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NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website)
- 1178 statements
- 230 feature instances
- 18 referencing feature instances
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) | type |
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NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) | page |
NFLQuarterbacksOnFacebook | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) | comment |
NFL Quarterbacks on Facebook was a weekly feature on ProFootballMock.com which parodied all 32 NFL quarterbacks in fictional interactions on Facebook after the NFL season and notable events in the NFL offseason.Started in Week 4 of the 2012 season, the conversations usually dealt with the quarterbacks mocking each other over their accomplishments or lack thereof. As the season progressed, each quarterback developed a sort of personality which contributed to the conversation. The conversations expanded to include non-quarterbacks, like head coaches, teammates, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell, and other characters, some of whom would contribute to more than one conversation.The NFL QBs on Facebook series started with the Hall of Fame Game, and continued to the Super Bowl, with a Free Agency special and an NFL Draft special, where new quarterbacks were introduced. There were also four special convos during the season, an Opposite Day special, a Halloween special, a special devoted to Product Placement (appropriately called "A Word From Our Sponsors"), and a Christmas Special.ProFootballMock's sister site, CollegeFootballMock.com launched a Spinoff on August 28th, 2013 called Heisman Hopefuls on Facebook, which uses college football stars instead of NFL quarterbacks, unfortunately the site was shut down on November 23rd, weeks before the Heisman winner could be announced.The series ended in February 2015, after Super Bowl XLIX concluded the 2014 NFL season. Creator Dave Barry had left the door open to future installments, but a later post revealed that he was ending work on the ProFootballMock site, albeit leaving the site operational as an archive. One year later, a post-Super Bowl 50 convo was posted - appropriately named "For Old Time's Sake."The series, as well as the rest of the Pro Football Mock Website, has disappeared from the internet, but portions (at least) of the series are available through various archives. | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) | isPartOf |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_1062982b | type |
"Flowers for Algernon" Syndrome | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_1062982b | comment |
"Flowers for Algernon" Syndrome: After taking one too many hits from the Baltimore Ravens defense, Ben Roethlisberger becomes abnormally intelligent. It doesn't last. That week's episode is titled "Flowers for Ben". | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_109bc3e | type |
Eat the Dog | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_109bc3e | comment |
Eat the Dog: Marshawn Lynch goes over to Colin Kaepernick's house for Thanksgiving and ends up confusing his pet turtle, Sammy for a giant green skittle. | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_126e7451 | type |
Opinion Flip-Flop | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_126e7451 | comment |
Opinion Flip Flop: Jay Cutler when Katy Perry shows up in "Pop Tarts": | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_1282bf4f | type |
No Celebrities Were Harmed | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_1282bf4f | comment |
No Celebrities Were Harmed: Obviously, these are parodies of the real NFL Quarterbacks. | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_14c791fb | type |
Conflicting Loyalty | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_14c791fb | comment |
Conflicting Loyalty: In the Hall of Fame Convo, Colin Kaepernick continually says "Go Dolphins" and continually forgets the fact that he is the starting quarterback for the 49ers, a reference to a real life dust-up where Kaepernick tweeted pictures of himself wearing a Dolphins hat during the off-season. This became Kaepernick's character since then. | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_14ed6ab7 | type |
Does This Remind You of Anything? | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_14ed6ab7 | comment |
Does This Remind You of Anything?: After Wes Welker signs with the Broncos in free agency, he and Tom Brady have a...rather awkward conversation which could draw similarities to catching up with an ex-girlfriend. Matthew Stafford notices and, in his usual confusing Facebook with Twitter fashion, lampshades it. | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_15b2cab3 | type |
Tempting Fate | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_15b2cab3 | comment |
Tempting Fate: After the Broncos defeated the Patriots in the 2013 AFC Championship Game, Brady warned Peyton that he (Peyton) set himself up for the biggest collapse when he loses the Super Bowl to the Seahawks. Two weeks later, the Broncos got stomped by the Seahawks 43-8. | |
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Your Mom | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_1649e053 | comment |
Your Mom: Jay Cutler's mother is called a whore by the other quarterbacks. When he tells them to stop, they reply with "Said no (insert something to do with having a career in the pornography industry) ever". The Heisman Hopefuls on Facebook plays with this trope, as Jameis Winston and AJ McCarron, in order to get Johnny Manziel's goat, infer that they slept with his mom. In addition, they play a prank on Manziel by having Jadeveon Clowney make a fake Facebook profile of Manziel's mom and have "her" confirm Manziel's worst fears. It works, as Manziel is shocked to the point where he vomits profusely and flips out on everyone else. | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_1777688d | type |
Genre Savvy | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_1777688d | comment |
Genre Savvy: The players try to avoid saying the word "tie" because they know if they do Sam Bradford will chime in with a perverted tie analogy. Unfortunately, someone will eventually slip up. | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_178ca149 | type |
The Worf Effect | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_178ca149 | comment |
The Worf Effect: Jameis Winston's stat output in week 6 of HHOFB led him to dress down the incumbent Heisman winner, Johnny Manziel of all people, in his debut. | |
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Title Drop | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_18d15922 | comment |
Title Drop: At the end of the Week 3, 2014 convo: | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_19209d54 | type |
Sibling Rivalry | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_19209d54 | comment |
Sibling Rivalry: John vs. Jim Harbaugh in Super Bowl XLVII, which was dismissed by Peyton and Eli Manning, and Rex and Rob Ryan. Peyton and Eli experienced it as well.. | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_1b65dfad | type |
The Cameo | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_1b65dfad | comment |
The Cameo: Beyoncé and Katy Perry made guest appearances in the convos whenever they're announced as that year's Super Bowl halftime performer. | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_1c3d047e | type |
The Rival | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_1c3d047e | comment |
The Rival: Peyton Manning vs. Andrew Luck; Manning reminds Luck that the Colts are still his team. Aaron Rodgers vs. Jay Cutler. Alex Smith vs. Colin Kaepernick. Joe Montana vs. Steve Young. IN HHOFB, Johnny Manziel vs. Jameis Winston | |
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Overly Narrow Superlative | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_1d8733d3 | comment |
Overly Narrow Superlative: Played for laughs in the "Secret Santa" conversation from 2013. | |
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Heterosexual Life-Partners | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_1dfbbf31 | comment |
Heterosexual Life-Partners: Tom Brady and Peyton Manning. | |
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Cruel and Unusual Death | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_1e584efa | comment |
Cruel and Unusual Death: Sam Bradford is dead by 2040, as a result of an overdose of virility pills which give him a 12 hour orgasm, as well as Michael Vick, who was ripped apart by poodles. | |
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Deal with the Devil | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_1fc8335e | comment |
Deal with the Devil: Maty Mauk supposedly makes one with Satan during the week 8 HHOFB convo. Not even Tim Tebow can pull him out of it. Aaron Rodgers hypothesizes that the Seahawks made a bloodpact with Satan to with their games because Phillip Seymore Hoffman and Joan Rivers died the morning Seattle beat the Broncos and Packers respectively. Obviously, Seattle had them killed as part of the deal. Bill Bellichick also has a deal with the devil. Of course, Bill Bellichick is more evil, so the devil works for him instead of the other way around. | |
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Hollywood Tourette's | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_227f74e1 | comment |
Hollywood Tourette's: Andrew Luck inexplicably comes down with a case of this after beating Peyton Manning and the Broncos, as did Aaron Rodgers in 2010, after he defeated Brett Favre and the Vikings. | |
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Confound Them with Kindness | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_23cd5152 | comment |
Confound Them with Kindness/Paranoia Gambit: In the 2014 Week 3 convo, Russell Wilson appears to genuinely congratulate Peyton Manning on a good game. Having already dealt with a similar situation after the Seahawks won the Super Bowl, with Russell Wilson's hidden message, Peyton once again believes that Wilson is doing it again, and becomes paranoid to the point where he insults himself, to the amusement of the other QB's. | |
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Only Sane Man | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_24321e44 | comment |
Only Sane Man: Greg McElroy. So far, Geno Smith is taking on this role in the 2014 season. | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_2497e5b8 | type |
Atomic F-Bomb | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_2497e5b8 | comment |
Atomic F-Bomb: Peyton Manning's after losing Super Bowl XLVIII lasts for three entire text boxes. Aaron Rodgers unleashed one after finding out the 2014 NFC Championship game wasn't a dream that lasted four text boxes and was intercut with the other QB's pointing out it could last the entire convo. Seattle Fans Everywhere shouted one after Patriots CB Malcolm Butler intercepted Seahawks WR Ricardo Lockette's comment in the end zone. Matt Ryan shouted "MOTHERFUCKER!" twice after his Falcons lost to the 49ers in the 2012 NFC Championship; the second time, it lasted for three text boxes. | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_26ac510e | type |
Mythology Gag | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_26ac510e | comment |
Mythology Gag: The Hall of Fame Convo is taken over by the geriatric... I mean classic quarterbacks. Some have the same personality quirks as the current quarterbacks, like Joe Montana's rivalry with Steve Young and Terry Bradshaw and Neil O'Donnell's penchant for explaining jokes, while others, like Joe Namath and Brett Favre, have entirely different quirks. The sudden appearance of the classic Hall of Famers clearly annoys the current ones. Apparently, the backups have some of the personality quirks that the starters do, as evidenced by Kirk Cousins and Rex Grossman both wanting RGIII's job (a lá Colin Kaepernick in 2012), Kevin Kolb's concussion problem, Geno Smith playing like Mark Sanchez, and Vince Young issuing threats to Brady Quinn. In his NFL Quarterbacks on Facebook debut, Bridgewater actually subverts this through his new gimmick, which the quarterbacks describe as Guy who sounds like he gargles a thesaurus. | |
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Verbal Tic | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_26d1f65f | comment |
Verbal Tic: DeAnthony Thomas adds the prefix, "De'" before words. Former Panthers and current Ravens wide receiver Steve Smith would start whatever he says with "Ice up". | |
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Hufflepuff House | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_27b83210 | comment |
Hufflepuff House: The Tennessee Titans, specifically their QB's, are barely, if ever mentioned in the convos. | |
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Bilingual Bonus | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_294ed981 | comment |
