...it's like TV Tropes, but LINKED DATA!
The Onion (Website)
- 2875 statements
- 568 feature instances
- 542 referencing feature instances
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The Onion (Website) | |
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TheOnion | |
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The Onion is a satirical newspaper devoted to all aspects of American life and culture, frequently parodying tropes mentioned on This Very Wiki. It started in 1988 as a print newspaper by a pair of students at the University of Wisconsin, and originally distributed in Madison and Milwaukee. It has since branched off into the Internet, including video clips supposedly originating from the Onion News Network. Its final print edition was published in December 2013, but the website has carried on.The Onion also has an entertainment/pop culture newspaper and website called the AV Club, which features pop culture news, reviews of almost every form of media (TV, albums, books, etc.) and interviews presented in a humorous but factual tone. The site's head writer was Nathan Rabin until 2013. The AV Club maintains a separate identity and has very little (if anything) in common with The Onion, mostly to avoid people mistakenly thinking that the AV Club presents fake news like The Onion.The Onion has in the past extended into a movie (critically derided, even by its own AV Club), and most recently two TV series — OSN Sportsdome on Comedy Central and Onion News Network on IFC. In 2013, a pilot for Onion News Empire, a behind-the-scenes look at the ONN newsroom, was made for Amazon.com. (It wasn't picked up.) There have also been three original Onion books — Our Dumb Century, a history of the 20th century told through fake Onion front pages; Our Dumb World, a Hollywood Atlas filled with stereotypes and Black Comedy; and The Onion Book of Known Knowledge, a mock encyclopedia of all existing knowledge.In Summer 2012, the Onion's YouTube arm debuted Onion Digital Studios, producing parodies of non-news programming ranging from nature documentaries to reality television. In Summer 2014, the Onion launched another sister site, ClickHole, a Clickbait Gag parodying sites such as Buzzfeed, Upworthy, The Huffington Post, and Cracked, and in 2015, they launched StarWipe, a parody of celebrity tabloids like TMZ. StarWipe was discontinued in July 2016. In 2018, the Onion released the podcast A Very Fatal Murder, which parodies True Crime podcasts such as Serial.It's like a Transatlantic Equivalent of Private Eye (except decades younger, without the investigative journalism, and as a website) and similar to the later NJUZ and Newsbiscuit (which was created on the model "a British Onion"). Similarly, Ministry Of Harmony describes itself as "The Onion for China". Two American-based sites are essentially twists on The Onion for different audiences — The Babylon Bee is essentially "The Onion for conservatives", while The Hard Times is "The Onion for punk rockers".There's also the satirical Venezuelan news blog El Chigüire Bipolar,note Spanish for "The Bipolar Capibara" which uses a similar, Onion-like format to lampoon the country's political situation, and Le Gorafinote the name is an inversion of Le Figaro, a rightwing newspaper, a French website created during the 2012 presidential campaign. And, last but not least, there's also the good old Uncyclopedia, which is to Wikipedia what The Onion is to journalism. As of 2019 there also exists a Stellaris version called Xenonion News created by fans of the game, similar to The Onion but set in a loosely connected Stellaris universe.The site can be found here. | |
| The Onion (Website) | fetched |
2024-03-09T10:47:44Z | |
| The Onion (Website) | parsed |
2024-03-09T10:47:44Z | |
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Dropped link to AClockworkOrange: Not a Feature - ITEM | |
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Mockbuster | |
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TheDeepSouth | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_10021cbc | type |
Frozen Dinner of Loneliness | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_10021cbc | comment |
Frozen Dinner of Loneliness: "Stouffers To Include Suicide Prevention Tips On Single Serve Microwavable Meals". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_10d8aa14 | type |
Fan Dumb | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_10d8aa14 | comment |
Fan Dumb: In-Universe. "Jon Hamm To Overenthusiastic Fan: 'You're Ruining Me For Everyone'". "Why Don't They Make A Second 'Godfather' Movie?". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_1235f055 | type |
Dirty Coward | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_1235f055 | comment |
Dirty Coward: "Entire U.S. Police Force Flees Country After Hearing Gunman Inside Nation". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_1282bf4f | type |
No Celebrities Were Harmed | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_1282bf4f | comment |
No Celebrities Were Harmed: "Nation Once Again Comes Under Sway Of Pink-Faced Half-Wit". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_12b1f5f3 | type |
No Such Thing as Bad Publicity | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_12b1f5f3 | comment |
No Such Thing as Bad Publicity: In-universe with "Bloomberg Campaign Raises Visibility By Pumping $5 Million Into #BloombergIsRacist Hashtag". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_1328fd9d | type |
Parenting the Husband | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_1328fd9d | comment |
Parenting the Husband: "Area Girlfriend, Boyfriend Achieve Perfect Mother-Son Relationship". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_133f1c12 | type |
The Spymaster | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_133f1c12 | comment |
Semi-regular columnist Dept. Head Rawlings makes frequent reference to "the Barcelona debacle" in his articles. | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_13646b1b | type |
My Friends... and Zoidberg | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_13646b1b | comment |
My Friends... and Zoidberg: "Barbara Bush Passes Away Surrounded By Loved Ones, Jeb" | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_1396b32c | type |
The Worm Guy | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_1396b32c | comment |
The Worm Guy: "Expert Wasted Entire Life Studying Anteaters". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_1396b32c | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_143939c1 | type |
Trailers Always Spoil | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_143939c1 | comment |
Trailers Always Spoil: "Man Hates It When Trailer Gives Away Entire Premise Of Movie". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_143939c1 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_14beeefd | type |
Darker and Edgier | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_14beeefd | comment |
Darker and Edgier: "Taylor Swift Unveils Even Darker Persona With New Single 'Skullfucking Maggot Shit Boyfriend'". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_14beeefd | featureApplicability |
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| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_14beeefd | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_14ed6ab7 | type |
Does This Remind You of Anything? | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_14ed6ab7 | comment |
Does This Remind You of Anything?: Constantly; one is "Bush Refuses To Set Timetable For Withdrawal Of Head From White House Banister". "Gorilla Sales Skyrocket After Latest Gorilla Attack". "Hillary Clinton Quietly Asks Bill If He Still Finds Her Electable" is full of this too. "Creditors Repossess New England From Debt-Ridden U.S." "Alex DeLarge Forced To Step Down As Leader Of Droogs Amidst Allegations Of Sexual Misconduct". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_14ed6ab7 | featureApplicability |
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The Onion (Website) / int_14ed6ab7 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_15184afb | type |
This Loser Is You | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_15184afb | comment |
This Loser Is You: "Study: Women Always Answer Their Phones Unless They're Having Great Sex With Someone Else". "World's Lone Non-Telepathic Individual Still Completely Unaware". It just gets worse from the title; the illustration is just text reading, "The image of the non-telepath has already been psychically transmitted to all of humanity and thus does not need to reproduced here." "BREAKING: Authorities Currently Racing Down Highway To Arrest You For Crime You Didn't Commit– Run!" "Totally Unknown Guy Strolling Around Your Part Of Office For Some Reason". "Scientists Confirm First Case Of Zika Transmission From Article To Reader". "Breaking: The Onion Has Detected A Virus On Your Computer". | |
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| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_15184afb | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_1561fbc4 | type |
Mystery Magnet | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_1561fbc4 | comment |
Mystery Magnet: "Two Dozen More Bodies Found In Lake Wobegon". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_1561fbc4 | featureApplicability |
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| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_1561fbc4 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_16417501 | type |
Perverse Sexual Lust | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_16417501 | comment |
Perverse Sexual Lust: "FCC Okays Nudity On TV If It's Alyson Hannigan" | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_16417501 | featureApplicability |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_16417501 | featureConfidence |
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| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_16417501 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_16df2fe7 | type |
Meat-O-Vision | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_16df2fe7 | comment |
Meat-O-Vision: "Life-Raft Companion Looks Just Like Juicy Steak". "C.C. Sabathia, Prince Fielder Keep Imagining Each Other As Giant Talking Hot Dog, Hamburger". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_16df2fe7 | featureApplicability |
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| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_16df2fe7 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_17501df2 | type |
Cool Old Guy | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_17501df2 | comment |
Some politicians are portrayed as leading lives completely different than what they actually do, i.e. Joe Biden (until 2020) was a party-hearty Cool Old Guy, while John Kerry tends to be right in the middle of an action movie. | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_17501df2 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_1779f10e | type |
"Well Done, Son" Guy | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_1779f10e | comment |
"Well Done, Son" Guy: "Romney Spends Day Tearfully Apologizing At Father's Grave". "NASCAR Driver [Aric Almirola]'s Parents Pay For Congratulatory Message On Side Of Son's Car". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_1779f10e | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_1785a1ad | type |
Ferris Wheel of Doom | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_1785a1ad | comment |
Ferris Wheel of Doom: "Report: 40,000 People Died On Ferris Wheels This Summer". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_1785a1ad | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_188802c0 | type |
Spurned into Suicide | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_188802c0 | comment |
Spurned into Suicide: "David Cameron To Scottish People: 'I'll Kill Myself If You Leave'" | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_188802c0 | featureApplicability |
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The Onion (Website) / int_188802c0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_18a84025 | type |
Only Six Faces | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_18a84025 | comment |
Only Six Faces: The American Voices feature has been showing the same six or so photos for over a decade, with different names and occupations each time (though one of them is often a systems analyst). Ambiguously used in the similar sports feature Fan on the Street, which always shows the same three photos with no names or occupations given. Lampshaded by The Onion itself here. | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_18a84025 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_191a164 | type |
"No Talking or Phones" Warning | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_191a164 | comment |
"No Talking or Phones" Warning: "Vehement Anti-Cell-Phone Guy Finally Caves". | |
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| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_191a164 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_19661850 | type |
Just the Introduction to the Opposites | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_19661850 | comment |
Just the Introduction to the Opposites: "Gay Teen Worried He Might Be Christian". "Local Teen Walks In On Family Masturbating". "Asian Teen Has Sweaty Middle-Aged-Man Fetish". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_1b590025 | type |
Dead All Along | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_1b590025 | comment |
Dead All Along: "Alarming MRI Shows Peyton Manning Has Been Dead For Past 6 Months". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_1b590025 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_1b65dfad | type |
The Cameo | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_1b65dfad | comment |
The Cameo: Ben Stiller, Rachel Maddow, and Mike Huckabee were all on the TV show. The last two were on the same episode. | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_1b65dfad | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_1b73fd6c | type |
The Danza | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_1b73fd6c | comment |
The Danza: In-Universe, Tracy Toth, aka Today Now's Tracy Gill. | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_1b73fd6c | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_1ba17583 | type |
The Ghost | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_1ba17583 | comment |
Clifford Banes has never actually appeared in his self-titled panel-discussion series In the Know with Clifford Banes; there's always a sit-in newscaster who gives an absurd reason for Banes' absence. The only time he did show up, he wore a perfect latex Julianna McKennis mask. | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_1ba17583 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_1ba8eb64 | type |
Visual Pun | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_1ba8eb64 | comment |
Visual Pun: "Guy Who Normally Holds Up Letter 'D' Sick This Week". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_1ba8eb64 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_1d18887f | type |
Pay Evil unto Evil | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_1d18887f | comment |
Pay Evil unto Evil: In "Ask The Minutes From A Heated Kiwanis Club Meeting", normally, assaulting a fellow Kiwanis Club official would be completely unacceptable, but not only is Treasurer Bill Jarvis an irresonsible, chronically absentee alcoholic, but he'd just responded to being called an "asshole" by bringing up how fellow member Roger Lambert's wife was Driven to Suicide three years ago. When Lambert starts punching Jarvis, the board holds a motion on whether to stop him, and it's defeated 16-2. | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_1d18887f | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_1d53cca0 | type |
Clickbait Gag | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_1d53cca0 | comment |
Clickbait Gag: The article "How Internet Clickbait Works" describes the process of creating sensationalist content in nine steps, starting with nine days where the brain prepares to have an immediate reaction to "Check this out!" and ending with money mysteriously being earned. | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_1d6ac70d | type |
Dagwood Sandwich | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_1d6ac70d | comment |
Dagwood Sandwich: "Report: American People Lead World In Compressing Big Sandwiches So They're Bitable". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_1d6ac70d | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_1d8733d3 | type |
Overly Narrow Superlative | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_1d8733d3 | comment |
Overly Narrow Superlative: According to "Best Sports Stadiums", "Michigan Stadium has been selected by The Saginaw News as the best 100,000-plus-seat venue in Washtenaw County for 13 consecutive years." | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_1d8733d3 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_1ef7232d | type |
Wild Child | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_1ef7232d | comment |
Wild Child: "Girl Raised From Birth By Wolf Blitzer Taken Into Protective Custody". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_1ef7232d | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_1f17e9fe | type |
High-Altitude Interrogation | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_1f17e9fe | comment |
High-Altitude Interrogation: It's reported in their web video "Nation's Hardass Cops Finally Find Time to Play Games" that "hardass cops can be fucked with for two more hours, at which point they will resume dangling lowlifes from rooftops until they get the answers they want." | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_1f17e9fe | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_1f8cdb5c | type |
Who Shot JFK? | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_1f8cdb5c | comment |
Who Shot JFK?: "Our Dumb Century" has a story about JFK being shot by practically every single individual or organization that conspiracy theories accuse of his assassination. | |
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Just Train Wrong | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_1fb947b6 | comment |
Just Train Wrong: "Murder Mystery On Train Not So Fun In Real Life". It's supposed to be on a train in Wisconsin, yet the page image choice is of a Bay Area Rapid Transit (BART) train in San Francisco. "Circus Train Wreck Not Funny, Investigators Emphasize". Though the train crashed in Altoona, Pennsylvania, the picture is of an Indian Railways passenger train, and the car out of which the giraffes are sticking their heads is an electric locomotive. | |
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Girls Have Cooties | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_2006056c | comment |
Girls Have Cooties: "10-Year-Old Denies Girl-Liking Allegations". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_20a14df0 | type |
Wrong Genre Savvy | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_20a14df0 | comment |
Wrong Genre Savvy: "Man Who Will Die In Great Eastern Seaboard Flood Of 2023 Preparing For Mayan Apocalypse". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_20d965e | type |
Gentleman Thief | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_20d965e | comment |
Gentleman Thief: "Bad Boy Fencing Star Implicated In Daring Jewel Heist". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_20e70d4e | type |
Popularity Polynomial | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_20e70d4e | comment |
Popularity Polynomial: In-universe, "Lava Lamps Revert From Passé Retro Kitsch Back To Novel Retro Camp". | |
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Famous for Being First | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_20ffc19a | comment |
Famous for Being First: The video "First Female Dictator Hailed As Step Forward For Women" is a fictional news report which parodies this trope for dark satire. The titular female dictator is Amivi Gama, a ruthless revolutionary who has made herself the President of East Timor. She leads a brutal Reign of Terror to crack down on all dissent, with everyone in the video (even her own victims) being impressed that a woman can prove to be just as much of a cruel tyrant as any man can be. This obviously satirizes the concept that achievements made by the "first" woman in any given field are necessarily positive, even if that field is inherently evil (like being a mass-murdering dictator, terrorist, or war criminal). | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_2112092c | type |
Lifetime Movie of the Week | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_2112092c | comment |
Lifetime Movie of the Week: "Oh, My God – The Baby!" | |
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Blonde Republican Sex Kitten | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_21535375 | comment |
Blonde Republican Sex Kitten: Joad Cressbeckler is a twist on this trope. He's a parody of an old, xenophobic, curmudgeony conservative, but he frequently ends up taking liberal stances on things like gay rights, immigration, and GMOs, but for his own bizarre reasons. | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_21d70919 | type |
Crapsack World | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_21d70919 | comment |
Crapsack World: The world as a whole. In The Know's world has ghouls, robot overlords, baby skulls as jewelry... Rule of Funny produces some hilariously-horrific things. Alluded to in the article "This What World Like Now", following the Boston Marathon blast in April 2013. The last line says it all: | |
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Knight in Sour Armor | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_21f7ff0f | comment |
Knight in Sour Armor: "Existentialist Firefighter Delays Three Deaths". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_22a27b19 | type |
Alpha Bitch | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_22a27b19 | comment |
Alpha Bitch: Fact Zone host Brooke Alvarez. She even exposed the entire sad life of a viewer just for correcting a history segment. In a cameo appearance, Rachel Maddow describes her as a "cheerleader cruel bitch type". | |
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If It Bleeds, It Leads | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_22d639e6 | comment |
If It Bleeds, It Leads: "Missing Girl Probably Raped". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_230d64 | type |
Screw the Rules, I Have Money! | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_230d64 | comment |
Screw the Rules, I Have Money!: "Wealthy Teen Nearly Experiences Consequence". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_230d64 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_233d181 | type |
Misaimed Fandom | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_233d181 | comment |
Misaimed Fandom: In-universe with "Man Wearing Cobra Command Shirt Missed The Whole Point Of 'G.I. Joe'". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_233d181 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_234bd900 | type |
For Science! | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_234bd900 | comment |
For Science!: In "Scientists Successfully Teach Gorilla It Will Die Someday", a team of primatologists successfully teaches a gorilla named Quigley that death is inevitable. Quigley experiences an existential crisis and becomes depressed; the scientists are quite proud of the result and hope that eventually they'll be able to teach a gorilla to resort to alcoholism or even commit suicide. | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_234bd900 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_23698fa8 | type |
Aborted Arc | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_23698fa8 | comment |
Aborted Arc: The mysterious congressman's presidential campaign initially seemed like just another funny article, but it was then followed up by him challenging the other candidates to a debate at dawn. Since then, nothing. | |
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Missing White Woman Syndrome | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_237f7eeb | comment |
Missing White Woman Syndrome: Inverted with "Ugly Girl Killed". "Missing Girl Probably Raped". "Thousands Of Girls Match Description Of Missing Sorority Sister". | |
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President for Life | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_24414d6a | comment |
President for Life: "Clinton Declares Self President For Life," complete with Commissar Cap and Chest of Medals. | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_24414d6a | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_246c9dc5 | type |
Unknown Rival | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_246c9dc5 | comment |
Unknown Rival: "Teen Unaware He Locked In Heated Ongoing Competition With Parents' Friends' Son" | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_246c9dc5 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_24a045cd | type |
Wants a Prize for Basic Decency | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_24a045cd | comment |
Wants a Prize for Basic Decency: "Chauvin Defense Team Praises Officer's Restraint In Not Killing Bystanders": "Local Priest Takes Great Pride In Never Having Molested Anyone". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_24a045cd | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_24ddbe2b | type |
Saw "Star Wars" Twenty-Seven Times | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_24ddbe2b | comment |
Saw "Star Wars" Twenty-Seven Times: "Clinton Takes Leave Of Office To Stand In Line For 'Star Wars: Episode I'" written during the Clinton administration mentions the President planning to see The Phantom Menace at least twenty times during its opening weekend, after which he will return to his office and follow a once-a-day viewing schedule. "Man Googles Matt Damon's Address Because, Well, He's Crazy And Wants To Murder Him". He's also recorded Ocean's Eleven on his DVR and has viewed the film "more than 200 times in the past month", and is in possession of 100 DVD copies of The Legend of Bagger Vance. | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_251bbe0e | type |
Genre Blindness | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_251bbe0e | comment |
Genre Blindness: "Experts Agree Giant, Razor-Clawed Bioengineered Crabs Pose No Threat". The woman in the commentary "I'm Sure That Out-Of-Control Water-Skier Will Avoid Our Outdoor Wedding". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_251bbe0e | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_2547b359 | type |
Real Dreams are Weirder | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_2547b359 | comment |
Real Dreams are Weirder: "Chef Cooks 'Dream Omelette' That Came To Him In A Dream". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_25524784 | type |
No-Holds-Barred Beatdown | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_25524784 | comment |
No-Holds-Barred Beatdown: "If I See Doug, I'm Going To Kick His Ass vs. Apparently Doug Is A Better Fighter Than I Thought". "Five Or Six Dudes Jump Out of Nowhere And Just Start Whaling on This One Guy". | |
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It Has Been an Honor | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_2612a967 | comment |
It Has Been an Honor: "'It's Been An Honor, Gentlemen,' Shift Supervisor Says As Giant Vat Of Molten Cheese Erupts". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_2612a967 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_26eb6287 | type |
Funny Background Event | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_26eb6287 | comment |
Funny Background Event: The news ticker at the bottom of Newsroom videos. Also, some screenshots of websites have headlines as funny as the news ticker's. "Obama Currently Being Chased In Background Of Secret Service Hearing". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_26eb6287 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_272abb98 | type |
Shoot the Shaggy Dog | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_272abb98 | comment |
Shoot the Shaggy Dog: "Heroic PETA Commandos Kill 49, Save Rabbit" becomes this when said rabbit gets caught and killed by a fox minutes after being released into the wild. | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_272abb98 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_2740531a | type |
She Cleans Up Nicely | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_2740531a | comment |
She Cleans Up Nicely: "Bearded Lady Cleans Up Real Nice". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_2740531a | featureApplicability |
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The Onion (Website) / int_2740531a | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_27d3df7e | type |
Glurge Addict | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_27d3df7e | comment |
Glurge Addict: Jean Teasdale's columns paint her life as an endless stream of cute "kitties", ice cream, Precious Moments figurines, and endearing squabbles with her man's-man "hubby" Rick. The reality of her situation — that she's a deluded 40+ sad-sack, and Rick is a neglectful, alcoholic, emotionally abusive prick — seems to escape her. | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_27fdd6a1 | type |
Divine Parentage | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_27fdd6a1 | comment |
Divine Parentage: "Michael Phelps Spots Estranged Father Poseidon In Stands." | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_280333d4 | type |
Hollywood Heart Attack | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_280333d4 | comment |
Hollywood Heart Attack: Discussed in "Doctors Say Average Heart Attack Victim Doesn't Clutch At Chest Nearly Dramatically Enough". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_280333d4 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_2835de61 | type |
Evil Power Vacuum | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_2835de61 | comment |
Evil Power Vacuum: "Second-Most Popular Kid In School Assumes Power Following Death Of Star Quarterback". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_2835de61 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_287865ea | type |
Help Yourself in the Future | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_287865ea | comment |
Help Yourself in the Future: "Time-Traveling Hillary Clinton Warns Self To Do Everything In Exact Same Way". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_28a5213a | type |
Small Name, Big Ego | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_28a5213a | comment |
Small Name, Big Ego: "Somebody's Got to Save This Country From Certain Doom, And Let's Face It, That Person Is Me". The parody editorial cartoonist Stan Kelly displays traits of this frequently. In the book collection, he even dedicates it to himself for having the guts to "tell it like it is". "Coworkers Dying To Tell Man He's Going To Be Fired" has the underperforming and lazy Mark Tendulkar excited about making one sale. | |
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A Party, Also Known as an Orgy | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_28b08686 | comment |
A Party, Also Known as an Orgy: "Obama Fed Grapes While Urging Press Conference To Enjoy Orgy". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_28b08686 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_2937826d | type |
Hurricane of Puns | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_2937826d | comment |
Hurricane of Puns: Roger Dudek's regular column is basically just a nonstop barrage of the most horrible puns imaginable. | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_2937826d | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_295087bf | type |
