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Anti-Christmas Song
- 482 statements
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- 50 referencing feature instances
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What the Anti-Love Song is to Silly Love Songs, the Anti-Christmas Song is to Christmas Songs — a vehicle for parodying, satirizing or subverting the tropes and messages of conventional holiday tunes. This may involve mockery of the holiday's religious elements, criticism of its Merchandise-Driven commercialization, depiction of the social alienation or family dysfunction that is frequently cloaked (or exacerbated) by the seasonal ideal of love and goodwill, or imagery of horror and violence in contrast to the usually peaceful tone of the holiday season. This is the song form of Crappy Holidays, in short. Bad Santa or Twisted Christmas might be invoked. Sometimes there's overlap with Protest Song if the Anti-Christmas Song is serious and political enough. A number of Video Games have extra features which activate at Christmas (see Holiday Mode) and depending on the type of game and how it was designed, the music can become an Anti-Christmas Song if the game is not of the type one would normally associate with Christmas sentiment. As you might well imagine, real-life versions of The Grinch tend to love these. |
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Anti-Christmas Song / int_10a0b6fe | type |
Anti-Christmas Song | |
Anti-Christmas Song / int_10a0b6fe | comment |
"Christmas at Ground Zero" (1986) is a Christmas carol about nuclear apocalypse. According to Dr. Demento, Weird Al wrote it when his record label pushed him to do a Christmas song. He no longer sings it out of respect for 9/11,note When Al released the song, "ground zero" meant the epicenter of a nuclear explosion, but the term was widely co-opted to mean the ruins of the World Trade Center after 9/11. despite it remaining a fan favorite. | |
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Have Yourself a Scary Little Christmas (1994) is a whole album of these, credited to the Cryptkeeper of Tales from the Crypt fame. | |
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Anti-Christmas Song / int_1309b0fd | type |
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The song was originally written for the climax of the film Meet Me in St. Louis, where Judy Garland's character tries to comfort her little sister over the fact that this will be the family's last Christmas at home before moving to New York. Lyrics included lines like "Have yourself a merry little Christmas, it may be your last,/Next year we may all be living in the past" or "Faithful friends who were dear to us, will be near to us no more." Judy Garland absolutely refused to perform the song until the lyrics were changed to something that wouldn't make her seem like a total monster. The film was released in 1944, during World War II, when everyone in the audience knew men serving overseas, and knew that it was likely that this merry little Christmas would be the last for some of them. Even the toned-down version thus had an emotional resonance that we today cannot fully appreciate. | |
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"Christmas Card from a Hooker in Minneapolis" (1978) from Blue Valentine by Tom Waits. | |
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Anti-Christmas Song / int_16dc4662 | type |
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King Diamond's "No Presents for Christmas" (1985). Christmas needs to be saved, and no-one cares. | |
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Anti-Christmas Song / int_1afaadc2 | type |
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"Christmas Bells" from RENT zig-zags this one. It starts off played straight as a bunch of homeless New Yorkers sing about living on the streets in the winter ("No stockings, no candy canes... no Santa Clause is com-in', cause Santy Clause ain't comin'...") and junkies sing about getting a fix, but eventually moves towards a more optimistic Christmas song, as two of the principal couples (Mimi and Roger, and Angel and Collins) start to fall for each other, complete with Snow Means Love. | |
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"Santa's Beard" from Lincoln is basically "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"... from Daddy's (unamused) perspective. | |
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"The Night Santa Went Crazy" (1994), is a bit less Anti-Christmas and more of a goofy, if dark, parody of Santa himself. Santa Claus loses his mind and goes on a murderous rampage through the North Pole, killing most of the elves and reindeer. The album version has Santa arrested and locked up for seven centuries. The "Extra Gory" version, released as a single much later, has Santa killed by a member of the SWAT team, and with Christmas gone for good. | |
