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The New Statesman
- 271 statements
- 52 feature instances
- 24 referencing feature instances
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The New Statesman was an award winning British comedy program in which Rik Mayall played the evil Alan B'Stard, an utterly venal and corrupt Conservative MP who stopped at nothing to further his career, and/or make piles of money. Other characters included his wife Sarah, who was a very good (or rather evil) match for her husband, and Alan's brainless, spineless and much-abused flunky Piers Fletcher-Dervish.The show ran for 4 seasons from 1987 to 1992, with a final special made in 1994, and was revived as a theatre production in 2006.Came sixty-first in Britains Best Sitcom. Not to be confused with the New Statesman, a left-leaning political magazine based in the UK (though many of its readers probably appreciated this series). | |
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| The New Statesman / int_137f2d7 | type |
Card-Carrying Villain | |
| The New Statesman / int_137f2d7 | comment |
Card-Carrying Villain: Alan has been known to switch parties based solely on which political platform will allow him to rip more people off. | |
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Suddenly Bilingual | |
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Suddenly Bilingual: In one episode, Alan B'Stard is on trial, and one of his fake witnesses is pretending to be a chief of a native South American tribe. It turns out that the prosecuting lawyer can speak the language of that tribe, having been a fag for the tribe's high chief while they were both at Eton College. | |
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| The New Statesman / int_2a4e8051 | type |
Sexual Karma | |
| The New Statesman / int_2a4e8051 | comment |
Sexual Karma: Unsympathetic Comedy Protagonist Alan is an absolutely terrible person, and his kinky sexual tastes reflect this. He's also very poorly-endowed and absolutely terrible in bed. | |
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The Bad Guy Wins | |
| The New Statesman / int_2e8441c9 | comment |
The Bad Guy Wins: Many episodes end with Alan attaining some form of victory even when he does not achieve his primary goals. The series as a whole ends with Alan becoming Lord Protector and head of state of Great Britain. | |
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| The New Statesman / int_30ed4f7d | type |
Sleazy Politician | |
| The New Statesman / int_30ed4f7d | comment |
Sleazy Politician: Everyone, with the possible exceptions of Sir Stephen Baxter and Bob Crippen. Piers gradually turns into this over the course of the series, though isn't very good at it, e.g. demanding a bribe of £1.50 for important information. | |
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| The New Statesman / int_34dcfc96 | type |
Kick the Dog | |
| The New Statesman / int_34dcfc96 | comment |
Kick the Dog: Alan does this all the time. More often than not, however, it bites back. | |
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Villainous Incest | |
| The New Statesman / int_35884ee7 | comment |
Villainous Incest: Between Alan and his mother. Just check out how they say their goodbye at the end of "Keeping Mum". | |
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Secret Test of Character | |
| The New Statesman / int_3f7a958b | comment |
Secret Test of Character: In the final episode of Series 1, Alan is trying to set up a lucrative business deal with an American hamburger mogul and his wife. Near the end of the negotiations, the couple suddenly suggests a wife-swapping session to seal the deal, which is more than a little problematic since Norma is posing as Alan's wife and hasn't completely finished her gender reassignment surgery (more specifically, she still has a penis). As a result, Alan has to repeatedly insist that he is a devout Christian and wife-swapping goes against his religion. It eventually turns out that the American couple actually are devout Christians, and were just trying to make sure Alan was a moral enough person for them to do business with. | |
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| The New Statesman / int_43a46119 | type |
Surrounded by Idiots | |
| The New Statesman / int_43a46119 | comment |
Surrounded by Idiots Alan's attitude towards everyone. | |
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Butt-Monkey | |
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Butt-Monkey: Piers | |
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President Evil | |
| The New Statesman / int_4c554daf | comment |
President Evil: The series ended with Alan becoming "Lord Protector" of England note Britain's only two republican heads of state, Oliver Cromwell and son Richard, used this title. | |
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Kavorka Man | |
| The New Statesman / int_4f62bde6 | comment |
Kavorka Man: Alan is very good-looking and well turned-out (and rich), but he treats women so badly and his personality is so repellent, it's amazing any female would be in the same room as him, let alone the same bed. Nonetheless, his stream of affairs is constant. Although it's played with, since the women in question usually end up regretting it — partly due to his repellent personality and partly because he's a poorly-endowed terrible lover. | |
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Disproportionate Retribution | |
| The New Statesman / int_50b05d30 | comment |
Disproportionate Retribution: In Who Shot Alan B'stard?, Alan implied he once beheaded his pet dog (he was actually trying to hang the animal) for peeing on his Nelson Mandela poster. | |