Bilingual Bonus: Ben Roethlisberger uses British, Italian, Mexican, and Canadian accents after playing in London. In addition, he also does a Wookiee Growl and explains a joke in Binary coded ASCII. | |
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Halloween Episode | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_297170d3 | comment |
Halloween Episode: With the quarterbacks' avatars changed to fit the theme. For example, Tom Brady's avatar was a Queen's Guardsman (in reference to the Patriots' game against the Rams in England), Russell Wilson's avatar was a "Trollface" mask, and Ben Roethlisberger's avatar was The Bumblebee Man (in reference the Steelers' striped jerseys they wore for that season). Another one took place during Week 8 in 2013, with Calvin Johnson's avatar being Megatron, Cam Newton's avatar is Superman, Aaron Rodgers' avatar is The Incredible Hulk, and Joe Flacco's avatar is Bert. | |
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Stage Mom | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_2978c012 | comment |
Football Dad: Archie Manning, towards both his quarterback sons, yo-yoing in favor depending on which is doing better, sometimes forsaking them both. | |
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Lampshade Hanging | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_2a090d00 | comment |
Lampshade Hanging: After Tom Brady and Wes Welker have their ...awkward reunion, complete with the introduction of Danny Amendola as Brady's "new man", Mark Sanchez questions if anyone remembers when the conversations were at least believable. Brandon Moore's butt gives him the answer, and reminds him of his greatest failure. | |
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Bring My Brown Pants | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_2b14367f | comment |
Bring My Brown Pants: Joe Flacco's baby after hearing what Sam Bradford did to a baby cow. In the 2014 Week 8 convo, a Labrador Retriever, Cowboys fans, and Brandon Moore's ass do this after Michael Vick returns, Jason Garrett announces that Brandon Weeden would have to start the next week due to Tony Romo's injury, and Mark Sanchez returns, respectively. | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_2b7d29e1 | type |
Artifact Title | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_2b7d29e1 | comment |
Artifact Title: The conversations have expanded to include players at other positions, coaches, owners, fans, etc. | |
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Fratbro | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_2d39663b | comment |
Fratbro: Johnny Manziel is setting himself up to be one, judging from his reaction being drafted by the Cleveland Browns. | |
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NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_2d39663b | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_2e13acd1 | type |
Occam's Razor | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_2e13acd1 | comment |
Occam's Razor: Aaron Rodgers explains the phenomenon word for word when coming up with a theory as to why the Seahawks have been winning as of late, with Teddy Bridgewater backing him up on it (his friend Occam told him about it while shaving). | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_2e4f3def | type |
Better by a Different Name | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_2e4f3def | comment |
Better by a Different Name: The theme of the Assblast convo. Joe Flacco repeatedly points out that it's just a repeat of Opposite Day with a different name but Pro Football Mock feels that it's entirely different and not ripped off. | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_2e8875f0 | type |
Misplaced Retribution | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_2e8875f0 | comment |
Misplaced Retribution: Aaron Rodgers absolutely hates Russell Wilson because of the botched call from the 2012 Packers-Seahawks game. This is later subverted as Wilson takes every opportunity to make Rodgers' life miserable through trolling. | |
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NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_2e8875f0 | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_2ec219ee | type |
Butterfly of Doom | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_2ec219ee | comment |
Butterfly of Doom: Aaron Rodgers' time traveling escapade to 2040 results in the Seattle Seahawks winning the Super Bowl, at least according to the 2040 Roger Goodell. | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_2ec219ee | featureApplicability |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_2f253c94 | type |
Glass Cannon | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_2f253c94 | comment |
Glass Cannon: Robert Griffin III is injury-prone, mainly due to Mike Shanahan's disregard for Griffin's health in the 2012 season. Griffin's son, Robert Griffin IV, later inherited this from his father. This is averted in the Alternate Universe, as the other QB's call him "Ironman". | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_2f36d97 | type |
Older Than They Look | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_2f36d97 | comment |
Older Than They Look: Because Brandon Weeden was a rookie at age 28, this is his shtick. In the Spacebook convo, he has a great grandson named Timmy Weeden. | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_2f36d97 | featureApplicability |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_3036294e | type |
Scary Black Man | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_3036294e | comment |
Scary Black Man: Richard Sherman's character; he would introduce himself by shouting, "LEGION OF BOOM, BITCHES!" Cam Newton gets this treatment in the Super Bowl 50 convo; he ended up scaring White America when he complained that he didn't get a chance to do his custom touchdown celebration by "dabbing". | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_307a34f9 | type |
Radiation-Induced Superpowers | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_307a34f9 | comment |
Radiation-Induced Superpowers: Averted. After Colin Kaepernick mentions how he and his turtle, Sammy are going to see the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film, Ben Roethlesberger gets the idea to give Sammy superpowers by feeding him radioactive waste. It doesn't go well for Sammy as he ends up with radiation poisoning, puking up bloody blue-green phlegm, according to Kaepernick. | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_318a8a83 | type |
Initiation Ceremony | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_318a8a83 | comment |
Initiation Ceremony: The central theme for the "Hazing the Rookies" convo. | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_318a8a83 | featureApplicability |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_318a8a83 | featureConfidence |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_319e4a2f | type |
Even Evil Has Standards | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_319e4a2f | comment |
Even Evil Has Standards/Everyone Has Standards: Seahawks cornerback Richard Sherman gets called out by Darth Vader, Voldemort, and Bill Belichick, as well as Rodgers, Ryan, and Cutler for his unsportsmanlike comments about beating the 49ers in the 2014 NFC Championship. | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_32da91b8 | type |
Out of Focus | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_32da91b8 | comment |
Out of Focus: Lampshaded by Rodgers in "Hazing the Rookies". Andrew Luck had a similar situation in the 2013 Week 17 convo, only his input was in the form of a "like" on a comment from a magic 8 ball made at the end: As did Sam Bradford in the 2013 Week 8 convo: | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_38c493f1 | type |
End-of-Series Awareness | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_38c493f1 | comment |
End-of-Series Awareness: In the finale. | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_38c493f1 | featureApplicability |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_39ed1c8a | type |
Conspiracy Theorist | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_39ed1c8a | comment |
Conspiracy Theorist: The Conspiracy Nut that interrupted Super Bowl XLVIII MVP Malcolm Smith's speech, as well as Pete Carroll. | |
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1.0 | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_3c0a4666 | type |
Noodle Incident | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_3c0a4666 | comment |
Noodle Incident/Bestiality Is Depraved: Apparently Sam Bradford has had oral sex with a horse, as he mentions that the other quarterbacks who give him grief for misquoting "You should never look a gift horse in the mouth" sound just like "that uptight security guard at the petting zoo". | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_3d038b36 | type |
Rhetorical Question Blunder | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_3d038b36 | comment |
Rhetorical Question Blunder: Russell Wilson appears in response to these, only to be threatened by the other quarterbacks. Other examples are vehemently told that they don't count. | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_3d038b36 | featureApplicability |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_3e604618 | type |
Pluralses | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_3e604618 | comment |
Pluralses: Roethlisberger pluralized penis as "peniseseseseses". | |
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NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_3e604618 | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_3fb6b526 | type |
Delayed Reaction | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_3fb6b526 | comment |
Delayed Reaction: In the 2012 season's divisional round convo: Also at the end of the Super Bowl XLVII convo: Ben Roethlisberger does it twice in the 2014 Week 5 convo after Drew Brees calls Roethlisberger dim witted: And again when Roethlisberger tries to take over Cam Newton's usual gag: In both instances, the timestamp shows that each of Roethlisberger's comments comes an hour after the previous one. | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_424feb18 | type |
That Was Not a Dream | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_424feb18 | comment |
That Was Not a Dream: Aaron Rodgers initially believes that the Seahawks highly improbable comeback in the 2014 NFC Championship was a nightmare. The other players hesitantly tell him that it actually happened. As expected, Rodgers is fairly upset about it. | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_42a87000 | type |
Unexpectedly Obscure Answer | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_42a87000 | comment |
Unexpectedly Obscure Answer: Cam Newton's shtick involves him responding to things the other quarterbacks say by responding in a Jeopardy! formatted answer. | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_42a87000 | featureApplicability |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_42d7e928 | type |
Meanwhile, in the Future… | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_42d7e928 | comment |
Meanwhile, in the Future…: "NFL QBs on Spacebook", taking place in the year 2040 with a time-traveling Aaron Rodgers as the central character. | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_443b78cd | type |
Tranquil Fury | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_443b78cd | comment |
Tranquil Fury: Peyton Manning when Johnny Manziel tells him to shut up. | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_44c385ee | type |
That's What She Said | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_44c385ee | comment |
That's What She Said: Matthew Stafford's attempt at a new gag, replacing his old "confusing Facebook with Twitter" gag. | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_460aa61c | type |
Gift of the Magi Plot | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_460aa61c | comment |
Gift of the Magi Plot: Sam Bradford and Colin Kaepernick's Secret Santa exchange. Colin Kaepernick sold his pet turtle to buy Sam Bradford a library full of wine racks to house his industrial strength dildo collection. However, it turned out that Sam Bradford had sold his dildo collection to pay for a set of custom-made turtle sex toys. | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_47fea76b | type |
Butt-Monkey | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_47fea76b | comment |
Butt-Monkey: Blaine Gabbert, the city of Cleveland, Ryan Leaf, Mark Sanchez, Christian Ponder, Jay Cutler, and who can forget Tony Romo? Aaron Rodgers is starting to get this treatment as well. | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_4a3e547f | type |
Leaning on the Fourth Wall | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_4a3e547f | comment |
Leaning on the Fourth Wall: After learning that Peyton Manning had "cut" him from the convos, Matt Schaub says that he hates PFM, to which Drew Brees asks him to clarify, to which he says Peyton Fucking Manning, although it was clear that he was referring to Pro Football Mock. | |
