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Instrument of God
- 449 statements
- 88 feature instances
- 14 referencing feature instances
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Instrument of God | |
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Instrument of God | comment |
In the Matter of: Instrument of God is a web-published comedy book by Paul Robinson, which followed from In The Manner of: The Gatekeeper: The Gate Contracts. Both of which were published on the creator's blog; paul-robinson.us.Instrument is the sequel to Gatekeeper, with the same characters. It's a story about an Afterlife, operated in a computer system where everyone knows they're dead and they are aware they are inside of a computer system.The protagonist is Supervisor 246, lead supervisor of the Welcoming Department. Supporting characters include David, Supervisor 246's boss; George, the Chairman of the Afterlife who is effectively God; Joan, the police watch commander and one of 246's girlfriends; Diane, one of the members of the Board of Directors of the Afterlife; Arlene, a TV reporter who brings 246 onto a TV show where a fight breaks out; Marilyn, who becomes (heavily disliked) Administrator of the Welcoming Department after 246's friend Tom decides to go back to earth; and Andrea, the only woman (and only person) who ever beat 246 in a contest, and does so four times.Through the story, Supervisor 246 ends up being reincarnated out of the afterlife into another universe, crosses into a third, back into his own, dies, is re-reincarnated along with a friend, is killed by the friend who then blows up a hotel room to commit suicide, is visited by another friend who temporarily dies, plus waits for the death of his best friend who was a man but decided to go back to earth and be born as a woman so that when he died he could have regular sex with his friend Supervisor 246, who isn't into gay sex.Gatekeeper was published as a PDF, as was Instrument. | |
Instrument of God | fetched |
2023-11-25T15:30:01Z | |
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2023-11-25T15:30:01Z | |
Instrument of God | processingComment |
Dropped link to ColonCancer: Not a Feature - ITEM | |
Instrument of God | isPartOf |
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Instrument of God / int_15800db3 | type |
All Are Equal in Death | |
Instrument of God / int_15800db3 | comment |
All Are Equal in Death: "Now, I want you to also understand that, whatever you did on earth, whether you were the nicest religious person who almost had a halo, or the worst and most horrible slime who sold drugs to other women in exchange for allowing them to let you rent their kids out to child molesters and sell them to snuff film makers, as far as I’m concerned when you died, everything you did on earth died with you. You start over with a clean slate here." | |
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Instrument of God / int_18d15922 | type |
Title Drop | |
Instrument of God / int_18d15922 | comment |
Title Drop - Each chapter is titled from a line of dialog in that chapter. Also, the book's title is also dropped. Usually [...] with lots of ellipses [...] Quote Mine style [...] which make the chapter [...] titles look [...] as though they ought [...] to be read [...] by William Shatner. The book's title is dropped in two places Supervisor 246 assaults a police officer, then claims he was sent to show him the error of his ways and that he is this because a friend called him this once. Elizabeth, the woman who was 246's first time in the Afterlife pretends to be God, then, since she is going to play with him, gives him this nickname. | |
Instrument of God / int_18d15922 | featureApplicability |
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Instrument of God / int_19e41d8f | type |
And This Is for... | |
Instrument of God / int_19e41d8f | comment |
And This Is for...: Another man picks up a chocolate cream pie, hurls it at the picture, and says, "Tom, this is for you, you son-of-a-bitch." Gobs of chocolate goo fall off the picture and onto the floor. A woman picks up two wormy apples, throws them at the picture, and says, "This is for not telling us you decided to live yourself, asshole!" The worms crawl around and start eating pieces of the other apples. When they run out of apple pieces, they begin to cannibalize each other. The last remaining worm eats its own tail and vanishes. "So I haul off, kick him in the kneecap to distract him, then when he's screaming in pain, I bust him one with a fist to the nuts, saying 'This is for Luann!' Then I kicked him in the face." | |
Instrument of God / int_19e41d8f | featureApplicability |
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Instrument of God / int_19ebe383 | type |
Never Trust a Trailer | |
Instrument of God / int_19ebe383 | comment |
Never Trust a Trailer: The blurb blatantly lies about several aspects of the world - for instance, the rapist is most definitely not a victim of a horrible crime. | |
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Instrument of God / int_237404cc | type |
Ironic Echo | |
Instrument of God / int_237404cc | comment |
Ironic Echo: Arlene to 246: Sir, you didn't answer my question. Later, 246 to Arlene: To quote something you said to me, "Ma'am, you didn't answer my question." | |
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Instrument of God / int_27daa62b | type |
Carry the One | |
Instrument of God / int_27daa62b | comment |
Carry the One: Doreen is pointing out to David that Supervisor 246 didn't make him pay 246 five favors for the service he performed, but five gross favors: | |
Instrument of God / int_27daa62b | featureApplicability |
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Instrument of God | hasFeature |
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Instrument of God / int_2821d59c | type |
Anatomically Impossible Sex | |
Instrument of God / int_2821d59c | comment |
