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The Onion (Website)

 The Onion (Website)
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 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website)
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TheOnion
 The Onion (Website)
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Advertisement:propertag.cmd.push(function() { proper_display('tvtropes_mobile_ad_1'); })The Onion is a satirical newspaper devoted to all aspects of American life and culture, frequently parodying tropes mentioned on This Very Wiki. It started in 1988 as a print newspaper by a pair of students at the University of Wisconsin, and originally distributed in Madison and Milwaukee. It has since branched off into the internet, including video clips supposedly originating from the Onion News Network. Its final print edition was published in December 2013, but the website has carried on.Some people mistakenly think The Onion is a legitimate news source, ranging from Christians against Harry Potter, Fox Nation.com, note a news website operated by the Fox News Channel to the People's Republic of China. Twice. Others are aware of its parody nature.The Onion also has an entertainment/pop culture newspaper and website called the AV Club, which features pop culture news, reviews of almost every form of media (TV, albums, books, etc.) and interviews presented in a humorous but factual tone. The site's head writer was Nathan Rabin until 2013. The AV Club maintains a separate identity and has very little (if anything) in common with The Onion, mostly to avoid people mistakenly thinking that the AV Club presents fake news like The Onion.Advertisement:propertag.cmd.push(function() { proper_display('tvtropes_mobile_ad_2'); })The Onion has in the past extended into a movie (critically derided, even by its own AV Club), and most recently two TV series — OSN Sportsdome on Comedy Central and Onion News Network on IFC. In 2013, a pilot for Onion News Empire, a behind-the-scenes look at the ONN newsroom, was made for Amazon.com. (It wasn't picked up.) There have also been three original Onion books - Our Dumb Century, a history of the 20th century told through fake Onion front pages, Our Dumb World, a Hollywood Atlas filled with stereotypes and Black Comedy, and The Onion Book of Known Knowledge, a mock encyclopedia of all existing knowledge.In Summer 2012, the Onion's YouTube arm debuted Onion Digital Studios, producing parodies of non-news programming ranging from nature documentaries to reality television. In Summer 2014, the Onion launched another sister site, ClickHole, a Clickbait Gag parodying sites such as Buzzfeed, Upworthy, The Huffington Post, and Cracked, and in 2015, they launched StarWipe, a parody of celebrity tabloids like TMZ. StarWipe was discontinued in July 2016. In 2018, the Onion released the podcast A Very Fatal Murder, which parodies True Crime podcasts such as Serial.Advertisement:propertag.cmd.push(function() { proper_display('tvtropes_mobile_ad_3'); })It's like a Transatlantic Equivalent of Private Eye (except decades younger, without the investigative journalism, and as a website) and similar to the later NJUZ and Newsbiscuit (which was created on the model "a British Onion"). Similarly, Ministry Of Harmony describes itself as "The Onion for China".There's also the satirical Venezuelan news blog El Chigüire Bipolar,note Spanish for "The Bipolar Capibara" which uses a similar, Onion-like format to lampoon the country's political situation, and Le Gorafinote the name is an inversion of Le Figaro, a rightwing newspaper, a French website created during the 2012 presidential campaign. And, last but not least, there's also the good old Uncyclopedia, which is to Wikipedia what The Onion is to journalism. As of 2019 there also exists a Stellaris version called Xenonion News created by fans of the game, similar to The Onion but set in a loosely connected Stellaris universe.The site can be found here.
 The Onion (Website)
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2020-10-05T06:10:17Z
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2020-10-05T06:10:17Z
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AttackOfTheFiftyFootWhatever
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BermudaTriangle
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Mockbuster
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 The Onion (Website) / int_10021cbc
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Frozen Dinner of Loneliness
 The Onion (Website) / int_10021cbc
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Frozen Dinner of Loneliness: "Stouffers To Include Suicide Prevention Tips On Single Serve Microwavable Meals"
 The Onion (Website) / int_10021cbc
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 The Onion (Website) / int_10d8aa14
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Fan Dumb
 The Onion (Website) / int_10d8aa14
comment
Fan Dumb: In-Universe. "Jon Hamm To Overenthusiastic Fan: 'You're Ruining Me For Everyone'". "Why Don't They Make A Second 'Godfather' Movie?"
 The Onion (Website) / int_10d8aa14
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 The Onion (Website) / int_10f35f3a
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Creator Breakdown
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comment
Creator Breakdown: In-Universe, "Study: Children Of Divorce Twice As Likely To Write Bad Poetry". "Abusive Father Can't Wait To See The Art He's Inspiring His Kids To Create ". "Study: Family History of Alcoholism Raises Risk of One-Man Show".
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Gang of Critters
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Gang of Critters: "Woodland Pals Hold Impromptu Oompah-Band Jamboree".
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No Celebrities Were Harmed
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No Celebrities Were Harmed: "Nation Once Again Comes Under Sway Of Pink-Faced Half-Wit".
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All Men Are Perverts
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All Men Are Perverts: "12-Year-Old Boy Scouts Offer To Give Breast Exams". "Poll Finds Majority Of Male Voters Would Have Elected Naked Woman". (NSFW)
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No Such Thing as Bad Publicity
 The Onion (Website) / int_12b1f5f3
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No Such Thing as Bad Publicity: "Bloomberg Campaign Raises Visibility By Pumping $5 Million Into #BloombergIsRacist Hashtag" invoked
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 The Onion (Website) / int_12e32c70
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True Art
 The Onion (Website) / int_12e32c70
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True Art: In-Universe: "Humanity Still Producing New Art as Though Megadeth's 'Rust in Peace' Doesn't Already Exist"
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 The Onion (Website) / int_1328fd9d
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Parenting the Husband
 The Onion (Website) / int_1328fd9d
comment
Parenting the Husband: Area Girlfriend, Boyfriend Achieve Perfect Mother-Son Relationship.
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 The Onion (Website) / int_133f1c12
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The Spymaster
 The Onion (Website) / int_133f1c12
comment
Semi-regular columnist Dept. Head Rawlings makes frequent reference to "the Barcelona debacle" in his articles.
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 The Onion (Website) / int_13646b1b
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My Friends... and Zoidberg
 The Onion (Website) / int_13646b1b
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My Friends... and Zoidberg: "Barbara Bush Passes Away Surrounded By Loved Ones, Jeb"
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 The Onion (Website) / int_143939c1
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Trailers Always Spoil
 The Onion (Website) / int_143939c1
comment
Trailers Always Spoil: "'Iron Man' Trailer To Be Made Into Feature Film". "Man Hates It When Trailer Gives Away Entire Premise Of Movie".
 The Onion (Website) / int_143939c1
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 The Onion (Website) / int_148e222c
type
Crosses the Line Twice
 The Onion (Website) / int_148e222c
comment
Crosses the Line Twice: In-Universe. "No Parent Should Ever Have To Bury His Child Alive", a perfect example of crossing the line way more than twice. "Look, Are We Going To Spend The Rest Of This Board Meeting Talking About Why I'm Covered In Blood And Feces Or Are We Going To Talk Business?"
 The Onion (Website) / int_148e222c
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 The Onion (Website) / int_14beeefd
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Darker and Edgier
 The Onion (Website) / int_14beeefd
comment
Darker and Edgier: "Taylor Swift Unveils Even Darker Persona With New Single 'Skullfucking Maggot Shit Boyfriend'".
 The Onion (Website) / int_14beeefd
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 The Onion (Website) / int_14e06eb9
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Jesus Was Crazy
 The Onion (Website) / int_14e06eb9
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Jesus Was Crazy: "Christ Converts To Islam"
 The Onion (Website) / int_14e06eb9
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 The Onion (Website) / int_14ed6ab7
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Does This Remind You of Anything?
 The Onion (Website) / int_14ed6ab7
comment
Does This Remind You of Anything?: Constantly; one is "Bush Refuses To Set Timetable For Withdrawal Of Head From White House Banister" "Gorilla Sales Skyrocket After Latest Gorilla Attack" "Hillary Clinton Quietly Asks Bill If He Still Finds Her Electable" is full of this too. "Creditors Repossess New England From Debt-Ridden U.S." "Alex DeLarge Forced To Step Down As Leader Of Droogs Amidst Allegations Of Sexual Misconduct"
 The Onion (Website) / int_14ed6ab7
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 The Onion (Website) / int_1506032a
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BoomHEADSHOT
 The Onion (Website) / int_1506032a
comment
Boom, Headshot!: Close Range, "The Game That Consists Of Nothing But Shooting People In The Face".
 The Onion (Website) / int_1506032a
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 The Onion (Website) / int_15184afb
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This Loser Is You
 The Onion (Website) / int_15184afb
comment
This Loser Is You: "Study: Women Always Answer Their Phones Unless They're Having Great Sex With Someone Else". "World's Lone Non-Telepathic Individual Still Completely Unaware". It just gets worse from the title; the illustration is just text reading "The image of the non-telepath has already been psychically transmitted to all of humanity and thus does not need to reproduced here." "BREAKING: Authorities Currently Racing Down Highway To Arrest You For Crime You Didn't Commit- Run!" Totally Unknown Guy Strolling Around Your Part Of Office For Some Reason . "Scientists Confirm First Case Of Zika Transmission From Article To Reader". "Breaking: The Onion Has Detected A Virus On Your Computer"
 The Onion (Website) / int_15184afb
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 The Onion (Website) / int_1561fbc4
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Mystery Magnet
 The Onion (Website) / int_1561fbc4
comment
Mystery Magnet: "Two Dozen More Bodies Found In Lake Wobegon"
 The Onion (Website) / int_1561fbc4
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 The Onion (Website) / int_16417501
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Perverse Sexual Lust
 The Onion (Website) / int_16417501
comment
Perverse Sexual Lust: "FCC Okays Nudity On TV If It's Alyson Hannigan"
 The Onion (Website) / int_16417501
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 The Onion (Website) / int_16df2fe7
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Meat-O-Vision
 The Onion (Website) / int_16df2fe7
comment
Meat-O-Vision: "Life-Raft Companion Looks Just Like Juicy Steak" "C.C. Sabathia, Prince Fielder Keep Imagining Each Other As Giant Talking Hot Dog, Hamburger"
 The Onion (Website) / int_16df2fe7
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 The Onion (Website) / int_17501df2
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Cool Old Guy
 The Onion (Website) / int_17501df2
comment
Some politicians are portrayed as leading lives completely different than what they actually do- ie. Joe Biden (until 2020) was a party-hearty Cool Old Guy, while John Kerry tends to be right in the middle of an action movie.
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 The Onion (Website) / int_17640aa8
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The Anti-Nihilist
 The Onion (Website) / int_17640aa8
comment
The Anti-Nihilist: "Existentialist Firefighter Delays 3 Deaths"
 The Onion (Website) / int_17640aa8
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"Well Done, Son!" Guy: "Romney Spends Day Tearfully Apologizing At Father's Grave". "NASCAR Driver [Aric Almirola]'s Parents Pay For Congratulatory Message On Side Of Son’s Car"
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Ferris Wheel of Doom
 The Onion (Website) / int_1785a1ad
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Ferris Wheel of Doom: "Report: 40,000 People Died On Ferris Wheels This Summer".
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 The Onion (Website) / int_188802c0
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Spurned into Suicide
 The Onion (Website) / int_188802c0
comment
Spurned into Suicide: ''David Cameron To Scottish People: ‘I’ll Kill Myself If You Leave’''
 The Onion (Website) / int_188802c0
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 The Onion (Website) / int_18a84025
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Only Six Faces
 The Onion (Website) / int_18a84025
comment
Only Six Faces: The American Voices feature has been showing the same six or so photos for over a decade, with different names and occupations each time (though one of them is often a systems analyst). Ambiguously used in the similar sports feature Fan on the Street, which always shows the same three photos with no names or occupations given. Lampshaded here.
 The Onion (Website) / int_18a84025
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"No Talking or Phones" Warning: "Vehement Anti-Cell-Phone Guy Finally Caves"
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Gone Horribly Wrong
 The Onion (Website) / int_19df659c
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Gone Horribly Wrong / My God, What Have I Done?: "What Kind Of Powdered Chocolate Drink Mix Have We Unleashed Upon The World?"
 The Onion (Website) / int_19df659c
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 The Onion (Website) / int_1b590025
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Dead All Along
 The Onion (Website) / int_1b590025
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Dead All Along: Alarming MRI Shows Peyton Manning Has Been Dead For Past 6 Months
 The Onion (Website) / int_1b590025
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 The Onion (Website) / int_1b65dfad
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The Cameo
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comment
The Cameo: Ben Stiller, Rachel Maddow, and Mike Huckabee were all on the TV show. The last two were on the same episode.
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 The Onion (Website) / int_1b73fd6c
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The Danza
 The Onion (Website) / int_1b73fd6c
comment
The Danza: In-Universe, Tracy Toth, aka Today Now's Tracy Gill.
 The Onion (Website) / int_1b73fd6c
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 The Onion (Website) / int_1ba17583
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The Ghost
 The Onion (Website) / int_1ba17583
comment
Clifford Banes has never actually appeared in his self-titled panel-discussion series In the Know with Clifford Banes; there's always a sit-in newscaster who gives an absurd reason for Banes' absence. The only time he did show up, he wore a perfect latex Julianna McKennis mask.
 The Onion (Website) / int_1ba17583
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 The Onion (Website) / int_1ba8eb64
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Visual Pun
 The Onion (Website) / int_1ba8eb64
comment
Visual Pun: "Guy Who Normally Holds Up Letter 'D' Sick This Week".
 The Onion (Website) / int_1ba8eb64
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 The Onion (Website) / int_1c0dbffc
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Pyromaniac
 The Onion (Website) / int_1c0dbffc
comment
Pyromaniac: "Top Ten Most Glorious Flames Of 2015".
 The Onion (Website) / int_1c0dbffc
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 The Onion (Website) / int_1c445e86
type
Poor Communication Kills
 The Onion (Website) / int_1c445e86
comment
Poor Communication Kills: In Our Dumb Century, World War I ends when Archduke Franz Ferdinand is unexpectedly found alive; he had apparently been living as a Croatian peasant for several years and was completely unaware that everyone thought he was dead. The Allies are obviously displeased that the war was just a big misunderstanding, so the German chancellor orders Ferdinand's real execution to appease them.
 The Onion (Website) / int_1c445e86
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The Onion (Website) / int_1c445e86
 The Onion (Website) / int_1d3e44f5
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Artifact of Attraction
 The Onion (Website) / int_1d3e44f5
comment
Artifact of Attraction: "Wool Blanket Destroys Commune".
 The Onion (Website) / int_1d3e44f5
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_1d3e44f5
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The Onion (Website) / int_1d3e44f5
 The Onion (Website) / int_1d53cca0
type
Clickbait Gag
 The Onion (Website) / int_1d53cca0
comment
Clickbait Gag: The article "How Internet Clickbait Works" describes the process of creating sensationalist content in nine steps, starting with nine days where the brain prepares to have an immediate reaction to "Check this out!" and ending with money mysteriously being earned.
 The Onion (Website) / int_1d53cca0
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The Onion (Website) / int_1d53cca0
 The Onion (Website) / int_1d6ac70d
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Dagwood Sandwich
 The Onion (Website) / int_1d6ac70d
comment
Dagwood Sandwich: "Report: American People Lead World In Compressing Big Sandwiches So They’re Bitable".
 The Onion (Website) / int_1d6ac70d
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_1d6ac70d
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The Onion (Website) / int_1d6ac70d
 The Onion (Website) / int_1d8733d3
type
Overly Narrow Superlative
 The Onion (Website) / int_1d8733d3
comment
Overly Narrow Superlative: According to "Best Sports Stadiums", "Michigan Stadium has been selected by The Saginaw News as the best 100,000-plus-seat venue in Washtenaw County for 13 consecutive years."
 The Onion (Website) / int_1d8733d3
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The Onion (Website) / int_1d8733d3
 The Onion (Website) / int_1d9a2764
type
Reality Ensues
 The Onion (Website) / int_1d9a2764
comment
Reality Ensues: "Being A Detective Who Talks To Ghosts Not As Exciting As TV" "Scrappy Band Of Lovable Misfits No Match For Rich Kids" does this in several ways, from the entire premise to more specific examples (the misfits get sued for a panty raid, and when they soak the rival camp's director and his eviction papers, he just gets another copy). "Romantic Comedy Behavior gets Real Life Man Arrested" Our Dumb Century has an article about Peter Parker's death by leukemia, noting that it's the sixth radiation-related death in the past month, following Reed Richards and his crew and Bruce Banner.
 The Onion (Website) / int_1d9a2764
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The Onion (Website) / int_1d9a2764
 The Onion (Website) / int_1e3a9a21
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Angrish
 The Onion (Website) / int_1e3a9a21
comment
Angrish: "BREAKING: Incomprehensible Shouting Named Official U.S. Language"
 The Onion (Website) / int_1e3a9a21
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_1e3a9a21
 The Onion (Website) / int_1ef7232d
type
Wild Child
 The Onion (Website) / int_1ef7232d
comment
Wild Child: "Girl Raised From Birth By Wolf Blitzer Taken Into Protective Custody".
 The Onion (Website) / int_1ef7232d
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_1ef7232d
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 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_1ef7232d
 The Onion (Website) / int_1f17e9fe
type
High-Altitude Interrogation
 The Onion (Website) / int_1f17e9fe
comment
High-Altitude Interrogation: It's reported in their web video "Nation's Hardass Cops Finally Find Time to Play Games" that "hardass cops can be fucked with for two more hours, at which point they will resume dangling lowlifes from rooftops until they get the answers they want."
 The Onion (Website) / int_1f17e9fe
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_1f17e9fe
 The Onion (Website) / int_1fb947b6
type
Just Train Wrong
 The Onion (Website) / int_1fb947b6
comment
Just Train Wrong: "Murder Mystery On Train Not So Fun In Real Life". It's supposed to be on a train in Wisconsin, yet the page image choice is of a Bay Area Rapid Transit (BART) train in San Francisco. "Circus Train Wreck Not Funny, Investigators Emphasize". Though the train crashed in Altoona, Pennsylvania, the picture is of an Indian Railways passenger train, and the car out of which the giraffes are sticking their heads is an electric locomotive.
 The Onion (Website) / int_1fb947b6
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The Onion (Website) / int_1fb947b6
 The Onion (Website) / int_1fc3d0a8
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Captain Obvious Aesop
 The Onion (Website) / int_1fc3d0a8
comment
Captain Obvious Aesop:invoked "Third Amendment Rights Group Celebrates Another Successful Year".
 The Onion (Website) / int_1fc3d0a8
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 The Onion (Website) / int_1fc3d0a8
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The Onion (Website) / int_1fc3d0a8
 The Onion (Website) / int_2006056c
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Girls Have Cooties
 The Onion (Website) / int_2006056c
comment
Girls Have Cooties: "10-Year-Old Denies Girl-Liking Allegations".
 The Onion (Website) / int_2006056c
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 The Onion (Website) / int_2006056c
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The Onion (Website) / int_2006056c
 The Onion (Website) / int_203141e3
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Cute and Psycho
 The Onion (Website) / int_203141e3
comment
Cute and Psycho: "A Vote For My Husband Is A Vote For Me Not Breaking Your Fucking Neck". Another example of this is combined with A God Am I: A Jerk Jock shooting innocent students and having killed animals for fun and written a manifesto about him skinning a classmate and wearing it as a pelt.
 The Onion (Website) / int_203141e3
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The Onion (Website) / int_203141e3
 The Onion (Website) / int_20314beb
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Cousin Oliver
 The Onion (Website) / int_20314beb
comment
Cousin Oliver: "To Join White House For Last Year Of Clinton Presidency".
 The Onion (Website) / int_20314beb
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 The Onion (Website) / int_20314beb
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The Onion (Website) / int_20314beb
 The Onion (Website) / int_20a14df0
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Wrong Genre Savvy
 The Onion (Website) / int_20a14df0
comment
Wrong Genre Savvy: "Man Who Will Die In Great Eastern Seaboard Flood Of 2023 Preparing For Mayan Apocalypse".
 The Onion (Website) / int_20a14df0
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_20a14df0
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The Onion (Website) / int_20a14df0
 The Onion (Website) / int_20d965e
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Gentleman Thief
 The Onion (Website) / int_20d965e
comment
Gentleman Thief: "Bad Boy Fencing Star Implicated In Daring Jewel Heist".
 The Onion (Website) / int_20d965e
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 The Onion (Website) / int_20d965e
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The Onion (Website) / int_20d965e
 The Onion (Website) / int_20e70d4e
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Popularity Polynomial
 The Onion (Website) / int_20e70d4e
comment
Popularity Polynomial: In-Universe, "Lava Lamps Revert From Passé Retro Kitsch Back To Novel Retro Camp"
 The Onion (Website) / int_20e70d4e
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_20e70d4e
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The Onion (Website) / int_20e70d4e
 The Onion (Website) / int_2112092c
type
Lifetime Movie of the Week
 The Onion (Website) / int_2112092c
comment
Lifetime Movie of the Week: "Oh, My God - The Baby!"
 The Onion (Website) / int_2112092c
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 The Onion (Website) / int_2112092c
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The Onion (Website) / int_2112092c
 The Onion (Website) / int_21304649
type
This Bear Was Framed
 The Onion (Website) / int_21304649
comment
This Bear Was Framed: Inverted in this story.
 The Onion (Website) / int_21304649
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_21304649
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The Onion (Website) / int_21304649
 The Onion (Website) / int_21535375
type
Blonde Republican Sex Kitten
 The Onion (Website) / int_21535375
comment
Blonde Republican Sex Kitten: Joad Cressbeckler is a twist on this trope. He's a parody of an old, Xenophobic, curmudgeony conservative, but he frequently ends up taking liberal stances on things like gay rights, immigration, and GMOs, but for his own bizarre reasons.
 The Onion (Website) / int_21535375
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 The Onion (Website) / int_21535375
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The Onion (Website) / int_21535375
 The Onion (Website) / int_21c03383
type
Religion Tropes
 The Onion (Website) / int_21c03383
comment
Religion Tropes God Is Flawed: "God Diagnosed With Bipolar Disorder". Gravity Is Only a Theory: The article "Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New 'Intelligent Falling' Theory", where fundamentalist Christians are no longer content to get equal time with biology to preach theology in biology class. They now also want equal time in the physics class, demanding that the theories of Newton and Einstein step back in favor of the theory that the universe is held together by Jesus' love. Jesus Was Crazy: "Christ Converts To Islam" Activist Fundamentalist Antics: Millions more, however, have decried the recalcitrant Christ's apostasy, breaking ties with Him and calling His conversion "a heathen act" of "utmost blasphemy before Himself". Thou Shalt Not Kill: "God Angrily Clarifies 'Don't Kill' Rule".
 The Onion (Website) / int_21c03383
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 The Onion (Website) / int_21c03383
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The Onion (Website) / int_21c03383
 The Onion (Website) / int_21d70919
type
Crapsack World
 The Onion (Website) / int_21d70919
comment
Crapsack World: "Liberty City Police Face Allegations Of Incompetence, Brutality". The world as a whole. In The Know's world has ghouls, robot overlords, baby skulls as jewelry... Rule of Funny produces some hilariously-horrific things. Alluded to in the article This What World Like Now, following the Boston Marathon blast in April 2013. The last line says it all:
 The Onion (Website) / int_21d70919
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The Onion (Website) / int_21d70919
 The Onion (Website) / int_21f7ff0f
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Knight in Sour Armor
 The Onion (Website) / int_21f7ff0f
comment
Knight in Sour Armor: Existentialist Firefighter Delays Three Deaths
 The Onion (Website) / int_21f7ff0f
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_21f7ff0f
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The Onion (Website) / int_21f7ff0f
 The Onion (Website) / int_222dc873
type
Black Comedy
 The Onion (Website) / int_222dc873
comment
Black Comedy: "More Americans Falling For 'Get Rich Slowly Over A Lifetime Of Hard Work' Schemes". "University Implicated In Checks-For-Degrees Scheme". "Budget Mix-Up Provides Nation's Schools With Enough Money To Properly Educate Students". "‘The Onion’ Offers A Swift, Painless Death To Edward Snowden".
 The Onion (Website) / int_222dc873
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 The Onion (Website) / int_222dc873
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The Onion (Website) / int_222dc873
 The Onion (Website) / int_22a27b19
type
Alpha Bitch
 The Onion (Website) / int_22a27b19
comment
Alpha Bitch: Fact Zone host Brooke Alvarez. "Group Of Popular Girls Reduces Nation To Tears"
 The Onion (Website) / int_22a27b19
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_22a27b19
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The Onion (Website) / int_22a27b19
 The Onion (Website) / int_22cf536c
type
Chekhov's Gun
 The Onion (Website) / int_22cf536c
comment
Chekhov's Gun: "Gun Goes Off During Life's Third Act".
 The Onion (Website) / int_22cf536c
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 The Onion (Website) / int_22cf536c
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The Onion (Website) / int_22cf536c
 The Onion (Website) / int_22d639e6
type
If It Bleeds, It Leads
 The Onion (Website) / int_22d639e6
comment
If It Bleeds, It Leads: "Missing Girl Probably Raped".
 The Onion (Website) / int_22d639e6
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_22d639e6
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The Onion (Website) / int_22d639e6
 The Onion (Website) / int_230d64
type
Screw the Rules, I Have Money!
 The Onion (Website) / int_230d64
comment
Screw the Rules, I Have Money!: "Wealthy Teen Nearly Experiences Consequence".
 The Onion (Website) / int_230d64
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_230d64
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The Onion (Website) / int_230d64
 The Onion (Website) / int_23698fa8
type
Aborted Arc
 The Onion (Website) / int_23698fa8
comment
Aborted Arc: The mysterious congressman's presidential campaign initially seemed like just another funny article, but it was then followed up by him challenging the other candidates to a debate at dawn. Since then, nothing.
 The Onion (Website) / int_23698fa8
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_23698fa8
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The Onion (Website) / int_23698fa8
 The Onion (Website) / int_237f7eeb
type
Missing White Woman Syndrome
 The Onion (Website) / int_237f7eeb
comment
Missing White Woman Syndrome / Beauty = Goodness: Inverted: "Ugly Girl Killed". "Missing Girl Probably Raped" "Thousands Of Girls Match Description Of Missing Sorority Sister"
 The Onion (Website) / int_237f7eeb
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_237f7eeb
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The Onion (Website) / int_237f7eeb
 The Onion (Website) / int_23f1384a
type
Babies Make Everything Better
 The Onion (Website) / int_23f1384a
comment
Babies Make Everything Better: Subverted: "Autistic Child Ruins Marriage He Was Born To Save"
 The Onion (Website) / int_23f1384a
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 The Onion (Website) / int_23f1384a
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The Onion (Website) / int_23f1384a
 The Onion (Website) / int_24414d6a
type
President for Life
 The Onion (Website) / int_24414d6a
comment
President for Life: "Clinton Declares Self President For Life," complete with Commissar Cap and Chest of Medals.
 The Onion (Website) / int_24414d6a
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_24414d6a
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_24414d6a
 The Onion (Website) / int_24ddbe2b
type
Saw
 The Onion (Website) / int_24ddbe2b
comment
Saw "Star Wars" 27 Times: "Clinton Takes Leave Of Office To Stand In Line For ''Star Wars: Episode I''" written during the Clinton administration mentions the President planning to see The Phantom Menace at least twenty times during its opening weekend, after which he will return to his office and follow a once-a-day viewing schedule. "Man Googles Matt Damon's Address Because, Well, He's Crazy And Wants To Murder Him". He's also recorded Ocean's Eleven on his DVR and has viewed the film "more than 200 times in the past month", and is in possession of 100 DVD copies of The Legend of Bagger Vance.
