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Real Ultimate Power
- 155 statements
- 29 feature instances
- 3 referencing feature instances
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Real Ultimate Power | |
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Real Ultimate Power | comment |
Real Ultimate Power: The Official Ninja Book is a very dark and satirical book, by an unknown author going by the pseudonym of Robert Hamburger. It's based off the parody website of the same name.Robert Hamburger loves ninjas, and considers them the epitome of awesomeness. Because they are so coo...er, totally sweet, he has to share his "knowledge" of the ways of the ninja with everyone, including their prowess at flipping out, killing people, and having sex. This is the intended purpose of this book.However, in between the various discourses about ninja "facts," snippets of Robert's real life get disclosed, revealing the truth: that Robert is an extremely lonely and maladjusted teenager with a metric ton of personal issues, using his ninja fantasies as a form of escapism. | |
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Dropped link to themoreyouknow: Not a Feature - UNKNOWN | |
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Real Ultimate Power / int_15177ded | type |
The Runaway | |
Real Ultimate Power / int_15177ded | comment |
The Runaway: There are several "real" accounts of kids who ran away to become ninjas. The ending implies that Robert himself ran away from home with Francine. | |
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Real Ultimate Power / int_1871eaca | type |
Strangely Arousing | |
Real Ultimate Power / int_1871eaca | comment |
Strangely Arousing: Robert brags about popping his first boner, obtained when he peeked on a woman changing her clothes and saw a fat orange cat licking itself. | |
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Real Ultimate Power / int_1c7a10ec | type |
Pirates vs. Ninjas | |
Real Ultimate Power / int_1c7a10ec | comment |
Pirates vs. Ninjas: The Trope Maker, as far as we can tell. | |
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Real Ultimate Power / int_2484396e | type |
Know-Nothing Know-It-All | |
Real Ultimate Power / int_2484396e | comment |
Know-Nothing Know-It-All: It's readily apparent Robert doesn't have much of a clue about most of the things he talks about, starting with ninjas. | |
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Real Ultimate Power / int_5037b961 | type |
Et Tu, Brute? | |
Real Ultimate Power / int_5037b961 | comment |
Et Tu, Brute?: Robert feels chronically betrayed by friends who like him less than he feels they should. This comes to a head when he finds out John is babysitting someone else on the side. | |
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Real Ultimate Power / int_62c556bf | type |
X-Ray Vision | |
Real Ultimate Power / int_62c556bf | comment |
X-Ray Vision: Ninjas have it. Given the kind of person Robert is, guess how he says they use it. | |
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Real Ultimate Power / int_66755d29 | type |
Author Avatar | |
Real Ultimate Power / int_66755d29 | comment |
Author Avatar: In-book, the stories featuring Roberq the little hippo. | |
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Real Ultimate Power / int_6a3c49f | type |
Direct Line to the Author | |
Real Ultimate Power / int_6a3c49f | comment |
Direct Line to the Author: Played with, with all the "real" accounts of ninjas or people who have encountered ninjas. | |
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Real Ultimate Power / int_6b983bf7 | type |
Unstoppable Rage | |
Real Ultimate Power / int_6b983bf7 | comment |
Unstoppable Rage: When they're not having sex, ninjas are constantly "flipping out and killing people". | |
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Real Ultimate Power / int_6c00ba30 | type |
Musical Assassin | |
Real Ultimate Power / int_6c00ba30 | comment |
Musical Assassin: Ninjas are apparently so awesome they can make enemies explode just by strumming on guitars. | |
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Real Ultimate Power / int_6f83b232 | type |
Wish-Fulfillment | |
Real Ultimate Power / int_6f83b232 | comment |
Wish-Fulfillment: Robert's "knowledge" about ninjas mostly amounts to this. | |
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Real Ultimate Power / int_7315fd38 | type |
Covers Always Lie | |
Real Ultimate Power / int_7315fd38 | comment |
Covers Always Lie: As per the page quote above, which is not what the book is really about. | |
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Real Ultimate Power / int_79a0e313 | type |
Bolivian Army Ending | |
Real Ultimate Power / int_79a0e313 | comment |
Bolivian Army Ending: The book ends with Robert running away with his dog, winding up someplace neither of them know where. | |
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Real Ultimate Power / int_8411ab92 | type |
Red Oni, Blue Oni | |
Real Ultimate Power / int_8411ab92 | comment |