Anatomically Impossible Sex: "We have fun in ways I’d never have dreamed of trying on earth because I’d probably hurt a woman for real if I did them there. One time [his primary girlfriend] tried bending over backwards to see if it could be done, we could do it but it was weird and we didn’t do it again, but we could never have done it on earth because it would have broken her spine and probably cracked a couple of ribs." | |
Instrument of God / int_2821d59c | featureApplicability |
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Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_2821d59c | |
Instrument of God / int_2a8a7ea6 | type |
Bury Your Gays | |
Instrument of God / int_2a8a7ea6 | comment |
Bury Your Gays / Hide Your Lesbians: Averted. When Supervisor 246, who is lead (heterosexual) male supervisor, becomes Department Administrator, he calls in the lead gay supervisor and the lead lesbian supervisor and asks both of them to handle his old position temporarily until he can get a replacement. The implication is both of them have essentially the same status as he did when he was a supervisor. | |
Instrument of God / int_2a8a7ea6 | featureApplicability |
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Instrument of God / int_2b3bd260 | type |
Readings Are Off the Scale | |
Instrument of God / int_2b3bd260 | comment |
Readings Are Off the Scale - The female orgasm meter, again | |
Instrument of God / int_2b3bd260 | featureApplicability |
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Instrument of God / int_2b3bd260 | featureConfidence |
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Instrument of God / int_2dff6b95 | type |
Two Guys and a Girl | |
Instrument of God / int_2dff6b95 | comment |
Two Guys and a Girl | |
Instrument of God / int_2dff6b95 | featureApplicability |
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Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_2dff6b95 | |
Instrument of God / int_31c101b9 | type |
Artificial Afterlife | |
Instrument of God / int_31c101b9 | comment |
Artificial Afterlife: The world 246 inhabits is operated inside of a computer system, and the appearance is much like a clone of earth, more-or-less similar to any urban center in any ordinary city in the real world, minus the dirt and slums (unless someone goes to the trouble to add them, like they did in the Frontier) along with popular virtual world technology such as teleporters, and jump tubes (like an elevator, only you zoom up or down very fast, and have a very gentle landing at the end.) | |
Instrument of God / int_31c101b9 | featureApplicability |
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Instrument of God / int_36e1cea | type |
The Punishment Is the Crime | |
Instrument of God / int_36e1cea | comment |
The Punishment Is the Crime: 246 institutes a policy in which rapists who are caught in the Frontier will be punished by tricking them into either having sex with or raping a woman, at which point, he can't stop having sex with her, including that he starts having unbearable levels of orgasm. | |
Instrument of God / int_36e1cea | featureApplicability |
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Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_36e1cea | |
Instrument of God / int_36ec2454 | type |
Rule of Pool | |
Instrument of God / int_36ec2454 | comment |
Rule of Pool | |
Instrument of God / int_36ec2454 | featureApplicability |
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Instrument of God / int_36ec2454 | featureConfidence |
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Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_36ec2454 | |
Instrument of God / int_3722d66c | type |
Hold Your Hippogriffs | |
Instrument of God / int_3722d66c | comment |
Hold Your Hippogriffs - Since people can't die in the Afterlife, you can't say "As serious as a heart attack." However, if someone does something really bad, they are sentenced by the court to be "involuntarily recycled," i.e. returned to earth forcibly to start over as a baby, the equivalent of Capital Punishment. So, when someone really means it, they say, "As serious as involuntary recycling." | |
Instrument of God / int_3722d66c | featureApplicability |
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Instrument of God / int_3c5ae1a1 | type |
Schizo Tech | |
Instrument of God / int_3c5ae1a1 | comment |
Schizo Tech: One of the universes 246 visits hasn't really developed liquid fuels like gasoline or diesel (but has advanced battery technology), so a woman who met 246 was driving to a conference in a horse-drawn carriage rented at the train station from Hertz Rent-a-Wagon, catches a coal fired ramjet-powered steam locomotive reaching speeds above 200 MPH, catches an electric trolley, then rides a bicycle home, where, before she has sex with 246, has each of them bite on a disposable blood testing device (which looks like a home pregnancy test kit) that shows they're both clean of six of the seven common venereal diseases (they both have Herpes Simplex I, i.e. cold sores). | |
Instrument of God / int_3c5ae1a1 | featureApplicability |
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Instrument of God / int_3c5ae1a1 | featureConfidence |
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Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_3c5ae1a1 | |
Instrument of God / int_3d699462 | type |
Curb-Stomp Battle | |
Instrument of God / int_3d699462 | comment |
Curb-Stomp Battle: Andrea is in the prisoner law library and runs into Barney the rapist. She taunts him into agreeing to fight her, whereupon she proceeds to beat the tar out of him. | |
Instrument of God / int_3d699462 | featureApplicability |
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Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_3d699462 | |
Instrument of God / int_3ed8a8b9 | type |
I'm Melting! | |
Instrument of God / int_3ed8a8b9 | comment |
