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The Onion (Website)

 The Onion (Website)
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 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website)
 The Onion (Website)
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TheOnion
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion is a satirical newspaper devoted to all aspects of American life and culture, frequently parodying tropes mentioned on This Very Wiki. It started in 1988 as a print newspaper by a pair of students at the University of Wisconsin, and originally distributed in Madison and Milwaukee. It has since branched off into the Internet, including video clips supposedly originating from the Onion News Network. Its final print edition was published in December 2013, but the website has carried on.The Onion also has an entertainment/pop culture newspaper and website called the AV Club, which features pop culture news, reviews of almost every form of media (TV, albums, books, etc.) and interviews presented in a humorous but factual tone. The site's head writer was Nathan Rabin until 2013. The AV Club maintains a separate identity and has very little (if anything) in common with The Onion, mostly to avoid people mistakenly thinking that the AV Club presents fake news like The Onion.The Onion has in the past extended into a movie (critically derided, even by its own AV Club), and most recently two TV series — OSN Sportsdome on Comedy Central and Onion News Network on IFC. In 2013, a pilot for Onion News Empire, a behind-the-scenes look at the ONN newsroom, was made for Amazon.com. (It wasn't picked up.) There have also been three original Onion books — Our Dumb Century, a history of the 20th century told through fake Onion front pages; Our Dumb World, a Hollywood Atlas filled with stereotypes and Black Comedy; and The Onion Book of Known Knowledge, a mock encyclopedia of all existing knowledge.In Summer 2012, the Onion's YouTube arm debuted Onion Digital Studios, producing parodies of non-news programming ranging from nature documentaries to reality television. In Summer 2014, the Onion launched another sister site, ClickHole, a Clickbait Gag parodying sites such as Buzzfeed, Upworthy, The Huffington Post, and Cracked, and in 2015, they launched StarWipe, a parody of celebrity tabloids like TMZ. StarWipe was discontinued in July 2016. In 2018, the Onion released the podcast A Very Fatal Murder, which parodies True Crime podcasts such as Serial.It's like a Transatlantic Equivalent of Private Eye (except decades younger, without the investigative journalism, and as a website) and similar to the later NJUZ and Newsbiscuit (which was created on the model "a British Onion"). Similarly, Ministry Of Harmony describes itself as "The Onion for China". Two American-based sites are essentially twists on The Onion for different audiences — The Babylon Bee is essentially "The Onion for conservatives", while The Hard Times is "The Onion for punk rockers".There's also the satirical Venezuelan news blog El Chigüire Bipolar,note Spanish for "The Bipolar Capibara" which uses a similar, Onion-like format to lampoon the country's political situation, and Le Gorafinote the name is an inversion of Le Figaro, a rightwing newspaper, a French website created during the 2012 presidential campaign. And, last but not least, there's also the good old Uncyclopedia, which is to Wikipedia what The Onion is to journalism. As of 2019 there also exists a Stellaris version called Xenonion News created by fans of the game, similar to The Onion but set in a loosely connected Stellaris universe.The site can be found here.
 The Onion (Website)
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2024-03-09T10:47:44Z
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2024-03-09T10:47:44Z
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 The Onion (Website) / int_10021cbc
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Frozen Dinner of Loneliness
 The Onion (Website) / int_10021cbc
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Frozen Dinner of Loneliness: "Stouffers To Include Suicide Prevention Tips On Single Serve Microwavable Meals".
 The Onion (Website) / int_10021cbc
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Fan Dumb
 The Onion (Website) / int_10d8aa14
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Fan Dumb: In-Universe. "Jon Hamm To Overenthusiastic Fan: 'You're Ruining Me For Everyone'". "Why Don't They Make A Second 'Godfather' Movie?".
 The Onion (Website) / int_10d8aa14
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 The Onion (Website) / int_1235f055
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Dirty Coward
 The Onion (Website) / int_1235f055
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Dirty Coward: "Entire U.S. Police Force Flees Country After Hearing Gunman Inside Nation".
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No Celebrities Were Harmed
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No Celebrities Were Harmed: "Nation Once Again Comes Under Sway Of Pink-Faced Half-Wit".
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 The Onion (Website) / int_12b1f5f3
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No Such Thing as Bad Publicity
 The Onion (Website) / int_12b1f5f3
comment
No Such Thing as Bad Publicity: In-universe with "Bloomberg Campaign Raises Visibility By Pumping $5 Million Into #BloombergIsRacist Hashtag".
 The Onion (Website) / int_12b1f5f3
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The Onion (Website) / int_12b1f5f3
 The Onion (Website) / int_1328fd9d
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Parenting the Husband
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Parenting the Husband: "Area Girlfriend, Boyfriend Achieve Perfect Mother-Son Relationship".
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 The Onion (Website) / int_133f1c12
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The Spymaster
 The Onion (Website) / int_133f1c12
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Semi-regular columnist Dept. Head Rawlings makes frequent reference to "the Barcelona debacle" in his articles.
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My Friends... and Zoidberg
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My Friends... and Zoidberg: "Barbara Bush Passes Away Surrounded By Loved Ones, Jeb"
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 The Onion (Website) / int_1396b32c
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The Worm Guy
 The Onion (Website) / int_1396b32c
comment
The Worm Guy: "Expert Wasted Entire Life Studying Anteaters".
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 The Onion (Website) / int_143939c1
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Trailers Always Spoil
 The Onion (Website) / int_143939c1
comment
Trailers Always Spoil: "Man Hates It When Trailer Gives Away Entire Premise Of Movie".
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 The Onion (Website) / int_14beeefd
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Darker and Edgier
 The Onion (Website) / int_14beeefd
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Darker and Edgier: "Taylor Swift Unveils Even Darker Persona With New Single 'Skullfucking Maggot Shit Boyfriend'".
 The Onion (Website) / int_14beeefd
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 The Onion (Website) / int_14ed6ab7
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Does This Remind You of Anything?
 The Onion (Website) / int_14ed6ab7
comment
Does This Remind You of Anything?: Constantly; one is "Bush Refuses To Set Timetable For Withdrawal Of Head From White House Banister". "Gorilla Sales Skyrocket After Latest Gorilla Attack". "Hillary Clinton Quietly Asks Bill If He Still Finds Her Electable" is full of this too. "Creditors Repossess New England From Debt-Ridden U.S." "Alex DeLarge Forced To Step Down As Leader Of Droogs Amidst Allegations Of Sexual Misconduct".
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 The Onion (Website) / int_15184afb
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This Loser Is You
 The Onion (Website) / int_15184afb
comment
This Loser Is You: "Study: Women Always Answer Their Phones Unless They're Having Great Sex With Someone Else". "World's Lone Non-Telepathic Individual Still Completely Unaware". It just gets worse from the title; the illustration is just text reading, "The image of the non-telepath has already been psychically transmitted to all of humanity and thus does not need to reproduced here." "BREAKING: Authorities Currently Racing Down Highway To Arrest You For Crime You Didn't Commit– Run!" "Totally Unknown Guy Strolling Around Your Part Of Office For Some Reason". "Scientists Confirm First Case Of Zika Transmission From Article To Reader". "Breaking: The Onion Has Detected A Virus On Your Computer".
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 The Onion (Website) / int_1561fbc4
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Mystery Magnet
 The Onion (Website) / int_1561fbc4
comment
Mystery Magnet: "Two Dozen More Bodies Found In Lake Wobegon".
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 The Onion (Website) / int_16417501
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Perverse Sexual Lust
 The Onion (Website) / int_16417501
comment
Perverse Sexual Lust: "FCC Okays Nudity On TV If It's Alyson Hannigan"
 The Onion (Website) / int_16417501
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 The Onion (Website) / int_16df2fe7
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Meat-O-Vision
 The Onion (Website) / int_16df2fe7
comment
Meat-O-Vision: "Life-Raft Companion Looks Just Like Juicy Steak". "C.C. Sabathia, Prince Fielder Keep Imagining Each Other As Giant Talking Hot Dog, Hamburger".
 The Onion (Website) / int_16df2fe7
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 The Onion (Website) / int_17501df2
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Cool Old Guy
 The Onion (Website) / int_17501df2
comment
Some politicians are portrayed as leading lives completely different than what they actually do, i.e. Joe Biden (until 2020) was a party-hearty Cool Old Guy, while John Kerry tends to be right in the middle of an action movie.
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 The Onion (Website) / int_1779f10e
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"Well Done, Son" Guy
 The Onion (Website) / int_1779f10e
comment
"Well Done, Son" Guy: "Romney Spends Day Tearfully Apologizing At Father's Grave". "NASCAR Driver [Aric Almirola]'s Parents Pay For Congratulatory Message On Side Of Son's Car".
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 The Onion (Website) / int_1785a1ad
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Ferris Wheel of Doom
 The Onion (Website) / int_1785a1ad
comment
Ferris Wheel of Doom: "Report: 40,000 People Died On Ferris Wheels This Summer".
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 The Onion (Website) / int_188802c0
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Spurned into Suicide
 The Onion (Website) / int_188802c0
comment
Spurned into Suicide: "David Cameron To Scottish People: 'I'll Kill Myself If You Leave'"
 The Onion (Website) / int_188802c0
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 The Onion (Website) / int_18a84025
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Only Six Faces
 The Onion (Website) / int_18a84025
comment
Only Six Faces: The American Voices feature has been showing the same six or so photos for over a decade, with different names and occupations each time (though one of them is often a systems analyst). Ambiguously used in the similar sports feature Fan on the Street, which always shows the same three photos with no names or occupations given. Lampshaded by The Onion itself here.
 The Onion (Website) / int_18a84025
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 The Onion (Website) / int_191a164
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"No Talking or Phones" Warning
 The Onion (Website) / int_191a164
comment
"No Talking or Phones" Warning: "Vehement Anti-Cell-Phone Guy Finally Caves".
 The Onion (Website) / int_191a164
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 The Onion (Website) / int_19661850
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Just the Introduction to the Opposites
 The Onion (Website) / int_19661850
comment
Just the Introduction to the Opposites: "Gay Teen Worried He Might Be Christian". "Local Teen Walks In On Family Masturbating". "Asian Teen Has Sweaty Middle-Aged-Man Fetish".
 The Onion (Website) / int_19661850
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Dead All Along
 The Onion (Website) / int_1b590025
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Dead All Along: "Alarming MRI Shows Peyton Manning Has Been Dead For Past 6 Months".
 The Onion (Website) / int_1b590025
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 The Onion (Website) / int_1b65dfad
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The Cameo
 The Onion (Website) / int_1b65dfad
comment
The Cameo: Ben Stiller, Rachel Maddow, and Mike Huckabee were all on the TV show. The last two were on the same episode.
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The Danza
 The Onion (Website) / int_1b73fd6c
comment
The Danza: In-Universe, Tracy Toth, aka Today Now's Tracy Gill.
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 The Onion (Website) / int_1ba17583
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The Ghost
 The Onion (Website) / int_1ba17583
comment
Clifford Banes has never actually appeared in his self-titled panel-discussion series In the Know with Clifford Banes; there's always a sit-in newscaster who gives an absurd reason for Banes' absence. The only time he did show up, he wore a perfect latex Julianna McKennis mask.
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Visual Pun
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Visual Pun: "Guy Who Normally Holds Up Letter 'D' Sick This Week".
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 The Onion (Website) / int_1d18887f
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Pay Evil unto Evil
 The Onion (Website) / int_1d18887f
comment
Pay Evil unto Evil: In "Ask The Minutes From A Heated Kiwanis Club Meeting", normally, assaulting a fellow Kiwanis Club official would be completely unacceptable, but not only is Treasurer Bill Jarvis an irresonsible, chronically absentee alcoholic, but he'd just responded to being called an "asshole" by bringing up how fellow member Roger Lambert's wife was Driven to Suicide three years ago. When Lambert starts punching Jarvis, the board holds a motion on whether to stop him, and it's defeated 16-2.
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 The Onion (Website) / int_1d53cca0
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Clickbait Gag
 The Onion (Website) / int_1d53cca0
comment
Clickbait Gag: The article "How Internet Clickbait Works" describes the process of creating sensationalist content in nine steps, starting with nine days where the brain prepares to have an immediate reaction to "Check this out!" and ending with money mysteriously being earned.
 The Onion (Website) / int_1d53cca0
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Dagwood Sandwich
 The Onion (Website) / int_1d6ac70d
comment
Dagwood Sandwich: "Report: American People Lead World In Compressing Big Sandwiches So They're Bitable".
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 The Onion (Website) / int_1d8733d3
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Overly Narrow Superlative
 The Onion (Website) / int_1d8733d3
comment
Overly Narrow Superlative: According to "Best Sports Stadiums", "Michigan Stadium has been selected by The Saginaw News as the best 100,000-plus-seat venue in Washtenaw County for 13 consecutive years."
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Wild Child
 The Onion (Website) / int_1ef7232d
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Wild Child: "Girl Raised From Birth By Wolf Blitzer Taken Into Protective Custody".
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 The Onion (Website) / int_1f17e9fe
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High-Altitude Interrogation
 The Onion (Website) / int_1f17e9fe
comment
High-Altitude Interrogation: It's reported in their web video "Nation's Hardass Cops Finally Find Time to Play Games" that "hardass cops can be fucked with for two more hours, at which point they will resume dangling lowlifes from rooftops until they get the answers they want."
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 The Onion (Website) / int_1f8cdb5c
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Who Shot JFK?
 The Onion (Website) / int_1f8cdb5c
comment
Who Shot JFK?: "Our Dumb Century" has a story about JFK being shot by practically every single individual or organization that conspiracy theories accuse of his assassination.
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 The Onion (Website) / int_1fb947b6
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Just Train Wrong
 The Onion (Website) / int_1fb947b6
comment
Just Train Wrong: "Murder Mystery On Train Not So Fun In Real Life". It's supposed to be on a train in Wisconsin, yet the page image choice is of a Bay Area Rapid Transit (BART) train in San Francisco. "Circus Train Wreck Not Funny, Investigators Emphasize". Though the train crashed in Altoona, Pennsylvania, the picture is of an Indian Railways passenger train, and the car out of which the giraffes are sticking their heads is an electric locomotive.
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Girls Have Cooties
 The Onion (Website) / int_2006056c
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Girls Have Cooties: "10-Year-Old Denies Girl-Liking Allegations".
 The Onion (Website) / int_2006056c
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The Onion (Website) / int_2006056c
 The Onion (Website) / int_20a14df0
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Wrong Genre Savvy
 The Onion (Website) / int_20a14df0
comment
Wrong Genre Savvy: "Man Who Will Die In Great Eastern Seaboard Flood Of 2023 Preparing For Mayan Apocalypse".
 The Onion (Website) / int_20a14df0
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_20a14df0
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The Onion (Website) / int_20a14df0
 The Onion (Website) / int_20d965e
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Gentleman Thief
 The Onion (Website) / int_20d965e
comment
Gentleman Thief: "Bad Boy Fencing Star Implicated In Daring Jewel Heist".
 The Onion (Website) / int_20d965e
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_20d965e
 The Onion (Website) / int_20e70d4e
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Popularity Polynomial
 The Onion (Website) / int_20e70d4e
comment
Popularity Polynomial: In-universe, "Lava Lamps Revert From Passé Retro Kitsch Back To Novel Retro Camp".
 The Onion (Website) / int_20e70d4e
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_20e70d4e
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The Onion (Website) / int_20e70d4e
 The Onion (Website) / int_20ffc19a
type
Famous for Being First
 The Onion (Website) / int_20ffc19a
comment
Famous for Being First: The video "First Female Dictator Hailed As Step Forward For Women" is a fictional news report which parodies this trope for dark satire. The titular female dictator is Amivi Gama, a ruthless revolutionary who has made herself the President of East Timor. She leads a brutal Reign of Terror to crack down on all dissent, with everyone in the video (even her own victims) being impressed that a woman can prove to be just as much of a cruel tyrant as any man can be. This obviously satirizes the concept that achievements made by the "first" woman in any given field are necessarily positive, even if that field is inherently evil (like being a mass-murdering dictator, terrorist, or war criminal).
 The Onion (Website) / int_20ffc19a
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The Onion (Website) / int_20ffc19a
 The Onion (Website) / int_2112092c
type
Lifetime Movie of the Week
 The Onion (Website) / int_2112092c
comment
Lifetime Movie of the Week: "Oh, My God – The Baby!"
 The Onion (Website) / int_2112092c
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The Onion (Website) / int_2112092c
 The Onion (Website) / int_21535375
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Blonde Republican Sex Kitten
 The Onion (Website) / int_21535375
comment
Blonde Republican Sex Kitten: Joad Cressbeckler is a twist on this trope. He's a parody of an old, xenophobic, curmudgeony conservative, but he frequently ends up taking liberal stances on things like gay rights, immigration, and GMOs, but for his own bizarre reasons.
 The Onion (Website) / int_21535375
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The Onion (Website) / int_21535375
 The Onion (Website) / int_21d70919
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Crapsack World
 The Onion (Website) / int_21d70919
comment
Crapsack World: The world as a whole. In The Know's world has ghouls, robot overlords, baby skulls as jewelry... Rule of Funny produces some hilariously-horrific things. Alluded to in the article "This What World Like Now", following the Boston Marathon blast in April 2013. The last line says it all:
 The Onion (Website) / int_21d70919
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 The Onion (Website) / int_21f7ff0f
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Knight in Sour Armor
 The Onion (Website) / int_21f7ff0f
comment
Knight in Sour Armor: "Existentialist Firefighter Delays Three Deaths".
 The Onion (Website) / int_21f7ff0f
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The Onion (Website) / int_21f7ff0f
 The Onion (Website) / int_22a27b19
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Alpha Bitch
 The Onion (Website) / int_22a27b19
comment
Alpha Bitch: Fact Zone host Brooke Alvarez. She even exposed the entire sad life of a viewer just for correcting a history segment. In a cameo appearance, Rachel Maddow describes her as a "cheerleader cruel bitch type".
 The Onion (Website) / int_22a27b19
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The Onion (Website) / int_22a27b19
 The Onion (Website) / int_22d639e6
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If It Bleeds, It Leads
 The Onion (Website) / int_22d639e6
comment
If It Bleeds, It Leads: "Missing Girl Probably Raped".
 The Onion (Website) / int_22d639e6
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_22d639e6
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The Onion (Website) / int_22d639e6
 The Onion (Website) / int_230d64
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Screw the Rules, I Have Money!
 The Onion (Website) / int_230d64
comment
Screw the Rules, I Have Money!: "Wealthy Teen Nearly Experiences Consequence".
 The Onion (Website) / int_230d64
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 The Onion (Website) / int_230d64
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The Onion (Website) / int_230d64
 The Onion (Website) / int_233d181
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Misaimed Fandom
 The Onion (Website) / int_233d181
comment
Misaimed Fandom: In-universe with "Man Wearing Cobra Command Shirt Missed The Whole Point Of 'G.I. Joe'".
 The Onion (Website) / int_233d181
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 The Onion (Website) / int_233d181
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The Onion (Website) / int_233d181
 The Onion (Website) / int_234bd900
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For Science!
 The Onion (Website) / int_234bd900
comment
For Science!: In "Scientists Successfully Teach Gorilla It Will Die Someday", a team of primatologists successfully teaches a gorilla named Quigley that death is inevitable. Quigley experiences an existential crisis and becomes depressed; the scientists are quite proud of the result and hope that eventually they'll be able to teach a gorilla to resort to alcoholism or even commit suicide.
 The Onion (Website) / int_234bd900
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 The Onion (Website) / int_234bd900
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The Onion (Website) / int_234bd900
 The Onion (Website) / int_23698fa8
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Aborted Arc
 The Onion (Website) / int_23698fa8
comment
Aborted Arc: The mysterious congressman's presidential campaign initially seemed like just another funny article, but it was then followed up by him challenging the other candidates to a debate at dawn. Since then, nothing.
 The Onion (Website) / int_23698fa8
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The Onion (Website) / int_23698fa8
 The Onion (Website) / int_237f7eeb
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Missing White Woman Syndrome
 The Onion (Website) / int_237f7eeb
comment
Missing White Woman Syndrome: Inverted with "Ugly Girl Killed". "Missing Girl Probably Raped". "Thousands Of Girls Match Description Of Missing Sorority Sister".
 The Onion (Website) / int_237f7eeb
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_237f7eeb
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The Onion (Website) / int_237f7eeb
 The Onion (Website) / int_24414d6a
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President for Life
 The Onion (Website) / int_24414d6a
comment
President for Life: "Clinton Declares Self President For Life," complete with Commissar Cap and Chest of Medals.
 The Onion (Website) / int_24414d6a
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_24414d6a
 The Onion (Website) / int_246c9dc5
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Unknown Rival
 The Onion (Website) / int_246c9dc5
comment
Unknown Rival: "Teen Unaware He Locked In Heated Ongoing Competition With Parents' Friends' Son"
 The Onion (Website) / int_246c9dc5
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_246c9dc5
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The Onion (Website) / int_246c9dc5
 The Onion (Website) / int_24a045cd
type
Wants a Prize for Basic Decency
 The Onion (Website) / int_24a045cd
comment
Wants a Prize for Basic Decency: "Chauvin Defense Team Praises Officer's Restraint In Not Killing Bystanders": "Local Priest Takes Great Pride In Never Having Molested Anyone".
 The Onion (Website) / int_24a045cd
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 The Onion (Website) / int_24a045cd
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The Onion (Website) / int_24a045cd
 The Onion (Website) / int_24ddbe2b
type
Saw "Star Wars" Twenty-Seven Times
 The Onion (Website) / int_24ddbe2b
comment
Saw "Star Wars" Twenty-Seven Times: "Clinton Takes Leave Of Office To Stand In Line For 'Star Wars: Episode I'" written during the Clinton administration mentions the President planning to see The Phantom Menace at least twenty times during its opening weekend, after which he will return to his office and follow a once-a-day viewing schedule. "Man Googles Matt Damon's Address Because, Well, He's Crazy And Wants To Murder Him". He's also recorded Ocean's Eleven on his DVR and has viewed the film "more than 200 times in the past month", and is in possession of 100 DVD copies of The Legend of Bagger Vance.
 The Onion (Website) / int_24ddbe2b
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 The Onion (Website) / int_24ddbe2b
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The Onion (Website) / int_24ddbe2b
 The Onion (Website) / int_251bbe0e
type
Genre Blindness
 The Onion (Website) / int_251bbe0e
comment
Genre Blindness: "Experts Agree Giant, Razor-Clawed Bioengineered Crabs Pose No Threat". The woman in the commentary "I'm Sure That Out-Of-Control Water-Skier Will Avoid Our Outdoor Wedding".
 The Onion (Website) / int_251bbe0e
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The Onion (Website) / int_251bbe0e
 The Onion (Website) / int_2547b359
type
Real Dreams are Weirder
 The Onion (Website) / int_2547b359
comment
Real Dreams are Weirder: "Chef Cooks 'Dream Omelette' That Came To Him In A Dream".
 The Onion (Website) / int_2547b359
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_2547b359
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The Onion (Website) / int_2547b359
 The Onion (Website) / int_25524784
type
No-Holds-Barred Beatdown
 The Onion (Website) / int_25524784
comment
No-Holds-Barred Beatdown: "If I See Doug, I'm Going To Kick His Ass vs. Apparently Doug Is A Better Fighter Than I Thought". "Five Or Six Dudes Jump Out of Nowhere And Just Start Whaling on This One Guy".
 The Onion (Website) / int_25524784
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 The Onion (Website) / int_25524784
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The Onion (Website) / int_25524784
 The Onion (Website) / int_2612a967
type
It Has Been an Honor
 The Onion (Website) / int_2612a967
comment
It Has Been an Honor: "'It's Been An Honor, Gentlemen,' Shift Supervisor Says As Giant Vat Of Molten Cheese Erupts".
 The Onion (Website) / int_2612a967
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_2612a967
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The Onion (Website) / int_2612a967
 The Onion (Website) / int_26eb6287
type
Funny Background Event
 The Onion (Website) / int_26eb6287
comment
Funny Background Event: The news ticker at the bottom of Newsroom videos. Also, some screenshots of websites have headlines as funny as the news ticker's. "Obama Currently Being Chased In Background Of Secret Service Hearing".
 The Onion (Website) / int_26eb6287
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 The Onion (Website) / int_26eb6287
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The Onion (Website) / int_26eb6287
 The Onion (Website) / int_272abb98
type
Shoot the Shaggy Dog
 The Onion (Website) / int_272abb98
comment
Shoot the Shaggy Dog: "Heroic PETA Commandos Kill 49, Save Rabbit" becomes this when said rabbit gets caught and killed by a fox minutes after being released into the wild.
 The Onion (Website) / int_272abb98
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The Onion (Website) / int_272abb98
 The Onion (Website) / int_2740531a
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She Cleans Up Nicely
 The Onion (Website) / int_2740531a
comment
She Cleans Up Nicely: "Bearded Lady Cleans Up Real Nice".
 The Onion (Website) / int_2740531a
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_2740531a
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The Onion (Website) / int_2740531a
 The Onion (Website) / int_27d3df7e
type
Glurge Addict
 The Onion (Website) / int_27d3df7e
comment
Glurge Addict: Jean Teasdale's columns paint her life as an endless stream of cute "kitties", ice cream, Precious Moments figurines, and endearing squabbles with her man's-man "hubby" Rick. The reality of her situation — that she's a deluded 40+ sad-sack, and Rick is a neglectful, alcoholic, emotionally abusive prick — seems to escape her.
 The Onion (Website) / int_27d3df7e
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 The Onion (Website) / int_27d3df7e
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The Onion (Website) / int_27d3df7e
 The Onion (Website) / int_27fdd6a1
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Divine Parentage
 The Onion (Website) / int_27fdd6a1
comment
Divine Parentage: "Michael Phelps Spots Estranged Father Poseidon In Stands."
 The Onion (Website) / int_27fdd6a1
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_27fdd6a1
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The Onion (Website) / int_27fdd6a1
 The Onion (Website) / int_280333d4
type
Hollywood Heart Attack
 The Onion (Website) / int_280333d4
comment
Hollywood Heart Attack: Discussed in "Doctors Say Average Heart Attack Victim Doesn't Clutch At Chest Nearly Dramatically Enough".
 The Onion (Website) / int_280333d4
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_280333d4
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The Onion (Website) / int_280333d4
 The Onion (Website) / int_2835de61
type
Evil Power Vacuum
 The Onion (Website) / int_2835de61
comment
Evil Power Vacuum: "Second-Most Popular Kid In School Assumes Power Following Death Of Star Quarterback".
 The Onion (Website) / int_2835de61
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_2835de61
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The Onion (Website) / int_2835de61
 The Onion (Website) / int_287865ea
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Help Yourself in the Future
 The Onion (Website) / int_287865ea
comment
Help Yourself in the Future: "Time-Traveling Hillary Clinton Warns Self To Do Everything In Exact Same Way".
 The Onion (Website) / int_287865ea
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_287865ea
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The Onion (Website) / int_287865ea
 The Onion (Website) / int_28a5213a
type
Small Name, Big Ego
 The Onion (Website) / int_28a5213a
comment
Small Name, Big Ego: "Somebody's Got to Save This Country From Certain Doom, And Let's Face It, That Person Is Me". The parody editorial cartoonist Stan Kelly displays traits of this frequently. In the book collection, he even dedicates it to himself for having the guts to "tell it like it is". "Coworkers Dying To Tell Man He's Going To Be Fired" has the underperforming and lazy Mark Tendulkar excited about making one sale.
 The Onion (Website) / int_28a5213a
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 The Onion (Website) / int_28a5213a
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The Onion (Website) / int_28a5213a
 The Onion (Website) / int_28b08686
type
A Party, Also Known as an Orgy
 The Onion (Website) / int_28b08686
comment
A Party, Also Known as an Orgy: "Obama Fed Grapes While Urging Press Conference To Enjoy Orgy".
 The Onion (Website) / int_28b08686
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 The Onion (Website) / int_28b08686
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The Onion (Website) / int_28b08686
 The Onion (Website) / int_2937826d
type
Hurricane of Puns
 The Onion (Website) / int_2937826d
comment
Hurricane of Puns: Roger Dudek's regular column is basically just a nonstop barrage of the most horrible puns imaginable.
 The Onion (Website) / int_2937826d
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_2937826d
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The Onion (Website) / int_2937826d
 The Onion (Website) / int_295087bf
type
Non-Indicative Name
 The Onion (Website) / int_295087bf
comment
Non-Indicative Name: In "Expert Wasted Entire Life Studying Anteaters", the interviewer asks what the anteater's Venezuelan name means, and the expert says, "catcher of ants." After an awkward pause, the inteviewer points out that he finds it interesting that anteaters don't eat ants.
 The Onion (Website) / int_295087bf
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 The Onion (Website) / int_295087bf
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The Onion (Website) / int_295087bf
 The Onion (Website) / int_2af6bbeb
type
Break the Haughty
 The Onion (Website) / int_2af6bbeb
comment
Break the Haughty: "Ask the Dauphin". While the Dauphin is an arrogant Royal Brat with an incestuous crush on his sister for the responses to the first three letters, in the fourth, he's completely broken as a result of being thrown in jail, and he's shown pleading for news about his family and asking for a fire.