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Unholy Matrimony | |
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Unholy Matrimony: Alan and Sarah, forever and ever. | |
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Dick Dastardly Stops to Cheat | |
| The New Statesman / int_60fb097 | comment |
Alan's overwhelming election victory at the beginning of the series is shown as due to him arranging for his two rival candidates to crash their cars into each other, leaving them fighting for their lives in hospital. In fact, Labour and Alliance voters would not have switched their votes to Alan just because their favoured candidate might be dead before long. They would rather have a chance to vote for their preferred party again at a by-election than be stuck with a Tory MP for five years.note Dick Dastardly Stops to Cheat was presumably intended to be in effect here, as rural Yorkshire seats such as the fictional Haltemprice are typically among the absolute safest in the entire country for the Conservative Party, meaning Alan's goal was likely to earn an exaggeratedly huge majority in a seat he was already all-but-guaranteed to win. However, there's no guarantee taking the other candidates out would have helped Alan out in this regard; if anything, it may actually have reduced his majority, as the injured candidates would likely have gotten some sympathy votes. | |
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Gag Penis | |
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Gag Penis: It is repeatedly implied that Piers is very well endowed, though he's too stupid to realise it. | |
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| The New Statesman / int_7a265daa | type |
Eagleland | |
| The New Statesman / int_7a265daa | comment |
Eagleland: In the stage show Condoleezza Rice is very much an example of type two, she announces a plan to bomb Iran and when Alan asks if she can identify it on a map she haughtily announces "I'm an American!" folds arms "Of course not!" | |
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| The New Statesman / int_7febc23b | type |
Establishing Character Moment | |
| The New Statesman / int_7febc23b | comment |
Establishing Character Moment: B'Stard's very first action in the show has him winning the Haltemprice by-election and retaining his seat by cutting the brakes on the cars of his Labour and SDP opponents, landing them both in hospital in critical conditions. | |
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| The New Statesman / int_81ae2774 | type |
Evil Matriarch | |
| The New Statesman / int_81ae2774 | comment |
Evil Matriarch: Alan's mother is just as morally bankrupt and greedy as he is, perhaps the only person in the whole run of the show who meets him completely on his own level. For added ickyness, at the end of her episode there's way more than a hint that there's affinity in their equality even as they try to kill and screw-over one another. | |
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| The New Statesman / int_823c6e3e | type |
Large Ham | |
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Large Ham: Alan during some of his speeches. | |
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| The New Statesman / int_82b4f38e | type |
Unsympathetic Comedy Protagonist | |
| The New Statesman / int_82b4f38e | comment |
Unsympathetic Comedy Protagonist: Alan, in one of the most extreme examples. He is a lying, cheating, greedy, manipulative, elitist and ultra-right wing megalomaniac who abuses those around him, regularly cheats on his wife and will even go as far as murder to achieve his aims. Despite all this, the audience still roots for him. | |
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Villain Protagonist | |
| The New Statesman / int_898ff050 | comment |
Villain Protagonist: Alan. | |
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Took a Level in Jerkass | |
| The New Statesman / int_8cb1a369 | comment |
Took a Level in Jerkass: Alan was no angel in series one, but his cruelty was upped several levels between series one and two, he became rather homophobic and racist, and it might seem impossible but he somehow became even MORE sexist. | |
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Asshole Victim | |
| The New Statesman / int_8ed5c6e4 | comment |
Asshole Victim: The Tory rising star that Alan eliminates as a threat at the beginning of Series 3 is basically just Alan, but a lot dumber. Alan when left to rot in Siberia also counts. | |
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Karmic Death | |
| The New Statesman / int_90d44f44 | comment |
Karmic Death: Inverted - B'Stard is saved from death by his own greed and dishonesty when, after he gets the death penalty brought back and then arranges for one of his companies to get the contract to build the new gallows, he becomes the first person sentenced to hang (for a crime he didn't actually commit) - but the gallows breaks because he had it built on the cheap, his survival is deemed an act of God and he is reprieved. | |
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Lousy Lovers Are Losers | |
| The New Statesman / int_93b92ca4 | comment |
Lousy Lovers Are Losers: A Running Gag with Alan B'Stard is that he tends to be very quick in bed in regards to sex and is poorly endowed. As such, the women who have sex with him usually regret it, if not by that, then by his very repellant personality and very homophobic, racist, and sexist views. Not that he ever realizes this, as he thinks that he is a good lover. | |
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Cross-Cast Role | |