I'm Melting!: 246, in the Bad Guy Bar, wearing a wizard's cloak, says this (and starts shrinking) after someone throws a pitcher of beer on him. | |
Instrument of God / int_3ed8a8b9 | featureApplicability |
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Instrument of God / int_3ed8a8b9 | featureConfidence |
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Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_3ed8a8b9 | |
Instrument of God / int_3fbdb8aa | type |
Quote Mine | |
Instrument of God / int_3fbdb8aa | comment |
Usually [...] with lots of ellipses [...] Quote Mine style [...] which make the chapter [...] titles look [...] as though they ought [...] to be read [...] by William Shatner. | |
Instrument of God / int_3fbdb8aa | featureApplicability |
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Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_3fbdb8aa | |
Instrument of God / int_44c55e9d | type |
Teleportation with Drawbacks | |
Instrument of God / int_44c55e9d | comment |
Teleportation with Drawbacks: In the Afterlife they have public kiosks where you can select a destination, and if you can afford the bribe to get the privilege, you can obtain the ability to teleport directly, similar to being able to buy a car in our world. Also, rooms with special need for privacy can use an electronic lock that prohibits anyone (except the C Chairman) to teleport into that room. | |
Instrument of God / int_44c55e9d | featureApplicability |
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Instrument of God / int_44c55e9d | featureConfidence |
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Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_44c55e9d | |
Instrument of God / int_4d7a7d53 | type |
I'd Tell You, but Then I'd Have to Kill You | |
Instrument of God / int_4d7a7d53 | comment |
I'd Tell You, but Then I'd Have to Kill You: The author breaks the fourth wall to tell a story about his relationship with the intelligence community in an indirect way, then actually uses this phrase to explain why he can't be more direct. | |
Instrument of God / int_4d7a7d53 | featureApplicability |
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Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_4d7a7d53 | |
Instrument of God / int_52d1f46e | type |
Not What It Looks Like | |
Instrument of God / int_52d1f46e | comment |
Not What It Looks Like: George Green has to explain to his boss what happened with Lynn in the Men's restroom: | |
Instrument of God / int_52d1f46e | featureApplicability |
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Instrument of God / int_52d1f46e | featureConfidence |
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Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_52d1f46e | |
Instrument of God / int_5534431f | type |
Money for Nothing | |
Instrument of God / int_5534431f | comment |
Money for Nothing: | |
Instrument of God / int_5534431f | featureApplicability |
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Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_5534431f | |
Instrument of God / int_55940b68 | type |
Doorstopper | |
Instrument of God / int_55940b68 | comment |
Doorstopper - 167 chapters, over 700 pages. | |
Instrument of God / int_55940b68 | featureApplicability |
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Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_55940b68 | |
Instrument of God / int_5a4d64c3 | type |
Only One Afterlife | |
Instrument of God / int_5a4d64c3 | comment |
Only One Afterlife: Everyone goes to the same afterlife, no matter what they did on earth. Only difference is you go to a specific Language Section, depending on what language that you think in, the Arabic Language Section, the English Language Section, the French Language Section, the Spanish Language Section, etc. | |
Instrument of God / int_5a4d64c3 | featureApplicability |
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Instrument of God / int_5a4d64c3 | featureConfidence |
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Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_5a4d64c3 | |
Instrument of God / int_5a8f3057 | type |
Hand Signals | |
Instrument of God / int_5a8f3057 | comment |
Hand Signals: When a female and the male welcomer she was with have an issue settled and would otherwise go back to his room to have sex, 246 waves his hands at them, saying "Go on, go back to having fun, scoot!" When some people in the Frontier are playing tug-of-war using the arms of a man to try to capture him, so he can be sold as a sex slave, 246 sees them, blows a whistle, and taps his finger in the air. They drop him and run off to loot goods from a burst trailer. When Wilson meets 246, he bows on his knees and prays before him, mistaking him for God. 246 holds up his hand, saying "Stop. Don't pray to me. If you need to send me a message, use e-mail." | |
Instrument of God / int_5a8f3057 | featureApplicability |
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Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_5a8f3057 | |
Instrument of God / int_5a9f7f08 | type |
The Lifestream | |
Instrument of God / int_5a9f7f08 | comment |
The Lifestream | |
Instrument of God / int_5a9f7f08 | featureApplicability |
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Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_5a9f7f08 | |
Instrument of God / int_5c1ec068 | type |
Big Red Button | |
Instrument of God / int_5c1ec068 | comment |
Big Red Button: "I didn’t know what to do, and I saw this great big red button marked ‘PANIC’ that said, ‘In Emergency Press This Button.’ So I did and that’s when everyone showed up.” | |
Instrument of God / int_5c1ec068 | featureApplicability |
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Instrument of God / int_5c1ec068 | |
Instrument of God / int_5c8fa553 | type |
Level Ate | |
Instrument of God / int_5c8fa553 | comment |