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All of the Other Reindeer | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_4c8e8078 | comment |
All of the Other Reindeer: Everyone else ignores or makes fun of Joe Flacco when he tries to point out that he's elite. | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_4e7c4536 | type |
Wham Line | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_4e7c4536 | comment |
Wham Line: From "Goodbye, Farewell, and Amen": | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_4f4372e9 | type |
Early-Installment Weirdness | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_4f4372e9 | comment |
Early-Installment Weirdness: The first few convos were pretty much the quarterbacks just talking about their games and mocking/insulting each other. It took a few convos before they began to develop their distinct characters. | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_4f84cdef | type |
Smug Snake | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_4f84cdef | comment |
Smug Snake: Russell Wilson. | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_510e5a9 | type |
Sassy Black Woman | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_510e5a9 | comment |
Sassy Black Woman: In order to get inside Geno Smith's mind, Bill Belichick hypnotizes himself to believe he's a young black woman and as a result, exhibits the mannerisms of a stereotypical black woman. It serves as a Running Gag throughout the 2014 Week 16 convo. | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_5313c266 | type |
Bookends | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_5313c266 | comment |
Book Ends: If the prequel is included, the series started with Brady losing Super Bowl XLVI to the Giants, and it ends with Brady defeating the Seahawks in Super Bowl XLIX. With the Super Bowl 50 convo included, the series chronologically begins with Eli Manning winning the Super Bowl, then ends with Peyton Manning winning the Super Bowl. | |
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I Resemble That Remark! | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_535865be | comment |
In both instances, the timestamp shows that each of Roethlisberger's comments comes an hour after the previous one. | |
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It's a Wonderful Plot | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_551c5085 | comment |
It's a Wonderful Plot: With Johnny Manziel taking the role of George Bailey (although in this case he comes off as a whiny little bitch), and a pot smoking Ryan Leaf taking the role of Clarence, Manziel learns that the NFL would be better without him and only ESPN would miss him. | |
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Mistaken for Gay | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_561dab6b | comment |
Mistaken for Gay: Aaron Rodgers endures plenty of gay jokes during the 2013 Wild Card convo, and angrily denies that he is in fact gay. In "Meanwhile, In An Alternate Universe", this is inverted, as, since all the other quarterbacks are gay, Aaron Rodgers angrily denies that he is in fact straight. | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_566f1565 | type |
10-Minute Retirement | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_566f1565 | comment |
10-Minute Retirement: Brett Favre; his avatar alternates between the Packers, Jets, Vikings, and back to the Packers. | |
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Didn't We Use This Joke Already? | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_56c63b42 | comment |
Didn't We Use This Joke Already?: The 2014 NFL draft convo has Peyton Manning steal Aaron Rodgers' threat to Russell Wilson, only to be interrupted by Rodgers pointing out he already made the threat earlier. The "Assblast" Convo is lampshaded several times as just being a rehash of the "Opposite Day" convos, one of which was already used during the season. | |
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Smoking Is Cool | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_596f675a | comment |
Smoking Is Cool: Jay Cutler is sometimes portrayed as a heavy smoker. This was likely inspired by the "Smokin' Jay Cutler" website. | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_5989e3b6 | type |
Enemy Mine | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_5989e3b6 | comment |
Enemy Mine: Geno Smith and E.J. Manuel join Ryan Tannehill in mocking Tom Brady for losing to the Dolphins in Week 1 2014. All the elite quarterbacks (minus Brady) agree to band together to beat the Seahawks in the 2014 Week 3 convo. Aaron Rodgers is just as happy about Tom Brady's Super Bowl win over Russell Wilson as Brady is. | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_5a59b3a1 | type |
Hulk Speak | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_5a59b3a1 | comment |
Hulk Speak: Marshawn Lynch types in all caps, refers to himself in the third person as Beast Mode, and apparently does not have a good grasp of grammar. Also, when Ben Roethlisberger's contract is restructured, this exchange happens: | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_5ec27210 | type |
Sleeps with Everyone but You | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_5ec27210 | comment |
Signs Everyone But You: Despite John Elway's free agency frenzy, and his insistence that he signs anybody, he avoids going after Richie Incognito. | |
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Painful Transformation | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_5ff9310b | comment |
Painful Transformation: From Drew Brees' perspective, after he and Tony Romo go to the science museum and end up trying out the molecular transporter, both quarterbacks gradually change into hybrids of each other, Tony Brees and Drew Romo. Tony Romo, on the other hand, actually enjoys having his counterpart become a part of him. | |
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I Take Offense to That Last One | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_61b576af | comment |
I Take Offense to That Last One: Brady, Peyton, Dalton, Foles, and Brees were all insulted about being compared to Romo when they all lost on Week 15 in 2013, and even began to felt sorry for him, but when Romo finally showed up at the end, they all insulted him again after the Cowboys lost to the Packers. Also, from Wild Card Shuffle: After the Broncos lose to the Colts in the 2014 NFL Divisional playoffs, Alex Smith makes fun of Peyton Manning by calling him by his younger brother's name. It doesn't go over well. | |
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Time Travel Episode | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_62b1ac6f | comment |
In the second season, they did a Time Travel Episode where the 2014 Aaron Rodgers ends up in 2040 after his attempt to travel to the future and stop Russell Wilson from winning the Super Bowl fails. | |
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My New Gift Is Lame | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_630e5e56 | comment |
My New Gift Is Lame: A variation occurs in "Secret Santa" after several players give each other gag gifts: | |
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Hair-Trigger Temper | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_63b02752 | comment |
Hair-Trigger Temper: Aaron Rodgers, mainly because of Russell Wilson, and Aaron Murray, mainly because of James Franklin. | |
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But for Me, It Was Tuesday | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_648fe274 | comment |
But for Me, It Was Tuesday: After Russell Wilson fantasy drafts Aaron Rodgers, Rodgers threatens to throw multiple interceptions each game in an attempt to sabotage Wilson's team. Joe Flacco uses that as a setup to zing Brandon Weeden: | |
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Drunk with Power | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_64b303c0 | comment |
Drunk with Power: John Elway during the 2014 free agency period, to the point where he attempts to sign JJ Watt, Jimmy Graham, Roger Goodell, a new salary cap, basketball star Kobe Bryant, retired tennis star Steffi Graf, Pikachu, and 2013 spelling bee champion Arvind Mahankali to contracts. | |
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Formula-Breaking Episode | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_670db7d7 | comment |
Formula-Breaking Episode: Each year, instead of doing a Pro Bowl themed convo, a convo is done that is completely different than normal. In the first season, they did a Whole Episode Flashback to the Facebook Convo that was done after the previous season's Super Bowl. In the second season, they did a Time Travel Episode where the 2014 Aaron Rodgers ends up in 2040 after his attempt to travel to the future and stop Russell Wilson from winning the Super Bowl fails. In the third and final season, they did an Alternate Universe convo. | |
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Punctuated Pounding | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_6858aca8 | comment |
Punctuated Pounding: How Ray Rice treated Flacco: | |
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Jerkass Has a Point | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_6b05b601 | comment |
Jerkass Has a Point: Jay Cutler says that fantasy football is a game for losers, dorks, and virgins. Cue Tony Romo, Brandon Weeden and Tim Tebow getting excited for Tom Brady's fantasy football draft. | |
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Driven to Suicide | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_6d332aea | comment |
Driven to Suicide: Cleveland's reaction to the following: Also Jets' fans response to Brady drafting Sanchez as his fantasy quarterback: Marcus Mariota upon realizing that he's likely going to be drafted by the Jets. | |
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Once Done, Never Forgotten | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_6e37c196 | comment |
Once Done, Never Forgotten: Constant jokes are made about Mark Sanchez running into his own teammate's rear end and fumbling the football, referred to as the "buttfumble." | |
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Shut Up, Kirk! | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_6eeba1cb | comment |
Shut Up, Kirk!: Johnny Manziel tells Peyton Manning, practically the main character of the series, to quit bragging about beating the Seahawks in the preseason. It ends up changing the theme of the convo entirely. | |
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Christmas Episode | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_6ef9d3fe | comment |
Christmas Episode: Complete with NFL themed carols, perverted holiday sex analogies, holiday death threats, etc. | |
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Calling Your Attacks | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_71bd62b9 | comment |
Calling Your Attacks: Matt Ryan and Drew Brees name each others' costly turnovers. In the 2012 matchup between the two quarterbacks, Ryan names Drew Brees' interceptions Flopsy, Dropsy, Ducky, Sucky, and Mr. Wobbles. In the 2013 season opener, Brees turns the tables by calling Ryan's crucial end zone interception "The Fourth Quarter Falcon Fail". | |
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"Not Making This Up" Disclaimer | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_72757e0d | comment |
"Not Making This Up" Disclaimer: ProFootballMock would mention that the following things did happen in the convos, like Tony Romo naming his son "Rivers Romo", Jerry Jones being named the 2015 NFL Executive of the Year, and Peyton Manning getting a paid endorsement for Budweiser for his Super Bowl 50 victory speech, | |
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Comical Translation | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_737a91b0 | comment |
Comical Translation: When Tony Romo translates for Drew Brees after he loses his voice (he apparently speaks Strangled Neck-eze). he decides to take advantage of the opportunity by making it seem like Brees likes him. | |
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Orphaned Punchline | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_74e2ef76 | comment |
Orphaned Punchline: In the "Red Zone" Convo, we never hear the joke that leads to Ben Roethlisberger's explanation that Jay Cutler's Mom's vagina is bidding to host the 2018 Super Bowl. Later on, Tony Romo jokes that the Redskins drew more yellow flags than Betsy Ross with a case of jaundice. Roethlisberger begins to explain that joke, but can't finish as he doesn't get it. | |
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Put on a Bus | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_754df088 | comment |