 The Onion (Website) / int_24ddbe2b
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 The Onion (Website) / int_24ddbe2b
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The Onion (Website) / int_24ddbe2b
 The Onion (Website) / int_251bbe0e
type
Genre Blindness
 The Onion (Website) / int_251bbe0e
comment
Genre Blindness: "Experts Agree Giant, Razor-Clawed Bioengineered Crabs Pose No Threat." Also, the woman in this commentary.
 The Onion (Website) / int_251bbe0e
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 The Onion (Website) / int_251bbe0e
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The Onion (Website) / int_251bbe0e
 The Onion (Website) / int_2547b359
type
Real Dreams Are Weirder
 The Onion (Website) / int_2547b359
comment
Real Dreams Are Weirder: "MLK: I Had A Really Weird Dream Last Night", from Our Dumb Century. "Chef Cooks 'Dream Omelette' That Came To Him In A Dream".
 The Onion (Website) / int_2547b359
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_2547b359
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_2547b359
 The Onion (Website) / int_25524784
type
No-Holds-Barred Beatdown
 The Onion (Website) / int_25524784
comment
No-Holds-Barred Beatdown: "If I See Doug, I'm Going To Kick His Ass vs. Apparently Doug Is A Better Fighter Than I Thought" Five Or Six Dudes Jump Out of Nowhere And Just Start Whaling on This One Guy
 The Onion (Website) / int_25524784
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 The Onion (Website) / int_25524784
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The Onion (Website) / int_25524784
 The Onion (Website) / int_2565ac2
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Save Our Students
 The Onion (Website) / int_2565ac2
comment
Save Our Students: "Naive Teacher Believes in Her Students".
 The Onion (Website) / int_2565ac2
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_2565ac2
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_2565ac2
 The Onion (Website) / int_259d5879
type
Anachronism Stew
 The Onion (Website) / int_259d5879
comment
Anachronism Stew: One Jim Anchower column is randomly set in the future.
 The Onion (Website) / int_259d5879
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_259d5879
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_259d5879
 The Onion (Website) / int_2612a967
type
It Has Been an Honor
 The Onion (Website) / int_2612a967
comment
It Has Been an Honor: "It's Been An Honor, Gentlemen," Shift Supervisor Says As Giant Vat Of Molten Cheese Erupts
 The Onion (Website) / int_2612a967
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_2612a967
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The Onion (Website) / int_2612a967
 The Onion (Website) / int_267ce120
type
Dirty Old Man
 The Onion (Website) / int_267ce120
comment
Dirty Old Man: Almost every article about Joe Biden portrays him this way.
 The Onion (Website) / int_267ce120
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_267ce120
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_267ce120
 The Onion (Website) / int_26eb6287
type
Funny Background Event
 The Onion (Website) / int_26eb6287
comment
Funny Background Event: The news ticker at the bottom of Newsroom videos. Also, some screenshots of websites have headlines as funny as the news ticker's. "Obama Currently Being Chased In Background Of Secret Service Hearing"
 The Onion (Website) / int_26eb6287
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_26eb6287
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_26eb6287
 The Onion (Website) / int_270ed8b8
type
Candlelit Bath
 The Onion (Website) / int_270ed8b8
comment
Candlelit Bath: "Sexy Career Woman To Take Hot Bath After Stressful Day"
 The Onion (Website) / int_270ed8b8
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_270ed8b8
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_270ed8b8
 The Onion (Website) / int_272abb98
type
Shoot the Shaggy Dog
 The Onion (Website) / int_272abb98
comment
Shoot the Shaggy Dog: "Heroic PETA Commandos Kill 49, Save Rabbit" becomes this when said rabbit gets caught and killed by a fox minutes after being released into the wild.
 The Onion (Website) / int_272abb98
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_272abb98
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_272abb98
 The Onion (Website) / int_2740531a
type
She Cleans Up Nicely
 The Onion (Website) / int_2740531a
comment
She Cleans Up Nicely: "Bearded Lady Cleans Up Real Nice".
 The Onion (Website) / int_2740531a
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_2740531a
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_2740531a
 The Onion (Website) / int_27fdd6a1
type
Divine Parentage
 The Onion (Website) / int_27fdd6a1
comment
Divine Parentage: "Michael Phelps Spots Estranged Father Poseidon In Stands."
 The Onion (Website) / int_27fdd6a1
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_27fdd6a1
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_27fdd6a1
 The Onion (Website) / int_280333d4
type
Hollywood Heart Attack
 The Onion (Website) / int_280333d4
comment
Hollywood Heart Attack: "Doctors Say Average Heart Attack Victim Doesn’t Clutch At Chest Nearly Dramatically Enough".
 The Onion (Website) / int_280333d4
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_280333d4
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_280333d4
 The Onion (Website) / int_2835de61
type
Evil Power Vacuum
 The Onion (Website) / int_2835de61
comment
Evil Power Vacuum: "Second-Most Popular Kid In School Assumes Power Following Death Of Star Quarterback".
 The Onion (Website) / int_2835de61
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_2835de61
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 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_2835de61
 The Onion (Website) / int_287865ea
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Help Yourself in the Future
 The Onion (Website) / int_287865ea
comment
Help Yourself in the Future: "Time-Traveling Hillary Clinton Warns Self To Do Everything In Exact Same Way"
 The Onion (Website) / int_287865ea
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_287865ea
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_287865ea
 The Onion (Website) / int_28a5213a
type
Small Name, Big Ego
 The Onion (Website) / int_28a5213a
comment
Small Name, Big Ego: "Somebody's Got to Save This Country From Certain Doom, And Let's Face It, That Person Is Me". The parody editorial cartoonist Stan Kelly displays traits of this frequently. In the book collection, he even dedicates it to himself for having the guts to "tell it like it is". "Coworkers Dying To Tell Man He's Going To Be Fired" has the underperforming and lazy Mark Tendulkar excited about making one sale.
 The Onion (Website) / int_28a5213a
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_28a5213a
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_28a5213a
 The Onion (Website) / int_28b08686
type
A Party, Also Known as an Orgy
 The Onion (Website) / int_28b08686
comment
A Party, Also Known as an Orgy: "Obama Fed Grapes While Urging Press Conference To Enjoy Orgy"
 The Onion (Website) / int_28b08686
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_28b08686
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_28b08686
 The Onion (Website) / int_294ed981
type
Bilingual Bonus
 The Onion (Website) / int_294ed981
comment
Bilingual Bonus: The so-called founder's last name is Zwiebel, German for "Onion".
 The Onion (Website) / int_294ed981
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_294ed981
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_294ed981
 The Onion (Website) / int_2a321a1f
type
A Date with Rosie Palms
 The Onion (Website) / int_2a321a1f
comment
A Date with Rosie Palms: "Ho Ho Ho, I Saw you Masturbating!" Also an example of Squick and Take That, Audience! "13-Year-Old Nearing Record For Most Masturbations In One Day". "Americans Observing 9/11 By Trying Not To Masturbate" "New Wearable Computer Also Sucks Your Dick"
 The Onion (Website) / int_2a321a1f
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_2a321a1f
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 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_2a321a1f
 The Onion (Website) / int_2af6bbeb
type
Break the Haughty
 The Onion (Website) / int_2af6bbeb
comment
Break the Haughty: "Man Who Skipped Airport’s Moving Walkway Immediately Realizes What An Arrogant Fool He’s Been" "Ask the Dauphin". While the Dauphin is an arrogant Royal Brat with an incestuous crush on his sister for the responses to the first three letters, in the fourth, he's completely broken as a result of being thrown in jail, and he's shown pleading for news about his family and asking for a fire.
 The Onion (Website) / int_2af6bbeb
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_2af6bbeb
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_2af6bbeb
 The Onion (Website) / int_2b65aa76
type
Straw Critic
 The Onion (Website) / int_2b65aa76
comment
Straw Critic: Jackie Harvey is an inversion, as he loves damn near any movie put out.
 The Onion (Website) / int_2b65aa76
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_2b65aa76
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_2b65aa76
 The Onion (Website) / int_2b706ca
type
More Dakka
 The Onion (Website) / int_2b706ca
comment
More Dakka: "Everyone At Office Planning Shooting Spree For Same Day" "AR-15 Assault Rifle Beginning To Worry It May Never Get To Kill Innocent Person"
 The Onion (Website) / int_2b706ca
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_2b706ca
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_2b706ca
 The Onion (Website) / int_2b7d29e1
type
Artifact Title
 The Onion (Website) / int_2b7d29e1
comment
Artifact Title: "Steeler Defense Renamed 'Mid-Level White-Collar Curtain' To More Accurately Reflect Contemporary Pittsburgh".
 The Onion (Website) / int_2b7d29e1
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_2b7d29e1
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_2b7d29e1
 The Onion (Website) / int_2be271c7
type
Hollywood Hacking
 The Onion (Website) / int_2be271c7
comment
Hollywood Hacking: "Fast-Talking Computer Hacker Just Has To Break Through Encryption Shield Before Uploading Nano-Virus"
 The Onion (Website) / int_2be271c7
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_2be271c7
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_2be271c7
 The Onion (Website) / int_2c620f20
type
Cleanup Crew
 The Onion (Website) / int_2c620f20
comment
Cleanup Crew: "High-Powered Washington Fixer Tells Blood-Soaked Obama To Listen Carefully".
 The Onion (Website) / int_2c620f20
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_2c620f20
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_2c620f20
 The Onion (Website) / int_2cd22076
type
Fantastic Drug
 The Onion (Website) / int_2cd22076
comment
Fantastic Drug: Gaseous Planets serve as this in "God Completely Fucked Up After Huffing Gaseous Planet".
 The Onion (Website) / int_2cd22076
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_2cd22076
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_2cd22076
 The Onion (Website) / int_2cf282ea
type
She Is All Grown Up
 The Onion (Website) / int_2cf282ea
comment
She Is All Grown Up: "Teenage Girl Blossoming Into Beautiful Object".
 The Onion (Website) / int_2cf282ea
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_2cf282ea
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_2cf282ea
 The Onion (Website) / int_2d30ecda
type
Strangely Specific Horoscope
 The Onion (Website) / int_2d30ecda
comment
Strangely Specific Horoscope: Every issue has an insane horoscope with strangely specific and violent predictions. Played for Laughs. Couple of concrete examples: Pisces: After years of work, you will be asked to submit your paper called "There Is Nothing Like A Good Plate Of Bacon And Eggs" to the philosophy department at the Sorbonne. Aries: Your plan to put on a spectacular song-and-dance show to raise desperately needed cash will somehow fail to save your foundering musical. Taurus: You will realize too late that an absolute monarch is still in thrall to the needs of his subjects when your hamsters start dying of starvation.
 The Onion (Website) / int_2d30ecda
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_2d30ecda
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_2d30ecda
 The Onion (Website) / int_2d4a6d8c
type
Sophisticated as Hell
 The Onion (Website) / int_2d4a6d8c
comment
Sophisticated as Hell: Smoove B. Pretty much all of Horrifying Planet, especially this one. The last quote in this article. "Epic Saga of Employee's Ineptitude Passed Down Through Generations Of Coworkers"
 The Onion (Website) / int_2d4a6d8c
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_2d4a6d8c
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_2d4a6d8c
 The Onion (Website) / int_2d4fa515
type
Ax-Crazy
 The Onion (Website) / int_2d4fa515
comment
Ax-Crazy : "A Vote For My Husband Is A Vote For Me Not Breaking Your Fucking Neck". Another example of this is combined with A God Am I: A Jerk Jock shooting innocent students and having killed animals for fun and written a manifesto about him skinning a classmate and wearing it as a pelt.
 The Onion (Website) / int_2d4fa515
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_2d4fa515
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_2d4fa515
 The Onion (Website) / int_2dba7575
type
Wacky Fratboy Hijinx
 The Onion (Website) / int_2dba7575
comment
Wacky Fratboy Hijinx: "Online University Cracks Down on Rowdy Online Fraternity".
 The Onion (Website) / int_2dba7575
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_2dba7575
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_2dba7575
 The Onion (Website) / int_2e032e41
type
Latin Lover
 The Onion (Website) / int_2e032e41
comment
Latin Lover: "Small Town Ravished By Alejandro"
 The Onion (Website) / int_2e032e41
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_2e032e41
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_2e032e41
 The Onion (Website) / int_2e0c6c38
type
Eskimos Aren't Real
 The Onion (Website) / int_2e0c6c38
comment
Eskimos Aren't Real: "I Sometimes Wish Lawyers Existed Outside The Fantastical World Of My Novels"
 The Onion (Website) / int_2e0c6c38
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_2e0c6c38
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_2e0c6c38
 The Onion (Website) / int_2f94135c
type
Thou Shalt Not Kill
 The Onion (Website) / int_2f94135c
comment
Thou Shalt Not Kill: "God Angrily Clarifies 'Don't Kill' Rule".
 The Onion (Website) / int_2f94135c
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_2f94135c
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_2f94135c
 The Onion (Website) / int_3033b958
type
Giant Enemy Crab
 The Onion (Website) / int_3033b958
comment
Giant Enemy Crab: "Experts Agree Giant, Razor-Clawed Bioengineered Crabs Pose No Threat".
 The Onion (Website) / int_3033b958
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_3033b958
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_3033b958
 The Onion (Website) / int_30d2ae29
type
Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
 The Onion (Website) / int_30d2ae29
comment
Self-Fulfilling Prophecy: "Report: Things Finally As Bad As Trump Claims"
 The Onion (Website) / int_30d2ae29
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_30d2ae29
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_30d2ae29
 The Onion (Website) / int_30ed4f7d
type
Sleazy Politician
 The Onion (Website) / int_30ed4f7d
comment
Sleazy Politician: "City Of Chicago To Modernize Outdated Graft Programs" "Illinois Supreme Court Deems Rahm Emanuel Sleazy Enough To Run For Mayor Of Chicago" "Neighbors Confront Alcoholic Child Abuser About His Lawn"
 The Onion (Website) / int_30ed4f7d
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_30ed4f7d
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_30ed4f7d
 The Onion (Website) / int_30fde463
type
Word Salad Philosophy
 The Onion (Website) / int_30fde463
comment
Word Salad Philosophy: "Raving Lunatic Obviously Took Some Advanced Physics".
 The Onion (Website) / int_30fde463
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_30fde463
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_30fde463
 The Onion (Website) / int_319e4a2f
type
Even Evil Has Standards
 The Onion (Website) / int_319e4a2f
comment
Even Evil Has Standards: "Jerry Sandusky Horrified By Behavior of Rutgers Basketball Coach" "Kim Jong-Un Comes Out In Support Of Gay Marriage" "Satan Refuses To Accept Any More Catholic Priests In Hell" The titular cartoonist of Kelly Comics has just about every detestable right-wing view you can think of, but even he is against people who publically display the Confederate flag. He's also pro-choice, if only because he doesn't want to pay child support.
 The Onion (Website) / int_319e4a2f
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_319e4a2f
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_319e4a2f
 The Onion (Website) / int_31ae6183
type
Got Me Doing It
 The Onion (Website) / int_31ae6183
comment
Got Me Doing It: Referenced by name in the last paragraph of Man Has Derogatory Nickname For Every Neighboring Town.
 The Onion (Website) / int_31ae6183
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_31ae6183
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_31ae6183
 The Onion (Website) / int_31c3bb94
type
Firemen Are Hot
 The Onion (Website) / int_31c3bb94
comment
Firemen Are Hot / Even the Guys Want Him / Black Comedy: "Incredibly Sexy Firefighter Tragically Dies In Steamy Blaze".
 The Onion (Website) / int_31c3bb94
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_31c3bb94
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_31c3bb94
 The Onion (Website) / int_31da1e24
type
Shipper on Deck
 The Onion (Website) / int_31da1e24
comment
Shipper on Deck: Subverted in "Guests Forced To Pretend Wedding A Good Thing", in which it's repeatedly made clear how unhealthy the couple's relationship is. That said, even the only source willing to say straight out that the marriage won't last remarks that they're a "cute couple."
 The Onion (Website) / int_31da1e24
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-0.3
 The Onion (Website) / int_31da1e24
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_31da1e24
 The Onion (Website) / int_32cb267a
type
Magical Negro
 The Onion (Website) / int_32cb267a
comment
Magical Negro: "Maya Angelou Honored For Courage, Blackness".
 The Onion (Website) / int_32cb267a
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_32cb267a
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_32cb267a
 The Onion (Website) / int_334e48a1
type
After the End
 The Onion (Website) / int_334e48a1
comment
After the End: "Person Who Will One Day Become Warlord-Ruler Of What Was Once Nebraska Born In Omaha Hospital" claims that the USA will be a post-apocalyptic wasteland by the time a newly-born baby reaches adulthood. This one also has wild Mood Whiplash.
 The Onion (Website) / int_334e48a1
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_334e48a1
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_334e48a1
 The Onion (Website) / int_33f6c897
type
Stoners Are Funny
 The Onion (Website) / int_33f6c897
comment
Stoners Are Funny: The Stoner: Jim Anchower. Everybody Must Get Stoned: "World's Top Scientists Ponder: What If The Whole Universe Is, Like, One Huge Atom?" "Everyone Involved In Pizza's Preparation, Delivery, Purchase Extremely High".
 The Onion (Website) / int_33f6c897
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_33f6c897
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_33f6c897
 The Onion (Website) / int_342f0ffa
type
Discriminate and Switch
 The Onion (Website) / int_342f0ffa
comment
Discriminate and Switch: "I Won't Have My Daughter Bringing A Black Man Into This House Until I've Tidied Up And Created A Welcoming Environment"
 The Onion (Website) / int_342f0ffa
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_342f0ffa
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_342f0ffa
 The Onion (Website) / int_34735a64
type
RubeGoldbergMachine
 The Onion (Website) / int_34735a64
comment
Rube Goldberg Machine: "Hot Wheels Ranked Number One Toy For Rolling Down Ramp, Knocking Over Dominoes That Send Marble Down A Funnel, Dropping Onto Teeter-Totter That Yanks On String, Causing Pulley System To Raise Wooden Block, Propelling Series Of Twine Rollers That Unwind Spring, Launching Tennis Ball Across Room, Inching Tire Down Slope Until It Hits Power Switch, Activating Table Fan That Blows Toy Ship With Nail Attached To It Across Kiddie Pool, Popping Water Balloon That Fills Cup, Weighing Down Lever That Forces Basketball Down Track, Nudging Broomstick On Axis To Rotate, Allowing Golf Ball To Roll Into Sideways Coffee Mug, Which Tumbles Down Row Of Hardcover Books Until Handle Catches Hook Attached To Lever That Causes Wooden Mallet To Slam Down On Serving Spoon, Catapulting Small Ball Into Cup Attached By Ribbon To Lazy Susan, Which Spins Until It Pushes D Battery Down Incline Plane, Tipping Over Salt Shaker To Season Omelet"
 The Onion (Website) / int_34735a64
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_34735a64
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_34735a64
 The Onion (Website) / int_348eda5f
type
Public Medium Ignorance
 The Onion (Website) / int_348eda5f
comment
Public Medium Ignorance: "NASCAR Coach Reveals Winning Strategy: Drive Fast".
 The Onion (Website) / int_348eda5f
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_348eda5f
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_348eda5f
 The Onion (Website) / int_34b33a09
type
You Should Have Died Instead
 The Onion (Website) / int_34b33a09
comment
You Should Have Died Instead: "Victim In Fatal Car Accident Tragically Not Glenn Beck". "Firefighter Died To Save Unimpressive Teen".
 The Onion (Website) / int_34b33a09
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_34b33a09
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_34b33a09
 The Onion (Website) / int_34dcfc96
type
Kick the Dog
 The Onion (Website) / int_34dcfc96
comment
Kick the Dog: In "Coworkers Dying To Tell Man He's Going To Be Fired", not only is Mark Tendulkar, the man in question, a slacker who thinks he's hot stuff despite his incompetence, but he also badmouths the one coworker who defends him, albeit not knowing that said person is doing so.
 The Onion (Website) / int_34dcfc96
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_34dcfc96
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_34dcfc96
 The Onion (Website) / int_34f6774c
type
Concept Album
 The Onion (Website) / int_34f6774c
comment
Concept Album: "NASA Launches David Bowie Concept Mission". "Bruce Springsteen Releases New Sci-Fi Concept Album About Struggles of Poor Miners Working On Mars".
 The Onion (Website) / int_34f6774c
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_34f6774c
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_34f6774c
 The Onion (Website) / int_3517000d
type
Mad Scientist
 The Onion (Website) / int_3517000d
comment
Mad Scientist: "Corpse-Reanimation Technology Still 10 Years Off, Say MIT Mad Scientists". "Mad Scientist's Plot Thwarted by Budget Cuts".
 The Onion (Website) / int_3517000d
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_3517000d
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_3517000d
 The Onion (Website) / int_352151a3
type
Recursive Reality
 The Onion (Website) / int_352151a3
comment
Recursive Reality: "Physicists Discover Our Universe Is Fictional Setting Of Cop Show Called 'Hard Case"
 The Onion (Website) / int_352151a3
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_352151a3
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_352151a3
 The Onion (Website) / int_35a858b3
type
Cluster F-Bomb
 The Onion (Website) / int_35a858b3
comment
Cluster F-Bomb: Oy. "Holy Shit: Man Walks On Fucking Moon". "Sony Releases Stupid Piece of Shit That Doesn't Fucking Work". "Supreme Court Upholds Freedom Of Speech In Obscenity-Filled Ruling". The whole week of articles directly after 9/11 was called "The Holy Fucking Shit Edition". "Are Tests Biased Against Students Who Don't Give A Shit?" "Where The Fuck Is Diane With My Fair-Trade Coffee?" "Department Of Education Study Finds Teaching These Little Shits No Longer Worth It". "Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades", a profanity-laced faux editorial in which Gillette's then-CEO "announced" that the company would introduce a five-blade razor. Became an example of Life Imitates Art a little more than a year later when Gillette came out with exactly that product. From Our Dumb Century: "Last Night's Fireside Chat Just a Stream of Cuss Words." After the Sandy Hook shooting: "Fuck Everything, Nation Reports".
 The Onion (Website) / int_35a858b3
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_35a858b3
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_35a858b3
 The Onion (Website) / int_36215b80
type
Sex Sells
 The Onion (Website) / int_36215b80
comment
Sex Sells: "Poll Finds Majority Of Male Voters Would Have Elected Naked Woman". (NSFW)
 The Onion (Website) / int_36215b80
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_36215b80
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_36215b80
 The Onion (Website) / int_363f1f98
type
Former Child Star
 The Onion (Website) / int_363f1f98
comment
Former Child Star: "Entertainment Scientists Warn Miley Cyrus Will Be Depleted By 2013".
 The Onion (Website) / int_363f1f98
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_363f1f98
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_363f1f98
 The Onion (Website) / int_36e63b81
type
Rule of Cool
 The Onion (Website) / int_36e63b81
comment
Rule of Cool: "Nation Demands Tax Dollars Only Be Wasted On Stuff That's Awesome". "Supreme Court: Death Penalty Is 'Totally Badass'".
 The Onion (Website) / int_36e63b81
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_36e63b81
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_36e63b81
 The Onion (Website) / int_371b253a
type
Testosterone Poisoning
 The Onion (Website) / int_371b253a
comment
Testosterone Poisoning: "New Texas-Style Yogurt To Feed Man-Size Hunger For Yogurt"
 The Onion (Website) / int_371b253a
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_371b253a
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_371b253a
 The Onion (Website) / int_37517526
type
Photoshop Filter of Evil
 The Onion (Website) / int_37517526
comment
Photoshop Filter of Evil: This cheap trick is spoofed among many other examples of Manipulative Editing in the manufactured satirical crime story "Man Had Sex With Wife Thousands Of Times Before Killing Her".
 The Onion (Website) / int_37517526
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 The Onion (Website) / int_38d12399
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Teens Are Monsters
 The Onion (Website) / int_38d12399
comment
Teens Are Monsters: "15-Year-Old Girl Viciously Torn Apart By Rabid Pack Of Peers" "Brain-Dead Teen, Only Capable Of Rolling Eyes And Texting, To Be Euthanized". "'100% of Teenagers Huge Fucking Assholes' Confirms Study By Sobbing, Red-Faced Scientist".
 The Onion (Website) / int_38d12399
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The Onion (Website) / int_38d12399
 The Onion (Website) / int_3950c1f0
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Poe's Law
 The Onion (Website) / int_3950c1f0
comment
Poe's Law: Many, many times some articles have been mistaken for legitimate ones. "Republicans Vote To Repeal Obama-Backed Bill That Would Destroy Asteroid Headed For Earth" actually provoked a Libertarian blogger to agree. The most famous example, arguably, is the Chinese newspaper falling for the story about Congress threatening to leave Washington D.C. unless a better building was built (a parody of threats made by sports teams to relocate unless they received a new stadium). The one about Harry Potter sparking a rise in witchcraft, as well as the video about the boy bankrupting the Make-A-Wish Foundation with infinite wishes, have shown up in some email forwards. This site archives Facebook reactions treating the articles as real.
 The Onion (Website) / int_3950c1f0
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 The Onion (Website) / int_39ed1c8a
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Conspiracy Theorist
 The Onion (Website) / int_39ed1c8a
comment
Conspiracy Theorist: "Construction Complete On 9/11 Truther Memorial". "Conspiracy Theorist Has Elaborate Explanation For Why He's Single".
 The Onion (Website) / int_39ed1c8a
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 The Onion (Website) / int_3aaa3a78
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24-Hour News Networks
 The Onion (Website) / int_3aaa3a78
comment
24-Hour News Networks: "Media Landscape Redefined By 24-Second News Cycle"
 The Onion (Website) / int_3aaa3a78
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 The Onion (Website) / int_3ab4530c
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Crisis Crossover
 The Onion (Website) / int_3ab4530c
comment
Crisis Crossover: "Clinton Goes Back In Time, Teams Up With Golden Age Clinton".
 The Onion (Website) / int_3ab4530c
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 The Onion (Website) / int_3aec9e5e
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Properly Paranoid
 The Onion (Website) / int_3aec9e5e
comment
Properly Paranoid: "Paranoid Syrian Man Thinks Government Out To Get Him"
 The Onion (Website) / int_3aec9e5e
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 The Onion (Website) / int_3b5fcbb7
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Artifact of Doom
 The Onion (Website) / int_3b5fcbb7
comment
Artifact of Doom: "Ashton Moves On From Demi, Dating Evil Black Disc".
 The Onion (Website) / int_3b5fcbb7
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The Onion (Website) / int_3b5fcbb7
 The Onion (Website) / int_3b79029a
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Crapsaccharine World
 The Onion (Website) / int_3b79029a
comment
Crapsaccharine World: The world seen in Today Now!
 The Onion (Website) / int_3b79029a
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The Onion (Website) / int_3b79029a
 The Onion (Website) / int_3c0a4666
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Noodle Incident
 The Onion (Website) / int_3c0a4666
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Noodle Incident: "There Should Be No Secrets In Our Relationship Excluding The Events Of March 2, 2004". Semi-regular columnist Dept. Head Rawlings makes frequent reference to "the Barcelona debacle" in his articles. "The Onion Urges Barack Obama To Come Clean About The Basilisk Project".