Level Ate: There's a place where 246 punches in a wall, and it's made of vanilla wafer; later, it mentions there are swimming pools filled with soda, with jello, and with alcoholic beverages. | |
Instrument of God / int_5c8fa553 | featureApplicability |
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Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_5c8fa553 | |
Instrument of God / int_5e65514f | type |
Afterlife Welcome | |
Instrument of God / int_5e65514f | comment |
Afterlife Welcome: The freshly-dead person sees a tunnel of light, where their former friends can watch them when they arrive. We get to see how several people, including Supervisor 246, are welcomed into the Afterlife. In fact,they have a whole government department, the Welcoming Department, dedicated to this function. | |
Instrument of God / int_5e65514f | featureApplicability |
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Instrument of God / int_5e65514f | |
Instrument of God / int_619b5e7e | type |
Professionals Do It on Desks | |
Instrument of God / int_619b5e7e | comment |
Professionals Do It on Desks: To piss off Mias, 246 suggests if Mias was interested he could do this to him. | |
Instrument of God / int_619b5e7e | featureApplicability |
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Instrument of God / int_619b5e7e | |
Instrument of God / int_621b5533 | type |
Your Universe or Mine? | |
Instrument of God / int_621b5533 | comment |
Your Universe or Mine? - 246 has sex in more than one universe other than the one he came from. | |
Instrument of God / int_621b5533 | featureApplicability |
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Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_621b5533 | |
Instrument of God / int_639aa0cd | type |
Did You Just Have Sex? | |
Instrument of God / int_639aa0cd | comment |
Did You Just Have Sex?: 246 tells about his first time, and how after they finish and he's sitting in the living room feeling her up afterwards, her boyfriend knocks on the front door. So 246 decides to leave. As he tries to walk out, the boyfriend asks this, in the form "Did you just fuck her?". | |
Instrument of God / int_639aa0cd | featureApplicability |
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Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_639aa0cd | |
Instrument of God / int_657f77e4 | type |
Caught with Your Pants Down | |
Instrument of God / int_657f77e4 | comment |
Caught with Your Pants Down: The editor of a major newspaper recommends in an editorial retroactive punishment for Barney the rapist: since he was given a sex change, then also be a (now female) sex slave servicing hundreds of guys. since no law prohibits it. This wanton encouragment of violating a person's civil rights infuriates 246: "I can’t believe this article. I feel like I’ve been caught with my pants down, and not when it’s with a woman, either!" | |
Instrument of God / int_657f77e4 | featureApplicability |
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Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_657f77e4 | |
Instrument of God / int_660d1f3e | type |
Amusement Park of Doom | |
Instrument of God / int_660d1f3e | comment |
Amusement Park of Doom: "If you go through this door, you will die." | |
Instrument of God / int_660d1f3e | featureApplicability |
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Instrument of God / int_660d1f3e | featureConfidence |
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Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_660d1f3e | |
Instrument of God / int_68ddad6b | type |
Pedestrian Crushes Car | |
Instrument of God / int_68ddad6b | comment |
Pedestrian Crushes Car - In this case, it's a semi truck that tries to run down 246's boss David. But he's in a wizard's cloak, which gives him invulnerability... | |
Instrument of God / int_68ddad6b | featureApplicability |
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Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_68ddad6b | |
Instrument of God / int_6b983bf7 | type |
Unstoppable Rage | |
Instrument of God / int_6b983bf7 | comment |
Unstoppable Rage - "I will come down on all of you worse than Keyser Söze..." | |
Instrument of God / int_6b983bf7 | featureApplicability |
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Instrument of God / int_6b983bf7 | featureConfidence |
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Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_6b983bf7 | |
Instrument of God / int_6bf88d1a | type |
Two Words: Added Emphasis | |
Instrument of God / int_6bf88d1a | comment |
Two Words: Added Emphasis: After 246 crosses back into the real world, George informs 246 that when George let 246 have sex with George's wife Lynn, she got pregnant, and George is going to pretend to be the father. 246 is concerned, there might be issues of paternity later on if George pretends to be the father of another man's child. George says for all anyone will know it is his. 246 doesn't get it, so George says, "Two Words: plastic surgery." That's when it hits 246. The clone body he is in is George's clone with 246's face. More than that, George and Lynn had planned this years earlier, and 246 forgot George had told him then that they were going to. | |
Instrument of God / int_6bf88d1a | featureApplicability |
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Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_6bf88d1a | |
Instrument of God / int_6ca5a8c2 | type |
Master Computer | |
Instrument of God / int_6ca5a8c2 | comment |
Master Computer Uh, not quite. Page 542 (PDF page 582) makes it clear, the system consists of billions of interconnected sub processors, something equivalent to a beowulf cluster of several billion PCs. So while people refer to the system as if it were a single large machine, it's actually a gigantic cluster of lots of computers networked together. | |
Instrument of God / int_6ca5a8c2 | featureApplicability |
