development that Jesse could genuinely apologize.
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 Why Would Anyone Take Him Back? / int_3ed23024
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Surprisingly Realistic Outcome
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Rumple and Belle's relationship ran on this. While it seemed like a sweet and touching romance at first, Season 2B had Belle learning that Rumple murdered his first wife, Rumple exploiting Belle's personality rewrite into "Lacey" until it was no longer convenient for him to do so, and we learn in flashback of an incident where Rumple relentlessly tortured a man in Belle's presence and had made her clean his blood-soaked clothes in addition to treating her very poorly. When the two of them get married in Season 3B, Rumple's proposal came with giving Belle his Dark One dagger to signify that he trusts her with some control in the relationship only for that to turn out to be a fake dagger, as Rumple uses the real one to kill Zelena behind Belle's back, and from there continues to lie to Belle and even gaslight her at various points in Season 4A until Belle finally learns the truth and banishes him from Stroybrooke using the real dagger. Rumple goes on to, in 4B, cyber-stalk Belle online, actually stalk her when he's back in Storybrooke, and have reality rewritten so that Belle is now his loving wife. Yet after all this, Belle takes a seemingly reformed and heroic Rumple back in Season 5A and they even have sex off-screen...which is followed by us learning that Rumple has become the Dark One AGAIN and is deceiving Belle AGAIN. Belle has to learn the truth from an unapologetic Rumple in 5B and then in Season 6, the relationship hits its lowest point, with Rumple acting like an abusive ex-boyfriend menacing Belle constantly because he wants to take possession of their child that she's pregnant with (Gideon), and he even threatens to use the shears of fate on her to sever the baby's connection to his mother, fully intent on stealing the baby away from Belle to raise on his own. Even when both of Gideon's parents become more united in hopes of saving him from a terrible fate in 6B, Rumple betrays Belle's trust one final time by siding with his evil mother, the Black Fairy, for the coming final battle behind her back. But by the end of the season and on into Season 7, it's as though none of that ever happened and we're asked to root for Rumple and Belle's Happily Ever After, something far too many fans found to be an impossible sell.
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 Why Would Anyone Take Him Back? / int_4832a3bb
type
Always Chaotic Evil
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comment
It's somewhere between implicit and explicit in the setting that ALL elf/human relationships that last longer than a night fall into this category, essentially because elves are Always Chaotic Evil to the point that even the 'good' ones are only comparatively good because they don't immediately resort to murder every time their tea is too hot or it rains on their picnic. Note that absentee parents are pretty much universal among the errants outside of the epilogue, so most of the long-term relationships end in the human NOT taking them back.
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 Why Would Anyone Take Him Back? / int_5ff56a1f
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Long List
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Any episode where Marge considers leaving Homer only to take him back. A memorable incident is "The War of the Simpsons" when they go to a marriage retreat and Marge has a Long List of her husband's faults and even Rev. Lovejoy agrees with her. Homer throws back the fish he caught and that is enough to make up for everything else, as the two happily head home. This was seasons before he became a Jerkass. While the fish was meant to be a symbol that he actually did love her more than anything else, the example still holds up. It also goes both ways. Marge has repeatedly done things to Homer that show her to be petty and vindictive, and with a bit of a wandering heart/eye.
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 Why Would Anyone Take Him Back? / int_629fa757
type
Perfectly Arranged Marriage
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comment
Then there's Apu and Manjula. In her first episode, it looks like they have a Perfectly Arranged Marriage. Then they have eight babies, which is understandably stressful. But Apu cheats on her because they'd become distant due to the stress of raising their children, which caused them both to act in ways that were unacceptable and detrimental to their relationship. When the affair is discovered it's a wonder either of them takes the other back, especially when you again recall that first episode, where Manjula herself says "If it doesn't work out, we can always get a divorce."
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 Why Would Anyone Take Him Back? / int_72e0023f
type
Invoked Trope
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comment
Invoked with Robin and Simon. Right after Robin helped him load all of his band's equipment into his van, he then announces that he's leaving her for Louise Marsh, because her parents have a pool. All her friends tell her she shouldn't go back to him, but she does anyway. By the end of the episode, Simon dumps her exactly the same way he did the first time, for the exact same girl no less (now her parents have a Jacuzzi).