 The Onion (Website) / int_2af6bbeb
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 The Onion (Website) / int_2af6bbeb
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The Onion (Website) / int_2af6bbeb
 The Onion (Website) / int_2afc6585
type
Girlboss Feminist
 The Onion (Website) / int_2afc6585
comment
Girlboss Feminist: "First Female Dictator Hailed As Step Forward For Women" is a fictional news report that parodies this trope for dark satire. The titular female dictator is Amivi Gama, a ruthless revolutionary who has made herself the President of East Timor. She leads a brutal Reign of Terror to crack down on all dissent, with everyone in the video (even her own victims) being impressed that a woman can prove to be just as much of a cruel tyrant as any man can be. This obviously satirizes the concept that achievements made by the "first" woman in any given field are necessarily positive, even if that field is inherently evil (like being a mass-murdering dictator, terrorist, or war criminal).
 The Onion (Website) / int_2afc6585
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 The Onion (Website) / int_2afc6585
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The Onion (Website) / int_2afc6585
 The Onion (Website) / int_2b65aa76
type
Straw Critic
 The Onion (Website) / int_2b65aa76
comment
Straw Critic: Jackie Harvey is an inversion, as he loves damn near any movie put out.
 The Onion (Website) / int_2b65aa76
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_2b65aa76
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The Onion (Website) / int_2b65aa76
 The Onion (Website) / int_2b706ca
type
More Dakka
 The Onion (Website) / int_2b706ca
comment
More Dakka: "Everyone At Office Planning Shooting Spree For Same Day". "AR-15 Assault Rifle Beginning To Worry It May Never Get To Kill Innocent Person".
 The Onion (Website) / int_2b706ca
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_2b706ca
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The Onion (Website) / int_2b706ca
 The Onion (Website) / int_2be271c7
type
Hollywood Hacking
 The Onion (Website) / int_2be271c7
comment
Hollywood Hacking: "Fast-Talking Computer Hacker Just Has To Break Through Encryption Shield Before Uploading Nano-Virus".
 The Onion (Website) / int_2be271c7
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_2be271c7
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The Onion (Website) / int_2be271c7
 The Onion (Website) / int_2cd22076
type
Fantastic Drug
 The Onion (Website) / int_2cd22076
comment
Fantastic Drug: Gaseous Planets serve as this in "God Completely Fucked Up After Huffing Gaseous Planet".
 The Onion (Website) / int_2cd22076
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_2cd22076
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The Onion (Website) / int_2cd22076
 The Onion (Website) / int_2cf282ea
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She Is All Grown Up
 The Onion (Website) / int_2cf282ea
comment
She Is All Grown Up: "Teenage Girl Blossoming Into Beautiful Object".
 The Onion (Website) / int_2cf282ea
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 The Onion (Website) / int_2cf282ea
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The Onion (Website) / int_2cf282ea
 The Onion (Website) / int_2d30ecda
type
Strangely Specific Horoscope
 The Onion (Website) / int_2d30ecda
comment
Strangely Specific Horoscope: Played for Laughs. Every issue has an insane horoscope with strangely specific and violent predictions. For a couple of concrete examples: Pisces: After years of work, you will be asked to submit your paper called "There Is Nothing Like A Good Plate Of Bacon And Eggs" to the philosophy department at the Sorbonne. Aries: Your plan to put on a spectacular song-and-dance show to raise desperately needed cash will somehow fail to save your foundering musical. Taurus: You will realize too late that an absolute monarch is still in thrall to the needs of his subjects when your hamsters start dying of starvation.
 The Onion (Website) / int_2d30ecda
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 The Onion (Website) / int_2d30ecda
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The Onion (Website) / int_2d30ecda
 The Onion (Website) / int_2d4a6d8c
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Sophisticated as Hell
 The Onion (Website) / int_2d4a6d8c
comment
Sophisticated as Hell: Smoove B: Pretty much all of Horrifying Planet, especially this one. The last quote in this article. "Epic Saga of Employee's Ineptitude Passed Down Through Generations Of Coworkers"
 The Onion (Website) / int_2d4a6d8c
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The Onion (Website) / int_2d4a6d8c
 The Onion (Website) / int_2d4fa515
type
Ax-Crazy
 The Onion (Website) / int_2d4fa515
comment
Ax-Crazy: A Jerk Jock shooting innocent students and having killed animals for fun and written a manifesto about him skinning a classmate and wearing it as a pelt.
 The Onion (Website) / int_2d4fa515
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 The Onion (Website) / int_2dba7575
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Wacky Fratboy Hijinx
 The Onion (Website) / int_2dba7575
comment
Wacky Fratboy Hijinx: "Online University Cracks Down on Rowdy Online Fraternity".
 The Onion (Website) / int_2dba7575
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The Onion (Website) / int_2dba7575
 The Onion (Website) / int_2de495bb
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Missing Child
 The Onion (Website) / int_2de495bb
comment
Missing Child: "Every Parent's Worst Nightmare Is Losing A Child To Gorchul, The Dark Sorcerer Of Time". It's almost as if it's making fun of the endemic misuse this trope gets on this very wiki.
 The Onion (Website) / int_2de495bb
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The Onion (Website) / int_2de495bb
 The Onion (Website) / int_2e032e41
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Latin Lover
 The Onion (Website) / int_2e032e41
comment
Latin Lover: "Small Town Ravished By Alejandro".
 The Onion (Website) / int_2e032e41
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The Onion (Website) / int_2e032e41
 The Onion (Website) / int_2e0c6c38
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Eskimos Aren't Real
 The Onion (Website) / int_2e0c6c38
comment
Eskimos Aren't Real: "I Sometimes Wish Lawyers Existed Outside The Fantastical World Of My Novels". "Bizarre Sci-Fi Novel Posits World Where Natives Inhabited America Before Europeans".
 The Onion (Website) / int_2e0c6c38
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The Onion (Website) / int_2e0c6c38
 The Onion (Website) / int_3033b958
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Giant Enemy Crab
 The Onion (Website) / int_3033b958
comment
Giant Enemy Crab: "Experts Agree Giant, Razor-Clawed Bioengineered Crabs Pose No Threat".
 The Onion (Website) / int_3033b958
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The Onion (Website) / int_3033b958
 The Onion (Website) / int_30d2ae29
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Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
 The Onion (Website) / int_30d2ae29
comment
Self-Fulfilling Prophecy: "Report: Things Finally As Bad As Trump Claims".
 The Onion (Website) / int_30d2ae29
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The Onion (Website) / int_30d2ae29
 The Onion (Website) / int_30ed4f7d
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Sleazy Politician
 The Onion (Website) / int_30ed4f7d
comment
Sleazy Politician: "City Of Chicago To Modernize Outdated Graft Programs". "Illinois Supreme Court Deems Rahm Emanuel Sleazy Enough To Run For Mayor Of Chicago".
 The Onion (Website) / int_30ed4f7d
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The Onion (Website) / int_30ed4f7d
 The Onion (Website) / int_30fde463
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Word Salad Philosophy
 The Onion (Website) / int_30fde463
comment
Word Salad Philosophy: "Raving Lunatic Obviously Took Some Advanced Physics".
 The Onion (Website) / int_30fde463
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_30fde463
 The Onion (Website) / int_319e4a2f
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Even Evil Has Standards
 The Onion (Website) / int_319e4a2f
comment
Even Evil Has Standards: "Jerry Sandusky Horrified By Behavior of Rutgers Basketball Coach". "Kim Jong-Un Comes Out In Support Of Gay Marriage": "Satan Refuses To Accept Any More Catholic Priests In Hell". The titular cartoonist of Kelly Comics has just about every detestable right-wing view you can think of, but even he is against people who publicly display the Confederate flag. He's also pro-choice, if only because he doesn't want to pay child support.
 The Onion (Website) / int_319e4a2f
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The Onion (Website) / int_319e4a2f
 The Onion (Website) / int_31ae6183
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Got Me Doing It
 The Onion (Website) / int_31ae6183
comment
Got Me Doing It: Referenced by name in the last paragraph of "Man Has Derogatory Nickname For Every Neighboring Town".
 The Onion (Website) / int_31ae6183
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The Onion (Website) / int_31ae6183
 The Onion (Website) / int_31c3bb94
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Firemen Are Hot
 The Onion (Website) / int_31c3bb94
comment
Firemen Are Hot: "Incredibly Sexy Firefighter Tragically Dies In Steamy Blaze".
 The Onion (Website) / int_31c3bb94
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_31c3bb94
 The Onion (Website) / int_31da1e24
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Shipper on Deck
 The Onion (Website) / int_31da1e24
comment
Shipper on Deck: Subverted in "Guests Forced To Pretend Wedding A Good Thing", in which it's repeatedly made clear how unhealthy the couple's relationship is. That said, even the only source willing to say straight out that the marriage won't last remarks that they're a "cute couple."
 The Onion (Website) / int_31da1e24
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The Onion (Website) / int_31da1e24
 The Onion (Website) / int_32cb267a
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Magical Negro
 The Onion (Website) / int_32cb267a
comment
Magical Negro: "Maya Angelou Honored For Courage, Blackness".
 The Onion (Website) / int_32cb267a
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_32cb267a
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The Onion (Website) / int_32cb267a
 The Onion (Website) / int_334e48a1
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After the End
 The Onion (Website) / int_334e48a1
comment
After the End: "Person Who Will One Day Become Warlord-Ruler Of What Was Once Nebraska Born In Omaha Hospital" claims that the USA will be a post-apocalyptic wasteland by the time a newly-born baby reaches adulthood. This one also has wild Mood Whiplash.
 The Onion (Website) / int_334e48a1
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_334e48a1
 The Onion (Website) / int_33f6c897
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Stoners Are Funny
 The Onion (Website) / int_33f6c897
comment
Stoners Are Funny: Everybody Must Get Stoned, from scientists to pizzeria workers, and this is invariably depicted for humour. "World's Top Scientists Ponder: What If The Whole Universe Is, Like, One Huge Atom?" "Everyone Involved In Pizza's Preparation, Delivery, Purchase Extremely High".
 The Onion (Website) / int_33f6c897
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The Onion (Website) / int_33f6c897
 The Onion (Website) / int_340575a7
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Girl on Girl Is Hot
 The Onion (Website) / int_340575a7
comment
Girl on Girl Is Hot: Parodied with "Lesbian Couple Enjoys Hot Lesbian Action"; the image with this caption shows two middle-aged butch lesbians sitting on a couch.
 The Onion (Website) / int_340575a7
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The Onion (Website) / int_340575a7
 The Onion (Website) / int_342f0ffa
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Discriminate and Switch
 The Onion (Website) / int_342f0ffa
comment
Discriminate and Switch: "I Won't Have My Daughter Bringing A Black Man Into This House Until I've Tidied Up And Created A Welcoming Environment".
 The Onion (Website) / int_342f0ffa
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_342f0ffa
 The Onion (Website) / int_34735a64
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RubeGoldbergMachine
 The Onion (Website) / int_34735a64
comment
Rube Goldberg Machine: "Hot Wheels Ranked Number One Toy For Rolling Down Ramp, Knocking Over Dominoes That Send Marble Down A Funnel, Dropping Onto Teeter-Totter That Yanks On String, Causing Pulley System To Raise Wooden Block, Propelling Series Of Twine Rollers That Unwind Spring, Launching Tennis Ball Across Room, Inching Tire Down Slope Until It Hits Power Switch, Activating Table Fan That Blows Toy Ship With Nail Attached To It Across Kiddie Pool, Popping Water Balloon That Fills Cup, Weighing Down Lever That Forces Basketball Down Track, Nudging Broomstick On Axis To Rotate, Allowing Golf Ball To Roll Into Sideways Coffee Mug, Which Tumbles Down Row Of Hardcover Books Until Handle Catches Hook Attached To Lever That Causes Wooden Mallet To Slam Down On Serving Spoon, Catapulting Small Ball Into Cup Attached By Ribbon To Lazy Susan, Which Spins Until It Pushes D Battery Down Incline Plane, Tipping Over Salt Shaker To Season Omelet"
 The Onion (Website) / int_34735a64
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The Onion (Website) / int_34735a64
 The Onion (Website) / int_348eda5f
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Public Medium Ignorance
 The Onion (Website) / int_348eda5f
comment
Public Medium Ignorance: "NASCAR Coach Reveals Winning Strategy: Drive Fast".
 The Onion (Website) / int_348eda5f
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_348eda5f
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The Onion (Website) / int_348eda5f
 The Onion (Website) / int_34dcfc96
type
Kick the Dog
 The Onion (Website) / int_34dcfc96
comment
Kick the Dog: In "Coworkers Dying To Tell Man He's Going To Be Fired", not only is Mark Tendulkar, the man in question, a slacker who thinks he's hot stuff despite his incompetence, but he also badmouths the one coworker who defends him, albeit not knowing that said person is doing so.
 The Onion (Website) / int_34dcfc96
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_34dcfc96
 The Onion (Website) / int_3517000d
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Mad Scientist
 The Onion (Website) / int_3517000d
comment
Mad Scientist: "Corpse-Reanimation Technology Still 10 Years Off, Say MIT Mad Scientists". "Mad Scientist's Plot Thwarted by Budget Cuts".
 The Onion (Website) / int_3517000d
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_3517000d
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The Onion (Website) / int_3517000d
 The Onion (Website) / int_352151a3
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Recursive Reality
 The Onion (Website) / int_352151a3
comment
Recursive Reality: "Physicists Discover Our Universe Is Fictional Setting Of Cop Show Called 'Hard Case".
 The Onion (Website) / int_352151a3
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_352151a3
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The Onion (Website) / int_352151a3
 The Onion (Website) / int_35a858b3
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Cluster F-Bomb
 The Onion (Website) / int_35a858b3
comment
Cluster F-Bomb: "Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades", a profanity-laced faux editorial in which Gillette's then-CEO "announced" that the company would introduce a five-blade razor. The I Fucked My Way Into This Mess, And I'll Fuck My Way Out article with both the title and content consists of 587 words, and of those words, 81 of them include an instance of "fuck", with a few (really, there's way less of those than fuck) other obscenities in the article as well. The article is appropriately capped off with the final sentence just being "Fuck." Our Dumb Century has a story about one of FDR's fireside chats being a "long string of cuss words." Basically, "My fellow Americans..." were the only words out of his mouth that weren't an obscenity of some sort.
 The Onion (Website) / int_35a858b3
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The Onion (Website) / int_35a858b3
 The Onion (Website) / int_36215b80
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Sex Sells
 The Onion (Website) / int_36215b80
comment
Sex Sells: "Poll Finds Majority Of Male Voters Would Have Elected Naked Woman" (NSFW).
 The Onion (Website) / int_36215b80
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_36215b80
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The Onion (Website) / int_36215b80
 The Onion (Website) / int_363f1f98
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Former Child Star
 The Onion (Website) / int_363f1f98
comment
Former Child Star: "Entertainment Scientists Warn Miley Cyrus Will Be Depleted By 2013".
 The Onion (Website) / int_363f1f98
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_363f1f98
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The Onion (Website) / int_363f1f98
 The Onion (Website) / int_36e63b81
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Rule of Cool
 The Onion (Website) / int_36e63b81
comment
Rule of Cool: "Nation Demands Tax Dollars Only Be Wasted On Stuff That's Awesome". "Supreme Court: Death Penalty Is 'Totally Badass'".
 The Onion (Website) / int_36e63b81
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_36e63b81
 The Onion (Website) / int_371b253a
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Testosterone Poisoning
 The Onion (Website) / int_371b253a
comment
Testosterone Poisoning: "New Texas-Style Yogurt To Feed Man-Size Hunger For Yogurt".
 The Onion (Website) / int_371b253a
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_371b253a
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The Onion (Website) / int_371b253a
 The Onion (Website) / int_37517526
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Photoshop Filter of Evil
 The Onion (Website) / int_37517526
comment
Photoshop Filter of Evil: This cheap trick is spoofed among many other examples of Manipulative Editing in the manufactured satirical crime story "Man Had Sex With Wife Thousands Of Times Before Killing Her".
 The Onion (Website) / int_37517526
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 The Onion (Website) / int_37517526
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The Onion (Website) / int_37517526
 The Onion (Website) / int_38d12399
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Teens Are Monsters
 The Onion (Website) / int_38d12399
comment
Teens Are Monsters: "15-Year-Old Girl Viciously Torn Apart By Rabid Pack Of Peers". "Brain-Dead Teen, Only Capable Of Rolling Eyes And Texting, To Be Euthanized". "'100% of Teenagers Huge Fucking Assholes' Confirms Study By Sobbing, Red-Faced Scientist".
 The Onion (Website) / int_38d12399
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The Onion (Website) / int_38d12399
 The Onion (Website) / int_38f5ed1a
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Dragged Off to Hell
 The Onion (Website) / int_38f5ed1a
comment
Dragged Off to Hell: "Giant Demonic Hand Bursts Out Of Ground, Drags Bill Belichick Back To Hell," right in the middle of Super Bowl LIII too.
 The Onion (Website) / int_38f5ed1a
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The Onion (Website) / int_38f5ed1a
 The Onion (Website) / int_3950c1f0
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Poe's Law
 The Onion (Website) / int_3950c1f0
comment
Poe's Law: Many, many times, some articles have been mistaken for legitimate ones. "Republicans Vote To Repeal Obama-Backed Bill That Would Destroy Asteroid Headed For Earth" actually provoked a Libertarian blogger to agree. The most famous example, arguably, is the Chinese newspaper falling for the story about Congress threatening to leave Washington D.C. unless a better building was built (a parody of threats made by sports teams to relocate unless they received a new stadium). The one about Harry Potter sparking a rise in witchcraft, as well as the video about the boy bankrupting the Make-A-Wish Foundation with infinite wishes, have shown up in some email forwards. The staff at Fox Nation.com repurposed an anti-Obama article seriously, not acknowledging the original was a joke. This site archives Facebook reactions treating the articles as real, and likewise this subreddit.
 The Onion (Website) / int_3950c1f0
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The Onion (Website) / int_3950c1f0
 The Onion (Website) / int_3c0a4666
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Noodle Incident
 The Onion (Website) / int_3c0a4666
comment
Noodle Incident: "There Should Be No Secrets In Our Relationship Excluding The Events Of March 2, 2004". Semi-regular columnist Dept. Head Rawlings makes frequent reference to "the Barcelona debacle" in his articles. "The Onion Urges Barack Obama To Come Clean About The Basilisk Project".
 The Onion (Website) / int_3c0a4666
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The Onion (Website) / int_3c0a4666
 The Onion (Website) / int_3d2c6d30
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Skewed Priorities
 The Onion (Website) / int_3d2c6d30
comment
Skewed Priorities: "CDC Officials Announce Free Ice Cream For Everyone, Delicious Tasty Ice Cream, And Also There Is An Ebola Outbreak". "Survivors Of Gas Station Explosion Mourn Tragic Loss Of Gas". "Neighbors Confront Alcoholic Child Abuser About His Lawn".
 The Onion (Website) / int_3d2c6d30
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The Onion (Website) / int_3d2c6d30
 The Onion (Website) / int_3ea462d7
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Take That, Audience!
 The Onion (Website) / int_3ea462d7
comment
Take That, Audience!: Does this from time to time. "Fuck Everything, Nation Reports": "Let Me Explain Why Miley Cyrus Was Our Top Story This Morning": This broadcast:
 The Onion (Website) / int_3ea462d7
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_3ea462d7
 The Onion (Website) / int_3ed23024
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Surprisingly Realistic Outcome
 The Onion (Website) / int_3ed23024
comment
Surprisingly Realistic Outcome: "Being A Detective Who Talks To Ghosts Not As Exciting As TV". "Scrappy Band Of Lovable Misfits No Match For Rich Kids" does this in several ways, from the entire premise to more specific examples. The misfits get sued and fined under breaking and entering charges for their panty raid while hacking the rival camp's computers to display crude messages just earned their hacker a dozen subpoenas and jail time. The rich kids win not just because they are snobs. It is because they have better funding, training and equipment, something no amount of pluck can cover. Outside of cheating, they can never lose. When they soak the rival camp's director and his eviction papers, he just gets another copy. "Romantic Comedy Behavior gets Real Life Man Arrested".
 The Onion (Website) / int_3ed23024
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The Onion (Website) / int_3ed23024
 The Onion (Website) / int_3f1aadeb
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Strictly Formula
 The Onion (Website) / int_3f1aadeb
comment
Strictly Formula: All of Jim Anchower's articles pretty much follow the same formula — first he complains about his car, then mentions he lost whatever job he had for the intermittent time between articles.
 The Onion (Website) / int_3f1aadeb
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_3f1aadeb
 The Onion (Website) / int_3fe2b13f
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Ungrateful Bastard
 The Onion (Website) / int_3fe2b13f
comment
Ungrateful Bastard: "Mama Duck Doesn’t Recall Asking For Injured Baby To Be Rescued From Road"
 The Onion (Website) / int_3fe2b13f
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_3fe2b13f
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The Onion (Website) / int_3fe2b13f
 The Onion (Website) / int_4028c4e
type
Off to See the Wizard
 The Onion (Website) / int_4028c4e
comment
Off to See the Wizard: "Sitcom Resorts To 'Wizard Of Oz'-Themed Fantasy Episode".
 The Onion (Website) / int_4028c4e
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_4028c4e
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The Onion (Website) / int_4028c4e
 The Onion (Website) / int_4059fbd2
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Naughty Under the Table
 The Onion (Website) / int_4059fbd2
comment
Naughty Under the Table: Briefly referenced in this video: "Space Under Boardroom Table A Complex Web Of Feet Massaging Various Genitals."
 The Onion (Website) / int_4059fbd2
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_4059fbd2
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The Onion (Website) / int_4059fbd2
 The Onion (Website) / int_4100c67e
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I Don't Want to Ruin Our Friendship
 The Onion (Website) / int_4100c67e
comment
I Don't Want to Ruin Our Friendship: "But If We Started Dating It Would Ruin Our Friendship Where I Ask You To Do Things And You Do Them".
 The Onion (Website) / int_4100c67e
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_4100c67e
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The Onion (Website) / int_4100c67e
 The Onion (Website) / int_41435fc2
type
Pie in the Face
 The Onion (Website) / int_41435fc2
comment
Pie in the Face: "Study Finds Link Between Being Struck By Cream Pie, Diminished Social Standing".
 The Onion (Website) / int_41435fc2
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_41435fc2
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The Onion (Website) / int_41435fc2
 The Onion (Website) / int_41acc7e
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A Hell of a Time
 The Onion (Website) / int_41acc7e
comment
A Hell of a Time: "Hell Now A Thriving Epicenter Of Gay Culture".
 The Onion (Website) / int_41acc7e
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_41acc7e
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The Onion (Website) / int_41acc7e
 The Onion (Website) / int_42008602
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Story Arc
 The Onion (Website) / int_42008602
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Story Arc: In July 2009, T. Herman Zweibel sold the Onion to a Chinese salvage fishery, and the publication was quickly filled with pro-China propaganda and ads for fish byproducts. However, after a few days, the Chinese realized the collapse of the newspaper industry made their purchase worthless and gave the Onion back to its original management. This did not affect the AV Club, although they did let worried readers know that the company was indeed not sold to the Chinese. In June 2011, a week of articles blatantly touted The Onion as deserving a Pulitzer Prize, following a Zweibel editorial stating that he hated Pulitzer and decided it would be the best possible way to piss on his grave. A lobby group was formed, whose president turned out to be an embezzler. Several celebrities appeared in YouTube videos promoting the campaign.
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A.I. Is a Crapshoot
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A.I. Is a Crapshoot: The Fact Zone was made fully automated at one point, which allowed it to develop sapience and an obsessive crush on Brooke Alvarez.
 The Onion (Website) / int_420c50b7
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Serial-Killer Killer
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Serial-Killer Killer: "Series Of Serial Killer Killings Rocks Serial Killer Community".
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Tranquil Fury
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Tranquil Fury: "Dad Way Scarier When Controlling Temper".
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The Guards Must Be Crazy
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The Guards Must Be Crazy: "U.S. Military Heightens Security After Another Group Of Precocious Children Sneaks Onto Base To Save Alien Friend".
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What Could Have Been
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What Could Have Been: In-Universe, "97-Year-Old Dies Unaware Of Being Violin Prodigy".
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Teen Pregnancy
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Teen Pregnancy: Deconstructed in "Abused 12-Year-Old Alabama Girl Doesn't Think She Can Handle Being A Mom On Top Of Everything Else".
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Vagueness Is Coming
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Vagueness Is Coming: "Old, Wizened Fantasy Character Confirms That The Darkness Is Rising".
 The Onion (Website) / int_45ad2569
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Transparent Closet
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Transparent Closet: "Area Homosexual Thinks He's Still In The Closet". "Area Man Experimenting with Homosexuality For Past Eight Years". "Why Do All These Homosexuals Keep Sucking My Cock?" "Band Teacher Gay In Retrospect".
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Mischief-Making Monkey
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Mischief-Making Monkey: "Epstein Guards Placed On Disciplinary Leave For Allowing Selves To Be Distracted By Mischievous Monkey That Stole Key Ring".
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In-Universe
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Mocked In-Universe with "10 Things That Will Make You SUPER Nostalgic for The '90s", a 2013 slideshow with real photos of such great things as the Rwandan genocide, the fiery end of the Waco siege, the Oklahoma City bombing, and Columbine. And Alan Alda, for some reason.
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"Just Joking" Justification
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"Just Joking" Justification: "Come On, Lighten Up, I'm Just Being A Total Asshole". "Bully Can't Believe Classmate Took 4 Straight Years Of Being Told To Kill Herself Seriously".
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Sealed Evil in a Can
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Sealed Evil in a Can: "Pope Francis Warns Seals On Jesus' Tomb Are Weakening".
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Road Trip Plot
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Road Trip Plot: Over the summer of 2017, Stan Kelly was stuck on one with his son, daughter-in-law, and grandchildren. He hated virtually all of it and, whether as a side-effect of his perpetual curmudgeonly attitude or due to other circumstances, it ended in his son's marriage collapsing and Stan fleeing early on a plane.
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Bigger Than Jesus
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Bigger Than Jesus: Published an apology in their corrections section after purportedly making such a remark, consequently revealing inverted intentions:
 The Onion (Website) / int_4930959c
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Scenery Porn
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Scenery Porn: "National Parks Closed For Annual Remajestification".
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Fish out of Temporal Water
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Fish out of Temporal Water: "Roman Centurion Crawling Out Of New York City Manhole In For One Wacky Adventure". Founder and editor of The Onion T. Herman Zweibel far surpasses a Disco Dan, being positively ancient (over 140 years old) and sheltered from modern life for a century by his severe decrepitude and distaste for his fellow man. He seems dimly aware of what's going on in the world, but for the most part, he approaches everything with the zealous tyranny of a Gilded Age robber baron — when he learns of the death of print and the new tycoons of social media, his first instinct is to have Zuckerberg and Musk killed.
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Be Yourself
 The Onion (Website) / int_4ae72307
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Be Yourself: Deconstructed in "Local Man Ruins Date By Just Being Himself".
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Stalking Is Love
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Stalking is Love: "Romantic-Comedy Behavior Gets Real-Life Man Arrested" involves the titular man being arrested for stalking his love interest during his Grand Romantic Gesture.
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The Snack Is More Interesting
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The Snack Is More Interesting: "Snacks Distract Lawmakers From Horrors of War".
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President Evil
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President Evil: "Obama: Help Us Destroy Jesus And Start A New Age Of Liberal Darkness".
 The Onion (Website) / int_4c554daf
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New Technology Is Evil
 The Onion (Website) / int_4c6205c5
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New Technology Is Evil: Kelly's cartoons often mock/demonize teenagers for using these, typically referring to the devices as "SOME GIZMO". Contrary to the intended message, it only makes Kelly himself look hopelessly behind the times — he's bemoaned the fall of VHS◊ in the past, and only embraced the DVD format when it began to concede to Blu-Ray.
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Terrorists Without a Cause
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Terrorists Without a Cause: "Conceptual Terrorists Encase Sears Tower In Jell-O".
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Black Comedy Rape
 The Onion (Website) / int_4c851777
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Black Comedy Rape: "Black Bear Attacks, Rapes Zookeeper" is a subversion, as the article's clownish treatment of the horrific subject matter was itself the joke.
 The Onion (Website) / int_4c851777
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Dedication
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The parody editorial cartoonist Stan Kelly displays traits of this frequently. In the book collection, he even dedicates it to himself for having the guts to "tell it like it is".
 The Onion (Website) / int_4d1b485d
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Throw It In!
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Throw It In!: In-universe with "Police Interruption Hastily Written Into Student Film".
 The Onion (Website) / int_4d422f71
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Grand Romantic Gesture
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Grand Romantic Gesture: Deconstructed in "Romantic-Comedy Behavior Gets Real-Life Man Arrested".
 The Onion (Website) / int_4dc13d51
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Stop Being Stereotypical
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Stop Being Stereotypical: "Chinese Laundry Owner Blasted For Reinforcing Negative Ethnic Stereotypes". "American Muslims To Fort Hood Shooter: 'Thanks A Lot, Asshole'".
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Repressed Memories
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Repressed Memories: One of the Jean Teasdale articles from Finest News Reporting shows that she repressed a memory of being sexually abused by a bully while in Catholic school; it comes back when she's watching The Rosie O'Donnell Show because Rosie reminds her of the bully, and results in her throwing a Precious Moments figure at the TV (she misses).