Non-Indicative Name | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_295087bf | comment |
Non-Indicative Name: In "Expert Wasted Entire Life Studying Anteaters", the interviewer asks what the anteater's Venezuelan name means, and the expert says, "catcher of ants." After an awkward pause, the inteviewer points out that he finds it interesting that anteaters don't eat ants. | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_295087bf | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_2af6bbeb | type |
Break the Haughty | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_2af6bbeb | comment |
Break the Haughty: "Ask the Dauphin". While the Dauphin is an arrogant Royal Brat with an incestuous crush on his sister for the responses to the first three letters, in the fourth, he's completely broken as a result of being thrown in jail, and he's shown pleading for news about his family and asking for a fire. | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_2af6bbeb | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_2afc6585 | type |
Girlboss Feminist | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_2afc6585 | comment |
Girlboss Feminist: "First Female Dictator Hailed As Step Forward For Women" is a fictional news report that parodies this trope for dark satire. The titular female dictator is Amivi Gama, a ruthless revolutionary who has made herself the President of East Timor. She leads a brutal Reign of Terror to crack down on all dissent, with everyone in the video (even her own victims) being impressed that a woman can prove to be just as much of a cruel tyrant as any man can be. This obviously satirizes the concept that achievements made by the "first" woman in any given field are necessarily positive, even if that field is inherently evil (like being a mass-murdering dictator, terrorist, or war criminal). | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_2b65aa76 | type |
Straw Critic | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_2b65aa76 | comment |
Straw Critic: Jackie Harvey is an inversion, as he loves damn near any movie put out. | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_2b65aa76 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_2b706ca | type |
More Dakka | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_2b706ca | comment |
More Dakka: "Everyone At Office Planning Shooting Spree For Same Day". "AR-15 Assault Rifle Beginning To Worry It May Never Get To Kill Innocent Person". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_2b706ca | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_2be271c7 | type |
Hollywood Hacking | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_2be271c7 | comment |
Hollywood Hacking: "Fast-Talking Computer Hacker Just Has To Break Through Encryption Shield Before Uploading Nano-Virus". | |
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Fantastic Drug | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_2cd22076 | comment |
Fantastic Drug: Gaseous Planets serve as this in "God Completely Fucked Up After Huffing Gaseous Planet". | |
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She Is All Grown Up | |
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She Is All Grown Up: "Teenage Girl Blossoming Into Beautiful Object". | |
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Strangely Specific Horoscope | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_2d30ecda | comment |
Strangely Specific Horoscope: Played for Laughs. Every issue has an insane horoscope with strangely specific and violent predictions. For a couple of concrete examples: Pisces: After years of work, you will be asked to submit your paper called "There Is Nothing Like A Good Plate Of Bacon And Eggs" to the philosophy department at the Sorbonne. Aries: Your plan to put on a spectacular song-and-dance show to raise desperately needed cash will somehow fail to save your foundering musical. Taurus: You will realize too late that an absolute monarch is still in thrall to the needs of his subjects when your hamsters start dying of starvation. | |
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Sophisticated as Hell | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_2d4a6d8c | comment |
Sophisticated as Hell: Smoove B: Pretty much all of Horrifying Planet, especially this one. The last quote in this article. "Epic Saga of Employee's Ineptitude Passed Down Through Generations Of Coworkers" | |
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Ax-Crazy | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_2d4fa515 | comment |
Ax-Crazy: A Jerk Jock shooting innocent students and having killed animals for fun and written a manifesto about him skinning a classmate and wearing it as a pelt. | |
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Wacky Fratboy Hijinx | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_2dba7575 | comment |
Wacky Fratboy Hijinx: "Online University Cracks Down on Rowdy Online Fraternity". | |
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Missing Child | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_2de495bb | comment |
Missing Child: "Every Parent's Worst Nightmare Is Losing A Child To Gorchul, The Dark Sorcerer Of Time". It's almost as if it's making fun of the endemic misuse this trope gets on this very wiki. | |
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Latin Lover | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_2e032e41 | comment |
Latin Lover: "Small Town Ravished By Alejandro". | |
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Eskimos Aren't Real | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_2e0c6c38 | comment |
Eskimos Aren't Real: "I Sometimes Wish Lawyers Existed Outside The Fantastical World Of My Novels". "Bizarre Sci-Fi Novel Posits World Where Natives Inhabited America Before Europeans". | |
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Giant Enemy Crab | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_3033b958 | comment |
Giant Enemy Crab: "Experts Agree Giant, Razor-Clawed Bioengineered Crabs Pose No Threat". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_30d2ae29 | type |
Self-Fulfilling Prophecy | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_30d2ae29 | comment |
Self-Fulfilling Prophecy: "Report: Things Finally As Bad As Trump Claims". | |
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Sleazy Politician | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_30ed4f7d | comment |
Sleazy Politician: "City Of Chicago To Modernize Outdated Graft Programs". "Illinois Supreme Court Deems Rahm Emanuel Sleazy Enough To Run For Mayor Of Chicago". | |
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Word Salad Philosophy | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_30fde463 | comment |
Word Salad Philosophy: "Raving Lunatic Obviously Took Some Advanced Physics". | |
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Even Evil Has Standards | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_319e4a2f | comment |
Even Evil Has Standards: "Jerry Sandusky Horrified By Behavior of Rutgers Basketball Coach". "Kim Jong-Un Comes Out In Support Of Gay Marriage": "Satan Refuses To Accept Any More Catholic Priests In Hell". The titular cartoonist of Kelly Comics has just about every detestable right-wing view you can think of, but even he is against people who publicly display the Confederate flag. He's also pro-choice, if only because he doesn't want to pay child support. | |
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Got Me Doing It | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_31ae6183 | comment |
Got Me Doing It: Referenced by name in the last paragraph of "Man Has Derogatory Nickname For Every Neighboring Town". | |
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Firemen Are Hot | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_31c3bb94 | comment |
Firemen Are Hot: "Incredibly Sexy Firefighter Tragically Dies In Steamy Blaze". | |
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Shipper on Deck | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_31da1e24 | comment |
Shipper on Deck: Subverted in "Guests Forced To Pretend Wedding A Good Thing", in which it's repeatedly made clear how unhealthy the couple's relationship is. That said, even the only source willing to say straight out that the marriage won't last remarks that they're a "cute couple." | |
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Magical Negro | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_32cb267a | comment |
Magical Negro: "Maya Angelou Honored For Courage, Blackness". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_32cb267a | featureApplicability |
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After the End | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_334e48a1 | comment |
After the End: "Person Who Will One Day Become Warlord-Ruler Of What Was Once Nebraska Born In Omaha Hospital" claims that the USA will be a post-apocalyptic wasteland by the time a newly-born baby reaches adulthood. This one also has wild Mood Whiplash. | |
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Stoners Are Funny | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_33f6c897 | comment |
Stoners Are Funny: Everybody Must Get Stoned, from scientists to pizzeria workers, and this is invariably depicted for humour. "World's Top Scientists Ponder: What If The Whole Universe Is, Like, One Huge Atom?" "Everyone Involved In Pizza's Preparation, Delivery, Purchase Extremely High". | |
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Girl on Girl Is Hot | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_340575a7 | comment |
Girl on Girl Is Hot: Parodied with "Lesbian Couple Enjoys Hot Lesbian Action"; the image with this caption shows two middle-aged butch lesbians sitting on a couch. | |
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Discriminate and Switch | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_342f0ffa | comment |
Discriminate and Switch: "I Won't Have My Daughter Bringing A Black Man Into This House Until I've Tidied Up And Created A Welcoming Environment". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_342f0ffa | |
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RubeGoldbergMachine | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_34735a64 | comment |
Rube Goldberg Machine: "Hot Wheels Ranked Number One Toy For Rolling Down Ramp, Knocking Over Dominoes That Send Marble Down A Funnel, Dropping Onto Teeter-Totter That Yanks On String, Causing Pulley System To Raise Wooden Block, Propelling Series Of Twine Rollers That Unwind Spring, Launching Tennis Ball Across Room, Inching Tire Down Slope Until It Hits Power Switch, Activating Table Fan That Blows Toy Ship With Nail Attached To It Across Kiddie Pool, Popping Water Balloon That Fills Cup, Weighing Down Lever That Forces Basketball Down Track, Nudging Broomstick On Axis To Rotate, Allowing Golf Ball To Roll Into Sideways Coffee Mug, Which Tumbles Down Row Of Hardcover Books Until Handle Catches Hook Attached To Lever That Causes Wooden Mallet To Slam Down On Serving Spoon, Catapulting Small Ball Into Cup Attached By Ribbon To Lazy Susan, Which Spins Until It Pushes D Battery Down Incline Plane, Tipping Over Salt Shaker To Season Omelet" | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_34735a64 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_348eda5f | type |
Public Medium Ignorance | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_348eda5f | comment |
Public Medium Ignorance: "NASCAR Coach Reveals Winning Strategy: Drive Fast". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_348eda5f | featureApplicability |
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1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_348eda5f | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_34dcfc96 | type |
Kick the Dog | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_34dcfc96 | comment |
Kick the Dog: In "Coworkers Dying To Tell Man He's Going To Be Fired", not only is Mark Tendulkar, the man in question, a slacker who thinks he's hot stuff despite his incompetence, but he also badmouths the one coworker who defends him, albeit not knowing that said person is doing so. | |
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1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_34dcfc96 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_3517000d | type |
Mad Scientist | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_3517000d | comment |
Mad Scientist: "Corpse-Reanimation Technology Still 10 Years Off, Say MIT Mad Scientists". "Mad Scientist's Plot Thwarted by Budget Cuts". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_3517000d | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_352151a3 | type |
Recursive Reality | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_352151a3 | comment |
Recursive Reality: "Physicists Discover Our Universe Is Fictional Setting Of Cop Show Called 'Hard Case". | |
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1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_352151a3 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_35a858b3 | type |
Cluster F-Bomb | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_35a858b3 | comment |
Cluster F-Bomb: "Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades", a profanity-laced faux editorial in which Gillette's then-CEO "announced" that the company would introduce a five-blade razor. The I Fucked My Way Into This Mess, And I'll Fuck My Way Out article with both the title and content consists of 587 words, and of those words, 81 of them include an instance of "fuck", with a few (really, there's way less of those than fuck) other obscenities in the article as well. The article is appropriately capped off with the final sentence just being "Fuck." Our Dumb Century has a story about one of FDR's fireside chats being a "long string of cuss words." Basically, "My fellow Americans..." were the only words out of his mouth that weren't an obscenity of some sort. | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_35a858b3 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_36215b80 | type |
Sex Sells | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_36215b80 | comment |
Sex Sells: "Poll Finds Majority Of Male Voters Would Have Elected Naked Woman" (NSFW). | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_36215b80 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_363f1f98 | type |
Former Child Star | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_363f1f98 | comment |
Former Child Star: "Entertainment Scientists Warn Miley Cyrus Will Be Depleted By 2013". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_363f1f98 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_36e63b81 | type |
Rule of Cool | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_36e63b81 | comment |
Rule of Cool: "Nation Demands Tax Dollars Only Be Wasted On Stuff That's Awesome". "Supreme Court: Death Penalty Is 'Totally Badass'". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_371b253a | type |
Testosterone Poisoning | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_371b253a | comment |
Testosterone Poisoning: "New Texas-Style Yogurt To Feed Man-Size Hunger For Yogurt". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_371b253a | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_37517526 | type |
Photoshop Filter of Evil | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_37517526 | comment |
Photoshop Filter of Evil: This cheap trick is spoofed among many other examples of Manipulative Editing in the manufactured satirical crime story "Man Had Sex With Wife Thousands Of Times Before Killing Her". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_37517526 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_38d12399 | type |
Teens Are Monsters | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_38d12399 | comment |
Teens Are Monsters: "15-Year-Old Girl Viciously Torn Apart By Rabid Pack Of Peers". "Brain-Dead Teen, Only Capable Of Rolling Eyes And Texting, To Be Euthanized". "'100% of Teenagers Huge Fucking Assholes' Confirms Study By Sobbing, Red-Faced Scientist". | |
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Dragged Off to Hell | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_38f5ed1a | comment |
Dragged Off to Hell: "Giant Demonic Hand Bursts Out Of Ground, Drags Bill Belichick Back To Hell," right in the middle of Super Bowl LIII too. | |
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Poe's Law | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_3950c1f0 | comment |
Poe's Law: Many, many times, some articles have been mistaken for legitimate ones. "Republicans Vote To Repeal Obama-Backed Bill That Would Destroy Asteroid Headed For Earth" actually provoked a Libertarian blogger to agree. The most famous example, arguably, is the Chinese newspaper falling for the story about Congress threatening to leave Washington D.C. unless a better building was built (a parody of threats made by sports teams to relocate unless they received a new stadium). The one about Harry Potter sparking a rise in witchcraft, as well as the video about the boy bankrupting the Make-A-Wish Foundation with infinite wishes, have shown up in some email forwards. The staff at Fox Nation.com repurposed an anti-Obama article seriously, not acknowledging the original was a joke. This site archives Facebook reactions treating the articles as real, and likewise this subreddit. | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_3c0a4666 | type |
Noodle Incident | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_3c0a4666 | comment |
Noodle Incident: "There Should Be No Secrets In Our Relationship Excluding The Events Of March 2, 2004". Semi-regular columnist Dept. Head Rawlings makes frequent reference to "the Barcelona debacle" in his articles. "The Onion Urges Barack Obama To Come Clean About The Basilisk Project". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_3d2c6d30 | type |
Skewed Priorities | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_3d2c6d30 | comment |
Skewed Priorities: "CDC Officials Announce Free Ice Cream For Everyone, Delicious Tasty Ice Cream, And Also There Is An Ebola Outbreak". "Survivors Of Gas Station Explosion Mourn Tragic Loss Of Gas". "Neighbors Confront Alcoholic Child Abuser About His Lawn". | |
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Take That, Audience! | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_3ea462d7 | comment |
Take That, Audience!: Does this from time to time. "Fuck Everything, Nation Reports": "Let Me Explain Why Miley Cyrus Was Our Top Story This Morning": This broadcast: | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_3ed23024 | type |
Surprisingly Realistic Outcome | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_3ed23024 | comment |
Surprisingly Realistic Outcome: "Being A Detective Who Talks To Ghosts Not As Exciting As TV". "Scrappy Band Of Lovable Misfits No Match For Rich Kids" does this in several ways, from the entire premise to more specific examples. The misfits get sued and fined under breaking and entering charges for their panty raid while hacking the rival camp's computers to display crude messages just earned their hacker a dozen subpoenas and jail time. The rich kids win not just because they are snobs. It is because they have better funding, training and equipment, something no amount of pluck can cover. Outside of cheating, they can never lose. When they soak the rival camp's director and his eviction papers, he just gets another copy. "Romantic Comedy Behavior gets Real Life Man Arrested". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_3ed23024 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_3f1aadeb | type |
Strictly Formula | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_3f1aadeb | comment |
Strictly Formula: All of Jim Anchower's articles pretty much follow the same formula — first he complains about his car, then mentions he lost whatever job he had for the intermittent time between articles. | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_3f1aadeb | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_3f1aadeb | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_3fe2b13f | type |
Ungrateful Bastard | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_3fe2b13f | comment |
Ungrateful Bastard: "Mama Duck Doesn’t Recall Asking For Injured Baby To Be Rescued From Road" | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_3fe2b13f | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_3fe2b13f | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4028c4e | type |
Off to See the Wizard | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4028c4e | comment |
Off to See the Wizard: "Sitcom Resorts To 'Wizard Of Oz'-Themed Fantasy Episode". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4028c4e | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4028c4e | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_4028c4e | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4059fbd2 | type |
Naughty Under the Table | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4059fbd2 | comment |
Naughty Under the Table: Briefly referenced in this video: "Space Under Boardroom Table A Complex Web Of Feet Massaging Various Genitals." | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4059fbd2 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_4059fbd2 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4100c67e | type |
I Don't Want to Ruin Our Friendship | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4100c67e | comment |
I Don't Want to Ruin Our Friendship: "But If We Started Dating It Would Ruin Our Friendship Where I Ask You To Do Things And You Do Them". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4100c67e | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_4100c67e | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_41435fc2 | type |
Pie in the Face | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_41435fc2 | comment |
Pie in the Face: "Study Finds Link Between Being Struck By Cream Pie, Diminished Social Standing". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_41435fc2 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_41435fc2 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_41acc7e | type |
A Hell of a Time | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_41acc7e | comment |
A Hell of a Time: "Hell Now A Thriving Epicenter Of Gay Culture". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_41acc7e | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_41acc7e | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_42008602 | type |
Story Arc | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_42008602 | comment |
Story Arc: In July 2009, T. Herman Zweibel sold the Onion to a Chinese salvage fishery, and the publication was quickly filled with pro-China propaganda and ads for fish byproducts. However, after a few days, the Chinese realized the collapse of the newspaper industry made their purchase worthless and gave the Onion back to its original management. This did not affect the AV Club, although they did let worried readers know that the company was indeed not sold to the Chinese. In June 2011, a week of articles blatantly touted The Onion as deserving a Pulitzer Prize, following a Zweibel editorial stating that he hated Pulitzer and decided it would be the best possible way to piss on his grave. A lobby group was formed, whose president turned out to be an embezzler. Several celebrities appeared in YouTube videos promoting the campaign. | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_42008602 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_420c50b7 | type |
A.I. Is a Crapshoot | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_420c50b7 | comment |
A.I. Is a Crapshoot: The Fact Zone was made fully automated at one point, which allowed it to develop sapience and an obsessive crush on Brooke Alvarez. | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_420c50b7 | featureApplicability |
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The Onion (Website) / int_420c50b7 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4415efaf | type |
Serial-Killer Killer | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4415efaf | comment |
Serial-Killer Killer: "Series Of Serial Killer Killings Rocks Serial Killer Community". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4415efaf | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_4415efaf | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_443b78cd | type |
Tranquil Fury | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_443b78cd | comment |
Tranquil Fury: "Dad Way Scarier When Controlling Temper". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_443b78cd | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_443b78cd | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4508b16b | type |
The Guards Must Be Crazy | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4508b16b | comment |
The Guards Must Be Crazy: "U.S. Military Heightens Security After Another Group Of Precocious Children Sneaks Onto Base To Save Alien Friend". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4508b16b | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_4508b16b | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_453871ec | type |
What Could Have Been | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_453871ec | comment |
What Could Have Been: In-Universe, "97-Year-Old Dies Unaware Of Being Violin Prodigy". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_453871ec | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_453871ec | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_453871ec | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4548bae | type |
Teen Pregnancy | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4548bae | comment |
Teen Pregnancy: Deconstructed in "Abused 12-Year-Old Alabama Girl Doesn't Think She Can Handle Being A Mom On Top Of Everything Else". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4548bae | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4548bae | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_4548bae | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_45ad2569 | type |
Vagueness Is Coming | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_45ad2569 | comment |
Vagueness Is Coming: "Old, Wizened Fantasy Character Confirms That The Darkness Is Rising". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_45ad2569 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_45ad2569 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_45ad2569 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_460ffa29 | type |
Transparent Closet | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_460ffa29 | comment |
Transparent Closet: "Area Homosexual Thinks He's Still In The Closet". "Area Man Experimenting with Homosexuality For Past Eight Years". "Why Do All These Homosexuals Keep Sucking My Cock?" "Band Teacher Gay In Retrospect". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_460ffa29 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_460ffa29 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_460ffa29 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4674f3b1 | type |
Mischief-Making Monkey | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4674f3b1 | comment |
Mischief-Making Monkey: "Epstein Guards Placed On Disciplinary Leave For Allowing Selves To Be Distracted By Mischievous Monkey That Stole Key Ring". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4674f3b1 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4674f3b1 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_4674f3b1 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_469e3e2f | type |
In-Universe | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_469e3e2f | comment |
Mocked In-Universe with "10 Things That Will Make You SUPER Nostalgic for The '90s", a 2013 slideshow with real photos of such great things as the Rwandan genocide, the fiery end of the Waco siege, the Oklahoma City bombing, and Columbine. And Alan Alda, for some reason. | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_469e3e2f | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_469e3e2f | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_47b6a1e5 | type |
"Just Joking" Justification | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_47b6a1e5 | comment |
"Just Joking" Justification: "Come On, Lighten Up, I'm Just Being A Total Asshole". "Bully Can't Believe Classmate Took 4 Straight Years Of Being Told To Kill Herself Seriously". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_47b6a1e5 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_47b6a1e5 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_485eb589 | type |
Sealed Evil in a Can | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_485eb589 | comment |
Sealed Evil in a Can: "Pope Francis Warns Seals On Jesus' Tomb Are Weakening". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_485eb589 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_485eb589 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_485eb589 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4885c04b | type |
Road Trip Plot | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4885c04b | comment |
Road Trip Plot: Over the summer of 2017, Stan Kelly was stuck on one with his son, daughter-in-law, and grandchildren. He hated virtually all of it and, whether as a side-effect of his perpetual curmudgeonly attitude or due to other circumstances, it ended in his son's marriage collapsing and Stan fleeing early on a plane. | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4885c04b | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_4885c04b | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4930959c | type |
Bigger Than Jesus | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4930959c | comment |
Bigger Than Jesus: Published an apology in their corrections section after purportedly making such a remark, consequently revealing inverted intentions: | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4930959c | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4930959c | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_4930959c | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_49d59be9 | type |
Scenery Porn | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_49d59be9 | comment |
Scenery Porn: "National Parks Closed For Annual Remajestification". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_49d59be9 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_49d59be9 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4acee1ed | type |
Fish out of Temporal Water | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4acee1ed | comment |
Fish out of Temporal Water: "Roman Centurion Crawling Out Of New York City Manhole In For One Wacky Adventure". Founder and editor of The Onion T. Herman Zweibel far surpasses a Disco Dan, being positively ancient (over 140 years old) and sheltered from modern life for a century by his severe decrepitude and distaste for his fellow man. He seems dimly aware of what's going on in the world, but for the most part, he approaches everything with the zealous tyranny of a Gilded Age robber baron — when he learns of the death of print and the new tycoons of social media, his first instinct is to have Zuckerberg and Musk killed. | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_4acee1ed | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4ae72307 | type |
Be Yourself | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4ae72307 | comment |
Be Yourself: Deconstructed in "Local Man Ruins Date By Just Being Himself". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4ae72307 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_4ae72307 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4b8932a4 | type |
Stalking Is Love | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4b8932a4 | comment |