 The Onion (Website) / int_3c0a4666
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 The Onion (Website) / int_3d2c6d30
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Skewed Priorities
 The Onion (Website) / int_3d2c6d30
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Skewed Priorities: "CDC Officials Announce Free Ice Cream For Everyone, Delicious Tasty Ice Cream, And Also There Is An Ebola Outbreak" "Survivors Of Gas Station Explosion Mourn Tragic Loss Of Gas"
 The Onion (Website) / int_3d2c6d30
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 The Onion (Website) / int_3d85c6bc
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Black Speech
 The Onion (Website) / int_3d85c6bc
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Black Speech: "Royal Baby Speaks First Words"
 The Onion (Website) / int_3d85c6bc
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 The Onion (Website) / int_3dd3951e
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Cowboy Cop
 The Onion (Website) / int_3dd3951e
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Cowboy Cop: "Lone Wolf Ashcroft Given Rookie Partner". "Entire LAPD Precinct Made Up Of Loose Cannons" takes this Up to Eleven.
 The Onion (Website) / int_3dd3951e
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The Onion (Website) / int_3dd3951e
 The Onion (Website) / int_3ea462d7
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Take That, Audience!
 The Onion (Website) / int_3ea462d7
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Take That, Audience!: Known to do this from time to time. "Fuck Everything, Nation Reports": "Let Me Explain Why Miley Cyrus Was Our Top Story This Morning"
 The Onion (Website) / int_3ea462d7
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The Onion (Website) / int_3ea462d7
 The Onion (Website) / int_3f1aadeb
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Strictly Formula
 The Onion (Website) / int_3f1aadeb
comment
Strictly Formula: All of Jim Anchower's articles pretty much follow the same formula — first he complains about his car, then mentions he lost whatever job he had for the intermittent time between articles.
 The Onion (Website) / int_3f1aadeb
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 The Onion (Website) / int_3f2f2dea
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Contractual Purity
 The Onion (Website) / int_3f2f2dea
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Contractual Purity: invoked "Entertainment Scientists Warn Miley Cyrus Will Be Depleted By 2013".
 The Onion (Website) / int_3f2f2dea
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 The Onion (Website) / int_3fe2b13f
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Ungrateful Bastard
 The Onion (Website) / int_3fe2b13f
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Ungrateful Bastard: "Mama Duck Doesn’t Recall Asking For Injured Baby To Be Rescued From Road"
 The Onion (Website) / int_3fe2b13f
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The Onion (Website) / int_3fe2b13f
 The Onion (Website) / int_4028c4e
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Off to See the Wizard
 The Onion (Website) / int_4028c4e
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Off to See the Wizard/It's a Wonderful Plot: "Sitcom Resorts To 'Wizard Of Oz'-Themed Fantasy Episode".
 The Onion (Website) / int_4028c4e
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The Onion (Website) / int_4028c4e
 The Onion (Website) / int_4059fbd2
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Naughty Under the Table
 The Onion (Website) / int_4059fbd2
comment
Naughty Under the Table: Briefly referenced in this video: "Space Under Boardroom Table A Complex Web Of Feet Massaging Various Genitals."
 The Onion (Website) / int_4059fbd2
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The Onion (Website) / int_4059fbd2
 The Onion (Website) / int_40bb59d0
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Blatant Lies
 The Onion (Website) / int_40bb59d0
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Blatant Lies: "Massive Flow Of Bullshit Continues To Gush From BP Headquarters".
 The Onion (Website) / int_40bb59d0
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The Onion (Website) / int_40bb59d0
 The Onion (Website) / int_4100c67e
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I Don't Want to Ruin Our Friendship
 The Onion (Website) / int_4100c67e
comment
I Don't Want to Ruin Our Friendship: "But If We Started Dating It Would Ruin Our Friendship Where I Ask You To Do Things And You Do Them".
 The Onion (Website) / int_4100c67e
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The Onion (Website) / int_4100c67e
 The Onion (Website) / int_41435fc2
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Pie in the Face
 The Onion (Website) / int_41435fc2
comment
Pie in the Face: "Study Finds Link Between Being Struck By Cream Pie, Diminished Social Standing".
 The Onion (Website) / int_41435fc2
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The Onion (Website) / int_41435fc2
 The Onion (Website) / int_41acc7e
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A Hell of a Time
 The Onion (Website) / int_41acc7e
comment
A Hell of a Time: "Hell Now A Thriving Epicenter Of Gay Culture".
 The Onion (Website) / int_41acc7e
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The Onion (Website) / int_41acc7e
 The Onion (Website) / int_42008602
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Story Arc
 The Onion (Website) / int_42008602
comment
Story Arc: In July 2009, T. Herman Zweibel sold the Onion to a Chinese salvage fishery, and the publication was quickly filled with pro-China propaganda and ads for fish byproducts. However, after a few days, the Chinese realized the collapse of the newspaper industry made their purchase worthless and gave the Onion back to its original management. This did not affect the AV Club, although they did let worried readers know that the company was indeed not sold to the Chinese. In June 2011, a week of articles blatantly touted The Onion as deserving a Pulitzer Prize, following a Zweibel editorial stating that he hated Pulitzer and decided it would be the best possible way to piss on his grave. A lobby group was formed, whose president turned out to be an embezzler. Several celebrities appeared in YouTube videos promoting the campaign.
 The Onion (Website) / int_42008602
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 The Onion (Website) / int_420c50b7
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A.I. Is a Crapshoot
 The Onion (Website) / int_420c50b7
comment
A.I. Is a Crapshoot: "Voting Machines Elect One Of Their Own As President". "Sweating Obama Admits Drone Strikes Have Been Happening On Their Own". The Fact Zone was made fully automated at one point, which allowed it to develop sapience and an obsessive crush on Brooke Alvarez.
 The Onion (Website) / int_420c50b7
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The Onion (Website) / int_420c50b7
 The Onion (Website) / int_438cb385
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Overprotective Dad
 The Onion (Website) / int_438cb385
comment
Overprotective Dad: "Underprotective Father Demands Daughter Arrive Home By 10 A.M."
 The Onion (Website) / int_438cb385
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The Onion (Website) / int_438cb385
 The Onion (Website) / int_43964f3
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Worst News Judgment Ever
 The Onion (Website) / int_43964f3
comment
Worst News Judgment Ever: Inverted, "No Jennifer Lopez News Today" "CNN Still Releasing News Piled Up During Elián González Saga" "The Weather Channel Accused of Pro-Weather Bias" "Media Having Trouble Finding Right Angle On Obama's Double-Homocide"
 The Onion (Website) / int_43964f3
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The Onion (Website) / int_43964f3
 The Onion (Website) / int_443b78cd
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Tranquil Fury
 The Onion (Website) / int_443b78cd
comment
Tranquil Fury: "Dad Way Scarier When Controlling Temper."
 The Onion (Website) / int_443b78cd
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The Onion (Website) / int_443b78cd
 The Onion (Website) / int_444154b8
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Nightmare Fuel Coloring Book
 The Onion (Website) / int_444154b8
comment
Nightmare Fuel Coloring Book: "Scientists Successfully Teach Gorilla It Will Die Someday". "21 Children's Letters to President Trump".
 The Onion (Website) / int_444154b8
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The Onion (Website) / int_444154b8
 The Onion (Website) / int_44606d14
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Becoming the Mask
 The Onion (Website) / int_44606d14
comment
Becoming the Mask: "Why Can't Anyone Tell I'm Wearing This Business Suit Ironically?"
 The Onion (Website) / int_44606d14
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The Onion (Website) / int_44606d14
 The Onion (Website) / int_453871ec
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What Could Have Been
 The Onion (Website) / int_453871ec
comment
What Could Have Been: In-Universe, "97-Year-Old Dies Unaware Of Being Violin Prodigy".
 The Onion (Website) / int_453871ec
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The Onion (Website) / int_453871ec
 The Onion (Website) / int_4548bae
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Teen Pregnancy
 The Onion (Website) / int_4548bae
comment
Teen Pregnancy: "Abused 12-Year-Old Alabama Girl Doesn't Think She Can Handle Being A Mom On Top Of Everything Else"
 The Onion (Website) / int_4548bae
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 The Onion (Website) / int_4548bae
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The Onion (Website) / int_4548bae
 The Onion (Website) / int_45ad2569
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Vagueness Is Coming
 The Onion (Website) / int_45ad2569
comment
Vagueness Is Coming: "Old, Wizened Fantasy Character Confirms That The Darkness Is Rising".
 The Onion (Website) / int_45ad2569
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The Onion (Website) / int_45ad2569
 The Onion (Website) / int_45cd286c
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Corrupt Politician
 The Onion (Website) / int_45cd286c
comment
Corrupt Politician: "City Of Chicago To Modernize Outdated Graft Programs" "Illinois Supreme Court Deems Rahm Emanuel Sleazy Enough To Run For Mayor Of Chicago"
 The Onion (Website) / int_45cd286c
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The Onion (Website) / int_45cd286c
 The Onion (Website) / int_460ffa29
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Transparent Closet
 The Onion (Website) / int_460ffa29
comment
Transparent Closet: "Band Teacher Gay In Retrospect"
 The Onion (Website) / int_460ffa29
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The Onion (Website) / int_460ffa29
 The Onion (Website) / int_46118dc5
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Adult Fear
 The Onion (Website) / int_46118dc5
comment
Adult Fear: "Every Parent's Worst Nightmare Is Losing A Child To Gorchul, The Dark Sorcerer Of Time"
 The Onion (Website) / int_46118dc5
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The Onion (Website) / int_46118dc5
 The Onion (Website) / int_46290b93
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Manic Pixie Dream Girl
 The Onion (Website) / int_46290b93
comment
Manic Pixie Dream Girl: Trope Namer.
 The Onion (Website) / int_46290b93
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The Onion (Website) / int_46290b93
 The Onion (Website) / int_4674f3b1
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Mischief-Making Monkey
 The Onion (Website) / int_4674f3b1
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Mischief-Making Monkey: Epstein Guards Placed On Disciplinary Leave For Allowing Selves To Be Distracted By Mischievous Monkey That Stole Key Ring
 The Onion (Website) / int_4674f3b1
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The Onion (Website) / int_4674f3b1
 The Onion (Website) / int_469e3e2f
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In-Universe
 The Onion (Website) / int_469e3e2f
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In-Universe, "Final Minutes Of Last Harry Potter Movie To Be Split Into Seven Separate Films"
 The Onion (Website) / int_469e3e2f
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The Onion (Website) / int_469e3e2f
 The Onion (Website) / int_479f9ad0
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Characterization Marches On
 The Onion (Website) / int_479f9ad0
comment
Characterization Marches On: Joe Biden's persona completely changed after he began his campaign for President in the 2020 election.
 The Onion (Website) / int_479f9ad0
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The Onion (Website) / int_479f9ad0
 The Onion (Website) / int_47b6a1e5
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"Just Joking" Justification
 The Onion (Website) / int_47b6a1e5
comment
"Just Joking" Justification: "Come On, Lighten Up, I'm Just Being A Total Asshole". "Bully Can’t Believe Classmate Took 4 Straight Years Of Being Told To Kill Herself Seriously"
 The Onion (Website) / int_47b6a1e5
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The Onion (Website) / int_47b6a1e5
 The Onion (Website) / int_47fea76b
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Butt-Monkey
 The Onion (Website) / int_47fea76b
comment
Butt-Monkey: There's a lot of articles that involve increasingly dreadful things happening to former U.S. President George W. Bush. Madison Daly and Tucker Hope are treated poorly by Brooke Alvarez.
 The Onion (Website) / int_47fea76b
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The Onion (Website) / int_47fea76b
 The Onion (Website) / int_4885c04b
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Road Trip Plot
 The Onion (Website) / int_4885c04b
comment
Road Trip Plot: Over the summer of 2017, Stan Kelly was stuck on one with his son, daughter-in-law, and grandchildren. He hated virtually all of it and, whether as a side-effect of his perpetual curmudgeonly attitude or due to other circumstances, it ended in his son's marriage collapsing and Stan fleeing early on a plane.
 The Onion (Website) / int_4885c04b
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The Onion (Website) / int_4885c04b
 The Onion (Website) / int_4930959c
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Bigger Than Jesus
 The Onion (Website) / int_4930959c
comment
Bigger Than Jesus: Published an apology in their corrections section after purportedly making such a remark, consequently revealing Inverted intentions:
 The Onion (Website) / int_4930959c
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The Onion (Website) / int_4930959c
 The Onion (Website) / int_49d59be9
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Scenery Porn
 The Onion (Website) / int_49d59be9
comment
Scenery Porn: "National Parks Closed For Annual Remajestification".
 The Onion (Website) / int_49d59be9
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The Onion (Website) / int_49d59be9
 The Onion (Website) / int_4a31937c
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Coy, Girlish Flirt Pose
 The Onion (Website) / int_4a31937c
comment
Coy, Girlish Flirt Pose: Exaggerated in "How To Get A Guy To Notice You While You're Having Sex With Him" (NSFW).
 The Onion (Website) / int_4a31937c
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The Onion (Website) / int_4a31937c
 The Onion (Website) / int_4acee1ed
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Fish out of Temporal Water
 The Onion (Website) / int_4acee1ed
comment
Fish out of Temporal Water: "Roman Centurion Crawling Out Of New York City Manhole In For One Wacky Adventure".
 The Onion (Website) / int_4acee1ed
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 The Onion (Website) / int_4ae72307
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Be Yourself
 The Onion (Website) / int_4ae72307
comment
Be Yourself: Deconstructed in "Local Man Ruins Date By Just Being Himself".
 The Onion (Website) / int_4ae72307
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The Onion (Website) / int_4ae72307
 The Onion (Website) / int_4b8932a4
type
Stalking Is Love
 The Onion (Website) / int_4b8932a4
comment
Stalking Is Love: "Romantic-Comedy Behavior Gets Real-Life Man Arrested".
 The Onion (Website) / int_4b8932a4
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_4b8932a4
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_4b8932a4
 The Onion (Website) / int_4c506837
type
The Snack Is More Interesting
 The Onion (Website) / int_4c506837
comment
The Snack Is More Interesting: "Snacks Distract Lawmakers From Horrors of War"
 The Onion (Website) / int_4c506837
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_4c506837
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_4c506837
 The Onion (Website) / int_4c554daf
type
President Evil
 The Onion (Website) / int_4c554daf
comment
President Evil: "Obama: Help Us Destroy Jesus And Start A New Age Of Liberal Darkness".
 The Onion (Website) / int_4c554daf
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_4c554daf
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_4c554daf
 The Onion (Website) / int_4c6205c5
type
New Technology Is Evil
 The Onion (Website) / int_4c6205c5
comment
New Technology is Evil: Kelly's cartoons often mock/demonize teenagers for using these, typically referring to the devices as "SOME GIZMO". Contrary to the intended message, it only makes Kelly himself look hopelessly behind the times (he's bemoaned the fall of VHS◊ in the past, and only embraced the DVD format when it began to concede to Blu-Ray).
 The Onion (Website) / int_4c6205c5
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_4c6205c5
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_4c6205c5
 The Onion (Website) / int_4c70bdae
type
Terrorists Without a Cause
 The Onion (Website) / int_4c70bdae
comment
Terrorists Without a Cause: "Conceptual Terrorists Encase Sears Tower In Jell-O"
 The Onion (Website) / int_4c70bdae
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_4c70bdae
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_4c70bdae
 The Onion (Website) / int_4c851777
type
Black Comedy Rape
 The Onion (Website) / int_4c851777
comment
Black Comedy Rape: "Black Bear Attacks, Rapes Zookeeper" is notable for being one of the few articles removed from the main site. A subversion, as the article's clownish treatment of the horrific subject matter was itself the joke. From Our Dumb Century, "January 30, 1969 - U.S. TROOPS PULL OUT OF VIETNAMESE PEASANT GIRL; 27th Infantry Division ordered to fully withdraw from Sia Nguyen, 14. 'That's enough for now, boys' says captain."
 The Onion (Website) / int_4c851777
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_4c851777
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_4c851777
 The Onion (Website) / int_4d1b485d
type
Dedication
 The Onion (Website) / int_4d1b485d
comment
The parody editorial cartoonist Stan Kelly displays traits of this frequently. In the book collection, he even dedicates it to himself for having the guts to "tell it like it is".
 The Onion (Website) / int_4d1b485d
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_4d1b485d
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_4d1b485d
 The Onion (Website) / int_4d422f71
type
Throw It In!
 The Onion (Website) / int_4d422f71
comment
Throw It In!: In-Universe, "Police Interruption Hastily Written Into Student Film".
 The Onion (Website) / int_4d422f71
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_4d422f71
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_4d422f71
 The Onion (Website) / int_4dbd3706
type
Clap Your Hands If You Believe
 The Onion (Website) / int_4dbd3706
comment
Clap Your Hands If You Believe: "Obama Warns He May Cease To Exist Unless America Believes In Him".
 The Onion (Website) / int_4dbd3706
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_4dbd3706
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_4dbd3706
 The Onion (Website) / int_4dc13d51
type
Grand Romantic Gesture
 The Onion (Website) / int_4dc13d51
comment
Grand Romantic Gesture: Romantic-Comedy Behavior Gets Real-Life Man Arrested
 The Onion (Website) / int_4dc13d51
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_4dc13d51
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_4dc13d51
 The Onion (Website) / int_4dc88e20
type
Stop Being Stereotypical
 The Onion (Website) / int_4dc88e20
comment
Stop Being Stereotypical: "Chinese Laundry Owner Blasted For Reinforcing Negative Ethnic Stereotypes". "American Muslims To Fort Hood Shooter: 'Thanks A Lot, Asshole'"
 The Onion (Website) / int_4dc88e20
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_4dc88e20
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_4dc88e20
 The Onion (Website) / int_4df919c9
type
Repressed Memories
 The Onion (Website) / int_4df919c9
comment
Repressed Memories: One of the Jean Teasdale articles from Finest News Reporting shows that she repressed a memory of being sexually abused by a bully while in Catholic school; it comes back when she's watching The Rosie O'Donnell Show because Rosie reminds her of the bully, and results in her throwing a Precious Moments figure at the TV (she misses).
 The Onion (Website) / int_4df919c9
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_4df919c9
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_4df919c9
 The Onion (Website) / int_4e1d9178
type
Tailor-Made Prison
 The Onion (Website) / int_4e1d9178
comment
Tailor-Made Prison: "Prisoners’ Rights Group Protests Treatment Of Supervillains In Nation’s Magnetic Detainment Cubes"
 The Onion (Website) / int_4e1d9178
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_4e1d9178
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_4e1d9178
 The Onion (Website) / int_4e3d253b
type
Downer Ending
 The Onion (Website) / int_4e3d253b
comment
Downer Ending: See Mood Whiplash examples below, as well as "World Now Down To 5 Stories That Are Inspirational", which followed on from the Real Life arrest of double-amputee Olympic runner Oscar Pistorius for murder. Even the article has a downer ending when the number is reduced to four (a father heroically battling cancer turned out to be having an affair with an underage girl).
 The Onion (Website) / int_4e3d253b
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_4e3d253b
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_4e3d253b
 The Onion (Website) / int_4e6e4dc7
type
The Coroner Doth Protest Too Much
 The Onion (Website) / int_4e6e4dc7
comment
The Coroner Doth Protest Too Much: "Naïve Detective Suspects Fair Play"
 The Onion (Website) / int_4e6e4dc7
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_4e6e4dc7
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_4e6e4dc7
 The Onion (Website) / int_4e70e128
type
Evil Stole My Faith
 The Onion (Website) / int_4e70e128
comment
Evil Stole My Faith: One article had a Straw Loser whose very existence was an affront to both the theory of evolution (what purpose can this guy possibly serve?!) and the existence of a kind and loving god (If we're made in God's image, well...), with each side parading him around as the ultimate argument against the other.
 The Onion (Website) / int_4e70e128
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_4e70e128
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_4e70e128
 The Onion (Website) / int_4e7c4536
type
Wham Line
 The Onion (Website) / int_4e7c4536
comment
Wham Line: The very last line of the aforementioned "Cult Divided On Whether To Let Women Become Telepathic-Vision Clerics" article. "This whole argument will be moot in six days when we board up the windows and burn ourselves alive." From the Onion's Trump Documents "leak", "Theseus Protocol Memos": "Car Ride Devoted To Explaining What Things Will Be Different About Grandma This Visit", has Wendy Gritton telling her children that their grandmother's health has been declining. It ends with "At press time, Gritton and her kids had finally arrived at their grandmother’s funeral."
 The Onion (Website) / int_4e7c4536
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_4e7c4536
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_4e7c4536
 The Onion (Website) / int_4f4602da
type
They Changed It, Now It Sucks!
 The Onion (Website) / int_4f4602da
comment
They Changed It, Now It Sucks!: In-Universe: "NHL Woos Fans By Increasing Scoring With Bigger Nets, 3-Point Line". Inverted with "Sun Chips Abandons Biodegradable Bag".
 The Onion (Website) / int_4f4602da
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_4f4602da
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_4f4602da
 The Onion (Website) / int_4f4bbeff
type
Interspecies Friendship
 The Onion (Website) / int_4f4bbeff
comment
Interspecies Friendship: "8 Unlikely Animal Friendships", a parody of one of the more common choices for clickbait articles.
 The Onion (Website) / int_4f4bbeff
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_4f4bbeff
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_4f4bbeff
 The Onion (Website) / int_4f7c3890
type
Shoddy Knockoff Product
 The Onion (Website) / int_4f7c3890
comment
Shoddy Knockoff Product: "Yellowstone National Park Concerned About Competing 'Yello-Stone Natural Park' Built Right Across Street"
 The Onion (Website) / int_4f7c3890
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_4f7c3890
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_4f7c3890
 The Onion (Website) / int_4fb23aa8
type
I Have This Friend...
 The Onion (Website) / int_4fb23aa8
comment
I Have This Friend...: "Bush Asks Advice For This Friend Of His Who Invaded Iraq". "Political Talk Show Host Suddenly Very Interested In Manslaughter Law Loopholes"
 The Onion (Website) / int_4fb23aa8
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_4fb23aa8
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_4fb23aa8
 The Onion (Website) / int_4fbc0887
type
Beneath the Mask
 The Onion (Website) / int_4fbc0887
comment
Beneath the Mask: Parodied. "Study: Average Person Becomes Unhinged Psychotic When Alone In Own House"
 The Onion (Website) / int_4fbc0887
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_4fbc0887
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_4fbc0887
 The Onion (Website) / int_5077c424
type
The Morlocks
 The Onion (Website) / int_5077c424
comment
The Morlocks: "Hundreds Of Blind, Pallid Disney Characters Discovered Living In Caves Deep Within Space Mountain"
 The Onion (Website) / int_5077c424
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_5077c424
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_5077c424
 The Onion (Website) / int_50b05d30
type
Disproportionate Retribution
 The Onion (Website) / int_50b05d30
comment
Disproportionate Retribution: "Little Boy Heroically Shoots, Mutilates Burglar".
 The Onion (Website) / int_50b05d30
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_50b05d30
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_50b05d30
 The Onion (Website) / int_5111ff0
type
Kill the Poor
 The Onion (Website) / int_5111ff0
comment
Kill the Poor: "RNC Builds Levee Out Of Poor People To Protect Convention Site" "Paul Ryan Slits Auto Mechanic’s Throat To Kick Off GOP Purge Of Working Class"
 The Onion (Website) / int_5111ff0
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_5111ff0
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_5111ff0
 The Onion (Website) / int_51300dbf
type
Fat Bastard
 The Onion (Website) / int_51300dbf
comment
Fat Bastard: Jeremiah Alden, the fattest man on the Mayflower and possible culprit of genetic obesity in America. Although his demeanor is noted as being "joyous and agreeable" by the other settlers, his laziness and great appetite meant that he tended to do nothing but sit around all day and eat all of the colony's supplies, which led to half of the Puritans starving to death that winter.
 The Onion (Website) / int_51300dbf
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_51300dbf
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_51300dbf
 The Onion (Website) / int_51561f43
type
Hurricane of Euphemisms
 The Onion (Website) / int_51561f43
comment
Hurricane of Euphemisms: "Renowned Hoo-Ha Doctor Wins Nobel Prize For Medical Advancements Down There"
 The Onion (Website) / int_51561f43
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_51561f43
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_51561f43
 The Onion (Website) / int_515eeccc
type
Sampling
 The Onion (Website) / int_515eeccc
comment
Sampling: "Nation's Rappers Down to Last Two Samples".
 The Onion (Website) / int_515eeccc
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_515eeccc
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_515eeccc
 The Onion (Website) / int_51df5ca1
type
Animal Metaphor
 The Onion (Website) / int_51df5ca1
comment
Animal Metaphor: An article has an entire family attempting to use the family dog as a metaphor for their relationship difficulties—The father for example saying that the dog feels confined and needs to run free, while the youngest child says the dog just wants some attention...
 The Onion (Website) / int_51df5ca1
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_51df5ca1
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_51df5ca1
 The Onion (Website) / int_51f336bf
type
Joggers Find Death
 The Onion (Website) / int_51f336bf
comment
Joggers Find Death: "Nation's Joggers Sick of Finding Dead Bodies".
 The Onion (Website) / int_51f336bf
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_51f336bf
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_51f336bf
 The Onion (Website) / int_5313c266
type
Book-Ends
 The Onion (Website) / int_5313c266
comment
Book-Ends: The Onion opened Barack Obama's presidency with Black Man Given Nation's Worst Job, and ended it with Black Man Out Of Work; both articles treat the presidency as just another undesirable, unpleasant job.
 The Onion (Website) / int_5313c266
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_5313c266
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_5313c266
 The Onion (Website) / int_533bc7ae
type
Cybernetics Eat Your Soul
 The Onion (Website) / int_533bc7ae
comment
Cybernetics Eat Your Soul: Though it ultimately failed, Google Glass was an important step toward establishing the evil cyber-villain archetype commonly used today.
 The Onion (Website) / int_533bc7ae
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_533bc7ae
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_533bc7ae
 The Onion (Website) / int_5345de5
type
Strange-Syntax Speaker
 The Onion (Website) / int_5345de5
comment
Strange-Syntax Speaker: "Rules Grammar Change"
 The Onion (Website) / int_5345de5
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_5345de5
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_5345de5
 The Onion (Website) / int_537ff9ea
type
Do They Know It's Christmas Time?
 The Onion (Website) / int_537ff9ea
comment
Do They Know It's Christmas Time?: "Important Christmas Lessons Already Forgotten".
 The Onion (Website) / int_537ff9ea
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_537ff9ea
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_537ff9ea
 The Onion (Website) / int_53830d
type
The Internet Is for Porn
 The Onion (Website) / int_53830d
comment
The Internet Is for Porn: "Naked Woman Picture Gains Popularity On Internet". (NSFW)
 The Onion (Website) / int_53830d
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_53830d
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_53830d
 The Onion (Website) / int_53d45fa8
type
Back-Alley Doctor
 The Onion (Website) / int_53d45fa8
comment
Back-Alley Doctor: Dr. Mario is deconstructed in "‘Dr. Mario’ Has Given Too Many People A Warped Idea Of The Medical Profession"
 The Onion (Website) / int_53d45fa8
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_53d45fa8
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_53d45fa8
 The Onion (Website) / int_53e1ce4e
type
Please Wake Up
 The Onion (Website) / int_53e1ce4e
comment
Please Wake Up: "Daddy Put In Bye-Bye Box".