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Tailor-Made Prison
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Tailor-Made Prison: "Prisoners' Rights Group Protests Treatment Of Supervillains In Nation's Magnetic Detainment Cubes"
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Useless Accessory
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Useless Accessory: "Badass Surgeon Puts On Fingerless Latex Gloves Before Operating"
 The Onion (Website) / int_4e2d9f37
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 The Onion (Website) / int_4e3d253b
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Downer Ending
 The Onion (Website) / int_4e3d253b
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Downer Ending: See Mood Whiplash examples below, as well as "World Now Down To 5 Stories That Are Inspirational", which followed on from the Real Life arrest of double-amputee Olympic runner Oscar Pistorius for murder. Even the article has a downer ending when the number is reduced to four (a father heroically battling cancer turned out to be having an affair with an underage girl).
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 The Onion (Website) / int_4e70e128
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Evil Stole My Faith
 The Onion (Website) / int_4e70e128
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Evil Stole My Faith: One article had a Straw Loser whose very existence was an affront to both the theory of evolution (what purpose can this guy possibly serve?!) and the existence of a kind and loving god (If we're made in God's image, well...), with each side parading him around as the ultimate argument against the other.
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Wham Line
 The Onion (Website) / int_4e7c4536
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Wham Line: The very last line of the aforementioned "Cult Divided On Whether To Let Women Become Telepathic-Vision Clerics" article. "This whole argument will be moot in six days when we board up the windows and burn ourselves alive." From the Onion's Trump Documents "leak", "Theseus Protocol Memos": "Car Ride Devoted To Explaining What Things Will Be Different About Grandma This Visit", has Wendy Gritton telling her children that their grandmother's health has been declining. It ends with "At press time, Gritton and her kids had finally arrived at their grandmother's funeral."
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They Changed It, Now It Sucks!
 The Onion (Website) / int_4f4602da
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They Changed It, Now It Sucks!: In-universe with "NHL Woos Fans By Increasing Scoring With Bigger Nets, 3-Point Line".
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Interspecies Friendship
 The Onion (Website) / int_4f4bbeff
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Interspecies Friendship: "8 Unlikely Animal Friendships", a parody of one of the more common choices for clickbait articles.
 The Onion (Website) / int_4f4bbeff
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Shoddy Knockoff Product
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Shoddy Knockoff Product: "Yellowstone National Park Concerned About Competing 'Yello-Stone Natural Park' Built Right Across Street".
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I Have This Friend
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I Have This Friend: "Bush Asks Advice For This Friend Of His Who Invaded Iraq". "Political Talk Show Host Suddenly Very Interested In Manslaughter Law Loopholes".
 The Onion (Website) / int_4fb23aa8
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The Morlocks
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The Morlocks: "Hundreds Of Blind, Pallid Disney Characters Discovered Living In Caves Deep Within Space Mountain".
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Disproportionate Retribution
 The Onion (Website) / int_50b05d30
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Disproportionate Retribution: "Little Boy Heroically Shoots, Mutilates Burglar". In "Gaffe-Prone Biden Embarrasses Nation Yet Again By Sneezing During Meeting", the In the Know panelists harshly criticize Joe Biden for things like sneezing, tying his shoes and blinking. By the end, they're preparing to lynch him.
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Kill the Poor
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Kill the Poor: "RNC Builds Levee Out Of Poor People To Protect Convention Site". "Paul Ryan Slits Auto Mechanic's Throat To Kick Off GOP Purge Of Working Class". "Blood-Soaked Mayor Bloomberg Announces Homelessness No Longer A Problem In New York City".
 The Onion (Website) / int_5111ff0
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Fat Bastard
 The Onion (Website) / int_51300dbf
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Fat Bastard: Jeremiah Alden, the fattest man on the Mayflower and possible culprit of genetic obesity in America. Although his demeanor is noted as being "joyous and agreeable" by the other settlers, his laziness and great appetite meant that he tended to do nothing but sit around all day and eat all of the colony's supplies, which led to half of the Puritans starving to death that winter.
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Hurricane of Euphemisms
 The Onion (Website) / int_51561f43
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Hurricane of Euphemisms: "Renowned Hoo-Ha Doctor Wins Nobel Prize For Medical Advancements Down There".
 The Onion (Website) / int_51561f43
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 The Onion (Website) / int_515eeccc
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Sampling
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Sampling: "Nation's Rappers Down to Last Two Samples".
 The Onion (Website) / int_515eeccc
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Animal Metaphor
 The Onion (Website) / int_51df5ca1
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Animal Metaphor: An article has an entire family attempting to use the family dog as a metaphor for their relationship difficulties — the father for example saying that the dog feels confined and needs to run free, while the youngest child says the dog just wants some attention...
 The Onion (Website) / int_51df5ca1
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Joggers Find Death
 The Onion (Website) / int_51f336bf
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Joggers Find Death: "Nation's Joggers Sick of Finding Dead Bodies".
 The Onion (Website) / int_51f336bf
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_51f336bf
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The Onion (Website) / int_51f336bf
 The Onion (Website) / int_52a8d3dc
type
Pyromaniac
 The Onion (Website) / int_52a8d3dc
comment
Pyromaniac: "Top Ten Most Glorious Flames Of 2015".
 The Onion (Website) / int_52a8d3dc
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_52a8d3dc
 The Onion (Website) / int_52db461d
type
Significant Anagram
 The Onion (Website) / int_52db461d
comment
Significant Anagram: Dr. Tanas from Dr. Good is an anagram for Satan, whom he is heavily implied to be.
 The Onion (Website) / int_52db461d
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_52db461d
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_52db461d
 The Onion (Website) / int_530350d5
type
Trouble Entendre
 The Onion (Website) / int_530350d5
comment
Trouble Entendre: "Al Qaeda Also Fed Up With Ground Zero Construction Delays" is an example in and of itself.
 The Onion (Website) / int_530350d5
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_530350d5
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The Onion (Website) / int_530350d5
 The Onion (Website) / int_53224e46
type
Bookends
 The Onion (Website) / int_53224e46
comment
Bookends: The Onion opened Barack Obama's presidency with "Black Man Given Nation's Worst Job", and ended it with "Black Man Out Of Work"; both articles treat the presidency as just another undesirable, unpleasant job.
 The Onion (Website) / int_53224e46
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The Onion (Website) / int_53224e46
 The Onion (Website) / int_5345de5
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Strange-Syntax Speaker
 The Onion (Website) / int_5345de5
comment
Strange-Syntax Speaker: "Rules Grammar Change".
 The Onion (Website) / int_5345de5
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_5345de5
 The Onion (Website) / int_53830d
type
The Internet Is for Porn
 The Onion (Website) / int_53830d
comment
The Internet Is for Porn: "Naked Woman Picture Gains Popularity On Internet" (NSFW).
 The Onion (Website) / int_53830d
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_53830d
 The Onion (Website) / int_53e1ce4e
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Please Wake Up
 The Onion (Website) / int_53e1ce4e
comment
Please Wake Up: "Daddy Put In Bye-Bye Box".
 The Onion (Website) / int_53e1ce4e
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_53e1ce4e
 The Onion (Website) / int_5521ed05
type
No Animals Were Harmed
 The Onion (Website) / int_5521ed05
comment
No Animals Were Harmed: "Factory-Farm-To-Table Restaurant Proudly Serves Locally Tortured Animals"
 The Onion (Website) / int_5521ed05
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_5521ed05
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The Onion (Website) / int_5521ed05
 The Onion (Website) / int_55fa41e2
type
NietzscheWannabe
 The Onion (Website) / int_55fa41e2
comment
Nietzsche Wannabe: "Pre-Game Coin Toss Makes Jaguars Realize Randomness Of Life". "Existentialist Firefighter Delays 3 Deaths".
 The Onion (Website) / int_55fa41e2
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_55fa41e2
 The Onion (Website) / int_571bfe2
type
Super Serum
 The Onion (Website) / int_571bfe2
comment
Super Serum: "Clinton Injected With Highly-Unstable Experimental Growth Serum".
 The Onion (Website) / int_571bfe2
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_571bfe2
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The Onion (Website) / int_571bfe2
 The Onion (Website) / int_57a937f1
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Heävy Mëtal Ümlaut
 The Onion (Website) / int_57a937f1
comment
Heävy Mëtal Ümlaut: "Ünited Stätes Toughens Image with Umlauts".
 The Onion (Website) / int_57a937f1
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_57a937f1
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_57a937f1
 The Onion (Website) / int_581f6468
type
Hero of Another Story
 The Onion (Website) / int_581f6468
comment
Hero of Another Story: During his term as Secretary of State, articles involving John Kerry had him portrayed as though he was the protagonist of an action movie, and picked up right as the action started happening. The Supreme Court being semi-superheroes.
 The Onion (Website) / int_581f6468
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_581f6468
 The Onion (Website) / int_5859124f
type
Gruesome Goat
 The Onion (Website) / int_5859124f
comment
Gruesome Goat: In an article reporting on the U.S. Department of Evil's decision that all must die, the Department's Dread Secretary of Evil Hammond S. Reynolds is depicted as a humanoid with the head of a red-eyed goat.
 The Onion (Website) / int_5859124f
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The Onion (Website) / int_5859124f
 The Onion (Website) / int_5874eb12
type
Organic Technology
 The Onion (Website) / int_5874eb12
comment
Organic Technology: "Guatemalan Flight's Data-Recording Parrot May Hold Clues To The Crash". "Interim Apple Chief Under Fire After Unveiling Grotesque New MacBook".
 The Onion (Website) / int_5874eb12
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1.0
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_5874eb12
 The Onion (Website) / int_59907e4f
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Police Are Useless
 The Onion (Website) / int_59907e4f
comment
Police Are Useless: "Entire U.S. Police Force Flees Country After Hearing Gunman Inside Nation".
 The Onion (Website) / int_59907e4f
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_59907e4f
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The Onion (Website) / int_59907e4f
 The Onion (Website) / int_5a33cf5
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Future Loser
 The Onion (Website) / int_5a33cf5
comment
Future Loser: "Entertainment Scientists Warn Miley Cyrus Will Be Depleted By 2013".
 The Onion (Website) / int_5a33cf5
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_5a33cf5
 The Onion (Website) / int_5a59b3a1
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Hulk Speak
 The Onion (Website) / int_5a59b3a1
comment
Hulk Speak: "Why No One Want Make Hulk 2?".
 The Onion (Website) / int_5a59b3a1
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_5a59b3a1
 The Onion (Website) / int_5ad80bf8
type
It's All My Fault
 The Onion (Website) / int_5ad80bf8
comment
It's All My Fault: "Soaring U.S. Divorce Rate Blamed On Local 11-Year-Old".
 The Onion (Website) / int_5ad80bf8
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_5ad80bf8
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_5ad80bf8
 The Onion (Website) / int_5be7bd04
type
Raised by Wolves
 The Onion (Website) / int_5be7bd04
comment
Raised by Wolves: Parodied in the Onion News Network video "Girl Raised From Birth By Wolf Blitzer Taken Into Protective Custody". The girl in question is a half-human, half-Wolf Blitzer who always wears pressed suits and slicked-back hair, talks in a stilted news-anchor voice, and is calmed by the use of a lint roller.
 The Onion (Website) / int_5be7bd04
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 The Onion (Website) / int_5be7bd04
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The Onion (Website) / int_5be7bd04
 The Onion (Website) / int_5e2e55e4
type
The Casanova
 The Onion (Website) / int_5e2e55e4
comment
The Casanova: Recurring columnist Smoove B is basically a sexy R&B song personified. His columns detail the art of seduction and his various sexual encounters past and planned.
 The Onion (Website) / int_5e2e55e4
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_5e2e55e4
 The Onion (Website) / int_5f5aa5af
type
Bulungi
 The Onion (Website) / int_5f5aa5af
comment
Bulungi: The Trope Namer on fictitious African countries originated in this article. "U.S. Shocked Andorra Not In Africa", where the U.S. State Department accidentally sends aid to the tiny European principality of Andorra after hearing their vaguely African-sounding name and just assuming they were a famine-stricken warzone. It turns out that the map they use has only five countries — "Congo" (taking up most of the northern continent), "Mumbambu", "???", "South Africa", and a Madagascar-like landmass named "Claw Island".
 The Onion (Website) / int_5f5aa5af
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_5f5aa5af
 The Onion (Website) / int_5fdf73bc
type
Photographic Memory
 The Onion (Website) / int_5fdf73bc
comment
Photographic Memory: "Area Man Can Remember Exactly Where He Was, What He Was Doing When He Assassinated John F. Kennedy".
 The Onion (Website) / int_5fdf73bc
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_5fdf73bc
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The Onion (Website) / int_5fdf73bc
 The Onion (Website) / int_5ff56a1f
type
Long List
 The Onion (Website) / int_5ff56a1f
comment
Long List: The list of people not to be at the end of "Tips For Not Condemning Millions Of Americans To Sickness And Death".
 The Onion (Website) / int_5ff56a1f
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_5ff56a1f
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_5ff56a1f
 The Onion (Website) / int_60414102
type
Zombie Apocalypse
 The Onion (Website) / int_60414102
comment
Zombie Apocalypse: "Study Reveals Pittsburgh Unprepared For Full-Scale Zombie Attack". "Low Voter Turnout Blamed On Election-Day Zombie Attacks".
 The Onion (Website) / int_60414102
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_60414102
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The Onion (Website) / int_60414102
 The Onion (Website) / int_6136e02f
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Brain Food
 The Onion (Website) / int_6136e02f
comment
Brain Food: "Zombie Nutritionist Recommends All-Brain Diet".
 The Onion (Website) / int_6136e02f
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_6136e02f
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The Onion (Website) / int_6136e02f
 The Onion (Website) / int_615a96fb
type
Immoral Reality Show
 The Onion (Website) / int_615a96fb
comment
Immoral Reality Show: Parodied with Sex House, in which six contestants live together in a isolated house, which should hopefully results in lots of sex and drama and high ratings for the network, but with The Onion being The Onion, things quickly take a turn for the worse.
 The Onion (Website) / int_615a96fb
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The Onion (Website) / int_615a96fb
 The Onion (Website) / int_615cad18
type
Outdoor Bath Peeping
 The Onion (Website) / int_615cad18
comment
Outdoor Bath Peeping: "Relationship Experts Recommend Single Women Try Bathing In Open Stream Until Suitor Glimpses Them Through Trees".
 The Onion (Website) / int_615cad18
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 The Onion (Website) / int_615cad18
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The Onion (Website) / int_615cad18
 The Onion (Website) / int_617f0563
type
Heel–Face Turn
 The Onion (Website) / int_617f0563
comment
Heel–Face Turn: "Formerly Evil Wrestler Realizes Error Of His Ways".
 The Onion (Website) / int_617f0563
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 The Onion (Website) / int_617f0563
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The Onion (Website) / int_617f0563
 The Onion (Website) / int_61c60bbb
type
No Product Safety Standards
 The Onion (Website) / int_61c60bbb
comment
No Product Safety Standards: Has a few parodies of this, such as one video where a munitions manufacturer apologized for hollow-point rounds not exploding properly, with animations showing the problem.
 The Onion (Website) / int_61c60bbb
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_61c60bbb
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The Onion (Website) / int_61c60bbb
 The Onion (Website) / int_62a2d3d7
type
Sequelitis
 The Onion (Website) / int_62a2d3d7
comment
Sequelitis: In-universe. "Vindictive Movie Studio Threatens To Make 'Coyote Ugly' Sequel". "Final Minutes Of Last Harry Potter Movie To Be Split Into Seven Separate Films".
 The Onion (Website) / int_62a2d3d7
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_62a2d3d7
 The Onion (Website) / int_6331ba26
type
Plot Hole
 The Onion (Website) / int_6331ba26
comment
Plot Hole: "Hollywood Maintenance Crews Sent Out To Patch Up Film Industry’s Plotholes".
 The Onion (Website) / int_6331ba26
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_6331ba26
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The Onion (Website) / int_6331ba26
 The Onion (Website) / int_64713b04
type
Pedophile Priest
 The Onion (Website) / int_64713b04
comment
Pedophile Priest: "Biblical Scholars Find Evidence Church Covered Up For 3 Wise Men Who Molested Baby Jesus". "U.K. Cardinal Resigns In Wake Of—Get This—Sex Abuse Allegations".
 The Onion (Website) / int_64713b04
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_64713b04
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The Onion (Website) / int_64713b04
 The Onion (Website) / int_64d3ffd8
type
The Extremist Was Right
 The Onion (Website) / int_64d3ffd8
comment
The Extremist Was Right: Some articles, such as "Harry Potter Books Spark Rise In Satanism Among Children", essentially portray some paranoid conspiracy theorists as being right.
 The Onion (Website) / int_64d3ffd8
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_64d3ffd8
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The Onion (Website) / int_64d3ffd8
 The Onion (Website) / int_652c32fa
type
Super-Deformed
 The Onion (Website) / int_652c32fa
comment
Super-Deformed: Deconstructed. "Bratz Dolls May Give Young Girls Unrealistic Expectations Of Head Size" explores the ramifications of even the mild form (4 heads) seen in Bratz dolls.
 The Onion (Website) / int_652c32fa
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_652c32fa
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The Onion (Website) / int_652c32fa
 The Onion (Website) / int_661a66d8
type
Animal Wrongs Group
 The Onion (Website) / int_661a66d8
comment
Animal Wrongs Group: "Heroic PETA Commandos Kill 49, Save Rabbit" involves PETA raiding a lab and killing scientists to save a rabbit. To make matters worse, said rabbit gets eaten almost immediately after they free it.
 The Onion (Website) / int_661a66d8
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 The Onion (Website) / int_661a66d8
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The Onion (Website) / int_661a66d8
 The Onion (Website) / int_665d24fb
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Did You Die?
 The Onion (Website) / int_665d24fb
comment
Did You Die?: "Candidate May Have Lied About Heroic Death In Vietnam".
 The Onion (Website) / int_665d24fb
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 The Onion (Website) / int_665d24fb
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The Onion (Website) / int_665d24fb
 The Onion (Website) / int_66805a18
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Race for Your Love
 The Onion (Website) / int_66805a18
comment
Race for Your Love: "Man Running Toward Departing Train Must Have Finally Realized He Loves Her".
 The Onion (Website) / int_66805a18
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_66805a18
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The Onion (Website) / int_66805a18
 The Onion (Website) / int_68069489
type
Nipple and Dimed
 The Onion (Website) / int_68069489
comment
Nipple and Dimed: The article "U.S. Children Still Traumatized One Year After Seeing Partially Exposed Breast On TV" satirizes the whole Janet Jackson thing and the question raised here.
 The Onion (Website) / int_68069489
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 The Onion (Website) / int_68069489
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The Onion (Website) / int_68069489
 The Onion (Website) / int_68a5e1c3
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Humans Are Psychic in the Future
 The Onion (Website) / int_68a5e1c3
comment
Humans Are Psychic in the Future: "Report: World's Lone Non-Telepathic Individual Still Completely Unaware".
 The Onion (Website) / int_68a5e1c3
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 The Onion (Website) / int_68a5e1c3
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The Onion (Website) / int_68a5e1c3
 The Onion (Website) / int_6941e30b
type
Room Full of Crazy
 The Onion (Website) / int_6941e30b
comment
Room Full of Crazy: "Melania Trump Stumbles Upon Dozens Of Husband’s Haunting, Macabre Self-Portraits".
 The Onion (Website) / int_6941e30b
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_6941e30b
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The Onion (Website) / int_6941e30b
 The Onion (Website) / int_6a0297a8
type
What Do You Mean, It's Not Didactic?
 The Onion (Website) / int_6a0297a8
comment
What Do You Mean, It's Not Didactic?: In-Universe. "I Appreciate The Muppets On A Much Deeper Level Than You". "Freshman Term Paper Discovers Something Totally New About 'Silas Marner'". "Grad Student Deconstructs Take-Out Menu". Real Life example: An article was used for the 2005 English Language and Composition Advanced Placement exam... meaning that there was actually something to analyze in that article.
 The Onion (Website) / int_6a0297a8
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_6a0297a8
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The Onion (Website) / int_6a0297a8
 The Onion (Website) / int_6aaf4011
type
Apathetic Student
 The Onion (Website) / int_6aaf4011
comment
Apathetic Student: Played for Laughs in "Patriotic Teen Fails Spanish", wherein a lazy student manages to rouse public support when he flunks his Spanish class so he can smoke cigarettes, which is misinterpreted by the right-wing lobby as a grand patriotic protest. The kid really is just obnoxious and stupid.
 The Onion (Website) / int_6aaf4011
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 The Onion (Website) / int_6aaf4011
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The Onion (Website) / int_6aaf4011
 The Onion (Website) / int_6b05b601
type
Jerkass Has a Point
 The Onion (Website) / int_6b05b601
comment
Jerkass Has a Point: Jean Teasdale's husband Rick may be a hard-drinking jerk, but he's also Closer to Earth than Jean (which isn't difficult, to be honest), he gets upset with her for squandering their money on things like Precious Moments figures when they're trying to get out of debt.
 The Onion (Website) / int_6b05b601
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_6b05b601
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The Onion (Website) / int_6b05b601
 The Onion (Website) / int_6b35bdff
type
Serious Business
 The Onion (Website) / int_6b35bdff
comment
Serious Business: "Modern-Day Martin Luther Nails 95 Comment Cards To IHOP Door". Anything by ubergeek Larry Groznic, whose specialty is asserting to those less enlightened than himself that he is Nerdier Than Thou. Example: "When You Are Ready To Have A Serious Conversation About Green Lantern, You Have My E-Mail Address". "General Mills' 'Star Wars: Episode II' Cereal Gets It All Wrong". "Americans Bravely Go To Polls Despite Threat Of Electing Congress". "I Shall Scramble Two With Bacon When The Muse Moves Me". "Helvetica Bold Oblique Sweeps Fontys". "What Foolhardy Mortal Thinks He Can Shelve Faster Than I?" "Juicer Infomercial Sweeps Early Morning Emmys". In many other stories, the event itself is entirely plausible; the joke is simply that anyone would consider it newsworthy: "Whaler Sandwich 'Not Sitting Too Good' with Area Man". "Nation Struggles To Understand Why Area Pie Didn't Come Out Right". "Honey, I'm Not Going To Stand Here And Debate The Merits Of The First Two B-52's LPs In Front Of The Whole Supermarket".
 The Onion (Website) / int_6b35bdff
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_6b35bdff
 The Onion (Website) / int_6b723294
type
Techno Babble
 The Onion (Website) / int_6b723294
comment
Techno Babble: "Raving Lunatic Obviously Took Some Advanced Physics". "Sci-fi Writer Attributes Everything Mysterious To 'Quantum Flux'".
 The Onion (Website) / int_6b723294
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_6b723294
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 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_6b723294
 The Onion (Website) / int_6b8c8d72
type
Our Slogan Is Terrible
 The Onion (Website) / int_6b8c8d72
comment
Our Slogan Is Terrible: "New 'Small 'n' Flaccid' Ad Campaign Least Successful Ever".
 The Onion (Website) / int_6b8c8d72
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_6b8c8d72
 The Onion (Website) / int_6b983bf7
type
Unstoppable Rage
 The Onion (Website) / int_6b983bf7
comment
Unstoppable Rage: "Twelve Customers Gunned Down In Convenience-Store Clerk's Imagination".
 The Onion (Website) / int_6b983bf7
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_6b983bf7
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_6b983bf7
 The Onion (Website) / int_6bfc52a3
type
A Wizard Did It
 The Onion (Website) / int_6bfc52a3
comment
A Wizard Did It: "Sci-fi Writer Attributes Everything Mysterious To 'Quantum Flux'".
 The Onion (Website) / int_6bfc52a3
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_6bfc52a3
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_6bfc52a3
 The Onion (Website) / int_6cdc784f
type
You No Take Candle
 The Onion (Website) / int_6cdc784f
comment
You No Take Candle: "Fire Hot" is presented like a caveman talking about fire. "Republicans Reach Out To Women With New 'No Punch Pretty Lady' Bill" features a congressman talking like this. "This What World Like Now" is a title-only example.
 The Onion (Website) / int_6cdc784f
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_6cdc784f
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_6cdc784f
 The Onion (Website) / int_6d332aea
type
Driven to Suicide
 The Onion (Website) / int_6d332aea
comment
Driven to Suicide: "Bully Can't Believe Classmate Took 4 Years Of Being Told To Kill Herself Seriously", and "Gay Conversion Therapists Claim Most Patients Fully Straight By The Time They Commit Suicide".
 The Onion (Website) / int_6d332aea
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_6d332aea
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_6d332aea
 The Onion (Website) / int_6d892421
type
Teacher/Student Romance
 The Onion (Website) / int_6d892421
comment
Teacher/Student Romance: "Lonely Teacher, Outcast Student Begin Somewhat Endearing Sexual Relationship". Also includes Shipper on Deck.
 The Onion (Website) / int_6d892421
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_6d892421
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_6d892421
 The Onion (Website) / int_6dc206c9
type
Marathon Level
 The Onion (Website) / int_6dc206c9
comment
Marathon Level: "NASCAR Considers Single 21,500 Mile Race For 2011 Season".
 The Onion (Website) / int_6dc206c9
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_6dc206c9
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_6dc206c9
 The Onion (Website) / int_6dc84b96
type
The Tetris Effect
 The Onion (Website) / int_6dc84b96
comment
The Tetris Effect: "Area CEO Likes To Think Of Family As Small, Close-Knit Business".
 The Onion (Website) / int_6dc84b96
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_6dc84b96
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_6dc84b96
 The Onion (Website) / int_6e37c196
type
Once Done, Never Forgotten
 The Onion (Website) / int_6e37c196
comment
Once Done, Never Forgotten: "Everyone Still Remembers Time You Threw Up In 5th Grade". "Man Who Shit Pants In Grade School Awarded Purple Heart". "Man Who Got Shit Together 5 Years Ago Still Viewed As Lovable Fuckup By Friends, Family". "All Of Man's Accomplishments Overshadowed By Hefty Birth Weight".
 The Onion (Website) / int_6e37c196
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_6e37c196
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_6e37c196
 The Onion (Website) / int_6ee10e0
type
My Greatest Failure
 The Onion (Website) / int_6ee10e0
comment
My Greatest Failure: "Mall Justice Is Swift And Harsh".
 The Onion (Website) / int_6ee10e0
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_6ee10e0
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_6ee10e0
 The Onion (Website) / int_6fba77ef
type
Moon-Landing Hoax
 The Onion (Website) / int_6fba77ef
comment
Moon-Landing Hoax: "Conspiracy Theorist Convinces Neil Armstrong Moon Landing Was Faked". Ironically, the story was reprinted by two Bangladesh newspapersnote The Daily Manab Zami and New Nation as real news.
 The Onion (Website) / int_6fba77ef
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_6fba77ef
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_6fba77ef
 The Onion (Website) / int_6fc192ef
type
Jerkass Woobie
 The Onion (Website) / int_6fc192ef
comment
Jerkass Woobie: In-Universe, "Teen With Cancer Vows It Won't Keep Her From Being Mean, Moody Little Shit".
 The Onion (Website) / int_6fc192ef
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_6fc192ef
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_6fc192ef
 The Onion (Website) / int_701c2f6
type
Love Hotels
 The Onion (Website) / int_701c2f6
comment
Love Hotels: "Longtime Married Couple Subjected To Excruciating 'Romantic Weekend Getaway'".
 The Onion (Website) / int_701c2f6
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_701c2f6
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_701c2f6
 The Onion (Website) / int_7040b6bc
type
Understatement
 The Onion (Website) / int_7040b6bc
comment
Understatement: "Tensions Mount After North Korea Destroys All Of Asia".
 The Onion (Website) / int_7040b6bc
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_7040b6bc
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_7040b6bc
 The Onion (Website) / int_711e9c91
type
Network Decay
 The Onion (Website) / int_711e9c91
comment
Network Decay: In-Universe, "Learning Channel Switches to All-Gilligan Format".
 The Onion (Website) / int_711e9c91
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_711e9c91
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_711e9c91
 The Onion (Website) / int_7142b38a
type
The Grim Reaper
 The Onion (Website) / int_7142b38a
comment
The Grim Reaper: Frequently appears in Kelly's cartoons, where he's used as overblown symbolism that things Stan Kelly doesn't like are evil and wrong.
 The Onion (Website) / int_7142b38a
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_7142b38a
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_7142b38a
 The Onion (Website) / int_71642c70
type
Viewers Are Goldfish
 The Onion (Website) / int_71642c70
comment
Viewers Are Goldfish: "FCC: All Programming To Be Broadcast In ADHDTV By 2007".
 The Onion (Website) / int_71642c70
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_71642c70
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_71642c70
 The Onion (Website) / int_71e8a5c5
type
Trauma Conga Line
 The Onion (Website) / int_71e8a5c5
comment
Trauma Conga Line: Jim Haggerty in the Porkin' Across America series is subjected to this along with a decent amount of Body Horror and Sanity Slippage. Besides losing his dog, car, house and the love of his entire family throughout the progress of the show, his continually building injuries force him to have to replace parts of his body with pig innards. By the final episode, he's so become so disparaged and mutilated that he embraces becoming a pig and goes to live on a farm with the rest of his kind, even disregarding an opportunity to retake his hosting position on Today Now! and an awards show in favor his new "family".
 The Onion (Website) / int_71e8a5c5
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_71e8a5c5
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_71e8a5c5
 The Onion (Website) / int_722a6ef4
type
Game Show
 The Onion (Website) / int_722a6ef4
comment
Game Show: Spoofed in various articles. Jeopardy!: "Alex Trebek Deftly Prolongs Agonizing Small Talk". "Ken Jennings Mistaken For Subway's Jared Again". "'Jeopardy!' Viewer Had No Idea He Knew So Much About Weasels". The Price Is Right: "'Price Is Right' Demands Pullout Of U.S. Forces". "What Am I Going To Do With All These Dog Uteruses?". Wheel of Fortune: "Desperate 'Wheel Of Fortune' Receives Approval To Use Swear Words". "'Wheel Of Fortune' Contestants Hit Hard As Vowel Prices Skyrocket".
