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Baguette Beatdown

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type
FeatureClass
 Baguette Beatdown
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Baguette Beatdown
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baguettebeatdown
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Advertisement:propertag.cmd.push(function() { proper_display('tvtropes_content_3'); })The hero is walking away from his triumphant victory at the local grocer with his spoils and is attacked. He has no weapon to defend himself with, but fortunately he just bought some ISO-Standard Urban Groceries, so he improvises and pulls out his trusty baguette to demonstrate that pain is not just the French word for bread.
After all, bread is the staff of life. Bonus points if the opponent grabs one too, cuing a Sword Fight. Same if the victor takes a bite of the weapon on the way from the battlefield.
A Sub-Trope of Nerf Arm, Edible Bludgeon and Food Fight. A person using such a weapon may be an Chef of Iron, while anyone who can bake a loaf capable of concussing someone is a Lethal Chef.
Not what is meant by a Cockney hitting someone with his "Brown Bread".
 Baguette Beatdown
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2018-10-13T10:06:48Z
 Baguette Beatdown
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2020-06-25T17:24:14Z
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HerbieGoesToMonteCarlo
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 Baguette Beatdown / int_16a43fa1
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Baguette Beatdown
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There's a brief Baquette duel in the So Bad It's Good B-Movie Dead Right, when the main protagonist chases down the serial killer in a supermarket.
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Sluggy Freelance would like to remind you to make sure it's a baguette, and not a sandwich before fighting with it.
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Baguette Beatdown
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Scary Go Round's briefly featured a set of vigilantes including the Butcher, Baker, and Candlestick Maker. Baguette whack
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Baguette Beatdown
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In Heroes, Hiro tries to defend himself against his katana-wielding father with a baguette. It works about as well as you'd expect.
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When Things Were Rotten: In "The Capture of Robin Hood", Robin attempts to use a baguette to defend himself against the Sheriff's sword. He winds up with sliced bread.
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MI High: In "Don't Cook Now", the MI High team get in a fight in the kitchen of a restaurant. Oscar squares off against one of the bad guys who is weilding a pair of baguettes, picking up a baguette of his own to defend himself.
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Baguette Beatdown
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RWBY has the quite-literal Food Fight in the first episode of Volume 2, where besides just throwing food at each other, the members of Teams RWBY and JNPR also go to melee range, grabbing foods that simulate their Weapons of Choice. The sword-wielding Blake and Pyrrha play it title-straight while Ren uses two leeks in place of his paired daggers, Yang dons a pair of turkeys as boxing gloves, and Nora creates a warhammer by spearing a watermelon on a stick.
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Baguette Beatdown
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Almost Live!:
Used in an episode of Mind Your Manners with Billy Quan.
Also a baguette No-Holds-Barred Beatdown in this Special-K moment.
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In the Flash Power Rangers parody Go Go Parody Rangers!, the team's Megazord's Power Sword is a baguette!
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Baguette Beatdown
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In a Garfield strip from 1980, Garfield enjoys "Playtime" with various foods. The second panel is him offering to "... take that machine gun nest out with my trusty bazooka here." The bazooka in question is a baguette. In another strip, Garfield shows Jon a weird lump in the tablecloth and offers him a baguette so he can flatten it. Right before Jon does it, he suddenly notices that Odie is missing...
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Discworld:
Battle Bread is a specialty of dwarven bakers. Of course, since gravel is one of the primary ingredients, it's also almost completely inedible, and is more effective as either a blunt instrument or a motivational tool. "Well, we could camp here for the night and dig out the bread for dinner... or we could keep going and see if we run across a convenient deer or berry patch or something. Failing that, we could eat our own feet." Some pieces are specifically designed for war. For dwarfs, bread baking is an art of warfare.
A new revelation, in The Complete Discworld Atlas, is that there is such a thing as Dwarf Chocolate, which shares a catering philosophy with Dwarf Bread. It is also used as a weapon of war. It takes the form of a long rectangular block, with a line of serrated triangles of rock-hard chocolate rising from it, which in combat is used as a sword or a club. It also contains nuts. There is a suspicious resemblance to Toblerone.
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Baguette Beatdown
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In one episode of The Powerpuff Girls, Mojo Jojo beats an apparently invincible villain (due some sort of Unstoppable Rage) with his own hands and a baguette, culminating in a slow-motion final blow with the baguette. Mojo also used the baguette to whack a hapless grocery store employee earlier in the episode.
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Baguette Beatdown
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An episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm ends with Larry successfully fending off a mugger using a loaf of French Bread.
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Baguette Beatdown
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Loaves of bread are available as weapons in Phantom Brave. With proper fusion, they can be quite powerful, granting the wielder a wide range of techniques.