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Bunk'd: In "Summer Winter Wonderland", Destiny gives a rather humorous one when asked to do a number with Ava in the Christmas in July talent show. | |
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It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia has Frank hallucinating himself in a parody of the Rankin Bass Christmas specials where an elf sings an upbeat tune about how he should change his ways... or else the other four will eventually snap and horrifically beat and maim him to death. | |
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The Pogues' "Fairytale of New York" (1987) sort of combines this with The Masochism Tango: He's a bum and an alcoholic, she's a heroin addict, and he ends the song declaring he can't survive without her. "I pray God it's our last", indeed. In Real Life, lot of people are miserable around Christmastime; the song throws a bone their way, so it probably comforts some people to know they aren't alone in their misery. Subverted in that, beneath all the fighting and misery, they still love each other and hope for a better life together. It's not a happy Christmas song—but it's all the more sincere because of it. |
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In The Simpsons' Season 14 episode "Dude, Where's My Ranch?", Homer attempts to write a Christmas song and instead comes up with an anthem on hating Ned Flanders, his very Christian neighbor. His original draft is also a satire on Christmas songs. |
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Horrible Histories' Christmas special included a version of "Silent Night" describing Christmas in medieval times, with drunken peasants getting into fights, as well as one of "Good King Wenceslas" which debunks the carol's claims about said "king" (actually a duke). | |
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Carly Rae Jepsen's "It's Not Christmas Till Somebody Cries" is a subversion. The singer describes being home with her Dysfunctional Family for Christmas, enduring political arguments at the dinner table, her parents giving her vegan boyfriend fish, and her younger relatives pestering her with questions about Santa Claus she can't answer, among other things... but admits that she's just too happy to be home to really mind. | |
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While most of the Punk Goes Christmas (2013) compilation album could count as this by itself, the 11th track "This Christmas (I'll Burn It To The Ground)" by Pop Punk band Set It Off is a perfect example of this trope from start to finish. The title is not just there for kicks, that is what the song is actually about. | |
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Mumfie's White Christmas has one sung by a group of electric eels entitled "Let Off Steam", as they help Whale and his passengers cut through the ice. The eels who were singing it were just being sarcastic, as their powers to heat up and produce electricity are activated by negative feelings. | |
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From the same Christmas album, "Green Christmas"...which, appropriately enough, was originally written by them for the Jim Carrey version of How the Grinch Stole Christmas!. | |
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Laura Nyro's "Christmas in My Soul" (1970) is a Protest Song in which the singer juxtaposes holiday imagery with lamentations about war, political injustice, racism, etc., while urging the "young children" to "come to the book of love" and "look for a better day". | |
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Community: In "Regional Holiday Music", Abed convinces his Jehova's Witness pal Troy, through old-school rap, that he can join the glee club as a means of subverting and taking down the holiday from within. | |
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That song even exists in the DC Animated Universe: The Joker sings it in his very first appearance on Batman: The Animated Series, while breaking out of Arkham on Christmas Eve. In the UK it's generally sung as "Robin flew away" |
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"Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer" (1979) by Elmo and Patsy originally was intended as this, but nowadays it is increasingly accepted as a standard, if humorous, Christmas song. It even has spawned an animated Christmas special. It was then adapted into "Grandpa Got Run Over By A Beer Truck" by Da Yoopers. The sequel, "Grandpa is gonna sue the pants off the Santa", is the aftermath involving a court case. "Don't make me play that reindeer song again" is inspired by the story of a radio DJ who got fired by playing the song five times in a row. |
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Anti-Christmas Song | |
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"Seasonal Depression" (2005), the first Christmas song from Wizard Rock band The Whomping Willows, is a really sad tune about how the aforementioned tree is all alone on Christmas. | |