| The New Statesman / int_985d3ad0 | comment |
Crosscast Role: Norma(n) is played by a woman throughout the first series, even during the first couple of episodes when he's still meant to be fully male. | |
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Marriage of Convenience | |
| The New Statesman / int_9b34ee31 | comment |
Marriage of Convenience: Alan and Sarah despise each other, with the two cheating constantly, however remain married since it benefits both of them (Sarah loves the wealth and power that comes from being married to Alan, while Alan needs Sarah, as her father controls the local branch of the Conservatives and holds Alan's seat in his gift). | |
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Upper-Class Twit | |
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Upper-Class Twit: Piers. Lord Penistone even more so. | |
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Karma Houdini | |
| The New Statesman / int_a70223 | comment |
Karma Houdini: Alan always gets away with everything, usually managing to further his career and/or make a fortune in the process. Even moments where it looks like he's finally about to get his comeuppance he manages to spin around and come up smelling of roses. | |
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Wedding Episode | |
| The New Statesman / int_aa5b4f2c | comment |
Wedding Episode: "May The Best Man Win" centres around the wedding between Piers and his fiancee, Clarissa. Alan doesn't want this to happen however, especially when Clarissa tells him that Piers will stop being his lackey after she marries him. After several attempts to kill her, he eventually ruins the reception by lacing the food with salmonella and botulism. | |
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Oh, Crap! | |
| The New Statesman / int_ad1db87c | comment |
Oh, Crap!: When Alan is finally returned home from Siberia he immediately makes a veiled threat on television to the people who betrayed him (Sarah and Piers), the latter is shown to be clearly terrified and attempts to solicit police protection which Alan immediately circumvents by bribing the officer on duty. | |
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For the Evulz | |
| The New Statesman / int_adfd3165 | comment |
For the Evulz:. Sarah leaves Alan to rot in a gulag in Siberia for three years when she could have easily asked for his release, 'because she can'. | |
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| The New Statesman / int_b219ac90 | type |
ReTool | |
| The New Statesman / int_b219ac90 | comment |
Retool: Twice. There was a major one between series one and two (several characters vanish without explanation, Sarah goes from being in love with Alan's (female) press agent to being a complete nymphomaniac (unusually, her bisexuality remained), more focus on Alan's money-making schemes and less on his political schemes). There was also a comparatively minor retool at the beginning of season four when the shift to the European Parliament allowed for complete change in sets, storylines and the majority of the cast outside Alan, Sarah and Piers. The fourth season also slightly changed the opening, where the final picture of Alan was him looking somewhat older and more cunning than in his original picture, which is fitting given how much more successful he is in season 4, even taking over Britain in the last episode. | |
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Take That! | |
| The New Statesman / int_b53077b3 | comment |
Take That!!: To the Conservative Party in general during the 1980s, but especially 'Thatcherite' Conservatives. It also takes digs at Labour and the Liberals occasionally. | |
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Easy Sex Change | |
| The New Statesman / int_b53ba00f | comment |
Easy Sex Change: Alan's accountant Norman becomes more feminine in every episode of series one. | |
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Fun with Acronyms | |
| The New Statesman / int_c25c7890 | comment |
Fun with Acronyms: How many charities can have the initials CASH? And the "Santiago High Income Trust" from series two. As well as the B'Stard Universal Marketing in "Live From Westminister" (or B.U.M). | |
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Playing Both Sides | |
| The New Statesman / int_c2d5b652 | comment |
Playing Both Sides: According to the stage show, the war on terror was arranged by Alan manipulating both sides to his own ends. | |
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Chuck Cunningham Syndrome | |
| The New Statesman / int_c33ba0a8 | comment |
Chuck Cunningham Syndrome: Alan's transgender accountant Norma(n), Roland Gidley-Park (jarringly, as he's Sarah's father* B'Stard's remark in Series 2 to Sarah that he's divorcing her because she's "outlived [her] usefulness" may indicate that her father has died - B'Stard needed Sarah because her father controlled the local Conservative Party.), pub landlord and former hangman Sidney Bliss and Labour MP Bob Crippen all disappeared after the first series. Alan's political agent Beatrice Protheroe, who was having an affair with Sarah, disappered halfway through the first series. Elderly Tory MP Sir Steven Baxter disappeared partway through the second. Sidney did make a one-off return (played by a different actor) for the special between series 2 and 3. | |
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Shout-Out | |
| The New Statesman / int_c75df49a | comment |
Shout-Out: The first episode of the second series ends with Alan uttering a delighted "Yes, Minister." | |
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Freudian Excuse | |
