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You're Drinking Breast Milk

 You're Drinking Breast Milk
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You're Drinking Breast Milk
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A character — usually a man — is a guest in the home of a woman with small children. He gets thirsty, opens the fridge, finds a container of milk, and starts drinking. Then, the homeowner comes along and informs him, "You're drinking breast milk."
Invariably, the character doing the drinking will be squicked out, and disgustedly spit out the milk. The audience's reaction will vary quite a bit more, considering how funny such scenes can be if done well, and the fact that in Real Life there are many people who have a Fetish for lactation, breast milk or both; not to mention that there's nothing inherently bad in breast milk in itself and (virtually) everyone drank it at some point in their lives anyway.
In Real Life, human milk is much, much sweeter than bovine or goat milk, and not as thick; the guy who was drinking it should have realized it wasn't what he thought it was without someone else telling him. After all, it's meant to be used for human consumption, far more than any other type of milk. It makes more sense if the milk is being used to complement coffee or breakfast cereal.
Usually a Comedy Trope. For obvious reasons, you'll see less of it the more kid-friendly a work is... it tends to pop up more in PG-13 or R-rated films and comedy series that are geared more specifically toward adult audiences. (Which is kind of odd, given that breast milk is mainly for children.)
Subtrope of I Ate WHAT?!. Can coincide with Fetishes Are Weird if someone is purposely drinking breast milk.
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2023-10-19T09:16:25Z
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Not exactly drinking, but in a guest-hosted episode of Good Mythical Morning, Rosanna Pansino and iJustine are given various lollipops while blindfolded and asked to guess their flavours. The last lollipop they try is - you guessed it - breast milk flavour (this is spoiled in the thumbnail for the video).
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Hunter of Suicide for Hire would prefer this kind of milk. Just ignore the fact that they're anthros.
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Served as a funny moment during the "Improbable Mission" sketch on Whose Line Is It Anyway? (US version). Ryan and Colin have to prepare breakfast for some foreign dignitary. Colin, a genetically modified agent, complains at one point that he lacks a "coffee gene", to which Ryan replies, "I'm not talking about coffee, Mr. Moo!" Cue uproarious laughter.
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Invoked in a sketch on The Kenny Everett Video Show when aging rocker Sid Snot orders a cup of tea from a roadside van. The woman serving asks if he wants sugar. He says yes and she reaches into her cleavage and pulls out a couple of sugar cubes which she drops in his tea. She then asks "Milk?" and he gives a knowing look to camera and says "You wouldn't dare."
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The Boys (2019). Averted with Homelander who has a fetish for the breast milk of his mother-figure Stillwell.
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In Peep Show Jeremy deliberately uses Sophie's breast milk in coffee as he and Mark have run out of cow's milk. He enjoys his coffee but Mark is disgusted when he realise what it is he's drinking and refuses to drink any more saying its practically cannibalism.
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In Little Man, Darryl and Calvin, played by Shawn and Marlon Wayans, respectively, were bonding by drinking what they thought was cow's milk until Darryl's wife, Vanessa, pointed out that they were drinking a neighbor's breast milk, causing them to do a spit take.
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In Neurotically Yours, Germaine, after getting fired from her job at the coffee shop, revealed to the customers that the cream in their coffee was actually her breast milk.
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Happened in the office on Close to Home (2005). Annabeth is expressing and storing her breast milk in the fridge. One of her male co-workers ends up putting her breast milk in his coffee.
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American Dad! did an episode all about this with Francine in extreme My Beloved Smother mode. She's revealed to have secretly fed Steve her breastmilk for years, and has it pumped out in a creepy basement bunker that's basically a shrine to Steve when he was a toddler. After Francine manipulates Steve into thinking he won't survive without her milk, the two are caught as Steve literally drinks from her breasts in front of the rest of the family and the entire town. The two are branded freaks and Stan forces them to stay in the basement. Roger initially offers to make a documentary to show the world how Steve and Francine are "perfectly normal," but he gave up as things got even creepier. That's right, Steve and Francine were turning into such freaks that it made Roger uncomfortable. His reaction was almost identical to the one he had when he saw Stan happily sharing a bath with his mother while scrubbing her vagina clean.
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Mad Max: Fury Road: Captive women are farmed for their breast milk, which is one of the Citadel's trade goods with the other warlords in Immortan Joe's alliance. At one point the title character starts washing the blood off his face in a bucket of the stuff. He's surprised when told what it is, but keeps going. Earlier Rictus is also shown drinking a bottle of breast milk which clearly meets his approval.
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In Look Who's Talking, James, played by John Travolta, borrows Mikey's milk bottle to put milk in his coffee. Mollie, played by Kirstie Alley, helpfully chimes in with the trope name.
The gag is actually played out again at the end of the same scene, when James announces he's leaving with his coffee and "his breast milk."