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Baguette Beatdown
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One less-than-serious article in an April edition of Dragon magazine included this trope taken Up to Eleven: the garlic bread golem!
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Baguette Beatdown
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Dead Ringers: "Your bakery products are weak, old man!"
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Kass Basher (formerly titled "Whack-A-Kass"), a Neopets minigame, uses a baguette as one of the "baseball bats".
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Baguette Beatdown
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The Nanny: Fran was being forced to babysit this horrible little brat (her boss is a theater producer, the brat was the son of a critic.) He is pulling around Gracie by the hair, so Fran stops him by beaning him with a baguette.
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In Bloom County, Opus lays waste to some mimes after they follow him from the grocery store with an olive loaf.
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The Goodies episode "Kung-Fu Kapers" (the Ecky Thump episode) has Tim breifly make use of a French martial art (called Oh-Hon-Hee-Hon or something like that) that involves hitting the opponent with a baguette... it has no effect whatsoever! Note that Ecky Thump is a "martial art" Bill learned when he was younger that basically revolves around hitting people with black pudding.
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In Clerks, Dante and Randal have a knock-down drag-out in the Quick Stop, during which Randal whacks Dante across the face with a loaf of bread.
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The classic Lucas Arts point and click adventure game Zak McKracken and the Alien Mindbenders features a stale baguette that could be used to kill a two-headed squirrel. You receive the baguette by annoying a baker into throwing it at you. The bread breaks the sidewalk.
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Benzaie of That Guy with the Glasses frequently references Baguette Fighting as France's national sport.
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In one of the competitions between Hu Delta Phart and Getta Loda Yu in the third game of The Spellcasting Series, you win a fight by casting a spell turning the lead Yu's weapon from a lead pipe into a loaf of bread (and a modified version of the spell turning the head Phart's weapon from a banana into a sword).
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Wakfu episode 8 "Xav the Baker" pushes this into a whole new level with a ninja-baker fighting by means of a giant Bread Golem.
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The French amateur series France Five, an Affectionate Parody of Sentai shows, has amongst its Five-Man Band the hero "Yellow Baguette". In the first episode, he fight with a sword shaped like a baguette, before switching to croissant boomerangs in later ones.
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The Boys is not a series where you would expect this trope to be deployed, but during The Frenchman's reminisces, we get Le Saintes Des Haw-Haw, where Frenchmen settle their differences by jousting on Bicycles, using baguettes as lances. Frenchie claims that his father was killed by his childhood enemy thrusting a rock-hard stale croissant into the front wheel of the bicycle, which (if true) would count as de-nerfing this trope. Then again, he is just plain crazy (as well as Ax-Crazy)...
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In one episode of Kaamelott, King Arthur tries cutting a loaf of bread but can't even dent it with his knife. He is then informed that the peasants are revolting, and hadn't brought fresh bread to the castle for weeks. Arthur leaves table to have a serious discussion with the rebels — and, after reflection, pick up the stale bread as a bludgeon.
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In Peanuts, after Peppermint Patty returns from France, she takes a loaf of French bread to class and accidentally knocks Marcie off her seat.
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Leverage:
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In Le Donjon de Naheulbeuk, the Ranger inadvertently attacks a weremole with a tuna sandwich. It ends badly for him.
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In Tibia, there is a club weapon called "Stale Bread of Ancientness". You guessed it, it's a baguette.
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In an episode of Codename: Kids Next Door, Numbuh Five grabs two baguettes to fight Stickybeard in a grocery store. The villain mocks her for choosing a "sword" made of such a soft material. She retaliates by using the baguettes to knock all the cans off nearby shelves, and onto helpless Stickybeard.
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Midsomer Murders: In "Shot at Dawn", a pair of wheelchair bound old duffers from Feuding Families get into jousting match with baguettes that interrupts Inspector Barnaby's dinner.
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In the first episode of She Spies, D.D. is forced to fight a man who grabs a fencing foil. D.D. grabs a large baguette, and proceeds to defeat him. A little later, it is shown to be subverted, as the loaf of bread was a prop from a movie set, and had been baked around a lead pipe.
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Should you eat the Stale Baguette in Kingdom of Loathing, you are mugged and beaten with it. You lose some hit points and Meat, but you still get the extra Adventures.
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In the comic book version of The Tick, Paul the Samurai bakes a baguette around his sword to sneak it past customs. When fighting ninja later on, he doesn't bother removing the outer bread coating (though he does eventually eat it).
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The following is a list of statements referring to the current page from other pages.

 Baguette Beatdown
processingCategory2
Food Tropes
 Baguette Beatdown
processingCategory2
Improvised Index
 Baguette Beatdown
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Weapons and Wielding Tropes
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Baguette Beatdown
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Baguette Beatdown
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