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Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_6ca5a8c2 | |
Instrument of God / int_6f83b232 | type |
Wish-Fulfillment | |
Instrument of God / int_6f83b232 | comment |
Wish-Fulfillment | |
Instrument of God / int_6f83b232 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God / int_6f83b232 | featureConfidence |
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Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_6f83b232 | |
Instrument of God / int_7142b38a | type |
The Grim Reaper | |
Instrument of God / int_7142b38a | comment |
The Grim Reaper - "Calm down, Grim, you didn't do anything wrong." | |
Instrument of God / int_7142b38a | featureApplicability |
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Instrument of God / int_7142b38a | featureConfidence |
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Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_7142b38a | |
Instrument of God / int_716d9138 | type |
Bar Brawl | |
Instrument of God / int_716d9138 | comment |
Bar Brawl: "Two guys in the back were beating the crap out of each other, and nobody was noticing." | |
Instrument of God / int_716d9138 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God / int_716d9138 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_716d9138 | |
Instrument of God / int_76c7754f | type |
All of Them | |
Instrument of God / int_76c7754f | comment |
All of Them: David gets a call telling him some supervisors have quit in protest over Administrator Marilyn's treatment of Supervisor 246. "How many? All of them? ... Oh shit, that's bad." All 4,306 of them, which means the courts grind to a halt and they can't handle disputes. Actually, it's only 4,305, which is worse than all of them quitting. One supervisor didn't quit, that way Marilyn can't simply replace everyone. | |
Instrument of God / int_76c7754f | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God / int_76c7754f | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_76c7754f | |
Instrument of God / int_798a9e41 | type |
Auto Erotica | |
Instrument of God / int_798a9e41 | comment |
Auto Erotica: 246 and Ellen have sex in a limousine. | |
Instrument of God / int_798a9e41 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God / int_798a9e41 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_798a9e41 | |
Instrument of God / int_7dbfa45b | type |
Spy Speak | |
Instrument of God / int_7dbfa45b | comment |
Spy Speak: When the Chairman is going to give Joan an order to do something over the phone, he has to authenticate that he is talking to Joan, and that she can authenticate that it is actually him: | |
Instrument of God / int_7dbfa45b | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God / int_7dbfa45b | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_7dbfa45b | |
Instrument of God / int_7f2c7fae | type |
Explosive Instrumentation | |
Instrument of God / int_7f2c7fae | comment |
Explosive Instrumentation: The female orgasm meter. | |
Instrument of God / int_7f2c7fae | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God / int_7f2c7fae | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_7f2c7fae | |
Instrument of God / int_835d1cd2 | type |
Satellite Love Interest | |
Instrument of God / int_835d1cd2 | comment |
Satellite Love Interest: Wilfred to 246; Well, speaking of too much of a good thing, I wanted to tell you thanks for taking on Terry as another one of your regular girlfriends. I found that since you started seeing her more she doesn’t have to see me as much. She’s cut me back to once a day. | |
Instrument of God / int_835d1cd2 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God / int_835d1cd2 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_835d1cd2 | |
Instrument of God / int_8409a385 | type |
Exactly What It Says on the Tin | |
Instrument of God / int_8409a385 | comment |
Exactly What It Says on the Tin: David: I have a question. What does ‘defenestrate’ mean? 246: Exactly what I did. To throw [someone] out a window. | |
Instrument of God / int_8409a385 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God / int_8409a385 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_8409a385 | |
Instrument of God / int_86f27af6 | type |
Bait-and-Switch Tyrant | |
Instrument of God / int_86f27af6 | comment |
Bait-and-Switch Tyrant: Marilyn, the deputy Administrator and later Administrator of the Welcoming Department is initially a vile boss. But it's okay, she's only like that because she was molested as a child! Once she gets some Intimate Psychotherapy, she's much more reasonable. Somehow. See also Sugar-and-Ice Personality below. | |
Instrument of God / int_86f27af6 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God / int_86f27af6 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_86f27af6 | |
Instrument of God / int_8ba5e417 | type |
Refugee from TV Land | |
Instrument of God / int_8ba5e417 | comment |
Refugee from TV Land - "More about the star of the TV show Instrument of God, Supervisor 246." | |
Instrument of God / int_8ba5e417 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God / int_8ba5e417 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_8ba5e417 | |
Instrument of God / int_941896b | type |
Shaming the Mob | |
Instrument of God / int_941896b | comment |
Shaming the Mob - "I'm going to stop this mob with a piece of paper." | |
Instrument of God / int_941896b | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God / int_941896b | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_941896b | |
Instrument of God / int_984763bb | type |
555 | |
Instrument of God / int_984763bb | comment |
555: When asked what his Social Security Number was when he was alive, 246 intentionally gives out the number 078-05-1120 (to see if the other person recognizes it), the number that was retired by Social Security after Woolworth's used it as an example in their wallets. | |