Put on a Bus In the final 2013 preseason convo, Peyton Manning decided to "cut" quarterbacks, meaning that they could no longer contribute to the convos. List of cut quarterbacks Those who didn't make it were as follows: Josh Freeman, Jake Locker, Matthew Stafford, Cam Newton, Carson Palmer, Brandon Weeden, Blaine Gabbert, Michael Vick, Jay Cutler, Eli Manning, and Matt Schaub. However, all except for Gabbert and Locker were back in time for the week 1 convo. Mark Sanchez didn't appear in 2013 after being placed on injured reserve. The Bus Came Back: Sanchez returned in the third 2014 preseason convo. | |
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Straw Loser | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_7580e1bb | comment |
Straw Loser: Everybody hates Tony Romo for whatever reason, despite the fact that he's done nothing. This goes all the way to the Super Bowl when he hosts a party that all the other quarterbacks were invited to, but no one came. In the Hall of Fame Convo, Dan Marino takes on the Straw Loser role because of his lack of Super Bowl rings. | |
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Prison Rape | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_758c3034 | comment |
Prison Rape: Played for laughs with Ryan Leaf. He mentions that his "350 pound boyfriend" has WiFi in his "rape cell" which allows him to join in the conversation during the NFL draft. | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_77552932 | type |
Character Shilling | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_77552932 | comment |
Quarterback Shilling/Team Shilling: ESPN is shown to be shilling for Brett Favre, Tim Tebow, and Johnny Manziel. The 2014 convos have also taken several shots at American sports media in general shilling for the Cowboys. | |
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Remember the New Guy? | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_77b03c0a | comment |
Remember the New Guy?: In the Prequel convo, Robert Griffin III makes his retroactive debut to a rather warm reception by the current quarterbacks, despite the fact that at that point he had yet to be drafted. Russell Wilson also makes his retroactive debut, and true to his personality, starts off by annoying Aaron Rodgers, who at this point does not know who he is. | |
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Real Life Writes the Plot | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_786bf97f | comment |
Real Life Writes the Plot: Most of the conversation had to do with statistical output, wins, and headlines. And when quarterbacks were injured or benched, their backups took their spot in the convos, with the exception of Alex Smith, who had a bitter feud with Colin Kaepernick. The series even took a three month long hiatus which coincided with the end of the draft and the start of training camp. | |
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Real Men Wear Pink | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_7a3dd888 | comment |
Real Men Wear Pink: The quarterback's avatars are all given pink backgrounds in time for Breast Cancer Awareness Month. | |
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Unishment | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_7ac5c1de | comment |
Unishment: Roger Goodell tries to force Josh Gordon to get rid of his marijuana smoking habit by changing his punishment from a season long suspension to being locked in a closet where he has to smoke 100 joints, in the hopes that Gordon will get sick of it and want to stop. It hilariously backfires on Goodell's part: | |
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Rapid-Fire Comedy | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_7d218606 | comment |
Rapid-Fire Comedy: RGIII and Nick Foles make a bet where the loser of the first Redskins-Eagles game has to play the second one with one of Sam Bradford's buttplugs shoved up their ass. Bradford, who gladly agrees to this, asks what type of buttplug they want. After RGIII can't narrow it down from his first two descriptions (A really big one, then a really big one with rubber spikes on the end), he asks for the following and gets this response: | |
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"The Reason You Suck" Speech | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_7d89315b | comment |
"The Reason You Suck" Speech: Drew Brees gives a particularly nasty one to Commissioner Goodell in Week 7. Similarly, when Mark Sanchez graced the viewing world with the Butt Fumble, Tom Brady put together a 4 point presentation on why it was hilarious and dropped Sanchez's credibility rating. | |
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ChewToy | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_7dafc482 | comment |
Chew Toy: Tony Romo, the Oakland Raiders and the city of Cleveland all regularly take their lumps in most conversations. | |
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Moving the Goalposts | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_7df2b942 | comment |
Moving the Goalposts: Peyton, Brady, Brees, and Rodgers are doing whatever it takes to keep Flacco from joining the Elite Club, by the following: In the Super Bowl XLVII convo, Brady told Flacco that he has to throw for at least 300 yards in the Super Bowl. In the Week 6 2014 convo, Flacco threw five TDs in his win against the Bucs, but Brady, Brees and Rodgers told him that he's still not elite because he threw his fifth touchdown in the second quarter, and that he must throw five of them in the first quarter to be elite. | |
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The Alcoholic | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_7eebe99c | comment |
The Alcoholic: Joe Namath. | |
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Nice Job Breaking It, Hero! | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_7fbb2a3 | comment |
Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: A week before the Super Bowl, Aaron Rodgers travels to the future to find out how the game went in order to prevent Russell Wilson from winning. After he comes back to the present where the Seahawks won 43-8, Roger Goodell's future self also comes back and informs him (and the rest of the players) that in the original timeline (the one where Rodgers didn't travel to the future) the Broncos won by 50 points. Peyton Manning and Rodgers do not take this well. | |
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Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_808cbaeb | comment |
Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: Michael Vick has been trying to distance himself from killing dogs, but in his attempts, he goes on a killing spree with other animals. Among some of his more heinous crimes: The conspiracy theorist in the Super Bowl XLVIII post. | |
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The Generic Guy | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_80d0d980 | comment |
The Generic Guy: Ryan Tannehill. Joe Flacco cites this as the reason for getting him a boring "Secret Santa" gift (a Starbucks gift card). | |
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Extreme Omnisexual | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_8159411a | comment |
Sam Bradford, the Extreme Omnisexual whose sexual exploits frequently discomfort the other quarterbacks, reacts to Mark Sanchez stating that he self-pleasures thinking about Gisele Bundchen having a threesome with John Madden and Al Davis's rotting corpse: | |
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Alternate Universe | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_8430699a | comment |
In the third and final season, they did an Alternate Universe convo. | |
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Bait-and-Switch | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_8797239c | comment |
Bait-and-Switch: Sam Bradford's tie analogy with the twin sisters has the other quarterbacks actually curious to hear how it ends, until Bradford reveals how old they are. Cue Projectile vomiting after they hear the ending. Bradford later did it again when he said that he went fishing during the summer. | |
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Drinking Game | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_899cc5c1 | comment |
Drinking Game: Tom Brady suggests a teetotaler version for the 2014 Advertising special: take a drink every time Geno Smith and the Jets make a positive offensive play. When Andy Dalton asks when people can drink, Brady says when the Jets draft Marcus Mariota | |
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Meta Guy | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_8a58bb81 | comment |
Meta Guy: Ben Roethlisberger starts to go beyond his "Joke explainer" role when he questions the logic of some of the jokes in the Wild Card convo. This bothers Tom Brady, who tells him to stop and get back to his old role. | |
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Audience Surrogate | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_8ace85ef | comment |
Audience Surrogate: Geno Smith in the Week 3 2014 convo where he asks what each acronym the other players use stands for. | |
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Out-of-Character Moment | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_8ca20b69 | comment |
Out-of-Character Moment: After Peyton Manning insults Philip Rivers' bolo tie in the 2014 Divisional playoff convo, Sam Bradford offers up a bolo tie analogy. Matt Ryan thinks that it will be another gross sex analogy, even going so far as to describe one in great detail, however Bradford surprises the QB's by simply stating that bolo ties are stupid. | |
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Mr. Exposition | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_8cb844c6 | comment |
Mr. Exposition: Philip Rivers always announces the appearances by non-NFL quarterbacks. Drew Brees also played a similar role. | |
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Didn't Think This Through | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_8d0785d5 | comment |
Didn't Think This Through: Tom Brady's Fantasy QB Draft backfires on him, since going with a "least to most handsome" draft order winds him with him getting stuck with Mark Sanchez. | |
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Karmic Death | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_90d44f44 | comment |
Karmic Death: Mark Sanchez tragically dies when his hoverboard collides with the tail end of a 747. So effectively, he dies after stumbling headfirst into the back end of a Jet. Also, Michael Vick is mauled by a pack of rabid poodles in '22. | |
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Laser-Guided Karma | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_90e31482 | comment |
Laser-Guided Karma: After Tom Brady spent most of the series sleeping with the other players' wives and girlfriends, his wife Gisele got back at him by sleeping with Russell Wilson while Brady was celebrating his Super Bowl win. | |
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You're Nothing Without Your Phlebotinum | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_91963178 | comment |
You're Nothing Without Your Phlebotinum: In the 2014 Opposite Day convo, Wilson was unable to troll Peyton and Rodgers after the Seahawks lost to the Rams that week. | |
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The Bus Came Back | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_927b2f11 | comment |
The Bus Came Back: Sanchez returned in the third 2014 preseason convo. | |
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Set Right What Once Went Wrong | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_93ed8515 | comment |
Set Right What Once Went Wrong/Time Travel: In the Opposite Day Sequel, Aaron Rodgers attempts to go back in time to the Fail Mary game in order to get the Packers back to the Super Bowl. Using a time travel watch connected to one of Sam Bradford's penis pumps, he ends up forgetting to set the year to 2012 and as a result, travels back to an early part of the convo. | |
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Vomit Indiscretion Shot | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_94e4b975 | comment |
Vomit Indiscretion Shot: Bengals quarterback Matt Scott's .gif in the Hazing convo, right after he finds out he's joining the Matt quarterback brotherhood. | |
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Never My Fault | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_973d220f | comment |
Never My Fault: Played with in the "Seachamps" convo, when Peyton tries to blame his center, Manny Ramirez, as well as Joe Namath and Wes Welker, for losing the Super Bowl, until Aaron Rodgers (see below) unwittingly helped the Seahawks win it. Played straight in the Week 3, 2014 convo, when he blamed Broncos running back Montee Ball, as well as his defense, for losing to the Seahawks in overtime, and again in Week 9 after the Broncos lost to the Patriots. | |