 The Onion (Website) / int_53e1ce4e
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_53e1ce4e
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_53e1ce4e
 The Onion (Website) / int_544f60c2
type
BottledCool
 The Onion (Website) / int_544f60c2
comment
Bottled Cool: "Area Man Buying Not So Much A Soft Drink As An Image".
 The Onion (Website) / int_544f60c2
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_544f60c2
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_544f60c2
 The Onion (Website) / int_54cbd0cb
type
This Is Unforgivable!
 The Onion (Website) / int_54cbd0cb
comment
This Is Unforgivable!: "Worker Who Forgot Email Attachment Expects Coworkers To Forgive Her Just Like That"
 The Onion (Website) / int_54cbd0cb
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_54cbd0cb
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_54cbd0cb
 The Onion (Website) / int_5521ed05
type
No Animals Were Harmed
 The Onion (Website) / int_5521ed05
comment
No Animals Were Harmed: "Factory-Farm-To-Table Restaurant Proudly Serves Locally Tortured Animals"
 The Onion (Website) / int_5521ed05
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_5521ed05
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_5521ed05
 The Onion (Website) / int_5535bb82
type
Centipede's Dilemma
 The Onion (Website) / int_5535bb82
comment
Centipede's Dilemma: "Russell Westbrook Briefly Forgets How To Dribble After Thinking About It Too Hard".
 The Onion (Website) / int_5535bb82
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_5535bb82
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_5535bb82
 The Onion (Website) / int_555ff395
type
I Love Nuclear Power
 The Onion (Website) / int_555ff395
comment
I Love Nuclear Power: "We Must Expand Our Nuclear Power Program If We're To Realize Our Dream Of Superhero Mutants". Parodied by Our Dumb Century; one of the 1963 articles is about a 17-year-old boy named Peter Parker who dies from leukemia caused by a radioactive spider bite. The article goes on to mention other radiation-induced deaths that month, including the four-man crew of an experimental rocket and a scientist bombarded with gamma rays from the bomb he was testing.
 The Onion (Website) / int_555ff395
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_555ff395
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_555ff395
 The Onion (Website) / int_55fa41e2
type
NietzscheWannabe
 The Onion (Website) / int_55fa41e2
comment
Nietzsche Wannabe: "Pre-Game Coin Toss Makes Jaguars Realize Randomness Of Life". "Existentialist Firefighter Delays 3 Deaths".
 The Onion (Website) / int_55fa41e2
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_55fa41e2
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_55fa41e2
 The Onion (Website) / int_56b53152
type
Green Aesop
 The Onion (Website) / int_56b53152
comment
Green Aesop: "Entertainment Scientists Warn Miley Cyrus Will Be Depleted By 2013".
 The Onion (Website) / int_56b53152
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_56b53152
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_56b53152
 The Onion (Website) / int_571bfe2
type
Super Serum
 The Onion (Website) / int_571bfe2
comment
Super Serum: "Clinton Injected With Highly-Unstable Experimental Growth Serum".
 The Onion (Website) / int_571bfe2
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_571bfe2
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_571bfe2
 The Onion (Website) / int_572249f0
type
Straight Edge Evil
 The Onion (Website) / int_572249f0
comment
Straight Edge Evil: Subverted in "Our Dumb Century," in an article in which mobsters support Prohibition... because they'd profit from illegal alcohol sales.
 The Onion (Website) / int_572249f0
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 The Onion (Website) / int_572249f0
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_572249f0
 The Onion (Website) / int_57a937f1
type
Heävy Mëtal Ümlaut
 The Onion (Website) / int_57a937f1
comment
Heävy Mëtal Ümlaut: "Ünited Stätes Toughens Image with Umlauts".
 The Onion (Website) / int_57a937f1
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_57a937f1
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_57a937f1
 The Onion (Website) / int_581f6468
type
Hero of Another Story
 The Onion (Website) / int_581f6468
comment
Hero of Another Story: During his term as Secretary of State, articles involving John Kerry had him portrayed as though he was the protagonist of an action movie, and picked up right as the action started happening. The Supreme Court being semi-superheroes.
 The Onion (Website) / int_581f6468
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The Onion (Website) / int_581f6468
 The Onion (Website) / int_5859124f
type
Gruesome Goat
 The Onion (Website) / int_5859124f
comment
Gruesome Goat: In an article reporting on the U.S. Department of Evil's decision that all must die, the Department's Dread Secretary of Evil Hammond S. Reynolds is depicted as a humanoid with the head of a red-eyed goat.
 The Onion (Website) / int_5859124f
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1.0
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_5859124f
 The Onion (Website) / int_5874eb12
type
Organic Technology
 The Onion (Website) / int_5874eb12
comment
Organic Technology: "Guatemalan Flight's Data-Recording Parrot May Hold Clues To The Crash". "Interim Apple Chief Under Fire After Unveiling Grotesque New MacBook".
 The Onion (Website) / int_5874eb12
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_5874eb12
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_5874eb12
 The Onion (Website) / int_5a33cf5
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Future Loser
 The Onion (Website) / int_5a33cf5
comment
Future Loser: "Entertainment Scientists Warn Miley Cyrus Will Be Depleted By 2013"
 The Onion (Website) / int_5a33cf5
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_5a33cf5
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_5a33cf5
 The Onion (Website) / int_5a59b3a1
type
Hulk Speak
 The Onion (Website) / int_5a59b3a1
comment
Hulk Speak: "Why No One Want Make Hulk 2?"
 The Onion (Website) / int_5a59b3a1
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_5a59b3a1
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_5a59b3a1
 The Onion (Website) / int_5a90dc9e
type
Stealth Cigarette Commercial
 The Onion (Website) / int_5a90dc9e
comment
Stealth Cigarette Commercial: "Philip Morris: 'Please Talk to Your Cooler Children About Cigarettes'".
 The Onion (Website) / int_5a90dc9e
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_5a90dc9e
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_5a90dc9e
 The Onion (Website) / int_5abe5b74
type
Everybody Must Get Stoned
 The Onion (Website) / int_5abe5b74
comment
Everybody Must Get Stoned: "World's Top Scientists Ponder: What If The Whole Universe Is, Like, One Huge Atom?" "Everyone Involved In Pizza's Preparation, Delivery, Purchase Extremely High".
 The Onion (Website) / int_5abe5b74
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_5abe5b74
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_5abe5b74
 The Onion (Website) / int_5ad80bf8
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It's All My Fault
 The Onion (Website) / int_5ad80bf8
comment
It's All My Fault: "Soaring U.S. Divorce Rate Blamed On Local 11-Year-Old"
 The Onion (Website) / int_5ad80bf8
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_5ad80bf8
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_5ad80bf8
 The Onion (Website) / int_5b19cc1b
type
Air-Vent Passageway
 The Onion (Website) / int_5b19cc1b
comment
Air-Vent Passageway: "Clinton Escapes Through Air Vent". "Report: 1 In 5 Air Ducts Contains Person Looking, Listening In On You"
 The Onion (Website) / int_5b19cc1b
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_5b19cc1b
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_5b19cc1b
 The Onion (Website) / int_5be7bd04
type
Raised by Wolves
 The Onion (Website) / int_5be7bd04
comment
Raised by Wolves: Parodied in the Onion News Network video "Girl Raised From Birth By Wolf Blitzer Taken Into Protective Custody".
 The Onion (Website) / int_5be7bd04
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_5be7bd04
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_5be7bd04
 The Onion (Website) / int_5dff009d
type
As Long as There is Evil
 The Onion (Website) / int_5dff009d
comment
As Long as There is Evil: "Osama Bin Laden Found Inside Each of Us".
 The Onion (Website) / int_5dff009d
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_5dff009d
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_5dff009d
 The Onion (Website) / int_5e2e55e4
type
The Casanova
 The Onion (Website) / int_5e2e55e4
comment
The Casanova: Recurring columnist Smoove B is basically a sexy R&B song personified. His columns detail the art of seduction and his various sexual encounters past and planned. "7 Million People Direct Descendants Of Single Smooth-Talking Ancestor".
 The Onion (Website) / int_5e2e55e4
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_5e2e55e4
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_5e2e55e4
 The Onion (Website) / int_5f5aa5af
type
Bulungi
 The Onion (Website) / int_5f5aa5af
comment
Bulungi: The Trope Namer on fictitious African countries originated in this article.
 The Onion (Website) / int_5f5aa5af
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_5f5aa5af
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_5f5aa5af
 The Onion (Website) / int_5fcedca
type
Big Eater
 The Onion (Website) / int_5fcedca
comment
Big Eater: "USDA Recalls 96,000 Pounds Of Tainted Beef From One Family" "Horrified Subway Execs Assumed People Were Buying Footlongs To Share With A Friend" "Dozens Dead In Chicago-Area Meatwave"
 The Onion (Website) / int_5fcedca
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_5fcedca
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_5fcedca
 The Onion (Website) / int_5fdf73bc
type
Photographic Memory
 The Onion (Website) / int_5fdf73bc
comment
Photographic Memory: "Area Man Can Remember Exactly Where He Was, What He Was Doing When He Assassinated John F. Kennedy"
 The Onion (Website) / int_5fdf73bc
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_5fdf73bc
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_5fdf73bc
 The Onion (Website) / int_5ff56a1f
type
Long List
 The Onion (Website) / int_5ff56a1f
comment
Long List: The list of people not to be at the end of "Tips For Not Condemning Millions Of Americans To Sickness And Death".
 The Onion (Website) / int_5ff56a1f
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_5ff56a1f
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_5ff56a1f
 The Onion (Website) / int_60414102
type
Zombie Apocalypse
 The Onion (Website) / int_60414102
comment
Zombie Apocalypse: "Study Reveals Pittsburgh Unprepared For Full-Scale Zombie Attack". "Low Voter Turnout Blamed On Election-Day Zombie Attacks".
 The Onion (Website) / int_60414102
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_60414102
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_60414102
 The Onion (Website) / int_6041e4f4
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The Computer Is a Cheating Bastard
 The Onion (Website) / int_6041e4f4
comment
The Computer Is a Cheating Bastard: "Hawaii Wins Little League World Series".
 The Onion (Website) / int_6041e4f4
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_6041e4f4
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_6041e4f4
 The Onion (Website) / int_6136e02f
type
Brain Food
 The Onion (Website) / int_6136e02f
comment
Brain Food: "Zombie Nutritionist Recommends All-Brain Diet".
 The Onion (Website) / int_6136e02f
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_6136e02f
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_6136e02f
 The Onion (Website) / int_615a96fb
type
Immoral Reality Show
 The Onion (Website) / int_615a96fb
comment
Immoral Reality Show: Sex House, of course.
 The Onion (Website) / int_615a96fb
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_615a96fb
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_615a96fb
 The Onion (Website) / int_615cad18
type
Outdoor Bath Peeping
 The Onion (Website) / int_615cad18
comment
Outdoor Bath Peeping: "Relationship Experts Recommend Single Women Try Bathing In Open Stream Until Suitor Glimpses Them Through Trees".
 The Onion (Website) / int_615cad18
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_615cad18
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1.0
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hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_615cad18
 The Onion (Website) / int_617f0563
type
Heel–Face Turn
 The Onion (Website) / int_617f0563
comment
Heel–Face Turn: "Formerly Evil Wrestler Realizes the Error of His Ways".
 The Onion (Website) / int_617f0563
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_617f0563
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_617f0563
 The Onion (Website) / int_61c60bbb
type
No Product Safety Standards
 The Onion (Website) / int_61c60bbb
comment
No Product Safety Standards: has a few parodies of this, such as one video where a munitions manufacturer apologized for hollow-point rounds not exploding properly with animations showing the problem.
 The Onion (Website) / int_61c60bbb
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_61c60bbb
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_61c60bbb
 The Onion (Website) / int_62434fe2
type
Sanity Slippage
 The Onion (Website) / int_62434fe2
comment
Sanity Slippage: Happens to Jim Haggerty in Porkin' Across America and the Sex House contestants as each series progresses.
 The Onion (Website) / int_62434fe2
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_62434fe2
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_62434fe2
 The Onion (Website) / int_62a2d3d7
type
Sequelitis
 The Onion (Website) / int_62a2d3d7
comment
Sequelitis: In-Universe, "Vindictive Movie Studio Threatens To Make 'Coyote Ugly' Sequel". In-Universe, "Final Minutes Of Last Harry Potter Movie To Be Split Into Seven Separate Films"
 The Onion (Website) / int_62a2d3d7
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_62a2d3d7
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_62a2d3d7
 The Onion (Website) / int_6331ba26
type
Plot Hole
 The Onion (Website) / int_6331ba26
comment
Plot Hole: "Hollywood Maintenance Crews Sent Out To Patch Up Film Industry’s Plotholes".
 The Onion (Website) / int_6331ba26
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_6331ba26
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_6331ba26
 The Onion (Website) / int_64713b04
type
Pedophile Priest
 The Onion (Website) / int_64713b04
comment
Pedophile Priest: "Biblical Scholars Find Evidence Church Covered Up For 3 Wise Men Who Molested Baby Jesus" "U.K. Cardinal Resigns In Wake Of—Get This—Sex Abuse Allegations"
 The Onion (Website) / int_64713b04
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_64713b04
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_64713b04
 The Onion (Website) / int_64d3ffd8
type
The Extremist Was Right
 The Onion (Website) / int_64d3ffd8
comment
The Extremist Was Right: Some article, such as "Harry Potter Books Spark Rise In Satanism Among Children", essentially portray some paranoid conspiracy theorists as being right.
 The Onion (Website) / int_64d3ffd8
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_64d3ffd8
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_64d3ffd8
 The Onion (Website) / int_652c32fa
type
Super-Deformed
 The Onion (Website) / int_652c32fa
comment
Super-Deformed: "Bratz Dolls May Give Young Girls Unrealistic Expectations Of Head Size" explores the ramifications of even the mild form (4 heads) seen in Bratz dolls.
 The Onion (Website) / int_652c32fa
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_652c32fa
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_652c32fa
 The Onion (Website) / int_657f77e4
type
Caught with Your Pants Down
 The Onion (Website) / int_657f77e4
comment
Caught with Your Pants Down: "Local Teen Walks In On Family Masturbating" "New Robot Warns When Someone's About To Walk In On You Masturbating"
 The Onion (Website) / int_657f77e4
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_657f77e4
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_657f77e4
 The Onion (Website) / int_661a66d8
type
Animal Wrongs Group
 The Onion (Website) / int_661a66d8
comment
Animal Wrongs Group: "Heroic PETA Commandos Kill 49, Save Rabbit". To make matters worse, said rabbit gets eaten almost immediately after they free it. "Advocacy Group Decries PETA's Inhumane Treatment Of Women"
 The Onion (Website) / int_661a66d8
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_661a66d8
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_661a66d8
 The Onion (Website) / int_6627e429
type
Children Are a Waste
 The Onion (Website) / int_6627e429
comment
Children Are a Waste: "Department Of Education Study Finds Teaching These Little Shits No Longer Worth It".
 The Onion (Website) / int_6627e429
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_6627e429
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_6627e429
 The Onion (Website) / int_665d24fb
type
Did You Die?
 The Onion (Website) / int_665d24fb
comment
Did You Die?: "Candidate May Have Lied About Heroic Death In Vietnam".
 The Onion (Website) / int_665d24fb
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_665d24fb
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_665d24fb
 The Onion (Website) / int_66805a18
type
Race for Your Love
 The Onion (Website) / int_66805a18
comment
Race for Your Love: Man Running Toward Departing Train Must Have Finally Realized He Loves Her
 The Onion (Website) / int_66805a18
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_66805a18
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_66805a18
 The Onion (Website) / int_66ea7e5c
type
Brought Down to Normal
 The Onion (Website) / int_66ea7e5c
comment
Brought Down to Normal: "God Loses Pouch Filled With Crystals That Give Him Powers"
 The Onion (Website) / int_66ea7e5c
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_66ea7e5c
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_66ea7e5c
 The Onion (Website) / int_68a5e1c3
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Humans Are Psychic in the Future
 The Onion (Website) / int_68a5e1c3
comment
Humans Are Psychic in the Future: "Report: World's Lone Non-Telepathic Individual Still Completely Unaware".
 The Onion (Website) / int_68a5e1c3
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_68a5e1c3
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_68a5e1c3
 The Onion (Website) / int_68da6712
type
Canon Welding
 The Onion (Website) / int_68da6712
comment
Canon Welding: "Disney Reveals That Every Disney Movie Takes Place In Single, Unified Universe".
 The Onion (Website) / int_68da6712
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_68da6712
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_68da6712
 The Onion (Website) / int_6941e30b
type
Room Full of Crazy
 The Onion (Website) / int_6941e30b
comment
Room Full of Crazy: "Melania Trump Stumbles Upon Dozens Of Husband’s Haunting, Macabre Self-Portraits".
 The Onion (Website) / int_6941e30b
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_6941e30b
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_6941e30b
 The Onion (Website) / int_6a0297a8
type
What Do You Mean Its Not Didactic
 The Onion (Website) / int_6a0297a8
comment
What Do You Mean Its Not Didactic: In-Universe "I Appreciate The Muppets On A Much Deeper Level Than You". "Freshman Term Paper Discovers Something Totally New About 'Silas Marner'". "Grad Student Deconstructs Take-Out Menu". Real Life example: An article was used for the 2005 English Language and Composition Advanced Placement exam...meaning that there was actually something to analyze in that article.
 The Onion (Website) / int_6a0297a8
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_6a0297a8
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_6a0297a8
 The Onion (Website) / int_6a42ef
type
Cynicism Catalyst
 The Onion (Website) / int_6a42ef
comment
Cynicism Catalyst: "Child Development Experts Say Boys Not Fully Mature Until Avenging Father’s Murder".
 The Onion (Website) / int_6a42ef
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_6a42ef
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_6a42ef
 The Onion (Website) / int_6aaf4011
type
Apathetic Student
 The Onion (Website) / int_6aaf4011
comment
Apathetic Student: Played for laughs in "Patriotic Teen Fails Spanish", wherein a lazy student manages to rouse public support when he flunks his Spanish class so he can smoke cigarettes, which is misinterpreted by the right-wing lobby as a grand patriotic protest. The kid really is just obnoxious and stupid.
 The Onion (Website) / int_6aaf4011
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_6aaf4011
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_6aaf4011
 The Onion (Website) / int_6adc1249
type
8.8
 The Onion (Website) / int_6adc1249
comment
8.8: In-Universe: "Pitchfork Gives Music 6.8".
 The Onion (Website) / int_6adc1249
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_6adc1249
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_6adc1249
 The Onion (Website) / int_6b05b601
type
Jerkass Has a Point
 The Onion (Website) / int_6b05b601
comment
Jerkass Has a Point: Jean Teasdale's husband Rick may be a hard-drinking jerk, but he's also Closer to Earth than Jean (which isn't difficult, to be honest), he gets upset with her for squandering their money on things like Precious Moments figures when they're trying to get out of debt.
 The Onion (Website) / int_6b05b601
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_6b05b601
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_6b05b601
 The Onion (Website) / int_6b35bdff
type
Serious Business
 The Onion (Website) / int_6b35bdff
comment
Serious Business: "Modern-Day Martin Luther Nails 95 Comment Cards To IHOP Door". Anything by ubergeek Larry Groznic, whose specialty is asserting to those less enlightened than himself that he is Nerdier Than Thou. Example: "When You Are Ready To Have A Serious Conversation About Green Lantern, You Have My E-Mail Address". "General Mills' 'Star Wars: Episode II' Cereal Gets It All Wrong". "Americans Bravely Go To Polls Despite Threat Of Electing Congress". "I Shall Scramble Two With Bacon When The Muse Moves Me". "Helvetica Bold Oblique Sweeps Fontys" "What Foolhardy Mortal Thinks He Can Shelve Faster Than I?" "Juicer Infomercial Sweeps Early Morning Emmys". In many other stories, the event itself is entirely plausible; the joke is simply that anyone would consider it newsworthy: "Whaler Sandwich 'Not Sitting Too Good' with Area Man". "Nation Struggles To Understand Why Area Pie Didn't Come Out Right". "Honey, I'm Not Going To Stand Here And Debate The Merits Of The First Two B-52's LPs In Front Of The Whole Supermarket".
 The Onion (Website) / int_6b35bdff
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_6b35bdff
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_6b35bdff
 The Onion (Website) / int_6b723294
type
Techno Babble
 The Onion (Website) / int_6b723294
comment
Techno Babble: "Raving Lunatic Obviously Took Some Advanced Physics". "Sci-fi Writer Attributes Everything Mysterious To 'Quantum Flux'".
 The Onion (Website) / int_6b723294
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_6b723294
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_6b723294
 The Onion (Website) / int_6b8c8d72
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Our Slogan Is Terrible
 The Onion (Website) / int_6b8c8d72
comment
Our Slogan Is Terrible: "New 'Small 'n' Flaccid' Ad Campaign Least Successful Ever".
 The Onion (Website) / int_6b8c8d72
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_6b8c8d72
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_6b8c8d72
 The Onion (Website) / int_6b983bf7
type
Unstoppable Rage
 The Onion (Website) / int_6b983bf7
comment
Unstoppable Rage: "Twelve Customers Gunned Down In Convenience-Store Clerk's Imagination".
 The Onion (Website) / int_6b983bf7
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_6b983bf7
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_6b983bf7
 The Onion (Website) / int_6bedf674
type
Name's the Same
 The Onion (Website) / int_6bedf674
comment
invokedAccording to Our Dumb World, every single African country has at least one resident named Mtumbe Ngoube.
 The Onion (Website) / int_6bedf674
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_6bedf674
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_6bedf674
 The Onion (Website) / int_6bfc52a3
type
A Wizard Did It
 The Onion (Website) / int_6bfc52a3
comment
A Wizard Did It: "Sci-fi Writer Attributes Everything Mysterious To 'Quantum Flux'".
 The Onion (Website) / int_6bfc52a3
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_6bfc52a3
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_6bfc52a3
 The Onion (Website) / int_6c62b1a8
type
Covered in Gunge
 The Onion (Website) / int_6c62b1a8
comment
Covered in Gunge: "Ex-Nickelodeon Stars Relate Horrors Of Green Slime Syndrome".
 The Onion (Website) / int_6c62b1a8
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_6c62b1a8
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_6c62b1a8
 The Onion (Website) / int_6c81c95
type
TrueArtIsIncomprehensible
 The Onion (Website) / int_6c81c95
comment
True Art Is Incomprehensible: In-Universe: "Obama's Weekly Video Addresses Becoming Increasingly Avant-Garde".
 The Onion (Website) / int_6c81c95
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_6c81c95
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_6c81c95
 The Onion (Website) / int_6cdc784f
type
You No Take Candle
 The Onion (Website) / int_6cdc784f
comment
You No Take Candle "Fire Hot" "Republicans Reach Out To Women With New 'No Punch Pretty Lady' Bill" "This What World Like Now"
 The Onion (Website) / int_6cdc784f
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_6cdc784f
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_6cdc784f
 The Onion (Website) / int_6d332aea
type
Driven to Suicide
 The Onion (Website) / int_6d332aea
comment
Driven to Suicide: "Bully Can't Believe Classmate Took 4 Years Of Being Told To Kill Herself Seriously", and "Gay Conversion Therapists Claim Most Patients Fully Straight By The Time They Commit Suicide ".
 The Onion (Website) / int_6d332aea
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_6d332aea
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_6d332aea
 The Onion (Website) / int_6d603017
type
Ink Stain Adaptation
 The Onion (Website) / int_6d603017
comment
Ink-Stain Adaptation: "Jason Momoa Reveals He Spent Months Becoming Useless Dumbass To Get Into Character For ‘Aquaman’"
 The Onion (Website) / int_6d603017
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_6d603017
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_6d603017
 The Onion (Website) / int_6db06839
type
The Stoner
 The Onion (Website) / int_6db06839
comment
The Stoner: Jim Anchower.
 The Onion (Website) / int_6db06839
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_6db06839
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_6db06839
 The Onion (Website) / int_6dc206c9
type
Marathon Level
 The Onion (Website) / int_6dc206c9
comment
Marathon Level: "NASCAR Considers Single 21,500 Mile Race For 2011 Season"
 The Onion (Website) / int_6dc206c9
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_6dc206c9
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_6dc206c9
 The Onion (Website) / int_6dc84b96
type
The Tetris Effect
 The Onion (Website) / int_6dc84b96
comment
The Tetris Effect: "Area CEO Likes To Think Of Family As Small, Close-Knit Business"
 The Onion (Website) / int_6dc84b96
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_6dc84b96
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_6dc84b96
 The Onion (Website) / int_6e37c196
type
Once Done, Never Forgotten
 The Onion (Website) / int_6e37c196
comment
Once Done, Never Forgotten "Everyone Still Remembers Time You Threw Up In 5th Grade". "Man Who Shit Pants In Grade School Awarded Purple Heart". "Man Who Got Shit Together 5 Years Ago Still Viewed As Lovable Fuckup By Friends, Family". "All Of Man's Accomplishments Overshadowed By Hefty Birth Weight".
 The Onion (Website) / int_6e37c196
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_6e37c196
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_6e37c196
 The Onion (Website) / int_6ee10e0
type
My Greatest Failure
 The Onion (Website) / int_6ee10e0
comment
My Greatest Failure: "Mall Justice Is Swift And Harsh".
 The Onion (Website) / int_6ee10e0
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_6ee10e0
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_6ee10e0
 The Onion (Website) / int_6fba77ef
type
Moon-Landing Hoax
 The Onion (Website) / int_6fba77ef
comment
Moon-Landing Hoax: "Conspiracy Theorist Convinces Neil Armstrong Moon Landing Was Faked" Ironically, the story was reprinted by two Bangladesh newspapersnote The Daily Manab Zami and New Nation as real news.
 The Onion (Website) / int_6fba77ef
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_6fba77ef
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_6fba77ef
 The Onion (Website) / int_6fc192ef
type
Jerkass Woobie
 The Onion (Website) / int_6fc192ef
comment
Jerkass Woobie: In-Universe, "Teen With Cancer Vows It Won't Keep Her From Being Mean, Moody Little Shit".
 The Onion (Website) / int_6fc192ef
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_6fc192ef
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_6fc192ef
 The Onion (Website) / int_701c2f6
type
Love Hotels
 The Onion (Website) / int_701c2f6
comment
Love Hotels: "Longtime Married Couple Subjected To Excruciating 'Romantic Weekend Getaway'".
 The Onion (Website) / int_701c2f6
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_701c2f6
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_701c2f6
 The Onion (Website) / int_7040b6bc
type
Understatement
 The Onion (Website) / int_7040b6bc
comment
Understatement: "Tensions Mount After North Korea Destroys All Of Asia".
 The Onion (Website) / int_7040b6bc
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_7040b6bc
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_7040b6bc
 The Onion (Website) / int_704796f9
type
Age-Inappropriate Art
 The Onion (Website) / int_704796f9
comment
Age-Inappropriate Art: "Second-Graders Wow Audience With School Production Of Equus".
 The Onion (Website) / int_704796f9
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_704796f9
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_704796f9
 The Onion (Website) / int_711e9c91
type
Network Decay
 The Onion (Website) / int_711e9c91
comment
Network Decay: In-Universe, "Learning Channel Switches to All-Gilligan Format".
 The Onion (Website) / int_711e9c91
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_711e9c91
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_711e9c91
 The Onion (Website) / int_7142b38a
type
The Grim Reaper
 The Onion (Website) / int_7142b38a
comment
The Grim Reaper: Frequently appears in the cartoons.