Stalking is Love: "Romantic-Comedy Behavior Gets Real-Life Man Arrested" involves the titular man being arrested for stalking his love interest during his Grand Romantic Gesture. | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4b8932a4 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_4b8932a4 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4c506837 | type |
The Snack Is More Interesting | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4c506837 | comment |
The Snack Is More Interesting: "Snacks Distract Lawmakers From Horrors of War". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4c506837 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_4c506837 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4c554daf | type |
President Evil | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4c554daf | comment |
President Evil: "Obama: Help Us Destroy Jesus And Start A New Age Of Liberal Darkness". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4c554daf | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_4c554daf | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4c6205c5 | type |
New Technology Is Evil | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4c6205c5 | comment |
New Technology Is Evil: Kelly's cartoons often mock/demonize teenagers for using these, typically referring to the devices as "SOME GIZMO". Contrary to the intended message, it only makes Kelly himself look hopelessly behind the times — he's bemoaned the fall of VHS◊ in the past, and only embraced the DVD format when it began to concede to Blu-Ray. | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_4c6205c5 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4c70bdae | type |
Terrorists Without a Cause | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4c70bdae | comment |
Terrorists Without a Cause: "Conceptual Terrorists Encase Sears Tower In Jell-O". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4c70bdae | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_4c70bdae | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4c851777 | type |
Black Comedy Rape | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4c851777 | comment |
Black Comedy Rape: "Black Bear Attacks, Rapes Zookeeper" is a subversion, as the article's clownish treatment of the horrific subject matter was itself the joke. | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4c851777 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_4c851777 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4d1b485d | type |
Dedication | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4d1b485d | comment |
The parody editorial cartoonist Stan Kelly displays traits of this frequently. In the book collection, he even dedicates it to himself for having the guts to "tell it like it is". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_4d1b485d | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4d422f71 | type |
Throw It In! | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4d422f71 | comment |
Throw It In!: In-universe with "Police Interruption Hastily Written Into Student Film". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4d422f71 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4d422f71 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_4d422f71 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4dc13d51 | type |
Grand Romantic Gesture | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4dc13d51 | comment |
Grand Romantic Gesture: Deconstructed in "Romantic-Comedy Behavior Gets Real-Life Man Arrested". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4dc13d51 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4dc13d51 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_4dc13d51 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4dc88e20 | type |
Stop Being Stereotypical | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4dc88e20 | comment |
Stop Being Stereotypical: "Chinese Laundry Owner Blasted For Reinforcing Negative Ethnic Stereotypes". "American Muslims To Fort Hood Shooter: 'Thanks A Lot, Asshole'". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4dc88e20 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_4dc88e20 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4df919c9 | type |
Repressed Memories | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4df919c9 | comment |
Repressed Memories: One of the Jean Teasdale articles from Finest News Reporting shows that she repressed a memory of being sexually abused by a bully while in Catholic school; it comes back when she's watching The Rosie O'Donnell Show because Rosie reminds her of the bully, and results in her throwing a Precious Moments figure at the TV (she misses). | |
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1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_4df919c9 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4e1d9178 | type |
Tailor-Made Prison | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4e1d9178 | comment |
Tailor-Made Prison: "Prisoners' Rights Group Protests Treatment Of Supervillains In Nation's Magnetic Detainment Cubes" | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4e1d9178 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_4e1d9178 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4e2d9f37 | type |
Useless Accessory | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4e2d9f37 | comment |
Useless Accessory: "Badass Surgeon Puts On Fingerless Latex Gloves Before Operating" | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4e2d9f37 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4e2d9f37 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_4e2d9f37 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4e3d253b | type |
Downer Ending | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4e3d253b | comment |
Downer Ending: See Mood Whiplash examples below, as well as "World Now Down To 5 Stories That Are Inspirational", which followed on from the Real Life arrest of double-amputee Olympic runner Oscar Pistorius for murder. Even the article has a downer ending when the number is reduced to four (a father heroically battling cancer turned out to be having an affair with an underage girl). | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4e3d253b | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_4e3d253b | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4e70e128 | type |
Evil Stole My Faith | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4e70e128 | comment |
Evil Stole My Faith: One article had a Straw Loser whose very existence was an affront to both the theory of evolution (what purpose can this guy possibly serve?!) and the existence of a kind and loving god (If we're made in God's image, well...), with each side parading him around as the ultimate argument against the other. | |
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1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_4e70e128 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4e7c4536 | type |
Wham Line | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4e7c4536 | comment |
Wham Line: The very last line of the aforementioned "Cult Divided On Whether To Let Women Become Telepathic-Vision Clerics" article. "This whole argument will be moot in six days when we board up the windows and burn ourselves alive." From the Onion's Trump Documents "leak", "Theseus Protocol Memos": "Car Ride Devoted To Explaining What Things Will Be Different About Grandma This Visit", has Wendy Gritton telling her children that their grandmother's health has been declining. It ends with "At press time, Gritton and her kids had finally arrived at their grandmother's funeral." | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_4e7c4536 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4f4602da | type |
They Changed It, Now It Sucks! | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4f4602da | comment |
They Changed It, Now It Sucks!: In-universe with "NHL Woos Fans By Increasing Scoring With Bigger Nets, 3-Point Line". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4f4602da | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4f4602da | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_4f4602da | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4f4bbeff | type |
Interspecies Friendship | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4f4bbeff | comment |
Interspecies Friendship: "8 Unlikely Animal Friendships", a parody of one of the more common choices for clickbait articles. | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4f4bbeff | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_4f4bbeff | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4f7c3890 | type |
Shoddy Knockoff Product | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4f7c3890 | comment |
Shoddy Knockoff Product: "Yellowstone National Park Concerned About Competing 'Yello-Stone Natural Park' Built Right Across Street". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4f7c3890 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_4f7c3890 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4fb23aa8 | type |
I Have This Friend | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4fb23aa8 | comment |
I Have This Friend: "Bush Asks Advice For This Friend Of His Who Invaded Iraq". "Political Talk Show Host Suddenly Very Interested In Manslaughter Law Loopholes". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_4fb23aa8 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_4fb23aa8 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_5077c424 | type |
The Morlocks | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_5077c424 | comment |
The Morlocks: "Hundreds Of Blind, Pallid Disney Characters Discovered Living In Caves Deep Within Space Mountain". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_5077c424 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_5077c424 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_5077c424 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_50b05d30 | type |
Disproportionate Retribution | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_50b05d30 | comment |
Disproportionate Retribution: "Little Boy Heroically Shoots, Mutilates Burglar". In "Gaffe-Prone Biden Embarrasses Nation Yet Again By Sneezing During Meeting", the In the Know panelists harshly criticize Joe Biden for things like sneezing, tying his shoes and blinking. By the end, they're preparing to lynch him. | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_50b05d30 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_50b05d30 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_5111ff0 | type |
Kill the Poor | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_5111ff0 | comment |
Kill the Poor: "RNC Builds Levee Out Of Poor People To Protect Convention Site". "Paul Ryan Slits Auto Mechanic's Throat To Kick Off GOP Purge Of Working Class". "Blood-Soaked Mayor Bloomberg Announces Homelessness No Longer A Problem In New York City". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_5111ff0 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_5111ff0 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_5111ff0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_51300dbf | type |
Fat Bastard | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_51300dbf | comment |
Fat Bastard: Jeremiah Alden, the fattest man on the Mayflower and possible culprit of genetic obesity in America. Although his demeanor is noted as being "joyous and agreeable" by the other settlers, his laziness and great appetite meant that he tended to do nothing but sit around all day and eat all of the colony's supplies, which led to half of the Puritans starving to death that winter. | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_51300dbf | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_51300dbf | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_51561f43 | type |
Hurricane of Euphemisms | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_51561f43 | comment |
Hurricane of Euphemisms: "Renowned Hoo-Ha Doctor Wins Nobel Prize For Medical Advancements Down There". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_51561f43 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_51561f43 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_515eeccc | type |
Sampling | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_515eeccc | comment |
Sampling: "Nation's Rappers Down to Last Two Samples". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_515eeccc | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_515eeccc | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_515eeccc | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_51df5ca1 | type |
Animal Metaphor | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_51df5ca1 | comment |
Animal Metaphor: An article has an entire family attempting to use the family dog as a metaphor for their relationship difficulties — the father for example saying that the dog feels confined and needs to run free, while the youngest child says the dog just wants some attention... | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_51df5ca1 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_51df5ca1 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_51f336bf | type |
Joggers Find Death | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_51f336bf | comment |
Joggers Find Death: "Nation's Joggers Sick of Finding Dead Bodies". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_51f336bf | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_51f336bf | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_51f336bf | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_52a8d3dc | type |
Pyromaniac | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_52a8d3dc | comment |
Pyromaniac: "Top Ten Most Glorious Flames Of 2015". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_52a8d3dc | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_52a8d3dc | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_52a8d3dc | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_52db461d | type |
Significant Anagram | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_52db461d | comment |
Significant Anagram: Dr. Tanas from Dr. Good is an anagram for Satan, whom he is heavily implied to be. | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_52db461d | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_52db461d | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_52db461d | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_530350d5 | type |
Trouble Entendre | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_530350d5 | comment |
Trouble Entendre: "Al Qaeda Also Fed Up With Ground Zero Construction Delays" is an example in and of itself. | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_530350d5 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_530350d5 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_530350d5 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_53224e46 | type |
Bookends | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_53224e46 | comment |
Bookends: The Onion opened Barack Obama's presidency with "Black Man Given Nation's Worst Job", and ended it with "Black Man Out Of Work"; both articles treat the presidency as just another undesirable, unpleasant job. | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_53224e46 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_53224e46 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_53224e46 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_5345de5 | type |
Strange-Syntax Speaker | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_5345de5 | comment |
Strange-Syntax Speaker: "Rules Grammar Change". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_5345de5 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_5345de5 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_5345de5 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_53830d | type |
The Internet Is for Porn | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_53830d | comment |
The Internet Is for Porn: "Naked Woman Picture Gains Popularity On Internet" (NSFW). | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_53830d | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_53830d | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_53830d | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_53e1ce4e | type |
Please Wake Up | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_53e1ce4e | comment |
Please Wake Up: "Daddy Put In Bye-Bye Box". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_53e1ce4e | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_53e1ce4e | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_53e1ce4e | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_5521ed05 | type |
No Animals Were Harmed | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_5521ed05 | comment |
No Animals Were Harmed: "Factory-Farm-To-Table Restaurant Proudly Serves Locally Tortured Animals" | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_5521ed05 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_5521ed05 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_5521ed05 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_55fa41e2 | type |
NietzscheWannabe | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_55fa41e2 | comment |
Nietzsche Wannabe: "Pre-Game Coin Toss Makes Jaguars Realize Randomness Of Life". "Existentialist Firefighter Delays 3 Deaths". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_55fa41e2 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_55fa41e2 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_571bfe2 | type |
Super Serum | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_571bfe2 | comment |
Super Serum: "Clinton Injected With Highly-Unstable Experimental Growth Serum". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_571bfe2 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_571bfe2 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_571bfe2 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_57a937f1 | type |
Heävy Mëtal Ümlaut | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_57a937f1 | comment |
Heävy Mëtal Ümlaut: "Ünited Stätes Toughens Image with Umlauts". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_57a937f1 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_57a937f1 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_57a937f1 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_581f6468 | type |
Hero of Another Story | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_581f6468 | comment |
Hero of Another Story: During his term as Secretary of State, articles involving John Kerry had him portrayed as though he was the protagonist of an action movie, and picked up right as the action started happening. The Supreme Court being semi-superheroes. | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_581f6468 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_581f6468 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_5859124f | type |
Gruesome Goat | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_5859124f | comment |
Gruesome Goat: In an article reporting on the U.S. Department of Evil's decision that all must die, the Department's Dread Secretary of Evil Hammond S. Reynolds is depicted as a humanoid with the head of a red-eyed goat. | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_5859124f | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_5859124f | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_5874eb12 | type |
Organic Technology | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_5874eb12 | comment |
Organic Technology: "Guatemalan Flight's Data-Recording Parrot May Hold Clues To The Crash". "Interim Apple Chief Under Fire After Unveiling Grotesque New MacBook". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_5874eb12 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_5874eb12 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_59907e4f | type |
Police Are Useless | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_59907e4f | comment |
Police Are Useless: "Entire U.S. Police Force Flees Country After Hearing Gunman Inside Nation". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_59907e4f | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_59907e4f | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_59907e4f | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_5a33cf5 | type |
Future Loser | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_5a33cf5 | comment |
Future Loser: "Entertainment Scientists Warn Miley Cyrus Will Be Depleted By 2013". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_5a33cf5 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_5a33cf5 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_5a33cf5 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_5a59b3a1 | type |
Hulk Speak | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_5a59b3a1 | comment |
Hulk Speak: "Why No One Want Make Hulk 2?". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_5a59b3a1 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_5a59b3a1 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_5a59b3a1 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_5ad80bf8 | type |
It's All My Fault | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_5ad80bf8 | comment |
It's All My Fault: "Soaring U.S. Divorce Rate Blamed On Local 11-Year-Old". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_5ad80bf8 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_5ad80bf8 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_5ad80bf8 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_5be7bd04 | type |
Raised by Wolves | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_5be7bd04 | comment |
Raised by Wolves: Parodied in the Onion News Network video "Girl Raised From Birth By Wolf Blitzer Taken Into Protective Custody". The girl in question is a half-human, half-Wolf Blitzer who always wears pressed suits and slicked-back hair, talks in a stilted news-anchor voice, and is calmed by the use of a lint roller. | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_5be7bd04 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_5be7bd04 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_5e2e55e4 | type |
The Casanova | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_5e2e55e4 | comment |
The Casanova: Recurring columnist Smoove B is basically a sexy R&B song personified. His columns detail the art of seduction and his various sexual encounters past and planned. | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_5e2e55e4 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_5e2e55e4 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_5f5aa5af | type |
Bulungi | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_5f5aa5af | comment |
Bulungi: The Trope Namer on fictitious African countries originated in this article. "U.S. Shocked Andorra Not In Africa", where the U.S. State Department accidentally sends aid to the tiny European principality of Andorra after hearing their vaguely African-sounding name and just assuming they were a famine-stricken warzone. It turns out that the map they use has only five countries — "Congo" (taking up most of the northern continent), "Mumbambu", "???", "South Africa", and a Madagascar-like landmass named "Claw Island". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_5f5aa5af | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_5f5aa5af | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_5fdf73bc | type |
Photographic Memory | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_5fdf73bc | comment |
Photographic Memory: "Area Man Can Remember Exactly Where He Was, What He Was Doing When He Assassinated John F. Kennedy". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_5fdf73bc | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_5fdf73bc | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_5fdf73bc | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_5ff56a1f | type |
Long List | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_5ff56a1f | comment |
Long List: The list of people not to be at the end of "Tips For Not Condemning Millions Of Americans To Sickness And Death". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_5ff56a1f | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_5ff56a1f | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_5ff56a1f | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_60414102 | type |
Zombie Apocalypse | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_60414102 | comment |
Zombie Apocalypse: "Study Reveals Pittsburgh Unprepared For Full-Scale Zombie Attack". "Low Voter Turnout Blamed On Election-Day Zombie Attacks". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_60414102 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_60414102 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_60414102 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6136e02f | type |
Brain Food | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6136e02f | comment |
Brain Food: "Zombie Nutritionist Recommends All-Brain Diet". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6136e02f | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6136e02f | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_6136e02f | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_615a96fb | type |
Immoral Reality Show | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_615a96fb | comment |
Immoral Reality Show: Parodied with Sex House, in which six contestants live together in a isolated house, which should hopefully results in lots of sex and drama and high ratings for the network, but with The Onion being The Onion, things quickly take a turn for the worse. | |
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1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_615a96fb | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_615cad18 | type |
Outdoor Bath Peeping | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_615cad18 | comment |
Outdoor Bath Peeping: "Relationship Experts Recommend Single Women Try Bathing In Open Stream Until Suitor Glimpses Them Through Trees". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_615cad18 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_615cad18 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_617f0563 | type |
Heel–Face Turn | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_617f0563 | comment |
Heel–Face Turn: "Formerly Evil Wrestler Realizes Error Of His Ways". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_617f0563 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_617f0563 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_617f0563 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_61c60bbb | type |
No Product Safety Standards | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_61c60bbb | comment |
No Product Safety Standards: Has a few parodies of this, such as one video where a munitions manufacturer apologized for hollow-point rounds not exploding properly, with animations showing the problem. | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_61c60bbb | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_61c60bbb | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_61c60bbb | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_62a2d3d7 | type |
Sequelitis | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_62a2d3d7 | comment |
Sequelitis: In-universe. "Vindictive Movie Studio Threatens To Make 'Coyote Ugly' Sequel". "Final Minutes Of Last Harry Potter Movie To Be Split Into Seven Separate Films". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_62a2d3d7 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_62a2d3d7 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_62a2d3d7 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6331ba26 | type |
Plot Hole | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6331ba26 | comment |
Plot Hole: "Hollywood Maintenance Crews Sent Out To Patch Up Film Industry’s Plotholes". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6331ba26 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6331ba26 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_6331ba26 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_64713b04 | type |
Pedophile Priest | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_64713b04 | comment |
Pedophile Priest: "Biblical Scholars Find Evidence Church Covered Up For 3 Wise Men Who Molested Baby Jesus". "U.K. Cardinal Resigns In Wake Of—Get This—Sex Abuse Allegations". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_64713b04 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_64713b04 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_64713b04 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_64d3ffd8 | type |
The Extremist Was Right | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_64d3ffd8 | comment |
The Extremist Was Right: Some articles, such as "Harry Potter Books Spark Rise In Satanism Among Children", essentially portray some paranoid conspiracy theorists as being right. | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_64d3ffd8 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_64d3ffd8 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_64d3ffd8 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_652c32fa | type |
Super-Deformed | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_652c32fa | comment |
Super-Deformed: Deconstructed. "Bratz Dolls May Give Young Girls Unrealistic Expectations Of Head Size" explores the ramifications of even the mild form (4 heads) seen in Bratz dolls. | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_652c32fa | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_652c32fa | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_652c32fa | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_661a66d8 | type |
Animal Wrongs Group | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_661a66d8 | comment |
Animal Wrongs Group: "Heroic PETA Commandos Kill 49, Save Rabbit" involves PETA raiding a lab and killing scientists to save a rabbit. To make matters worse, said rabbit gets eaten almost immediately after they free it. | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_661a66d8 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_661a66d8 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_661a66d8 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_665d24fb | type |
Did You Die? | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_665d24fb | comment |
Did You Die?: "Candidate May Have Lied About Heroic Death In Vietnam". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_665d24fb | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_665d24fb | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_665d24fb | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_66805a18 | type |
Race for Your Love | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_66805a18 | comment |
Race for Your Love: "Man Running Toward Departing Train Must Have Finally Realized He Loves Her". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_66805a18 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_66805a18 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_66805a18 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_68069489 | type |
Nipple and Dimed | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_68069489 | comment |
Nipple and Dimed: The article "U.S. Children Still Traumatized One Year After Seeing Partially Exposed Breast On TV" satirizes the whole Janet Jackson thing and the question raised here. | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_68069489 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_68069489 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_68069489 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_68a5e1c3 | type |
Humans Are Psychic in the Future | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_68a5e1c3 | comment |
Humans Are Psychic in the Future: "Report: World's Lone Non-Telepathic Individual Still Completely Unaware". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_68a5e1c3 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_68a5e1c3 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_68a5e1c3 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6941e30b | type |