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The Ludovico Technique | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_9932d051 | comment |
The Ludovico Technique: Josh McCown forces Michael Sam watch Sam Bradford's sex tapes by using this method, Philip Rivers and EJ Manuel beg him to stop, as exposure to such horror will make anyone go insane, The results are predictable: | |
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Rimshot | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_99514b8b | comment |
Rimshot: A running gag in "Fallen Leaders." After an explained joke by Ben Roethlisberger, an actual Rimshot account responds in the convo. During the course of the conversation, other quarterbacks crack increasingly lame jokes, with the Rimshot account refusing to dignify the jokes with a response. The convo ends with the Rimshot pulling a Screw This, I'm Outta Here after yet another joke about Tony Romo's failures in December. | |
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A Day in the Limelight | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_9c8701b5 | comment |
A Day in the Limelight: The "Resting the Starters" convo features all of the teams' backup quarterbacks conversing with each other, with some of them inheriting the traits of their starters. This was due to all of the starting QBs taking the week off in preparation for the regular season. | |
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Lovable Sex Maniac | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_9cdef1ef | comment |
Lovable Sex Maniac: Tom Brady, even to to the point where he points out that Matt Schaub, Matt Ryan, and Ryan Tannehill's wives and Beyoncé should be bedding with him, and at least two of them supposedly do. | |
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Made of Evil | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_9d15f525 | comment |
Made of Evil: Bill Belichick makes it abundantly clear how evil he is during the playoffs, with schemes ranging from videotaping the 49ers in preparation for the Super Bowl to poisoning Matt Schaub with an apple a lá Snow White, When the Patriots are beaten by the Ravens, Belichick not only calls Tom Brady, who has already won three Super Bowls under him, a bust, but casually tosses out that he has "a birthmark of three sixes on his asscheek", and that he will not do a postgame interview as he feels that nothing less than "three strangled hobos and a litter of crushed puppies" will get him to even think about the game. | |
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Whole Episode Flashback | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_9d6e002e | comment |
In the first season, they did a Whole Episode Flashback to the Facebook Convo that was done after the previous season's Super Bowl. | |
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FanFic | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_9d725e12 | comment |
Fan Fic: Fans have started to create convos in the comments section of articles using the characters, as well as a few inventions of their own (like Darth Anonymous, Gisele Bündchen's love children with the other NFL quarterbacks, and openly gay football player Michael Sam) as a way to cope with the long gaps between offseason convos. | |
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Punctuated! For! Emphasis! | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_9e0c3153 | comment |
Punctuated! For! Emphasis!: When Manziel called out Peyton for bragging about him defeating the Seahawks in the preseason, Peyton told him, "The. FUCK. Did. You. Just. Say. To. Me?" | |
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Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today? | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_9fc04a54 | comment |
Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today?: Aaron Rodgers has to do this repeatedly in "Wild Card Shuffle", following a real-life interview where he commented on rumors of being gay: | |
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Overly Long Gag | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_a188ac4b | comment |
Aaron Rodgers denying that he is gay. Doubles as an Overly-Long Gag, as lampshaded by Ben Roethlisberger in the Draftitude convo: | |
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Dumb Muscle | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_a18fda9c | comment |
Dumb Muscle: Ben Roethlisberger, to go along with his joke explainer schtick. In Heisman Hopefuls on Facebook, Teddy Bridgewater is portrayed as a good quarterback, who is...mentally challenged. He loses this role when he's drafted into the NFL. | |
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Scandalgate | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_a62e50b8 | comment |
Some of the real life problems that players have (e.g., Michael Vick's animal cruelty charges, Roethlisberger having been accused of rape, Ray Lewis's murder trial), or the fans' perceptions of certain teams or players (Spygate, Bountygate, Brady begging for flags whenever he gets hit, etc.). | |
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Ascended Extra | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_a65288e2 | comment |
Ascended Extra: Shaun Hill is kicked out of the 2014 Preseason finale convo ("Resting the Starters," which focused on the backup QBs) because he was named the Rams starter after Sam Bradford re-injured his ACL. | |
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Rule of Three | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_a6cda066 | comment |
Rule of Three: The QB's try and avoid saying the word "Tie" three times a lá Beetlejuice, for fear of accidentally summoning Sam Bradford. When it inadvertently happens, they try and avoid mentioning the "tie is like kissing your sister" analogy. Unfortunately, Geno Smith accidentally says it, leading to Bradford using his perverted sex analogy of the week. This gag is repeated in 2013 Week 12, due to the Packers/Vikings game ending in a tie, and again in 2014 Week 6, after the Panthers and Bengals played to a 37-37 tie. | |
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Karma Houdini | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_a70223 | comment |
Karma Houdini: Russell Wilson, as seen in the Grand Finale. Despite losing the Super Bowl to the Patriots, Wilson reminds his three greatest enemies in the series, incidentally, the three main characters, Aaron Rodgers, Peyton Manning, and Tom Brady, that he has something of theirs in his room: From Rodgers, he has a framed picture of the Fail Mary catch, from Manning, the Lombardi Trophy, and from Brady, Gisele Bündchen's panties. | |
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The Friend Nobody Likes | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_a861560f | comment |
The Friend Nobody Likes: Two examples: Tony Romo, the Straw Loser who all the other quarterbacks make fun of on a regular basis and refuse to hang out with. Made clear during the 2014 Preseason Week 3 convo when Drew Brees loses a bet with Matt Ryan and is forced to spend the year being Romo's friend. Russell Wilson, the Smug Snake who continually trolls the other quarterbacks, resulting in them making death threats towards him. | |
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Excuse Me While I Multitask | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_a89348f2 | comment |
Excuse Me While I Multitask: Marcus Mariota is able to simultaneously participate in the Week 5 HHOFB convo and play against the University of California. He even posts while scoring two touchdowns. | |
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Adults Are Useless | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_a939d96a | comment |
Adults Are Useless: Or, to be more precise, act like a bunch of college fraternity kids. Justified in HHOFB, as they are college fraternity kids. | |
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Rousing Speech | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_aaece264 | comment |
Rousing Speech/Moment Killer: Sam Bradford comes to Aaron Rodgers' defense when the other quarterbacks make fun of his supposed homosexuality and give a very stirring speech on accepting others for who they are, as well as how standards evolve as time goes by. It's a very moving speech which surprises the other quarterbacks, namely Drew Brees and Carson Palmer, who praise him for it, however he ruins the moment by mentioning that he typed the whole thing with his penis while being naked and hogtied in his mistress' sex dungeon. | |
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The Loins Sleep Tonight | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_ad3e13c5 | comment |
The Loins Sleep Tonight: Ryan Tannehill revealed that he couldn't get it up, which was confirmed by his wife, Lauren. | |
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Trademark Favorite Food | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_ad641426 | comment |
Trademark Favorite Food: Marshawn Lynch really enjoys Skittles, to the point where he confuses inedible items, like Colin Kaepernick's turtle, as well as two Christmas decorations as them. | |
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Don't Celebrate Just Yet | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_ad8df7ab | comment |
Don't Celebrate Just Yet: Aaron Rodgers turns off the Texans-Seahawks game at halftime to celebrate by spray painting the Seattle Space Needle with the words, "3-1. Suck it Losers!" When he finds out what actually happens: | |
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Deadpan Snarker | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_ae3d6438 | comment |
Deadpan Snarker: From the main cast, any quarterback not named Ben Roethlisberger, Tim Tebow, or Andrew Luck would qualify, but the biggest one is Jay Cutler. | |
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Accidental Misnaming | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_af616e40 | comment |
Accidental Misnaming: Christian Ponder. Nobody gets his last name quite correct. Names include Parker, Plunder, Plummer, Pilsner, etc. Also applies in a meta-sense to Matt Cassel note Ponder's successor as Vikings starter and Ryan Mallett, two former Patriots backups who have a tendency to have their names misspelled by PFM themselves. On one occasion, Cassel's name was misspelled two different ways in the same convo. Speaking of Patriots backups, Tom Brady once misspelled Jimmy Garoppolo's name as "Jimmy Galapagos". Similarly, in HHOFB, the other characters called Devin Gardner "Denard" after former Michigan QB Denard Robinson. | |
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Reunion Show | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_afab5e94 | comment |
Reunion Show: The post-Super Bowl 50 episode, titled "For Old Time's Sake". | |
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The Force Is Strong with This One | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_b1ae4fc2 | comment |
The Force Is Strong with This One: Parodied in the NFL Draft special, after Matt Barkley complains about not being taken in the first round, Peyton Manning points out that "The douche is strong with this one". | |
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Sex God | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_b3de4c5b | comment |
Sex God: In the future, Sam Bradford ends up publishing all his sexual exploits in a book called the Kama Samtra... And then he dies after experiencing a 12 hour orgasm he received after taking virility pills. | |
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Everyone Has Standards | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_b4a6ae4c | comment |
Everyone Has Standards: Tom Brady, who is considered one of the biggest jerks in the convos and the PFM Canon points out that the Saints fan at the Saints-Bengals game who stole the ball from the Bengals fan is a jerk and a loser. He gets a like on his comment from the site which reads: Sam Bradford, the Extreme Omnisexual whose sexual exploits frequently discomfort the other quarterbacks, reacts to Mark Sanchez stating that he self-pleasures thinking about Gisele Bundchen having a threesome with John Madden and Al Davis's rotting corpse: | |
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To Be a Master | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_b51ffd20 | comment |
To Be a Master: Joe Flacco tells everyone that he is elite throughout the first season, and does everything he can to prove he's right, and yet the other quarterbacks don't listen to him and/or make fun of him for his attempts. Flacco finally became elite after the Ravens won Super Bowl XLVII... only to have it taken back by Peyton, Brady, Brees, and Rodgers, after Flacco told them that he only threw for 287 yards. Brady told Flacco that he has to throw for at least 300 yards in the Super Bowl to be considered "elite". | |
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Hypocritical Humor | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_b707726f | comment |