Instrument of God / int_984763bb | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God / int_984763bb | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_984763bb | |
Instrument of God / int_99213234 | type |
Death Takes a Holiday | |
Instrument of God / int_99213234 | comment |
Death Takes a Holiday: "If the queue backups get too much, people on earth stop dying. Someone is bound to notice." | |
Instrument of God / int_99213234 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God / int_99213234 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_99213234 | |
Instrument of God / int_99385626 | type |
Once for Yes, Twice for No | |
Instrument of God / int_99385626 | comment |
Once for Yes, Twice for No: 246 is on earth and is critically injured. To find out his wishes (whether or not he wants to be taken off the respirator, in which case he will die). He is questioned by reading the letters of the alphabet and told to blink twice at each correct letter. | |
Instrument of God / int_99385626 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God / int_99385626 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_99385626 | |
Instrument of God / int_999b994b | type |
Dead to Begin With | |
Instrument of God / int_999b994b | comment |
Dead to Begin With: | |
Instrument of God / int_999b994b | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God / int_999b994b | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_999b994b | |
Instrument of God / int_9b55df1f | type |
No Animosity in the Afterlife | |
Instrument of God / int_9b55df1f | comment |
No Animosity in the Afterlife: Averted; a serial killer had to defend himself when he met one of his victims, and an intelligence agency employee is informed he is the target of vendettas by people he assinated. | |
Instrument of God / int_9b55df1f | featureApplicability |
-1.0 | |
Instrument of God / int_9b55df1f | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_9b55df1f | |
Instrument of God / int_a3c6c2b7 | type |
"Facing the Bullets" One-Liner | |
Instrument of God / int_a3c6c2b7 | comment |
"Facing the Bullets" One-Liner - "Whomever you are, kill me right now before I fucking sue you." | |
Instrument of God / int_a3c6c2b7 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God / int_a3c6c2b7 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_a3c6c2b7 | |
Instrument of God / int_aa8d0ef0 | type |
Spell My Name with a "The" | |
Instrument of God / int_aa8d0ef0 | comment |
Spell My Name with a "The": the people in 246's world are in different "countries" based on the language they can think in, the English Language Section, the Spanish Language Section, the French Language Section, etc. The means to travel between them is a road named "The." The full name of the travel path is "The Road." | |
Instrument of God / int_aa8d0ef0 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God / int_aa8d0ef0 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_aa8d0ef0 | |
Instrument of God / int_aaece264 | type |
Rousing Speech | |
Instrument of God / int_aaece264 | comment |
Rousing Speech - "This is how a man, lives. This is how a man, dies." | |
Instrument of God / int_aaece264 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God / int_aaece264 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_aaece264 | |
Instrument of God / int_abc57fc1 | type |
There Are No Rules | |
Instrument of God / int_abc57fc1 | comment |
There Are No Rules - From The Sign by the Right of the Road: "There is no law except the Law of the Jungle in the Frontier, anyone may do anything to anyone out there. Rule #1 doesn't apply there, there are no rules." | |
Instrument of God / int_abc57fc1 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God / int_abc57fc1 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_abc57fc1 | |
Instrument of God / int_ad42c163 | type |
Alphabet News Network | |
Instrument of God / int_ad42c163 | comment |
Alphabet News Network: 246: Did you hear about that incident a few months ago at the Picketing Zone near the Main Entrance? Akers: Yeah, the riot, I saw it on ANN, the Afterlife News Network. | |
Instrument of God / int_ad42c163 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God / int_ad42c163 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_ad42c163 | |
Instrument of God / int_ae3d6438 | type |
Deadpan Snarker | |
Instrument of God / int_ae3d6438 | comment |
Deadpan Snarker: | |
Instrument of God / int_ae3d6438 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God / int_ae3d6438 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_ae3d6438 | |
Instrument of God / int_afd71b8a | type |
Inside a Computer System | |
Instrument of God / int_afd71b8a | comment |
Inside a Computer System | |
Instrument of God / int_afd71b8a | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God / int_afd71b8a | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_afd71b8a | |
Instrument of God / int_b532f68b | type |
Everybody Has Lots of Sex | |
Instrument of God / int_b532f68b | comment |
Everybody Has Lots of Sex: There are no diseases and women can't get pregnant in the Afterlife: 246 smiled. “We’ve got all of eternity, you know of anything better to do?" Later, 246, as a judge in court, says to an accused, “Son, around here most everyone has a lot of sex with many different people. Don’t nobody make no mind about it. We don’t have marriage rules here and you can’t stop someone else from having sex if they want to. All you can do is say you won’t have it with them." | |
Instrument of God / int_b532f68b | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God / int_b532f68b | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_b532f68b | |
Instrument of God / int_b53ba00f | type |
Easy Sex Change | |
Instrument of God / int_b53ba00f | comment |