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An exceptionally gruesome one from Scrubs, about the experience of being on-call in the emergency room on Christmas eve: | |
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Animaniacs did a riotous send-up of "Noel", each verse leading to a different pun in the chorus, and the last one lampshading the entire thing and apologizing to the viewer for ruining the song. They also lampooned at least two other Christmas carols, including the incident where Wakko belched "Jingle Bells". |
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Anti-Christmas Song | |
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"My Girlfriend (Forgot Me This Christmas)" (2005) by The Click Five is about expensive gifts lovers exchange without any sentimentality. | |
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In Homicide: A Year on the Killing Streets (IRL inspiration for the 1990s show), the Baltimore PD Homicide Unit have their own version of "Deck the Halls", which, as befitting people who's job it is to investigate a city with 234 murders a year, is extremely dark. The author says that at least this Xmas they didn't decorate the office tree with cardboard angels, their faces supplied by the morgue photos of the year's murder victims. | |
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Oscar the Grouch of Sesame Street had a song called "I Hate Christmas", which he sang in the special Christmas Eve on Sesame Street (1978). | |
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Songs for a New World by Jason Robert Brown has "Surabaya Santa", in which Mrs. Claus is tired of being alone on Christmas and generally being ignored the rest of the time — so she decides to walk out on Santa, but not before giving him a piece of her mind. It's majorly hilarious. | |
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Spitting Image had the wickedly satirical "Santa Claus Is on the Dole" (1986) and "The Christmas Singles" (1990). | |
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Irregular Webcomic! celebrates Christmas with Lovecraftian versions of carols. | |
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Spinal Tap's "Christmas with the Devil" (1984) is quite the charming ditty: | |
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One Pantomime's Aladdin had the Big Bad sing "Children Roasting on an Open Fire". | |
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The Nostalgia Critic's "Holiday Clusterfuck" is Crappy Holidays in song form, and captures perfectly the utter stress that often hits during the holiday season. (NSFW for language, as if you couldn't figure it out already) | |
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CrazyCod's "I Don't Want To Rot Inside My Room For Christmas (But...)" (2020) features the singer complaining about how he's lonely on Christmas even though others are happy, but it looks like things will just have to be this way. | |
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"Christmas Wrapping" (1981) by The Waitresses, though the humbug attitude turns around a little by the end. The singer does say "Bah, humbug" is too strong because Christmas is her favorite holiday. She's just wiped out from the year and wants a quiet Christmas by herself. A cover version by '90s ska-punk band Save Ferris changes the lyrics to reflect the perspective of a Jewish person in L.A. during the holidays. |
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peepeepo has two short albums of these: SHITMAS and CRAPMAS. Both contain their versions of many Christmas carols containing lyrics about getting drunk and taking dumps. | |
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Ren Hoek sings a song with the title "I Hate Christmas" on the Ren & Stimpy Christmas album (1993). | |
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On The Colbert Report's A Colbert Christmas (2008), Toby Keith sings a song about how the all-American holiday of Christmas is under attack by atheists and activist judges, and real Americans are fighting back, prepared to wreak violent retribution on anti-Christmas forces. The result is an over-the-top mixture of holiday cheer with Patriotic Fervor and plenty of Stuff Blowing Up. There's also Feist's song in the same special, based on "Angels We Have Heard on High," which she sings in the style of a busy customer service call center responding to Stephen's prayer. |
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Phineas and Ferb Christmas Vacation plays with the 'Scrooge' idea: Dr. Doofenshmirtz sings "I Really Don't Hate Christmas". He's not for or against Christmas, he's completely indifferent to it. Right before the song, he says that even though he's a villain and he knows he should hate Christmas, "Christmas was always fine in my family! I mean, it wasn't good, but it wasn't bad!" With his Hilariously Abusive Childhood, that's saying something. | |