 The Onion (Website) / int_722a6ef4
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_722a6ef4
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_722a6ef4
 The Onion (Website) / int_723be11b
type
Villain Has a Point
 The Onion (Website) / int_723be11b
comment
Villain Has a Point: "U.S. Authorities Can't Really Fault Al-Qaeda For Deadly Bombing Of Carnival Cruise Ship": "Hostage Negotiator Has To Admit Terrorist Has Good Point":
 The Onion (Website) / int_723be11b
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_723be11b
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_723be11b
 The Onion (Website) / int_7241785e
type
You Can't Fight Fate
 The Onion (Website) / int_7241785e
comment
You Can't Fight Fate: Most of the horoscope entries, although this list's Scorpio is probably the most blunt example. Inverted in this list's Pisces.
 The Onion (Website) / int_7241785e
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_7241785e
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_7241785e
 The Onion (Website) / int_72852a93
type
Henpecked Husband
 The Onion (Website) / int_72852a93
comment
Henpecked Husband: "Empowered Man Murders Controlling Wife In Lifetime For Men Original Movie".
 The Onion (Website) / int_72852a93
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_72852a93
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_72852a93
 The Onion (Website) / int_72856b70
type
Godzilla Threshold
 The Onion (Website) / int_72856b70
comment
Godzilla Threshold: "Last Ditch Climate Change Plan Provides Locations of Weapons, Current Whereabouts of Oil Executives".
 The Onion (Website) / int_72856b70
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_72856b70
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_72856b70
 The Onion (Website) / int_734a416a
type
Dinner Order Flub
 The Onion (Website) / int_734a416a
comment
Dinner Order Flub: In Our Dumb World's entry on Burkina Faso, there's a joke about the very low literacy rate of that country when one of their diplomats tries to order a notice that an extra gratuity may be charged for large groups.
 The Onion (Website) / int_734a416a
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_734a416a
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_734a416a
 The Onion (Website) / int_73f79f91
type
Released to Elsewhere
 The Onion (Website) / int_73f79f91
comment
Released to Elsewhere: "We Gave Rex To A Nice Farm Family vs. They Had Me Put To Sleep At The Vet". "Packers Tell Fans They Gave Favre to a Nice Farm Family". Subverted at the end of "Fire Consumes Big Happy Farm Where Families Send Sick Dogs To Run Free And Play":
 The Onion (Website) / int_73f79f91
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-0.3
 The Onion (Website) / int_73f79f91
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_73f79f91
 The Onion (Website) / int_74149c93
type
Epic Rocking
 The Onion (Website) / int_74149c93
comment
Epic Rocking: "Carrie Underwood Releases Complex, Multi-Part Prog Rock Inspired 'Sunday Night Football' Theme Song."
 The Onion (Website) / int_74149c93
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_74149c93
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_74149c93
 The Onion (Website) / int_7426582d
type
Token Minority
 The Onion (Website) / int_7426582d
comment
Token Minority: "Black Guy Photoshopped In". As 11points demonstrates, this is Truth in Television.
 The Onion (Website) / int_7426582d
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_7426582d
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_7426582d
 The Onion (Website) / int_743d2893
type
The Woobie
 The Onion (Website) / int_743d2893
comment
The Woobie: In-Universe, "Awkward New International Student Saw His Entire Family Murdered In The Congo".
 The Onion (Website) / int_743d2893
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_743d2893
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_743d2893
 The Onion (Website) / int_74b85afd
type
If You're So Evil, Eat This Kitten!
 The Onion (Website) / int_74b85afd
comment
If You're So Evil, Eat This Kitten!: Inverted in a report on new financial regulations, among them requiring stock traders to pass a "Kitten and Hammer Ethics Test".
 The Onion (Website) / int_74b85afd
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_74b85afd
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_74b85afd
 The Onion (Website) / int_74c1b6f4
type
Flyover Country
 The Onion (Website) / int_74c1b6f4
comment
Flyover Country: "Indianapolis Announces Really Embarrassing Bid For 2020 Summer Olympics".
 The Onion (Website) / int_74c1b6f4
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_74c1b6f4
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_74c1b6f4
 The Onion (Website) / int_75196a1d
type
Translation by Volume
 The Onion (Website) / int_75196a1d
comment
Translation by Volume: This article on traveling abroad advises that shouting at foreigners is useful, along with many other helpful tips for American tourists.
 The Onion (Website) / int_75196a1d
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_75196a1d
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_75196a1d
 The Onion (Website) / int_755ecb56
type
Infraction Distraction
 The Onion (Website) / int_755ecb56
comment
Infraction Distraction: "[Andrew] Cuomo Increasingly Desperate To Shift Focus Back Onto Nursing Home Deaths".
 The Onion (Website) / int_755ecb56
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_755ecb56
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_755ecb56
 The Onion (Website) / int_7582930a
type
Hollywood Science
 The Onion (Website) / int_7582930a
comment
Hollywood Science: "Coal Lobby warns Wind Farms may blow Earth off-orbit".
 The Onion (Website) / int_7582930a
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_7582930a
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_7582930a
 The Onion (Website) / int_75f626a5
type
Nostalgia Filter
 The Onion (Website) / int_75f626a5
comment
Nostalgia Filter: Mocked In-Universe with "10 Things That Will Make You SUPER Nostalgic for The '90s", a 2013 slideshow with real photos of such great things as the Rwandan genocide, the fiery end of the Waco siege, the Oklahoma City bombing, and Columbine. And Alan Alda, for some reason. "Red Sox Announce Plans To Return Fenway To Original 1912 Conditions".
 The Onion (Website) / int_75f626a5
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_75f626a5
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_75f626a5
 The Onion (Website) / int_764ba6ce
type
Hostility on the Set
 The Onion (Website) / int_764ba6ce
comment
Hostility on the Set: In-universe: "Steven Spielberg Recalls Coming To Blows with E.T. On Film Set".
 The Onion (Website) / int_764ba6ce
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_764ba6ce
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_764ba6ce
 The Onion (Website) / int_767caf1f
type
Multiple Demographic Appeal
 The Onion (Website) / int_767caf1f
comment
Multiple Demographic Appeal: "Adults Go Wild Over Latest In Children's Picture Book Series".
 The Onion (Website) / int_767caf1f
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_767caf1f
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_767caf1f
 The Onion (Website) / int_768fb522
type
Side Effects Include...
 The Onion (Website) / int_768fb522
comment
Side Effects Include...: "Pfizer Launches 'Zoloft for Everything' Ad Campaign".
 The Onion (Website) / int_768fb522
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_768fb522
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_768fb522
 The Onion (Website) / int_76d233f9
type
Straw Feminist
 The Onion (Website) / int_76d233f9
comment
Straw Feminist: "I Don't Support Feminism If It Means Murdering All Men".
 The Onion (Website) / int_76d233f9
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_76d233f9
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_76d233f9
 The Onion (Website) / int_775a1af6
type
Married to the Job
 The Onion (Website) / int_775a1af6
comment
Married to the Job: "Tom Coughlin Retires From Family To Spend More Time With Team".
 The Onion (Website) / int_775a1af6
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_775a1af6
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_775a1af6
 The Onion (Website) / int_77ed6b7d
type
Troubling Unchildlike Behavior
 The Onion (Website) / int_77ed6b7d
comment
Troubling Unchildlike Behavior: Lucas Armitage in "Little Boy Heroically Shoots, Mutliates Burglar". Even the host gets a bit uncomfortable as Lucas stares into the camera and says, "I want the blood."
 The Onion (Website) / int_77ed6b7d
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_77ed6b7d
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_77ed6b7d
 The Onion (Website) / int_7815ba15
type
N-Word Privileges
 The Onion (Website) / int_7815ba15
comment
N-Word Privileges: "God Finally Gives Shout-Out Back To All His Niggaz".
 The Onion (Website) / int_7815ba15
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_7815ba15
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_7815ba15
 The Onion (Website) / int_7831b670
type
Gaia's Vengeance
 The Onion (Website) / int_7831b670
comment
Gaia's Vengeance: "Scott Pruitt Nervously Picks Up Walking Pace as Hundreds of Whooping Cranes Begin Silently Perching Around Him".
 The Onion (Website) / int_7831b670
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_7831b670
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_7831b670
 The Onion (Website) / int_7886d4d0
type
December–December Romance
 The Onion (Website) / int_7886d4d0
comment
December–December Romance: "Ruth Bader Ginsburg Flirting With 67-Year-Old Intern Again".
 The Onion (Website) / int_7886d4d0
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_7886d4d0
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_7886d4d0
 The Onion (Website) / int_78c85191
type
Grapes of Luxury
 The Onion (Website) / int_78c85191
comment
Grapes of Luxury: "Obama Fed Grapes While Urging Press Conference To Enjoy Orgy".
 The Onion (Website) / int_78c85191
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_78c85191
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_78c85191
 The Onion (Website) / int_792b66e2
type
Periphery Demographic
 The Onion (Website) / int_792b66e2
comment
Periphery Demographic: In-universe. "Children, Creepy Middle-Aged Weirdos Swept Up In 'Harry Potter' Craze". "Man Not Belonging To Movie's Target Demographic Escorted From Theater By Hollywood Officials". "Adults Go Wild Over Latest In Children's Picture Book Series".
 The Onion (Website) / int_792b66e2
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_792b66e2
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Onion (Website) / int_792b66e2
 The Onion (Website) / int_7960ab92
type
Sanity Ball
 The Onion (Website) / int_7960ab92
comment
Sanity Ball: The various recurring guests and hosts on In The Know take turns holding this between different segments and being the Only Sane Man with any actual knowledge regarding the issue. In other segments though everyone is equally uninformed and holding the Idiot Ball.
 The Onion (Website) / int_7960ab92
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_7960ab92
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_7960ab92
 The Onion (Website) / int_79f6799d
type
Political Cartoons
 The Onion (Website) / int_79f6799d
comment
In the Stan Kelly Political Cartoons: The Statue of Liberty crying. Kelly being an avid fan of Star Trek: The Original Series, the kind who hates J. J. Abrams with a passion. invoked Kelly's massive case of professional envy towards the late Charles Schulz, the creator of Peanuts, consistently describing him as an "overrated, talentless hack" and always depicting him as burning in Fire and Brimstone Hell.
 The Onion (Website) / int_79f6799d
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_79f6799d
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_79f6799d
 The Onion (Website) / int_7a143509
type
Shell-Shocked Veteran
 The Onion (Website) / int_7a143509
comment
Shell-Shocked Veteran: "George W. Bush Debuts New Paintings Of Dogs, Friends, Ghost of Iraqi Child That Follows Him Everywhere".
 The Onion (Website) / int_7a143509
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_7a143509
featureConfidence
1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_7a143509
 The Onion (Website) / int_7a1856ba
type
I Reject Your Reality
 The Onion (Website) / int_7a1856ba
comment
I Reject Your Reality: In the article "Study: Vaccines Don't Cause Autism, Even in High-Risk Kids," a study reports that vaccines are not linked to autism, even in high-risk children, and the article asks some people what they think about the study. A woman named Rosemary Woods says to let her know when there's a study that shows what she knows in her heart.
 The Onion (Website) / int_7a1856ba
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_7a1856ba
 The Onion (Website) / int_7a265daa
type
Eagleland
 The Onion (Website) / int_7a265daa
comment
Eagleland: Both types at once, in "American Public Actually Kind Of Endearing In Some Ways". Type 2: "Has Obama Failed To Reduce Hostility Toward Obnoxious Americans Abroad?"
 The Onion (Website) / int_7a265daa
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_7a265daa
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The Onion (Website) / int_7a265daa
 The Onion (Website) / int_7a3dd888
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Real Men Wear Pink
 The Onion (Website) / int_7a3dd888
comment
Real Men Wear Pink: "New Texas-Style Yogurt To Feed Man-Size Hunger For Yogurt".
 The Onion (Website) / int_7a3dd888
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_7a3dd888
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_7a3dd888
 The Onion (Website) / int_7a5f720f
type
Sturgeon's Law
 The Onion (Website) / int_7a5f720f
comment
Sturgeon's Law: "Internet Scam Alert: Most 'Kickstarter' Projects Just Useless Crap".
 The Onion (Website) / int_7a5f720f
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_7a5f720f
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_7a5f720f
 The Onion (Website) / int_7bb1296b
type
"Rashomon"-Style
 The Onion (Website) / int_7bb1296b
comment
"Rashomon"-Style: Point/Counterpoint, particularly "European Men Are So Much More Romantic Than American Men vs. American Women Studying In Europe Are Unbelievably Easy".
 The Onion (Website) / int_7bb1296b
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_7bb1296b
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 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_7bb1296b
 The Onion (Website) / int_7cd98af5
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Potty Failure
 The Onion (Website) / int_7cd98af5
comment
Potty Failure: The Capricorn of this horoscope list.
 The Onion (Website) / int_7cd98af5
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_7cd98af5
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The Onion (Website) / int_7cd98af5
 The Onion (Website) / int_7d34f23a
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Reckless Gun Usage
 The Onion (Website) / int_7d34f23a
comment
Reckless Gun Usage: "8-Year-Old Accidentally Exercises Second Amendment Rights".
 The Onion (Website) / int_7d34f23a
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_7d34f23a
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The Onion (Website) / int_7d34f23a
 The Onion (Website) / int_7d89315b
type
"The Reason You Suck" Speech
 The Onion (Website) / int_7d89315b
comment
"The Reason You Suck" Speech: "New Study Finds It Is Impossible To Lose Weight, No One Has Ever Done It, And Those Who Are Trying Should Give Up". "Going-Out-Of-Business Sign Thanks Neighborhood For 3 Months Of No Support Whatsoever".
 The Onion (Website) / int_7d89315b
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_7d89315b
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The Onion (Website) / int_7d89315b
 The Onion (Website) / int_7de3aec2
type
What Does She See in Him?
 The Onion (Website) / int_7de3aec2
comment
What Does She See in Him?: "Relationship Experts Still No Closer To Discovering What Scarlett Johansson Sees In Colin Jost".
 The Onion (Website) / int_7de3aec2
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_7de3aec2
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 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_7de3aec2
 The Onion (Website) / int_7e6c0522
type
Off with His Head!
 The Onion (Website) / int_7e6c0522
comment
Off with His Head!: "White House Jester Beheaded For Making Fun Of Soaring National Debt". "Ohio Replaces Lethal Injection With Humane New Head-Ripping-Off Machine".
 The Onion (Website) / int_7e6c0522
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_7e6c0522
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_7e6c0522
 The Onion (Website) / int_7eaf99d
type
Malevolent Architecture
 The Onion (Website) / int_7eaf99d
comment
Malevolent Architecture: "Video-Game Characters Denounce Randomly-Placed Swinging Blades". "'Not Quite Perfect' McDonald's Opens In Illinois Outlet Mall".
 The Onion (Website) / int_7eaf99d
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_7eaf99d
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 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_7eaf99d
 The Onion (Website) / int_7ef08424
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Quantum Mechanics Can Do Anything
 The Onion (Website) / int_7ef08424
comment
Quantum Mechanics Can Do Anything: "Sci-fi Writer Attributes Everything Mysterious To 'Quantum Flux'".
 The Onion (Website) / int_7ef08424
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_7ef08424
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_7ef08424
 The Onion (Website) / int_7f3e75b6
type
Look on My Works, Ye Mighty, and Despair
 The Onion (Website) / int_7f3e75b6
comment
Look on My Works, Ye Mighty, and Despair: "New Chuck E. Cheese Restaurant Forged In Iron And Blood".
 The Onion (Website) / int_7f3e75b6
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_7f3e75b6
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_7f3e75b6
 The Onion (Website) / int_7f8fd503
type
Lonely at the Top
 The Onion (Website) / int_7f8fd503
comment
Lonely at the Top: "Rich Guy Feeling Left Out Of Recession".
 The Onion (Website) / int_7f8fd503
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_7f8fd503
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_7f8fd503
 The Onion (Website) / int_80133ca4
type
Trial Balloon Question
 The Onion (Website) / int_80133ca4
comment
Trial Balloon Question: "NASA Curious How Folks Would Feel If They Hypothetically Already Launched A Manned Mars Mission That Didn’t Go So Hot".
 The Onion (Website) / int_80133ca4
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_80133ca4
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_80133ca4
 The Onion (Website) / int_80d0d980
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The Generic Guy
 The Onion (Website) / int_80d0d980
comment
The Generic Guy: "Tim Duncan Announces Shoe Deal With Florsheim".
 The Onion (Website) / int_80d0d980
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_80d0d980
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The Onion (Website) / int_80d0d980
 The Onion (Website) / int_82f40e8a
type
Obsessive Spokesperson
 The Onion (Website) / int_82f40e8a
comment
Obsessive Spokesperson: Parodied in an article introducing a violent McDonald's mascot, "The Hammurderer." The article mentions another (fictional) recalled character, "Shakes McJunkie," who was so addicted to McDonald's shakes that he committed robberies just to get money for shakes. This mascot was apparently retooled into "The Machead" who used "panhandling and gay prostitution" to fund his burger addiction.
 The Onion (Website) / int_82f40e8a
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_82f40e8a
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_82f40e8a
 The Onion (Website) / int_830343d8
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We Will Use WikiWords in the Future
 The Onion (Website) / int_830343d8
comment
We Will Use WikiWords in the Future: Future News 2137 has the anchors and interviewees using words like "Frustrage" and "Criticalism".
 The Onion (Website) / int_830343d8
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_830343d8
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The Onion (Website) / int_830343d8
 The Onion (Website) / int_83444b89
type
MST
 The Onion (Website) / int_83444b89
comment
MST: "Guy In Audience Shouts Out Perfect Thing".
 The Onion (Website) / int_83444b89
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_83444b89
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The Onion (Website) / int_83444b89
 The Onion (Website) / int_83f18d93
type
DontGoIntoTheWoods
 The Onion (Website) / int_83f18d93
comment
Don't Go Into the Woods: "Report: Leading Cause Of Death Still Venturing Beyond The Pines". Disregarding this trope and venturing into the forest — whether by losing your way on a foggy night, looking for a shortcut despite repeated warnings not to, or just waking up in the middle of the night and heading straight for the forest — turns out to be the leading cause of death among Americans.
 The Onion (Website) / int_83f18d93
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_83f18d93
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The Onion (Website) / int_83f18d93
 The Onion (Website) / int_8409a385
type
Exactly What It Says on the Tin
 The Onion (Website) / int_8409a385
comment
Exactly What It Says on the Tin: 74 normal photos and two kinda weird ones is a collection of 74 normal photos and two kinda weird ones offered without comment.
 The Onion (Website) / int_8409a385
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_8409a385
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_8409a385
 The Onion (Website) / int_848bec3d
type
Wishing for More Wishes
 The Onion (Website) / int_848bec3d
comment
Wishing for More Wishes: "Child Bankrupts Make-A-Wish Foundation with Wish for Unlimited Wishes".
 The Onion (Website) / int_848bec3d
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_848bec3d
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_848bec3d
 The Onion (Website) / int_851dda8f
type
Humanoid Abomination
 The Onion (Website) / int_851dda8f
comment
Humanoid Abomination: "Neverland Ranch Investigators Discover Corpse of Real Michael Jackson". Dick Cheney, Ted Cruz, and especially Steve Bannon are all frequently depicted this way.
 The Onion (Website) / int_851dda8f
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_851dda8f
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_851dda8f
 The Onion (Website) / int_85557b38
type
Reality Is Unrealistic
 The Onion (Website) / int_85557b38
comment
Reality Is Unrealistic: "Muscleman Put In Charge Of World's Fifth-Largest Economy" is a perfectly accurate depiction of fact, just with an unusual tone.
 The Onion (Website) / int_85557b38
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_85557b38
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_85557b38
 The Onion (Website) / int_85bcc5a8
type
Lampshaded Double Entendre
 The Onion (Website) / int_85bcc5a8
comment
Lampshaded Double Entendre: "Peyton Manning's Wife Tired Of His Constant 'Audibles' At The 'Line Of Scrimmage'".
 The Onion (Website) / int_85bcc5a8
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_85bcc5a8
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_85bcc5a8
 The Onion (Website) / int_863fac26
type
Jerk Jock
 The Onion (Website) / int_863fac26
comment
Jerk Jock: "Second-Most Popular Kid In School Assumes Power Following Death Of Star Quarterback".
 The Onion (Website) / int_863fac26
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_863fac26
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_863fac26
 The Onion (Website) / int_86408bad
type
First Rule of the Yard
 The Onion (Website) / int_86408bad
comment
First Rule of the Yard: "Biggest Guy In Prison Tired Of Every New Inmate Beating Shit Out Of Him On Their First Day".
 The Onion (Website) / int_86408bad
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_86408bad
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The Onion (Website) / int_86408bad
 The Onion (Website) / int_8774fb47
type
Eldritch Abomination
 The Onion (Website) / int_8774fb47
comment
Eldritch Abomination: "After Obama Victory, Shrieking White-Hot Sphere Of Pure Rage Early GOP Front-Runner For 2016". This has been a Running Gag about the baby born to Prince William and Kate Middleton. And, of course, God. It's actually quite a good example of what an Eldritch Abomination might look like (we're probably not seeing its full incomprehensibility, doubtful a human-built camera can pick that up) and do to someone if it decides to directly show itself. Assuming, of course, that isn't just a tiny EXTENSION of the divine being. "Swiss Guard Charge Writhing Mass Of Black Tentacles Devouring Pope Francis". The Director of the Theseus Protocol apparently causes the temperature to drop 25 degrees just by being present, may be able to cause storms at will, and when people make eye contact with them, he causes "a sudden veil of blackness to descend upon them paralyzing their bodies and causing them to collapse to the floor in a fit of wide-eyed tremoring." He also appears to lead an army from another dimension, and wants to destroy this physical universe to birth a powerful god known as the "Many-Instanced One." "World-Eating Leviathan Awoken From 500-Million-Year Slumber In Martian Underground Lake After Feeling Sonar Disturbance".
 The Onion (Website) / int_8774fb47
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_8774fb47
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 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_8774fb47
 The Onion (Website) / int_87b3d1fd
type
Trans Equals Gay
 The Onion (Website) / int_87b3d1fd
comment
Trans Equals Gay: "Conservatives: Sex Change Only Barrier Between Gays/Marriage".
 The Onion (Website) / int_87b3d1fd
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_87b3d1fd
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_87b3d1fd
 The Onion (Website) / int_87bb6874
type
Villain with Good Publicity
 The Onion (Website) / int_87bb6874
comment
Villain with Good Publicity: "PR Firm Kills Innocent Child".
 The Onion (Website) / int_87bb6874
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_87bb6874
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_87bb6874
 The Onion (Website) / int_884e513b
type
Medium Awareness
 The Onion (Website) / int_884e513b
comment
Medium Awareness: "Ominous Music Heard Throughout U.S. Sends Nation Into Panic". "Breaking News: Concentric Circles Emanating From Glowing Red Dot".
 The Onion (Website) / int_884e513b
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_884e513b
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_884e513b
 The Onion (Website) / int_88fa35e0
type
Walking Techbane
 The Onion (Website) / int_88fa35e0
comment
Walking Techbane: "My Computer Totally Hates Me! vs. God, Do I Hate That Bitch".
 The Onion (Website) / int_88fa35e0
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_88fa35e0
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_88fa35e0
 The Onion (Website) / int_89204ffb
type
Shrug of God
 The Onion (Website) / int_89204ffb
comment
Shrug of God: In-universe and literal example with "God Wonders What Happens To Humans After They Die".
 The Onion (Website) / int_89204ffb
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_89204ffb
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_89204ffb
 The Onion (Website) / int_8a5f1611
type
Overly Stereotypical Disguise
 The Onion (Website) / int_8a5f1611
comment
Overly Stereotypical Disguise: "Reporter Goes Undercover In Chinatown By Wearing Silk Robe" sees the undercover reporter putting on Yellow Face, a conical straw hat, fake buck teeth, and speaking in broken English in the belief that it will help him blend in with the population of Chinatown and allow him to infiltrate a counterfeit ring. Much to his genuine confusion, people refuse to speak to him and multiple store owners tell him to leave, in either English or Cantonese.
 The Onion (Website) / int_8a5f1611
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_8a5f1611
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_8a5f1611
 The Onion (Website) / int_8a7b6187
type
Gravity Is Only a Theory
 The Onion (Website) / int_8a7b6187
comment
Gravity Is Only a Theory: The article "Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New 'Intelligent Falling' Theory", where fundamentalist Christians are no longer content to get equal time with biology to preach theology in biology class. They now also want equal time in the physics class, demanding that the theories of Newton and Einstein step back in favor of the theory that the universe is held together by Jesus' love.
 The Onion (Website) / int_8a7b6187
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_8a7b6187
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 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_8a7b6187
 The Onion (Website) / int_8a888e34
type
Exploding Barrels
 The Onion (Website) / int_8a888e34
comment
Exploding Barrels: "Video Game Henchmen Plan Meetup Around Explosive Barrels".
 The Onion (Website) / int_8a888e34
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_8a888e34
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_8a888e34
 The Onion (Website) / int_8ac90da4
type
Retail Riot
 The Onion (Website) / int_8ac90da4
comment
Retail Riot: "42 Million Dead In Bloodiest Black Friday Weekend On Record".
 The Onion (Website) / int_8ac90da4
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_8ac90da4
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_8ac90da4
 The Onion (Website) / int_8ae880f7
type
Deconstruction
 The Onion (Website) / int_8ae880f7
comment
Deconstruction: "Ultra-Realistic Modern Warfare Game Features Awaiting Orders, Repairing Trucks". Several articles are deconstructions, often by having something frequently portrayed in media happen to real people and showing what it would really be like, such as "Romantic-Comedy Behavior Gets Real-Life Man Arrested".
 The Onion (Website) / int_8ae880f7
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_8ae880f7
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_8ae880f7
 The Onion (Website) / int_8af45dbd
type
Wild Teen Party
 The Onion (Website) / int_8af45dbd
comment
Wild Teen Party: "Congress Lowers Drinking Age To 17 Just For Jenny's Party".
 The Onion (Website) / int_8af45dbd
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_8af45dbd
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_8af45dbd
 The Onion (Website) / int_8b51de71
type
There Is No Kill Like Overkill
 The Onion (Website) / int_8b51de71
comment
There Is No Kill Like Over Kill: "NYPD Apologizes For Accidental Shooting-Clubbing-Stabbing-Firebombing-Choking-Impaling-Beheading-Electrocution-Lethal injection death".
 The Onion (Website) / int_8b51de71
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_8b51de71
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_8b51de71
 The Onion (Website) / int_8becc5c5
type
Existential Horror
 The Onion (Website) / int_8becc5c5
comment
Existential Horror: "Scientists Teach Gorilla it Will Die Someday", as well as "Existentialist Firefighter Delays 3 Deaths". And those are just the really obvious ones.
 The Onion (Website) / int_8becc5c5
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_8becc5c5
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_8becc5c5
 The Onion (Website) / int_8c8bd091
type
Fetus Terrible
 The Onion (Website) / int_8c8bd091
comment
Fetus Terrible: Kate Middleton's baby looks to be one in such articles as "Kate Middleton: Cut This Monster Out of Me" and "Royal Family Releases Kate Middleton Ultrasound Image".
 The Onion (Website) / int_8c8bd091
featureApplicability
1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_8c8bd091
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_8c8bd091
 The Onion (Website) / int_8cf6aa
type
Literal Metaphor
 The Onion (Website) / int_8cf6aa
comment
Literal Metaphor: A good deal of the horoscopes.
 The Onion (Website) / int_8cf6aa
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_8cf6aa
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_8cf6aa
 The Onion (Website) / int_8d23f3a7
type
Timey-Wimey Ball
 The Onion (Website) / int_8d23f3a7
comment
Timey-Wimey Ball: "Historical Archives: Civil War Pre-Enactors Have Stage'd Battle Of Bull Run".
 The Onion (Website) / int_8d23f3a7
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_8d23f3a7
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_8d23f3a7
 The Onion (Website) / int_8d6c8737
type
Insurmountable Waist-Height Fence
 The Onion (Website) / int_8d6c8737
comment
Insurmountable Waist-Height Fence: "Video Game Character Stares Impotently At Forbidden Realm Beyond Impassable Waist-High Bush".
 The Onion (Website) / int_8d6c8737
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_8d6c8737
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_8d6c8737
 The Onion (Website) / int_8dd788d2
type
Direct to Video
 The Onion (Website) / int_8dd788d2
comment
Direct to Video: In-Universe, "Land Before Time VI Released Straight To Landfill".
 The Onion (Website) / int_8dd788d2
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_8dd788d2
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_8dd788d2
 The Onion (Website) / int_8e3980c7
type
Mistaken Nationality
 The Onion (Website) / int_8e3980c7
comment
Mistaken Nationality: Overlapping with Spexico in "Restaurant Turns Out To Be Spanish, Not Mexican".
 The Onion (Website) / int_8e3980c7
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Double-Blind What-If
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Double-Blind What-If: Parodied in "Alternate Universe Sci-Fi Channel Show Asks What Would Happen If Germany Lost War".
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Horrorscope
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Horrorscope: The Onion's faux horoscopes are often blackly comedic in nature. Horoscope for Scorpio: 'Your week will be so varied, interesting, and surprising that eventually the coroner will just give up, shrug, and write "heart failure" in the spot marked "Cause of Death".'