Room Full of Crazy | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6941e30b | comment |
Room Full of Crazy: "Melania Trump Stumbles Upon Dozens Of Husband’s Haunting, Macabre Self-Portraits". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6941e30b | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6941e30b | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_6941e30b | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6a0297a8 | type |
What Do You Mean, It's Not Didactic? | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6a0297a8 | comment |
What Do You Mean, It's Not Didactic?: In-Universe. "I Appreciate The Muppets On A Much Deeper Level Than You". "Freshman Term Paper Discovers Something Totally New About 'Silas Marner'". "Grad Student Deconstructs Take-Out Menu". Real Life example: An article was used for the 2005 English Language and Composition Advanced Placement exam... meaning that there was actually something to analyze in that article. | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6a0297a8 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6a0297a8 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_6a0297a8 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6aaf4011 | type |
Apathetic Student | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6aaf4011 | comment |
Apathetic Student: Played for Laughs in "Patriotic Teen Fails Spanish", wherein a lazy student manages to rouse public support when he flunks his Spanish class so he can smoke cigarettes, which is misinterpreted by the right-wing lobby as a grand patriotic protest. The kid really is just obnoxious and stupid. | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6aaf4011 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6aaf4011 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_6aaf4011 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6b05b601 | type |
Jerkass Has a Point | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6b05b601 | comment |
Jerkass Has a Point: Jean Teasdale's husband Rick may be a hard-drinking jerk, but he's also Closer to Earth than Jean (which isn't difficult, to be honest), he gets upset with her for squandering their money on things like Precious Moments figures when they're trying to get out of debt. | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6b05b601 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6b05b601 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_6b05b601 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6b35bdff | type |
Serious Business | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6b35bdff | comment |
Serious Business: "Modern-Day Martin Luther Nails 95 Comment Cards To IHOP Door". Anything by ubergeek Larry Groznic, whose specialty is asserting to those less enlightened than himself that he is Nerdier Than Thou. Example: "When You Are Ready To Have A Serious Conversation About Green Lantern, You Have My E-Mail Address". "General Mills' 'Star Wars: Episode II' Cereal Gets It All Wrong". "Americans Bravely Go To Polls Despite Threat Of Electing Congress". "I Shall Scramble Two With Bacon When The Muse Moves Me". "Helvetica Bold Oblique Sweeps Fontys". "What Foolhardy Mortal Thinks He Can Shelve Faster Than I?" "Juicer Infomercial Sweeps Early Morning Emmys". In many other stories, the event itself is entirely plausible; the joke is simply that anyone would consider it newsworthy: "Whaler Sandwich 'Not Sitting Too Good' with Area Man". "Nation Struggles To Understand Why Area Pie Didn't Come Out Right". "Honey, I'm Not Going To Stand Here And Debate The Merits Of The First Two B-52's LPs In Front Of The Whole Supermarket". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6b35bdff | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6b35bdff | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_6b35bdff | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6b723294 | type |
Techno Babble | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6b723294 | comment |
Techno Babble: "Raving Lunatic Obviously Took Some Advanced Physics". "Sci-fi Writer Attributes Everything Mysterious To 'Quantum Flux'". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6b723294 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6b723294 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_6b723294 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6b8c8d72 | type |
Our Slogan Is Terrible | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6b8c8d72 | comment |
Our Slogan Is Terrible: "New 'Small 'n' Flaccid' Ad Campaign Least Successful Ever". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6b8c8d72 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6b8c8d72 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_6b8c8d72 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6b983bf7 | type |
Unstoppable Rage | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6b983bf7 | comment |
Unstoppable Rage: "Twelve Customers Gunned Down In Convenience-Store Clerk's Imagination". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6b983bf7 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6b983bf7 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_6b983bf7 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6bfc52a3 | type |
A Wizard Did It | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6bfc52a3 | comment |
A Wizard Did It: "Sci-fi Writer Attributes Everything Mysterious To 'Quantum Flux'". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6bfc52a3 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6bfc52a3 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_6bfc52a3 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6cdc784f | type |
You No Take Candle | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6cdc784f | comment |
You No Take Candle: "Fire Hot" is presented like a caveman talking about fire. "Republicans Reach Out To Women With New 'No Punch Pretty Lady' Bill" features a congressman talking like this. "This What World Like Now" is a title-only example. | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6cdc784f | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6cdc784f | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_6cdc784f | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6d332aea | type |
Driven to Suicide | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6d332aea | comment |
Driven to Suicide: "Bully Can't Believe Classmate Took 4 Years Of Being Told To Kill Herself Seriously", and "Gay Conversion Therapists Claim Most Patients Fully Straight By The Time They Commit Suicide". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6d332aea | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6d332aea | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_6d332aea | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6d892421 | type |
Teacher/Student Romance | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6d892421 | comment |
Teacher/Student Romance: "Lonely Teacher, Outcast Student Begin Somewhat Endearing Sexual Relationship". Also includes Shipper on Deck. | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6d892421 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6d892421 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_6d892421 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6dc206c9 | type |
Marathon Level | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6dc206c9 | comment |
Marathon Level: "NASCAR Considers Single 21,500 Mile Race For 2011 Season". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6dc206c9 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6dc206c9 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_6dc206c9 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6dc84b96 | type |
The Tetris Effect | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6dc84b96 | comment |
The Tetris Effect: "Area CEO Likes To Think Of Family As Small, Close-Knit Business". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6dc84b96 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6dc84b96 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_6dc84b96 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6e37c196 | type |
Once Done, Never Forgotten | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6e37c196 | comment |
Once Done, Never Forgotten: "Everyone Still Remembers Time You Threw Up In 5th Grade". "Man Who Shit Pants In Grade School Awarded Purple Heart". "Man Who Got Shit Together 5 Years Ago Still Viewed As Lovable Fuckup By Friends, Family". "All Of Man's Accomplishments Overshadowed By Hefty Birth Weight". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6e37c196 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6e37c196 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_6e37c196 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6ee10e0 | type |
My Greatest Failure | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6ee10e0 | comment |
My Greatest Failure: "Mall Justice Is Swift And Harsh". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6ee10e0 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6ee10e0 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_6ee10e0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6fba77ef | type |
Moon-Landing Hoax | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6fba77ef | comment |
Moon-Landing Hoax: "Conspiracy Theorist Convinces Neil Armstrong Moon Landing Was Faked". Ironically, the story was reprinted by two Bangladesh newspapersnote The Daily Manab Zami and New Nation as real news. | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6fba77ef | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6fba77ef | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_6fba77ef | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6fc192ef | type |
Jerkass Woobie | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6fc192ef | comment |
Jerkass Woobie: In-Universe, "Teen With Cancer Vows It Won't Keep Her From Being Mean, Moody Little Shit". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6fc192ef | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_6fc192ef | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_6fc192ef | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_701c2f6 | type |
Love Hotels | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_701c2f6 | comment |
Love Hotels: "Longtime Married Couple Subjected To Excruciating 'Romantic Weekend Getaway'". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_701c2f6 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_701c2f6 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_701c2f6 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_7040b6bc | type |
Understatement | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_7040b6bc | comment |
Understatement: "Tensions Mount After North Korea Destroys All Of Asia". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_7040b6bc | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_7040b6bc | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_7040b6bc | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_711e9c91 | type |
Network Decay | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_711e9c91 | comment |
Network Decay: In-Universe, "Learning Channel Switches to All-Gilligan Format". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_711e9c91 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_711e9c91 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_711e9c91 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_7142b38a | type |
The Grim Reaper | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_7142b38a | comment |
The Grim Reaper: Frequently appears in Kelly's cartoons, where he's used as overblown symbolism that things Stan Kelly doesn't like are evil and wrong. | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_7142b38a | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_7142b38a | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_7142b38a | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_71642c70 | type |
Viewers Are Goldfish | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_71642c70 | comment |
Viewers Are Goldfish: "FCC: All Programming To Be Broadcast In ADHDTV By 2007". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_71642c70 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_71642c70 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_71642c70 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_71e8a5c5 | type |
Trauma Conga Line | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_71e8a5c5 | comment |
Trauma Conga Line: Jim Haggerty in the Porkin' Across America series is subjected to this along with a decent amount of Body Horror and Sanity Slippage. Besides losing his dog, car, house and the love of his entire family throughout the progress of the show, his continually building injuries force him to have to replace parts of his body with pig innards. By the final episode, he's so become so disparaged and mutilated that he embraces becoming a pig and goes to live on a farm with the rest of his kind, even disregarding an opportunity to retake his hosting position on Today Now! and an awards show in favor his new "family". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_71e8a5c5 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_71e8a5c5 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_71e8a5c5 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_722a6ef4 | type |
Game Show | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_722a6ef4 | comment |
Game Show: Spoofed in various articles. Jeopardy!: "Alex Trebek Deftly Prolongs Agonizing Small Talk". "Ken Jennings Mistaken For Subway's Jared Again". "'Jeopardy!' Viewer Had No Idea He Knew So Much About Weasels". The Price Is Right: "'Price Is Right' Demands Pullout Of U.S. Forces". "What Am I Going To Do With All These Dog Uteruses?". Wheel of Fortune: "Desperate 'Wheel Of Fortune' Receives Approval To Use Swear Words". "'Wheel Of Fortune' Contestants Hit Hard As Vowel Prices Skyrocket". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_722a6ef4 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_722a6ef4 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_722a6ef4 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_723be11b | type |
Villain Has a Point | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_723be11b | comment |
Villain Has a Point: "U.S. Authorities Can't Really Fault Al-Qaeda For Deadly Bombing Of Carnival Cruise Ship": "Hostage Negotiator Has To Admit Terrorist Has Good Point": | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_723be11b | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_723be11b | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_723be11b | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_7241785e | type |
You Can't Fight Fate | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_7241785e | comment |
You Can't Fight Fate: Most of the horoscope entries, although this list's Scorpio is probably the most blunt example. Inverted in this list's Pisces. | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_7241785e | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_7241785e | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_7241785e | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_72852a93 | type |
Henpecked Husband | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_72852a93 | comment |
Henpecked Husband: "Empowered Man Murders Controlling Wife In Lifetime For Men Original Movie". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_72852a93 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_72852a93 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_72852a93 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_72856b70 | type |
Godzilla Threshold | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_72856b70 | comment |
Godzilla Threshold: "Last Ditch Climate Change Plan Provides Locations of Weapons, Current Whereabouts of Oil Executives". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_72856b70 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_72856b70 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_72856b70 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_734a416a | type |
Dinner Order Flub | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_734a416a | comment |
Dinner Order Flub: In Our Dumb World's entry on Burkina Faso, there's a joke about the very low literacy rate of that country when one of their diplomats tries to order a notice that an extra gratuity may be charged for large groups. | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_734a416a | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_734a416a | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_734a416a | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_73f79f91 | type |
Released to Elsewhere | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_73f79f91 | comment |
Released to Elsewhere: "We Gave Rex To A Nice Farm Family vs. They Had Me Put To Sleep At The Vet". "Packers Tell Fans They Gave Favre to a Nice Farm Family". Subverted at the end of "Fire Consumes Big Happy Farm Where Families Send Sick Dogs To Run Free And Play": | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_73f79f91 | featureApplicability |
-0.3 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_73f79f91 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_73f79f91 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_74149c93 | type |
Epic Rocking | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_74149c93 | comment |
Epic Rocking: "Carrie Underwood Releases Complex, Multi-Part Prog Rock Inspired 'Sunday Night Football' Theme Song." | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_74149c93 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_74149c93 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_74149c93 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_7426582d | type |
Token Minority | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_7426582d | comment |
Token Minority: "Black Guy Photoshopped In". As 11points demonstrates, this is Truth in Television. | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_7426582d | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_7426582d | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_7426582d | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_743d2893 | type |
The Woobie | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_743d2893 | comment |
The Woobie: In-Universe, "Awkward New International Student Saw His Entire Family Murdered In The Congo". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_743d2893 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_743d2893 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_743d2893 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_74b85afd | type |
If You're So Evil, Eat This Kitten! | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_74b85afd | comment |
If You're So Evil, Eat This Kitten!: Inverted in a report on new financial regulations, among them requiring stock traders to pass a "Kitten and Hammer Ethics Test". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_74b85afd | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_74b85afd | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_74b85afd | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_74c1b6f4 | type |
Flyover Country | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_74c1b6f4 | comment |
Flyover Country: "Indianapolis Announces Really Embarrassing Bid For 2020 Summer Olympics". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_74c1b6f4 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_74c1b6f4 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_74c1b6f4 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_75196a1d | type |
Translation by Volume | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_75196a1d | comment |
Translation by Volume: This article on traveling abroad advises that shouting at foreigners is useful, along with many other helpful tips for American tourists. | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_75196a1d | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_75196a1d | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_75196a1d | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_755ecb56 | type |
Infraction Distraction | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_755ecb56 | comment |
Infraction Distraction: "[Andrew] Cuomo Increasingly Desperate To Shift Focus Back Onto Nursing Home Deaths". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_755ecb56 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_755ecb56 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_755ecb56 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_7582930a | type |
Hollywood Science | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_7582930a | comment |
Hollywood Science: "Coal Lobby warns Wind Farms may blow Earth off-orbit". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_7582930a | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_7582930a | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_7582930a | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_75f626a5 | type |
Nostalgia Filter | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_75f626a5 | comment |
Nostalgia Filter: Mocked In-Universe with "10 Things That Will Make You SUPER Nostalgic for The '90s", a 2013 slideshow with real photos of such great things as the Rwandan genocide, the fiery end of the Waco siege, the Oklahoma City bombing, and Columbine. And Alan Alda, for some reason. "Red Sox Announce Plans To Return Fenway To Original 1912 Conditions". | |
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Hostility on the Set | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_764ba6ce | comment |
Hostility on the Set: In-universe: "Steven Spielberg Recalls Coming To Blows with E.T. On Film Set". | |
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Multiple Demographic Appeal | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_767caf1f | comment |
Multiple Demographic Appeal: "Adults Go Wild Over Latest In Children's Picture Book Series". | |
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Side Effects Include... | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_768fb522 | comment |
Side Effects Include...: "Pfizer Launches 'Zoloft for Everything' Ad Campaign". | |
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Straw Feminist | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_76d233f9 | comment |
Straw Feminist: "I Don't Support Feminism If It Means Murdering All Men". | |
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Married to the Job | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_775a1af6 | comment |
Married to the Job: "Tom Coughlin Retires From Family To Spend More Time With Team". | |
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Troubling Unchildlike Behavior | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_77ed6b7d | comment |
Troubling Unchildlike Behavior: Lucas Armitage in "Little Boy Heroically Shoots, Mutliates Burglar". Even the host gets a bit uncomfortable as Lucas stares into the camera and says, "I want the blood." | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_7815ba15 | type |
N-Word Privileges | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_7815ba15 | comment |
N-Word Privileges: "God Finally Gives Shout-Out Back To All His Niggaz". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_7831b670 | type |
Gaia's Vengeance | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_7831b670 | comment |
Gaia's Vengeance: "Scott Pruitt Nervously Picks Up Walking Pace as Hundreds of Whooping Cranes Begin Silently Perching Around Him". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_7886d4d0 | type |
December–December Romance | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_7886d4d0 | comment |
December–December Romance: "Ruth Bader Ginsburg Flirting With 67-Year-Old Intern Again". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_78c85191 | type |
Grapes of Luxury | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_78c85191 | comment |
Grapes of Luxury: "Obama Fed Grapes While Urging Press Conference To Enjoy Orgy". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_792b66e2 | type |
Periphery Demographic | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_792b66e2 | comment |
Periphery Demographic: In-universe. "Children, Creepy Middle-Aged Weirdos Swept Up In 'Harry Potter' Craze". "Man Not Belonging To Movie's Target Demographic Escorted From Theater By Hollywood Officials". "Adults Go Wild Over Latest In Children's Picture Book Series". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_7960ab92 | type |
Sanity Ball | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_7960ab92 | comment |
Sanity Ball: The various recurring guests and hosts on In The Know take turns holding this between different segments and being the Only Sane Man with any actual knowledge regarding the issue. In other segments though everyone is equally uninformed and holding the Idiot Ball. | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_79f6799d | type |
Political Cartoons | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_79f6799d | comment |
In the Stan Kelly Political Cartoons: The Statue of Liberty crying. Kelly being an avid fan of Star Trek: The Original Series, the kind who hates J. J. Abrams with a passion. invoked Kelly's massive case of professional envy towards the late Charles Schulz, the creator of Peanuts, consistently describing him as an "overrated, talentless hack" and always depicting him as burning in Fire and Brimstone Hell. | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_7a143509 | type |
Shell-Shocked Veteran | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_7a143509 | comment |
Shell-Shocked Veteran: "George W. Bush Debuts New Paintings Of Dogs, Friends, Ghost of Iraqi Child That Follows Him Everywhere". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_7a1856ba | type |
I Reject Your Reality | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_7a1856ba | comment |
I Reject Your Reality: In the article "Study: Vaccines Don't Cause Autism, Even in High-Risk Kids," a study reports that vaccines are not linked to autism, even in high-risk children, and the article asks some people what they think about the study. A woman named Rosemary Woods says to let her know when there's a study that shows what she knows in her heart. | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_7a265daa | type |
Eagleland | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_7a265daa | comment |
Eagleland: Both types at once, in "American Public Actually Kind Of Endearing In Some Ways". Type 2: "Has Obama Failed To Reduce Hostility Toward Obnoxious Americans Abroad?" | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_7a3dd888 | type |
Real Men Wear Pink | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_7a3dd888 | comment |
Real Men Wear Pink: "New Texas-Style Yogurt To Feed Man-Size Hunger For Yogurt". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_7a5f720f | type |
Sturgeon's Law | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_7a5f720f | comment |
Sturgeon's Law: "Internet Scam Alert: Most 'Kickstarter' Projects Just Useless Crap". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_7bb1296b | type |
"Rashomon"-Style | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_7bb1296b | comment |
"Rashomon"-Style: Point/Counterpoint, particularly "European Men Are So Much More Romantic Than American Men vs. American Women Studying In Europe Are Unbelievably Easy". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_7bb1296b | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_7cd98af5 | type |
Potty Failure | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_7cd98af5 | comment |
Potty Failure: The Capricorn of this horoscope list. | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_7d34f23a | type |
Reckless Gun Usage | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_7d34f23a | comment |
Reckless Gun Usage: "8-Year-Old Accidentally Exercises Second Amendment Rights". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_7d89315b | type |
"The Reason You Suck" Speech | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_7d89315b | comment |
"The Reason You Suck" Speech: "New Study Finds It Is Impossible To Lose Weight, No One Has Ever Done It, And Those Who Are Trying Should Give Up". "Going-Out-Of-Business Sign Thanks Neighborhood For 3 Months Of No Support Whatsoever". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_7de3aec2 | type |
What Does She See in Him? | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_7de3aec2 | comment |
What Does She See in Him?: "Relationship Experts Still No Closer To Discovering What Scarlett Johansson Sees In Colin Jost". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_7e6c0522 | type |
Off with His Head! | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_7e6c0522 | comment |
Off with His Head!: "White House Jester Beheaded For Making Fun Of Soaring National Debt". "Ohio Replaces Lethal Injection With Humane New Head-Ripping-Off Machine". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_7eaf99d | type |
Malevolent Architecture | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_7eaf99d | comment |
Malevolent Architecture: "Video-Game Characters Denounce Randomly-Placed Swinging Blades". "'Not Quite Perfect' McDonald's Opens In Illinois Outlet Mall". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_7eaf99d | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_7ef08424 | type |
Quantum Mechanics Can Do Anything | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_7ef08424 | comment |
Quantum Mechanics Can Do Anything: "Sci-fi Writer Attributes Everything Mysterious To 'Quantum Flux'". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_7ef08424 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_7f3e75b6 | type |
Look on My Works, Ye Mighty, and Despair | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_7f3e75b6 | comment |
Look on My Works, Ye Mighty, and Despair: "New Chuck E. Cheese Restaurant Forged In Iron And Blood". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_7f3e75b6 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_7f8fd503 | type |
Lonely at the Top | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_7f8fd503 | comment |
Lonely at the Top: "Rich Guy Feeling Left Out Of Recession". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_7f8fd503 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_80133ca4 | type |
Trial Balloon Question | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_80133ca4 | comment |
Trial Balloon Question: "NASA Curious How Folks Would Feel If They Hypothetically Already Launched A Manned Mars Mission That Didn’t Go So Hot". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_80133ca4 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_80d0d980 | type |
The Generic Guy | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_80d0d980 | comment |
The Generic Guy: "Tim Duncan Announces Shoe Deal With Florsheim". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_80d0d980 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_82f40e8a | type |
Obsessive Spokesperson | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_82f40e8a | comment |
Obsessive Spokesperson: Parodied in an article introducing a violent McDonald's mascot, "The Hammurderer." The article mentions another (fictional) recalled character, "Shakes McJunkie," who was so addicted to McDonald's shakes that he committed robberies just to get money for shakes. This mascot was apparently retooled into "The Machead" who used "panhandling and gay prostitution" to fund his burger addiction. | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_82f40e8a | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_830343d8 | type |