Hypocritical Humor: After the Seahawks eliminate the 49ers in the 2013 NFC Championship, Jim Harbaugh complains about the refs, and gets ranted back by, of all people, Seahawks fans: From Week 6 2014: When Roger Goodell tries to shut down the convos, one of his justifications is that the quarterbacks' use of profanity hurts the NFL's image. After Drew Brees' "The Reason You Suck" Speech, Goodell warns the NFL's lawyers that they may need to deal with the QBs permanently. However, Goodell realizes too late that his comments are public: At the end of the "For Old Time's Sake" convo: | |
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Demoted to Extra | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_b8e3f20a | comment |
Demoted to Extra: What happened to Mike Glennon, Mark Sanchez, and Michael Vick in the 2014 Preseason finale convo, as they all became backups Ryan Fitzpatrick was also demoted as the Texans traded for Ryan Mallett the day before the preseason finale convo was released, although it was unclear who had been named the starter as both quarterbacks had an appearance. | |
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Jive Turkey | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_b9a22821 | comment |
Jive Turkey: Riley Cooper attempts to distance himself from his racist incident by dressing in blackface and spouting off random ebonics. | |
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Genius Bruiser | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_bbf11c0 | comment |
Genius Bruiser: Marshawn Lynch's BEAST MODE rants often contain some degree of philosophical insight, despite being written in Hulk Speak with No Indoor Voice. This is particularly evident in his op-ed on why he decided to hold out of 2014 training camp especially when he talks about developing a Skittle-cauliflour hybrid plant and mentions binge watching Downton Abbey. | |
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Precision F-Strike | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_bc00493f | comment |
Precision F-Strike: There's usually one every week by a quarterback whose team craps the bed against a worse team. | |
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Berserk Button | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_bc74ef27 | comment |
Berserk Button: So many. Russell Wilson makes so many quarterbacks lose their cool and make death threats to him. Saying that Joe Flacco isn't elite. Bringing up the "Fail Mary" to Aaron Rodgers. | |
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Mouthy Kid | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_bd08288f | comment |
Mouthy Rookie: In "Hazing the Rookies", Johnny Manziel mouths off to Peyton Manning after he brags about beating the Seahawks in the preseason. This leads Manning and the other vets to conclude that the rookies are too arrogant and need to be hazed so they'll show proper respect. | |
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Perfectly Cromulent Word | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_bdbfd01c | comment |
Perfectly Cromulent Word: Sometimes in the convos, a player will make up a word on the spot that pertains to the week's theme, then will use it in context, Examples include: Chrushmas: Coined by Drew Brees, it's a holiday tradition where "all the good little quarterbacks get touchdowns and yardage and victories galore, but the bad quarterbacks like Josh Freeman get their asses hella whipped by scores like 41 to F*cking 0." Draft-valry: Coined by Brees, it means a rivalry between two or more quarterbacks taken in the same draft. Nhoffer: Coined by Riley Cooper, a derogatory term in the same vein as the other N-word, which stands for non hall of famer. 'Lizzed: Coined by Sam Bradford, it's a portmanteau of laughed and jizzed. Intervenception: Coined by the Manning family, it's an intervention for Eli Manning in which the other members of the family make fun of him for his "addiction to interceptions". Romo-Vember: Coined by Tony Romo, it's a reference to his statistical dominance in November. De-slump-ber: Coined by Aaron Rodgers, it's a reference to Tony Romo's tendency to spectacularly fail in December. Bronies: Which Romo referred to his friendship with Brees, coming from "Brees plus Tony". Brady then reminds Romo that it also refers to the fanbase of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic. Troll-jo: Troll-mojo, coined by Philip Rivers, referring to Russell Wilson's trolling ability. | |
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Too Many Babies | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_bfe595e2 | comment |
Too Many Babies: Tom Brady, as a result of his sleeping with the other quarterbacks' wives, has several children, male and female, who play in the NFL by 2040. One (whose mother is Joe Flacco's wife,) even repeats history by losing to Eli Manning's daughter in the Super Bowl. | |
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Academic Athlete | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_c1e2c633 | comment |
Academic Athlete: Devin Gardner. Gardner values his University of Michigan education, constantly spouts off philosophical insight about "The Team, The Team", and is portrayed as an Only Sane Man among his peers, although his Notre Dame performance had him looking over his individual accomplishments. | |
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Fun with Acronyms | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_c25c7890 | comment |
Fun with Acronyms: Colin Kaepernick mentions that he owns the Packers as a subsidiary of his "King Kaepernick Korporation, or, as Tony Romo points out, KKK for short. After giving in to public demand in 2017, Dan Snyder had to rename the Washington Redskins the Washington Terrible Asian Road Drivers, or "T.A.R.D's" for short. In the Alternate Universe convo, the Redskins changed their name to the Washington Native American Gridiron Squad. The theme for the Week 3, 2014 convo, "TL;DR". In the 2014 Week 11 Convos, "ASSBLAST" stands for Assorted Scoring Successes By Losers Against Superior Teams. | |
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Big "NO!" | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_c2cedc1c | comment |
Big "NO!": Adrian Peterson after coming up 9 yards short of the NFL single season rushing yard record. The 2014 City of Cleveland screamed "NOOOOOOO!" (that echoes through time and space) after learning that after the Ravens moved to London in 2016, the Modell family reacquired the Browns and moved them to Baltimore, and the Baltimore Browns would later win five straight Super Bowls. Cardinals Fans, head coach Bruce Arians, and owner Bill Bidwell shouted "NOOOOOOOO!" after Carson Palmer said that he injured his knee and would miss the rest of the season, after he signed a huge contract with the Cardinals. Seattle Fans Everywhere screamed "NOOOOOOOOOO!" after the Patriots defeated the Seahawks in Super Bowl XLIX. | |
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Canon | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_c2d96eea | comment |
Canon: All the features on PFM that deal with any of the characters from the convos keep their personalities the same. This includes Intercepted Texts, a series of fake text logs between players and coaches, opinion pieces, and even the news stories that are posted. | |
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Say It | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_c3bb0bb1 | comment |
Say It: Tom Brady, in his HHOFB cameo not only forces all the other quarterbacks to say Devin Gardner's real name instead of Denard, he actually gets them to fully respect Gardner and put him back in the Heisman race. | |
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Bestiality Is Depraved | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_c3fbac64 | comment |
In the "Draft-valry" thread, they each explain their characteristics to EJ Manuel because the rookie quarterbacks will each have to come up with one (or, since Matt Barkley wouldn't shut up, have "Guy who likes to fuck baby rhinos" assigned to him by Tom Brady, which Sam Bradford said was his gag). | |
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Ass Shove | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_c45c9fcd | comment |
Ass Shove: Sam Bradford has an affinity for putting unusual things in his ass, among the stranger items, a butt plug with his grandmother's ashes, a Toblerone, and an award, which he stuck in edgewise. In addition, at least one threat per week involves sticking something up someone else's ass. | |
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Felony Misdemeanor | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_c59cfa2e | comment |
Felony Misdemeanor: When ordered by Roger Goodell to confess to him about their darkest secrets, Andrew Luck confessed to recording the Los Angeles Dodgers-San Francisco Giants game last Saturday without the MLB's permission. | |
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Insane Troll Logic | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_c5f0119c | comment |
Aaron Rodgers hypothesizes that the Seahawks made a bloodpact with Satan to with their games because Phillip Seymore Hoffman and Joan Rivers died the morning Seattle beat the Broncos and Packers respectively. Obviously, Seattle had them killed as part of the deal. | |
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Shout-Out | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_c75df49a | comment |
Shout-Out: Andy Dalton talks about being on HBO's Hard Knocks and the other quarterbacks rip him for being on an HBO show, mentioning Robb Stark from Game of Thrones. When Mark Sanchez complains about getting hit in the face with a football and how much it hurts, Marcia Brady agrees with him. There are references to the Back to the Future series in the "Opposite Day 2013" episode, with Doc Brown making a cameo appearance. Joe Philbin, Richie Incognito and Roger Goodell reenact the "Did you order the Code Red" scene from A Few Good Men, but Ben Roethlisberger thinks they're referencing The Godfather. Another Game of Thrones shout-out, where Tony Romo repeatedly rooted for losing teams, and says that in the duel between The Mountain that Rides and the Red Viper he rooted for Oberyn. Tyrion Lannister is not pleased. In the Week 2 2014 convo, Drew Brees fused with Tony Romo a la The Fly (1986). Geena Davis makes a cameo appearance. Rodgers posted images form The Incredible Hulk (1977) to describe his defeat of the Bears in Week 4, 2014. Stafford mistakenly identified the pics as coming from Schindler's List. | |
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Every Year They Fizzle Out | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_c7aa4577 | comment |
Matt Ryan, despite the Falcons having the best record that year, being reminded that he hasn't won a playoff game. This changes when Ryan finally wins against the Seattle Seahawks, with Andy Dalton taking on Ryan's role. | |
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Five Stages of Grief | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_c7e7529c | comment |
Five Stages of Grief: Brees mentions that quarterbacks experience the "Five Stages of Playoff Grief" after losing in the playoffs. Denial is represented by Peyton Manning refusing to believe he lost to the Ravens. Anger is represented by Aaron Rodgers angrily shouting at Colin Kaepernick to die. Bargaining is represented by Russell Wilson claiming he can fix this and still win. Depression is represented by Matt Schaub screaming about wanting to die. Acceptance is represented by Tony Romo telling the others that they'll get used to ending their seasons with failure and disgrace like he has for years. | |
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Voodoo Doll | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_c8490cbe | comment |
Voodoo Doll: Philip Rivers gives himself a set of voodoo dolls for Christmas, each representing Ryan Tannehill, Joe Flacco and Alex Smith. Chargers Fans carried voodoo dolls of Eli Manning after he spurned the team to join the Giants. | |
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Wisdom from the Gutter | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_ca773e1c | comment |
Wisdom from the Gutter: Jimmy Haslam tells the quarterbacks that a hobo advised him to draft Johnny Manziel. The hobo in question turns out to be former quarterback Vince Young, who demands a dollar for his sage advice, only to be told by Haslam to get a job. | |
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Everything's Deader with Zombies | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_cb643ebb | comment |
Everything's Deader with Zombies: In the "Red Zone" convo in 2003, Bucs players Darrelle Revis and Doug Martin, as well as head coach Greg Schiano become flesh-eating zombies after the entire team had staph infections. | |