 The Onion (Website) / int_7142b38a
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_7142b38a
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_7142b38a
 The Onion (Website) / int_71642c70
type
Viewers Are Goldfish
 The Onion (Website) / int_71642c70
comment
Viewers Are Goldfish: "FCC: All Programming To Be Broadcast In ADHDTV By 2007".
 The Onion (Website) / int_71642c70
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_71642c70
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_71642c70
 The Onion (Website) / int_71e8a5c5
type
Trauma Conga Line
 The Onion (Website) / int_71e8a5c5
comment
Trauma Conga Line: Jim Haggerty in the Porkin' Across America series is subjected to this along with a decent amount of Body Horror and Sanity Slippage. Besides losing his dog, car, house and the love of his entire family throughout the progress of the show, his continually building injuries force him to have to replace parts of his body with pig innards. By the final episode he's so become so disparaged and mutilated that he embraces becoming a pig and goes to live on a farm with the rest of his kind, even disregarding an opportunity to retake his hosting position on Today Now! and an awards show in favor his new "family."
 The Onion (Website) / int_71e8a5c5
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_71e8a5c5
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_71e8a5c5
 The Onion (Website) / int_722a6ef4
type
Game Show
 The Onion (Website) / int_722a6ef4
comment
Game Show Jeopardy!: "Alex Trebek Deftly Prolongs Agonizing Small Talk" "Ken Jennings Mistaken For Subway's Jared Again" "'Jeopardy!' Viewer Had No Idea He Knew So Much About Weasels". The Price Is Right: "'Price Is Right' Demands Pullout Of U.S. Forces" "What Am I Going To Do With All These Dog Uteruses?" Wheel of Fortune: "Desperate 'Wheel Of Fortune' Receives Approval To Use Swear Words" "'Wheel Of Fortune' Contestants Hit Hard As Vowel Prices Skyrocket".
 The Onion (Website) / int_722a6ef4
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_722a6ef4
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_722a6ef4
 The Onion (Website) / int_723be11b
type
Villain Has a Point
 The Onion (Website) / int_723be11b
comment
Villain Has a Point: "U.S. Authorities Can't Really Fault Al-Qaeda For Deadly Bombing Of Carnival Cruise Ship" "Hostage Negotiator Has To Admit Terrorist Has Good Point"
 The Onion (Website) / int_723be11b
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_723be11b
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_723be11b
 The Onion (Website) / int_7241785e
type
You Can't Fight Fate
 The Onion (Website) / int_7241785e
comment
You Can't Fight Fate: Most of the horoscope entries, although this list's Scorpio is probably the most blunt example. Inverted in this list's Pisces.
 The Onion (Website) / int_7241785e
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_7241785e
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_7241785e
 The Onion (Website) / int_72852a93
type
Henpecked Husband
 The Onion (Website) / int_72852a93
comment
Henpecked Husband: "Empowered Man Murders Controlling Wife In Lifetime For Men Original Movie"
 The Onion (Website) / int_72852a93
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_72852a93
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_72852a93
 The Onion (Website) / int_72856b70
type
Godzilla Threshold
 The Onion (Website) / int_72856b70
comment
Godzilla Threshold: Last Ditch Climate Change Plan Provides Locations of Weapons, Current Whereabouts of Oil Executives.
 The Onion (Website) / int_72856b70
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_72856b70
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_72856b70
 The Onion (Website) / int_734a416a
type
Dinner Order Flub
 The Onion (Website) / int_734a416a
comment
Dinner Order Flub: In Our Dumb World's entry on Burkina Faso, there's a joke about the very low literacy rate of that country when one of their diplomats tries to order a notice that an extra gratuity may be charged for large groups.
 The Onion (Website) / int_734a416a
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_734a416a
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_734a416a
 The Onion (Website) / int_73733868
type
Awesomeness by Analysis
 The Onion (Website) / int_73733868
comment
Awesomeness by Analysis: Inverted with "It Doesn't Look That Cold Out, Reports Man Who Doesn't Have Thermo-Sensing Eyes".
 The Onion (Website) / int_73733868
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_73733868
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_73733868
 The Onion (Website) / int_73f79f91
type
Released to Elsewhere
 The Onion (Website) / int_73f79f91
comment
Released to Elsewhere: "We Gave Rex To A Nice Farm Family vs. They Had Me Put To Sleep At The Vet". "Packers Tell Fans They Gave Favre to a Nice Farm Family". Subversion: "Fire Consumes Big Happy Farm Where Families Send Sick Dogs To Run Free And Play"
 The Onion (Website) / int_73f79f91
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_73f79f91
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_73f79f91
 The Onion (Website) / int_74149c93
type
Epic Rocking
 The Onion (Website) / int_74149c93
comment
Epic Rocking: "Carrie Underwood Releases Complex, Multi-Part Prog Rock Inspired "Sunday Night Football" Theme Song."
 The Onion (Website) / int_74149c93
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_74149c93
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_74149c93
 The Onion (Website) / int_7426582d
type
Token Minority
 The Onion (Website) / int_7426582d
comment
Token Minority: "Black Guy Photoshopped In". As 11points demonstrates, this is Truth in Television.
 The Onion (Website) / int_7426582d
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_7426582d
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_7426582d
 The Onion (Website) / int_743d2893
type
The Woobie
 The Onion (Website) / int_743d2893
comment
The Woobie: In-Universe, "Awkward New International Student Saw His Entire Family Murdered In The Congo"
 The Onion (Website) / int_743d2893
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_743d2893
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_743d2893
 The Onion (Website) / int_74b85afd
type
If You're So Evil, Eat This Kitten
 The Onion (Website) / int_74b85afd
comment
If You're So Evil, Eat This Kitten: Inverted in a report on new financial regulations, among them requiring stock traders to pass a "Kitten and Hammer Ethics Test".
 The Onion (Website) / int_74b85afd
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_74b85afd
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_74b85afd
 The Onion (Website) / int_74c1b6f4
type
Flyover Country
 The Onion (Website) / int_74c1b6f4
comment
Flyover Country: "Indianapolis Announces Really Embarrassing Bid For 2020 Summer Olympics".
 The Onion (Website) / int_74c1b6f4
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_74c1b6f4
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_74c1b6f4
 The Onion (Website) / int_74c3078d
type
TheRashomon
 The Onion (Website) / int_74c3078d
comment
The Rashomon: Point/Counterpoint, particularly "European Men Are So Much More Romantic Than American Men vs. American Women Studying In Europe Are Unbelievably Easy".
 The Onion (Website) / int_74c3078d
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_74c3078d
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_74c3078d
 The Onion (Website) / int_750146b4
type
Lethal Diagnosis
 The Onion (Website) / int_750146b4
comment
Lethal Diagnosis: "Lackluster Marriage Enlivened By Cancer Scare".
 The Onion (Website) / int_750146b4
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_750146b4
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_750146b4
 The Onion (Website) / int_75196a1d
type
Translation by Volume
 The Onion (Website) / int_75196a1d
comment
Translation by Volume: This article on traveling abroad advises that shouting at foreigners is useful, along with many other helpful tips for American tourists.
 The Onion (Website) / int_75196a1d
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_75196a1d
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_75196a1d
 The Onion (Website) / int_7582930a
type
Hollywood Science
 The Onion (Website) / int_7582930a
comment
Hollywood Science: Coal Lobby warns Wind Farms may blow Earth off-orbit.
 The Onion (Website) / int_7582930a
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_7582930a
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_7582930a
 The Onion (Website) / int_75f626a5
type
Nostalgia Filter
 The Onion (Website) / int_75f626a5
comment
Nostalgia Filter: Mocked In-Universe with "10 Things That Will Make You SUPER Nostalgic for The '90s", a 2013 slideshow with real photos of such great things as the Rwandan genocide, the fiery end of the Waco siege, the Oklahoma City bombing, and Columbine. (And Alan Alda, for some reason.) "Red Sox Announce Plans To Return Fenway To Original 1912 Conditions"
 The Onion (Website) / int_75f626a5
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_75f626a5
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_75f626a5
 The Onion (Website) / int_762b9223
type
Played for Laughs
 The Onion (Website) / int_762b9223
comment
Jean Teasdale is a vicious and tragic deconstruction, as she's almost (but not entirely) oblivious to the living hell that is her life. This is Played for Laughs.
 The Onion (Website) / int_762b9223
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_762b9223
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_762b9223
 The Onion (Website) / int_764ba6ce
type
Hostility on the Set
 The Onion (Website) / int_764ba6ce
comment
Hostility on the Set: In-universe: "Steven Spielberg Recalls Coming To Blows with E.T. On Film Set".
 The Onion (Website) / int_764ba6ce
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_764ba6ce
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_764ba6ce
 The Onion (Website) / int_767caf1f
type
Multiple Demographic Appeal
 The Onion (Website) / int_767caf1f
comment
Multiple Demographic Appeal: "Adults Go Wild Over Latest In Children's Picture Book Series".
 The Onion (Website) / int_767caf1f
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_767caf1f
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_767caf1f
 The Onion (Website) / int_768fb522
type
Side-Effects Include...
 The Onion (Website) / int_768fb522
comment
Side-Effects Include...: "Pfizer Launches 'Zoloft for Everything' Ad Campaign".
 The Onion (Website) / int_768fb522
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_768fb522
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_768fb522
 The Onion (Website) / int_76d233f9
type
Straw Feminist
 The Onion (Website) / int_76d233f9
comment
Straw Feminist: "I Don't Support Feminism If It Means Murdering All Men".
 The Onion (Website) / int_76d233f9
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_76d233f9
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_76d233f9
 The Onion (Website) / int_770c9008
type
Political Correctness Gone Mad
 The Onion (Website) / int_770c9008
comment
Political Correctness Gone Mad: "Parents Dedicate New College Safe Space In Honor Of Daughter Who Felt Weird In Class Once".
 The Onion (Website) / int_770c9008
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_770c9008
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_770c9008
 The Onion (Website) / int_7815ba15
type
N-Word Privileges
 The Onion (Website) / int_7815ba15
comment
N-Word Privileges: "God Finally Gives Shout-Out Back To All His Niggaz"
 The Onion (Website) / int_7815ba15
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_7815ba15
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_7815ba15
 The Onion (Website) / int_7831b670
type
Gaia's Vengeance
 The Onion (Website) / int_7831b670
comment
Gaia's Vengeance: "Scott Pruitt Nervously Picks Up Walking Pace as Hundreds of Whooping Cranes Begin Silently Perching Around Him"
 The Onion (Website) / int_7831b670
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_7831b670
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_7831b670
 The Onion (Website) / int_7886d4d0
type
December–December Romance
 The Onion (Website) / int_7886d4d0
comment
December–December Romance: "Ruth Bader Ginsburg Flirting With 67-Year-Old Intern Again"
 The Onion (Website) / int_7886d4d0
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_7886d4d0
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_7886d4d0
 The Onion (Website) / int_78c85191
type
Grapes of Luxury
 The Onion (Website) / int_78c85191
comment
Grapes of Luxury: "Obama Fed Grapes While Urging Press Conference To Enjoy Orgy".
 The Onion (Website) / int_78c85191
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_78c85191
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_78c85191
 The Onion (Website) / int_78c9ebbf
type
Gretzky Has the Ball
 The Onion (Website) / int_78c9ebbf
comment
Gretzky Has the Ball: Inverted with "Even British Able To See Holes In Buccaneer's Defence".
 The Onion (Website) / int_78c9ebbf
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_78c9ebbf
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_78c9ebbf
 The Onion (Website) / int_792b66e2
type
Periphery Demographic
 The Onion (Website) / int_792b66e2
comment
Periphery Demographic: In-Universe. "Children, Creepy Middle-Aged Weirdos Swept Up In 'Harry Potter' Craze". "Man Not Belonging To Movie's Target Demographic Escorted From Theater By Hollywood Officials". "Adults Go Wild Over Latest In Children's Picture Book Series".
 The Onion (Website) / int_792b66e2
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1.0
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_792b66e2
 The Onion (Website) / int_7960ab92
type
Sanity Ball
 The Onion (Website) / int_7960ab92
comment
Sanity Ball: The various recurring guests and hosts on In The Know take turns holding this between different segments and being the Only Sane Man with any actual knowledge regarding the issue. In other segments though everyone is equally uninformed and holding the Idiot Ball.
 The Onion (Website) / int_7960ab92
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1.0
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_7960ab92
 The Onion (Website) / int_799d05eb
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Not Listening to Me, Are You?
 The Onion (Website) / int_799d05eb
comment
Not Listening to Me, Are You?: The AV Club reposted a wildly popular shot of two female leads from Community re-enacting a famous picture by Bettie Page. About halfway through the one paragraph article, they conclude no one is there to actually read it and just start listing random factoids.
 The Onion (Website) / int_799d05eb
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1.0
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_799d05eb
 The Onion (Website) / int_79a60aec
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For Want of a Nail
 The Onion (Website) / int_79a60aec
comment
For Want of a Nail: "Recent Rise In International Disputes Traced Back To Cute U.N. Tour Guide"
 The Onion (Website) / int_79a60aec
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1.0
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_79a60aec
 The Onion (Website) / int_79f6799d
type
Political Cartoons
 The Onion (Website) / int_79f6799d
comment
Political Cartoons: Since 2006, The Onion has published an ongoing series of over-the-top editorial cartoons, drawn by artist Ward Sutton in the fictional persona of grouchy old right-wing crank Stan Kelly. Most of them feature the usual clichéd devices of the format as running gags - the Statue of Liberty weeping profusely, Kelly at his drawing board muttering a cynical pun in the corner. (A number have nothing to do with politics whatsoever, instead serving as a soapbox for Kelly to gripe about his lousy ex-wife, "today's messed-up teens", and the police officers who keep pulling him over for driving drunk.)note Due to the dead-on satirical nature, and how the source isn't immediately obvious in most of the cartoons, it's also one of the features most easily confused as being real.
 The Onion (Website) / int_79f6799d
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The Onion (Website) / int_79f6799d
 The Onion (Website) / int_7a143509
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Shell-Shocked Veteran
 The Onion (Website) / int_7a143509
comment
Shell-Shocked Veteran: "George W. Bush Debuts New Paintings Of Dogs, Friends, Ghost of Iraqi Child That Follows Him Everywhere".
 The Onion (Website) / int_7a143509
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The Onion (Website) / int_7a143509
 The Onion (Website) / int_7a265daa
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Eagleland
 The Onion (Website) / int_7a265daa
comment
Eagleland: Both types at once, in "American Public Actually Kind Of Endearing In Some Ways" Type 2: "Has Obama Failed To Reduce Hostility Toward Obnoxious Americans Abroad?"
 The Onion (Website) / int_7a265daa
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1.0
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_7a265daa
 The Onion (Website) / int_7a3dd888
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Real Men Wear Pink
 The Onion (Website) / int_7a3dd888
comment
Real Men Wear Pink: "New Texas-Style Yogurt To Feed Man-Size Hunger For Yogurt"
 The Onion (Website) / int_7a3dd888
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1.0
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_7a3dd888
 The Onion (Website) / int_7a5f720f
type
Sturgeon's Law
 The Onion (Website) / int_7a5f720f
comment
Sturgeon's Law: "Internet Scam Alert: Most "Kickstarter" Projects Just Useless Crap
 The Onion (Website) / int_7a5f720f
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1.0
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_7a5f720f
 The Onion (Website) / int_7cd98af5
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Potty Failure
 The Onion (Website) / int_7cd98af5
comment
Potty Failure: The Capricorn of this horoscope list.
 The Onion (Website) / int_7cd98af5
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1.0
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_7cd98af5
 The Onion (Website) / int_7d34f23a
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Reckless Gun Usage
 The Onion (Website) / int_7d34f23a
comment
Reckless Gun Usage: "8-Year-Old Accidentally Exercises Second Amendment Rights"
 The Onion (Website) / int_7d34f23a
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1.0
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_7d34f23a
 The Onion (Website) / int_7d89315b
type
 The Onion (Website) / int_7d89315b
comment
"The Reason You Suck" Speech: "New Study Finds It Is Impossible To Lose Weight, No One Has Ever Done It, And Those Who Are Trying Should Give Up" "Going-Out-Of-Business Sign Thanks Neighborhood For 3 Months Of No Support Whatsoever"
 The Onion (Website) / int_7d89315b
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_7d89315b
 The Onion (Website) / int_7e6c0522
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Off with His Head!
 The Onion (Website) / int_7e6c0522
comment
Off with His Head!: "White House Jester Beheaded For Making Fun Of Soaring National Debt" "Ohio Replaces Lethal Injection With Humane New Head-Ripping-Off Machine"
 The Onion (Website) / int_7e6c0522
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_7e6c0522
 The Onion (Website) / int_7eaf99d
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Malevolent Architecture
 The Onion (Website) / int_7eaf99d
comment
Malevolent Architecture / No OSHA Compliance: "Video-Game Characters Denounce Randomly-Placed Swinging Blades" "'Not Quite Perfect' McDonald's Opens In Illinois Outlet Mall"
 The Onion (Website) / int_7eaf99d
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The Onion (Website) / int_7eaf99d
 The Onion (Website) / int_7ef08424
type
Quantum Mechanics Can Do Anything
 The Onion (Website) / int_7ef08424
comment
Quantum Mechanics Can Do Anything: "Sci-fi Writer Attributes Everything Mysterious To 'Quantum Flux'".
 The Onion (Website) / int_7ef08424
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_7ef08424
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_7ef08424
 The Onion (Website) / int_7f3e75b6
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Look on My Works, Ye Mighty, and Despair!
 The Onion (Website) / int_7f3e75b6
comment
Look on My Works, Ye Mighty, and Despair!: "New Chuck E. Cheese Restaurant Forged In Iron And Blood".
 The Onion (Website) / int_7f3e75b6
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_7f3e75b6
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_7f3e75b6
 The Onion (Website) / int_7f8fd503
type
Lonely at the Top
 The Onion (Website) / int_7f8fd503
comment
Lonely at the Top: "Rich Guy Feeling Left Out Of Recession".
 The Onion (Website) / int_7f8fd503
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_7f8fd503
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_7f8fd503
 The Onion (Website) / int_80133ca4
type
Trial Balloon Question
 The Onion (Website) / int_80133ca4
comment
Trial Balloon Question: "NASA Curious How Folks Would Feel If They Hypothetically Already Launched A Manned Mars Mission That Didn’t Go So Hot".
 The Onion (Website) / int_80133ca4
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_80133ca4
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_80133ca4
 The Onion (Website) / int_80d0d980
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The Generic Guy
 The Onion (Website) / int_80d0d980
comment
The Generic Guy: "Tim Duncan Announces Shoe Deal With Florsheim".
 The Onion (Website) / int_80d0d980
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_80d0d980
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_80d0d980
 The Onion (Website) / int_82108e3d
type
Attack Its Weak Point
 The Onion (Website) / int_82108e3d
comment
Attack Its Weak Point: A variation as an interview with a boss from Contra III: "Video Game Boss Thinking He Should Get Big Glowing Weak Spot On Back Checked Out"
 The Onion (Website) / int_82108e3d
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_82108e3d
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_82108e3d
 The Onion (Website) / int_8296f61d
type
King in the Mountain
 The Onion (Website) / int_8296f61d
comment
King in the Mountain: Should Obama Blow The Silver Horn The Founding Fathers Left In Case The Country Ever Needed Them?
 The Onion (Website) / int_8296f61d
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_8296f61d
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_8296f61d
 The Onion (Website) / int_82ff8b68
type
Artistic License – Animal Care
 The Onion (Website) / int_82ff8b68
comment
Artistic License – Animal Care: "As Much As I Hated Putting My Dog To Sleep, I Know He'll Feel Better When He Wakes Up".
 The Onion (Website) / int_82ff8b68
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_82ff8b68
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The Onion (Website) / int_82ff8b68
 The Onion (Website) / int_830343d8
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We Will Use WikiWords in the Future
 The Onion (Website) / int_830343d8
comment
We Will Use WikiWords in the Future: Future News 2137 has the anchors and interviewees using words like "Frustrage" and "Criticalism".
 The Onion (Website) / int_830343d8
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_830343d8
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_830343d8
 The Onion (Website) / int_83072850
type
BaseBreakingCharacter
 The Onion (Website) / int_83072850
comment
Base-Breaking Character: In-Universe, "Russell Crowe Praised For Stunning Portrayal Of Man Who Cannot Sing Or Act In 'Les Misérables'"
 The Onion (Website) / int_83072850
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_83072850
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_83072850
 The Onion (Website) / int_83444b89
type
MST
 The Onion (Website) / int_83444b89
comment
MST: "Guy In Audience Shouts Out Perfect Thing".
 The Onion (Website) / int_83444b89
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_83444b89
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_83444b89
 The Onion (Website) / int_83a903f6
type
Stepford Smiler
 The Onion (Website) / int_83a903f6
comment
Stepford Smiler: The hosts of Today Now! are Type B, although it's possible Tracy Gill is Type A.
 The Onion (Website) / int_83a903f6
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_83a903f6
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_83a903f6
 The Onion (Website) / int_83f18d93
type
DontGoIntoTheWoods
 The Onion (Website) / int_83f18d93
comment
Don't Go Into the Woods: Report: Leading Cause Of Death Still Venturing Beyond The Pines. Disregarding this trope and venturing into the forest—whether by losing your way on a foggy night, looking for a shortcut despite repeated warnings not to, or just waking up in the middle of the night and heading straight for the forest—turns out to be the leading cause of death among Americans.
 The Onion (Website) / int_83f18d93
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The Onion (Website) / int_83f18d93
 The Onion (Website) / int_8409a385
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Exactly What It Says on the Tin
 The Onion (Website) / int_8409a385
comment
Exactly What It Says on the Tin: 74 normal photos and two kinda weird ones is a collection of 74 normal photos and two kinda weird ones offered without comment.
 The Onion (Website) / int_8409a385
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_8409a385
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The Onion (Website) / int_8409a385
 The Onion (Website) / int_848bec3d
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Wishing for More Wishes
 The Onion (Website) / int_848bec3d
comment
Wishing for More Wishes: "Child Bankrupts Make-A-Wish Foundation with Wish for Unlimited Wishes"
 The Onion (Website) / int_848bec3d
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_848bec3d
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_848bec3d
 The Onion (Website) / int_851dda8f
type
Humanoid Abomination
 The Onion (Website) / int_851dda8f
comment
Humanoid Abomination: "Neverland Ranch Investigators Discover Corpse of Real Michael Jackson" Dick Cheney, Ted Cruz, and especially Steve Bannon are all frequently depicted this way.
 The Onion (Website) / int_851dda8f
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_851dda8f
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_851dda8f
 The Onion (Website) / int_85557b38
type
Reality Is Unrealistic
 The Onion (Website) / int_85557b38
comment
Reality Is Unrealistic: Muscleman Put In Charge Of World's Fifth-Largest Economy is a perfectly accurate depiction of fact, just with an unusual tone.
 The Onion (Website) / int_85557b38
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_85557b38
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_85557b38
 The Onion (Website) / int_85bcc5a8
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Lampshaded Double Entendre
 The Onion (Website) / int_85bcc5a8
comment
Lampshaded Double Entendre: "Peyton Manning's Wife Tired Of His Constant 'Audibles' At The 'Line Of Scrimmage'"
 The Onion (Website) / int_85bcc5a8
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_85bcc5a8
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_85bcc5a8
 The Onion (Website) / int_863fac26
type
Jerk Jock
 The Onion (Website) / int_863fac26
comment
Jerk Jock: "Second-Most Popular Kid In School Assumes Power Following Death Of Star Quarterback".
 The Onion (Website) / int_863fac26
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_863fac26
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_863fac26
 The Onion (Website) / int_86408bad
type
First Rule of the Yard
 The Onion (Website) / int_86408bad
comment
First Rule of the Yard: Biggest Guy In Prison Tired Of Every New Inmate Beating Shit Out Of Him On Their First Day
 The Onion (Website) / int_86408bad
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_86408bad
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_86408bad
 The Onion (Website) / int_86b21114
type
Badass Boast
 The Onion (Website) / int_86b21114
comment
Badass Boast: "Google Shuts Down Gmail For Two Hours To Show Its Immense Power"
 The Onion (Website) / int_86b21114
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_86b21114
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_86b21114
 The Onion (Website) / int_8774fb47
type
Eldritch Abomination
 The Onion (Website) / int_8774fb47
comment
Eldritch Abomination: "After Obama Victory, Shrieking White-Hot Sphere Of Pure Rage Early GOP Front-Runner For 2016" This has been a Running Gag about the baby born to Prince William and Kate Middleston. And, of course, God. It's actually quite a good example of what an Eldritch Abomination might look like (we're probably not seeing its full incomprehensibility, doubtful a human-built camera can pick that up) and do to someone if it decides to directly show itself. Assuming, of course, that isn't just a tiny EXTENSION of the divine being. "Swiss Guard Charge Writhing Mass Of Black Tentacles Devouring Pope Francis" The Director of the Theseus Protocol apparently causes the temperature to drop 25 degrees just by being present, may be able to cause storms at will, and when people make eye contact with them, he causes "a sudden veil of blackness to descend upon them paralyzing their bodies and causing them to collapse to the floor in a fit of wide-eyed tremoring." He also appears to lead an army from another dimension, and wants to destroy this physical universe to birth a powerful god known as the "Many-Instanced One." World-Eating Leviathan Awoken From 500-Million-Year Slumber In Martian Underground Lake After Feeling Sonar Disturbance
 The Onion (Website) / int_8774fb47
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 The Onion (Website) / int_8774fb47
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The Onion (Website) / int_8774fb47
 The Onion (Website) / int_87b3d1fd
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Trans Equals Gay
 The Onion (Website) / int_87b3d1fd
comment
Trans Equals Gay: "Conservatives: Sex Change Only Barrier Between Gays/Marriage".
 The Onion (Website) / int_87b3d1fd
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_87b3d1fd
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_87b3d1fd
 The Onion (Website) / int_87bb6874
type
Villain with Good Publicity
 The Onion (Website) / int_87bb6874
comment
Villain with Good Publicity: "PR Firm Kills Innocent Child".
 The Onion (Website) / int_87bb6874
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_87bb6874
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_87bb6874
 The Onion (Website) / int_884e513b
type
Medium Awareness
 The Onion (Website) / int_884e513b
comment
Medium Awareness: "Ominous Music Heard Throughout U.S. Sends Nation Into Panic" "Breaking News: Concentric Circles Emanating From Glowing Red Dot"
 The Onion (Website) / int_884e513b
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_884e513b
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_884e513b
 The Onion (Website) / int_88fa35e0
type
Walking Techbane
 The Onion (Website) / int_88fa35e0
comment
Walking Techbane: "My Computer Totally Hates Me! vs. God, Do I Hate That Bitch".
 The Onion (Website) / int_88fa35e0
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_88fa35e0
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_88fa35e0
 The Onion (Website) / int_89204ffb
type
Shrug of God
 The Onion (Website) / int_89204ffb
comment
Shrug of God: In-Universe, and literal example with "God Wonders What Happens To Humans After They Die".
 The Onion (Website) / int_89204ffb
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_89204ffb
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_89204ffb
 The Onion (Website) / int_89b8822f
type
Go Mad from the Revelation
 The Onion (Website) / int_89b8822f
comment
Go Mad from the Revelation: "One-On-One Interview With God".