We Will Use WikiWords in the Future | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_830343d8 | comment |
We Will Use WikiWords in the Future: Future News 2137 has the anchors and interviewees using words like "Frustrage" and "Criticalism". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_830343d8 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_83444b89 | type |
MST | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_83444b89 | comment |
MST: "Guy In Audience Shouts Out Perfect Thing". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_83f18d93 | type |
DontGoIntoTheWoods | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_83f18d93 | comment |
Don't Go Into the Woods: "Report: Leading Cause Of Death Still Venturing Beyond The Pines". Disregarding this trope and venturing into the forest — whether by losing your way on a foggy night, looking for a shortcut despite repeated warnings not to, or just waking up in the middle of the night and heading straight for the forest — turns out to be the leading cause of death among Americans. | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_8409a385 | type |
Exactly What It Says on the Tin | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8409a385 | comment |
Exactly What It Says on the Tin: 74 normal photos and two kinda weird ones is a collection of 74 normal photos and two kinda weird ones offered without comment. | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_848bec3d | type |
Wishing for More Wishes | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_848bec3d | comment |
Wishing for More Wishes: "Child Bankrupts Make-A-Wish Foundation with Wish for Unlimited Wishes". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_848bec3d | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_851dda8f | type |
Humanoid Abomination | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_851dda8f | comment |
Humanoid Abomination: "Neverland Ranch Investigators Discover Corpse of Real Michael Jackson". Dick Cheney, Ted Cruz, and especially Steve Bannon are all frequently depicted this way. | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_85557b38 | type |
Reality Is Unrealistic | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_85557b38 | comment |
Reality Is Unrealistic: "Muscleman Put In Charge Of World's Fifth-Largest Economy" is a perfectly accurate depiction of fact, just with an unusual tone. | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_85bcc5a8 | type |
Lampshaded Double Entendre | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_85bcc5a8 | comment |
Lampshaded Double Entendre: "Peyton Manning's Wife Tired Of His Constant 'Audibles' At The 'Line Of Scrimmage'". | |
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1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_85bcc5a8 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_863fac26 | type |
Jerk Jock | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_863fac26 | comment |
Jerk Jock: "Second-Most Popular Kid In School Assumes Power Following Death Of Star Quarterback". | |
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1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_863fac26 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_86408bad | type |
First Rule of the Yard | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_86408bad | comment |
First Rule of the Yard: "Biggest Guy In Prison Tired Of Every New Inmate Beating Shit Out Of Him On Their First Day". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_86408bad | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8774fb47 | type |
Eldritch Abomination | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8774fb47 | comment |
Eldritch Abomination: "After Obama Victory, Shrieking White-Hot Sphere Of Pure Rage Early GOP Front-Runner For 2016". This has been a Running Gag about the baby born to Prince William and Kate Middleton. And, of course, God. It's actually quite a good example of what an Eldritch Abomination might look like (we're probably not seeing its full incomprehensibility, doubtful a human-built camera can pick that up) and do to someone if it decides to directly show itself. Assuming, of course, that isn't just a tiny EXTENSION of the divine being. "Swiss Guard Charge Writhing Mass Of Black Tentacles Devouring Pope Francis". The Director of the Theseus Protocol apparently causes the temperature to drop 25 degrees just by being present, may be able to cause storms at will, and when people make eye contact with them, he causes "a sudden veil of blackness to descend upon them paralyzing their bodies and causing them to collapse to the floor in a fit of wide-eyed tremoring." He also appears to lead an army from another dimension, and wants to destroy this physical universe to birth a powerful god known as the "Many-Instanced One." "World-Eating Leviathan Awoken From 500-Million-Year Slumber In Martian Underground Lake After Feeling Sonar Disturbance". | |
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Trans Equals Gay | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_87b3d1fd | comment |
Trans Equals Gay: "Conservatives: Sex Change Only Barrier Between Gays/Marriage". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_87b3d1fd | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_87bb6874 | type |
Villain with Good Publicity | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_87bb6874 | comment |
Villain with Good Publicity: "PR Firm Kills Innocent Child". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_87bb6874 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_87bb6874 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_87bb6874 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_884e513b | type |
Medium Awareness | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_884e513b | comment |
Medium Awareness: "Ominous Music Heard Throughout U.S. Sends Nation Into Panic". "Breaking News: Concentric Circles Emanating From Glowing Red Dot". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_884e513b | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_884e513b | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_884e513b | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_88fa35e0 | type |
Walking Techbane | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_88fa35e0 | comment |
Walking Techbane: "My Computer Totally Hates Me! vs. God, Do I Hate That Bitch". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_88fa35e0 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_88fa35e0 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_88fa35e0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_89204ffb | type |
Shrug of God | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_89204ffb | comment |
Shrug of God: In-universe and literal example with "God Wonders What Happens To Humans After They Die". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_89204ffb | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_89204ffb | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_89204ffb | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8a5f1611 | type |
Overly Stereotypical Disguise | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8a5f1611 | comment |
Overly Stereotypical Disguise: "Reporter Goes Undercover In Chinatown By Wearing Silk Robe" sees the undercover reporter putting on Yellow Face, a conical straw hat, fake buck teeth, and speaking in broken English in the belief that it will help him blend in with the population of Chinatown and allow him to infiltrate a counterfeit ring. Much to his genuine confusion, people refuse to speak to him and multiple store owners tell him to leave, in either English or Cantonese. | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8a5f1611 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_8a5f1611 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8a7b6187 | type |
Gravity Is Only a Theory | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8a7b6187 | comment |
Gravity Is Only a Theory: The article "Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New 'Intelligent Falling' Theory", where fundamentalist Christians are no longer content to get equal time with biology to preach theology in biology class. They now also want equal time in the physics class, demanding that the theories of Newton and Einstein step back in favor of the theory that the universe is held together by Jesus' love. | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8a7b6187 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_8a7b6187 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8a888e34 | type |
Exploding Barrels | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8a888e34 | comment |
Exploding Barrels: "Video Game Henchmen Plan Meetup Around Explosive Barrels". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8a888e34 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8a888e34 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_8a888e34 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8ac90da4 | type |
Retail Riot | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8ac90da4 | comment |
Retail Riot: "42 Million Dead In Bloodiest Black Friday Weekend On Record". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8ac90da4 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8ac90da4 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_8ac90da4 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8ae880f7 | type |
Deconstruction | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8ae880f7 | comment |
Deconstruction: "Ultra-Realistic Modern Warfare Game Features Awaiting Orders, Repairing Trucks". Several articles are deconstructions, often by having something frequently portrayed in media happen to real people and showing what it would really be like, such as "Romantic-Comedy Behavior Gets Real-Life Man Arrested". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8ae880f7 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8ae880f7 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_8ae880f7 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8af45dbd | type |
Wild Teen Party | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8af45dbd | comment |
Wild Teen Party: "Congress Lowers Drinking Age To 17 Just For Jenny's Party". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8af45dbd | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8af45dbd | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_8af45dbd | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8b51de71 | type |
There Is No Kill Like Overkill | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8b51de71 | comment |
There Is No Kill Like Over Kill: "NYPD Apologizes For Accidental Shooting-Clubbing-Stabbing-Firebombing-Choking-Impaling-Beheading-Electrocution-Lethal injection death". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8b51de71 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8b51de71 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_8b51de71 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8becc5c5 | type |
Existential Horror | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8becc5c5 | comment |
Existential Horror: "Scientists Teach Gorilla it Will Die Someday", as well as "Existentialist Firefighter Delays 3 Deaths". And those are just the really obvious ones. | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8becc5c5 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8becc5c5 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_8becc5c5 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8c8bd091 | type |
Fetus Terrible | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8c8bd091 | comment |
Fetus Terrible: Kate Middleton's baby looks to be one in such articles as "Kate Middleton: Cut This Monster Out of Me" and "Royal Family Releases Kate Middleton Ultrasound Image". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8c8bd091 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8c8bd091 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_8c8bd091 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8cf6aa | type |
Literal Metaphor | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8cf6aa | comment |
Literal Metaphor: A good deal of the horoscopes. | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8cf6aa | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8cf6aa | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_8cf6aa | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8d23f3a7 | type |
Timey-Wimey Ball | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8d23f3a7 | comment |
Timey-Wimey Ball: "Historical Archives: Civil War Pre-Enactors Have Stage'd Battle Of Bull Run". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8d23f3a7 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8d23f3a7 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_8d23f3a7 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8d6c8737 | type |
Insurmountable Waist-Height Fence | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8d6c8737 | comment |
Insurmountable Waist-Height Fence: "Video Game Character Stares Impotently At Forbidden Realm Beyond Impassable Waist-High Bush". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8d6c8737 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_8d6c8737 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8dd788d2 | type |
Direct to Video | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8dd788d2 | comment |
Direct to Video: In-Universe, "Land Before Time VI Released Straight To Landfill". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8dd788d2 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8dd788d2 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_8dd788d2 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8e3980c7 | type |
Mistaken Nationality | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8e3980c7 | comment |
Mistaken Nationality: Overlapping with Spexico in "Restaurant Turns Out To Be Spanish, Not Mexican". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8e3980c7 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8e3980c7 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_8e3980c7 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8e69fee0 | type |
Double-Blind What-If | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8e69fee0 | comment |
Double-Blind What-If: Parodied in "Alternate Universe Sci-Fi Channel Show Asks What Would Happen If Germany Lost War". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8e69fee0 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8e69fee0 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_8e69fee0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8f23f7e5 | type |
Horrorscope | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8f23f7e5 | comment |
Horrorscope: The Onion's faux horoscopes are often blackly comedic in nature. Horoscope for Scorpio: 'Your week will be so varied, interesting, and surprising that eventually the coroner will just give up, shrug, and write "heart failure" in the spot marked "Cause of Death".' | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8f23f7e5 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_8f23f7e5 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8f6ca47 | type |
Shaving Is Science | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8f6ca47 | comment |
Shaving Is Science: "Haggar Physicists Develop 'Quantum Slacks'". "Brookstone Scientists 10 Years Away from Towel Alarm Clock". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_8f6ca47 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_8f6ca47 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_90965cc7 | type |
Hive Mind | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_90965cc7 | comment |
Hive Mind: "Residents of Indiana Join Together To Form Collective Consciousness". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_90965cc7 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_90965cc7 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_90965cc7 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_90d44f44 | type |
Karmic Death | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_90d44f44 | comment |
Karmic Death: "EPA Administrator Proves Carbon Emissions Not Harmful By Inhaling Directly From Truck's Tailpipe". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_90d44f44 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_90d44f44 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_90d44f44 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_913089c2 | type |
Screwed by the Network | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_913089c2 | comment |
Screwed by the Network: In-universe. On the season finale of the show on IFC, The Cressbeckler Stance was canned so the network could introduce a new program about motorcycles in the spirit of the new American Dream. | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_913089c2 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_913089c2 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_913089c2 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_9141fba3 | type |
Fountain of Youth | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_9141fba3 | comment |
Fountain of Youth: "Experimental Anti-Aging Treatment Still Has Few Kinks, Report Infant Researchers". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_9141fba3 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_9141fba3 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_9141fba3 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_91cecc1e | type |
Exaggerated Trope | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_91cecc1e | comment |
Exaggerated Trope: Many of the articles get their humor from taking a regular trope and cranking it up full blast. | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_91cecc1e | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_91cecc1e | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_91cecc1e | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_91df9d19 | type |
Military Coup | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_91df9d19 | comment |
Military Coup: "U.S. Government Stages Fake Coup To Wipe Out National Debt". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_91df9d19 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_91df9d19 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_91df9d19 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_91e7082a | type |
Remarried to the Mistress | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_91e7082a | comment |
Remarried to the Mistress: The premise of the "New Mommy A Lot Prettier" article. More disturbingly, the children start to prefer her over their own mother, in spite of them being kicked out of their large home to go live with their mother in a small apartment, their father using gifts to help win them over, and the implication that both him and their stepmother don't actually parent either child as evident from them having no set bedtime and the lack of concern about the son's asthma medication. | |
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1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_91e7082a | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_928ca2cc | type |
You Have Outlived Your Usefulness | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_928ca2cc | comment |
You Have Outlived Your Usefulness: "All Of Area Man's Hard Work Finally Pays Off For Employer" ends with the following depressing sentence. | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_928ca2cc | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_928ca2cc | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_92cca75b | type |
Ret-Gone | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_92cca75b | comment |
Ret-Gone: "Report: Decision To Read This Headline Has Erased Future Daughter 'Emily' In All Possible Timelines". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_92cca75b | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_92cca75b | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_92cca75b | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_93168fb1 | type |
It's Quiet… Too Quiet | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_93168fb1 | comment |
It's Quiet… Too Quiet: "Tea Party Quiet... Too Quiet". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_93168fb1 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_93168fb1 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_93168fb1 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_94680696 | type |
Shaped Like Itself | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_94680696 | comment |
Shaped Like Itself: "Report: Turkey Sandwiches An Excellent Source Of Turkey Sandwiches". "Investigators Determine Air France Disaster Caused By Plane Crash". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_94680696 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_94680696 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_94680696 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_95b7c400 | type |
Faux Affably Evil | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_95b7c400 | comment |
Faux Affably Evil: "So, What's It Going To Be?" by Bashar al-Assad is written in such a tone. | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_95b7c400 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_95b7c400 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_95b7c400 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_95cb7004 | type |
Only Sane Employee | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_95cb7004 | comment |
Only Sane Employee: "Developmentally Disabled Burger King Employee Only Competent Worker". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_95cb7004 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_95cb7004 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_95cb7004 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_9712e10 | type |
Sword of Plot Advancement | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_9712e10 | comment |
Sword of Plot Advancement: "Congress Sets Sail In Search Of Fabled Sword Of Bipartisanship". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_9712e10 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_9712e10 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_9712e10 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_973d220f | type |
Never My Fault | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_973d220f | comment |
Never My Fault: "Shitty Human Being Blames Decreased Daylight This Time". Part of Jean Teasdale's Cloud Cuckoolander act is her never accepting responsibility or blame for her faults, whether it's getting firednote (she got caught using eBay — on the boss's computer, no less — and remains convinced that the boss just hated her) or her poor sense of humornote (a friend declines to use Jean's jokes in a stand-up act because they're pithy and toothless, but Jean thinks the friend was threatened by the idea of a superior comic). When a local magazine calls her article out for being garbage, she insists that they don't know what they're talking about — while doing everything that they said makes her articles garbage. "Girlfriend Dumped After Valentine Candy Related Weight Gain". After pressuring his girlfriend to eat the candy he gave her (which she then ate over the course of a week as they were snowed in and left unable to do her usual errands, like the gym), a boyfriend dumps the slim girl via email for putting on somewhere between 3-5 pounds. The infamous article "Bully Can't Believe Classmate Took 4 Straight Years of Being Told to Kill Herself to Heart" has the girl still badmouthing her dead classmate/victim and actually trying to trivialize the tragedy via this and "Just Joking" Justification. Worse is how even years after the fact is that it's plausible that the bully's empathy (or likely lack thereof, if going by the article) still won't truly allow her to accept responsibility for what she did or make any real amends (or stop her from doing it to someone else). | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_973d220f | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_973d220f | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_979ca348 | type |
Repurposed Pop Song | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_979ca348 | comment |
Repurposed Pop Song: "Song About Heroin Used To Advertise Bank". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_979ca348 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_979ca348 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_979ca348 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_97fa0a10 | type |
Mass "Oh, Crap!" | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_97fa0a10 | comment |
Mass "Oh, Crap!": "Nationals Book It After Foul Ball Accidentally Smashes Capitol Rotunda". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_97fa0a10 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_97fa0a10 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_97fa0a10 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_9820c37a | type |
Screw Politeness, I'm a Senior! | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_9820c37a | comment |
Screw Politeness, I'm a Senior!: Deconstructed in "114-Year-Old Attributes Longevity to Sheer Random Chance". While the article keeps using words like 'feisty', 'bouncy', 'chipper', and 'peppy' to paint Mrs. McCreeley's attitude in a more positive light, Hazel herself is extremely bitter and nihilistic about her continued existence, including the decline of her body and the many children she's outlived, and can only express herself properly during the brief moments of lucidity her brain allows; the mayor of Milford goes on record as wishing she'd just hurry up and die, and her own hope for her 115th birthday is "to be rotting in a coffin". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_9820c37a | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_9820c37a | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_9820c37a | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_98a19d7f | type |
Money, Dear Boy | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_98a19d7f | comment |
Money, Dear Boy: In-Universe, "Nobel Fever Grips Research Community As Prize Swells To $190 Million". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_98a19d7f | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_98a19d7f | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_98a19d7f | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_98a63dc6 | type |
Time Abyss | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_98a63dc6 | comment |
Time Abyss: T. Herman Zweibel was born in the 1800s, and despite being incredibly old and afflicted with an innumerable amount of maladies, is somehow still hanging in there. Joad Cressbeckler, a grizzled, ancient ex-gold miner who, after running as a third-party presidential candidate in 2008, got his own ONN show, The Cressbeckler Stance. | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_98a63dc6 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_98a63dc6 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_98a63dc6 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_99a7aa94 | type |
Seven Deadly Sins | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_99a7aa94 | comment |
Seven Deadly Sins: "All Seven Deadly Sins Committed At Church Bake Sale". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_99a7aa94 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_99a7aa94 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_99a7aa94 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_99ddfcec | type |
Unwitting Instigator of Doom | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_99ddfcec | comment |
Unwitting Instigator of Doom: According to "Recent Rise In International Disputes Traced Back To Cute U.N. Tour Guide", many recent political conflicts began because various international delegates suddenly found themselves smitten with an attractive U.N. tour guide passing by, and became too Distracted by the Sexy to do their jobs properly. | |
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1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_99ddfcec | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_9a8c7632 | type |
Dumb Is Good | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_9a8c7632 | comment |
Dumb Is Good: "Developmentally Disabled Burger King Employee Only Competent Worker". | |
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1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_9a8c7632 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_9af42bed | type |
Appeal to Tradition | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_9af42bed | comment |
Appeal to Tradition: "Should The Government Stop Dumping Money Into A Giant Hole?" has this as a major focus: the reporters focus only on the Money Hole's status as a long tradition and a part of American identity (with a side note of "to stop now would be an insult to everyone"). | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_9af42bed | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_9af977f4 | type |
Second-Person Narration | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_9af977f4 | comment |
Second-Person Narration: The paper's preferred method to point out This Loser Is You, such as "Everyone Still Remembers Time You Threw Up In 5th Grade". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_9af977f4 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_9af977f4 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_9c224098 | type |
Deliberately Bad Example | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_9c224098 | comment |
Deliberately Bad Example: "Developmentally Disabled Burger King Employee Only Competent Worker" has the developmentally disabled employee shine because all his coworkers are too lazy to do their jobs properly. | |
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1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_9c224098 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_9c73b5b2 | type |
Let Them Die Happy | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_9c73b5b2 | comment |
Let Them Die Happy: "Family Tells Ailing Mandela Racism Over". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_9c73b5b2 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_9c73b5b2 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_9c8701b5 | type |
A Day in the Limelight | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_9c8701b5 | comment |
A Day in the Limelight: "Is Pundit Duncan Birch A Worthless Idiot?" | |
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1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_9c8701b5 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_9cdef1ef | type |
Lovable Sex Maniac | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_9cdef1ef | comment |
Lovable Sex Maniac: Joe Biden was portrayed as one until 2020. | |
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1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_9cdef1ef | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_9ce7c264 | type |
Future Badass | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_9ce7c264 | comment |
Future Badass: "Person Who Will One Day Become Warlord-Ruler Of What Was Once Nebraska Born In Omaha Hospital". | |
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1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_9ce7c264 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_9d0cfdb9 | type |
Sex Is Evil, and I Am Horny | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_9d0cfdb9 | comment |
Sex Is Evil, and I Am Horny: One article commented on the scandal of the Catholic Church covering up for pedophile priests (by moving them around instead of ousting and reporting them, thus covering their tracks and giving them access to new victims) by having the Pope announce that God will forgive the children for their crime of leading his priests into temptation. | |