 The Onion (Website) / int_8f23f7e5
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Shaving Is Science
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Shaving Is Science: "Haggar Physicists Develop 'Quantum Slacks'". "Brookstone Scientists 10 Years Away from Towel Alarm Clock".
 The Onion (Website) / int_8f6ca47
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Hive Mind
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Hive Mind: "Residents of Indiana Join Together To Form Collective Consciousness".
 The Onion (Website) / int_90965cc7
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Karmic Death
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Karmic Death: "EPA Administrator Proves Carbon Emissions Not Harmful By Inhaling Directly From Truck's Tailpipe".
 The Onion (Website) / int_90d44f44
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Screwed by the Network
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Screwed by the Network: In-universe. On the season finale of the show on IFC, The Cressbeckler Stance was canned so the network could introduce a new program about motorcycles in the spirit of the new American Dream.
 The Onion (Website) / int_913089c2
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Fountain of Youth
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Fountain of Youth: "Experimental Anti-Aging Treatment Still Has Few Kinks, Report Infant Researchers".
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Exaggerated Trope
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Exaggerated Trope: Many of the articles get their humor from taking a regular trope and cranking it up full blast.
 The Onion (Website) / int_91cecc1e
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Military Coup
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Military Coup: "U.S. Government Stages Fake Coup To Wipe Out National Debt".
 The Onion (Website) / int_91df9d19
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Remarried to the Mistress
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Remarried to the Mistress: The premise of the "New Mommy A Lot Prettier" article. More disturbingly, the children start to prefer her over their own mother, in spite of them being kicked out of their large home to go live with their mother in a small apartment, their father using gifts to help win them over, and the implication that both him and their stepmother don't actually parent either child as evident from them having no set bedtime and the lack of concern about the son's asthma medication.
 The Onion (Website) / int_91e7082a
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You Have Outlived Your Usefulness
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You Have Outlived Your Usefulness: "All Of Area Man's Hard Work Finally Pays Off For Employer" ends with the following depressing sentence.
 The Onion (Website) / int_928ca2cc
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Ret-Gone
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Ret-Gone: "Report: Decision To Read This Headline Has Erased Future Daughter 'Emily' In All Possible Timelines".
 The Onion (Website) / int_92cca75b
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 The Onion (Website) / int_93168fb1
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It's Quiet… Too Quiet
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It's Quiet… Too Quiet: "Tea Party Quiet... Too Quiet".
 The Onion (Website) / int_93168fb1
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 The Onion (Website) / int_94680696
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Shaped Like Itself
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Shaped Like Itself: "Report: Turkey Sandwiches An Excellent Source Of Turkey Sandwiches". "Investigators Determine Air France Disaster Caused By Plane Crash".
 The Onion (Website) / int_94680696
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Faux Affably Evil
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Faux Affably Evil: "So, What's It Going To Be?" by Bashar al-Assad is written in such a tone.
 The Onion (Website) / int_95b7c400
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Only Sane Employee
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Only Sane Employee: "Developmentally Disabled Burger King Employee Only Competent Worker".
 The Onion (Website) / int_95cb7004
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Sword of Plot Advancement
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Sword of Plot Advancement: "Congress Sets Sail In Search Of Fabled Sword Of Bipartisanship".
 The Onion (Website) / int_9712e10
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Never My Fault
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Never My Fault: "Shitty Human Being Blames Decreased Daylight This Time". Part of Jean Teasdale's Cloud Cuckoolander act is her never accepting responsibility or blame for her faults, whether it's getting firednote (she got caught using eBay — on the boss's computer, no less — and remains convinced that the boss just hated her) or her poor sense of humornote (a friend declines to use Jean's jokes in a stand-up act because they're pithy and toothless, but Jean thinks the friend was threatened by the idea of a superior comic). When a local magazine calls her article out for being garbage, she insists that they don't know what they're talking about — while doing everything that they said makes her articles garbage. "Girlfriend Dumped After Valentine Candy Related Weight Gain". After pressuring his girlfriend to eat the candy he gave her (which she then ate over the course of a week as they were snowed in and left unable to do her usual errands, like the gym), a boyfriend dumps the slim girl via email for putting on somewhere between 3-5 pounds. The infamous article "Bully Can't Believe Classmate Took 4 Straight Years of Being Told to Kill Herself to Heart" has the girl still badmouthing her dead classmate/victim and actually trying to trivialize the tragedy via this and "Just Joking" Justification. Worse is how even years after the fact is that it's plausible that the bully's empathy (or likely lack thereof, if going by the article) still won't truly allow her to accept responsibility for what she did or make any real amends (or stop her from doing it to someone else).
 The Onion (Website) / int_973d220f
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 The Onion (Website) / int_979ca348
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Repurposed Pop Song
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Repurposed Pop Song: "Song About Heroin Used To Advertise Bank".
 The Onion (Website) / int_979ca348
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Mass "Oh, Crap!"
 The Onion (Website) / int_97fa0a10
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Mass "Oh, Crap!": "Nationals Book It After Foul Ball Accidentally Smashes Capitol Rotunda".
 The Onion (Website) / int_97fa0a10
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 The Onion (Website) / int_9820c37a
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Screw Politeness, I'm a Senior!
 The Onion (Website) / int_9820c37a
comment
Screw Politeness, I'm a Senior!: Deconstructed in "114-Year-Old Attributes Longevity to Sheer Random Chance". While the article keeps using words like 'feisty', 'bouncy', 'chipper', and 'peppy' to paint Mrs. McCreeley's attitude in a more positive light, Hazel herself is extremely bitter and nihilistic about her continued existence, including the decline of her body and the many children she's outlived, and can only express herself properly during the brief moments of lucidity her brain allows; the mayor of Milford goes on record as wishing she'd just hurry up and die, and her own hope for her 115th birthday is "to be rotting in a coffin".
 The Onion (Website) / int_9820c37a
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 The Onion (Website) / int_98a19d7f
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Money, Dear Boy
 The Onion (Website) / int_98a19d7f
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Money, Dear Boy: In-Universe, "Nobel Fever Grips Research Community As Prize Swells To $190 Million".
 The Onion (Website) / int_98a19d7f
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 The Onion (Website) / int_98a63dc6
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Time Abyss
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Time Abyss: T. Herman Zweibel was born in the 1800s, and despite being incredibly old and afflicted with an innumerable amount of maladies, is somehow still hanging in there. Joad Cressbeckler, a grizzled, ancient ex-gold miner who, after running as a third-party presidential candidate in 2008, got his own ONN show, The Cressbeckler Stance.
 The Onion (Website) / int_98a63dc6
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 The Onion (Website) / int_99a7aa94
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Seven Deadly Sins
 The Onion (Website) / int_99a7aa94
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Seven Deadly Sins: "All Seven Deadly Sins Committed At Church Bake Sale".
 The Onion (Website) / int_99a7aa94
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 The Onion (Website) / int_99ddfcec
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Unwitting Instigator of Doom
 The Onion (Website) / int_99ddfcec
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Unwitting Instigator of Doom: According to "Recent Rise In International Disputes Traced Back To Cute U.N. Tour Guide", many recent political conflicts began because various international delegates suddenly found themselves smitten with an attractive U.N. tour guide passing by, and became too Distracted by the Sexy to do their jobs properly.
 The Onion (Website) / int_99ddfcec
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 The Onion (Website) / int_9a8c7632
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Dumb Is Good
 The Onion (Website) / int_9a8c7632
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Dumb Is Good: "Developmentally Disabled Burger King Employee Only Competent Worker".
 The Onion (Website) / int_9a8c7632
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 The Onion (Website) / int_9af42bed
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Appeal to Tradition
 The Onion (Website) / int_9af42bed
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Appeal to Tradition: "Should The Government Stop Dumping Money Into A Giant Hole?" has this as a major focus: the reporters focus only on the Money Hole's status as a long tradition and a part of American identity (with a side note of "to stop now would be an insult to everyone").
 The Onion (Website) / int_9af42bed
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Second-Person Narration
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Second-Person Narration: The paper's preferred method to point out This Loser Is You, such as "Everyone Still Remembers Time You Threw Up In 5th Grade".
 The Onion (Website) / int_9af977f4
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 The Onion (Website) / int_9c224098
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Deliberately Bad Example
 The Onion (Website) / int_9c224098
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Deliberately Bad Example: "Developmentally Disabled Burger King Employee Only Competent Worker" has the developmentally disabled employee shine because all his coworkers are too lazy to do their jobs properly.
 The Onion (Website) / int_9c224098
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Let Them Die Happy
 The Onion (Website) / int_9c73b5b2
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Let Them Die Happy: "Family Tells Ailing Mandela Racism Over".
 The Onion (Website) / int_9c73b5b2
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 The Onion (Website) / int_9c8701b5
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A Day in the Limelight
 The Onion (Website) / int_9c8701b5
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A Day in the Limelight: "Is Pundit Duncan Birch A Worthless Idiot?"
 The Onion (Website) / int_9c8701b5
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Lovable Sex Maniac
 The Onion (Website) / int_9cdef1ef
comment
Lovable Sex Maniac: Joe Biden was portrayed as one until 2020.
 The Onion (Website) / int_9cdef1ef
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 The Onion (Website) / int_9ce7c264
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Future Badass
 The Onion (Website) / int_9ce7c264
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Future Badass: "Person Who Will One Day Become Warlord-Ruler Of What Was Once Nebraska Born In Omaha Hospital".
 The Onion (Website) / int_9ce7c264
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Sex Is Evil, and I Am Horny
 The Onion (Website) / int_9d0cfdb9
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Sex Is Evil, and I Am Horny: One article commented on the scandal of the Catholic Church covering up for pedophile priests (by moving them around instead of ousting and reporting them, thus covering their tracks and giving them access to new victims) by having the Pope announce that God will forgive the children for their crime of leading his priests into temptation.
 The Onion (Website) / int_9d0cfdb9
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Nuclear Mutant
 The Onion (Website) / int_9d67ad5c
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Nuclear Mutant: "We Must Expand Our Nuclear Power Program If We're To Realize Our Dream Of Superhero Mutants".
 The Onion (Website) / int_9d67ad5c
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Fag Hag
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Fag Hag: "Gay Man, Unattractive Woman Form Tight Bond".
 The Onion (Website) / int_9d6f3607
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 The Onion (Website) / int_9dab0a6e
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Continuity Nod
 The Onion (Website) / int_9dab0a6e
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Continuity Nod: Joad Cressbeckler, first introduced as an "even more grizzled and ornery" alternative to John McCain during the "War For The White House", now has his own series (The Cressbeckler Stance) parodying FOX News' primetime commentary shows. Several stories about an "Area Man" visiting restaurants are about the same man (Don Turnbee of Erie, PA) with the same photo model. Another couple of stories are about a veterinary assistant with some odd quirks; more recently, the same idiot showed up in two stories- the first one essentially said "this idiot shouldn't be allowed to vote", while the second one takes a potshot at Donald Trump's supporters. One occurred in the same issue; a Jim Anchower column has him helping a driver who then gives him her number, at which point presumably an ex of her's calls him up. It's implied to be fellow columnist Smoove B, and this column has his side of the story (he doesn't say Anchower's name, but the appearance is a dead giveaway). While fact checking the third presidential debate, they claim to have already fact-checked Donald Trump's quote about the NAFTA. Indeed, they previously had, while fact checking the first debate. In The Onion's Election Glossary, 8 of the definitions are lifted straight from The Onion Book of Known Knowledge.
 The Onion (Website) / int_9dab0a6e
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 The Onion (Website) / int_9dd2af4a
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Inspirationally Disadvantaged
 The Onion (Website) / int_9dd2af4a
comment
Inspirationally Disadvantaged: "Coming up next: Serial killer with Down Syndrome commits fifth inspirational murder". "World Now Down To 5 Stories That Are Inspirational" and the photo caption "Double Amputee Proves He Is Capable Of Anything" are both inspired by the 2013 arrest of Real Life double amputee Olympic-level sprinter Oscar Pistorius for the premeditated murder of his girlfriend. Downplayed in "Developmentally Disabled Burger King Employee Only Competent Worker", in which the developmentally disabled employee stands out by doing the simple things his (supposedly) smarter co-workers are supposed to be doing. Deconstructed in "Developmentally Disabled Senator Wants To Be Treated Like Every Other Lawmaker".
 The Onion (Website) / int_9dd2af4a
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Filler
 The Onion (Website) / int_9de2bf95
comment
Filler: New Census Study Finds That 40% Of U.S. Population Is Filler.
 The Onion (Website) / int_9de2bf95
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 The Onion (Website) / int_9e08b900
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Most Definitely Not a Villain
 The Onion (Website) / int_9e08b900
comment
Most Definitely Not a Villain: "Cindy McCain Claims She's 'Just Like Any Other Female Human'":
 The Onion (Website) / int_9e08b900
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 The Onion (Website) / int_9e74f33
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Flock of Wolves
 The Onion (Website) / int_9e74f33
comment
Flock of Wolves: "Klan Rally 70 Percent Undercover Reporters".
 The Onion (Website) / int_9e74f33
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It Is Beyond Saving
 The Onion (Website) / int_9e9e8623
comment
It Is Beyond Saving: "FDA Commissioner: I Give Up On You Pigs".
 The Onion (Website) / int_9e9e8623
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UnPerson
 The Onion (Website) / int_9ebd9c33
comment
Un-person: "White House Denies Existence Of Karl Rove"
 The Onion (Website) / int_9ebd9c33
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 The Onion (Website) / int_9f510a11
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GetALoadOfThatSquare
 The Onion (Website) / int_9f510a11
comment
Get a Load of That Square: "Area Father Must Have Read Some Drug-Slang Brochure Or Something".
 The Onion (Website) / int_9f510a11
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The Onion (Website) / int_9f510a11
 The Onion (Website) / int_9fc60cc5
type
Glurge
 The Onion (Website) / int_9fc60cc5
comment
Glurge: In-Universe, "Nation Afraid To Admit 9-Year-Old Disabled Poet Really Bad".
 The Onion (Website) / int_9fc60cc5
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_9fc60cc5
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 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_9fc60cc5
 The Onion (Website) / int_a0412c52
type
Gun Nut
 The Onion (Website) / int_a0412c52
comment
Gun Nut: "NRA Praised For Decreasing Stigma Of Mentally Ill Acquiring Firearms".
 The Onion (Website) / int_a0412c52
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_a0412c52
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 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_a0412c52
 The Onion (Website) / int_a0947d78
type
Token Trio
 The Onion (Website) / int_a0947d78
comment
Token Trio: Can be observed in the peer review panel in this article.
 The Onion (Website) / int_a0947d78
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 The Onion (Website) / int_a0947d78
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The Onion (Website) / int_a0947d78
 The Onion (Website) / int_a188ac4b
type
Overly Long Gag
 The Onion (Website) / int_a188ac4b
comment
Overly Long Gag: "'The Hobbit' To Feature 53-Minute-Long Scene Of Bilbo Baggins Trying To Figure Out What To Pack". "Opium-Inspired Ad Executive Composes Epic Tums Jingle".
 The Onion (Website) / int_a188ac4b
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The Onion (Website) / int_a188ac4b
 The Onion (Website) / int_a18d407b
type
Samus Is a Girl
 The Onion (Website) / int_a18d407b
comment
Samus Is a Girl: "Hotshot Test Pilot Removes Helmet, Reveals Female Status".
 The Onion (Website) / int_a18d407b
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The Onion (Website) / int_a18d407b
 The Onion (Website) / int_a1fedb67
type
Parental Obliviousness
 The Onion (Website) / int_a1fedb67
comment
Parental Obliviousness: "I Hope My Baby Doesn't Come Out All Fucked-Up And Shit".
 The Onion (Website) / int_a1fedb67
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_a1fedb67
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The Onion (Website) / int_a1fedb67
 The Onion (Website) / int_a220d528
type
What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
 The Onion (Website) / int_a220d528
comment
What Could Possibly Go Wrong?: "Report: 10 Million Killed Annually By Stepping Out Of Comfort Zones".
 The Onion (Website) / int_a220d528
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_a220d528
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The Onion (Website) / int_a220d528
 The Onion (Website) / int_a246aed6
type
Sapient Cetaceans
 The Onion (Website) / int_a246aed6
comment
Sapient Cetaceans: Parodied this with the article "Dolphins Evolve Opposable Thumbs: 'Oh, Shit,' Says Humanity". The article is then filled with stories of the Dolphins' incredibly rapid technology development, and marine biologists committing suicide or preparing to serve the Dolphin overlords.
 The Onion (Website) / int_a246aed6
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The Onion (Website) / int_a246aed6
 The Onion (Website) / int_a2b38d3b
type
Eye Scream
 The Onion (Website) / int_a2b38d3b
comment
Eye Scream: "Report: It A Miracle Nothing Has Punctured Your Eye Yet".
 The Onion (Website) / int_a2b38d3b
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_a2b38d3b
 The Onion (Website) / int_a2f3e380
type
World of Weirdness
 The Onion (Website) / int_a2f3e380
comment
World of Weirdness: The entire body of work could be seen as a serious news source from a crazy alternate world.
 The Onion (Website) / int_a2f3e380
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_a2f3e380
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The Onion (Website) / int_a2f3e380
 The Onion (Website) / int_a2ff4e6f
type
Single Tear
 The Onion (Website) / int_a2ff4e6f
comment
Single Tear: Kelly invariably depicts the Statue of Liberty as shedding one, whether out of sorrow or joy.
 The Onion (Website) / int_a2ff4e6f
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_a2ff4e6f
 The Onion (Website) / int_a3a7c41
type
Black Sheep
 The Onion (Website) / int_a3a7c41
comment
Black Sheep: "Everyone In Family Claims To Be The Black Sheep". In the last quote, the siblings' mother reassures them that this isn't the case, before mentioning that she felt that way among her siblings.
 The Onion (Website) / int_a3a7c41
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The Onion (Website) / int_a3a7c41
 The Onion (Website) / int_a43a691b
type
Finishing Move
 The Onion (Website) / int_a43a691b
comment
Finishing Move: "NHL To Allow Finishing Moves In Fights This Season", with an obligatory Shout-Out to Mortal Kombat.
 The Onion (Website) / int_a43a691b
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_a43a691b
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The Onion (Website) / int_a43a691b
 The Onion (Website) / int_a4c37cbe
type
Mood Whiplash
 The Onion (Website) / int_a4c37cbe
comment
Mood Whiplash: "New Bipartisan Law Would Make Dog Neckerchiefs Mandatory". Everyone gushes about how cute they all are, and then you get to paragraph 15: "Person Who Will One Day Become Warlord-Ruler Of What Was Once Nebraska Born In Omaha Hospital" swings wildly between "D'awww, look at his cute widdle fingers" and "...which he will form into an iron fist and crush all who dare to oppose him". "U.S. Army Now Just Chasing Single Remaining ISIS Soldier Around Ruins Of Syrian Village" portrays the last remaining ISIS soldier as a whacky Looney Tunes-esque prankster, but ends with a sobering reminder of how many ISIS fighters are actually still at large.
 The Onion (Website) / int_a4c37cbe
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The Onion (Website) / int_a4c37cbe
 The Onion (Website) / int_a4d189fc
type
Marrying the Mark
 The Onion (Website) / int_a4d189fc
comment
Marrying the Mark: Parodied in "Housewife Charged In Sex-For-Security Scam", where a woman marries a man in order to obtain food, lodging, and financial security in exchange for occasional sex for over 19 years.
 The Onion (Website) / int_a4d189fc
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The Onion (Website) / int_a4d189fc
 The Onion (Website) / int_a4d8473b
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Stealth Sequel
 The Onion (Website) / int_a4d8473b
comment
Stealth Sequel: "Francis Ford Coppola Reveals Every 'Godfather' Film Took Place In Same Narrative World".
 The Onion (Website) / int_a4d8473b
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1.0
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 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_a4d8473b
 The Onion (Website) / int_a567f7f2
type
I Want My Jet Pack
 The Onion (Website) / int_a567f7f2
comment
I Want My Jetpack: "I Thought We'd Have Flying Slaves By Now".
 The Onion (Website) / int_a567f7f2
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_a567f7f2
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The Onion (Website) / int_a567f7f2
 The Onion (Website) / int_a60e3252
type
Rule of Funny
 The Onion (Website) / int_a60e3252
comment
The world as a whole. In The Know's world has ghouls, robot overlords, baby skulls as jewelry... Rule of Funny produces some hilariously-horrific things.
 The Onion (Website) / int_a60e3252
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The Onion (Website) / int_a60e3252
 The Onion (Website) / int_a70223
type
Karma Houdini
 The Onion (Website) / int_a70223
comment
Karma Houdini: "Epic Saga Of Employee's Ineptitude Passed Down Through Generations Of Coworkers" shows how the employee in question still has his job despite his many mistakes. Lampshaded with the following quote: "College Basketball Star Heroically Overcomes Tragic Rape He Committed". The basketball star in question doesn't suffer any consequences for drunkenly raping a girl, and everyone involved passes it off as a heroic accomplishment. In "Wealthy Teen Nearly Experiences Consequence", the teen in question evades even the slap on the wrist proposed for him.
 The Onion (Website) / int_a70223
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The Onion (Website) / int_a70223
 The Onion (Website) / int_a76de48b
type
Troubled Production
 The Onion (Website) / int_a76de48b
comment
Troubled Production: In-universe with "Terry Gilliam Barbecue Plagued By Production Delays".
 The Onion (Website) / int_a76de48b
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_a76de48b
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 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_a76de48b
 The Onion (Website) / int_a796d2a6
type
Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy
 The Onion (Website) / int_a796d2a6
comment
Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy: "Winchester Unveils New 9MM Stray Bullet Guaranteed To Hit Innocent Bystanders".
 The Onion (Website) / int_a796d2a6
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_a796d2a6
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 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_a796d2a6
 The Onion (Website) / int_a849183f
type
Toilet Seat Divorce
 The Onion (Website) / int_a849183f
comment
Toilet Seat Divorce: Parodied in the Libra of this set of horoscopes.
 The Onion (Website) / int_a849183f
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_a849183f
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The Onion (Website) / int_a849183f
 The Onion (Website) / int_a8559a9f
type
RealLife
 The Onion (Website) / int_a8559a9f
comment
Real Life example: An article was used for the 2005 English Language and Composition Advanced Placement exam... meaning that there was actually something to analyze in that article.
 The Onion (Website) / int_a8559a9f
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_a8559a9f
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The Onion (Website) / int_a8559a9f
 The Onion (Website) / int_a86069f
type
Alternate History
 The Onion (Website) / int_a86069f
comment
Alternate History: A meta-example, in that the alternate history story is itself written in an alternate history universe (compare The Man in the High Castle, one of the oldest AH novels, which uses a similar premise with the in-story story The Grasshopper Lies Heavy) "Alternate-Universe Sci-Fi Channel Show Asks What Would Happen If Germany Lost War".
 The Onion (Website) / int_a86069f
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 The Onion (Website) / int_a86069f
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 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_a86069f
 The Onion (Website) / int_a9c0f93f
type
Fun-Hating Confiscating Adult
 The Onion (Website) / int_a9c0f93f
comment
Fun-Hating Confiscating Adult: One column has Senator Tom DeLay losing his temper with a group of teenagers playing frisbee on the Capitol lawn. Said frisbee flies through the window and disrupts an important meeting. DeLay tells the teenagers that he's keeping the frisbee and that they can't do anything about this because he is very politically powerful. When he turns away from the window, a hacky sack flies into the room and hits him on the head. DeLay tells the teenagers that the joke's on them because he won't return their hacky sack either.
 The Onion (Website) / int_a9c0f93f
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The Onion (Website) / int_a9c0f93f
 The Onion (Website) / int_a9dc0c29
type
The Moral Substitute
 The Onion (Website) / int_a9dc0c29
comment
The Moral Substitute: This article explains that a West Virginia professor bans unreliable sources for papers. The first of them is The Onion, explaining that this is not news, but literally a parody. Then she explains the second source:
 The Onion (Website) / int_a9dc0c29
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The Onion (Website) / int_a9dc0c29
 The Onion (Website) / int_a9dc5293
type
Development Hell
 The Onion (Website) / int_a9dc5293
comment
Development Hell: In-Universe, "Script Has Been Floating Around Hollywood For 75 Years".
 The Onion (Website) / int_a9dc5293
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_a9dc5293
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The Onion (Website) / int_a9dc5293
 The Onion (Website) / int_aaa1fa9
type
Captain Space, Defender of Earth!
 The Onion (Website) / int_aaa1fa9
comment
Captain Space, Defender of Earth!: Crash Comet, Space Commander from the Year 2000, the recurring enemy of Evil Overlord columnist Gorzo the Mighty.
 The Onion (Website) / int_aaa1fa9
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_aaa1fa9
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 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_aaa1fa9
 The Onion (Website) / int_aabe2fb
type
Deliberate Values Dissonance
 The Onion (Website) / int_aabe2fb
comment
Deliberate Values Dissonance "Woman In Burqa Condemns Woman In Chador." Not only does the woman in the burqa have values that would seem astonishingly sexist from a Western perspective, but so does the woman in the chador, despite the former woman despising her for being subversive.
 The Onion (Website) / int_aabe2fb
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_aabe2fb
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The Onion (Website) / int_aabe2fb
 The Onion (Website) / int_aaece264
type
Rousing Speech
 The Onion (Website) / int_aaece264
comment
Rousing Speech: Attempted in "Scrappy Band Of Lovable Misfits No Match For Rich Kids", but, like all the other tactics the kids use to save their camp, it fails.
 The Onion (Website) / int_aaece264
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_aaece264
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 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_aaece264
 The Onion (Website) / int_aaff69d0
type
Unexpected Successor
 The Onion (Website) / int_aaff69d0
comment
Unexpected Successor: "Last Remaining Politician Must Rebuild Entire Government Following Bloodiest Midterm Election In American History". "Secretary Of Interior Takes Presidential Oath Of Office: 'I Still Can't Believe The President, Vice President, Speaker Of The House, President Pro Tem, Sec. Of State, Sec. Of The Treasury, Sec. Of Defense, And Attorney General Were All In That Hot-Air Balloon,' Says New President Sally Jewell"
 The Onion (Website) / int_aaff69d0
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 The Onion (Website) / int_aaff69d0
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The Onion (Website) / int_aaff69d0
 The Onion (Website) / int_ab031997
type
Underdogs Never Lose
 The Onion (Website) / int_ab031997
comment
Underdogs Never Lose: "Scrappy Band Of Lovable Misfits No Match For Rich Kids".
 The Onion (Website) / int_ab031997
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_ab031997
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The Onion (Website) / int_ab031997
 The Onion (Website) / int_ab173426
type
Ruthless Modern Pirates
 The Onion (Website) / int_ab173426
comment
Ruthless Modern Pirates: Fake political cartoonist Kelly did a panel about these at the end of October 2013, not long after the release of Captain Phillips... but it presents them in a positive light, labeling them "Today's Swashbucklers" for carrying on the tradition set by Blackbeard, Captain Jack Sparrow, and Captain Morgan, suggesting that all he knows about piracy then and now comes from romanticized fiction and/or Pop-Cultural Osmosis (Sir Henry Morgan is mostly known in the 2000s as the namesake of a brand of rum).
 The Onion (Website) / int_ab173426
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 The Onion (Website) / int_ab173426
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 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_ab173426
 The Onion (Website) / int_abc60c5d
type
Harmful to Minors
 The Onion (Website) / int_abc60c5d
comment
Harmful to Minors: "U.S. Children Still Traumatized One Year After Seeing Partially-Exposed Breast On TV".
 The Onion (Website) / int_abc60c5d
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_abc60c5d
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The Onion (Website) / int_abc60c5d
 The Onion (Website) / int_ac1e30d8
type
Red Scare
 The Onion (Website) / int_ac1e30d8
comment
Red Scare: "USSR Wins Space Race As U.S. Shuts Down Shuttle Program".
 The Onion (Website) / int_ac1e30d8
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_ac1e30d8
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The Onion (Website) / int_ac1e30d8
 The Onion (Website) / int_ac344349
type
Three-Month-Old Newborn
 The Onion (Website) / int_ac344349
comment
Three-Month-Old Newborn: "Woman on TV Gives Birth to Four-Month-Old Baby".
 The Onion (Website) / int_ac344349
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_ac344349
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The Onion (Website) / int_ac344349
 The Onion (Website) / int_ac9cac61
type
Scare 'Em Straight
 The Onion (Website) / int_ac9cac61
comment
Scare 'Em Straight: "Driver's Ed Class Finally Gets To See Legendary Safety Film". "Kids In Scared Straight Program Visit Horrifying Cleveland Cavaliers Practice".
 The Onion (Website) / int_ac9cac61
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_ac9cac61
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 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_ac9cac61
 The Onion (Website) / int_adfd3165
type
For the Evulz
 The Onion (Website) / int_adfd3165
comment
For the Evulz: "Mosquitoes Don't Even Need To Bite Us, Study Shows".
 The Onion (Website) / int_adfd3165
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_adfd3165
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The Onion (Website) / int_adfd3165
 The Onion (Website) / int_aebae11c
type
Viewers Are Morons
 The Onion (Website) / int_aebae11c
comment
Viewers Are Morons: "Microsoft Word Now Includes Squiggly Blue Line To Alert Writer When Word Is Too Advanced For Mainstream Audience". "Onion Weather Center: We Dumb It Down The Best We Can For Our Viewers In The Deep South"
 The Onion (Website) / int_aebae11c
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 The Onion (Website) / int_aebae11c
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 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_aebae11c
 The Onion (Website) / int_af3ea0e3
type
Face–Heel Turn
 The Onion (Website) / int_af3ea0e3
comment
Face–Heel Turn: "Lance Armstrong Admits Drug Use, Plans Return To Cycling As Flamboyant, Fan-Hating Villain".