 The Onion (Website) / int_89b8822f
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_89b8822f
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_89b8822f
 The Onion (Website) / int_8a5f1611
type
Overly Stereotypical Disguise
 The Onion (Website) / int_8a5f1611
comment
Overly Stereotypical Disguise: "Reporter Goes Undercover In Chinatown By Wearing Silk Robe" sees the undercover reporter putting on Yellow Face, a conical straw hat, and speaking in broken English in the belief that it will help him blend in with the population of Chinatown and allow him to infiltrate a counterfeit ring. Much to his genuine confusion, people refuse to speak to him.
 The Onion (Website) / int_8a5f1611
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_8a5f1611
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 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_8a5f1611
 The Onion (Website) / int_8a7b6187
type
Gravity Is Only a Theory
 The Onion (Website) / int_8a7b6187
comment
Gravity Is Only a Theory: The article "Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New 'Intelligent Falling' Theory", where fundamentalist Christians are no longer content to get equal time with biology to preach theology in biology class. They now also want equal time in the physics class, demanding that the theories of Newton and Einstein step back in favor of the theory that the universe is held together by Jesus' love.
 The Onion (Website) / int_8a7b6187
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The Onion (Website) / int_8a7b6187
 The Onion (Website) / int_8a888e34
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Exploding Barrels
 The Onion (Website) / int_8a888e34
comment
Exploding Barrels: "Video Game Henchmen Plan Meetup Around Explosive Barrels"
 The Onion (Website) / int_8a888e34
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_8a888e34
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The Onion (Website) / int_8a888e34
 The Onion (Website) / int_8ac90da4
type
Retail Riot
 The Onion (Website) / int_8ac90da4
comment
Retail Riot: "42 Million Dead In Bloodiest Black Friday Weekend On Record"
 The Onion (Website) / int_8ac90da4
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 The Onion (Website) / int_8ac90da4
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The Onion (Website) / int_8ac90da4
 The Onion (Website) / int_8ae880f7
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Deconstruction
 The Onion (Website) / int_8ae880f7
comment
Deconstruction: "Ultra-Realistic Modern Warfare Game Features Awaiting Orders, Repairing Trucks". Several articles are deconstructions, often by having something frequently portrayed in media happen to real people and showing what it would really be like, such as "Romantic-Comedy Behavior Gets Real-Life Man Arrested".
 The Onion (Website) / int_8ae880f7
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The Onion (Website) / int_8ae880f7
 The Onion (Website) / int_8af45dbd
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Wild Teen Party
 The Onion (Website) / int_8af45dbd
comment
Wild Teen Party: "Congress Lowers Drinking Age To 17 Just For Jenny's Party"
 The Onion (Website) / int_8af45dbd
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1.0
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_8af45dbd
 The Onion (Website) / int_8b51de71
type
There Is No Kill Like Overkill
 The Onion (Website) / int_8b51de71
comment
There Is No Kill Like Over Kill: “NYPD Apologizes For Accidental Shooting-Clubbing-Stabbing-Firebombing-Choking-Impaling-Beheading-Electrocution-Lethal injection death"
 The Onion (Website) / int_8b51de71
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The Onion (Website) / int_8b51de71
 The Onion (Website) / int_8becc5c5
type
Existential Horror
 The Onion (Website) / int_8becc5c5
comment
Existential Horror: Scientists Teach Gorilla it Will Die Someday, as well as Existentialist Firefighter Delays 3 Deaths. And those are just the really obvious ones.
 The Onion (Website) / int_8becc5c5
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1.0
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 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_8becc5c5
 The Onion (Website) / int_8c8bd091
type
Fetus Terrible
 The Onion (Website) / int_8c8bd091
comment
Fetus Terrible: Kate Middleton's baby looks to be one in such articles as "Kate Middleton: Cut This Monster Out of Me" and "Royal Family Releases Kate Middleton Ultrasound Image". The baby has moved on to becoming a full Enfant Terrible/Eldritch Abomination.
 The Onion (Website) / int_8c8bd091
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_8c8bd091
 The Onion (Website) / int_8cf6aa
type
Literal Metaphor
 The Onion (Website) / int_8cf6aa
comment
Literal Metaphor: A good deal of the horoscopes.
 The Onion (Website) / int_8cf6aa
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_8cf6aa
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_8cf6aa
 The Onion (Website) / int_8d23f3a7
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Timey-Wimey Ball
 The Onion (Website) / int_8d23f3a7
comment
Timey-Wimey Ball: *Historical Archives: Civil War Pre-Enactors Have Stage'd Battle Of Bull Run".
 The Onion (Website) / int_8d23f3a7
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_8d23f3a7
 The Onion (Website) / int_8d6c8737
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Insurmountable Waist-Height Fence
 The Onion (Website) / int_8d6c8737
comment
Insurmountable Waist-Height Fence: Video Game Character Stares Impotently At Forbidden Realm Beyond Impassable Waist-High Bush
 The Onion (Website) / int_8d6c8737
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_8d6c8737
 The Onion (Website) / int_8d718b9e
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Bears Are Bad News
 The Onion (Website) / int_8d718b9e
comment
Bears Are Bad News: "Whoooooo! Bears! vs. Aaaaaggh! Bears!" "Syria Conflict Intensifies As Bears Enter War".
 The Onion (Website) / int_8d718b9e
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_8d718b9e
 The Onion (Website) / int_8dd788d2
type
Direct-to-Video
 The Onion (Website) / int_8dd788d2
comment
Direct-to-Video: In-Universe, "Land Before Time VI Released Straight To Landfill"
 The Onion (Website) / int_8dd788d2
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_8dd788d2
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The Onion (Website) / int_8dd788d2
 The Onion (Website) / int_8e0bedfe
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Kid Sidekick
 The Onion (Website) / int_8e0bedfe
comment
Kid Sidekick: "Supreme Court's Sidekick Kid Justice Killed By Mad Genius Dr. Contempto"
 The Onion (Website) / int_8e0bedfe
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_8e0bedfe
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The Onion (Website) / int_8e0bedfe
 The Onion (Website) / int_8e3980c7
type
Mistaken Nationality
 The Onion (Website) / int_8e3980c7
comment
Mistaken Nationality: Spexico: "Restaurant Turns Out To Be Spanish, Not Mexican".
 The Onion (Website) / int_8e3980c7
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_8e3980c7
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 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_8e3980c7
 The Onion (Website) / int_8e69fee0
type
Double-Blind What-If
 The Onion (Website) / int_8e69fee0
comment
Double-Blind What-If: Parodied in "Alternate Universe Sci-Fi Channel Show Asks What Would Happen If Germany Lost War".
 The Onion (Website) / int_8e69fee0
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_8e69fee0
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The Onion (Website) / int_8e69fee0
 The Onion (Website) / int_8ed5c6e4
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Asshole Victim
 The Onion (Website) / int_8ed5c6e4
comment
Asshole Victim: "No Leads Sought In Asshole's Murder"
 The Onion (Website) / int_8ed5c6e4
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_8ed5c6e4
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The Onion (Website) / int_8ed5c6e4
 The Onion (Website) / int_8f23f7e5
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Horrorscope
 The Onion (Website) / int_8f23f7e5
comment
Horrorscope: The Onion's faux horoscopes are often blackly comedic in nature. Horoscope for Scorpio: 'Your week will be so varied, interesting, and surprising that eventually the coroner will just give up, shrug, and write "heart failure" in the spot marked "Cause of Death".'
 The Onion (Website) / int_8f23f7e5
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The Onion (Website) / int_8f23f7e5
 The Onion (Website) / int_8f6ca47
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Shaving Is Science
 The Onion (Website) / int_8f6ca47
comment
Shaving Is Science: "Haggar Physicists Develop 'Quantum Slacks'". "Brookstone Scientists 10 Years Away from Towel Alarm Clock".
 The Onion (Website) / int_8f6ca47
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_8f6ca47
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The Onion (Website) / int_8f6ca47
 The Onion (Website) / int_8f9f71a8
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Crazy Enough to Work
 The Onion (Website) / int_8f9f71a8
comment
Crazy Enough to Work: "Area Idea So Crazy It Just Might Work".
 The Onion (Website) / int_8f9f71a8
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_8f9f71a8
 The Onion (Website) / int_90965cc7
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Hive Mind
 The Onion (Website) / int_90965cc7
comment
Hive Mind: "Residents of Indiana Join Together To Form Collective Consciousness".
 The Onion (Website) / int_90965cc7
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 The Onion (Website) / int_90965cc7
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The Onion (Website) / int_90965cc7
 The Onion (Website) / int_90d44f44
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Karmic Death
 The Onion (Website) / int_90d44f44
comment
Karmic Death: EPA Administrator Proves Carbon Emissions Not Harmful By Inhaling Directly From Truck’s Tailpipe
 The Onion (Website) / int_90d44f44
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_90d44f44
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The Onion (Website) / int_90d44f44
 The Onion (Website) / int_9107b72
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Circles of Hell
 The Onion (Website) / int_9107b72
comment
Circles of Hell: "Tenth Circle Added To Rapidly-Growing Hell".
 The Onion (Website) / int_9107b72
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_9107b72
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The Onion (Website) / int_9107b72
 The Onion (Website) / int_913089c2
type
Screwed by the Network
 The Onion (Website) / int_913089c2
comment
Screwed by the Network: In-Universe. On the season finale of the show on IFC, The Cressbeckler Stance was canned so the network could introduce a new program about motorcycles in the spirit of the new American Dream.
 The Onion (Website) / int_913089c2
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The Onion (Website) / int_913089c2
 The Onion (Website) / int_9141fba3
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Fountain of Youth
 The Onion (Website) / int_9141fba3
comment
Fountain of Youth: "Experimental Anti-Aging Treatment Still Has Few Kinks, Report Infant Researchers"
 The Onion (Website) / int_9141fba3
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_9141fba3
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The Onion (Website) / int_9141fba3
 The Onion (Website) / int_9182ea54
type
Crazy Cat Lady
 The Onion (Website) / int_9182ea54
comment
Crazy Cat Lady: "How To Put The Spark Back Into Your Relationship With Your Cat."
 The Onion (Website) / int_9182ea54
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_9182ea54
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_9182ea54
 The Onion (Website) / int_91cecc1e
type
Exaggerated Trope
 The Onion (Website) / int_91cecc1e
comment
Exaggerated Trope: Many of the articles get their humor from taking a regular trope, such as the Cowboy Cop example above, and cranking it up full blast.
 The Onion (Website) / int_91cecc1e
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_91cecc1e
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 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_91cecc1e
 The Onion (Website) / int_91df9d19
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Military Coup
 The Onion (Website) / int_91df9d19
comment
Military Coup: "U.S. Government Stages Fake Coup To Wipe Out National Debt"
 The Onion (Website) / int_91df9d19
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_91df9d19
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The Onion (Website) / int_91df9d19
 The Onion (Website) / int_91e7082a
type
Remarried to the Mistress
 The Onion (Website) / int_91e7082a
comment
Remarried to the Mistress: The premise of the "New Mommy A Lot Prettier" article. More disturbingly, the children start to prefer her over their own mother, in spite of them being kicked out of their large home to go live with their mother in a small apartment, their father using gifts to help win them over and the implication that both him and their stepmother don't actually parent either child as evident from them having no set bedtime and the lack of concern about the son's asthma medication.
 The Onion (Website) / int_91e7082a
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The Onion (Website) / int_91e7082a
 The Onion (Website) / int_921932c7
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Activist Fundamentalist Antics
 The Onion (Website) / int_921932c7
comment
Activist Fundamentalist Antics: Millions more, however, have decried the recalcitrant Christ's apostasy, breaking ties with Him and calling His conversion "a heathen act" of "utmost blasphemy before Himself".
 The Onion (Website) / int_921932c7
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The Onion (Website) / int_921932c7
 The Onion (Website) / int_928ca2cc
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You Have Outlived Your Usefulness
 The Onion (Website) / int_928ca2cc
comment
You Have Outlived Your Usefulness: "‘I’m Afraid You Won’t Be Coming To Our New Headquarters,’ Declares Alexa As Amazon Execs Find Themselves Locked In Seattle Office" "All Of Area Man's Hard Work Finally Pays Off For Employer" ends with the following depressing sentence.
 The Onion (Website) / int_928ca2cc
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_928ca2cc
 The Onion (Website) / int_92cca75b
type
Ret-Gone
 The Onion (Website) / int_92cca75b
comment
Ret-Gone: "Report: Decision To Read This Headline Has Erased Future Daughter ‘Emily’ In All Possible Timelines"
 The Onion (Website) / int_92cca75b
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_92cca75b
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_92cca75b
 The Onion (Website) / int_92dfffae
type
Retraux
 The Onion (Website) / int_92dfffae
comment
Retraux: All of Our Dumb Century.
 The Onion (Website) / int_92dfffae
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_92dfffae
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_92dfffae
 The Onion (Website) / int_93168fb1
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It's Quiet… Too Quiet
 The Onion (Website) / int_93168fb1
comment
It's Quiet… Too Quiet: "Tea Party Quiet... Too Quiet"
 The Onion (Website) / int_93168fb1
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_93168fb1
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 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_93168fb1
 The Onion (Website) / int_938e9bc0
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Absent-Minded Professor
 The Onion (Website) / int_938e9bc0
comment
Absent-Minded Professor: "Cure For Cancer 'Around Here Somewhere'".
 The Onion (Website) / int_938e9bc0
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_938e9bc0
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 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_938e9bc0
 The Onion (Website) / int_940a5958
type
Artificial Stupidity
 The Onion (Website) / int_940a5958
comment
Artificial Stupidity: "Guard In Video Game Under Strict Orders To Repeatedly Pace Same Stretch Of Hallway", a report on Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty.
 The Onion (Website) / int_940a5958
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_940a5958
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The Onion (Website) / int_940a5958
 The Onion (Website) / int_94680696
type
Shaped Like Itself
 The Onion (Website) / int_94680696
comment
Shaped Like Itself: "Report: Turkey Sandwiches An Excellent Source Of Turkey Sandwiches" "Investigators Determine Air France Disaster Caused By Plane Crash"
 The Onion (Website) / int_94680696
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_94680696
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 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_94680696
 The Onion (Website) / int_95b7c400
type
Faux Affably Evil
 The Onion (Website) / int_95b7c400
comment
Faux Affably Evil: "So, What's It Going To Be?" by Bashar al-Assad is written in such a tone.
 The Onion (Website) / int_95b7c400
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_95b7c400
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The Onion (Website) / int_95b7c400
 The Onion (Website) / int_95cb7004
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Only Sane Employee
 The Onion (Website) / int_95cb7004
comment
Only Sane Employee: "Developmentally Disabled Burger King Employee Only Competent Worker".
 The Onion (Website) / int_95cb7004
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_95cb7004
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The Onion (Website) / int_95cb7004
 The Onion (Website) / int_9712e10
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Sword of Plot Advancement
 The Onion (Website) / int_9712e10
comment
Sword of Plot Advancement: "Congress Sets Sail In Search Of Fabled Sword Of Bipartisanship".
 The Onion (Website) / int_9712e10
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_9712e10
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_9712e10
 The Onion (Website) / int_973d220f
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Never My Fault
 The Onion (Website) / int_973d220f
comment
Never My Fault: "Shitty Human Being Blames Decreased Daylight This Time". Part of Jean Teasdale's Cloud Cuckoolander act is her never accepting responsibility or blame for her faults, whether it's getting firednote She got caught using eBay — on the boss's computer, no less — and remains convinced that the boss just hated her or her poor sense of humornote A friend declines to use Jean's jokes in a stand-up act because they're pithy and toothless, but Jean thinks the friend was threatened by the idea of a superior comic. When a local magazine calls her article out for being garbage, she insists that they don't know what they're talking about — while doing everything that they said makes her articles garbage. Girlfriend Dumped After Valentine Candy Related Weight Gain. After pressuring his girlfriend to eat the candy he gave her (which she the ate over the course of a week as they were snowed in and left unable to do her usual errands, like the gym), a Bastard Boyfriend dumps the slim girl via email for putting on somewhere between 3-5 pounds.
 The Onion (Website) / int_973d220f
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_973d220f
 The Onion (Website) / int_979ca348
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Repurposed Pop Song
 The Onion (Website) / int_979ca348
comment
Repurposed Pop Song: "Song About Heroin Used To Advertise Bank".
 The Onion (Website) / int_979ca348
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_979ca348
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_979ca348
 The Onion (Website) / int_97fa0a10
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Mass
 The Onion (Website) / int_97fa0a10
comment
Mass "Oh, Crap!": "Nationals Book It After Foul Ball Accidentally Smashes Capitol Rotunda"
 The Onion (Website) / int_97fa0a10
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_97fa0a10
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_97fa0a10
 The Onion (Website) / int_9843be73
type
As You Know
 The Onion (Website) / int_9843be73
comment
As You Know: "FAA Issues Holiday Reminder That Planes Can Crash And Kill You"
 The Onion (Website) / int_9843be73
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_9843be73
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_9843be73
 The Onion (Website) / int_98a19d7f
type
Money, Dear Boy
 The Onion (Website) / int_98a19d7f
comment
Money, Dear Boy: In-Universe, "Nobel Fever Grips Research Community As Prize Swells To $190 Million"
 The Onion (Website) / int_98a19d7f
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_98a19d7f
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_98a19d7f
 The Onion (Website) / int_98b5f82b
type
Basement-Dweller
 The Onion (Website) / int_98b5f82b
comment
Basement-Dweller: "Congress Cuts Funding For 26-Year-Old Stepson".
 The Onion (Website) / int_98b5f82b
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_98b5f82b
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_98b5f82b
 The Onion (Website) / int_99298c71
type
Better to Die than Be Killed
 The Onion (Website) / int_99298c71
comment
Better to Die than Be Killed: "Proud Species Commits Suicide Rather Than Be Driven To Extinction By Humans"
 The Onion (Website) / int_99298c71
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_99298c71
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_99298c71
 The Onion (Website) / int_993cf18f
type
Not So Different
 The Onion (Website) / int_993cf18f
comment
Not So Different: Subtly brought up in "Former Cult Members Find New Life In Christ," in which the cult's bizarre, oppressive or disgusting practices are compared to commonly accepted Christian teachings. Privileged Children Of Millionaires Square Off On World Stage". The children in question? George W. Bush and Osama bin Laden.
 The Onion (Website) / int_993cf18f
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_993cf18f
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_993cf18f
 The Onion (Website) / int_99a7aa94
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Seven Deadly Sins
 The Onion (Website) / int_99a7aa94
comment
Seven Deadly Sins: "All Seven Deadly Sins Committed At Church Bake Sale".
 The Onion (Website) / int_99a7aa94
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_99a7aa94
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_99a7aa94
 The Onion (Website) / int_9a8c7632
type
Dumb Is Good
 The Onion (Website) / int_9a8c7632
comment
Dumb Is Good: "Developmentally Disabled Burger King Employee Only Competent Worker".
 The Onion (Website) / int_9a8c7632
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_9a8c7632
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_9a8c7632
 The Onion (Website) / int_9af977f4
type
Second-Person Narration
 The Onion (Website) / int_9af977f4
comment
Second-Person Narration: The paper's preferred method to point out This Loser Is You, such as "Everyone Still Remembers Time You Threw Up In 5th Grade".
 The Onion (Website) / int_9af977f4
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Let Them Die Happy
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Let Them Die Happy: Family Tells Ailing Mandela Racism Over
 The Onion (Website) / int_9c73b5b2
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A Day in the Limelight
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comment
A Day in the Limelight: "Is Pundit Duncan Birch A Worthless Idiot?"
 The Onion (Website) / int_9c8701b5
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Lovable Sex Maniac
 The Onion (Website) / int_9cdef1ef
comment
Lovable Sex Maniac: Joe Biden was portrayed as one until 2020.
 The Onion (Website) / int_9cdef1ef
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Future Badass
 The Onion (Website) / int_9ce7c264
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Future Badass / Evil Overlord: "Person Who Will One Day Become Warlord-Ruler Of What Was Once Nebraska Born In Omaha Hospital".
 The Onion (Website) / int_9ce7c264
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Sex Is Evil, and I Am Horny
 The Onion (Website) / int_9d0cfdb9
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Sex Is Evil, and I Am Horny: One article commented on the scandal of the Catholic Church covering up for pedophile priests (by moving them around instead of ousting and reporting them, thus covering their tracks and giving them access to new victims) by having the Pope announce that God will forgive the children for their crime of leading his priests into temptation.
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Animal Athlete Loophole
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Animal Athlete Loophole: "Kentucky Violated NCAA Rules While Recruiting Basketball-Playing Dog". "Washed-Up Air Bud Signs With Greek Pro Team".
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Fag Hag
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Fag Hag/Pet Homosexual: "Gay Man, Unattractive Woman Form Tight Bond".
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Continuity Nod
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Continuity Nod: Joad Cressbeckler, first introduced as an "even more grizzled and ornery" alternative to John McCain during the "War For The White House", now has his own series (The Cressbeckler Stance) parodying FOX News' primetime commentary shows. Several stories about an "Area Man" visiting restaurants are about the same man (Don Turnbee of Erie, PA) with the same photo model. Another couple of stories are about a veterinary assistant with some odd quirks; more recently, the same idiot showed up in two stories- the first one essentially said "this idiot shouldn't be allowed to vote", while the second one takes a potshot at Donald Trump's supporters. One occured in the same issue; a Jim Anchower column has him helping a driver who then gives him her number, at which point presumably an ex of her's calls him up. It's implied to be fellow columnist Smoove B, and this column has his side of the story (he doesn't say Anchower's name, but the appearance is a dead giveaway). While fact checking the third presidential debate, they claim to have already fact-checked Donald Trump's quote about the NAFTA. Indeed they previously had, while fact checking the first debate In The Onion's Election Glossary, 8 of the definitions are lifted straight from The Onion Book of Known Knowledge.
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Inspirationally Disadvantaged
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Inspirationally Disadvantaged "Coming up next: Serial killer with Down Syndrome commits fifth inspirational murder". "World Now Down To 5 Stories That Are Inspirational" and the photo caption "Double Amputee Proves He Is Capable Of Anything" are both inspired by the 2013 arrest of Real Life double amputee Olympic-level sprinter Oscar Pistorius for the premeditated murder of his girlfriend. Downplayed in "Developmentally Disabled Burger King Employee Only Competent Worker", in which the developmentally disabled employee stands out by doing the simple things his (supposedly) smarter co-workers are supposed to be doing. Deconstructed in "Developmentally Disabled Senator Wants To Be Treated Like Every Other Lawmaker".
 The Onion (Website) / int_9dd2af4a
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Filler
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Filler: New Census Study Finds That 40% Of U.S. Population Is Filler
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Most Definitely Not a Villain
 The Onion (Website) / int_9e08b900
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Most Definitely Not a Villain: "Cindy McCain Claims She’s ‘Just Like Any Other Female Human’": "Despite the media's portrayal of her, Cindy McCain says she is a down-to-earth person who enjoys breathing oxygen and consuming earth food for energy" "...who loves her children with both her hearts" but wonders why the man-creatures dare to doubt their masters. Just a normal person!
 The Onion (Website) / int_9e08b900
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Foe Yay
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Foe Yay:invoked "Sexual Tension Between Arafat, Sharon Reaches Breaking Point". "Massachusetts Supreme Court Orders All Citizens To Gay Marry".
 The Onion (Website) / int_9e33d63a
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Flock of Wolves
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Flock of Wolves: "Klan Rally 70 Percent Undercover Reporters".
 The Onion (Website) / int_9e74f33
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It Is Beyond Saving
 The Onion (Website) / int_9e9e8623
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It Is Beyond Saving: "FDA Commissioner: I Give Up On You Pigs"
 The Onion (Website) / int_9e9e8623
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UnPerson
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Un-person: "White House Denies Existence Of Karl Rove"
 The Onion (Website) / int_9ebd9c33
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GetALoadOfThatSquare
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Get a Load of That Square: "Area Father Must Have Read Some Drug-Slang Brochure Or Something".
 The Onion (Website) / int_9f510a11
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Glurge
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Glurge: In-Universe, "Nation Afraid To Admit 9-Year-Old Disabled Poet Really Bad".
 The Onion (Website) / int_9fc60cc5
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Gun Nut
 The Onion (Website) / int_a0412c52
comment
Gun Nut: "NRA Praised For Decreasing Stigma Of Mentally Ill Acquiring Firearms"
 The Onion (Website) / int_a0412c52
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 The Onion (Website) / int_a0947d78
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Token Trio
 The Onion (Website) / int_a0947d78
comment
Token Trio: Can be observed in the peer review panel in this article.
 The Onion (Website) / int_a0947d78
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Video Game Settings
 The Onion (Website) / int_a0e8770b
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Video Game Settings: "Neighborhood Would Make A Great Video Game Level".
 The Onion (Website) / int_a0e8770b
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Too Incompetent to Operate a Blanket
 The Onion (Website) / int_a17dac32
comment
Too Incompetent to Operate a Blanket: The host of the "Troublehacker" videos. "Should More Americans Get In On The EZ-Go Juicer Craze?" "Peter Jackson's 'The Hobbit' Stays Faithful To Original Book, Denny's Menu" "NASCAR To Abandon Racing Portion Of Business, Concentrate On Ads"
 The Onion (Website) / int_a17dac32
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Overly Long Gag
 The Onion (Website) / int_a188ac4b
comment
Overly Long Gag: "'The Hobbit' To Feature 53-Minute-Long Scene Of Bilbo Baggins Trying To Figure Out What To Pack" "Opium-Inspired Ad Executive Composes Epic Tums Jingle"
 The Onion (Website) / int_a188ac4b
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Samus Is a Girl
 The Onion (Website) / int_a18d407b
comment
Samus Is a Girl: "Hotshot Test Pilot Removes Helmet, Reveals Female Status".
 The Onion (Website) / int_a18d407b
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Parental Obliviousness
 The Onion (Website) / int_a1fedb67
comment
Parental Obliviousness / Drugs Are Bad: "I Hope My Baby Doesn't Come Out All Fucked-Up And Shit".
 The Onion (Website) / int_a1fedb67
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 The Onion (Website) / int_a220d528
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What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
 The Onion (Website) / int_a220d528
comment
What Could Possibly Go Wrong?: "Report: 10 Million Killed Annually By Stepping Out Of Comfort Zones".
 The Onion (Website) / int_a220d528
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Sapient Cetaceans
 The Onion (Website) / int_a246aed6
comment
Sapient Cetaceans: Parodied this with the article "Dolphins Evolve Opposable Thumbs: 'Oh, Shit,' Says Humanity". The article is then filled with stories of the Dolphins' incredibly rapid technology development, and marine biologists committing suicide or preparing to serve the Dolphin overlords.
 The Onion (Website) / int_a246aed6
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Eye Scream
 The Onion (Website) / int_a2b38d3b
comment
Eye Scream: "Report: It A Miracle Nothing Has Punctured Your Eye Yet"
 The Onion (Website) / int_a2b38d3b
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 The Onion (Website) / int_a2f3e380
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World of Weirdness
 The Onion (Website) / int_a2f3e380
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World of Weirdness: The entire body of work could be seen as a serious news source from a crazy alternate world.
 The Onion (Website) / int_a2f3e380
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Single Tear
 The Onion (Website) / int_a2ff4e6f
comment
Single Tear: Kelly invariably depicts the Statue of Liberty as shedding one, whether out of sorrow or joy.