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Justified in Blade of Toshubi. The character drinking it's insensate, and his hostess (an anthropomorphic cow), has to feed him somehow, so she breastfeeds him.
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One strip of Seitokai Yakuindomo has Suzu's mom claim that this is the secret to her home cooking.
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Early on in the Zootopia fanfic, Guardian Blue Season 1, a thirsty Nick is told by Stu to pick whatever he wants off the Hopps family's fridge. He ends up picking, and enjoying, the breast milk from Eli, one of Judy's sisters who has a very young kit. When he's finally told he drank bunny milk instead, Nick is suitably embarrassed and even feeling guilty, but then Eli excuses herself to the outside of the burrow and promptly bursts out laughing. Even then, Nick is the first to apologize when Eli turns in early, predicting that her baby will want a feeding in the middle of the night. It becomes a heartwarming brick joke later on, when Eli sends via the family a bottle to Nick as a humorous "get better soon" gift when he gets out of the hospital after Judy rescues him from Hell's Cauldron; when he finally gets to gulp it down, we have this scene:
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Happens accidentally in Grown Ups, with Maria Bello as a mother who's not only still lactating but able to feed her four-year-old, and Maya Rudolph, who gets it all over her face. Her response? "It's actually not that bad."
Later in the same movie, the toddler is successfully weaned off of it, leaving the mother to ask "what am I supposed to do with it now?" Her husband says he has an idea in mind.
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This came up once on Designing Women, when Suzanne almost used milk Charlene had expressed for her infant daughter in her coffee.
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On The Ricky Gervais Show, he complained that a neighbor once made him a dessert from breast milk.
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On A Different World, Jalessa left breast milk in the fridge. Ron uses the milk to make pina coladas for a bachelor party. As they are drinking, the babysitter explains that was breast milk. Cue multiple spit takes.
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Not explicitly stated to be breast milk, but in Creature Tech, Dr. Ong drinks from a cup at a group picnic before being told that family doesn't have a cow. Assuming he's being ostracized or mocked for being an atheist...
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Little Britain had a recurring skit about a grown man who was still breast-fed by his mother ("Bitty?"). At one point when they're having tea the father asks if she can spare any milk, so she sprays a little into his cup. The fiancée is thoroughly Squicked, but still marries him for some reason.
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In Borat, the title character from Kazakhstan nonchalantly informs the American senator he's speaking with that the cheese he's feeding the senator was made from his wife's own breast milk.
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On Impractical Jokers, one of Sal's punishments involves him drinking breast milk. Murr is tricked into drinking it as well even though it wasn't his punishment (the guys made him think it was a dual-punishment).
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In 1971's Sunday Bloody Sunday, Bob, babysitting a houseful of kids, with his girlfriend Alex, finds a small, odd looking container of milk in the refrigerator and asks the eldest daughter if it's all right for him to drink, and she respond that it's milk her mother had expressed for her infant brother, as "he isn't weaned yet".
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An El Goonish Shive guest comic by the creators of The Wotch subverted this. The comic is set up to make the readers (and Elliot) think Tedd filled a carton with milk after transforming into a literal cow girl, causing Elliot to run off and vomit. However, this wasn't the case and the milk was simply expired.
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During a Minecraft stream by hololive Virtual YouTuber Gura Gawr, Gura comes across a milk vending machine and happily takes a sip. However, she then notices a sign on the side of the machine that implies that the milk was extracted from her fellow VTuber Ina'nis Ninomae, causing her to use the adjacent vending machine to get some cookies as Brain Bleach.
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An early conversation between a frazzled first-time mother Lori and her new nanny Francesca in Aunt Dimity Digs In:
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In Chakona Space, Chakats normally drink each other's milk. But there's one story where a Chakat wet nurse's roommate plays this trope completely straight, for several months before shi tells hir where the stuff in hir coffee came from.
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In an early Least I Could Do Rayne mistakenly drinks the breast milk from a girl's fridge. He takes it in stride:
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One episode of Friends features Ross being squicked out because Phoebe tastes some of Carol's expressed breast milk when heating it up for Ben. Joey then subsequently tastes it, to prove to Ross that it's not a big deal. Ross still refuses it, stating that it's gross, until Carol and Susan tell him that he's being silly and that they've both sampled it (Susan's tone being innuendo-filled doesn't help matters). Even then, it takes him a while to "build up" to sampling it and he has to stuff cookies in his mouth to distract himself from what he just did. Ross' reluctance to try it is contrasted with a scene earlier in the episode where he scolds Chandler and Joey for being awkward when Carol breastfeeds in front of them.
A variation, Joey drinks formula, mistaking it for eggnog. Upon being informed it was formula, he didn't care, he just wanted more because it tasted good (though being Joey, it's possible he didn't know what "formula" was).
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 You're Drinking Breast Milk
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Comedy Tropes
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Mistaken for Index
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Pregnancy Tropes
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