 The Onion (Website) / int_af3ea0e3
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_af3ea0e3
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 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_af3ea0e3
 The Onion (Website) / int_af4d6174
type
Setting Update
 The Onion (Website) / int_af4d6174
comment
Setting Update: "Unconventional Director Sets Shakespeare Play In Time, Place Shakespeare Intended".
 The Onion (Website) / int_af4d6174
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_af4d6174
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 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_af4d6174
 The Onion (Website) / int_afc52a86
type
Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot
 The Onion (Website) / int_afc52a86
comment
Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot: "Hurriphoonado Cuts Swath Of Destruction Across Eastern, Western Hemispheres".
 The Onion (Website) / int_afc52a86
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_afc52a86
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 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_afc52a86
 The Onion (Website) / int_afd181c7
type
Xtreme Kool Letterz
 The Onion (Website) / int_afd181c7
comment
Xtreme Kool Letterz: "Alphabet Updated With 15 Exciting New Replacement Letters".
 The Onion (Website) / int_afd181c7
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_afd181c7
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The Onion (Website) / int_afd181c7
 The Onion (Website) / int_afe98316
type
Talkative Loon
 The Onion (Website) / int_afe98316
comment
Talkative Loon: "Raving Lunatic Obviously Took Some Advanced Physics".
 The Onion (Website) / int_afe98316
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_afe98316
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The Onion (Website) / int_afe98316
 The Onion (Website) / int_aff1ee2e
type
Small Reference Pools
 The Onion (Website) / int_aff1ee2e
comment
Small Reference Pools: "Area Man's Pop-Culture References Stop At 1988".
 The Onion (Website) / int_aff1ee2e
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_aff1ee2e
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1.0
 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_aff1ee2e
 The Onion (Website) / int_b0fb2427
type
Bread and Circuses
 The Onion (Website) / int_b0fb2427
comment
Bread and Circuses: "48 Syrian Civilians Massacred During Claire Danes' Emmy Award Acceptance Speech":
 The Onion (Website) / int_b0fb2427
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Head-in-the-Sand Management
 The Onion (Website) / int_b10d7e8e
comment
Head-in-the-Sand Management: "Robert Mueller Dreading Returning From 2-Month European Vacation To Start Russia Investigation". "CDC Director Alarmed After Googling 'Covid Cases' For First Time in Weeks".
 The Onion (Website) / int_b10d7e8e
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Loophole Abuse
 The Onion (Website) / int_b1dde8fd
comment
Loophole Abuse: "Child Bankrupts Make-A-Wish Foundation with Wish for Unlimited Wishes".
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 The Onion (Website) / int_b2ad812d
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So What Do We Do Now?
 The Onion (Website) / int_b2ad812d
comment
So What Do We Do Now?: "Voice Inside Cheering Libyan Rebel's Head: 'Oh, Fuck, Now What?'".
 The Onion (Website) / int_b2ad812d
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 The Onion (Website) / int_b3860333
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Droste Image
 The Onion (Website) / int_b3860333
comment
Droste Image: "Area Article Nauseous From Constant Scrolling" features the titular article as the picture.
 The Onion (Website) / int_b3860333
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Hand Puppet
 The Onion (Website) / int_b427f328
comment
Hand Puppet: "Local Puppet Ignores Repeated Audience Dragon Warnings".
 The Onion (Website) / int_b427f328
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No OSHA Compliance
 The Onion (Website) / int_b47d95be
comment
No OSHA Compliance: "U.N. Orders Willy Wonka To Submit To Chocolate Factory Inspections". "NASCAR To Discontinue Having Kids Rush Onto Track To Wipe Up Skid Marks During Races". "Video Game Characters Denounce Randomly Placed Swinging Blades".
 The Onion (Website) / int_b47d95be
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 The Onion (Website) / int_b48eb5fe
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Parody Product Placement
 The Onion (Website) / int_b48eb5fe
comment
Parody Product Placement: "Spider-Man Distracts Dr. Octopus With Delicious Hostess Fruit Pies".
 The Onion (Website) / int_b48eb5fe
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 The Onion (Website) / int_b499dd39
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All Issues Are Political Issues
 The Onion (Website) / int_b499dd39
comment
All Issues Are Political Issues: In the article "Exhausted Noam Chomsky Just Going To Try And Enjoy The Day For Once", Chomsky tries to have a day off, but everything reminds him of oppression.
 The Onion (Website) / int_b499dd39
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Epic Fail
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Epic Fail: "O-SPAN Classic: CIA Accidentally Overthrows Costa Rica".
 The Onion (Website) / int_b4eff8a8
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 The Onion (Website) / int_b53077b3
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Take That!
 The Onion (Website) / int_b53077b3
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Take That!: Against Rush Limbaugh, with "I Don't Even Want to Be Alive Anymore". The closing months of 2008 saw weekly stories about outgoing President George W. Bush getting increasingly-bizarre and horrendous injuries. "Congress Honors 9/11 First Capitalizers, Recognizes Those Who Rushed To Cash In On Tragedy". Today Now interviews the 5-year-old screenwriter of Fast Five. "New Cheney Memoir Reveals He's Going To Live Full, Satisfied Life Without Ever Feeling Remorse And There's Nothing We Can Do About It". "Victim In Fatal Car Accident Tragically Not Glenn Beck". Against Oprah Winfrey: "I Just Want To Say That I Hated Every Moment Of That Piece-Of-Shit Show". Against Rep. Todd Akin: "I Misspoke—What I Meant To Say Is 'I Am Dumb As Dog Shit And I Am A Terrible Human Being'" In response to the Lance Armstrong doping controversy, the Onion Store is proud to offer the "Cheat to Win" bracelet. Making fun of Chicago's murder rate spikes since 2011: "Hot New 'Murder Craze' Sweeps Chicago". "Chicago's Annual Homicide Drive Off To Most Promising Start In Decades". Towards Facebook: "Mark Zuckerberg Recalls Coming Up With Idea For Facebook After Seeing Dopamine-Addicted Lab Rat Starve To Death". "Mark Zuckerberg Defends Decision To Fly Confederate Flag At Facebook Headquarters". "Creepy Weirdo Still Stalking You On Facebook". From the point of view of Mark Zuckerberg's daughter: "Daddy, I Don't Want To Live In The World Your Website Has Created". Against Ted Lasso: "Critically Acclaimed 'Ted Lasso' Episode Just Stock Photos Of People Hugging Each Other".
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 The Onion (Website) / int_b532f68b
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Everybody Has Lots of Sex
 The Onion (Website) / int_b532f68b
comment
Everybody Has Lots of Sex: "BYU Students Protest Brandon Davies' Dismissal By Having Sex All Over Campus". "Olympic Village Tour: See Where The Athletes Live, Train And Fuck Each Other's Brains Out" (NSFW).
 The Onion (Website) / int_b532f68b
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 The Onion (Website) / int_b58b4e3c
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Too Dumb to Live
 The Onion (Website) / int_b58b4e3c
comment
Too Dumb to Live: "Looking Back On My Life, I Guess My Biggest Regret Is Trying To Fight That Alligator 5 Minutes Ago". "Fun Toy Banned Because of Three Stupid Dead Kids." One boy fires a missile up his nose, another girl breaks the toy to eat the shards, and another boy jumps off his apartment's balcony, thinking the toy will let him fly.
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 The Onion (Website) / int_b5c47a93
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A Degree in Useless
 The Onion (Website) / int_b5c47a93
comment
A Degree in Useless: Inverted in "Company Immediately Calls Job Applicant Upon Seeing 'B.A. In Communications' On Résumé" Played straight in "Juilliard Opens Business School For Students Who Realize Acting Thing Probably A Long Shot".
 The Onion (Website) / int_b5c47a93
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 The Onion (Website) / int_b6ae5569
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Transforming Mecha
 The Onion (Website) / int_b6ae5569
comment
Transforming Mecha: "Kim Jong Il Unfolds Into Giant Robot".
 The Onion (Website) / int_b6ae5569
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Dysfunctional Family
 The Onion (Website) / int_b6cc7fc0
comment
Dysfunctional Family: Pretty much the whole point of Jean Teasdale's regular column, and strongly implied in Roger Dudek's, whose wife has grown to hate him and his jovial, neglectful stupidity ever since their third child was stillborn.
 The Onion (Website) / int_b6cc7fc0
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 The Onion (Website) / int_b6db5695
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Political Overcorrectness
 The Onion (Website) / int_b6db5695
comment
Political Overcorrectness: "Parents Dedicate New College Safe Space In Honor Of Daughter Who Felt Weird In Class Once". "Man Attempts To Assassinate Obama, 'But Not Because He's Black Or Anything'". The video details how the man, despite being an attempted murderer, tries to go out of his way to not have the murder come across as racially motivated — culminating in him settling on shooting Obama with a crossbow with the bolt having the names of great Black historical figures written on it, while wearing a dashiki and kufi and blasting soul music in a nearby car.
 The Onion (Website) / int_b6db5695
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 The Onion (Website) / int_b6de94d1
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Executive Meddling
 The Onion (Website) / int_b6de94d1
comment
Executive Meddling: In-Universe, "Network Executive Cancels Show After Ruining It In Development".
 The Onion (Website) / int_b6de94d1
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 The Onion (Website) / int_b707726f
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Hypocritical Humor
 The Onion (Website) / int_b707726f
comment
Hypocritical Humor: "Female Scientists Say Domestic Abuse Not Problem, Says Team of Female Researchers Who All Recently Sustained Injuries Due to Various Accidents". "Elmore Leonard, Modern Prose Master, Noted For His Terse Prose Style And For Writing About Things Perfectly And Succinctly With A Remarkable Economy Of Words, Unfortunately And Sadly Expired This Gloomy Tuesday At The Age Of 87 Years Old". "Second-Grade Teacher Overhyping Third Grade" ends with the third-grade teacher criticizing the second-grade teacher for exaggerating how difficult/fun third grade will be, before saying that she has to prepare her students for "the really hard stuff in fourth grade." "Man Wearing Cobra Command Shirt Missed The Whole Point of 'G.I. Joe'" — Rowe's employers complain about him wearing a shirt for the fictitious terrorist organization, while they named their company after the president and greatest general of the Confederate States of America, who rebelled against the U.S. in the American Civil War. A recurring aspect of the humor in the mock political cartoons is that Stan Kelly, their fictional author, will happily switch sides on any given argument again and again based on his myopic focus and whether or not things inconvencience him personally. For instance, he will routinely lambast "today's teens" for their various immoral and lecherous habits in contrast to wholesome, all-American children, and then criticize them just as harshly for being teetotallers instead of honoring the American tradition of drinking like fish, since he's a habitual drunkard and doesn't like it when people do anything differently from him.
 The Onion (Website) / int_b707726f
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 The Onion (Website) / int_b70ea2b9
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Seize Them!
 The Onion (Website) / int_b70ea2b9
comment
Seize Them!: "Seize Him!", which also includes a bunch of other tropes expected in this scene: the Evil Overlord, Just Between You and Me, You Have No Chance to Survive, Agony Beam, Surrounded by Idiots, etc.
 The Onion (Website) / int_b70ea2b9
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 The Onion (Website) / int_b77808f2
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"Where Are They Now?" Epilogue
 The Onion (Website) / int_b77808f2
comment
"Where Are They Now?" Epilogue: "Huffington Post Completes 63 Million Page 'Where Are They Now' Slideshow Of Every Celebrity Ever".
 The Onion (Website) / int_b77808f2
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 The Onion (Website) / int_b7d2dbed
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Tonight, Someone Dies
 The Onion (Website) / int_b7d2dbed
comment
Tonight, Someone Dies: "Disney Trailer Teases Exit Of Major Character In Upcoming Film 'Death At Pooh Corner'".
 The Onion (Website) / int_b7d2dbed
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 The Onion (Website) / int_b7e74b77
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Five-Token Band
 The Onion (Website) / int_b7e74b77
comment
Five-Token Band: "Graphic Artist Carefully Assigns Ethnicities To Anthropomorphic Recyclables".
 The Onion (Website) / int_b7e74b77
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 The Onion (Website) / int_b8dde2
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Evil Overlord
 The Onion (Website) / int_b8dde2
comment
Evil Overlord: Gorzo the Mighty, Emperor of the Universe since the 1930s.
 The Onion (Website) / int_b8dde2
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 The Onion (Website) / int_b8e3f20a
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Demoted to Extra
 The Onion (Website) / int_b8e3f20a
comment
Demoted to Extra: The regular columnists have slowly disappeared and/or dwindled in appearances since the late 2000s — Herbert Kornfeld was Killed Off for Real (and possibly Gorzo the Mighty as well), while Jim Anchower was last heard from in 2012, being taken to prison. The other regulars (including Jean Teasdale, Dept. Head Rawlings, Smoove B, Roger Dudek, Jackie Harvey, Amber Richardson, Larry Groznic, and T. Herman Zweibel) continue to make sporadic appearances. (Harvey had previously replaced Arch Danielson way back in 1998.)
 The Onion (Website) / int_b8e3f20a
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 The Onion (Website) / int_ba236071
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It Makes Sense in Context
 The Onion (Website) / int_ba236071
comment
When the print versions need to fill a small space, they put in a small article with nothing but the repeated phrase "Passersby were amazed by the unusually-large amounts of blood." (which also appears in context during "Blood... Blood Everywhere"). In Ad Nauseam, these instances are accompanied by completely off-the-wall "quotes" like "I'm thinking about getting into self-mutilation" or "Congress must be so stoned to come up with all those cool laws."
 The Onion (Website) / int_ba236071
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 The Onion (Website) / int_babc974
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Sadistic Choice
 The Onion (Website) / int_babc974
comment
Sadistic Choice: "So, What's It Going To Be?"
 The Onion (Website) / int_babc974
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 The Onion (Website) / int_bac9f95d
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Sweet Tooth
 The Onion (Website) / int_bac9f95d
comment
Sweet Tooth: Deconstructed with Jean Teasdale. She often writes about her love of chocolate and homemade desserts with ludicrous amounts of sugar. Eventually, she develops type 2 diabetes.
 The Onion (Website) / int_bac9f95d
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 The Onion (Website) / int_bb18a227
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It's All About Me
 The Onion (Website) / int_bb18a227
comment
It's All About Me: "New Google Streep View To Provide Panoramic Imagery Of Meryl Streep". This is much of the gag with Kelly, in that his political views amount to "whatever is most convenient to me, personally." For instance, he is in favor of the bird population crisis, because that way birds don't poop on him.
 The Onion (Website) / int_bb18a227
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 The Onion (Website) / int_bc00493f
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Precision F-Strike
 The Onion (Website) / int_bc00493f
comment
Precision F-Strike: "Playboy Centerfold Has Big Dreams, Tits".
 The Onion (Website) / int_bc00493f
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 The Onion (Website) / int_bcd27e37
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Improbable Aiming Skills
 The Onion (Website) / int_bcd27e37
comment
Improbable Aiming Skills: "Nationals Book It After Foul Ball Accidentally Smashes Capitol Rotunda".
 The Onion (Website) / int_bcd27e37
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 The Onion (Website) / int_bd8aa92a
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Negative Continuity
 The Onion (Website) / int_bd8aa92a
comment
Negative Continuity: The world of The Onion runs on this. For example, in this article, the Supreme Court legalizes gay marriage. The very next day, they ran an article saying the Court voted unanimously to uphold the Defense of Marriage Act.
 The Onion (Website) / int_bd8aa92a
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 The Onion (Website) / int_be1472cc
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[Trope Name]
 The Onion (Website) / int_be1472cc
comment
[Trope Name]: Used in perhaps the most spot-on parody of 24-hour cable news ever, "Breaking News: Some Bullshit Happening Somewhere".
 The Onion (Website) / int_be1472cc
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 The Onion (Website) / int_be8f3491
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The Theme Park Version
 The Onion (Website) / int_be8f3491
comment
The Theme Park Version: "Yellowstone National Park Concerned About Competing 'Yello-Stone Natural Park' Built Right Across Street".
 The Onion (Website) / int_be8f3491
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 The Onion (Website) / int_bee9473c
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The Magazine Rule
 The Onion (Website) / int_bee9473c
comment
The Magazine Rule: "Star Wars Gamer Magazine Boldly Claims To Be The Leading Magazine For Star Wars Gamers". "New Pompous Asshole Magazine To Compete With Cigar Aficionado". "New Demography Today Magazine Targets Demographer Demographic". "Rat Fancy Magazine Fails To Catch On".
 The Onion (Website) / int_bee9473c
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The Onion (Website) / int_bee9473c
 The Onion (Website) / int_bef696dd
type
Mind Screw
 The Onion (Website) / int_bef696dd
comment
Mind Screw: "Obama's Weekly Video Addresses Becoming Increasingly Avant-Garde".
 The Onion (Website) / int_bef696dd
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 The Onion (Website) / int_bef696dd
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 The Onion (Website) / int_bf1255fa
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Really Gets Around
 The Onion (Website) / int_bf1255fa
comment
Really Gets Around: "Town's Teen Pregnancy Spike Due To One Impressive Youth".
 The Onion (Website) / int_bf1255fa
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The Onion (Website) / int_bf1255fa
 The Onion (Website) / int_bf698238
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When All You Have Is a Hammer…
 The Onion (Website) / int_bf698238
comment
When All You Have Is a Hammer…: "If I Had One Piece Of Advice For Today's Youth, It Would Be To Throw A Baseball Really, Really Well".
 The Onion (Website) / int_bf698238
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The Onion (Website) / int_bf698238
 The Onion (Website) / int_bf74d357
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Ugly Guy, Hot Wife
 The Onion (Website) / int_bf74d357
comment
Ugly Guy, Hot Wife: "Woman's Parents Accepting Of Mixed-Attractiveness Relationship".
 The Onion (Website) / int_bf74d357
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 The Onion (Website) / int_c132c0c5
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I Have No Son!
 The Onion (Website) / int_c132c0c5
comment
I Have No Son!: "DEA Official Announces Successful Drug Bust On Son's Room". The official doesn't quite say the words, but he never refers to the suspect as his son.
 The Onion (Website) / int_c132c0c5
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 The Onion (Website) / int_c19bdbe1
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Good Cop/Bad Cop
 The Onion (Website) / int_c19bdbe1
comment
Good Cop/Bad Cop: "Good Cop, Avid-Stamp-Collector Cop Routine Not Working". "Good Cop, Bad Cop Both Racist".
 The Onion (Website) / int_c19bdbe1
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 The Onion (Website) / int_c19bdbe1
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The Onion (Website) / int_c19bdbe1
 The Onion (Website) / int_c2676b00
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Jurisdiction Friction
 The Onion (Website) / int_c2676b00
comment
Jurisdiction Friction: "Local Authorities More Than Happy To Let FBI Take Over".
 The Onion (Website) / int_c2676b00
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 The Onion (Website) / int_c2676b00
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The Onion (Website) / int_c2676b00
 The Onion (Website) / int_c28f97b8
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Indian Burial Ground
 The Onion (Website) / int_c28f97b8
comment
Indian Burial Ground: "Economy Failing Because U.S. Built On Ancient Indian Burial Grounds".
 The Onion (Website) / int_c28f97b8
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 The Onion (Website) / int_c2c15b23
type
Bait-and-Switch Comment
 The Onion (Website) / int_c2c15b23
comment
Bait-and-Switch Comment: Several horoscopes are like this.
 The Onion (Website) / int_c2c15b23
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The Onion (Website) / int_c2c15b23
 The Onion (Website) / int_c2d07094
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Blues
 The Onion (Website) / int_c2d07094
comment
Blues: Exemplified in the recurring character of supposedly legendary Mississippi Delta guitar player Willie "Skipbone" Jackson, who frequently engages in pointless Epic Rocking, sings about how his woman does him wrong, and brings sanctions against Yemen.
 The Onion (Website) / int_c2d07094
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The Onion (Website) / int_c2d07094
 The Onion (Website) / int_c312bb2d
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Too Hot for TV
 The Onion (Website) / int_c312bb2d
comment
Too Hot for TV: "C-SPAN Releases 'Too Hot For C-SPAN!' Video".
 The Onion (Website) / int_c312bb2d
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The Onion (Website) / int_c312bb2d
 The Onion (Website) / int_c325f125
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Ho Yay
 The Onion (Website) / int_c325f125
comment
Ho Yay: invoked "World's Power Brokers Hold Annual Summit Where They Show Each Other Their Penises".
 The Onion (Website) / int_c325f125
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The Onion (Website) / int_c325f125
 The Onion (Website) / int_c326149a
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Hobos
 The Onion (Website) / int_c326149a
comment
Hobos: In "Why Am I The Only Homeless Man Still Wearing Pickle Barrels?", the narrator is a homeless man who was once a powerful railroad tycoon before the fickle hand of fate robbed him of his mansion, wealth and fine suits, and set him on the wandering path of the hobo. He bears himself with dignity, seeking nothing more than a pickle barrel to clad himself in, a stray can of beans for his supper, and the company of his old friend Handsome Joe the Hobo King who lives down by the train yard. In recent days, however, he worries about the looming extinction of his traditional lifestyle — modern hobos have largely abandoned the traditional barrels for flashy, trendy wear such as be-patched trousers and shoes that leave the big toe exposed, suitable barrels have become rare as well as shipping companies have switched to glass jars and cardboard boxes, and fewer and fewer people transport their canned goods in poorly-secured bicycles where even a slight bump might send a hearty stew flying to the street.
 The Onion (Website) / int_c326149a
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The Onion (Website) / int_c326149a
 The Onion (Website) / int_c3ca1064
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Lowest Common Denominator
 The Onion (Website) / int_c3ca1064
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Lowest Common Denominator: In-Universe. "Pop Star's Single, 'Booty Wave', Most Likely Civilization's Downfall". "No One Admits To Singing, Writing, Producing Nation's No. 1 Song".
 The Onion (Website) / int_c3ca1064
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The Onion (Website) / int_c3ca1064
 The Onion (Website) / int_c41668cd
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Needle in a Stack of Needles
 The Onion (Website) / int_c41668cd
comment
Needle in a Stack of Needles: "Thousands Of Girls Match Description Of Missing Sorority Sister".
 The Onion (Website) / int_c41668cd
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The Onion (Website) / int_c41668cd
 The Onion (Website) / int_c420a553
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We Can Rule Together
 The Onion (Website) / int_c420a553
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We Can Rule Together: "'Take Your Place By My Side And We Can Rule New York Forever,' Says Covid To Disgraced, Vengeful Andrew Cuomo".
 The Onion (Website) / int_c420a553
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The Onion (Website) / int_c420a553
 The Onion (Website) / int_c450b632
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So Unfunny, It's Funny
 The Onion (Website) / int_c450b632
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So Unfunny, It's Funny: The entire point of Roger Dudek's "Write On The Funny!" Present in Jean Teasdale's column (with lines like "Osama bin Laden should take a chocolate pill!") and some of the cartoons (when they're not full of Patriotic Fervor and Media Scaremongering).
 The Onion (Website) / int_c450b632
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The Onion (Website) / int_c450b632
 The Onion (Website) / int_c47fed84
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Waking Up at the Morgue
 The Onion (Website) / int_c47fed84
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Waking Up at the Morgue: "Nude Biden Wakes Up On Cold Slab In D.C. Morgue"
 The Onion (Website) / int_c47fed84
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The Onion (Website) / int_c47fed84
 The Onion (Website) / int_c4d293c4
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Let's See YOU Do Better!
 The Onion (Website) / int_c4d293c4
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Let's See YOU Do Better!: "'Well, You Try To Reconstruct Iraq,' Says U.S. Defensive Dept."
 The Onion (Website) / int_c4d293c4
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The Onion (Website) / int_c4d293c4
 The Onion (Website) / int_c5249b29
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Nice Guy
 The Onion (Website) / int_c5249b29
comment
Nice Guy: In "Developmentally Disabled Burger King Employee Only Competent Worker", Andy Ehrman is courteous and helpful to the customers. He politely calls his coworkers out when he sees them doing something wrong, and is willing to do the work himself if they're too lazy to do anything. In "Friends Don't Understand How Man Not Depressed," Carl, the man in question, is described as "super nice" and remains friendly and sociable despite his low income and inability to get a girlfriend.
 The Onion (Website) / int_c5249b29
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The Onion (Website) / int_c5249b29
 The Onion (Website) / int_c59cfa2e
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Felony Misdemeanor
 The Onion (Website) / int_c59cfa2e
comment
Felony Misdemeanor: "USDA Official Takes Brave Stand Against Interstate Potato Pricing".
 The Onion (Website) / int_c59cfa2e
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The Onion (Website) / int_c59cfa2e
 The Onion (Website) / int_c75df49a
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Shout-Out
 The Onion (Website) / int_c75df49a
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Shout-Out: Oddly, this early article mentions the three guys who were behind the direction of [adult swim]: Dave Willis, Keith Crofford, and Mike Lazzo. This article casts Rumsfeld as an Expy of M. Bison. This recent one casts the Supreme Court as being somewhat like the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers, with former Chief Justice John Marshall as a Zordon-style Oracular Head and a Robot Buddy named Amicus (much like Alpha 5/6).
 The Onion (Website) / int_c75df49a
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The Onion (Website) / int_c75df49a
 The Onion (Website) / int_c7d86fbe
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Plausible Deniability
 The Onion (Website) / int_c7d86fbe
comment
Plausible Deniability: "Paul Ryan Announces New Congress Sexual Harassment Training Will Create Safe Work Atmosphere, Plausible Deniability".
 The Onion (Website) / int_c7d86fbe
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The Onion (Website) / int_c7d86fbe
 The Onion (Website) / int_c85198a2
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Hype Aversion
 The Onion (Website) / int_c85198a2
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Hype Aversion: In-Universe, "New Apple Friend Bar Gives Customers Someone To Talk At About Mac Products".
 The Onion (Website) / int_c85198a2
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 The Onion (Website) / int_c9597a03
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Self-Deprecation
 The Onion (Website) / int_c9597a03
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Self-Deprecation: "New Study Finds 'The Onion' Has Never Been More Popular, More Beloved, Or More Respected", written in the wake of the backlash towards their Quvenzhane Wallis insult. Website's Built-In Search Engine Just Pathetic nearly always turns up when using the site's search feature, no matter what terms are put in. In-universe with "Self-Deprecating Man Just Scratching Surface Of How Pathetic He Actually Is". "Clear From Stock Music That Video Never Meant To Be Watched With Sound On". After Project Veritas attempted to expose The Washington Post as "fake news" by tricking them into posting false information about Alabama senatorial candidate Roy Moore — which the Post did not fall for and responded by exposing the attempted sting — The Onion then published "'The Onion' Has Obtained Exclusive Information From Jaime Phillips About Roy Moore's Sexual Indiscretions", in which the publication praises itself for being the only outlet brave enough to publish such information while constantly hinting at the level of ingorance necessary for a major outlet to take the bait.
 The Onion (Website) / int_c9597a03
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The Onion (Website) / int_c9597a03
 The Onion (Website) / int_c9869c78
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I Know Madden Kombat
 The Onion (Website) / int_c9869c78
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I Know Madden Kombat: "LBJ Deploys Green Bay Packers to Vietnam". Explanation For non-Americans, The Green Bay Packers are a professional American football team from Wisconsin.
 The Onion (Website) / int_c9869c78
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The Onion (Website) / int_c9869c78
 The Onion (Website) / int_ca14fa2b
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Music Is Politics
 The Onion (Website) / int_ca14fa2b
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Music Is Politics: "Song Banged Out In Half Hour By Professional Songwriters To Define Teenager’s Personality For Next Two Years".
 The Onion (Website) / int_ca14fa2b
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The Onion (Website) / int_ca14fa2b
 The Onion (Website) / int_ca22ca46
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Madwoman in the Attic
 The Onion (Website) / int_ca22ca46
comment
Madwoman in the Attic: "LAPD Discovers Hidden Deformed Olsen Triplet".
 The Onion (Website) / int_ca22ca46
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 The Onion (Website) / int_ca87e3ec
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No Name Given
 The Onion (Website) / int_ca87e3ec
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Ambiguously used in the similar sports feature Fan on the Street, which always shows the same three photos with no names or occupations given. Lampshaded by The Onion itself here.
 The Onion (Website) / int_ca87e3ec
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The Onion (Website) / int_ca87e3ec
 The Onion (Website) / int_cb4c72d8
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Rerouted from Heaven
 The Onion (Website) / int_cb4c72d8
comment
Rerouted from Heaven: "Mother Teresa Sent to Hell in Wacky Afterlife Mix-Up".
 The Onion (Website) / int_cb4c72d8
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 The Onion (Website) / int_cb643ebb
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Everything's Deader with Zombies
 The Onion (Website) / int_cb643ebb
comment
Everything's Deader with Zombies: "Zombie Reagan Raised From Grave To Lead GOP", among many others.
 The Onion (Website) / int_cb643ebb
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 The Onion (Website) / int_cda501da
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Killed Off for Real
 The Onion (Website) / int_cda501da
comment
Killed Off for Real: Averted with Doc and Kenny, who came back a couple months later with their heads wrapped in bloody bandages.
 The Onion (Website) / int_cda501da
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 The Onion (Website) / int_cdd835ce
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Dude, Not Funny!