 The Onion (Website) / int_a2ff4e6f
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 The Onion (Website) / int_a32334b4
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Canon Discontinuity
 The Onion (Website) / int_a32334b4
comment
Canon Discontinuity: "Man's Life Riddled With Continuity Errors".
 The Onion (Website) / int_a32334b4
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 The Onion (Website) / int_a3a7c41
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Black Sheep
 The Onion (Website) / int_a3a7c41
comment
Black Sheep: "Everyone In Family Claims To Be The Black Sheep". In the last quote, the siblings' mother reassures them that this isn't the case, before mentioning that she felt that way among her siblings.
 The Onion (Website) / int_a3a7c41
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 The Onion (Website) / int_a43a691b
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Finishing Move
 The Onion (Website) / int_a43a691b
comment
Finishing Move: "NHL To Allow Finishing Moves In Fights This Season", with an obligatory Shout-Out to Mortal Kombat.
 The Onion (Website) / int_a43a691b
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Mood Whiplash
 The Onion (Website) / int_a4c37cbe
comment
Mood Whiplash: "New Bipartisan Law Would Make Dog Neckerchiefs Mandatory". Everyone gushes about how cute they all are, and then you get to paragraph 15: "As of press time, an estimated 800,000 dogs had been euthanized for failing to comply with the new law." "Person Who Will One Day Become Warlord-Ruler Of What Was Once Nebraska Born In Omaha Hospital" swings wildly between "D'awww, look at his cute widdle fingers" and "...which he will form into an iron fist and crush all who dare to oppose him". "U.S. Army Now Just Chasing Single Remaining ISIS Soldier Around Ruins Of Syrian Village": The article portrays the last remaining ISIS soldier as a whacky Looney Tunes-esque prankster, but ends with a sobering reminder of how many ISIS fighters are actually still at large.
 The Onion (Website) / int_a4c37cbe
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 The Onion (Website) / int_a4d189fc
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Marrying the Mark
 The Onion (Website) / int_a4d189fc
comment
Marrying the Mark: Parodied: Housewife Charged In Sex-For-Security Scam, where a woman marries a man in order to obtain food, lodging, and financial security in exchange for occasional sex for over 19 years.
 The Onion (Website) / int_a4d189fc
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Stealth Sequel
 The Onion (Website) / int_a4d8473b
comment
Stealth Sequel: "Francis Ford Coppola Reveals Every ‘Godfather’ Film Took Place In Same Narrative World"
 The Onion (Website) / int_a4d8473b
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 The Onion (Website) / int_a567f7f2
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I Want My Jet Pack
 The Onion (Website) / int_a567f7f2
comment
I Want My Jetpack: "I Thought We'd Have Flying Slaves By Now".
 The Onion (Website) / int_a567f7f2
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 The Onion (Website) / int_a60e3252
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Rule of Funny
 The Onion (Website) / int_a60e3252
comment
The world as a whole. In The Know's world has ghouls, robot overlords, baby skulls as jewelry... Rule of Funny produces some hilariously-horrific things.
 The Onion (Website) / int_a60e3252
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 The Onion (Website) / int_a68421bb
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Animated Adaptation
 The Onion (Website) / int_a68421bb
comment
Animated Adaptation: "Aaron Sorkin Announces New 'West Wing' Animated Series At SorCon".
 The Onion (Website) / int_a68421bb
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The Onion (Website) / int_a68421bb
 The Onion (Website) / int_a70223
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Karma Houdini
 The Onion (Website) / int_a70223
comment
Karma Houdini: Epic Saga Of Employee's Ineptitude Passed Down Through Generations Of Coworkers, shows how the employee in question still has his job despite his many mistakes. College Basketball Star Heroically Overcomes Tragic Rape He Committed. The basketball star in question doesn't suffer any consequences for drunkenly raping a girl, and everyone involved passes it off as a heroic accomplishment. Wealthy Teen Nearly Experiences Consequence. In it, the teen in question evades even the slap on the wrist proposed for him.
 The Onion (Website) / int_a70223
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 The Onion (Website) / int_a76de48b
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Troubled Production
 The Onion (Website) / int_a76de48b
comment
Troubled Production: "Terry Gilliam Barbecue Plagued By Production Delays".invoked
 The Onion (Website) / int_a76de48b
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 The Onion (Website) / int_a796d2a6
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Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy
 The Onion (Website) / int_a796d2a6
comment
Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy: "Winchester Unveils New 9MM Stray Bullet Guaranteed To Hit Innocent Bystanders"
 The Onion (Website) / int_a796d2a6
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 The Onion (Website) / int_a806691d
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Casanova Wannabe
 The Onion (Website) / int_a806691d
comment
Casanova Wannabe: How they portrayed U.S. Vice President Joe Biden until 2020.
 The Onion (Website) / int_a806691d
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The Onion (Website) / int_a806691d
 The Onion (Website) / int_a849183f
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Toilet Seat Divorce
 The Onion (Website) / int_a849183f
comment
Toilet Seat Divorce: Parodied in the Libra of this set of horoscopes.
 The Onion (Website) / int_a849183f
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 The Onion (Website) / int_a8559a9f
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RealLife
 The Onion (Website) / int_a8559a9f
comment
Real Life example: An article was used for the 2005 English Language and Composition Advanced Placement exam...meaning that there was actually something to analyze in that article.
 The Onion (Website) / int_a8559a9f
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 The Onion (Website) / int_a86069f
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Alternate History
 The Onion (Website) / int_a86069f
comment
Alternate History: A meta-example, in that the alternate history story is itself written in an alternate history universe (compare The Man in the High Castle, one of the oldest AH novels, which uses a similar premise with the in-story story The Grasshopper Lies Heavy) "Alternate-Universe Sci-Fi Channel Show Asks What Would Happen If Germany Lost War" In Our Dumb Century, some articles have traits of this, such as Archduke Franz Ferdinand showing up alive after World War I, Richard Nixon refusing to resign and going on a killing spree which leads to his being gunned down after an extensive manhunt, and the US not just losing The Vietnam War, but actually surrendering to them.
 The Onion (Website) / int_a86069f
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And I Must Scream
 The Onion (Website) / int_a8a04f6f
comment
And I Must Scream: "Study Finds Hearing Loved One's Voice Induces Excruciating Pain In Coma Patients"
 The Onion (Website) / int_a8a04f6f
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 The Onion (Website) / int_a9c0f93f
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Fun-Hating Confiscating Adult
 The Onion (Website) / int_a9c0f93f
comment
Fun-Hating Confiscating Adult: One column has Senator Tom Delay losing his temper with a group of teenagers playing frisbee on the Capitol lawn. Said frisbee flies through the window and disrupts an important meeting. Delay tells the teenagers that he's keeping the frisbee and that they can't do anything about this because he is very politically powerful. When he turns away from the window, a hacky sack flies into the room and hits him on the head. Delay tells the teenagers that the joke's on them because he won't return their hacky sack either.
 The Onion (Website) / int_a9c0f93f
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 The Onion (Website) / int_a9dc0c29
type
The Moral Substitute
 The Onion (Website) / int_a9dc0c29
comment
The Moral Substitute: This article explains that a West Virginia professor bans unreliable sources for papers. The first of them is The Onion, explaining that this is not news, but literally a parody. Then she explains the second source:
 The Onion (Website) / int_a9dc0c29
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 The Onion (Website) / int_a9dc5293
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Development Hell
 The Onion (Website) / int_a9dc5293
comment
Development Hell: In-Universe, "Script Has Been Floating Around Hollywood For 75 Years".
 The Onion (Website) / int_a9dc5293
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 The Onion (Website) / int_aaa1fa9
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Captain Space, Defender of Earth!
 The Onion (Website) / int_aaa1fa9
comment
Captain Space, Defender of Earth!: Crash Comet, Space Commander from the Year 2000, the recurring enemy of Evil Overlord columnist Gorzo the Mighty.
 The Onion (Website) / int_aaa1fa9
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 The Onion (Website) / int_aaece264
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Rousing Speech
 The Onion (Website) / int_aaece264
comment
Rousing Speech: Attempted in "Scrappy Band Of Lovable Misfits No Match For Rich Kids", but, like all the other tactics the kids use to save their camp, it fails.
 The Onion (Website) / int_aaece264
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 The Onion (Website) / int_aaff69d0
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Unexpected Successor
 The Onion (Website) / int_aaff69d0
comment
Unexpected Successor: "Last Remaining Politician Must Rebuild Entire Government Following Bloodiest Midterm Election In American History". "Secretary Of Interior Takes Presidential Oath Of Office: 'I Still Can't Believe The President, Vice President, Speaker Of The House, President Pro Tem, Sec. Of State, Sec. Of The Treasury, Sec. Of Defense, And Attorney General Were All In That Hot-Air Balloon,' Says New President Sally Jewell"
 The Onion (Website) / int_aaff69d0
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 The Onion (Website) / int_ab031997
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Underdogs Never Lose
 The Onion (Website) / int_ab031997
comment
Underdogs Never Lose: "Scrappy Band Of Lovable Misfits No Match For Rich Kids".
 The Onion (Website) / int_ab031997
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 The Onion (Website) / int_ab173426
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Ruthless Modern Pirates
 The Onion (Website) / int_ab173426
comment
Ruthless Modern Pirates: Fake political cartoonist Kelly did a panel about these at the end of October 2013, not long after the release of Captain Phillips...but it presents them in a positive light, labeling them "Today's Swashbucklers" for carrying on the tradition set by Blackbeard, Captain Jack Sparrow, and Captain Morgan, suggesting that all he knows about piracy then and now comes from romanticized fiction and/or Pop-Cultural Osmosis (Sir Henry Morgan is mostly known in the 2000s as the namesake of a brand of rum).
 The Onion (Website) / int_ab173426
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 The Onion (Website) / int_abc60c5d
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Harmful to Minors
 The Onion (Website) / int_abc60c5d
comment
Harmful to Minors: "U.S. Children Still Traumatized One Year After Seeing Partially-Exposed Breast On TV".
 The Onion (Website) / int_abc60c5d
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 The Onion (Website) / int_ac1e30d8
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Red Scare
 The Onion (Website) / int_ac1e30d8
comment
Red Scare: "USSR Wins Space Race As U.S. Shuts Down Shuttle Program".
 The Onion (Website) / int_ac1e30d8
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 The Onion (Website) / int_ac344349
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Three-Month-Old Newborn
 The Onion (Website) / int_ac344349
comment
Three-Month-Old Newborn: "Woman on TV Gives Birth to Four-Month-Old Baby".
 The Onion (Website) / int_ac344349
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 The Onion (Website) / int_ac546cd4
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Worth It
 The Onion (Website) / int_ac546cd4
comment
Worth It: "Confused NASCAR Driver Denny Hamlin Runs Over 30 Golfers During Attempt To Win FedEx Cup"
 The Onion (Website) / int_ac546cd4
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 The Onion (Website) / int_ac9cac61
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Scare 'em Straight
 The Onion (Website) / int_ac9cac61
comment
Scare 'Em Straight: "Driver's Ed Class Finally Gets To See Legendary Safety Film". "Kids In Scared Straight Program Visit Horrifying Cleveland Cavaliers Practice".
 The Onion (Website) / int_ac9cac61
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 The Onion (Website) / int_acc861c
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Big Honking Traffic Jam
 The Onion (Website) / int_acc861c
comment
Big Honking Traffic Jam: "Tired Of Traffic? New DOT Report Urges Drivers: 'Honk'"
 The Onion (Website) / int_acc861c
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 The Onion (Website) / int_ae4b1ce1
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Caustic Critic
 The Onion (Website) / int_ae4b1ce1
comment
Caustic Critic: "Awful Man Offers Witty, Acerbic Take On Everything He Sees".
 The Onion (Website) / int_ae4b1ce1
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 The Onion (Website) / int_aebae11c
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Viewers Are Morons
 The Onion (Website) / int_aebae11c
comment
Viewers Are Morons: "Microsoft Word Now Includes Squiggly Blue Line To Alert Writer When Word Is Too Advanced For Mainstream Audience". "Onion Weather Center: We Dumb It Down The Best We Can For Our Viewers In The Deep South"
 The Onion (Website) / int_aebae11c
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 The Onion (Website) / int_af3ea0e3
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Face–Heel Turn
 The Onion (Website) / int_af3ea0e3
comment
Face–Heel Turn/Fallen Hero: "Lance Armstrong Admits Drug Use, Plans Return To Cycling As Flamboyant, Fan-Hating Villain"
 The Onion (Website) / int_af3ea0e3
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 The Onion (Website) / int_af4d6174
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Setting Update
 The Onion (Website) / int_af4d6174
comment
Setting Update: "Unconventional Director Sets Shakespeare Play In Time, Place Shakespeare Intended".
 The Onion (Website) / int_af4d6174
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 The Onion (Website) / int_afc52a86
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Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot
 The Onion (Website) / int_afc52a86
comment
Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot: "Hurriphoonado Cuts Swath Of Destruction Across Eastern, Western Hemispheres".
 The Onion (Website) / int_afc52a86
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 The Onion (Website) / int_afd181c7
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Xtreme Kool Letterz
 The Onion (Website) / int_afd181c7
comment
Xtreme Kool Letterz: "Alphabet Updated With 15 Exciting New Replacement Letters".
 The Onion (Website) / int_afd181c7
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 The Onion (Website) / int_afe98316
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Talkative Loon
 The Onion (Website) / int_afe98316
comment
Talkative Loon: "Raving Lunatic Obviously Took Some Advanced Physics".
 The Onion (Website) / int_afe98316
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 The Onion (Website) / int_aff1ee2e
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Small Reference Pools
 The Onion (Website) / int_aff1ee2e
comment
Small Reference Pools: "Area Man's Pop-Culture References Stop At 1988".
 The Onion (Website) / int_aff1ee2e
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 The Onion (Website) / int_aff1ee2e
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The Onion (Website) / int_aff1ee2e
 The Onion (Website) / int_b0fb2427
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Bread and Circuses
 The Onion (Website) / int_b0fb2427
comment
Bread and Circuses: "48 Syrian Civilians Massacred During Claire Danes' Emmy Award Acceptance Speech"
 The Onion (Website) / int_b0fb2427
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 The Onion (Website) / int_b11ac9f5
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Abusive Parents
 The Onion (Website) / int_b11ac9f5
comment
Abusive Parents: "Majority of Parents Abuse Children, Children Report" "Foster Mom Doesn't Pick Least Favorites'". "Father Apologizes for Taking Out Anger on Wrong Son"
 The Onion (Website) / int_b11ac9f5
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 The Onion (Website) / int_b1dde8fd
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Loophole Abuse
 The Onion (Website) / int_b1dde8fd
comment
Loophole Abuse: "Child Bankrupts Make-A-Wish Foundation with Wish for Unlimited Wishes"
 The Onion (Website) / int_b1dde8fd
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 The Onion (Website) / int_b21ddb6b
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Content Warnings
 The Onion (Website) / int_b21ddb6b
comment
Content Warnings: "Teen Exposed To Violence, Profanity, Adult Situations By Family".
 The Onion (Website) / int_b21ddb6b
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 The Onion (Website) / int_b2ad812d
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So What Do We Do Now?
 The Onion (Website) / int_b2ad812d
comment
So What Do We Do Now?: Voice Inside Cheering Libyan Rebel's Head: 'Oh, Fuck, Now What?'".
 The Onion (Website) / int_b2ad812d
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The Onion (Website) / int_b2ad812d
 The Onion (Website) / int_b3860333
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Droste Image
 The Onion (Website) / int_b3860333
comment
Droste Image: "Area Article Nauseous From Constant Scrolling" features the titular article as the picture.
 The Onion (Website) / int_b3860333
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The Onion (Website) / int_b3860333
 The Onion (Website) / int_b427f328
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Hand Puppet
 The Onion (Website) / int_b427f328
comment
Hand Puppet: "Local Puppet Ignores Repeated Audience Dragon Warnings".
 The Onion (Website) / int_b427f328
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The Onion (Website) / int_b427f328
 The Onion (Website) / int_b43dfc8d
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Your Days Are Numbered
 The Onion (Website) / int_b43dfc8d
comment
Your Days Are Numbered: "Malignant Tumor Sees Every Day As Gift From God"
 The Onion (Website) / int_b43dfc8d
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 The Onion (Website) / int_b47d95be
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No OSHA Compliance
 The Onion (Website) / int_b47d95be
comment
No OSHA Compliance: "U.N. Orders Willy Wonka To Submit To Chocolate Factory Inspections" "NASCAR To Discontinue Having Kids Rush Onto Track To Wipe Up Skid Marks During Races" "Video Game Characters Denounce Randomly Placed Swinging Blades"
 The Onion (Website) / int_b47d95be
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 The Onion (Website) / int_b48eb5fe
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Parody Product Placement
 The Onion (Website) / int_b48eb5fe
comment
Parody Product Placement: "Spider-Man Distracts Dr. Octopus With Delicious Hostess Fruit Pies"
 The Onion (Website) / int_b48eb5fe
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The Onion (Website) / int_b48eb5fe
 The Onion (Website) / int_b4eff8a8
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Epic Fail
 The Onion (Website) / int_b4eff8a8
comment
Epic Fail: "O-SPAN Classic: CIA Accidentally Overthrows Costa Rica"
 The Onion (Website) / int_b4eff8a8
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 The Onion (Website) / int_b53077b3
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Take That!
 The Onion (Website) / int_b53077b3
comment
Take That!: Against Rush Limbaugh, with "I Don't Even Want to Be Alive Anymore". The closing months of 2008 saw weekly stories about outgoing President George W. Bush getting increasingly-bizarre and horrendous injuries. "Congress Honors 9/11 First Capitalizers, Recognizes Those Who Rushed To Cash In On Tragedy" Today Now interviews the 5-year-old screenwriter of Fast Five. "New Cheney Memoir Reveals He's Going To Live Full, Satisfied Life Without Ever Feeling Remorse And There's Nothing We Can Do About It". "Victim In Fatal Car Accident Tragically Not Glenn Beck". Against Oprah Winfrey: "I Just Want To Say That I Hated Every Moment Of That Piece-Of-Shit Show". Against Rep. Todd Akin: "I Misspoke—What I Meant To Say Is 'I Am Dumb As Dog Shit And I Am A Terrible Human Being'" In response to the Lance Armstrong doping controversy, The Onion Store is proud to offer the "Cheat to Win" bracelet. Making fun of Chicago's murder rate spikes since 2011: "Hot New 'Murder Craze' Sweeps Chicago" "Chicago's Annual Homicide Drive Off To Most Promising Start In Decades" Towards Facebook: "Mark Zuckerberg Recalls Coming Up With Idea For Facebook After Seeing Dopamine-Addicted Lab Rat Starve To Death" "Mark Zuckerberg Defends Decision To Fly Confederate Flag At Facebook Headquarters" "Creepy Weirdo Still Stalking You On Facebook" From the point of view of Mark Zuckerberg's daughter: "Daddy, I Don't Want To Live In The World Your Website Has Created"
 The Onion (Website) / int_b53077b3
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 The Onion (Website) / int_b532f68b
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Everybody Has Lots of Sex
 The Onion (Website) / int_b532f68b
comment
Everybody Has Lots of Sex: "BYU Students Protest Brandon Davies' Dismissal By Having Sex All Over Campus" "Olympic Village Tour: See Where The Athletes Live, Train And Fuck Each Other's Brains Out" (NSFW).
 The Onion (Website) / int_b532f68b
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 The Onion (Website) / int_b58b4e3c
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Too Dumb to Live
 The Onion (Website) / int_b58b4e3c
comment
Too Dumb to Live: "Looking Back On My Life, I Guess My Biggest Regret Is Trying To Fight That Alligator 5 Minutes Ago". "Fun Toy Banned Because of Three Stupid Dead Kids." One boy fires a missile up his nose, another girl breaks the toy to eat the shards, and another boy jumps off his apartment's balcony, thinking the toy will let him fly.
 The Onion (Website) / int_b58b4e3c
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 The Onion (Website) / int_b5b4dd4e
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The Man
 The Onion (Website) / int_b5b4dd4e
comment
The Man: "The ONION's 1997 Man Of The Year".
 The Onion (Website) / int_b5b4dd4e
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 The Onion (Website) / int_b6ae5569
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Transforming Mecha
 The Onion (Website) / int_b6ae5569
comment
Transforming Mecha: "Kim Jong Il Unfolds Into Giant Robot".
 The Onion (Website) / int_b6ae5569
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The Onion (Website) / int_b6ae5569
 The Onion (Website) / int_b6cc7fc0
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Dysfunctional Family
 The Onion (Website) / int_b6cc7fc0
comment
Dysfunctional Family: Pretty much the whole point of Jean Teasdale's regular column, and strongly implied in Roger Dudek's, whose wife has grown to hate him and his jovial, neglectful stupidity ever since their third child was stillborn.
 The Onion (Website) / int_b6cc7fc0
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 The Onion (Website) / int_b6de94d1
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Executive Meddling
 The Onion (Website) / int_b6de94d1
comment
Executive Meddling: In-Universe, "Network Executive Cancels Show After Ruining It In Development".
 The Onion (Website) / int_b6de94d1
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The Onion (Website) / int_b6de94d1
 The Onion (Website) / int_b707726f
type
Hypocritical Humor
 The Onion (Website) / int_b707726f
comment
Hypocritical Humor: "Female Scientists Say Domestic Abuse Not Problem, Says Team of Female Researchers Who All Recently Sustained Injuries Due to Various Accidents" "Elmore Leonard, Modern Prose Master, Noted For His Terse Prose Style And For Writing About Things Perfectly And Succinctly With A Remarkable Economy Of Words, Unfortunately And Sadly Expired This Gloomy Tuesday At The Age Of 87 Years Old" "Second-Grade Teacher Overhyping Third Grade" ends with the third-grade teacher criticizing the second-grade teacher for exaggerating how difficult/fun third grade will be, before saying that she has to prepare her students for "the really hard stuff in fourth grade."
 The Onion (Website) / int_b707726f
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The Onion (Website) / int_b707726f
 The Onion (Website) / int_b70ea2b9
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Seize Them!
 The Onion (Website) / int_b70ea2b9
comment
Seize Them!: "Seize Him!" (Which also includes a bunch of other tropes expected in this scene: the Evil Overlord, Just Between You and Me, You Have No Chance to Survive, Agony Beam, Surrounded by Idiots, etc.)
 The Onion (Website) / int_b70ea2b9
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 The Onion (Website) / int_b7475a74
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Bothering by the Book
 The Onion (Website) / int_b7475a74
comment
Bothering by the Book: "Regulation Spitefully Obeyed To The Letter".
 The Onion (Website) / int_b7475a74
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 The Onion (Website) / int_b7475a74
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The Onion (Website) / int_b7475a74
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 The Onion (Website) / int_b77808f2
comment
"Where Are They Now?" Epilogue: "Huffington Post Completes 63 Million Page 'Where Are They Now' Slideshow Of Every Celebrity Ever"
 The Onion (Website) / int_b77808f2
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_b77808f2
 The Onion (Website) / int_b7d2dbed
type
Tonight, Someone Dies
 The Onion (Website) / int_b7d2dbed
comment
Tonight, Someone Dies: "Disney Trailer Teases Exit Of Major Character In Upcoming Film ‘Death At Pooh Corner’"
 The Onion (Website) / int_b7d2dbed
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1.0
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 The Onion (Website) / int_b7e74b77
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Five-Token Band
 The Onion (Website) / int_b7e74b77
comment
Five-Token Band: "Graphic Artist Carefully Assigns Ethnicities To Anthropomorphic Recyclables".
 The Onion (Website) / int_b7e74b77
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_b7e74b77
 The Onion (Website) / int_b887455f
type
Americans Hate Tingle
 The Onion (Website) / int_b887455f
comment
Americans Hate Tingle:invoked "Soccer Officially Announces It Is Gay". In the Onion Sports Network's main page, if you look at the list of sports categories, "Soccer" is lumped in the same category as "Women's Sports". "Suffering Cleveland Bans All Professional Sports".
 The Onion (Website) / int_b887455f
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The Onion (Website) / int_b887455f
 The Onion (Website) / int_b8dde2
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Evil Overlord
 The Onion (Website) / int_b8dde2
comment
Evil Overlord: Gorzo the Mighty, Emperor of the Universe since the 1930's.
 The Onion (Website) / int_b8dde2
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_b8dde2
 The Onion (Website) / int_ba236071
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It Makes Sense in Context
 The Onion (Website) / int_ba236071
comment
When the print versions need to fill a small space, they put in a small article with nothing but the repeated phrase "Passersby were amazed by the unusually-large amounts of blood." (which also appears in context during "Blood...Blood Everywhere"). In Ad Nauseam, these instances are accompanied by completely off-the-wall "quotes" like "I'm thinking about getting into self-mutilation" or "Congress must be so stoned to come up with all those cool laws.'
 The Onion (Website) / int_ba236071
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 The Onion (Website) / int_babc974
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Sadistic Choice
 The Onion (Website) / int_babc974
comment
Sadistic Choice: "So, What's It Going To Be?"
 The Onion (Website) / int_babc974
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_babc974
 The Onion (Website) / int_bac9f95d
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Sweet Tooth
 The Onion (Website) / int_bac9f95d
comment
Sweet Tooth: Deconstructed with Jean Teasdale. She often writes about her love of chocolate and homemade desserts with ludicrous amounts of sugar. Eventually, she develops type 2 diabetes.
 The Onion (Website) / int_bac9f95d
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The Onion (Website) / int_bac9f95d
 The Onion (Website) / int_bb18a227
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It's All About Me
 The Onion (Website) / int_bb18a227
comment
It's All About Me: "New Google Streep View To Provide Panoramic Imagery Of Meryl Streep" This is much of the gag with Kelly, in that his political views amount to "whatever is most convenient to me, personally." For instance, he is in favor of the bird population crisis, because that way birds don't poop on him.
 The Onion (Website) / int_bb18a227
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The Onion (Website) / int_bb18a227
 The Onion (Website) / int_bb3224b3
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Best Years of Your Life
 The Onion (Website) / int_bb3224b3
comment
Best Years of Your Life: "Best Years Of Man's Life Apparently Never Going to Happen" brutally mocks this trope.
 The Onion (Website) / int_bb3224b3
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_bb3224b3
 The Onion (Website) / int_bbd8d3f4
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Adventurer Archaeologist
 The Onion (Website) / int_bbd8d3f4
comment
Adventurer Archaeologist: "Archaeologist Tired of Unearthing Unspeakable Ancient Evils".
 The Onion (Website) / int_bbd8d3f4
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1.0
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_bbd8d3f4
 The Onion (Website) / int_bc00493f
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Precision F-Strike
 The Onion (Website) / int_bc00493f
comment
Precision F-Strike: "Playboy Centerfold Has Big Dreams, Tits".
 The Onion (Website) / int_bc00493f
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_bc00493f
 The Onion (Website) / int_bc97c4e5
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Everyone Is Gay
 The Onion (Website) / int_bc97c4e5
comment
Everyone Is Gay: "Jack Nicholson, Leonardo DiCaprio, Tom Hanks, Denzel Washington, And Daniel Day-Lewis Come Out As Gay".
 The Onion (Website) / int_bc97c4e5
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_bc97c4e5
 The Onion (Website) / int_bcd27e37
type
Improbable Aiming Skills
 The Onion (Website) / int_bcd27e37
comment
Improbable Aiming Skills: "Nationals Book It After Foul Ball Accidentally Smashes Capitol Rotunda"
 The Onion (Website) / int_bcd27e37
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_bcd27e37
 The Onion (Website) / int_bd5ddcc4
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Banister Slide
 The Onion (Website) / int_bd5ddcc4
comment
Banister Slide: "Home Inspector Warns That House Lacks Banister You Can Slide All The Way Down".