Easy Sex Change: The woman who causes the female orgasm meter to explode was born a man, but was transgender. When he becomes a woman after he dies, she is now a very happy (and very boy-crazy) woman who has no sex hangups. Barney the rapist is ordered to have his sex changed into a woman as a result of his conviction, and basically happens as soon as the judge issues the order to Central Computer. Maria comes back after dying, and is literally a heterosexual bisexual, being able to choose to change from female (where she has sex with men only) to male (where he has sex with women only) at will. | |
Instrument of God / int_b53ba00f | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God / int_b53ba00f | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_b53ba00f | |
Instrument of God / int_b70b1e3b | type |
Institutional Apparel | |
Instrument of God / int_b70b1e3b | comment |
Institutional Apparel: Barney the rapist is paraded around in public in a standard prison jumpsuit. Lime green with the words "Prisoner of the Welcoming Department" on his back in orange. | |
Instrument of God / int_b70b1e3b | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God / int_b70b1e3b | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_b70b1e3b | |
Instrument of God / int_b84adf36 | type |
By "No", I Mean "Yes" | |
Instrument of God / int_b84adf36 | comment |
By "No", I Mean "Yes": From The Sign By the Right of the Road: There is no law except the Law of the Jungle in the Frontier, anyone may do anything to anyone out there. Rule #1 doesn’t apply there, there are no rules. Well, there is one rule. The Rule of Promise. | |
Instrument of God / int_b84adf36 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God / int_b84adf36 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_b84adf36 | |
Instrument of God / int_b9e8ad28 | type |
The Multiverse | |
Instrument of God / int_b9e8ad28 | comment |
The Multiverse | |
Instrument of God / int_b9e8ad28 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God / int_b9e8ad28 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_b9e8ad28 | |
Instrument of God / int_bc74ef27 | type |
Berserk Button | |
Instrument of God / int_bc74ef27 | comment |
Berserk Button: If a person who is dead in the Afterlife decides to go back to earth to be born again, that's being "recycled." If they decide to be reborn in the opposite sex, that's called "getting a Real Sex Change." Do not be stupid and ask Supervisor 246 when someone will be back from getting a real sex change. He will know you're so cluelessly ignorant he might punch your lights out. | |
Instrument of God / int_bc74ef27 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God / int_bc74ef27 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_bc74ef27 | |
Instrument of God / int_bfa7a7e7 | type |
God of the Dead | |
Instrument of God / int_bfa7a7e7 | comment |
God of the Dead: Dr. George Green, Chairman of the Board of Directors of the Afterlife. Considered either a Benevolent Dictator (as 246 says) or an Absolute Despot (as George himself says), because he can do anything possible within the Afterlife, but... | |
Instrument of God / int_bfa7a7e7 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God / int_bfa7a7e7 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_bfa7a7e7 | |
Instrument of God / int_c75df49a | type |
Shout-Out | |
Instrument of God / int_c75df49a | comment |
Shout-Out - "Have you ever seen 'Star Trek'? We have transporters here, just like they do." This is only one example; there are tons of shout-outs to the author's favorite books/movies/TV shows, perhaps most frequently Robert A. Heinlein, Ayn Rand, Star Trek, and The Matrix. | |
Instrument of God / int_c75df49a | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God / int_c75df49a | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_c75df49a | |
Instrument of God / int_ca87e3ec | type |
No Name Given | |
Instrument of God / int_ca87e3ec | comment |
No Name Given: We don't learn 246's real name. | |
Instrument of God / int_ca87e3ec | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God / int_ca87e3ec | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_ca87e3ec | |
Instrument of God / int_cbf05a02 | type |
Vagina Dentata | |
Instrument of God / int_cbf05a02 | comment |
Vagina Dentata - Averted, maybe. 246 tells a rapist (truthfully) that these women don't have dentatas, they cannot hurt them. What 246 doesn't say is if the man rapes one of these women, he can't get out of her, can't stop having sex, and will be subjected to unbearable levels of orgasm. | |
Instrument of God / int_cbf05a02 | featureApplicability |
-1.0 | |
Instrument of God / int_cbf05a02 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_cbf05a02 | |
Instrument of God / int_d2c0e2ed | type |
Schmuck Bait | |
Instrument of God / int_d2c0e2ed | comment |
Schmuck Bait - "But he had you give him five gross favors. Five times a gross, 144." | |
Instrument of God / int_d2c0e2ed | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God / int_d2c0e2ed | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_d2c0e2ed | |
Instrument of God / int_d50e7e13 | type |
White Void Room | |
Instrument of God / int_d50e7e13 | comment |
White Void Room: A magistrate tells two lawyers how they have a "stasis field" that suspends people in another area where two minutes passes in their world no matter how long the person is in the field. In this case it's used to send Barney the rapist to the prison law library, but in cases of misconduct or bad behavior ("sending them to Coventry") it can be turned into a completely white room. The magistrate even uses a Shout-Out to the White Room from The Matrix. It's used for solitary confinement for disciplinary cases, generally one minute, but it's considered so bad a punishment that the maximum time the courts will allow them to use it is one hour. | |
Instrument of God / int_d50e7e13 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God / int_d50e7e13 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_d50e7e13 | |
Instrument of God / int_d52d28b6 | type |
Hypocrite | |