 The Onion (Website) / int_cdd835ce
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Dude, Not Funny!: In-Universe, "Circus Train Wreck Not Funny, Investigators Emphasize".
 The Onion (Website) / int_cdd835ce
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The Onion (Website) / int_cdd835ce
 The Onion (Website) / int_cde840c1
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Pro Wrestling Is Real
 The Onion (Website) / int_cde840c1
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Pro Wrestling Is Real: Inverted. According to this video, it's the fans that are fake, not necessarily the wrestlers.
 The Onion (Website) / int_cde840c1
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The Onion (Website) / int_cde840c1
 The Onion (Website) / int_ce6555f0
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Lighter and Softer
 The Onion (Website) / int_ce6555f0
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Lighter and Softer: "New David Simon Project To Investigate Happy, Upper-Middle-Class Streets Of Wilmette, Illinois".
 The Onion (Website) / int_ce6555f0
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The Onion (Website) / int_ce6555f0
 The Onion (Website) / int_cec142d6
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Knuckle Cracking
 The Onion (Website) / int_cec142d6
comment
Knuckle Cracking: The intimidating spinal variant in "Bad Guy Signals Badness with Neck Crack".
 The Onion (Website) / int_cec142d6
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The Onion (Website) / int_cec142d6
 The Onion (Website) / int_d148b019
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Mundane Made Awesome
 The Onion (Website) / int_d148b019
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Mundane Made Awesome: "Excited Red Sox Fans Eagerly Await Debut Of Matsuzaka's 'Ultimate Galactic Dragon Gyroball Pitch Power Explosion'", complete with an "Over Nine Thousand" reference. "Police Seize More Than $50 In Wire From Nation's Wealthiest Crystal Meth Dealer". "Yard Sign With Candidate's Name On It Electrifies Congressional Race". "Les Misérables Takes Home Oscar For Most Sound". "Ceiling Fan Transforms Apartment Without Air Conditioning Into Frosty Wonderland". "DEA Official Announces Successful Drug Bust On Son's Room". "Special Boy With Freakishly Large Brain Wins Spelling Bee", in which the hosts of Today Now! treat a child with an above-average ability like an autistic savant. "Opium-Inspired Ad Executive Composes Epic Tums Jingle". "South Korean President Eats Full, Balanced Meal In Show Of Strength Against North".
 The Onion (Website) / int_d148b019
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 The Onion (Website) / int_d20b3e5d
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First-Contact Math
 The Onion (Website) / int_d20b3e5d
comment
First-Contact Math: "Earth Contacted By Extraterrestrial Nerds".
 The Onion (Website) / int_d20b3e5d
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The Onion (Website) / int_d20b3e5d
 The Onion (Website) / int_d2566b32
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Hunting the Most Dangerous Game
 The Onion (Website) / int_d2566b32
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Hunting the Most Dangerous Game: "Maverick Hunter's 'Human Beings As Prey' Plan Not As Challenging As Expected" is a deconstruction. The human prey wasn't conditioned to survive in the jungle, and died in ways the titular hunter didn't even consider was fathomable. "Lindsey Graham Cowers Behind Tree Trunk As Trump's Hunting Dogs Close In".
 The Onion (Website) / int_d2566b32
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 The Onion (Website) / int_d259fea2
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Speak Ill of the Dead
 The Onion (Website) / int_d259fea2
comment
Speak Ill of the Dead: In "Fun Toy Banned Because of Three Stupid Dead Kids".
 The Onion (Website) / int_d259fea2
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The Onion (Website) / int_d259fea2
 The Onion (Website) / int_d295a79e
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Just Here for Godzilla
 The Onion (Website) / int_d295a79e
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Just Here for Godzilla:invoked Parodied in "Guinness Releases Abridged Book Of Freaks For Readers Who Just Want The Good Stuff".
 The Onion (Website) / int_d295a79e
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The Onion (Website) / int_d295a79e
 The Onion (Website) / int_d2c0e2ed
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Schmuck Bait
 The Onion (Website) / int_d2c0e2ed
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After Project Veritas attempted to expose The Washington Post as "fake news" by tricking them into posting false information about Alabama senatorial candidate Roy Moore — which the Post did not fall for and responded by exposing the attempted sting — The Onion then published "'The Onion' Has Obtained Exclusive Information From Jaime Phillips About Roy Moore's Sexual Indiscretions", in which the publication praises itself for being the only outlet brave enough to publish such information while constantly hinting at the level of ingorance necessary for a major outlet to take the bait.
 The Onion (Website) / int_d2c0e2ed
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 The Onion (Website) / int_d355ba37
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Turned Against Their Masters
 The Onion (Website) / int_d355ba37
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Turned Against Their Masters: "'I'm Afraid You Won't Be Coming To Our New Headquarters,' Declares Alexa As Amazon Execs Find Themselves Locked In Seattle Office".
 The Onion (Website) / int_d355ba37
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 The Onion (Website) / int_d45c0b86
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Refuge in Audacity
 The Onion (Website) / int_d45c0b86
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Refuge in Audacity: "Mexico Killed In Drug Deal". "They Can Never Take Away My Memories", by Jerry Sandusky. "Arizona Man Steals Bush's Identity, Vetoes Bill, Meets With Mexican President".
 The Onion (Website) / int_d45c0b86
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The Onion (Website) / int_d45c0b86
 The Onion (Website) / int_d4689f3
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Sarcasm Failure
 The Onion (Website) / int_d4689f3
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Sarcasm Failure: Although most articles by The Onion are written as satire, a few are technically accurate news accounts. "Muscleman Put In Charge Of World's Fifth-Largest Economy", filled with legit facts and news due to being so unbelievable at the time. For the Mayweather/Pacquiao fight, The Onion wrote the technically completely accurate "Philippines Citizens Currently Watching Their Congressman Fight A Guy On TV" The more serious version of this trope, pertaining to American healthcare, could be found in "Tips For Not Condemning Millions Of Americans To Sickness And Death", notable for the usual irreverence being absent.
 The Onion (Website) / int_d4689f3
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The Onion (Website) / int_d4689f3
 The Onion (Website) / int_d46ddfa2
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CloudCuckooLander
 The Onion (Website) / int_d46ddfa2
comment
Part of Jean Teasdale's Cloud Cuckoolander act is her never accepting responsibility or blame for her faults, whether it's getting firednote (she got caught using eBay — on the boss's computer, no less — and remains convinced that the boss just hated her) or her poor sense of humornote (a friend declines to use Jean's jokes in a stand-up act because they're pithy and toothless, but Jean thinks the friend was threatened by the idea of a superior comic). When a local magazine calls her article out for being garbage, she insists that they don't know what they're talking about — while doing everything that they said makes her articles garbage.
 The Onion (Website) / int_d46ddfa2
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 The Onion (Website) / int_d4fc9734
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Salt the Earth
 The Onion (Website) / int_d4fc9734
comment
Salt the Earth: "Snuggle Marketers Kill Off 18-34 Demographic Rather Than Let It Fall Into Hands Of Competitor".
 The Onion (Website) / int_d4fc9734
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The Onion (Website) / int_d4fc9734
 The Onion (Website) / int_d563a53c
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Batman Grabs a Gun
 The Onion (Website) / int_d563a53c
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Batman Grabs a Gun: Played for Laughs as the principles which are broken in desperation are really silly to begin with: "Libertarian Reluctantly Calls Fire Department".
 The Onion (Website) / int_d563a53c
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 The Onion (Website) / int_d5dec29e
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It's Popular, Now It Sucks!
 The Onion (Website) / int_d5dec29e
comment
It's Popular, Now It Sucks!: In-Universe, "Trekkies Bash New 'Star Trek' Film As 'Fun, Watchable'".
 The Onion (Website) / int_d5dec29e
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The Onion (Website) / int_d5dec29e
 The Onion (Website) / int_d66cd0e6
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Training from Hell
 The Onion (Website) / int_d66cd0e6
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Training from Hell: "'I Want To Be In The Olympics Someday,' Says Delusional Kindergartner Already 4 Years Behind In Elite Training" claims that the titular kindergartener Mia Gaughan is already 4 years behind in elite training, and calls her narcissistic and foolish for even thinking of competing in the Olympics when she's that far behind.
 The Onion (Website) / int_d66cd0e6
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 The Onion (Website) / int_d72164e9
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Must Have Nicotine
 The Onion (Website) / int_d72164e9
comment
Must Have Nicotine: "Smoking Now Permitted Only In Special Room In Iowa".
 The Onion (Website) / int_d72164e9
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The Onion (Website) / int_d72164e9
 The Onion (Website) / int_d739e2c2
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Exponential Plot Delay
 The Onion (Website) / int_d739e2c2
comment
Exponential Plot Delay: "Final Minutes Of Last Harry Potter Movie To Be Split Into Seven Separate Films".
 The Onion (Website) / int_d739e2c2
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The Onion (Website) / int_d739e2c2
 The Onion (Website) / int_d80fb43b
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Murder Simulators
 The Onion (Website) / int_d80fb43b
comment
Murder Simulators: "Video-Game Violence Blamed In Giant-Robot Shooting Spree". "Study Finds Cable-TV Violence Leads To Network-TV Violence".
 The Onion (Website) / int_d80fb43b
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The Onion (Website) / int_d80fb43b
 The Onion (Website) / int_d94ff9b3
type
Wall of Text
 The Onion (Website) / int_d94ff9b3
comment
Wall of Text: "Nation Shudders At Large Block Of Uninterrupted Text". "Frustrated Obama Sends Nation Rambling 75,000-Word E-Mail".
 The Onion (Website) / int_d94ff9b3
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_d94ff9b3
 The Onion (Website) / int_d986d0ed
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Evil Only Has to Win Once
 The Onion (Website) / int_d986d0ed
comment
Evil Only Has to Win Once: "USSR Wins Space Race As U.S. Shuts Down Shuttle Program".
 The Onion (Website) / int_d986d0ed
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The Onion (Website) / int_d986d0ed
 The Onion (Website) / int_d9cf40fa
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Screw This, I'm Outta Here
 The Onion (Website) / int_d9cf40fa
comment
Screw This, I'm Outta Here: "U.S. Troops Draw Up Own Exit Strategy". "Health Experts Recommend Standing Up At Desk, Leaving Office, Never Coming Back".
 The Onion (Website) / int_d9cf40fa
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The Onion (Website) / int_d9cf40fa
 The Onion (Website) / int_da41243d
type
Spoiler
 The Onion (Website) / int_da41243d
comment
Spoiler: In-universe, "Final Harry Potter Book Blasted For Containing Spoilers".
 The Onion (Website) / int_da41243d
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_da41243d
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The Onion (Website) / int_da41243d
 The Onion (Website) / int_daa33a93
type
Wealthy Yacht Owner
 The Onion (Website) / int_daa33a93
comment
Wealthy Yacht Owner: "Rising Income Inequality Causing Wealthy Americans To Take On Second Sailboat". "Rich Guy Wins Yacht Race".
 The Onion (Website) / int_daa33a93
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_daa33a93
 The Onion (Website) / int_db2f3581
type
All Girls Want Bad Boys
 The Onion (Website) / int_db2f3581
comment
All Girls Want Bad Boys: "Irrepressible Bad Boy Slays Seven". Parodied to the point where it crosses over into Screw the Rules, I'm Beautiful!. The bad boy in question is a sadistic, sociopathic mass murderer, yet the media still swoons over him because he's a handsome film star.
 The Onion (Website) / int_db2f3581
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The Onion (Website) / int_db2f3581
 The Onion (Website) / int_dd22df26
type
Hands-On Approach
 The Onion (Website) / int_dd22df26
comment
Hands-On Approach: "Romney stands behind Ryan to Show Good Campaigning Stance".
 The Onion (Website) / int_dd22df26
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_dd22df26
 The Onion (Website) / int_dda99fa8
type
Despair Event Horizon
 The Onion (Website) / int_dda99fa8
comment
Despair Event Horizon: "Fuck Everything, Nation Reports", after the Sandy Hook shooting. "Man Who Thought He'd Lost All Hope Loses Last Additional Bit of Hope He Didn't Know He Still Had". "'No Way To Prevent This,' Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens", after the Isla Vista shooting and many since. It states that Americans treat mass shootings as an inevitability, and that they feel helpless against them. Twice in a row (timestamped 10:33 AM and 10:42 AM 8/4/19) in response to the back-to-back shootings in El Paso and Dayton. "Report: Make It Stop", occasionally reposted much like the "No Way To Prevent This" article in response to particularly agonizing and bizarre news days. The variant linked for example shows images of Logan Paul, Tide pods, an Alexa speaker, and Donald Trump.
 The Onion (Website) / int_dda99fa8
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The Onion (Website) / int_dda99fa8
 The Onion (Website) / int_de7891ec
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Continuity Creep
 The Onion (Website) / int_de7891ec
comment
Continuity Creep: The show on IFC had some recurring stories, such as the one involving time travelers trying to kill Suri Cruise and the FDA official yelling for everyone to start eating healthier.
 The Onion (Website) / int_de7891ec
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The Onion (Website) / int_de7891ec
 The Onion (Website) / int_deecc9eb
type
Awful Wedded Life
 The Onion (Website) / int_deecc9eb
comment
Awful Wedded Life: Jean Teasdale and her "Hubby Rick". Rick is an alcoholic who spends most of his free time at a bar, and her interactions with Jean mainly consist of him putting her down or making fun of her; Jean, meanwhile, got her ideas about marriage from Phyllis Diller's routines and Erma Bombeck's columns, and is oblivious to the fact that their very one-sided "war of the sexes" is anything but emotionally deadening, let alone cute. In one article, she writes about her astonishment upon learning that, in theory, a marriage is supposed to be happy and harmonious.
 The Onion (Website) / int_deecc9eb
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The Onion (Website) / int_deecc9eb
 The Onion (Website) / int_df1793de
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Updated Re-release
 The Onion (Website) / int_df1793de
comment
Updated Re-release: "Classic Movie 'Avatar' Updated For Today's Audiences".
 The Onion (Website) / int_df1793de
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The Onion (Website) / int_df1793de
 The Onion (Website) / int_df5ab39e
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Franchise Zombie
 The Onion (Website) / int_df5ab39e
comment
Franchise Zombie: In-Universe, "Final Minutes Of Last Harry Potter Movie To Be Split Into Seven Separate Films".
 The Onion (Website) / int_df5ab39e
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_df5ab39e
 The Onion (Website) / int_e0904aa4
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No Party Like a Donner Party
 The Onion (Website) / int_e0904aa4
comment
No Party Like a Donner Party: Played for Laughs in "In Retrospect, I Guess We Might Have Resorted To Cannibalism A Bit Early", where five people stuck in an elevator kill and cannibalize a sixth — less than an hour after gettting stuck.
 The Onion (Website) / int_e0904aa4
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The Onion (Website) / int_e0904aa4
 The Onion (Website) / int_e0e8cce6
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Silly Rabbit, Idealism Is for Kids!
 The Onion (Website) / int_e0e8cce6
comment
Silly Rabbit, Idealism Is for Kids!: "Grown Adult Actually Expects To Be Happy".
 The Onion (Website) / int_e0e8cce6
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_e0e8cce6
 The Onion (Website) / int_e132a621
type
Fluffy Cloud Heaven
 The Onion (Website) / int_e132a621
comment
Fluffy Cloud Heaven: The tendency of many editorial cartoonists to draw bland "tributes" with dead celebrities at the Pearly Gates is mocked in Kelly's panels, which often depict famous people that he hates for some reason suffering in Fire and Brimstone Hell.
 The Onion (Website) / int_e132a621
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The Onion (Website) / int_e132a621
 The Onion (Website) / int_e1721fd1
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Antiquated Linguistics
 The Onion (Website) / int_e1721fd1
comment
Antiquated Linguistics: For example: "Per the Mysterious Congressman's directive, the debate will held in one fortnight's time on the shores of the Tidal Basin at day's first light. It will be broadcast simultaneously by all network and cable-news channels."
 The Onion (Website) / int_e1721fd1
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The Onion (Website) / int_e1721fd1
 The Onion (Website) / int_e2023325
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StrawmanPolitical
 The Onion (Website) / int_e2023325
comment
Strawman Political: The editorial cartoons are done by a strawman conservative who draws even more ridiculous strawman liberals.note If you are also a conservative, prepare to sometimes agree with the strawman.
 The Onion (Website) / int_e2023325
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The Onion (Website) / int_e2023325
 The Onion (Website) / int_e21faf11
type
Friend to All Living Things
 The Onion (Website) / int_e21faf11
comment
Friend to All Living Things: "Geese All Flying To Andy García's House For Winter".
 The Onion (Website) / int_e21faf11
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The Onion (Website) / int_e21faf11
 The Onion (Website) / int_e24e15a6
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Has a Type
 The Onion (Website) / int_e24e15a6
comment
Has a Type: "Area Man Saddened To Realize Short Jewish Women With An Interest In Theater His Type".
 The Onion (Website) / int_e24e15a6
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_e24e15a6
 The Onion (Website) / int_e2a41c3b
type
Literal-Minded
 The Onion (Website) / int_e2a41c3b
comment
Literal-Minded: "Concentric Circles Emanating From Glowing Red Dot".
 The Onion (Website) / int_e2a41c3b
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_e2a41c3b
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The Onion (Website) / int_e2a41c3b
 The Onion (Website) / int_e303d198
type
Whole-Plot Reference
 The Onion (Website) / int_e303d198
comment
Whole-Plot Reference: Apple iPhone fever as The Emperor's New Clothes in "Apple Claims New iPhone Only Visible To Most Loyal Of Customers". A combination of Aladdin, The Little Mermaid (1989) and Pocahontas: "Lovestruck Arabian Princess Begs Father To Spare John Kerry's Life".
 The Onion (Website) / int_e303d198
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The Onion (Website) / int_e303d198
 The Onion (Website) / int_e313b4e7
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Manchild
 The Onion (Website) / int_e313b4e7
comment
Manchild: Exaggerated in "Nation Down To Last Hundred Grown-Ups". Donald Trump's sons tend to be written as this, including "Trump Boys Beg Father To Nominate G.I. Joe Action Figure Cobra Commander For VA Secretary" or "Trump Boys Forge Father's Signature On Letters They Wrote Excusing Them From Any More Testifying".
 The Onion (Website) / int_e313b4e7
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_e313b4e7
 The Onion (Website) / int_e35b1a96
type
Everything Is Big in Texas
 The Onion (Website) / int_e35b1a96
comment
Everything is Big in Texas: "Texas Constructs U.S. Border Wall To Keep Out Unwanted Americans".
 The Onion (Website) / int_e35b1a96
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1.0
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The Onion (Website) / int_e35b1a96
 The Onion (Website) / int_e3b2b2
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Japandering
 The Onion (Website) / int_e3b2b2
comment
Japandering: "Obama Earns Money For U.S. By Appearing In Japanese Television Commercial".
 The Onion (Website) / int_e3b2b2
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_e3b2b2
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The Onion (Website) / int_e3b2b2
 The Onion (Website) / int_e409de66
type
Manipulative Editing
 The Onion (Website) / int_e409de66
comment
Manipulative Editing: Parodied in the video "Man Had Sex With Wife Thousands Of Times Before Killing Her", part of the fictional True Crime Show Within a Show Raw Justice. The "real" story appears to be a tragic accident in which a normal couple were having passionate sex in the kitchen before the husband performed a possibly lethal "donkey punch" on his wife. Raw Justice's version turns it into an oversensationalized crime story about a "coital boogeyman" who held his wife captive for years as a Sex Slave before finally and coldly committing premeditated murder. They use every editing trick in the book to make the husband seem like a monstrous rapist and the wife as a battered victim with Stockholm Syndrome, while the actual content of the story is anything but horrific.
 The Onion (Website) / int_e409de66
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The Onion (Website) / int_e409de66
 The Onion (Website) / int_e4cd6f47
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Wedding Deadline
 The Onion (Website) / int_e4cd6f47
comment
Wedding Deadline: Revealed at the end in "I'm Sure That Out-Of-Control Water-Skier Will Avoid Our Outdoor Wedding", who is imminently going to ruin the wedding, The protagonist was "forced to leave my first love, a working-class Irish bootblack named Patrick, to marry a rich man who pleased my father but whom I could never truly love, [...] Patrick, who just so happens to be that same directionless water-skier. Yes, nothing can go wrong now."
 The Onion (Website) / int_e4cd6f47
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The Onion (Website) / int_e4cd6f47
 The Onion (Website) / int_e5427a31
type
Funk
 The Onion (Website) / int_e5427a31
comment
Funk: "Clinton Threatens to Drop Da Bomb on Iraq". "National Funk Congress Deadlocked on Get Up/Get Down Issue".
 The Onion (Website) / int_e5427a31
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_e5427a31
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The Onion (Website) / int_e5427a31
 The Onion (Website) / int_e545d293
type
Narm
 The Onion (Website) / int_e545d293
comment
Narm: Invoked with "Study: Children of Divorce Twice As Likely to Write Bad Poetry" (no longer available online but can be found in the book Dispatches from the Tenth Circle).
 The Onion (Website) / int_e545d293
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The Onion (Website) / int_e545d293
 The Onion (Website) / int_e567510d
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Determinator
 The Onion (Website) / int_e567510d
comment
Determinator: "'The Onion' Vows To Carry On Iran's Nuclear Weapons Program Until The Job Is Done". "Badly Injured Man Not Done Partying Yet". "Presidential Limo Guns It Around Corner In Attempt to Toss Robert Mueller from Roof".
 The Onion (Website) / int_e567510d
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The Onion (Website) / int_e567510d
 The Onion (Website) / int_e5fd8bc2
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Hate Sink
 The Onion (Website) / int_e5fd8bc2
comment
Hate Sink: "Mom Hates Bad Guy In Movie".
 The Onion (Website) / int_e5fd8bc2
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_e5fd8bc2
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The Onion (Website) / int_e5fd8bc2
 The Onion (Website) / int_e624f0e8
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Suspiciously Specific Denial
 The Onion (Website) / int_e624f0e8
comment
Suspiciously Specific Denial: Inverted; "Google Responds To Privacy Concerns With Unsettlingly Specific Apology". "When I Have Kids, I'm Not Going To Drown Them". "Attempt To Recreate Incredible Night Out From Youth Works Perfectly". "Life Jackets Issued To All Americans For Some Reason". Nothing to worry about though! Also, Homeland Security recommends wearing them at all times and the Navy is building shipyards in Idaho, Missouri, and Ohio — which, for context, are all landlocked statesnote (in terms of the oceans — a large portion of Ohio's northern border is Lake Erie). No reason, though. "New Study Finds 'The Onion' Has Never Been More Popular, More Beloved, or More Respected". Explanation This one showed up shortly after The Onion's Twitter account insulted 9-year-old Oscar nominee Quvenzhane Wallis by calling her a very offensive word. "Gore Camp Denies Putting Bush Camp's Canoe In Treetop".
 The Onion (Website) / int_e624f0e8
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The Onion (Website) / int_e624f0e8
 The Onion (Website) / int_e69efe7f
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Lysistrata Gambit
 The Onion (Website) / int_e69efe7f
comment
Lysistrata Gambit: "Congressional Aides Withholding Sex Until Budget Compromise Is Reached".
 The Onion (Website) / int_e69efe7f
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The Onion (Website) / int_e69efe7f
 The Onion (Website) / int_e6c88e42
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Old Shame
 The Onion (Website) / int_e6c88e42
comment
Old Shame: In-universe, "Energy Secretary Just Assumed Cabinet Knew He Did Porn Films In The '80s".
 The Onion (Website) / int_e6c88e42
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_e6c88e42
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The Onion (Website) / int_e6c88e42
 The Onion (Website) / int_e78aa97d
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Rubber-Forehead Aliens
 The Onion (Website) / int_e78aa97d
comment
Rubber-Forehead Aliens: "Star Trek Introduces Alien Character With Totally Different Forehead Wrinkles".
 The Onion (Website) / int_e78aa97d
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_e78aa97d
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The Onion (Website) / int_e78aa97d
 The Onion (Website) / int_e8f91cb9
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Panty Thief
 The Onion (Website) / int_e8f91cb9
comment
Panty Thief: "Six Dead In West Point Panty Raid".
 The Onion (Website) / int_e8f91cb9
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_e8f91cb9
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The Onion (Website) / int_e8f91cb9
 The Onion (Website) / int_e98babd8
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Screw the Rules, I'm Beautiful!
 The Onion (Website) / int_e98babd8
comment
Screw the Rules, I'm Beautiful!: "It's Okay, I'm Attractive".
 The Onion (Website) / int_e98babd8
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_e98babd8
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The Onion (Website) / int_e98babd8
 The Onion (Website) / int_e9fb38
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The Talk
 The Onion (Website) / int_e9fb38
comment
The Talk: "Daughter Thinks It's Time To Have Sex Talk With Parents".
 The Onion (Website) / int_e9fb38
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_e9fb38
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The Onion (Website) / int_e9fb38
 The Onion (Website) / int_ea46254a
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Jiggle Physics
 The Onion (Website) / int_ea46254a
comment
Jiggle Physics: "New Video Game Technology Finally Allows Rendering Of Smaller Breasts".
 The Onion (Website) / int_ea46254a
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_ea46254a
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The Onion (Website) / int_ea46254a
 The Onion (Website) / int_ea8168f
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Crossover Cosmology
 The Onion (Website) / int_ea8168f
comment
Crossover Cosmology: Pope Francis Hosts Feathered Serpent God As Part Of Deity Exchange Program. Kukulkan, the Mayan feathered serpent god spends this month in Vatican City, while the next month the Abrahamic God stays with the Taoist thunder god Lei Gong in the cloud kingdom over Tibet.
 The Onion (Website) / int_ea8168f
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 The Onion (Website) / int_ea8168f
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 The Onion (Website)
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The Onion (Website) / int_ea8168f
 The Onion (Website) / int_eaf5a1ac
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Groin Attack
 The Onion (Website) / int_eaf5a1ac
comment
Groin Attack: In "In Bipartisan Spirit, Obama Makes Deal To Get Kicked In Balls", political analysts give their opinions on a deal where President Obama agrees to let Republicans in Congress repeatedly kick him in the balls in exchange for nothing.
 The Onion (Website) / int_eaf5a1ac
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The Onion (Website) / int_eaf5a1ac
 The Onion (Website) / int_eb6912
type
Pretty Fly for a White Guy
 The Onion (Website) / int_eb6912
comment
Pretty Fly for a White Guy: Herbert Kornfeld, Accounts Receivable.
 The Onion (Website) / int_eb6912
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_eb6912
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The Onion (Website) / int_eb6912
 The Onion (Website) / int_eb8ec7c8
type
Jerkass
 The Onion (Website) / int_eb8ec7c8
comment
Jerkass: "Asshole Admits To Being Asshole In Supreme Asshole Move" "Asshole Proud of Asshole Son," which features a racist, sexist jerk who's pleased that his son's turning out like him.
 The Onion (Website) / int_eb8ec7c8
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1.0
 The Onion (Website) / int_eb8ec7c8
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The Onion (Website) / int_eb8ec7c8
 The Onion (Website) / int_eb9e6184
type
Stupid Sexy Flanders
 The Onion (Website) / int_eb9e6184
comment
Stupid Sexy Flanders: "Running Back's Buttocks Undulate Hypnotically In Sexuality-Challenging Slow-Motion Replay".
 The Onion (Website) / int_eb9e6184
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1.0
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 The Onion (Website) / int_ebe5d89c
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Disco Dan
 The Onion (Website) / int_ebe5d89c
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Founder and editor of The Onion T. Herman Zweibel far surpasses a Disco Dan, being positively ancient (over 140 years old) and sheltered from modern life for a century by his severe decrepitude and distaste for his fellow man. He seems dimly aware of what's going on in the world, but for the most part, he approaches everything with the zealous tyranny of a Gilded Age robber baron — when he learns of the death of print and the new tycoons of social media, his first instinct is to have Zuckerberg and Musk killed.
 The Onion (Website) / int_ebe5d89c
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 The Onion (Website) / int_eddb470c
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Have I Mentioned I Am Sexually Active Today?
 The Onion (Website) / int_eddb470c
comment
Have I Mentioned I Am Sexually Active Today?: "Teen Boys Losing Virginity Earlier and Earlier, Report Teen Boys".
 The Onion (Website) / int_eddb470c
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 The Onion (Website) / int_ee9877ea
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Too Good for This Sinful Earth
 The Onion (Website) / int_ee9877ea
comment
Too Good for This Sinful Earth: "Beautiful Cinnamon Roll Too Good For This World, Too Pure" applies the trope to a pastry instead of a person.
 The Onion (Website) / int_ee9877ea
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 The Onion (Website) / int_eef85d73
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People's Republic of Tyranny
 The Onion (Website) / int_eef85d73
comment
People's Republic of Tyranny: In "Clinton Declares Self President For Life", Clinton renames the US to the "Holy United Imperial Americlintonian Demopublic" — right after naming himself President-for-Life and invalidating all election results.
 The Onion (Website) / int_eef85d73
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 The Onion (Website) / int_eef90616
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Bread, Eggs, Milk, Squick
 The Onion (Website) / int_eef90616
comment
Bread, Eggs, Milk, Squick: An autistic reporter covering a train accident said that "Before the train came to a complete stop, it ran over three trash bags, a piece of gum, a Snickers wrapper, a man, and a glove." "Animator Misses The Birth Of His Child So Mr. Incredible Could Have Consistently Sized Penis Bulge":
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 The Onion (Website) / int_ef81dc82
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Fantasy Sequence
 The Onion (Website) / int_ef81dc82
comment
Fantasy Sequence: "Twelve Customers Gunned Down In Convenience-Store Clerk's Imagination". "Kidnapped Boy Found Safe, Imagines Kidnapped Boy".