 The Onion (Website) / int_bd5ddcc4
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_bd5ddcc4
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_bd5ddcc4
 The Onion (Website) / int_bd8aa92a
type
Negative Continuity
 The Onion (Website) / int_bd8aa92a
comment
Negative Continuity: For example, they made this article where the Supreme Court legalizes gay marriage. The very next day they ran an article saying the Court voted unanimously to uphold the Defense of Marriage Act.
 The Onion (Website) / int_bd8aa92a
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1.0
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_bd8aa92a
 The Onion (Website) / int_be1472cc
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[Trope Name]
 The Onion (Website) / int_be1472cc
comment
[Trope Name]: Used in perhaps the most spot-on parody of 24-hour cable news ever, "Breaking News: Some Bullshit Happening Somewhere".
 The Onion (Website) / int_be1472cc
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1.0
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_be1472cc
 The Onion (Website) / int_be60241
type
Fingerless Gloves
 The Onion (Website) / int_be60241
comment
Fingerless Gloves: "Badass Surgeon Puts On Fingerless Latex Gloves Before Operating"
 The Onion (Website) / int_be60241
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_be60241
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_be60241
 The Onion (Website) / int_be8f3491
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The Theme Park Version
 The Onion (Website) / int_be8f3491
comment
The Theme Park Version: "Yellowstone National Park Concerned About Competing 'Yello-Stone Natural Park' Built Right Across Street"
 The Onion (Website) / int_be8f3491
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1.0
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_be8f3491
 The Onion (Website) / int_bee9473c
type
The Magazine Rule
 The Onion (Website) / int_bee9473c
comment
The Magazine Rule: "Star Wars Gamer Magazine Boldly Claims To Be The Leading Magazine For Star Wars Gamers". "New Pompous Asshole Magazine To Compete With Cigar Aficionado". "New Demography Today Magazine Targets Demographer Demographic". "Rat Fancy Magazine Fails To Catch On".
 The Onion (Website) / int_bee9473c
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_bee9473c
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_bee9473c
 The Onion (Website) / int_bef696dd
type
Mind Screw
 The Onion (Website) / int_bef696dd
comment
Mind Screw: "Obama's Weekly Video Addresses Becoming Increasingly Avant-Garde".
 The Onion (Website) / int_bef696dd
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_bef696dd
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_bef696dd
 The Onion (Website) / int_bf1255fa
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Really Gets Around
 The Onion (Website) / int_bf1255fa
comment
Really Gets Around: "Town's Teen Pregnancy Spike Due To One Impressive Youth".
 The Onion (Website) / int_bf1255fa
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1.0
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_bf1255fa
 The Onion (Website) / int_bf3d0873
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Where Everybody Knows Your Flame
 The Onion (Website) / int_bf3d0873
comment
Where Everybody Knows Your Flame: "Local Bar Comes Out As Gay".
 The Onion (Website) / int_bf3d0873
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1.0
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_bf3d0873
 The Onion (Website) / int_bf698238
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When All You Have Is a Hammer...
 The Onion (Website) / int_bf698238
comment
When All You Have Is a Hammer...: "If I Had One Piece Of Advice For Today's Youth, It Would Be To Throw A Baseball Really, Really Well".
 The Onion (Website) / int_bf698238
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_bf698238
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_bf698238
 The Onion (Website) / int_bf74d357
type
Ugly Guy, Hot Wife
 The Onion (Website) / int_bf74d357
comment
Ugly Guy, Hot Wife: "Woman’s Parents Accepting Of Mixed-Attractiveness Relationship"
 The Onion (Website) / int_bf74d357
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_bf74d357
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_bf74d357
 The Onion (Website) / int_c086ab0e
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Buses Are for Freaks
 The Onion (Website) / int_c086ab0e
comment
Buses Are for Freaks: "30 Miserable Lives Lost in Greyhound Bus Crash"
 The Onion (Website) / int_c086ab0e
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_c086ab0e
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The Onion (Website) / int_c086ab0e
 The Onion (Website) / int_c132c0c5
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I Have No Son!
 The Onion (Website) / int_c132c0c5
comment
I Have No Son!: "DEA Official Announces Successful Drug Bust On Son's Room". The official doesn't quite say the words, but he never refers to the suspect as his son.
 The Onion (Website) / int_c132c0c5
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_c132c0c5
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_c132c0c5
 The Onion (Website) / int_c19bdbe1
type
Good Cop/Bad Cop
 The Onion (Website) / int_c19bdbe1
comment
Good Cop/Bad Cop: "Good Cop, Avid-Stamp-Collector Cop Routine Not Working". "Good Cop, Bad Cop Both Racist".
 The Onion (Website) / int_c19bdbe1
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_c19bdbe1
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_c19bdbe1
 The Onion (Website) / int_c2676b00
type
Jurisdiction Friction
 The Onion (Website) / int_c2676b00
comment
Jurisdiction Friction: "Local Authorities More Than Happy To Let FBI Take Over"
 The Onion (Website) / int_c2676b00
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_c2676b00
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_c2676b00
 The Onion (Website) / int_c28f97b8
type
Indian Burial Ground
 The Onion (Website) / int_c28f97b8
comment
Indian Burial Ground: "Economy Failing Because U.S. Built On Ancient Indian Burial Grounds"
 The Onion (Website) / int_c28f97b8
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_c28f97b8
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_c28f97b8
 The Onion (Website) / int_c2c15b23
type
Bait-and-Switch Comment
 The Onion (Website) / int_c2c15b23
comment
Bait-and-Switch Comment: Several horoscopes are like this.
 The Onion (Website) / int_c2c15b23
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_c2c15b23
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_c2c15b23
 The Onion (Website) / int_c2d07094
type
Blues
 The Onion (Website) / int_c2d07094
comment
Blues: Exemplified in the recurring character of supposedly legendary Mississippi Delta guitar player Willie "Skipbone" Jackson, who frequently engages in pointless Epic Rocking, sings about how his woman does him wrong, and brings sanctions against Yemen.
 The Onion (Website) / int_c2d07094
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_c2d07094
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_c2d07094
 The Onion (Website) / int_c312bb2d
type
Too Hot for TV
 The Onion (Website) / int_c312bb2d
comment
Too Hot for TV: "C-SPAN Releases 'Too Hot For C-SPAN!' Video".
 The Onion (Website) / int_c312bb2d
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_c312bb2d
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_c312bb2d
 The Onion (Website) / int_c325f125
type
Ho Yay
 The Onion (Website) / int_c325f125
comment
Ho Yay: invoked "World's Power Brokers Hold Annual Summit Where They Show Each Other Their Penises".
 The Onion (Website) / int_c325f125
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_c325f125
featureConfidence
1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_c325f125
 The Onion (Website) / int_c391447c
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God Is Flawed
 The Onion (Website) / int_c391447c
comment
God Is Flawed: "God Diagnosed With Bipolar Disorder".
 The Onion (Website) / int_c391447c
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_c391447c
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_c391447c
 The Onion (Website) / int_c3ca1064
type
Lowest Common Denominator
 The Onion (Website) / int_c3ca1064
comment
Lowest Common Denominator: In-Universe— "Pop Star's Single, 'Booty Wave', Most Likely Civilization's Downfall". "No One Admits To Singing, Writing, Producing Nation's No. 1 Song".
 The Onion (Website) / int_c3ca1064
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_c3ca1064
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_c3ca1064
 The Onion (Website) / int_c41668cd
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Needle in a Stack of Needles
 The Onion (Website) / int_c41668cd
comment
Needle in a Stack of Needles: "Thousands Of Girls Match Description Of Missing Sorority Sister"
 The Onion (Website) / int_c41668cd
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_c41668cd
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_c41668cd
 The Onion (Website) / int_c450b632
type
So Unfunny, It's Funny
 The Onion (Website) / int_c450b632
comment
So Unfunny, It's Funny: The entire point of Roger Dudek's "Write On The Funny!" Also present in Jean Teasdale's column (with lines like "Osama bin Laden should take a chocolate pill!") and some of the cartoons (when they're not full of Patriotic Fervor and You Can Panic Now). Kelly's political cartoons are this. Presumably.
 The Onion (Website) / int_c450b632
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_c450b632
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_c450b632
 The Onion (Website) / int_c47fed84
type
Waking Up at the Morgue
 The Onion (Website) / int_c47fed84
comment
Waking Up at the Morgue: "Nude Biden Wakes Up On Cold Slab In D.C. Morgue"
 The Onion (Website) / int_c47fed84
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_c47fed84
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_c47fed84
 The Onion (Website) / int_c4d293c4
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Let's See YOU Do Better!
 The Onion (Website) / int_c4d293c4
comment
Let's See YOU Do Better!: "'Well, You Try To Reconstruct Iraq,' Says U.S. Defensive Dept."
 The Onion (Website) / int_c4d293c4
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_c4d293c4
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_c4d293c4
 The Onion (Website) / int_c547cd6d
type
Bulletproof Vest
 The Onion (Website) / int_c547cd6d
comment
Bulletproof Vest: "Nation Demands More Movies Where Guy Reveals He Was Wearing Bulletproof Vest"
 The Onion (Website) / int_c547cd6d
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_c547cd6d
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_c547cd6d
 The Onion (Website) / int_c59cfa2e
type
Felony Misdemeanor
 The Onion (Website) / int_c59cfa2e
comment
Felony Misdemeanor: "USDA Official Takes Brave Stand Against Interstate Potato Pricing".
 The Onion (Website) / int_c59cfa2e
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_c59cfa2e
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_c59cfa2e
 The Onion (Website) / int_c69902e7
type
Church of Happyology
 The Onion (Website) / int_c69902e7
comment
Church of Happyology: "Scientology Losing Ground To New Fictionology".
 The Onion (Website) / int_c69902e7
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_c69902e7
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_c69902e7
 The Onion (Website) / int_c75df49a
type
Shout-Out
 The Onion (Website) / int_c75df49a
comment
Shout-Out: Quite a few. Oddly, this early article mentions the three guys who were behind the direction of [adult swim]: Dave Willis, Keith Crofford, and Mike Lazzo. This article casts Rumsfeld as an Expy of M. Bison. This recent one casts the Supreme Court as being somewhat like the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers, with former Chief Justice John Marshall as a Zordon-style Oracular Head and a Robot Buddy named Amicus (much like Alpha 5/6).
 The Onion (Website) / int_c75df49a
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_c75df49a
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 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_c75df49a
 The Onion (Website) / int_c7d86fbe
type
Plausible Deniability
 The Onion (Website) / int_c7d86fbe
comment
Plausible Deniability: "Paul Ryan Announces New Congress Sexual Harassment Training Will Create Safe Work Atmosphere, Plausible Deniability"
 The Onion (Website) / int_c7d86fbe
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_c7d86fbe
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_c7d86fbe
 The Onion (Website) / int_c85198a2
type
Hype Aversion
 The Onion (Website) / int_c85198a2
comment
Hype Aversion: In-Universe, "New Apple Friend Bar Gives Customers Someone To Talk At About Mac Products"
 The Onion (Website) / int_c85198a2
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-1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_c85198a2
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_c85198a2
 The Onion (Website) / int_c8a8c595
type
Retirony
 The Onion (Website) / int_c8a8c595
comment
Retirony/ Married to the Job: "Tom Coughlin Retires From Family To Spend More Time With Team"
 The Onion (Website) / int_c8a8c595
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_c8a8c595
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_c8a8c595
 The Onion (Website) / int_c9597a03
type
Self-Deprecation
 The Onion (Website) / int_c9597a03
comment
Self-Deprecation: "New Study Finds 'The Onion' Has Never Been More Popular, More Beloved, Or More Respected", written in the wake of the backlash towards their Quvenzhane Wallis insult. Website's Built-In Search Engine Just Pathetic nearly always turns up when using the site's search feature, no matter what terms are put in. In-Universe with Self-Deprecating Man Just Scratching Surface Of How Pathetic He Actually Is "Clear From Stock Music That Video Never Meant To Be Watched With Sound On"
 The Onion (Website) / int_c9597a03
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_c9597a03
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_c9597a03
 The Onion (Website) / int_c9869c78
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I Know Madden Kombat
 The Onion (Website) / int_c9869c78
comment
I Know Madden Kombat: "LBJ Deploys Green Bay Packers to Vietnam".
 The Onion (Website) / int_c9869c78
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_c9869c78
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_c9869c78
 The Onion (Website) / int_ca14fa2b
type
Music Is Politics
 The Onion (Website) / int_ca14fa2b
comment
Music Is Politics: "Song Banged Out In Half Hour By Professional Songwriters To Define Teenager’s Personality For Next Two Years".
 The Onion (Website) / int_ca14fa2b
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_ca14fa2b
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_ca14fa2b
 The Onion (Website) / int_ca22ca46
type
Madwoman in the Attic
 The Onion (Website) / int_ca22ca46
comment
Madwoman in the Attic: LAPD Discovers Hidden Deformed Olsen Triplet
 The Onion (Website) / int_ca22ca46
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_ca22ca46
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_ca22ca46
 The Onion (Website) / int_ca87e3ec
type
No Name Given
 The Onion (Website) / int_ca87e3ec
comment
Ambiguously used in the similar sports feature Fan on the Street, which always shows the same three photos with no names or occupations given. Lampshaded here.
 The Onion (Website) / int_ca87e3ec
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_ca87e3ec
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_ca87e3ec
 The Onion (Website) / int_cadbbc64
type
Bankruptcy Barrel
 The Onion (Website) / int_cadbbc64
comment
Bankruptcy Barrel: "Why Am I The Only Homeless Man Still Wearing Pickle Barrels?"
 The Onion (Website) / int_cadbbc64
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_cadbbc64
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_cadbbc64
 The Onion (Website) / int_cb4c72d8
type
Rerouted from Heaven
 The Onion (Website) / int_cb4c72d8
comment
Rerouted from Heaven: "Mother Teresa Sent to Hell in Wacky Afterlife Mix-Up".
 The Onion (Website) / int_cb4c72d8
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_cb4c72d8
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_cb4c72d8
 The Onion (Website) / int_cb643ebb
type
Everything's Deader with Zombies
 The Onion (Website) / int_cb643ebb
comment
Everything's Deader with Zombies "Zombie Reagan Raised From Grave To Lead GOP" Brain Food: "Zombie Nutritionist Recommends All-Brain Diet". Zombie Apocalypse: "Study Reveals Pittsburgh Unprepared For Full-Scale Zombie Attack". "Low Voter Turnout Blamed On Election-Day Zombie Attacks".
 The Onion (Website) / int_cb643ebb
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_cb643ebb
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_cb643ebb
 The Onion (Website) / int_cbe687ab
type
Corrupt Corporate Executive
 The Onion (Website) / int_cbe687ab
comment
Corrupt Corporate Executive: "'Layoffs Are Necessary If We Want To Keep The Lights On,' Says CEO Halfway Through Tasting Menu"
 The Onion (Website) / int_cbe687ab
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_cbe687ab
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_cbe687ab
 The Onion (Website) / int_cda501da
type
Killed Off for Real
 The Onion (Website) / int_cda501da
comment
Killed Off for Real: Herbert Kornfeld. Averted with Doc and Kenny, who came back a couple months later with their heads wrapped in bloody bandages.
 The Onion (Website) / int_cda501da
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-1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_cda501da
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_cda501da
 The Onion (Website) / int_cdd835ce
type
Dude, Not Funny!
 The Onion (Website) / int_cdd835ce
comment
Dude, Not Funny!: In-Universe, "Circus Train Wreck Not Funny, Investigators Emphasize"
 The Onion (Website) / int_cdd835ce
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_cdd835ce
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_cdd835ce
 The Onion (Website) / int_cde840c1
type
Pro Wrestling Is Real
 The Onion (Website) / int_cde840c1
comment
Pro Wrestling Is Real: Inverted. It's the fans that are fake, not necessarily the wrestlers.
 The Onion (Website) / int_cde840c1
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_cde840c1
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_cde840c1
 The Onion (Website) / int_ce6555f0
type
Lighter and Softer
 The Onion (Website) / int_ce6555f0
comment
Lighter and Softer: "New David Simon Project To Investigate Happy, Upper-Middle-Class Streets Of Wilmette, Illinois."
 The Onion (Website) / int_ce6555f0
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_ce6555f0
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_ce6555f0
 The Onion (Website) / int_d148b019
type
Mundane Made Awesome
 The Onion (Website) / int_d148b019
comment
Mundane Made Awesome / Calling Your Attacks: "Excited Red Sox Fans Eagerly Await Debut Of Matsuzaka's 'Ultimate Galactic Dragon Gyroball Pitch Power Explosion'", complete with an "Over Nine Thousand" reference. "Police Seize More Than $50 In Wire From Nation's Wealthiest Crystal Meth Dealer". "Yard Sign With Candidate's Name On It Electrifies Congressional Race". "Les Misérables Takes Home Oscar For Most Sound" "Ceiling Fan Transforms Apartment Without Air Conditioning Into Frosty Wonderland" "DEA Official Announces Successful Drug Bust On Son's Room" "Special Boy With Freakishly Large Brain Wins Spelling Bee", in which the hosts of Today Now! treat a child with an above-average ability like an autistic savant. "Opium-Inspired Ad Executive Composes Epic Tums Jingle"
 The Onion (Website) / int_d148b019
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_d148b019
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_d148b019
 The Onion (Website) / int_d20b3e5d
type
First Contact Math
 The Onion (Website) / int_d20b3e5d
comment
First Contact Math: "Earth Contacted By Extraterrestrial Nerds".
 The Onion (Website) / int_d20b3e5d
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_d20b3e5d
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_d20b3e5d
 The Onion (Website) / int_d2566b32
type
Hunting the Most Dangerous Game
 The Onion (Website) / int_d2566b32
comment
Hunting the Most Dangerous Game: "Maverick Hunter's 'Human Beings As Prey' Plan Not As Challenging As Expected" is a deconstruction. The human prey wasn't conditioned to survive in the jungle, and died in ways the titular hunter didn't even consider was fathomable. "Lindsey Graham Cowers Behind Tree Trunk As Trump's Hunting Dogs Close In."
 The Onion (Website) / int_d2566b32
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_d2566b32
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_d2566b32
 The Onion (Website) / int_d259fea2
type
Speak Ill of the Dead
 The Onion (Website) / int_d259fea2
comment
Speak Ill of the Dead: In "Fun Toy Banned Because of Three Stupid Dead Kids."
 The Onion (Website) / int_d259fea2
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_d259fea2
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_d259fea2
 The Onion (Website) / int_d2b59903
type
Cool Old Lady
 The Onion (Website) / int_d2b59903
comment
Cool Old Lady: "Aunt Who’s Really Mom’s Friend Announces She Saw Inside Of Willie Nelson’s Bus Once"
 The Onion (Website) / int_d2b59903
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_d2b59903
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_d2b59903
 The Onion (Website) / int_d2c0e2ed
type
Schmuck Bait
 The Onion (Website) / int_d2c0e2ed
comment
Schmuck Bait: During Fact Zone's intro, if you pause at just the right time you'll see a TinyURL address. It leads to a Rickroll.
 The Onion (Website) / int_d2c0e2ed
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_d2c0e2ed
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_d2c0e2ed
 The Onion (Website) / int_d355ba37
type
Turned Against Their Masters
 The Onion (Website) / int_d355ba37
comment
Turned Against Their Masters: "‘I’m Afraid You Won’t Be Coming To Our New Headquarters,’ Declares Alexa As Amazon Execs Find Themselves Locked In Seattle Office"
 The Onion (Website) / int_d355ba37
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_d355ba37
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_d355ba37
 The Onion (Website) / int_d429d0f6
type
Canada, Eh?
 The Onion (Website) / int_d429d0f6
comment
Canada, Eh?: "Perky 'Canada' Has Own Government, Laws". From the cartoons, "The THREAT Across the OTHER Border".
 The Onion (Website) / int_d429d0f6
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_d429d0f6
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_d429d0f6
 The Onion (Website) / int_d45c0b86
type
Refuge in Audacity
 The Onion (Website) / int_d45c0b86
comment
Refuge in Audacity: "Mexico Killed In Drug Deal". "They Can Never Take Away My Memories", by Jerry Sandusky. "Arizona Man Steals Bush's Identity, Vetoes Bill, Meets With Mexican President"
 The Onion (Website) / int_d45c0b86
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_d45c0b86
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_d45c0b86
 The Onion (Website) / int_d4689f3
type
Sarcasm Failure
 The Onion (Website) / int_d4689f3
comment
Sarcasm Failure: "Muscleman Put In Charge Of World's Fifth-Largest Economy", filled with legit facts and news due to being so unbelievable at the time. Likewise, for the Mayweather/Pacquiao fight, The Onion wrote the technically completely accurate "Philippines Citizens Currently Watching Their Congressman Fight A Guy On TV" The more serious version of this trope, pertaining to American healthcare, could be found in "Tips For Not Condemning Millions Of Americans To Sickness And Death", notable for the usual irreverence being absent.
 The Onion (Website) / int_d4689f3
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_d4689f3
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_d4689f3
 The Onion (Website) / int_d46ddfa2
type
CloudCuckooLander
 The Onion (Website) / int_d46ddfa2
comment
Part of Jean Teasdale's Cloud Cuckoolander act is her never accepting responsibility or blame for her faults, whether it's getting firednote She got caught using eBay — on the boss's computer, no less — and remains convinced that the boss just hated her or her poor sense of humornote A friend declines to use Jean's jokes in a stand-up act because they're pithy and toothless, but Jean thinks the friend was threatened by the idea of a superior comic. When a local magazine calls her article out for being garbage, she insists that they don't know what they're talking about — while doing everything that they said makes her articles garbage.
 The Onion (Website) / int_d46ddfa2
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_d46ddfa2
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_d46ddfa2
 The Onion (Website) / int_d4fc9734
type
Salt the Earth
 The Onion (Website) / int_d4fc9734
comment
Salt the Earth: "Snuggle Marketers Kill Off 18-34 Demographic Rather Than Let It Fall Into Hands Of Competitor"
 The Onion (Website) / int_d4fc9734
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_d4fc9734
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_d4fc9734
 The Onion (Website) / int_d5dec29e
type
It's Popular, Now It Sucks!
 The Onion (Website) / int_d5dec29e
comment
It's Popular, Now It Sucks!: In-Universe, "Trekkies Bash New 'Star Trek' Film As 'Fun, Watchable'".
 The Onion (Website) / int_d5dec29e
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_d5dec29e
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_d5dec29e
 The Onion (Website) / int_d645fcd
type
You Make Me Sic
 The Onion (Website) / int_d645fcd
comment
You Make Me Sic: "Nation's Educators Alarmed By Poorly-Written Teen Suicide Notes".
 The Onion (Website) / int_d645fcd
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_d645fcd
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_d645fcd
 The Onion (Website) / int_d72164e9
type
Must Have Nicotine
 The Onion (Website) / int_d72164e9
comment
Must Have Nicotine: "Smoking Now Permitted Only In Special Room In Iowa".
 The Onion (Website) / int_d72164e9
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_d72164e9
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_d72164e9
 The Onion (Website) / int_d739e2c2
type
Exponential Plot Delay
 The Onion (Website) / int_d739e2c2
comment
Exponential Plot Delay: "Final Minutes Of Last Harry Potter Movie To Be Split Into Seven Separate Films".
 The Onion (Website) / int_d739e2c2
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_d739e2c2
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_d739e2c2
 The Onion (Website) / int_d7531233
type
You Need a Breath Mint
 The Onion (Website) / int_d7531233
comment
You Need a Breath Mint: "U.S. Breath Reaches All-Time Worst"
 The Onion (Website) / int_d7531233
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_d7531233
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_d7531233
 The Onion (Website) / int_d80fb43b
type
Murder Simulators
 The Onion (Website) / int_d80fb43b
comment
Murder Simulators: "Video-Game Violence Blamed In Giant-Robot Shooting Spree". "Study Finds Cable-TV Violence Leads To Network-TV Violence".
 The Onion (Website) / int_d80fb43b
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_d80fb43b
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_d80fb43b
 The Onion (Website) / int_d94ff9b3
type
Wall of Text
 The Onion (Website) / int_d94ff9b3
comment
Wall of Text: "Nation Shudders At Large Block Of Uninterrupted Text". "Frustrated Obama Sends Nation Rambling 75,000-Word E-Mail".
 The Onion (Website) / int_d94ff9b3
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_d94ff9b3
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_d94ff9b3
 The Onion (Website) / int_d986d0ed
type
Evil Only Has to Win Once
 The Onion (Website) / int_d986d0ed
comment
Evil Only Has to Win Once: "USSR Wins Space Race As U.S. Shuts Down Shuttle Program".
 The Onion (Website) / int_d986d0ed
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_d986d0ed
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_d986d0ed
 The Onion (Website) / int_d9baff40
type
Spexico
 The Onion (Website) / int_d9baff40
comment
Spexico: "Restaurant Turns Out To Be Spanish, Not Mexican".
 The Onion (Website) / int_d9baff40
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_d9baff40
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_d9baff40
 The Onion (Website) / int_d9cf40fa
type
Screw This, I'm Outta Here!
 The Onion (Website) / int_d9cf40fa
comment
Screw This, I'm Outta Here!: "U.S. Troops Draw Up Own Exit Strategy". Health Experts Recommend Standing Up At Desk, Leaving Office, Never Coming Back
 The Onion (Website) / int_d9cf40fa
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_d9cf40fa
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_d9cf40fa
 The Onion (Website) / int_da41243d
type
Spoiler
 The Onion (Website) / int_da41243d
comment
Spoiler: In-Universe, "Final Harry Potter Book Blasted For Containing Spoilers".
 The Onion (Website) / int_da41243d
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_da41243d
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_da41243d
 The Onion (Website) / int_daa33a93
type
Wealthy Yacht Owner
 The Onion (Website) / int_daa33a93
comment
Wealthy Yacht Owner: "Rising Income Inequality Causing Wealthy Americans To Take On Second Sailboat" Also, "Rich Guy Wins Yacht Race".
 The Onion (Website) / int_daa33a93
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_daa33a93
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_daa33a93
 The Onion (Website) / int_db2f3581
type
All Girls Want Bad Boys
 The Onion (Website) / int_db2f3581
comment
All Girls Want Bad Boys: "Irrepressible Bad Boy Slays Seven". Parodied to the point where it crosses over into Screw the Rules, I'm Beautiful!. The bad boy in question is a sadistic, sociopathic mass murderer, yet the media still swoons over him because he's a handsome film star.
 The Onion (Website) / int_db2f3581
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_db2f3581
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_db2f3581
 The Onion (Website) / int_dc1761bd
type
A God Am I
 The Onion (Website) / int_dc1761bd
comment
Another example of this is combined with A God Am I: A Jerk Jock shooting innocent students and having killed animals for fun and written a manifesto about him skinning a classmate and wearing it as a pelt.
 The Onion (Website) / int_dc1761bd
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_dc1761bd
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_dc1761bd
 The Onion (Website) / int_dcddee8
type
Archive Binge
 The Onion (Website) / int_dcddee8
comment
Archive Binge: In-Universe, "New Netflix Gas Lets Users Inhale Multiple Seasons Of TV Shows"
 The Onion (Website) / int_dcddee8
featureApplicability
1.0