Red Oni, Blue Oni: Ninjas and hippos. Ninjas solve their problems with super-violence, wail on guitars, and pork hot babes. Hippos take things as they come, and while they do party, are substantially more chill. | |
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Real Ultimate Power / int_92d7976 | type |
You Keep Using That Word | |
Real Ultimate Power / int_92d7976 | comment |
You Keep Using That Word: The glossary in the back clears up that Robert doesn't know what, among other things, Frenching actually entails. | |
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Real Ultimate Power / int_96fbeaf | type |
There Are No Therapists | |
Real Ultimate Power / int_96fbeaf | comment |
There Are No Therapists: Robert was on Ritalin at one point. Ultimately, nobody seems capable of giving him a sympathetic ear or worthwhile advice, or else Robert becomes alienated from him. And thus he runs away to an unknown fate. | |
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Real Ultimate Power / int_b11ac9f5 | type |
Abusive Parents | |
Real Ultimate Power / int_b11ac9f5 | comment |
Abusive Parents: Robert's parents openly denigrate him and winnow away his self-worth. Often through the medium of uppercutting him, or trying to change their names so as to not be associated with him. | |
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Real Ultimate Power / int_b83a9363 | type |
This Is Your Premise on Drugs | |
Real Ultimate Power / int_b83a9363 | comment |
This Is Your Premise on Drugs: invoked Literal example: "Exhibit A: History Paper on Ritalin" vs. "Exhibit B: History Paper off Ritalin". Funnily enough, both are wrong. | |
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Real Ultimate Power / int_bc502e4b | type |
You Are What You Hate | |
Real Ultimate Power / int_bc502e4b | comment |
You Are What You Hate: Robert is utterly exasperated by kids who are overly-obsessed with singular fictional topics (like robots) to the point where they have difficulty behaving normally. | |
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Real Ultimate Power / int_c45c9fcd | type |
Ass Shove | |
Real Ultimate Power / int_c45c9fcd | comment |
Ass Shove: According to the book, the only reliable way to determine if someone is a ninja is to do this to them with a frozen carrot of all things, then observe their reaction. | |
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Real Ultimate Power / int_c78d3e08 | type |
Seppuku | |
Real Ultimate Power / int_c78d3e08 | comment |
Seppuku: Described. It involves swallowing a folded-up Frisbee. | |
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Real Ultimate Power / int_d05cf3f | type |
Footnote Fever | |
Real Ultimate Power / int_d05cf3f | comment |
Footnote Fever: The footnotes are mainly conversations between Robert and his parents, his babysitter, or his dog. | |
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Real Ultimate Power / int_d0b60f23 | type |
GoshDangItToHeck | |
Real Ultimate Power / int_d0b60f23 | comment |
Gosh Dang It to Heck!: Robert talks like this, unless he's quoting someone who's cursing. | |
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Real Ultimate Power / int_d3beb0de | type |
Precocious Crush | |
Real Ultimate Power / int_d3beb0de | comment |
Precocious Crush: Robert has one on a mother of three, whom he expresses in the medium of movie scripts. When she spurns his attention, he expresses his falling-out in the form of a movie script. | |
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Real Ultimate Power / int_e8cfde67 | type |
Ambiguous Disorder | |
Real Ultimate Power / int_e8cfde67 | comment |
Ambiguous Disorder: Other than ADHD, Robert has a variety of anger and identity issues that nobody in his life has any interest in helping him work through. | |
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Real Ultimate Power / int_edfacbac | type |
Covert Pervert | |
Real Ultimate Power / int_edfacbac | comment |
Covert Pervert: Robert's babysitter John, who got in trouble attempting to foist his adult baby fetish on others, and only babysits Robert because his family is apocalyptically cheap. | |
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Real Ultimate Power / int_f03ceb9b | type |
Weaksauce Weakness | |
Real Ultimate Power / int_f03ceb9b | comment |
Weak Sauce Weakness: A ninja's greatest weakness is apparently "super-scary ghost stories". | |
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Real Ultimate Power / int_f0e85546 | type |
Unbuilt Trope | |
Real Ultimate Power / int_f0e85546 | comment |
Unbuilt Trope: While mostly remembered for its ninja jokes, the book may not be inaccurately described as a bathos-laden parody of social tragedy. | |
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Real Ultimate Power |
The following is a list of statements referring to the current page from other pages.
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Seppuku / int_93519bc9 | |
TheRottersClub | seeAlso |
Real Ultimate Power |
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