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1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_9d0cfdb9 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_9d67ad5c | type |
Nuclear Mutant | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_9d67ad5c | comment |
Nuclear Mutant: "We Must Expand Our Nuclear Power Program If We're To Realize Our Dream Of Superhero Mutants". | |
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1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_9d67ad5c | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_9d6f3607 | type |
Fag Hag | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_9d6f3607 | comment |
Fag Hag: "Gay Man, Unattractive Woman Form Tight Bond". | |
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1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_9d6f3607 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_9dab0a6e | type |
Continuity Nod | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_9dab0a6e | comment |
Continuity Nod: Joad Cressbeckler, first introduced as an "even more grizzled and ornery" alternative to John McCain during the "War For The White House", now has his own series (The Cressbeckler Stance) parodying FOX News' primetime commentary shows. Several stories about an "Area Man" visiting restaurants are about the same man (Don Turnbee of Erie, PA) with the same photo model. Another couple of stories are about a veterinary assistant with some odd quirks; more recently, the same idiot showed up in two stories- the first one essentially said "this idiot shouldn't be allowed to vote", while the second one takes a potshot at Donald Trump's supporters. One occurred in the same issue; a Jim Anchower column has him helping a driver who then gives him her number, at which point presumably an ex of her's calls him up. It's implied to be fellow columnist Smoove B, and this column has his side of the story (he doesn't say Anchower's name, but the appearance is a dead giveaway). While fact checking the third presidential debate, they claim to have already fact-checked Donald Trump's quote about the NAFTA. Indeed, they previously had, while fact checking the first debate. In The Onion's Election Glossary, 8 of the definitions are lifted straight from The Onion Book of Known Knowledge. | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_9dab0a6e | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_9dd2af4a | type |
Inspirationally Disadvantaged | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_9dd2af4a | comment |
Inspirationally Disadvantaged: "Coming up next: Serial killer with Down Syndrome commits fifth inspirational murder". "World Now Down To 5 Stories That Are Inspirational" and the photo caption "Double Amputee Proves He Is Capable Of Anything" are both inspired by the 2013 arrest of Real Life double amputee Olympic-level sprinter Oscar Pistorius for the premeditated murder of his girlfriend. Downplayed in "Developmentally Disabled Burger King Employee Only Competent Worker", in which the developmentally disabled employee stands out by doing the simple things his (supposedly) smarter co-workers are supposed to be doing. Deconstructed in "Developmentally Disabled Senator Wants To Be Treated Like Every Other Lawmaker". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_9dd2af4a | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_9dd2af4a | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_9de2bf95 | type |
Filler | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_9de2bf95 | comment |
Filler: New Census Study Finds That 40% Of U.S. Population Is Filler. | |
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1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_9de2bf95 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_9e08b900 | type |
Most Definitely Not a Villain | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_9e08b900 | comment |
Most Definitely Not a Villain: "Cindy McCain Claims She's 'Just Like Any Other Female Human'": | |
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1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_9e08b900 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_9e74f33 | type |
Flock of Wolves | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_9e74f33 | comment |
Flock of Wolves: "Klan Rally 70 Percent Undercover Reporters". | |
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1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_9e74f33 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_9e9e8623 | type |
It Is Beyond Saving | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_9e9e8623 | comment |
It Is Beyond Saving: "FDA Commissioner: I Give Up On You Pigs". | |
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1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_9e9e8623 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_9ebd9c33 | type |
UnPerson | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_9ebd9c33 | comment |
Un-person: "White House Denies Existence Of Karl Rove" | |
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1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_9ebd9c33 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_9f510a11 | type |
GetALoadOfThatSquare | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_9f510a11 | comment |
Get a Load of That Square: "Area Father Must Have Read Some Drug-Slang Brochure Or Something". | |
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1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_9f510a11 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_9fc60cc5 | type |
Glurge | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_9fc60cc5 | comment |
Glurge: In-Universe, "Nation Afraid To Admit 9-Year-Old Disabled Poet Really Bad". | |
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1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_9fc60cc5 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_a0412c52 | type |
Gun Nut | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_a0412c52 | comment |
Gun Nut: "NRA Praised For Decreasing Stigma Of Mentally Ill Acquiring Firearms". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_a0412c52 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_a0412c52 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_a0947d78 | type |
Token Trio | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_a0947d78 | comment |
Token Trio: Can be observed in the peer review panel in this article. | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_a0947d78 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_a0947d78 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_a188ac4b | type |
Overly Long Gag | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_a188ac4b | comment |
Overly Long Gag: "'The Hobbit' To Feature 53-Minute-Long Scene Of Bilbo Baggins Trying To Figure Out What To Pack". "Opium-Inspired Ad Executive Composes Epic Tums Jingle". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_a188ac4b | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_a188ac4b | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_a18d407b | type |
Samus Is a Girl | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_a18d407b | comment |
Samus Is a Girl: "Hotshot Test Pilot Removes Helmet, Reveals Female Status". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_a18d407b | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_a18d407b | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_a1fedb67 | type |
Parental Obliviousness | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_a1fedb67 | comment |
Parental Obliviousness: "I Hope My Baby Doesn't Come Out All Fucked-Up And Shit". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_a1fedb67 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_a1fedb67 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_a220d528 | type |
What Could Possibly Go Wrong? | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_a220d528 | comment |
What Could Possibly Go Wrong?: "Report: 10 Million Killed Annually By Stepping Out Of Comfort Zones". | |
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1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_a220d528 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_a246aed6 | type |
Sapient Cetaceans | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_a246aed6 | comment |
Sapient Cetaceans: Parodied this with the article "Dolphins Evolve Opposable Thumbs: 'Oh, Shit,' Says Humanity". The article is then filled with stories of the Dolphins' incredibly rapid technology development, and marine biologists committing suicide or preparing to serve the Dolphin overlords. | |
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1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_a246aed6 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_a2b38d3b | type |
Eye Scream | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_a2b38d3b | comment |
Eye Scream: "Report: It A Miracle Nothing Has Punctured Your Eye Yet". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_a2b38d3b | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_a2b38d3b | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_a2f3e380 | type |
World of Weirdness | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_a2f3e380 | comment |
World of Weirdness: The entire body of work could be seen as a serious news source from a crazy alternate world. | |
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1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_a2f3e380 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_a2ff4e6f | type |
Single Tear | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_a2ff4e6f | comment |
Single Tear: Kelly invariably depicts the Statue of Liberty as shedding one, whether out of sorrow or joy. | |
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1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_a2ff4e6f | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_a3a7c41 | type |
Black Sheep | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_a3a7c41 | comment |
Black Sheep: "Everyone In Family Claims To Be The Black Sheep". In the last quote, the siblings' mother reassures them that this isn't the case, before mentioning that she felt that way among her siblings. | |
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1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_a3a7c41 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_a43a691b | type |
Finishing Move | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_a43a691b | comment |
Finishing Move: "NHL To Allow Finishing Moves In Fights This Season", with an obligatory Shout-Out to Mortal Kombat. | |
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1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_a43a691b | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_a4c37cbe | type |
Mood Whiplash | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_a4c37cbe | comment |
Mood Whiplash: "New Bipartisan Law Would Make Dog Neckerchiefs Mandatory". Everyone gushes about how cute they all are, and then you get to paragraph 15: "Person Who Will One Day Become Warlord-Ruler Of What Was Once Nebraska Born In Omaha Hospital" swings wildly between "D'awww, look at his cute widdle fingers" and "...which he will form into an iron fist and crush all who dare to oppose him". "U.S. Army Now Just Chasing Single Remaining ISIS Soldier Around Ruins Of Syrian Village" portrays the last remaining ISIS soldier as a whacky Looney Tunes-esque prankster, but ends with a sobering reminder of how many ISIS fighters are actually still at large. | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_a4c37cbe | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_a4d189fc | type |
Marrying the Mark | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_a4d189fc | comment |
Marrying the Mark: Parodied in "Housewife Charged In Sex-For-Security Scam", where a woman marries a man in order to obtain food, lodging, and financial security in exchange for occasional sex for over 19 years. | |
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1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_a4d189fc | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_a4d8473b | type |
Stealth Sequel | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_a4d8473b | comment |
Stealth Sequel: "Francis Ford Coppola Reveals Every 'Godfather' Film Took Place In Same Narrative World". | |
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1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_a4d8473b | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_a567f7f2 | type |
I Want My Jet Pack | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_a567f7f2 | comment |
I Want My Jetpack: "I Thought We'd Have Flying Slaves By Now". | |
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1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_a567f7f2 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_a60e3252 | type |
Rule of Funny | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_a60e3252 | comment |
The world as a whole. In The Know's world has ghouls, robot overlords, baby skulls as jewelry... Rule of Funny produces some hilariously-horrific things. | |
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1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_a60e3252 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_a70223 | type |
Karma Houdini | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_a70223 | comment |
Karma Houdini: "Epic Saga Of Employee's Ineptitude Passed Down Through Generations Of Coworkers" shows how the employee in question still has his job despite his many mistakes. Lampshaded with the following quote: "College Basketball Star Heroically Overcomes Tragic Rape He Committed". The basketball star in question doesn't suffer any consequences for drunkenly raping a girl, and everyone involved passes it off as a heroic accomplishment. In "Wealthy Teen Nearly Experiences Consequence", the teen in question evades even the slap on the wrist proposed for him. | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_a70223 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_a76de48b | type |
Troubled Production | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_a76de48b | comment |
Troubled Production: In-universe with "Terry Gilliam Barbecue Plagued By Production Delays". | |
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1.0 | |
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| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_a76de48b | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_a796d2a6 | type |
Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_a796d2a6 | comment |
Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy: "Winchester Unveils New 9MM Stray Bullet Guaranteed To Hit Innocent Bystanders". | |
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1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_a796d2a6 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_a849183f | type |
Toilet Seat Divorce | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_a849183f | comment |
Toilet Seat Divorce: Parodied in the Libra of this set of horoscopes. | |
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1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_a849183f | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_a8559a9f | type |
RealLife | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_a8559a9f | comment |
Real Life example: An article was used for the 2005 English Language and Composition Advanced Placement exam... meaning that there was actually something to analyze in that article. | |
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1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_a8559a9f | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_a86069f | type |
Alternate History | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_a86069f | comment |
Alternate History: A meta-example, in that the alternate history story is itself written in an alternate history universe (compare The Man in the High Castle, one of the oldest AH novels, which uses a similar premise with the in-story story The Grasshopper Lies Heavy) "Alternate-Universe Sci-Fi Channel Show Asks What Would Happen If Germany Lost War". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_a86069f | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_a9c0f93f | type |
Fun-Hating Confiscating Adult | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_a9c0f93f | comment |
Fun-Hating Confiscating Adult: One column has Senator Tom DeLay losing his temper with a group of teenagers playing frisbee on the Capitol lawn. Said frisbee flies through the window and disrupts an important meeting. DeLay tells the teenagers that he's keeping the frisbee and that they can't do anything about this because he is very politically powerful. When he turns away from the window, a hacky sack flies into the room and hits him on the head. DeLay tells the teenagers that the joke's on them because he won't return their hacky sack either. | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_a9c0f93f | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_a9dc0c29 | type |
The Moral Substitute | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_a9dc0c29 | comment |
The Moral Substitute: This article explains that a West Virginia professor bans unreliable sources for papers. The first of them is The Onion, explaining that this is not news, but literally a parody. Then she explains the second source: | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_a9dc5293 | type |
Development Hell | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_a9dc5293 | comment |
Development Hell: In-Universe, "Script Has Been Floating Around Hollywood For 75 Years". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_aaa1fa9 | type |
Captain Space, Defender of Earth! | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_aaa1fa9 | comment |
Captain Space, Defender of Earth!: Crash Comet, Space Commander from the Year 2000, the recurring enemy of Evil Overlord columnist Gorzo the Mighty. | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_aabe2fb | type |
Deliberate Values Dissonance | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_aabe2fb | comment |
Deliberate Values Dissonance "Woman In Burqa Condemns Woman In Chador." Not only does the woman in the burqa have values that would seem astonishingly sexist from a Western perspective, but so does the woman in the chador, despite the former woman despising her for being subversive. | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_aabe2fb | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_aaece264 | type |
Rousing Speech | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_aaece264 | comment |
Rousing Speech: Attempted in "Scrappy Band Of Lovable Misfits No Match For Rich Kids", but, like all the other tactics the kids use to save their camp, it fails. | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_aaece264 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_aaff69d0 | type |
Unexpected Successor | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_aaff69d0 | comment |
Unexpected Successor: "Last Remaining Politician Must Rebuild Entire Government Following Bloodiest Midterm Election In American History". "Secretary Of Interior Takes Presidential Oath Of Office: 'I Still Can't Believe The President, Vice President, Speaker Of The House, President Pro Tem, Sec. Of State, Sec. Of The Treasury, Sec. Of Defense, And Attorney General Were All In That Hot-Air Balloon,' Says New President Sally Jewell" | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_aaff69d0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_ab031997 | type |
Underdogs Never Lose | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_ab031997 | comment |
Underdogs Never Lose: "Scrappy Band Of Lovable Misfits No Match For Rich Kids". | |
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1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_ab031997 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_ab173426 | type |
Ruthless Modern Pirates | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_ab173426 | comment |
Ruthless Modern Pirates: Fake political cartoonist Kelly did a panel about these at the end of October 2013, not long after the release of Captain Phillips... but it presents them in a positive light, labeling them "Today's Swashbucklers" for carrying on the tradition set by Blackbeard, Captain Jack Sparrow, and Captain Morgan, suggesting that all he knows about piracy then and now comes from romanticized fiction and/or Pop-Cultural Osmosis (Sir Henry Morgan is mostly known in the 2000s as the namesake of a brand of rum). | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_ab173426 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_abc60c5d | type |
Harmful to Minors | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_abc60c5d | comment |
Harmful to Minors: "U.S. Children Still Traumatized One Year After Seeing Partially-Exposed Breast On TV". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_abc60c5d | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_ac1e30d8 | type |
Red Scare | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_ac1e30d8 | comment |
Red Scare: "USSR Wins Space Race As U.S. Shuts Down Shuttle Program". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_ac1e30d8 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_ac344349 | type |
Three-Month-Old Newborn | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_ac344349 | comment |
Three-Month-Old Newborn: "Woman on TV Gives Birth to Four-Month-Old Baby". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_ac344349 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_ac344349 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_ac9cac61 | type |
Scare 'Em Straight | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_ac9cac61 | comment |
Scare 'Em Straight: "Driver's Ed Class Finally Gets To See Legendary Safety Film". "Kids In Scared Straight Program Visit Horrifying Cleveland Cavaliers Practice". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_ac9cac61 | featureApplicability |
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The Onion (Website) / int_ac9cac61 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_adfd3165 | type |
For the Evulz | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_adfd3165 | comment |
For the Evulz: "Mosquitoes Don't Even Need To Bite Us, Study Shows". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_adfd3165 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_adfd3165 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_aebae11c | type |
Viewers Are Morons | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_aebae11c | comment |
Viewers Are Morons: "Microsoft Word Now Includes Squiggly Blue Line To Alert Writer When Word Is Too Advanced For Mainstream Audience". "Onion Weather Center: We Dumb It Down The Best We Can For Our Viewers In The Deep South" | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_aebae11c | featureApplicability |
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The Onion (Website) / int_aebae11c | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_af3ea0e3 | type |
Face–Heel Turn | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_af3ea0e3 | comment |
Face–Heel Turn: "Lance Armstrong Admits Drug Use, Plans Return To Cycling As Flamboyant, Fan-Hating Villain". | |
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1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_af3ea0e3 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_af4d6174 | type |
Setting Update | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_af4d6174 | comment |
Setting Update: "Unconventional Director Sets Shakespeare Play In Time, Place Shakespeare Intended". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_af4d6174 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_afc52a86 | type |
Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_afc52a86 | comment |
Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot: "Hurriphoonado Cuts Swath Of Destruction Across Eastern, Western Hemispheres". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_afc52a86 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) | hasFeature |
The Onion (Website) / int_afc52a86 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_afd181c7 | type |
Xtreme Kool Letterz | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_afd181c7 | comment |
Xtreme Kool Letterz: "Alphabet Updated With 15 Exciting New Replacement Letters". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_afd181c7 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_afd181c7 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_afe98316 | type |
Talkative Loon | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_afe98316 | comment |
Talkative Loon: "Raving Lunatic Obviously Took Some Advanced Physics". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_afe98316 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_afe98316 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_aff1ee2e | type |
Small Reference Pools | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_aff1ee2e | comment |
Small Reference Pools: "Area Man's Pop-Culture References Stop At 1988". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_aff1ee2e | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_aff1ee2e | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_aff1ee2e | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_b0fb2427 | type |
Bread and Circuses | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_b0fb2427 | comment |
Bread and Circuses: "48 Syrian Civilians Massacred During Claire Danes' Emmy Award Acceptance Speech": | |
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1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_b0fb2427 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_b10d7e8e | type |
Head-in-the-Sand Management | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_b10d7e8e | comment |
Head-in-the-Sand Management: "Robert Mueller Dreading Returning From 2-Month European Vacation To Start Russia Investigation". "CDC Director Alarmed After Googling 'Covid Cases' For First Time in Weeks". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_b10d7e8e | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_b10d7e8e | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_b1dde8fd | type |
Loophole Abuse | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_b1dde8fd | comment |
Loophole Abuse: "Child Bankrupts Make-A-Wish Foundation with Wish for Unlimited Wishes". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_b1dde8fd | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_b1dde8fd | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_b2ad812d | type |
So What Do We Do Now? | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_b2ad812d | comment |
So What Do We Do Now?: "Voice Inside Cheering Libyan Rebel's Head: 'Oh, Fuck, Now What?'". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_b2ad812d | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_b3860333 | type |
Droste Image | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_b3860333 | comment |
Droste Image: "Area Article Nauseous From Constant Scrolling" features the titular article as the picture. | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_b3860333 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_b427f328 | type |
Hand Puppet | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_b427f328 | comment |
Hand Puppet: "Local Puppet Ignores Repeated Audience Dragon Warnings". | |
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1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_b427f328 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_b47d95be | type |
No OSHA Compliance | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_b47d95be | comment |
No OSHA Compliance: "U.N. Orders Willy Wonka To Submit To Chocolate Factory Inspections". "NASCAR To Discontinue Having Kids Rush Onto Track To Wipe Up Skid Marks During Races". "Video Game Characters Denounce Randomly Placed Swinging Blades". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_b47d95be | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_b48eb5fe | type |
Parody Product Placement | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_b48eb5fe | comment |
Parody Product Placement: "Spider-Man Distracts Dr. Octopus With Delicious Hostess Fruit Pies". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_b48eb5fe | featureApplicability |
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The Onion (Website) / int_b48eb5fe | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_b499dd39 | type |
All Issues Are Political Issues | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_b499dd39 | comment |
All Issues Are Political Issues: In the article "Exhausted Noam Chomsky Just Going To Try And Enjoy The Day For Once", Chomsky tries to have a day off, but everything reminds him of oppression. | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_b499dd39 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_b4eff8a8 | type |
Epic Fail | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_b4eff8a8 | comment |
Epic Fail: "O-SPAN Classic: CIA Accidentally Overthrows Costa Rica". | |
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1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_b4eff8a8 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_b53077b3 | type |
Take That! | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_b53077b3 | comment |
Take That!: Against Rush Limbaugh, with "I Don't Even Want to Be Alive Anymore". The closing months of 2008 saw weekly stories about outgoing President George W. Bush getting increasingly-bizarre and horrendous injuries. "Congress Honors 9/11 First Capitalizers, Recognizes Those Who Rushed To Cash In On Tragedy". Today Now interviews the 5-year-old screenwriter of Fast Five. "New Cheney Memoir Reveals He's Going To Live Full, Satisfied Life Without Ever Feeling Remorse And There's Nothing We Can Do About It". "Victim In Fatal Car Accident Tragically Not Glenn Beck". Against Oprah Winfrey: "I Just Want To Say That I Hated Every Moment Of That Piece-Of-Shit Show". Against Rep. Todd Akin: "I Misspoke—What I Meant To Say Is 'I Am Dumb As Dog Shit And I Am A Terrible Human Being'" In response to the Lance Armstrong doping controversy, the Onion Store is proud to offer the "Cheat to Win" bracelet. Making fun of Chicago's murder rate spikes since 2011: "Hot New 'Murder Craze' Sweeps Chicago". "Chicago's Annual Homicide Drive Off To Most Promising Start In Decades". Towards Facebook: "Mark Zuckerberg Recalls Coming Up With Idea For Facebook After Seeing Dopamine-Addicted Lab Rat Starve To Death". "Mark Zuckerberg Defends Decision To Fly Confederate Flag At Facebook Headquarters". "Creepy Weirdo Still Stalking You On Facebook". From the point of view of Mark Zuckerberg's daughter: "Daddy, I Don't Want To Live In The World Your Website Has Created". Against Ted Lasso: "Critically Acclaimed 'Ted Lasso' Episode Just Stock Photos Of People Hugging Each Other". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_b53077b3 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_b532f68b | type |
Everybody Has Lots of Sex | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_b532f68b | comment |
Everybody Has Lots of Sex: "BYU Students Protest Brandon Davies' Dismissal By Having Sex All Over Campus". "Olympic Village Tour: See Where The Athletes Live, Train And Fuck Each Other's Brains Out" (NSFW). | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_b532f68b | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_b58b4e3c | type |
Too Dumb to Live | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_b58b4e3c | comment |
Too Dumb to Live: "Looking Back On My Life, I Guess My Biggest Regret Is Trying To Fight That Alligator 5 Minutes Ago". "Fun Toy Banned Because of Three Stupid Dead Kids." One boy fires a missile up his nose, another girl breaks the toy to eat the shards, and another boy jumps off his apartment's balcony, thinking the toy will let him fly. | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_b58b4e3c | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_b5c47a93 | type |