 Why Would Anyone Take Him Back? / int_72e0023f
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 Why Would Anyone Take Him Back? / int_7b6e47a5
type
Armor-Piercing Question
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comment
Keitaro can not longer take being physically abused and beaten up by his girlfriend Naru and the rest of the Hinata Inn girls. After he quits being the inn's manager and moves into an apartment owned by Motoko's uncle Shinsuke, the Hinata girls and his grandmother repeatedly try to beg, manipulate, and force him to come back. Keitaro makes it clear he absolutely will not, and breaks up with Naru because of her horrid personality. After Naru's half-assed and insulting pleads fail, she starts calling Keitaro a useless pervert who only wanted Naru for her body and left the inn just because she wouldn't give in to "his perverted desires." At which point Keitaro asks if all of that is true, and he is really as useless and perverted as she claims, then why does Naru want him back as the manager of the Hinata Inn.
 Why Would Anyone Take Him Back? / int_7b6e47a5
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 Why Would Anyone Take Him Back? / int_808cbaeb
type
Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking
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comment
Spike tried to kill her multiple times, tried to rape her once, and made a sexbot version of her. She still dates him on and off through the later parts of the show.
 Why Would Anyone Take Him Back? / int_808cbaeb
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 Why Would Anyone Take Him Back? / int_8b68d9a7
type
Stalker with a Crush
 Why Would Anyone Take Him Back? / int_8b68d9a7
comment
Ted and Jeanette, a crazy Stalker with a Crush who frequently broke Ted's things over minor offenses. After they break up, Ted wanted to get back together with her, much to the disappointment and frustration of his friends. Future!Ted admits this was a big mistake, and their second breakup ends with Jeanette setting most of Ted's belongings on fire. Over the years, Ted would admit that he was never really in love with her to begin with; he was just started to get desperate to find someone to love, and Jeanette was obviously attracted to him, so he tried harder than he should have to make it work.
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 Why Would Anyone Take Him Back? / int_8c49c29e
type
Zig-Zagging Trope
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Zig-zagged in Lily and Marshall's case. At the end of Season 1, Lily dumps Marshall shortly before their wedding and runs off to San Francisco. Since the story is being told in Flashback, it's a Foregone Conclusion that they get back together. But over the course of the rest of the series — and especially in Season 2 — we see a lot of how Marshall didn't initially want to get back together with her and how Lily had to work herself back into Marshall and Ted's good graces. (It's also a Running Gag that Marshall's mother never forgave her.) It's best done in the Christmas Episode after they get back together when Lily discovers an old message Ted sent Marshall during this period that spoke very poorly of her; Lily refuses to accept Ted's apology, only for Ted to turn around and call her out on abandoning not just Marshall, but all of their friends, too.
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Took a Level in Jerkass
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Serena took back Dan, even after he admitted that he was only trying to make her fall in love with him again so that he could have writing material — which he was planning to use for a hatchet job on her. He didn't go through with it, and Serena's taste in men had already proven to be... debatable, but still. The rest of the gang would mirror Serena's non-antipathy toward Dan on a platonic level after he was revealed to be Gossip Girl.
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Super Couple
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The writers managed to do this to their Super Couple, Chuck and Blair. Chuck sold her to his creepy uncle in exchange for a hotel; even though most fans at that point wanted them to get back together, it was a stretch as to how they'd accomplish that. What ended up happening was that Chuck picked up a ton of Character Development and became a Love Martyr, while Blair became increasingly self-centered and unlikeable and relentlessly toyed with Chuck's emotions, now leaving the fans wondering why Chuck would ever take Blair back.
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Values Dissonance
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All this means that, despite the Values Dissonance of the time the opera was written, she'd be perfectly within her rights to have him dance the humiliation conga some more. But, because she's 'kinder than him', she forgives him almost right off the bat. (One only wonders how long he's going to stay faithful this time...)
In Beaumarchais' third Figaro play The Guilty Mother (1792), which is set 20 years after the "Marriage", it turns out that in the interim the Countess had a son with Cherubin (who died in battle), while the Count had an illegitimate daughter. Wacky hijinks ensue, not least because the two children fall in love with each other. This third part of the trilogy, however, was only turned into an opera in 1966 (by Darius Milhaud).