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Emasculated Cuckold | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_cc017ca0 | comment |
Emasculated Cuckold: Russell Wilson manages to have the upper hand over Tom Brady despite losing Super Bowl XLIX when he sleeps with Gisele Bündchen. Brady is very upset by this. | |
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Incoming Ham | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_ceabe589 | comment |
Incoming Ham "BEAST MODE, MOTHERFUCKERS." "LEGION OF BOOM, BITCHES!" Almost everyone who makes the opening comment for the convos. | |
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That Came Out Wrong | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_d1affec1 | comment |
That Came Out Wrong: Aaron Rodgers' final death threat to Russell Wilson for the 2013 season. Eli Manning told Ryan Fitzpatrick that every time he looks at him, he is reminded of a new Apple product, the iSuck, before realizing what he had said. | |
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Hoist by His Own Petard | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_d397657d | comment |
Hoist by His Own Petard: in the Fantasy draft episode, the quarterbacks draft each other with the order based on who's the most handsome. Brady also makes certain rules: you can't draft yourself (Aaron Rodgers does this, and is forced by Russell Wilson to take him) you can only take quarterbacks (Roethlisberger takes Adrian Peterson and ends up having to take Blaine Gabbert), and you have to pay attention and not inquire on the availability of Drew Brees. (Three quarterbacks do this and are initially saddled with Mark Sanchez, but after persuading Brady to not give them Sanchez, Brady changes their picks.) When Brady gets ready to make his pick, he realizes too late that Sanchez is the only QB left, and after letting out a well timed Precision F-Strike, he sheepishly inquires if Drew Brees is still available. Brady stated an unwritten rule in which he gets to sleep with the losing quarterback's wife/girlfriend whenever he wins, and tells them to get a wife/girlfriend if they don't have one. It backfired on him in the Week 15 convo (during Season 2), when after the Patriots lost to the Dolphins, Lauren Tannehill (Ryan Tannehill's wife) gets to sleep with Brady, but with the roles reversed; she plays the pitcher to Brady's catcher. | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_d5dfb30a | type |
Professional Butt-Kisser | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_d5dfb30a | comment |
Professional Butt-Kisser: Andrew Luck, except when he loses a bet in which he has to curse out Peyton Manning (though he did immediately apologize after doing it). In the Alternate Universe, Luck is actually the exact opposite. | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_d6042336 | type |
Lower-Deck Episode | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_d6042336 | comment |
Lower-Deck Episode: The final convo of the 2014 preseason is done by the backup quarterbacks instead of the regulars. | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_d6707631 | type |
Waxing Lyrical | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_d6707631 | comment |
Waxing Lyrical: After Jameis Winston singlehandedly destroys the University of Miami, he incorporates the chorus of "Rock You Like A Hurricane" into his Facebook status, and gets "likes" from Scorpions and Bobby Bowden. | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_d848560f | type |
Unusual Euphemism | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_d848560f | comment |
Unusual Euphemism: "Romo" became a euphemism for "shit". | |
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1.0 | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_d848560f | featureConfidence |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_d968ce1c | type |
Snarky Inanimate Object | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_d968ce1c | comment |
Snarky Inanimate Object: When determining what personality new Bills quarterback EJ Manuel will have, Colin Kaepernick bets ten bucks that he's a whiny bitch, which Manuel denies. A ten dollar bill then says that he is. The sideline, the ground, and the Month of December also had lines, and in the latter case, had rivalries with Romo and the Month of November. | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_d9eee868 | type |
Spin-Off | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_d9eee868 | comment |
Spinoff: Heisman Hopefuls on Facebook. | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_da41243d | type |
Spoiler | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_da41243d | comment |
Spoiler: Played with in the Intervenception Convo. The quarterbacks mention that they all saw the series finale to Breaking Bad, which Matt Ryan DVRed. In order to further annoy Ryan, they proceed to make up over the top spoilers to the end, which include references to Terminator, Godzilla and Aliens. Even a dragon is casually tossed out. | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_db1ab4b1 | type |
Just a Stupid Accent | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_db1ab4b1 | comment |
Just a Stupid Accent: Gisele Bündchen's accent in the series finale leaves many of the quarterbacks confused. | |
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1.0 | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_db3cac8c | type |
Waterfall Puke | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_db3cac8c | comment |
Waterfall Puke: Implied in HHOFB judging by Johnny Manziel's reaction to his mom sleeping with Jameis Winston and AJ McCarron. | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_dc41e5e4 | type |
Ear Worm | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_dc41e5e4 | comment |
Earworm: Carson Palmer complains about Peyton saying things to the tune of the Nationwide jingle ("Nationwide is on your side"), and how it's now stuck in his head. | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_dc4e0f9a | type |
Eat That | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_dc4e0f9a | comment |
Eat That: After the Broncos defeated the Giants in Week 2, 2013, Peyton made Eli eat a slice of Papa John's pizza, which Roethlisberger describes as "tasting like ass". | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_dca6a9d | type |
Start My Own | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_dca6a9d | comment |
Start My Own: Attempted by Eli in the Thanksgiving 2014 episode, when he tried to start his own Thanksgiving tradition, but before he could finish what he was saying, he gets sacked. | |
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Backstabbing the Alpha Bitch | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_dda40b97 | comment |
Backstabbing the Alpha Bitch: In a male athlete sort of way, Jameis Winston becomes the new leader of the HHOFB convo in week 8, pulling it away from Johnny Manziel. | |
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Your Head A-Splode | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_e0789c2a | comment |
Your Head A-Splode: After Russell Wilson points out that the Seahawks technically own the Packers after beating them in the 2014 NFC Championship, Rodgers starts to fire back at him, but gets so angry that he posts the infamous exploding head scene from Scanners. | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_e150c4c7 | type |
Manchild | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_e150c4c7 | comment |
Manchild: Jim Harbaugh. | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_e431c24c | type |
Not Quite Dead | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_e431c24c | comment |
Not Quite Dead: Roger Goodell talks about eliminating the controversial Tuck Rule. The rotting corpse of Al Davis rips him for this. Also, when Jim Harbaugh complains that losing the Super Bowl is the worst thing that's happened to anyone in the history of ever, Anne Frank's ghost rips him for it. In the Halloween 2013 convo, the deceased legendary figures in the NFL spun in their graves to the following: Tom Landry and George Allen, after the Cowboys and Redskins lost that week's game, and in danger of getting a non-winning season and missing the playoffs. Vince Lombardi and Bill Walsh, after the Packers and 49ers began running the ball more, when these teams were traditionally pass-heavy. Joe Namath's liver, after the Jets got stomped by the Bengals. The Steelers' Playoff Chances, after Raiders QB Terrelle Pryor ran 93 yards for a touchdown. Chuck Noll, Mean Joe Greene, and Jack Lambert initially spun in their graves, until Brees, Alex Smith, and Peyton said that they were still alive, and Rodgers said that the joke only works when they're actually dead. This gag was repeated again in the Halloween 2014 convo: The Steel Curtain Defense, after Andrew Luck threw for 400 yards and three touchdowns, despite his Colts losing to the Steelers. Al Davis, after Kaepernick mentioned that the Raiders still hold the record for "Sandiest Vagina Over A Tom Brady Beatdown." The Once-Great Dallas-Washington Rivalry, after Romo became confident that he can beat the "Sad Sack Redskins". | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_e43c66bd | type |
Art Evolution | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_e43c66bd | comment |
Art Evolution: From the 2013 Season onwards, the convos added animated or still pictures inside the textboxes. | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_e563bf09 | type |
Insistent Terminology | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_e563bf09 | comment |
Insistent Terminology: In the "Assblast" convo, ProFootballMock insists on referring to the second opposite day as "Assblast Week". | |
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NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_e563bf09 | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_e58dd5 | type |
The Jinx | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_e58dd5 | comment |
The Jinx: Whenever Tony Romo cheers for a team, said team ends up on the losing side. Prior to the 2014 season, Romo admitted to cheering for the following: the Miami Heat, the New York Rangers, the Kentucky Wildcats, Roger Federer, the Brazilian national soccer team, and California Chrome (during the Belmont Stakes). | |
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NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_e58dd5 | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_e5e6640b | type |
Flanderization | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_e5e6640b | comment |
Flanderization: As the first season wore on, certain characters developed traits that would define their characters. A few are mentioned in the Running Gag section. In the "Draft-valry" thread, they each explain their characteristics to EJ Manuel because the rookie quarterbacks will each have to come up with one (or, since Matt Barkley wouldn't shut up, have "Guy who likes to fuck baby rhinos" assigned to him by Tom Brady, which Sam Bradford said was his gag). | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_e7fd5cdc | type |
Brain Bleach | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_e7fd5cdc | comment |
Brain Bleach: Sam Bradford's disgusting descriptions of what ties are like causes the other Q Bs to scream for this. | |
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O.O.C. Is Serious Business | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_e83f211c | comment |
O.O.C. Is Serious Business: The other quarterbacks are concerned when Ben Roethlisberger begins speaking intelligently in the Week 9 2014 convo. It turns out he became smarter after getting hit in the head too many times. | |
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Not That There's Anything Wrong with That | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_e85976d4 | comment |
Not That There's Anything Wrong with That: Said almost word for word by Aaron Rodgers when it's found out that pictures of his shriveled penis were being sent by Brett Favre to women. Jay Cutler assumes he's talking about women because he mentions that he was thinking of something that disgusted him, (followed by another gay joke explanation by Ben Roethlisberger). Rodgers again points out he's not gay, but adds the line: | |
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Groin Attack | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_eaf5a1ac | comment |
Groin Attack: Philip Rivers sticks pins in his voodoo doll set right where it hurts: | |
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Screeching Stop | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_eb107a22 | comment |
Screeching Stop: When Johnny Manziel yells to Peyton Manning a "Shut Up, Kirk!", two sound effects can be heard to highlight how much the former has put his foot in his mouth —tires screeching and a Record Needle Scratch. The latter then proceeds to chew him out. | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_eb6da8ef | type |
Crossover | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_eb6da8ef | comment |