A Degree in Useless | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_b5c47a93 | comment |
A Degree in Useless: Inverted in "Company Immediately Calls Job Applicant Upon Seeing 'B.A. In Communications' On Résumé" Played straight in "Juilliard Opens Business School For Students Who Realize Acting Thing Probably A Long Shot". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_b5c47a93 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_b6ae5569 | type |
Transforming Mecha | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_b6ae5569 | comment |
Transforming Mecha: "Kim Jong Il Unfolds Into Giant Robot". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_b6ae5569 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_b6cc7fc0 | type |
Dysfunctional Family | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_b6cc7fc0 | comment |
Dysfunctional Family: Pretty much the whole point of Jean Teasdale's regular column, and strongly implied in Roger Dudek's, whose wife has grown to hate him and his jovial, neglectful stupidity ever since their third child was stillborn. | |
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1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_b6cc7fc0 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_b6db5695 | type |
Political Overcorrectness | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_b6db5695 | comment |
Political Overcorrectness: "Parents Dedicate New College Safe Space In Honor Of Daughter Who Felt Weird In Class Once". "Man Attempts To Assassinate Obama, 'But Not Because He's Black Or Anything'". The video details how the man, despite being an attempted murderer, tries to go out of his way to not have the murder come across as racially motivated — culminating in him settling on shooting Obama with a crossbow with the bolt having the names of great Black historical figures written on it, while wearing a dashiki and kufi and blasting soul music in a nearby car. | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_b6db5695 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_b6de94d1 | type |
Executive Meddling | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_b6de94d1 | comment |
Executive Meddling: In-Universe, "Network Executive Cancels Show After Ruining It In Development". | |
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1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_b6de94d1 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_b707726f | type |
Hypocritical Humor | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_b707726f | comment |
Hypocritical Humor: "Female Scientists Say Domestic Abuse Not Problem, Says Team of Female Researchers Who All Recently Sustained Injuries Due to Various Accidents". "Elmore Leonard, Modern Prose Master, Noted For His Terse Prose Style And For Writing About Things Perfectly And Succinctly With A Remarkable Economy Of Words, Unfortunately And Sadly Expired This Gloomy Tuesday At The Age Of 87 Years Old". "Second-Grade Teacher Overhyping Third Grade" ends with the third-grade teacher criticizing the second-grade teacher for exaggerating how difficult/fun third grade will be, before saying that she has to prepare her students for "the really hard stuff in fourth grade." "Man Wearing Cobra Command Shirt Missed The Whole Point of 'G.I. Joe'" — Rowe's employers complain about him wearing a shirt for the fictitious terrorist organization, while they named their company after the president and greatest general of the Confederate States of America, who rebelled against the U.S. in the American Civil War. A recurring aspect of the humor in the mock political cartoons is that Stan Kelly, their fictional author, will happily switch sides on any given argument again and again based on his myopic focus and whether or not things inconvencience him personally. For instance, he will routinely lambast "today's teens" for their various immoral and lecherous habits in contrast to wholesome, all-American children, and then criticize them just as harshly for being teetotallers instead of honoring the American tradition of drinking like fish, since he's a habitual drunkard and doesn't like it when people do anything differently from him. | |
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Seize Them! | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_b70ea2b9 | comment |
Seize Them!: "Seize Him!", which also includes a bunch of other tropes expected in this scene: the Evil Overlord, Just Between You and Me, You Have No Chance to Survive, Agony Beam, Surrounded by Idiots, etc. | |
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"Where Are They Now?" Epilogue | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_b77808f2 | comment |
"Where Are They Now?" Epilogue: "Huffington Post Completes 63 Million Page 'Where Are They Now' Slideshow Of Every Celebrity Ever". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_b7d2dbed | type |
Tonight, Someone Dies | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_b7d2dbed | comment |
Tonight, Someone Dies: "Disney Trailer Teases Exit Of Major Character In Upcoming Film 'Death At Pooh Corner'". | |
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Five-Token Band | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_b7e74b77 | comment |
Five-Token Band: "Graphic Artist Carefully Assigns Ethnicities To Anthropomorphic Recyclables". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_b8dde2 | type |
Evil Overlord | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_b8dde2 | comment |
Evil Overlord: Gorzo the Mighty, Emperor of the Universe since the 1930s. | |
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Demoted to Extra | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_b8e3f20a | comment |
Demoted to Extra: The regular columnists have slowly disappeared and/or dwindled in appearances since the late 2000s — Herbert Kornfeld was Killed Off for Real (and possibly Gorzo the Mighty as well), while Jim Anchower was last heard from in 2012, being taken to prison. The other regulars (including Jean Teasdale, Dept. Head Rawlings, Smoove B, Roger Dudek, Jackie Harvey, Amber Richardson, Larry Groznic, and T. Herman Zweibel) continue to make sporadic appearances. (Harvey had previously replaced Arch Danielson way back in 1998.) | |
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It Makes Sense in Context | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_ba236071 | comment |
When the print versions need to fill a small space, they put in a small article with nothing but the repeated phrase "Passersby were amazed by the unusually-large amounts of blood." (which also appears in context during "Blood... Blood Everywhere"). In Ad Nauseam, these instances are accompanied by completely off-the-wall "quotes" like "I'm thinking about getting into self-mutilation" or "Congress must be so stoned to come up with all those cool laws." | |
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Sadistic Choice | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_babc974 | comment |
Sadistic Choice: "So, What's It Going To Be?" | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_bac9f95d | type |
Sweet Tooth | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_bac9f95d | comment |
Sweet Tooth: Deconstructed with Jean Teasdale. She often writes about her love of chocolate and homemade desserts with ludicrous amounts of sugar. Eventually, she develops type 2 diabetes. | |
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It's All About Me | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_bb18a227 | comment |
It's All About Me: "New Google Streep View To Provide Panoramic Imagery Of Meryl Streep". This is much of the gag with Kelly, in that his political views amount to "whatever is most convenient to me, personally." For instance, he is in favor of the bird population crisis, because that way birds don't poop on him. | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_bc00493f | type |
Precision F-Strike | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_bc00493f | comment |
Precision F-Strike: "Playboy Centerfold Has Big Dreams, Tits". | |
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Improbable Aiming Skills | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_bcd27e37 | comment |
Improbable Aiming Skills: "Nationals Book It After Foul Ball Accidentally Smashes Capitol Rotunda". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_bd8aa92a | type |
Negative Continuity | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_bd8aa92a | comment |
Negative Continuity: The world of The Onion runs on this. For example, in this article, the Supreme Court legalizes gay marriage. The very next day, they ran an article saying the Court voted unanimously to uphold the Defense of Marriage Act. | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_be1472cc | type |
[Trope Name] | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_be1472cc | comment |
[Trope Name]: Used in perhaps the most spot-on parody of 24-hour cable news ever, "Breaking News: Some Bullshit Happening Somewhere". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_be8f3491 | type |
The Theme Park Version | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_be8f3491 | comment |
The Theme Park Version: "Yellowstone National Park Concerned About Competing 'Yello-Stone Natural Park' Built Right Across Street". | |
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The Magazine Rule | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_bee9473c | comment |
The Magazine Rule: "Star Wars Gamer Magazine Boldly Claims To Be The Leading Magazine For Star Wars Gamers". "New Pompous Asshole Magazine To Compete With Cigar Aficionado". "New Demography Today Magazine Targets Demographer Demographic". "Rat Fancy Magazine Fails To Catch On". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_bef696dd | type |
Mind Screw | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_bef696dd | comment |
Mind Screw: "Obama's Weekly Video Addresses Becoming Increasingly Avant-Garde". | |
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Really Gets Around | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_bf1255fa | comment |
Really Gets Around: "Town's Teen Pregnancy Spike Due To One Impressive Youth". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_bf698238 | type |
When All You Have Is a Hammer… | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_bf698238 | comment |
When All You Have Is a Hammer…: "If I Had One Piece Of Advice For Today's Youth, It Would Be To Throw A Baseball Really, Really Well". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_bf74d357 | type |
Ugly Guy, Hot Wife | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_bf74d357 | comment |
Ugly Guy, Hot Wife: "Woman's Parents Accepting Of Mixed-Attractiveness Relationship". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_c132c0c5 | type |
I Have No Son! | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_c132c0c5 | comment |
I Have No Son!: "DEA Official Announces Successful Drug Bust On Son's Room". The official doesn't quite say the words, but he never refers to the suspect as his son. | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_c19bdbe1 | type |
Good Cop/Bad Cop | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_c19bdbe1 | comment |
Good Cop/Bad Cop: "Good Cop, Avid-Stamp-Collector Cop Routine Not Working". "Good Cop, Bad Cop Both Racist". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_c2676b00 | type |
Jurisdiction Friction | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_c2676b00 | comment |
Jurisdiction Friction: "Local Authorities More Than Happy To Let FBI Take Over". | |
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Indian Burial Ground | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_c28f97b8 | comment |
Indian Burial Ground: "Economy Failing Because U.S. Built On Ancient Indian Burial Grounds". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_c2c15b23 | type |
Bait-and-Switch Comment | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_c2c15b23 | comment |
Bait-and-Switch Comment: Several horoscopes are like this. | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_c2d07094 | type |
Blues | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_c2d07094 | comment |
Blues: Exemplified in the recurring character of supposedly legendary Mississippi Delta guitar player Willie "Skipbone" Jackson, who frequently engages in pointless Epic Rocking, sings about how his woman does him wrong, and brings sanctions against Yemen. | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_c312bb2d | type |
Too Hot for TV | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_c312bb2d | comment |
Too Hot for TV: "C-SPAN Releases 'Too Hot For C-SPAN!' Video". | |
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Ho Yay | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_c325f125 | comment |
Ho Yay: invoked "World's Power Brokers Hold Annual Summit Where They Show Each Other Their Penises". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_c326149a | type |
Hobos | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_c326149a | comment |
Hobos: In "Why Am I The Only Homeless Man Still Wearing Pickle Barrels?", the narrator is a homeless man who was once a powerful railroad tycoon before the fickle hand of fate robbed him of his mansion, wealth and fine suits, and set him on the wandering path of the hobo. He bears himself with dignity, seeking nothing more than a pickle barrel to clad himself in, a stray can of beans for his supper, and the company of his old friend Handsome Joe the Hobo King who lives down by the train yard. In recent days, however, he worries about the looming extinction of his traditional lifestyle — modern hobos have largely abandoned the traditional barrels for flashy, trendy wear such as be-patched trousers and shoes that leave the big toe exposed, suitable barrels have become rare as well as shipping companies have switched to glass jars and cardboard boxes, and fewer and fewer people transport their canned goods in poorly-secured bicycles where even a slight bump might send a hearty stew flying to the street. | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_c3ca1064 | type |
Lowest Common Denominator | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_c3ca1064 | comment |
Lowest Common Denominator: In-Universe. "Pop Star's Single, 'Booty Wave', Most Likely Civilization's Downfall". "No One Admits To Singing, Writing, Producing Nation's No. 1 Song". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_c41668cd | type |
Needle in a Stack of Needles | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_c41668cd | comment |
Needle in a Stack of Needles: "Thousands Of Girls Match Description Of Missing Sorority Sister". | |
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We Can Rule Together | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_c420a553 | comment |
We Can Rule Together: "'Take Your Place By My Side And We Can Rule New York Forever,' Says Covid To Disgraced, Vengeful Andrew Cuomo". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_c450b632 | type |
So Unfunny, It's Funny | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_c450b632 | comment |
So Unfunny, It's Funny: The entire point of Roger Dudek's "Write On The Funny!" Present in Jean Teasdale's column (with lines like "Osama bin Laden should take a chocolate pill!") and some of the cartoons (when they're not full of Patriotic Fervor and Media Scaremongering). | |
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Waking Up at the Morgue | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_c47fed84 | comment |
Waking Up at the Morgue: "Nude Biden Wakes Up On Cold Slab In D.C. Morgue" | |
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Let's See YOU Do Better! | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_c4d293c4 | comment |
Let's See YOU Do Better!: "'Well, You Try To Reconstruct Iraq,' Says U.S. Defensive Dept." | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_c5249b29 | type |
Nice Guy | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_c5249b29 | comment |
Nice Guy: In "Developmentally Disabled Burger King Employee Only Competent Worker", Andy Ehrman is courteous and helpful to the customers. He politely calls his coworkers out when he sees them doing something wrong, and is willing to do the work himself if they're too lazy to do anything. In "Friends Don't Understand How Man Not Depressed," Carl, the man in question, is described as "super nice" and remains friendly and sociable despite his low income and inability to get a girlfriend. | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_c59cfa2e | type |
Felony Misdemeanor | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_c59cfa2e | comment |
Felony Misdemeanor: "USDA Official Takes Brave Stand Against Interstate Potato Pricing". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_c75df49a | type |
Shout-Out | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_c75df49a | comment |
Shout-Out: Oddly, this early article mentions the three guys who were behind the direction of [adult swim]: Dave Willis, Keith Crofford, and Mike Lazzo. This article casts Rumsfeld as an Expy of M. Bison. This recent one casts the Supreme Court as being somewhat like the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers, with former Chief Justice John Marshall as a Zordon-style Oracular Head and a Robot Buddy named Amicus (much like Alpha 5/6). | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_c7d86fbe | type |
Plausible Deniability | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_c7d86fbe | comment |
Plausible Deniability: "Paul Ryan Announces New Congress Sexual Harassment Training Will Create Safe Work Atmosphere, Plausible Deniability". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_c85198a2 | type |
Hype Aversion | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_c85198a2 | comment |
Hype Aversion: In-Universe, "New Apple Friend Bar Gives Customers Someone To Talk At About Mac Products". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_c9597a03 | type |
Self-Deprecation | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_c9597a03 | comment |
Self-Deprecation: "New Study Finds 'The Onion' Has Never Been More Popular, More Beloved, Or More Respected", written in the wake of the backlash towards their Quvenzhane Wallis insult. Website's Built-In Search Engine Just Pathetic nearly always turns up when using the site's search feature, no matter what terms are put in. In-universe with "Self-Deprecating Man Just Scratching Surface Of How Pathetic He Actually Is". "Clear From Stock Music That Video Never Meant To Be Watched With Sound On". After Project Veritas attempted to expose The Washington Post as "fake news" by tricking them into posting false information about Alabama senatorial candidate Roy Moore — which the Post did not fall for and responded by exposing the attempted sting — The Onion then published "'The Onion' Has Obtained Exclusive Information From Jaime Phillips About Roy Moore's Sexual Indiscretions", in which the publication praises itself for being the only outlet brave enough to publish such information while constantly hinting at the level of ingorance necessary for a major outlet to take the bait. | |
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I Know Madden Kombat | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_c9869c78 | comment |
I Know Madden Kombat: "LBJ Deploys Green Bay Packers to Vietnam". Explanation For non-Americans, The Green Bay Packers are a professional American football team from Wisconsin. | |
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Music Is Politics | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_ca14fa2b | comment |
Music Is Politics: "Song Banged Out In Half Hour By Professional Songwriters To Define Teenager’s Personality For Next Two Years". | |
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Madwoman in the Attic | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_ca22ca46 | comment |
Madwoman in the Attic: "LAPD Discovers Hidden Deformed Olsen Triplet". | |
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No Name Given | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_ca87e3ec | comment |
Ambiguously used in the similar sports feature Fan on the Street, which always shows the same three photos with no names or occupations given. Lampshaded by The Onion itself here. | |
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Rerouted from Heaven | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_cb4c72d8 | comment |
Rerouted from Heaven: "Mother Teresa Sent to Hell in Wacky Afterlife Mix-Up". | |
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Everything's Deader with Zombies | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_cb643ebb | comment |
Everything's Deader with Zombies: "Zombie Reagan Raised From Grave To Lead GOP", among many others. | |
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Killed Off for Real | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_cda501da | comment |
Killed Off for Real: Averted with Doc and Kenny, who came back a couple months later with their heads wrapped in bloody bandages. | |
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Dude, Not Funny! | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_cdd835ce | comment |
Dude, Not Funny!: In-Universe, "Circus Train Wreck Not Funny, Investigators Emphasize". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_cde840c1 | type |
Pro Wrestling Is Real | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_cde840c1 | comment |
Pro Wrestling Is Real: Inverted. According to this video, it's the fans that are fake, not necessarily the wrestlers. | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_ce6555f0 | type |
Lighter and Softer | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_ce6555f0 | comment |
Lighter and Softer: "New David Simon Project To Investigate Happy, Upper-Middle-Class Streets Of Wilmette, Illinois". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_cec142d6 | type |
Knuckle Cracking | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_cec142d6 | comment |
Knuckle Cracking: The intimidating spinal variant in "Bad Guy Signals Badness with Neck Crack". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_d148b019 | type |
Mundane Made Awesome | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_d148b019 | comment |
Mundane Made Awesome: "Excited Red Sox Fans Eagerly Await Debut Of Matsuzaka's 'Ultimate Galactic Dragon Gyroball Pitch Power Explosion'", complete with an "Over Nine Thousand" reference. "Police Seize More Than $50 In Wire From Nation's Wealthiest Crystal Meth Dealer". "Yard Sign With Candidate's Name On It Electrifies Congressional Race". "Les Misérables Takes Home Oscar For Most Sound". "Ceiling Fan Transforms Apartment Without Air Conditioning Into Frosty Wonderland". "DEA Official Announces Successful Drug Bust On Son's Room". "Special Boy With Freakishly Large Brain Wins Spelling Bee", in which the hosts of Today Now! treat a child with an above-average ability like an autistic savant. "Opium-Inspired Ad Executive Composes Epic Tums Jingle". "South Korean President Eats Full, Balanced Meal In Show Of Strength Against North". | |
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First-Contact Math | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_d20b3e5d | comment |
First-Contact Math: "Earth Contacted By Extraterrestrial Nerds". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_d2566b32 | type |
Hunting the Most Dangerous Game | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_d2566b32 | comment |
Hunting the Most Dangerous Game: "Maverick Hunter's 'Human Beings As Prey' Plan Not As Challenging As Expected" is a deconstruction. The human prey wasn't conditioned to survive in the jungle, and died in ways the titular hunter didn't even consider was fathomable. "Lindsey Graham Cowers Behind Tree Trunk As Trump's Hunting Dogs Close In". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_d259fea2 | type |
Speak Ill of the Dead | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_d259fea2 | comment |
Speak Ill of the Dead: In "Fun Toy Banned Because of Three Stupid Dead Kids". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_d295a79e | type |
Just Here for Godzilla | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_d295a79e | comment |
Just Here for Godzilla:invoked Parodied in "Guinness Releases Abridged Book Of Freaks For Readers Who Just Want The Good Stuff". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_d295a79e | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_d2c0e2ed | type |
Schmuck Bait | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_d2c0e2ed | comment |
After Project Veritas attempted to expose The Washington Post as "fake news" by tricking them into posting false information about Alabama senatorial candidate Roy Moore — which the Post did not fall for and responded by exposing the attempted sting — The Onion then published "'The Onion' Has Obtained Exclusive Information From Jaime Phillips About Roy Moore's Sexual Indiscretions", in which the publication praises itself for being the only outlet brave enough to publish such information while constantly hinting at the level of ingorance necessary for a major outlet to take the bait. | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_d355ba37 | type |
Turned Against Their Masters | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_d355ba37 | comment |
Turned Against Their Masters: "'I'm Afraid You Won't Be Coming To Our New Headquarters,' Declares Alexa As Amazon Execs Find Themselves Locked In Seattle Office". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_d45c0b86 | type |
Refuge in Audacity | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_d45c0b86 | comment |
Refuge in Audacity: "Mexico Killed In Drug Deal". "They Can Never Take Away My Memories", by Jerry Sandusky. "Arizona Man Steals Bush's Identity, Vetoes Bill, Meets With Mexican President". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_d4689f3 | type |
Sarcasm Failure | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_d4689f3 | comment |
Sarcasm Failure: Although most articles by The Onion are written as satire, a few are technically accurate news accounts. "Muscleman Put In Charge Of World's Fifth-Largest Economy", filled with legit facts and news due to being so unbelievable at the time. For the Mayweather/Pacquiao fight, The Onion wrote the technically completely accurate "Philippines Citizens Currently Watching Their Congressman Fight A Guy On TV" The more serious version of this trope, pertaining to American healthcare, could be found in "Tips For Not Condemning Millions Of Americans To Sickness And Death", notable for the usual irreverence being absent. | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_d4689f3 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_d46ddfa2 | type |
CloudCuckooLander | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_d46ddfa2 | comment |
Part of Jean Teasdale's Cloud Cuckoolander act is her never accepting responsibility or blame for her faults, whether it's getting firednote (she got caught using eBay — on the boss's computer, no less — and remains convinced that the boss just hated her) or her poor sense of humornote (a friend declines to use Jean's jokes in a stand-up act because they're pithy and toothless, but Jean thinks the friend was threatened by the idea of a superior comic). When a local magazine calls her article out for being garbage, she insists that they don't know what they're talking about — while doing everything that they said makes her articles garbage. | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_d4fc9734 | type |
Salt the Earth | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_d4fc9734 | comment |
Salt the Earth: "Snuggle Marketers Kill Off 18-34 Demographic Rather Than Let It Fall Into Hands Of Competitor". | |
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Batman Grabs a Gun | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_d563a53c | comment |
Batman Grabs a Gun: Played for Laughs as the principles which are broken in desperation are really silly to begin with: "Libertarian Reluctantly Calls Fire Department". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_d5dec29e | type |
It's Popular, Now It Sucks! | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_d5dec29e | comment |
It's Popular, Now It Sucks!: In-Universe, "Trekkies Bash New 'Star Trek' Film As 'Fun, Watchable'". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_d5dec29e | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_d66cd0e6 | type |
Training from Hell | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_d66cd0e6 | comment |
Training from Hell: "'I Want To Be In The Olympics Someday,' Says Delusional Kindergartner Already 4 Years Behind In Elite Training" claims that the titular kindergartener Mia Gaughan is already 4 years behind in elite training, and calls her narcissistic and foolish for even thinking of competing in the Olympics when she's that far behind. | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_d66cd0e6 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_d72164e9 | type |
Must Have Nicotine | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_d72164e9 | comment |
Must Have Nicotine: "Smoking Now Permitted Only In Special Room In Iowa". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_d72164e9 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_d72164e9 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_d739e2c2 | type |
Exponential Plot Delay | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_d739e2c2 | comment |
Exponential Plot Delay: "Final Minutes Of Last Harry Potter Movie To Be Split Into Seven Separate Films". | |
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1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_d739e2c2 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_d80fb43b | type |
Murder Simulators | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_d80fb43b | comment |
Murder Simulators: "Video-Game Violence Blamed In Giant-Robot Shooting Spree". "Study Finds Cable-TV Violence Leads To Network-TV Violence". | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_d80fb43b | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_d80fb43b | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_d94ff9b3 | type |
Wall of Text | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_d94ff9b3 | comment |
Wall of Text: "Nation Shudders At Large Block Of Uninterrupted Text". "Frustrated Obama Sends Nation Rambling 75,000-Word E-Mail". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_d94ff9b3 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_d986d0ed | type |
Evil Only Has to Win Once | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_d986d0ed | comment |
Evil Only Has to Win Once: "USSR Wins Space Race As U.S. Shuts Down Shuttle Program". | |
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Screw This, I'm Outta Here | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_d9cf40fa | comment |
Screw This, I'm Outta Here: "U.S. Troops Draw Up Own Exit Strategy". "Health Experts Recommend Standing Up At Desk, Leaving Office, Never Coming Back". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_d9cf40fa | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_da41243d | type |
Spoiler | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_da41243d | comment |
Spoiler: In-universe, "Final Harry Potter Book Blasted For Containing Spoilers". | |
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1.0 | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_da41243d | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_daa33a93 | type |
Wealthy Yacht Owner | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_daa33a93 | comment |