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X-Pac Heat
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Believe it or not, this trope is tangentially responsible for naming the X-Pac Heat trope. After D-Generation X had broken up, X-Pac had feuded with the members of the stable who had turned heel (Triple H, Chyna, Billy Gunn) and started a tag team with Kane. There was absolutely no reason for him to go back to working for Triple H when he'd been getting standing ovations for kicking Trips in the face. But X-Pac rejoined D-X and backstabbed Kane for no damn reason. His career never really recovered from this ill-timed heel turn.
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Double Standard: Abuse, Female on Male
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Despite Duncan and Courtney having an extremely dysfunctional relationship in the second season, including physical violence towards each other (mostly from Courtney), they end up back together by the start of the third, much to the dismay of many fans (especially those who shipped Duncan/Gwen). The third season had Duncan cheat on Courtney with Gwen, and Duncan and Courtney's dysfunctional relationship contributed to the huge Broken Base over who was sympathetic in that situation.
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Felony Misdemeanor
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The Countess sunk to the new low of having to conspire with servants to teach him a lesson, which was pretty... bad in said cases (seriously, she actually has a song about how terrible this is)
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LastMinuteHookUp
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Again in season 6, Lorelai asks Luke to put their engagement on hold because of her fall out with Rory and he agrees. Then, it is him who asks her the same thing when his long-lost daughter April shows up in order to get to know her properly since he didn't even know about her existence. This results in their relationship becoming strained: Luke asks Lorelai not to get involved with April at all, even though she is to become his wife, and Lorelai tries to go along with it, but as time passes, she grows increasingly frustrated as she feels excluded from Luke's life, even though she doesn't talk to him about her feelings, while he becomes more and more distant from her because of April. At the end of the season, she grows tired of the situation and suddenly freaks out, giving him an ultimatum to get married "now or never", but since for him it is out of the blue due to her not having told him anything about how she felt, he asks for some more time to figure things out. Her answer? She calls off the engagement and literally five minutes later sleeps with Christopher, Rory's dad. When Luke finds out at the beginning of season 7, the relationship between him and Lorelai is of course definitely over. Then, Lorelai goes further, deciding to rekindle her relationship with Christopher and soon even ends up married to him: it doesn't last, but she and Luke somehow get back together anyway with a Last Minute Hook Up. Even after all this crap.
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Slap-Slap-Kiss
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Todd and Meldel have a Slap-Slap-Kiss dynamic that is exhausting. Todd always interrupts Meldel and talks down to her, while Meldel tells him off for being a condescending jerk. Zoe notes that if they were not in fandom, they would have broken up a long time ago. There's also the fact that Todd makes an embarrassing video of Zoe that goes viral, without Zoe's consent and turning her into a fandom laughingstock. While it ends up saving the show they were watching, Zoe doesn't attend conventions with her friends for months, and when she gets the courage to attend one (her friend and parents make her go to help mend her broken heart) people sing the song in the video when they recognize her. That would have been grounds for Meldel to break up with Todd and make him pay the consequences. Instead, she says his punishment is he'll be in her next book. Yeah.
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Intended Audience Reaction
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The 2023 reboot has this as an Intended Audience Reaction with Chase and Emma. Before the show, Emma dumped Chase because he cut the brakes to her car as a Prank Gone Too Far and is totally unwilling to apologize, instead just expecting her to come back to him. After the merge, they end up in a life-threatening situation and Emma believes Chase apologized for his behavior, quickly shifting back in love with him despite no other indication that he'd changed. However, when she learns he wasn't even apologizing for that, she gets mad at him again. But by his elimination episode, Emma believes he gave up the challenge for her and takes him back... except he was only motivated by the pizza Chris and Chef used to tempt him off the poles. She mentions they had "good times" together, but there's no indication Chase is anything but a narcissistic jerk who can't see when he's wrong and feels entitled to Emma. Every other character thinks that Emma taking Chase back is a terrible decision, even her best friend Bowie (which ruins their friendship), Julia and Chris.
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Platonic Life-Partners
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Lee spends most of the film sidelining Rachel in favor of Elle, including bailing on their date and leaving her outside the cinema for 40 minutes in the dark. His idea of apologizing (the first time) is to publicly air their relationship problems at school, after which he continues to neglect her and fails to tell Elle they want space even when Rachel gives him an ultimatum. It's unsurprising that Rachel dumps him, only for them to get back together after Elle sets them up to smooch at the kissing booth... even though this addresses none of the problems they've been having.
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Why Would Anyone Take Him Back?

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