Crossover: Eli, Peyton, and Archie Manning all appear in the week 7 HHOFB convo, then Cam Newton, Tom Brady, Tim Tebow, and Peyton again in the Week 8 congo. | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_eb8e4fa8 | type |
Jerkass | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_eb8e4fa8 | comment |
Jerkass: Everyone, including Tim Tebow at one point. And how. The only exceptions are Andrew Luck and Greg McElroy, even Luck's threat to Russell Wilson was a lot less malicious then anyone else's. | |
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Cue the Flying Pigs | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_ebe4eb97 | comment |
Cue the Flying Pigs: When Joe Flacco and the Ravens win the Super Bowl and the other quarterbacks finally bestow the elite label on him, this happens: Conversed about in the 2014 Preseason Week 3 convo when Colin Kaepernick and Marshawn Lynch make a bet regarding who will win the NFC west. Carson Palmer asks what happens if another team, such as the Cardinals, win the West. Kaepernick replies with this zinger: | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_edeafb2e | type |
Malicious Misnaming | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_edeafb2e | comment |
Malicious Misnaming: After Eli loses the Manning Bowl, Peyton hacks his Facebook and changes his name to "Big Stupid Loser". Peyton hacked Brady's account after beating him in the 2013 AFC Championship, this time changing Brady's avatar into a pile of poop, and his password to "Captain Playoff Failure McLittleDick". | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_ee7a60e9 | type |
One-Steve Limit | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_ee7a60e9 | comment |
One-Steve Limit: Averted. in the Fantasy draft convo, there are four Matts: Matt Ryan, Matt Flynn, Matt Stafford, and Matt Schaub, not to mention the non participating quarterbacks, Matt Cassel, Matt Hasselbeck, and Matt Barkley who "like" Philip Rivers' pointing out that there are a lot of Matts who play quarterback. Matt Scott joins the Matt Club in 2014. Three of the backup quarterbacks are named "Ryan": Ryan Nassib, Ryan Fitzpatrick, and Ryan Mallett. Upon learning this, Nassib tries to change his name to Matt. | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_f0d8db11 | type |
Fanon Discontinuity | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_f0d8db11 | comment |
Fanon Discontinuity: All in-universe examples: The other players refuse to acknowledge that Joe Flacco won a Super Bowl, much to his frustration. Similarly, the other QBs don't recognize Brady's Super Bowl wins due to the 2007 Spygate scandal. The other QB's think that Josh McCown is a rookie, despite the fact that he's played pro football for 12 years. | |
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ReluctantHero | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_f10a1faf | comment |
Reluctant Hero: Johnny Manziel is not amused that he has to represent the hopes and dreams of Cleveland Browns fans: | |
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NO INDOOR VOICE | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_f15c2859 | comment |
No Indoor Voice: PEYTON GODDAMN MANNING!, BEAST MODE MOTHERFUCKERS!, every threat made to Russell Wilson, the list goes on. Even Andrew Luck can get angry enough to shout. But he's still nice about it. BECAUSE BEN ROETHLISBERGER NEEDS TO BE LOUD TO EXPLAIN THE JOKES, YOU SEE. The Seahawks fans are really that loud, even outside of Seattle. | |
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Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_f1d3f0c9 | comment |
Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness: Teddy Bridgewater's gimmick, as debuting in the 2014 draft convo: Ben Roethlisberger does this in Week 9 2014 after he takes too many hits in the head from the Baltimore Ravens defense and briefly becomes intelligent. | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_f2877d9e | type |
IncrediblyLamePun | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_f2877d9e | comment |
Incredibly Lame Pun: Tony Gonzalez asks which quarterback's head he's going to bash in for failing to get him into the Super Bowl (Matt Ryan). What follows are a series of lame jokes that relate to each character's real life criminal issues. After Aaron Rodgers' time traveling caused what would have been a Broncos blowout win to become a Seahawks blowout win, Wilson thanked him. | |
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| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_f364de89 | type |
Make Wrong What Once Went Right | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_f364de89 | comment |
Make Wrong What Once Went Right: At least from Aaron Rodgers' point of view. His time travel to the year 2040 changed the outcome of the Super Bowl from the Broncos blowing out the Seahawks to what actually happened... the Seahawks blowing out the Broncos. Then again, this was 2040 Roger Goodell telling us this. | |
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NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_f364de89 | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_f511ea9b | type |
Product Placement | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_f511ea9b | comment |
Product Placement: Aaron Rodgers being sponsored by State Farm, he constantly applied the "Discount Double check" as a means to describe his wins. Similarly, there was several convos solely devoted to sponsorships, appropriately titled "A Word From Our Sponsors [Year]" | |
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Verbal Backspace | |
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Verbal Backspace: The Running Gag of the 2014 Preseason Week 2 Convo: | |
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Mushroom Samba | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_f7d4f121 | comment |
Mushroom Samba: Drew Brees chugs Nyquil and starts hallucinating throughout the week 13 convo, mistaking Colin Kaepernick as Gonzo from the Muppets, and Andy Dalton as a talking engorged dog penis, as well as pondering the mysteries of the universe. | |
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Opposite Day | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_f9cd9430 | comment |
Opposite Day: Once a season. The final season also included "Assblast Week," which was basically Opposite Day under another name. | |
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Running Gag | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_f9f2c33 | comment |
Running Gag: In general, the QBs tend to have personality quirks that usually manifest themselves during conversations. Matthew Stafford confusing Facebook with Twitter. Alex Smith's feud with Colin Kaepernick. The Hall of Fame edition has Joe Montana and Steve Young, whose situation was almost the same. Not to mention both Montana and Smith ended up on the Chiefs. Adrian Peterson telling Ponder to give him the ball so that he can break the NFL single-season record for most rushing yards. Matt Ryan, despite the Falcons having the best record that year, being reminded that he hasn't won a playoff game. This changes when Ryan finally wins against the Seattle Seahawks, with Andy Dalton taking on Ryan's role. Archie Manning threatening to disown Eli for his awful 2013 season, as well as downplaying Cooper's job as an energy trader Eli reminding everyone that he won two Super Bowls, and was the MVP for each one. Tony Gonzalez getting angry with Matt Ryan for costing him a last shot at the Super Bowl. Jameis Winston making Johnny Manziel cry for his mother. Michigan football players Vincent Smith and Devin Gardner hearing a loud ringing noise after getting hit hard. Aaron Rodgers denying that he is gay. Doubles as an Overly-Long Gag, as lampshaded by Ben Roethlisberger in the Draftitude convo: Ryan Tannehill's supposed impotency and his wife Lauren's embarrassment at the fact. Philip Rivers? Quarterback for the San Diego Chargers who introduces and describes guest posters or new quarterbacks in this fashion? Anytime someone asks "When was the last time you saw (improbable event)", followed by Russell Wilson's weekly troll and subsequent threats by the other quarterbacks. Drew Brees being forced to be friends with Tony Romo as a result of a lost bet between him and Matt Ryan. Colin Kaepernick being a Dolphins fan and caring more about their performance than his own team's. Whenever a game ends in a tie, Sam Bradford will give a perverted tie analogy after the word is said, despite the rest of the QBs attempts to avoid saying it. Every year Tony Romo hosts a Super Bowl party that none of the other players show up to (or in the case of 2014, lock him in his basement so they can enjoy the party without him). Some of the real life problems that players have (e.g., Michael Vick's animal cruelty charges, Roethlisberger having been accused of rape, Ray Lewis's murder trial), or the fans' perceptions of certain teams or players (Spygate, Bountygate, Brady begging for flags whenever he gets hit, etc.). | |
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Everything Is Racist | |
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Everything Is Racist: When Cam Newton casually mentions that he turned down playing Johnny Unitas in the new biopic, Drew Brees is shocked that the movie studio asked him, and says that Newton couldn't be Unitas because he's... a terrible quarterback to which Roethlisberger points out the obvious. Warren Moon is apparently racist, as he confuses Riley Cooper with Kevin Kolb, and then says that all crappy white players look the same to him. | |
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Don't Explain the Joke | |
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Don't Explain the Joke: Ben Roethlisberger always explains jokes, often in a loud voice. In the Alternate Universe, Teddy Bridgewater explains jokes. The Alternate Universe Roethlisberger is annoyed by this. The Steelers' quarterbacks have this trait, including Terry Bradshaw, Neil O'Donnell, Kordell Stewart, and backup QB Bruce Gradkowski. | |
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The Dog Bites Back | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_fb3576b2 | comment |
The Dog Bites Back: Aside from what happened after the Seahawks got eliminated from the playoffs, Wilson gets trolled by Ryan Tannehill after the Dolphins defeated the Seahawks. Tony Romo did this to Brady and Ryan after they lost in their respective Conference Championship games in 2012. Flacco did this to Brady after the latter was not mentioned as part of the E.L.I.T.E.S, due to Brady's mediocre performances during the first three weeks in the 2014 season, and how he didn't beat the Raiders by three touchdowns. | |
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Team Dad | |
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Team Dad: Drew Brees often acts as a mentor/father figure to the younger quarterbacks... when he's not being a jerk like everyone else. He even dressed down Roger Goodell when Goodell threatened to shut down the convos. | |
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Comically Missing the Point | |
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Comically Missing the Point: When Michael Vick explains that he's waterboarded turkeys, Rodger Goodell asks him if he knows how it would sound if he tried to explain it to PETA. Vick's response: | |
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Follow the Leader | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_fc451ba4 | comment |
Follow the Leader: In-universe; After Marshawn Lynch calls himself "BEAST MODE", Packers RB Eddie Lacy reluctantly refers to himself as "LACE MODE" (after some prodding by Rodgers), 49ers RB Frank Gore is known as "GORE MODE", and Patriots RB LeGarrette Blount is known as "BLUNT FORCE". | |
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Beware the Nice Ones | |
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Beware the Nice Ones: Andrew Luck, who is the Professional Butt-Kisser in the convos, is in prison by 2021 after a committing a nine state killing spree. | |
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Nurture over Nature | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_fd81c335 | comment |
Nurture over Nature: Archie Manning claims the reason why Eli won two Super Bowls was because he was trained to by him, and that Eli's whole career was the result of a bet with Olivia Manning. | |
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Brick Joke | |
| NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook (Website) / int_fe0330fb | comment |
Brick Joke: Following his earlier time travel escapade in Opposite Day 2013, Aaron Rodgers successfully time travels again in "NFL QBs on Spacebook", traveling 26 years in the future....when he meant to only travel one week to stop Russell Wilson from winning Super Bowl XLVIII. | |
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