Instrument of God / int_d52d28b6 | comment |
Hypocrite - "Somehow, 246, you seem hypocritical." "It took you this long to figure that out? You're not as bright as I thought you were." | |
Instrument of God / int_d52d28b6 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God / int_d52d28b6 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_d52d28b6 | |
Instrument of God / int_d7ecbd57 | type |
You're Insane! | |
Instrument of God / int_d7ecbd57 | comment |
You're Insane! - Mias 808's response to the bet that 246 suggests in Chapter 22 (details on the bet in question are best read on the PDF): | |
Instrument of God / int_d7ecbd57 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God / int_d7ecbd57 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_d7ecbd57 | |
Instrument of God / int_daba19f1 | type |
Portal Cut | |
Instrument of God / int_daba19f1 | comment |
Portal Cut - The red square 246 will stand within to return to the real world in his universe. | |
Instrument of God / int_daba19f1 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God / int_daba19f1 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_daba19f1 | |
Instrument of God / int_daba1b82 | type |
Finishing Each Other's Sentences | |
Instrument of God / int_daba1b82 | comment |
Finishing Each Other's Sentences - A woman has sex with a guy, and mentions over the phone how "he looked so happy, like, well, you know..." and 246 and Joan do know, since they're dead in an afterlife, they both simultaneously finish the punch line, "like he'd died and gone to heaven!" | |
Instrument of God / int_daba1b82 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God / int_daba1b82 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_daba1b82 | |
Instrument of God / int_dd891949 | type |
Who Writes This Crap?! | |
Instrument of God / int_dd891949 | comment |
Who Writes This Crap?!: In an outtake at the end of the book, originally, a part of the book's dialog is so bad, that 246 actually stops the story, then calls the writer to complain, telling him he'd better fix the story before 246 quits to find a better writer. | |
Instrument of God / int_dd891949 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God / int_dd891949 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_dd891949 | |
Instrument of God / int_e069fae8 | type |
Bad Guy Bar | |
Instrument of God / int_e069fae8 | comment |
Bad Guy Bar: "It was the typical bar like you'd find on earth, with big guys looking like bikers." | |
Instrument of God / int_e069fae8 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God / int_e069fae8 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_e069fae8 | |
Instrument of God / int_e11b003d | type |
Translation Convention | |
Instrument of God / int_e11b003d | comment |
Translation Convention - "What are guys like me, who don't speak or read English, supposed to do?" | |
Instrument of God / int_e11b003d | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God / int_e11b003d | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_e11b003d | |
Instrument of God / int_e24a1629 | type |
Sugar-and-Ice Personality | |
Instrument of God / int_e24a1629 | comment |
Sugar-and-Ice Personality: Administrator Marilyn, first is cold, then after she gets pushed into accepting Intimate Psychotherapy, she for some reason becomes much more pleasant; see Bait-and-Switch Tyrant, above. | |
Instrument of God / int_e24a1629 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God / int_e24a1629 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_e24a1629 | |
Instrument of God / int_e4bf37d8 | type |
Healthy in Heaven | |
Instrument of God / int_e4bf37d8 | comment |
Healthy in Heaven: Your welcomer will fix any problems you have, such as rolling your physical age back, so that you're young again. You also automatically have no physical infirmities, and diseases don't exist there, either. | |
Instrument of God / int_e4bf37d8 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God / int_e4bf37d8 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_e4bf37d8 | |
Instrument of God / int_ee77f7f0 | type |
Wall Slump | |
Instrument of God / int_ee77f7f0 | comment |
Wall Slump - After Leroy is shot, his body falls backward and slumps to the floor. | |
Instrument of God / int_ee77f7f0 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God / int_ee77f7f0 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_ee77f7f0 | |
Instrument of God / int_ee7a60e9 | type |
One-Steve Limit | |
Instrument of God / int_ee7a60e9 | comment |
One-Steve Limit: Averted, as there is George, the Chairman of the Afterlife, and George, a rollercoaster maintenance technician. | |
Instrument of God / int_ee7a60e9 | featureApplicability |
-1.0 | |
Instrument of God / int_ee7a60e9 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_ee7a60e9 | |
Instrument of God / int_f2877d9e | type |
IncrediblyLamePun | |
Instrument of God / int_f2877d9e | comment |
Incredibly Lame Pun — 246 says "no pun intended" pretty much every time he uses the word "come" in a sentence. If you're a ten-year-old boy, this will be funny the first few times. By the end of the book, though... | |
Instrument of God / int_f2877d9e | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God / int_f2877d9e | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
Instrument of God | hasFeature |
Instrument of God / int_f2877d9e | |
Instrument of God / int_f7903e81 | type |
That's Gotta Hurt | |
Instrument of God / int_f7903e81 | comment |
That's Gotta Hurt - David watches in horrid fascination as the [roller coaster] train reaches the top, the last car detaches as the rest of the train roars on towards the drop while the single car veers off to the right, continues on about 10 meters before coming to the end of the track and flying off into space. The occupant screams out in terror as the car falls. George looks at 246. "I'll bet that's gotta hurt." | |
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