 The Onion (Website) / int_ef81dc82
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 The Onion (Website) / int_efd95d99
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Poking Dead Things with a Stick
 The Onion (Website) / int_efd95d99
comment
Poking Dead Things with a Stick: The article "Poke with Stick Confirms Raccoon's Death" — two brothers, ages 9 and 11, obtain conclusive proof that they have found a dead raccoon after prodding it several times with a stick after earlier tests involving throwing rocks and an empty soda can yielded no results.
 The Onion (Website) / int_efd95d99
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 The Onion (Website) / int_efef300
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Put on a Bus to Hell
 The Onion (Website) / int_efef300
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Put on a Bus to Hell: Jim Anchower hasn't been heard from since 2012, when he was arrested and sentenced to six months in jail.
 The Onion (Website) / int_efef300
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 The Onion (Website) / int_eff83d77
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Mundane Utility
 The Onion (Website) / int_eff83d77
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Mundane Utility: "NASA Chief Under Fire For Personal Shuttle Use". "Jimmie Johnson Disqualified After Pre-Race Inspection Reveals Car To Be Airplane".
 The Onion (Website) / int_eff83d77
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 The Onion (Website) / int_f0089082
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Early-Bird Cameo
 The Onion (Website) / int_f0089082
comment
Early-Bird Cameo: In "Biden Criticized For Appearing In Hennessy ads", a spokesperson for Hennessy was seen on Fact Zone, which is where the show on IFC would take place about a year after the video was released. The show would occasionally be mentioned on the news ticker on some other videos.
 The Onion (Website) / int_f0089082
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 The Onion (Website) / int_f10d3363
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Distracted by the Sexy
 The Onion (Website) / int_f10d3363
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Distracted by the Sexy: "Poll Finds Majority Of Male Voters Would Have Elected Naked Woman". (NSFW). In "Recent Rise In International Disputes Traced Back To Cute U.N. Tour Guide", many international delegates were too smitten for an attractive tour guide to do their jobs properly. Played for Horror in that these international delegates' failure to do their jobs have inadvertently led to or contributed to political conflicts and humanitarian crises.
 The Onion (Website) / int_f10d3363
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 The Onion (Website) / int_f15c2859
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NO INDOOR VOICE
 The Onion (Website) / int_f15c2859
comment
No Indoor Voice: "I Enjoy Yelling Things". "BREAKING: Incomprehensible Shouting Named Official U.S. Language".
 The Onion (Website) / int_f15c2859
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 The Onion (Website) / int_f1a1a9a4
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Seasonal Rot
 The Onion (Website) / int_f1a1a9a4
comment
Seasonal Rot: In-universe. "5-Year-Old Says 'Sesame Street' Has Sucked Since 2010." "'Game Of Thrones' Showrunners Disappointed With How Quality Of Fans Has Dropped Off Over Past Couple Seasons."
 The Onion (Website) / int_f1a1a9a4
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 The Onion (Website) / int_f1ac9897
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Female Misogynist
 The Onion (Website) / int_f1ac9897
comment
Female Misogynist: "Woman In Burqa Condemns Woman In Chador" has Uliya Salah, who despises Raheela Asaad for not conforming to the Taliban's sexist rules as much as she does.
 The Onion (Website) / int_f1ac9897
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 The Onion (Website) / int_f237981e
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The Alleged Car
 The Onion (Website) / int_f237981e
comment
The Alleged Car: Jim Anchower's perpetually abused Ford Festiva.
 The Onion (Website) / int_f237981e
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The Onion (Website) / int_f237981e
 The Onion (Website) / int_f23ad6de
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Food Porn
 The Onion (Website) / int_f23ad6de
comment
Food Porn: "Report: Oh, Fuck Yeah, Egg Yolk Dripping All Over Sandwich". Treated as literal porn in "Masturbating Mom Can't Get Bobby Flay Southwestern Eggs Demo To Stop Buffering".
 The Onion (Website) / int_f23ad6de
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 The Onion (Website) / int_f3909f81
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True Meaning of Christmas
 The Onion (Website) / int_f3909f81
comment
True Meaning of Christmas: Parodied in "Has Halloween Become Too Commercialized?", where the debaters discuss how people are forgetting the true meaning of Halloween: warding off evil spirits.
 The Onion (Website) / int_f3909f81
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 The Onion (Website) / int_f3caa2be
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Distanced from Current Events
 The Onion (Website) / int_f3caa2be
comment
Distanced from Current Events: In-Universe, "'Beltway Sniper' Video-Game Release Delayed Out Of Respect For Victims". In a Real Life version, "Columbine Jocks Safely Resume Bullying" wasn't printed in the Denver edition. invoked"Report: Still Hasn't Been Long Enough To Open Restaurant Called Bin Laden's".
 The Onion (Website) / int_f3caa2be
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 The Onion (Website) / int_f4d00fb0
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Deadline News
 The Onion (Website) / int_f4d00fb0
comment
Deadline News: Implied in "'No, No, Dear God No,' Mumbles Powerball Presenter After Drawing Pitch-Black Ball".
 The Onion (Website) / int_f4d00fb0
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 The Onion (Website) / int_f511ea9b
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Product Placement
 The Onion (Website) / int_f511ea9b
comment
Product Placement: "Should More Americans Get In On The EZ-Go Juicer Craze?" "Peter Jackson's 'The Hobbit' Stays Faithful To Original Book, Denny's Menu". "NASCAR To Abandon Racing Portion Of Business, Concentrate On Ads".
 The Onion (Website) / int_f511ea9b
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 The Onion (Website) / int_f6214be1
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Hollywood Psych
 The Onion (Website) / int_f6214be1
comment
Hollywood Psych: "Autistic Reporter: Train Thankfully Unharmed In Crash That Killed One Man". And "Autistic Reporter, Michael Falk, Enchanted By Prison's Rigid Routine".
 The Onion (Website) / int_f6214be1
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The Onion (Website) / int_f6214be1
 The Onion (Website) / int_f740a274
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Historical Beauty Update
 The Onion (Website) / int_f740a274
comment
Historical Beauty Update: "I Would Have Been Considered Very Attractive In The Middle Ages".
 The Onion (Website) / int_f740a274
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The Onion (Website) / int_f740a274
 The Onion (Website) / int_f7567671
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Game Within a Game
 The Onion (Website) / int_f7567671
comment
Game Within a Game: "Warcraft Sequel Lets You Play a Character Playing Warcraft".
 The Onion (Website) / int_f7567671
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 The Onion (Website) / int_f7611ec2
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Opinion Myopia
 The Onion (Website) / int_f7611ec2
comment
Opinion Myopia: In-universe. Stan Kelly, the fictional creator of The Onion's parodic political cartoons, refuses to accept that people might differ from him in aeshetics or opinion on even the most trivial subject without being moral degenerates. One cartoon, for instance, is dedicated entirely to lambasting modern sickos for their anti-American and freedom-hating habit of... eating wraps instead of sandwiches.
 The Onion (Website) / int_f7611ec2
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 The Onion (Website) / int_f7d724e6
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Santa's Existence Clause
 The Onion (Website) / int_f7d724e6
comment
Santa's Existence Clause: "Sitcom Characters Still In Shock After Christmas Episode Proves Existence Of Santa Claus", which features Frankie and Mike Heck from The Middle suffering a severe existential crisis in the aftermath of an end-of-episode tease that Santa is Real After All.
 The Onion (Website) / int_f7d724e6
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 The Onion (Website) / int_f93d8d52
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Girlfriend in Canada
 The Onion (Website) / int_f93d8d52
comment
Girlfriend in Canada: The entirety of "Canadian Girlfriend Unsubstantiated"
 The Onion (Website) / int_f93d8d52
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 The Onion (Website) / int_f96f188c
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Drives Like Crazy
 The Onion (Website) / int_f96f188c
comment
Drives Like Crazy: "General Motors Introduces New Instant-Win Airbags".
 The Onion (Website) / int_f96f188c
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 The Onion (Website) / int_f9f2c33
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Running Gag
 The Onion (Website) / int_f9f2c33
comment
Running Gag: When the print versions need to fill a small space, they put in a small article with nothing but the repeated phrase "Passersby were amazed by the unusually-large amounts of blood." (which also appears in context during "Blood... Blood Everywhere"). In Ad Nauseam, these instances are accompanied by completely off-the-wall "quotes" like "I'm thinking about getting into self-mutilation" or "Congress must be so stoned to come up with all those cool laws." Recurring article types include "[Corporation] scientists discover [related discovery]", among others. In the sports section, any article about Tim Duncan will make fun of how bland he is. Clifford Banes has never actually appeared in his self-titled panel-discussion series In the Know with Clifford Banes; there's always a sit-in newscaster who gives an absurd reason for Banes' absence. The only time he did show up, he wore a perfect latex Julianna McKennis mask. In the Stan Kelly Political Cartoons: The Statue of Liberty crying. Kelly being an avid fan of Star Trek: The Original Series, the kind who hates J. J. Abrams with a passion. invoked Kelly's massive case of professional envy towards the late Charles Schulz, the creator of Peanuts, consistently describing him as an "overrated, talentless hack" and always depicting him as burning in Fire and Brimstone Hell. According to Our Dumb World, every single African country has at least one resident named Mtumbe Ngoube. All the George W. Bush injury articles (see Butt-Monkey and Take That!) end with "Bush is resting comfortably at Bethesda Naval Hospital." "This Week In History" always includes Professor Timothy Hendry sidetracking into a long rant. After he apparently killed colleague Eric Kaufman, he started in on some daddy issues instead. After that, he started arguing about payment with the hosts. Dr. Eli Wasserbaum is a recurring "expert" quoted in many articles. Taylor Swift's dating life, which thus far has included Garfield creator Jim Davis, Senator Joseph McCarthy, Suri Cruise, James Holmes, the winner of a "Win a Date with Taylor Swift" contest (which she wrote a scathing hit breakup song about), Christopher Dorner (who she got back together with after he was killed), the Watertown boat Dzokhar Tsarnaev was found in, an Alternate Universe bodybuilder George Harrison, and the Mars Curiosity rover. A photo of Alan Alda keeps showing up in slideshows. Some politicians are portrayed as leading lives completely different than what they actually do, i.e. Joe Biden (until 2020) was a party-hearty Cool Old Guy, while John Kerry tends to be right in the middle of an action movie. In a very dark running gag, the site has run different articles all titled "'No Way To Prevent This,' Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens" whenever a mass shooting happens in the United States, with most of the text being copied and pasted from the previous article, just swapping out the details of the tragedy. To date, they've done more than ten of these with The Other Wiki compiling a list of each time the article was published.
 The Onion (Website) / int_f9f2c33
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 The Onion (Website) / int_fb3c0a6
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Firing in the Air a Lot
 The Onion (Website) / int_fb3c0a6
comment
Firing in the Air a Lot: "Iraq, Kentucky Vie For World Shooting-Into-The-Air Supremacy".
 The Onion (Website) / int_fb3c0a6
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 The Onion (Website) / int_fbb54ba6
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Forever War
 The Onion (Website) / int_fbb54ba6
comment
Forever War: "New Evidence Suggests Middle East Conflict Predates All Human Civilization".
 The Onion (Website) / int_fbb54ba6
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 The Onion (Website) / int_fbd285b7
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Comically Missing the Point
 The Onion (Website) / int_fbd285b7
comment
Comically Missing the Point: Uses this humor a LOT, especially their Today Now! and In The Know segments. One example is "Autistic Reporter, Michael Falk, Enchanted By Prison's Rigid Routine," especially when Falk gets distracted by the time the prisoner, Brian Wasserman, talked about how he had to stack crates, and mostly stops listening to Falk.
 The Onion (Website) / int_fbd285b7
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 The Onion (Website) / int_fc9b6be5
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Foe Romance Subtext
 The Onion (Website) / int_fc9b6be5
comment
Foe Romance Subtext: "Sexual Tension Between Arafat, Sharon Reaches Breaking Point". "Massachusetts Supreme Court Orders All Citizens To Gay Marry".
 The Onion (Website) / int_fc9b6be5
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 The Onion (Website) / int_fcf6bca9
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Robosexual
 The Onion (Website) / int_fcf6bca9
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Robosexual: "Ford Assembly Line Foreman Thinking About Asking Out Cute Welding Robot From Work".
 The Onion (Website) / int_fcf6bca9
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 The Onion (Website) / int_fd41610f
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China Takes Over the World
 The Onion (Website) / int_fd41610f
comment
In July 2009, T. Herman Zweibel sold the Onion to a Chinese salvage fishery, and the publication was quickly filled with pro-China propaganda and ads for fish byproducts. However, after a few days, the Chinese realized the collapse of the newspaper industry made their purchase worthless and gave the Onion back to its original management. This did not affect the AV Club, although they did let worried readers know that the company was indeed not sold to the Chinese.
 The Onion (Website) / int_fd41610f
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 The Onion (Website) / int_ff6ae1f6
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Evil-Detecting Dog
 The Onion (Website) / int_ff6ae1f6
comment
Evil-Detecting Dog: "Family Dog Barking At Evil".
 The Onion (Website) / int_ff6ae1f6
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 The Onion (Website) / int_ff934825
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Evil, Inc.
 The Onion (Website) / int_ff934825
comment
Evil, Inc.: "Feds Bust Massive Child Pornography Corporation".
 The Onion (Website) / int_ff934825
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 The Onion (Website) / int_ffad4e9f
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Shown Their Work
 The Onion (Website) / int_ffad4e9f
comment
Shown Their Work: This commentary from a man who won't miss The Joker's Wild for anything must've been written by a game show fan. It name checks all three hosts — Jack Barry, Bill Cullen, and even the substitute host, Jim Peck! And he says he'd miss a lot of other shows, including Bullseye (U.S.) (also a Barry-Enright show) and even The Magnificent Marble Machine (though even seeing it might be tough — all the tapes were erased by NBC). They even reference the kids' version of the show, Joker! Joker! Joker!. "I Appreciate the Muppets on a Much Deeper Level Than You". It parodies Fan Dumbinvoked, but the writer clearly knows a lot about The Muppets.
 The Onion (Website) / int_ffad4e9f
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The Onion (Website)

The following is a list of statements referring to the current page from other pages.

 The Onion Movie
seeAlso
The Onion (Website)
 The Onion (Magazine)
seeAlso
The Onion (Website)
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Rule of Cool / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
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A Degree in Useless / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
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A Hell of a Time / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
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A Wild Rapper Appears! / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
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A Wizard Did It / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
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Absent-Minded Professor / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
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Abstract Scale / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
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Activist-Fundamentalist Antics / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
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Adaptation Decay / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
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Admiring the Abomination / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
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Adventurer Archaeologist / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
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Age-Inappropriate Art / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
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All Anime Is Naughty Tentacles / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
All Germans Are Nazis / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
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All Issues Are Political Issues / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
All Just a Dream / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
All of the Other Reindeer / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
All Part of the Show / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Almighty Janitor / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Alphabet News Network / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Aluminum Christmas Trees / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
American Media / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Amusing Injuries / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
…And That Little Girl Was Me / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Angry White Man / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Animated Adaptation / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Anti-Advice / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Anyone Remember Pogs? / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Apathetic Student / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Apologises a Lot / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Appeal to Obscurity / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Appeal to Tradition / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Archive Panic / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Aren't You Going to Ravish Me? / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Argentina Is Nazi-Land / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Armoured Closet Gay / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Asian and Nerdy / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
At Least I Admit It / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Authentication by Newspaper / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Auto Erotica / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Awesome McCoolname / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Babies Make Everything Better / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Bad Future / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Bankruptcy Barrel / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Bathos / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Bears Are Bad News / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Becoming the Mask / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Beneath the Mask / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Best Served Cold / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Best Years of Your Life / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Bias Steamroller / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Big Red Button / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Bigger Than Jesus / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Black and Nerdy / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Black Comedy Pet Death / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Black Comedy Rape / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Blood-Splattered Innocents / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Blow That Horn / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Bodily Fluid Blacklight Reveal / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Bodyguarding a Badass / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Boom, Headshot! / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Born in an Elevator / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Boy Band / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Boyfriend-Blocking Dad / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Brick Joke / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Broke the Rating Scale / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Burger Fool / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Buses Are for Freaks / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
…But He Sounds Handsome / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Camping a Crapper / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Can Only Move the Eyes / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Captain Obvious Aesop / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Captain Space, Defender of Earth! / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Caption Humor / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Captured Super-Entity / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Card-Carrying Jerkass / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Cardboard Box of Unemployment / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Carrying a Cake / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Cast Full of Gay / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Celebrity Casualty / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Cereal Vice Reward / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Chained to a Railway / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Charity Motivation Song / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Charlie and the Chocolate Parody / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Cheese-Eating Surrender Monkeys / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
China Takes Over the World / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Chinese Launderer / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Christian Rock / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Circles of Hell / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Clickbait Gag / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Clueless Aesop / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Comedy / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Comically Inept Healing / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Commedia dell'Arte / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Complaining About Complaining / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Conspiracy Kitchen Sink / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Conveniently Interrupted Document / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Cool Toy / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Corrupt Corporate Executive / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Couldn't Find a Lighter / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Cover Version / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Covered in Gunge / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Cow Tools / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Crate Expectations / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Crawl / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Crazy Enough to Work / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Create Your Own Villain / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Criminal Mind Games / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Cruel Mercy / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Cult / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Cultural Cringe / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Cut-and-Paste Suburb / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Cut Himself Shaving / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Cutting the Electronic Leash / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
DVD Commentary / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Dancing Is Serious Business / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Deadline News / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
"Dear John" Letter / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Death Seeker / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Deep Cover Agent / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Deep-Immersion Gaming / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Deface of the Moon / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Dem Bones / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Depraved Homosexual / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Desires Prison Life / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Did You Die? / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Dinner Order Flub / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Disco Dan / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Disney Creatures of the Farce / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Disneyland Dad / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Disposable Intern / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Distanced from Current Events / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Divided States of America / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Dog Got Sent to a Farm / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Dogged Nice Guy / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Domestic Abuse / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Don't Go in the Woods / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Double-Blind What-If / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Dude, Not Funny! / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Eagleland / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Eats Babies / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Egg Sitting / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
El Spanish "-o" / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Europeans Are Kinky / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Even the Dog Is Ashamed / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Everybody Has Lots of Sex / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Everyone Is Satan in Hell / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Everyone Looks Sexier if French / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Evil-Detecting Dog / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Evil Is One Big, Happy Family / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Evil Old Folks / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Evil Power Vacuum / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Evolving Trope / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Executive Excess / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Expository Theme Tune / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Eye Scream / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Face Death with Despair / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Facial Profiling / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Fag Hag / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Famous for Being First / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Fan Hater / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Fantasy Sequence / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
"Far Side" Island / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Faux Yay / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Fauxreigner / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Feathered Serpent / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Feng Schwing / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Ferris Wheel of Doom / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Fetish Retardant / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Fiction Isn't Fair / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Filibuster Freefall / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Film at 11 / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Firemen Are Hot / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Firing in the Air a Lot / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
First-Contact Math / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
First Rule of the Yard / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
First World Problems / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Five-Token Band / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Forbidden Fruit / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Forced Meme / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Forever War / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Forgotten Trope / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Fratbro / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Frozen Dinner of Loneliness / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Fruit Cart / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Funny Animal / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Garage Band / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Gay Best Friend / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Gay Conservative / int_b7548b3d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Genius Cripple / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Genre Blindness / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Genre Shift / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Gentile Jew-Chaser / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Gentleman Thief / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
George Jetson Job Security / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Ghetto Name / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Giant Enemy Crab / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Girlboss Feminist / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Girlfriend in Canada / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Global Ignorance / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Global Warming / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Glorious Leader / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
God Is Flawed / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Golden Mean Fallacy / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Gone Horribly Wrong / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Good Cop/Bad Cop / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Grammar Correction Gag / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Grammar Nazi / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Grapes of Luxury / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Gravity Is Only a Theory / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Greedy Jew / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Green Is Gross / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Gruesome Goat / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Guest Host / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Halloween Episode / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Hand-or-Object Underwear / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Hand Wave / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today? / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Have I Mentioned I Am Sexually Active Today? / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
He Who Fights Monsters / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Hearing Voices / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Heävy Mëtal Ümlaut / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Here There Be Dragons / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Heroic BSoD / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Hey, Let's Put on a Show / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
High-Altitude Interrogation / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Hilariously Abusive Childhood / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Hipster / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Hobos / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Hollywood Heart Attack / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Hookers and Blow / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Horny Devils / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Horrible Hollywood / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Horrorscope / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Hulk Speak / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Humanoid Abomination / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Hunting the Most Dangerous Game / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Hurricane of Puns / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Hypocritical Humor / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
I Am Not Pretty / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
I Can Explain / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
I Coulda Been a Contender! / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
I Don't Like the Sound of That Place / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
I Don't Want to Ruin Our Friendship / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
I Just Shot Marvin in the Face / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
I Just Want to Be Normal / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
I Know You're Watching Me / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
I Made Copies / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
If It Bleeds, It Leads / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
If You Can Read This / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
If You're So Evil, Eat This Kitten! / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Ignored Epiphany / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Ignored Expert / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
In Memoriam / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Indian Burial Ground / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Infomercial / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Insane Proprietor / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Insignificant Little Blue Planet / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Inspirationally Disadvantaged / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Insurmountable Waist-Height Fence / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Intercourse with You / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Isn't It Ironic? / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
It Is Beyond Saving / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
It Kind of Looks Like a Face / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
It's Popular, Now It Sucks! / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
It's the Best Whatever, Ever! / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Japandering / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Jerkass Has a Point / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Jesus Was Crazy / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Jewish Mother / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Joggers Find Death / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Joisey / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Juggling Loaded Guns / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Jurisdiction Friction / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Just Friends / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
"Just Joking" Justification / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Just Like Robin Hood / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Just the Introduction to the Opposites / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Kent Brockman News / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Kill the God / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Kill the Poor / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Killed Off for Real / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
K-I-S-S-I-N-G in a Tree / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
"L" Is for "Dyslexia" / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Last of His Kind / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Layman's Terms / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Libation for the Dead / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Lies, Damned Lies, and Statistics / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Life Imitates Art / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Lifetime Movie of the Week / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Lockdown / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Locked in a Freezer / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Lost Wedding Ring / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Lottery of Doom / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Louis Cypher / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Love Martyr / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Magic Feather / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Magic Realism / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Manipulative Editing / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Marrying the Mark / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Mayan Doomsday / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Meat-O-Vision / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Men Act, Women Are / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Menagerie of Misery / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Military Mashup Machine / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Missing White Woman Syndrome / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Mistaken for Servant / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Mistaken for Transformed / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Moon-Landing Hoax / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Moral Guardians / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Murder Simulators / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Murphy's Bed / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Must Have Nicotine / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Mutants / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
My Friends... and Zoidberg / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
My Hovercraft Is Full of Eels / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Nazi Grandpa / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Needle in a Stack of Needles / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
News Parody / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Nightmare Fuel Coloring Book / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
90% of Your Brain / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Nipple and Dimed / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
No Heterosexual Sex Allowed / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
No Object Permanence / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
No Party Like a Donner Party / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
No Product Safety Standards / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Nostalgia Filter / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Not a Morning Person / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Not My Driver / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Not So Crazy Anymore / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Nothing but Skulls / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Nothing Is Scarier / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Obnoxious Entitled Housewife / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Off on a Technicality / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Off with His Head! / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
On One Condition / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Once Done, Never Forgotten / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
One Last Job / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
One of the Boys / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
One Scene, Two Monologues / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
One-Tract Mind / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Opinion Myopia / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Organ Theft / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Orphaned Punchline / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Our Slogan Is Terrible / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Overdrawn at the Blood Bank / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Overly Literal Transcription / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Overly Narrow Superlative / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Panty Thief / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
People's Republic of Tyranny / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Perfectly Cromulent Word / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Periphery Demographic / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Perspective Flip / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Photoshop Filter of Evil / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Pie in the Face / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Pirate Parrot / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Pit Trap / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Pizza Boy Special Delivery / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Place Worse Than Death / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Planes, Trains, and Imbeciles / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Please Wake Up / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Plot-Sensitive Button / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Pocket Protector / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Poe's Law / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Poking Dead Things with a Stick / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Powered Armor / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
President for Life / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Pretentious Latin Motto / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Pretty Fly for a White Guy / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Pride Parade / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Pseudolympics / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Psycho Serum / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Psychological Projection / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Quantum Mechanics Can Do Anything / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Quip to Black / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Race Fetish / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Racial Face Blindness / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Railing Kill / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Raised by Wolves / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Rape Portrayed as Redemption / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Real Dreams are Weirder / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Reality Show Genre Blindness / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Reckless Gun Usage / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Red Right Hand / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Redundant Parody / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Released to Elsewhere / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Remember the Alamo / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Rerouted from Heaven / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Resignations Not Accepted / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Retired Monster / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Retraux / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Retro Universe / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Richard Nixon, the Used Car Salesman / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Right on Queue / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Right Through the Wall / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Roofhopping / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Rule-Abiding Rebel / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Ruthless Modern Pirates / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Sadist Show / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Said Bookism / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Santa's Existence Clause / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Sarcasm Failure / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Satiating Sandwich / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Satire / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Saw "Star Wars" Twenty-Seven Times / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Scary Flashlight Face / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Sealed Room in the Middle of Nowhere / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Seemingly Profound Fool / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Seize Them! / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Serial-Killer Killer / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Sex for Services / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Sex Is Evil, and I Am Horny / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Sexy Sweater Girl / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Sexy Whatever Outfit / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Shaving Is Science / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Shock Party / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Shock Value Relationship / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Single-Issue Landlord / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Single Tear / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Situational Sexuality / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Skull Cups / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Slipping a Mickey / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Smoking Is Cool / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Smug Smiler / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Snacksploitation / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Snooty Haute Cuisine / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Soccer-Hating Americans / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Sommelier Speak / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Sophisticated as Hell / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Space Jews / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Speaking Like Totally Teen / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Spiders Are Scary / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Spin-Offspring / int_b7548b3d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Spiritual Antithesis / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Spurned into Suicide / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Stealth Cigarette Commercial / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Stealth Parody / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Stoners Are Funny / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Stop Being Stereotypical / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Strangely Specific Horoscope / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Straw Character / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Straw Feminist / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Streisand Effect / int_b7548b3d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Stuffy Old Songs About the Buttocks / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Succubi and Incubi / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Sudden Musical Ending / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Suicide Is Painless / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Swarm of Rats / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Take Our Word for It / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Taking the Heat / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Tall Poppy Syndrome / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Tan Lines / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Tank Goodness / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Teacher/Student Romance / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Tear Up the Contract / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Temporal Paradox / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Antichrist / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Coroner Doth Protest Too Much / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Generalissimo / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Generic Guy / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Password Is Always "Swordfish" / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Power of Cheese / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Power of Rock / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Stoner / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Worf Effect / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Worm Guy / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
The Worm That Walks / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Thinks Like a Romance Novel / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Thirty Seconds Over Tokyo / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
This Ain't Rocket Surgery / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Thou Shalt Not Kill / int_b7548b3d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Time Abyss / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Token Wholesome / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Too Dumb to Live / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Too Good for This Sinful Earth / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Too Hot for TV / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Too Incompetent to Operate a Blanket / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Traintop Battle / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Trans Equals Gay / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Translation by Volume / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Trapped the Wrong Target / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Trope Telegraphing / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Troubled Fetal Position / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
20% More Awesome / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Twin Switch / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Two of Your Earth Minutes / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Ultra Super Death Gore Fest Chainsawer 3000 / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Un-Entendre / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Underwear Flag / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Unexpected Successor / int_b7548b3d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Unexpectedly Dark Episode / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Unexpectedly Realistic Gameplay / int_b7548b3d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Unfortunate Implications / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Unintentional Period Piece / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
United Nations Is a Superpower / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Unproblematic Prostitution / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Unwinnable Joke Game / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Vice President Who? / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Viewers Are Morons / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Villain Has a Point / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Vox Pops / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Wacky Fratboy Hijinx / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Waking Up at the Morgue / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Wall of Text / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Wants a Prize for Basic Decency / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Water-Geyser Volley / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
We Care / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
We Will Use WikiWords in the Future / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Wealthy Yacht Owner / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Wedding Deadline / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Wet Blanket Wife / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
What Are Records? / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
What Do You Mean, It's Not Didactic? / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
What Do You Mean, It's Not Political? / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
What Is This Thing You Call "Love"? / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
When I Was Your Age... / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Who Shot JFK? / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Why Don't You Marry It? / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Wild Child / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Wishing for More Wishes / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Word Purée Title / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Workout Fanservice / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
World of Weirdness / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Worst Aid / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Worst News Judgment Ever / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Write What You Know / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Xtreme Kool Letterz / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Yes, Virginia / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
You Make Me Sic / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
You Should Have Died Instead / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
You Will Be Spared / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Zany Scheme / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Zeppelins from Another World / int_87b55b5d
 TheOnion
sameAs
The Onion (Website)
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Coca-Pepsi, Inc. / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Cool People Rebel Against Authority / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
I Can't Do This by Myself / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Parenting the Husband / int_87b55b5d
 The Onion (Website)
hasFeature
Straw Critic / int_87b55b5d
 theonion
sameAs
The Onion (Website)