Wealthy Yacht Owner: "Rising Income Inequality Causing Wealthy Americans To Take On Second Sailboat". "Rich Guy Wins Yacht Race". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_daa33a93 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_db2f3581 | type |
All Girls Want Bad Boys | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_db2f3581 | comment |
All Girls Want Bad Boys: "Irrepressible Bad Boy Slays Seven". Parodied to the point where it crosses over into Screw the Rules, I'm Beautiful!. The bad boy in question is a sadistic, sociopathic mass murderer, yet the media still swoons over him because he's a handsome film star. | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_dd22df26 | type |
Hands-On Approach | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_dd22df26 | comment |
Hands-On Approach: "Romney stands behind Ryan to Show Good Campaigning Stance". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_dd22df26 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_dda99fa8 | type |
Despair Event Horizon | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_dda99fa8 | comment |
Despair Event Horizon: "Fuck Everything, Nation Reports", after the Sandy Hook shooting. "Man Who Thought He'd Lost All Hope Loses Last Additional Bit of Hope He Didn't Know He Still Had". "'No Way To Prevent This,' Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens", after the Isla Vista shooting and many since. It states that Americans treat mass shootings as an inevitability, and that they feel helpless against them. Twice in a row (timestamped 10:33 AM and 10:42 AM 8/4/19) in response to the back-to-back shootings in El Paso and Dayton. "Report: Make It Stop", occasionally reposted much like the "No Way To Prevent This" article in response to particularly agonizing and bizarre news days. The variant linked for example shows images of Logan Paul, Tide pods, an Alexa speaker, and Donald Trump. | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_dda99fa8 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_de7891ec | type |
Continuity Creep | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_de7891ec | comment |
Continuity Creep: The show on IFC had some recurring stories, such as the one involving time travelers trying to kill Suri Cruise and the FDA official yelling for everyone to start eating healthier. | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_de7891ec | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_deecc9eb | type |
Awful Wedded Life | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_deecc9eb | comment |
Awful Wedded Life: Jean Teasdale and her "Hubby Rick". Rick is an alcoholic who spends most of his free time at a bar, and her interactions with Jean mainly consist of him putting her down or making fun of her; Jean, meanwhile, got her ideas about marriage from Phyllis Diller's routines and Erma Bombeck's columns, and is oblivious to the fact that their very one-sided "war of the sexes" is anything but emotionally deadening, let alone cute. In one article, she writes about her astonishment upon learning that, in theory, a marriage is supposed to be happy and harmonious. | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_deecc9eb | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_df1793de | type |
Updated Re-release | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_df1793de | comment |
Updated Re-release: "Classic Movie 'Avatar' Updated For Today's Audiences". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_df1793de | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_df5ab39e | type |
Franchise Zombie | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_df5ab39e | comment |
Franchise Zombie: In-Universe, "Final Minutes Of Last Harry Potter Movie To Be Split Into Seven Separate Films". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_e0904aa4 | type |
No Party Like a Donner Party | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_e0904aa4 | comment |
No Party Like a Donner Party: Played for Laughs in "In Retrospect, I Guess We Might Have Resorted To Cannibalism A Bit Early", where five people stuck in an elevator kill and cannibalize a sixth — less than an hour after gettting stuck. | |
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Silly Rabbit, Idealism Is for Kids! | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_e0e8cce6 | comment |
Silly Rabbit, Idealism Is for Kids!: "Grown Adult Actually Expects To Be Happy". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_e132a621 | type |
Fluffy Cloud Heaven | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_e132a621 | comment |
Fluffy Cloud Heaven: The tendency of many editorial cartoonists to draw bland "tributes" with dead celebrities at the Pearly Gates is mocked in Kelly's panels, which often depict famous people that he hates for some reason suffering in Fire and Brimstone Hell. | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_e1721fd1 | type |
Antiquated Linguistics | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_e1721fd1 | comment |
Antiquated Linguistics: For example: "Per the Mysterious Congressman's directive, the debate will held in one fortnight's time on the shores of the Tidal Basin at day's first light. It will be broadcast simultaneously by all network and cable-news channels." | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_e2023325 | type |
StrawmanPolitical | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_e2023325 | comment |
Strawman Political: The editorial cartoons are done by a strawman conservative who draws even more ridiculous strawman liberals.note If you are also a conservative, prepare to sometimes agree with the strawman. | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_e21faf11 | type |
Friend to All Living Things | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_e21faf11 | comment |
Friend to All Living Things: "Geese All Flying To Andy GarcÃa's House For Winter". | |
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Has a Type | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_e24e15a6 | comment |
Has a Type: "Area Man Saddened To Realize Short Jewish Women With An Interest In Theater His Type". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_e24e15a6 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_e2a41c3b | type |
Literal-Minded | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_e2a41c3b | comment |
Literal-Minded: "Concentric Circles Emanating From Glowing Red Dot". | |
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1.0 | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_e303d198 | type |
Whole-Plot Reference | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_e303d198 | comment |
Whole-Plot Reference: Apple iPhone fever as The Emperor's New Clothes in "Apple Claims New iPhone Only Visible To Most Loyal Of Customers". A combination of Aladdin, The Little Mermaid (1989) and Pocahontas: "Lovestruck Arabian Princess Begs Father To Spare John Kerry's Life". | |
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Manchild | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_e313b4e7 | comment |
Manchild: Exaggerated in "Nation Down To Last Hundred Grown-Ups". Donald Trump's sons tend to be written as this, including "Trump Boys Beg Father To Nominate G.I. Joe Action Figure Cobra Commander For VA Secretary" or "Trump Boys Forge Father's Signature On Letters They Wrote Excusing Them From Any More Testifying". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_e313b4e7 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_e35b1a96 | type |
Everything Is Big in Texas | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_e35b1a96 | comment |
Everything is Big in Texas: "Texas Constructs U.S. Border Wall To Keep Out Unwanted Americans". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_e3b2b2 | type |
Japandering | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_e3b2b2 | comment |
Japandering: "Obama Earns Money For U.S. By Appearing In Japanese Television Commercial". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_e3b2b2 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_e409de66 | type |
Manipulative Editing | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_e409de66 | comment |
Manipulative Editing: Parodied in the video "Man Had Sex With Wife Thousands Of Times Before Killing Her", part of the fictional True Crime Show Within a Show Raw Justice. The "real" story appears to be a tragic accident in which a normal couple were having passionate sex in the kitchen before the husband performed a possibly lethal "donkey punch" on his wife. Raw Justice's version turns it into an oversensationalized crime story about a "coital boogeyman" who held his wife captive for years as a Sex Slave before finally and coldly committing premeditated murder. They use every editing trick in the book to make the husband seem like a monstrous rapist and the wife as a battered victim with Stockholm Syndrome, while the actual content of the story is anything but horrific. | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_e409de66 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_e4cd6f47 | type |
Wedding Deadline | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_e4cd6f47 | comment |
Wedding Deadline: Revealed at the end in "I'm Sure That Out-Of-Control Water-Skier Will Avoid Our Outdoor Wedding", who is imminently going to ruin the wedding, The protagonist was "forced to leave my first love, a working-class Irish bootblack named Patrick, to marry a rich man who pleased my father but whom I could never truly love, [...] Patrick, who just so happens to be that same directionless water-skier. Yes, nothing can go wrong now." | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_e5427a31 | type |
Funk | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_e5427a31 | comment |
Funk: "Clinton Threatens to Drop Da Bomb on Iraq". "National Funk Congress Deadlocked on Get Up/Get Down Issue". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_e545d293 | type |
Narm | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_e545d293 | comment |
Narm: Invoked with "Study: Children of Divorce Twice As Likely to Write Bad Poetry" (no longer available online but can be found in the book Dispatches from the Tenth Circle). | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_e567510d | type |
Determinator | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_e567510d | comment |
Determinator: "'The Onion' Vows To Carry On Iran's Nuclear Weapons Program Until The Job Is Done". "Badly Injured Man Not Done Partying Yet". "Presidential Limo Guns It Around Corner In Attempt to Toss Robert Mueller from Roof". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_e5fd8bc2 | type |
Hate Sink | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_e5fd8bc2 | comment |
Hate Sink: "Mom Hates Bad Guy In Movie". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_e5fd8bc2 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_e624f0e8 | type |
Suspiciously Specific Denial | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_e624f0e8 | comment |
Suspiciously Specific Denial: Inverted; "Google Responds To Privacy Concerns With Unsettlingly Specific Apology". "When I Have Kids, I'm Not Going To Drown Them". "Attempt To Recreate Incredible Night Out From Youth Works Perfectly". "Life Jackets Issued To All Americans For Some Reason". Nothing to worry about though! Also, Homeland Security recommends wearing them at all times and the Navy is building shipyards in Idaho, Missouri, and Ohio — which, for context, are all landlocked statesnote (in terms of the oceans — a large portion of Ohio's northern border is Lake Erie). No reason, though. "New Study Finds 'The Onion' Has Never Been More Popular, More Beloved, or More Respected". Explanation This one showed up shortly after The Onion's Twitter account insulted 9-year-old Oscar nominee Quvenzhane Wallis by calling her a very offensive word. "Gore Camp Denies Putting Bush Camp's Canoe In Treetop". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_e69efe7f | type |
Lysistrata Gambit | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_e69efe7f | comment |
Lysistrata Gambit: "Congressional Aides Withholding Sex Until Budget Compromise Is Reached". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_e6c88e42 | type |
Old Shame | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_e6c88e42 | comment |
Old Shame: In-universe, "Energy Secretary Just Assumed Cabinet Knew He Did Porn Films In The '80s". | |
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Rubber-Forehead Aliens | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_e78aa97d | comment |
Rubber-Forehead Aliens: "Star Trek Introduces Alien Character With Totally Different Forehead Wrinkles". | |
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Panty Thief | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_e8f91cb9 | comment |
Panty Thief: "Six Dead In West Point Panty Raid". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_e98babd8 | type |
Screw the Rules, I'm Beautiful! | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_e98babd8 | comment |
Screw the Rules, I'm Beautiful!: "It's Okay, I'm Attractive". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_e9fb38 | type |
The Talk | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_e9fb38 | comment |
The Talk: "Daughter Thinks It's Time To Have Sex Talk With Parents". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_ea46254a | type |
Jiggle Physics | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_ea46254a | comment |
Jiggle Physics: "New Video Game Technology Finally Allows Rendering Of Smaller Breasts". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_ea46254a | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_ea8168f | type |
Crossover Cosmology | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_ea8168f | comment |
Crossover Cosmology: Pope Francis Hosts Feathered Serpent God As Part Of Deity Exchange Program. Kukulkan, the Mayan feathered serpent god spends this month in Vatican City, while the next month the Abrahamic God stays with the Taoist thunder god Lei Gong in the cloud kingdom over Tibet. | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_eaf5a1ac | type |
Groin Attack | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_eaf5a1ac | comment |
Groin Attack: In "In Bipartisan Spirit, Obama Makes Deal To Get Kicked In Balls", political analysts give their opinions on a deal where President Obama agrees to let Republicans in Congress repeatedly kick him in the balls in exchange for nothing. | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_eb6912 | type |
Pretty Fly for a White Guy | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_eb6912 | comment |
Pretty Fly for a White Guy: Herbert Kornfeld, Accounts Receivable. | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_eb8ec7c8 | type |
Jerkass | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_eb8ec7c8 | comment |
Jerkass: "Asshole Admits To Being Asshole In Supreme Asshole Move" "Asshole Proud of Asshole Son," which features a racist, sexist jerk who's pleased that his son's turning out like him. | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_eb9e6184 | type |
Stupid Sexy Flanders | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_eb9e6184 | comment |
Stupid Sexy Flanders: "Running Back's Buttocks Undulate Hypnotically In Sexuality-Challenging Slow-Motion Replay". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_ebe5d89c | type |
Disco Dan | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_ebe5d89c | comment |
Founder and editor of The Onion T. Herman Zweibel far surpasses a Disco Dan, being positively ancient (over 140 years old) and sheltered from modern life for a century by his severe decrepitude and distaste for his fellow man. He seems dimly aware of what's going on in the world, but for the most part, he approaches everything with the zealous tyranny of a Gilded Age robber baron — when he learns of the death of print and the new tycoons of social media, his first instinct is to have Zuckerberg and Musk killed. | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_eddb470c | type |
Have I Mentioned I Am Sexually Active Today? | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_eddb470c | comment |
Have I Mentioned I Am Sexually Active Today?: "Teen Boys Losing Virginity Earlier and Earlier, Report Teen Boys". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_eddb470c | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_ee9877ea | type |
Too Good for This Sinful Earth | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_ee9877ea | comment |
Too Good for This Sinful Earth: "Beautiful Cinnamon Roll Too Good For This World, Too Pure" applies the trope to a pastry instead of a person. | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_eef85d73 | type |
People's Republic of Tyranny | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_eef85d73 | comment |
People's Republic of Tyranny: In "Clinton Declares Self President For Life", Clinton renames the US to the "Holy United Imperial Americlintonian Demopublic" — right after naming himself President-for-Life and invalidating all election results. | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_eef90616 | type |
Bread, Eggs, Milk, Squick | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_eef90616 | comment |
Bread, Eggs, Milk, Squick: An autistic reporter covering a train accident said that "Before the train came to a complete stop, it ran over three trash bags, a piece of gum, a Snickers wrapper, a man, and a glove." "Animator Misses The Birth Of His Child So Mr. Incredible Could Have Consistently Sized Penis Bulge": | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_eef90616 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_ef81dc82 | type |
Fantasy Sequence | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_ef81dc82 | comment |
Fantasy Sequence: "Twelve Customers Gunned Down In Convenience-Store Clerk's Imagination". "Kidnapped Boy Found Safe, Imagines Kidnapped Boy". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_efd95d99 | type |
Poking Dead Things with a Stick | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_efd95d99 | comment |
Poking Dead Things with a Stick: The article "Poke with Stick Confirms Raccoon's Death" — two brothers, ages 9 and 11, obtain conclusive proof that they have found a dead raccoon after prodding it several times with a stick after earlier tests involving throwing rocks and an empty soda can yielded no results. | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_efef300 | type |
Put on a Bus to Hell | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_efef300 | comment |
Put on a Bus to Hell: Jim Anchower hasn't been heard from since 2012, when he was arrested and sentenced to six months in jail. | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_eff83d77 | type |
Mundane Utility | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_eff83d77 | comment |
Mundane Utility: "NASA Chief Under Fire For Personal Shuttle Use". "Jimmie Johnson Disqualified After Pre-Race Inspection Reveals Car To Be Airplane". | |
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The Onion (Website) / int_eff83d77 | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_f0089082 | type |
Early-Bird Cameo | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_f0089082 | comment |
Early-Bird Cameo: In "Biden Criticized For Appearing In Hennessy ads", a spokesperson for Hennessy was seen on Fact Zone, which is where the show on IFC would take place about a year after the video was released. The show would occasionally be mentioned on the news ticker on some other videos. | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_f10d3363 | type |
Distracted by the Sexy | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_f10d3363 | comment |
Distracted by the Sexy: "Poll Finds Majority Of Male Voters Would Have Elected Naked Woman". (NSFW). In "Recent Rise In International Disputes Traced Back To Cute U.N. Tour Guide", many international delegates were too smitten for an attractive tour guide to do their jobs properly. Played for Horror in that these international delegates' failure to do their jobs have inadvertently led to or contributed to political conflicts and humanitarian crises. | |
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NO INDOOR VOICE | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_f15c2859 | comment |
No Indoor Voice: "I Enjoy Yelling Things". "BREAKING: Incomprehensible Shouting Named Official U.S. Language". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_f1a1a9a4 | type |
Seasonal Rot | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_f1a1a9a4 | comment |
Seasonal Rot: In-universe. "5-Year-Old Says 'Sesame Street' Has Sucked Since 2010." "'Game Of Thrones' Showrunners Disappointed With How Quality Of Fans Has Dropped Off Over Past Couple Seasons." | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_f1ac9897 | type |
Female Misogynist | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_f1ac9897 | comment |
Female Misogynist: "Woman In Burqa Condemns Woman In Chador" has Uliya Salah, who despises Raheela Asaad for not conforming to the Taliban's sexist rules as much as she does. | |
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The Alleged Car | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_f237981e | comment |
The Alleged Car: Jim Anchower's perpetually abused Ford Festiva. | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_f23ad6de | type |
Food Porn | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_f23ad6de | comment |
Food Porn: "Report: Oh, Fuck Yeah, Egg Yolk Dripping All Over Sandwich". Treated as literal porn in "Masturbating Mom Can't Get Bobby Flay Southwestern Eggs Demo To Stop Buffering". | |
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True Meaning of Christmas | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_f3909f81 | comment |
True Meaning of Christmas: Parodied in "Has Halloween Become Too Commercialized?", where the debaters discuss how people are forgetting the true meaning of Halloween: warding off evil spirits. | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_f3caa2be | type |
Distanced from Current Events | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_f3caa2be | comment |
Distanced from Current Events: In-Universe, "'Beltway Sniper' Video-Game Release Delayed Out Of Respect For Victims". In a Real Life version, "Columbine Jocks Safely Resume Bullying" wasn't printed in the Denver edition. invoked"Report: Still Hasn't Been Long Enough To Open Restaurant Called Bin Laden's". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_f4d00fb0 | type |
Deadline News | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_f4d00fb0 | comment |
Deadline News: Implied in "'No, No, Dear God No,' Mumbles Powerball Presenter After Drawing Pitch-Black Ball". | |
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Product Placement | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_f511ea9b | comment |
Product Placement: "Should More Americans Get In On The EZ-Go Juicer Craze?" "Peter Jackson's 'The Hobbit' Stays Faithful To Original Book, Denny's Menu". "NASCAR To Abandon Racing Portion Of Business, Concentrate On Ads". | |
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Hollywood Psych | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_f6214be1 | comment |
Hollywood Psych: "Autistic Reporter: Train Thankfully Unharmed In Crash That Killed One Man". And "Autistic Reporter, Michael Falk, Enchanted By Prison's Rigid Routine". | |
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Historical Beauty Update | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_f740a274 | comment |
Historical Beauty Update: "I Would Have Been Considered Very Attractive In The Middle Ages". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_f7567671 | type |
Game Within a Game | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_f7567671 | comment |
Game Within a Game: "Warcraft Sequel Lets You Play a Character Playing Warcraft". | |
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| The Onion (Website) / int_f7611ec2 | type |
Opinion Myopia | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_f7611ec2 | comment |
Opinion Myopia: In-universe. Stan Kelly, the fictional creator of The Onion's parodic political cartoons, refuses to accept that people might differ from him in aeshetics or opinion on even the most trivial subject without being moral degenerates. One cartoon, for instance, is dedicated entirely to lambasting modern sickos for their anti-American and freedom-hating habit of... eating wraps instead of sandwiches. | |
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Santa's Existence Clause | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_f7d724e6 | comment |
Santa's Existence Clause: "Sitcom Characters Still In Shock After Christmas Episode Proves Existence Of Santa Claus", which features Frankie and Mike Heck from The Middle suffering a severe existential crisis in the aftermath of an end-of-episode tease that Santa is Real After All. | |
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Girlfriend in Canada | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_f93d8d52 | comment |
Girlfriend in Canada: The entirety of "Canadian Girlfriend Unsubstantiated" | |
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Drives Like Crazy | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_f96f188c | comment |
Drives Like Crazy: "General Motors Introduces New Instant-Win Airbags". | |
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Running Gag | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_f9f2c33 | comment |
Running Gag: When the print versions need to fill a small space, they put in a small article with nothing but the repeated phrase "Passersby were amazed by the unusually-large amounts of blood." (which also appears in context during "Blood... Blood Everywhere"). In Ad Nauseam, these instances are accompanied by completely off-the-wall "quotes" like "I'm thinking about getting into self-mutilation" or "Congress must be so stoned to come up with all those cool laws." Recurring article types include "[Corporation] scientists discover [related discovery]", among others. In the sports section, any article about Tim Duncan will make fun of how bland he is. Clifford Banes has never actually appeared in his self-titled panel-discussion series In the Know with Clifford Banes; there's always a sit-in newscaster who gives an absurd reason for Banes' absence. The only time he did show up, he wore a perfect latex Julianna McKennis mask. In the Stan Kelly Political Cartoons: The Statue of Liberty crying. Kelly being an avid fan of Star Trek: The Original Series, the kind who hates J. J. Abrams with a passion. invoked Kelly's massive case of professional envy towards the late Charles Schulz, the creator of Peanuts, consistently describing him as an "overrated, talentless hack" and always depicting him as burning in Fire and Brimstone Hell. According to Our Dumb World, every single African country has at least one resident named Mtumbe Ngoube. All the George W. Bush injury articles (see Butt-Monkey and Take That!) end with "Bush is resting comfortably at Bethesda Naval Hospital." "This Week In History" always includes Professor Timothy Hendry sidetracking into a long rant. After he apparently killed colleague Eric Kaufman, he started in on some daddy issues instead. After that, he started arguing about payment with the hosts. Dr. Eli Wasserbaum is a recurring "expert" quoted in many articles. Taylor Swift's dating life, which thus far has included Garfield creator Jim Davis, Senator Joseph McCarthy, Suri Cruise, James Holmes, the winner of a "Win a Date with Taylor Swift" contest (which she wrote a scathing hit breakup song about), Christopher Dorner (who she got back together with after he was killed), the Watertown boat Dzokhar Tsarnaev was found in, an Alternate Universe bodybuilder George Harrison, and the Mars Curiosity rover. A photo of Alan Alda keeps showing up in slideshows. Some politicians are portrayed as leading lives completely different than what they actually do, i.e. Joe Biden (until 2020) was a party-hearty Cool Old Guy, while John Kerry tends to be right in the middle of an action movie. In a very dark running gag, the site has run different articles all titled "'No Way To Prevent This,' Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens" whenever a mass shooting happens in the United States, with most of the text being copied and pasted from the previous article, just swapping out the details of the tragedy. To date, they've done more than ten of these with The Other Wiki compiling a list of each time the article was published. | |
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Firing in the Air a Lot | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_fb3c0a6 | comment |
Firing in the Air a Lot: "Iraq, Kentucky Vie For World Shooting-Into-The-Air Supremacy". | |
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Forever War | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_fbb54ba6 | comment |
Forever War: "New Evidence Suggests Middle East Conflict Predates All Human Civilization". | |
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Comically Missing the Point | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_fbd285b7 | comment |
Comically Missing the Point: Uses this humor a LOT, especially their Today Now! and In The Know segments. One example is "Autistic Reporter, Michael Falk, Enchanted By Prison's Rigid Routine," especially when Falk gets distracted by the time the prisoner, Brian Wasserman, talked about how he had to stack crates, and mostly stops listening to Falk. | |
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Foe Romance Subtext | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_fc9b6be5 | comment |
Foe Romance Subtext: "Sexual Tension Between Arafat, Sharon Reaches Breaking Point". "Massachusetts Supreme Court Orders All Citizens To Gay Marry". | |
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Robosexual | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_fcf6bca9 | comment |
Robosexual: "Ford Assembly Line Foreman Thinking About Asking Out Cute Welding Robot From Work". | |
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China Takes Over the World | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_fd41610f | comment |
In July 2009, T. Herman Zweibel sold the Onion to a Chinese salvage fishery, and the publication was quickly filled with pro-China propaganda and ads for fish byproducts. However, after a few days, the Chinese realized the collapse of the newspaper industry made their purchase worthless and gave the Onion back to its original management. This did not affect the AV Club, although they did let worried readers know that the company was indeed not sold to the Chinese. | |
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Evil-Detecting Dog | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_ff6ae1f6 | comment |
Evil-Detecting Dog: "Family Dog Barking At Evil". | |
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Evil, Inc. | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_ff934825 | comment |
Evil, Inc.: "Feds Bust Massive Child Pornography Corporation". | |
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Shown Their Work | |
| The Onion (Website) / int_ffad4e9f | comment |
Shown Their Work: This commentary from a man who won't miss The Joker's Wild for anything must've been written by a game show fan. It name checks all three hosts — Jack Barry, Bill Cullen, and even the substitute host, Jim Peck! And he says he'd miss a lot of other shows, including Bullseye (U.S.) (also a Barry-Enright show) and even The Magnificent Marble Machine (though even seeing it might be tough — all the tapes were erased by NBC). They even reference the kids' version of the show, Joker! Joker! Joker!. "I Appreciate the Muppets on a Much Deeper Level Than You". It parodies Fan Dumbinvoked, but the writer clearly knows a lot about The Muppets. | |
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The Onion (Website) |
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