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Freudian Excuse: With heavy emphasis on "Freudian". When we meet Alan's mother, she's a cruel, greedy, selfish and manipulative harpy who raised him in her image. She's also hinted to have been sexually involved with him for some time, and although Alan seems to consent to her kissing him, it makes him hate her even more. Makes you wonder how long she's been sexually involved with him. | |
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Politician Guest-Star | |
| The New Statesman / int_cc8e6ce1 | comment |
Politician Guest-Star: In the series premiere, one of the candidates in the Haltemprice election is David "Screaming Lord" Sutch of the Monster Raving Loony Party, appearing as himself. | |
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StrawmanPolitical | |
| The New Statesman / int_e2023325 | comment |
Strawman Political: Alan is notable for doing the tours of all three major parties; in the original series, he was a straw Tory; in the stage production, he was a straw Blairite; and in a sketch for a No 2 AV Party Political Broadcast, he was an obvious parody of Nick Clegg. | |
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Manchild | |
| The New Statesman / int_e313b4e7 | comment |
Manchild: Piers doesn't understand much of what goes on around him and keeps his teddy at his desk. | |
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Artistic License – Politics | |
| The New Statesman / int_e3bdea5c | comment |
Artistic License – Politics: Alan's overwhelming election victory at the beginning of the series is shown as due to him arranging for his two rival candidates to crash their cars into each other, leaving them fighting for their lives in hospital. In fact, Labour and Alliance voters would not have switched their votes to Alan just because their favoured candidate might be dead before long. They would rather have a chance to vote for their preferred party again at a by-election than be stuck with a Tory MP for five years.note Dick Dastardly Stops to Cheat was presumably intended to be in effect here, as rural Yorkshire seats such as the fictional Haltemprice are typically among the absolute safest in the entire country for the Conservative Party, meaning Alan's goal was likely to earn an exaggeratedly huge majority in a seat he was already all-but-guaranteed to win. However, there's no guarantee taking the other candidates out would have helped Alan out in this regard; if anything, it may actually have reduced his majority, as the injured candidates would likely have gotten some sympathy votes. In at least one episode B'Stard refers to a Labour MP as "Mr. Crippen" (twice) while speaking in the House of Commons. British MPs (and Peers) never refer to each other by name in the chamber (they say "the (Right) Honourable Member for [constituency]" — or often just something such as "my honourable friend" in the all-too common event of them not being able to immediately remember which of the country's 650 seats another MP represents) and would immediately be told off by the Speaker if they did. Alan also speaks while sitting and speaks directly to other MPs, sometimes at the same time. | |
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Insistent Terminology | |
| The New Statesman / int_e563bf09 | comment |
Insistent Terminology: "B'Stard", not "bastard". | |
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The Plan | |
| The New Statesman / int_e851b5 | comment |
The Plan: Many of Alan's plans are outrageously complicated such as the one that involved arranging the Falklands war to push up the price of corned beef. However, he is quite good at speed-chessing his way past unwelcome developments. The most outrageous is his plot to take over the country in the last episode. | |
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One-Steve Limit | |
| The New Statesman / int_ee7a60e9 | comment |
One-Steve Limit: One episode features a crony of Alan's also named Piers. The two men have absolutely nothing else in common. | |
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Chained to a Bed | |
| The New Statesman / int_eff65ef6 | comment |
Chained to a Bed: An American television star invites Alan home and has him tie her up, but then realises she left her Quaaludes in her car and sends Alan down to get them. He gets arrested. When he finally makes it back over a day later, he can't be bothered to untie her before he leaves to catch his flight. She finds this hot. | |
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Brick Joke | |
| The New Statesman / int_fe0330fb | comment |
Brick Joke: All the way through series one Piers talks about his seemingly strait-laced and rather prudish fiancée. When we meet her in series two, she turns out to be... not quite as imagined. | |
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Pet the Dog | |
| The New Statesman / int_ff7f34c5 | comment |
Pet the Dog: Despite being a massive conservative, outside of a few jibes, Alan was surprisingly supportive of Norman's sex change and sincerely complimented her makeup or femininity on a few occasions as she began transitioning. This hidden niceness promptly vanished once she vanished in series 2, unfortunately. Alan does also behave sympathetically towards Professor Eugene Quail, a cross-dressing civil servant, who helps him pull off a scam based around North Sea oil. Despite having the ability to blackmail him into compliance, Alan instead shares the profits of the scam with him and then compliments his taste in lingerie. | |
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The New Statesman |
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