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A Scare at Bedtime had Fester and Ailin sing "There's a Dead Man Up the Chimney", about them shooting Santa after mistaking him for a burglar. | |
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"Things Fall Apart" by Cristina is a dark New Wave song about the empty ceremony of Christmas in the face of the cruelty of reality. | |
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The Norwegian song "Juletragedien" ("The Christmas Tragedy") by Erik Follestad & Linni Meister is a cynical joke song whose tone is set when Linni asks Erik to come watch Dinner for Onenote a sketch associated with Christmas in Norway with her, and he angrily tells her he doesn't want to. It features people getting stressed out, attacked by a cat, eating too much, drinking too much, going to church even though no one actually believes in Jesus, and so on. In particular, Linni has an entire verse chewing out Erik for giving a crappy homemade Christmas card instead of a proper gift, blaming his fatness on Christmas even though he was fat back in August, and being a Drunk Driver who almost killed Linni's aunt. | |
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Mystery Science Theater 3000: The 1991 episode featuring Santa Claus Conquers the Martians has a host segment where Crow introduces his new holiday standard, "A Patrick Swayze Christmas". The 1993 Santa Claus episode features "Whispering Christmas Warrior" and "Merry Christmas, If That's Okay". |
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Sparks's "Thank God It's Not Christmas" from Kimono My House (1974) is both this and an Anti-Love Song: It's about a man who dreads Christmas because everything in town closes for the holidays, leaving him with no choice but to spend all day with his wife. | |
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The Who's "Christmas", from Tommy (1969), is narrated by Tommy's father, who is seemingly unable to enjoy the holiday due to worrying about the implications that his son's infirmities might hold for his eternal salvation. | |
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Tripod regularly does Christmas shows with a range of semi-anti-Christmas comedy songs, including "I Hate Your Family", "The Homophobic Christmas Tree", "I Was the Only Shepherd" (about the only shepherd that saw the angel and stayed with his flock rather than go see the baby Jesus), and "Fabian" (about a bastard reindeer). "Santa Won't Be Welcome Here" takes then-Prime Minister of Australia John Howard's policies on border security to their logical conclusion. Tripod's Christmas album titled For the Love of God (2008) consists mostly (but not entirely) of anti-Christmas songs. |
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"The St. Stephen's Day Murders" (1991), by the Chieftains with vocals and lyrical input from Elvis Costello. How do they handle the Christmas swarm of annoying relatives? Poison their food! | |
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Futurama has several. In their first Xmas special, Santa is a dangerous robot who kills everyone on his "naughty" list (and has such high standards that everyone winds up on his naughty list), so the episode ends with the cast gathering around the piano to sing "Santa Claus Is Gunning You Down". The second Xmas special has the elves singing happily about their dangerous slave jobs. And in Bender's Big Score Santa and the other Anthropomorphic Personifications of winter holidays sing about upgrading their ships to declare war on the scammer aliens. | |
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In Twisted Metal, "Stalk 'n Roll", the ambient music of the River Park Rumble stage, interpolates twisted(pun intended) versions of "Deck The Halls", "Jingle Bells", and "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town". Likewise, the music for the North Pole stage in the third game mixes "Jingle Bells" with White Zombie's "More Human Than Human". | |
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On Saturday Night Live, Paul Simon and Steve Martin did something similar to Simon & Garfunkel's classic "Seven O'Clock News/Silent Night", with Simon singing "Silver Bells" as Martin gives a depraved monologue about the increasingly dysfunctional and appalling meaning Christmas has for him. A 1990 SNL skit had a mock commercial for a Dysfunctional Family Christmas album, replete with such ditties as "Let's Pretend We Like Each Other This Christmas", "Ballad of the Co-Dependent", and "Can't You Let It Drop? It's Christmas!" An animated "TV Funhouse" skit from 2005 features Darlene Love singing a catchy little ditty called "Christmastime for the Jews". A 2019 skit featured a take on "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus", where we find out that daddy did see. And he approved. |
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Left 4 Dead 2 gives us "All I Want for Christmas (Is to kick your ass)". In-universe, the song came about after the Midnight Riders grudgingly agreed to do a charity single in lieu of 30,000 hours of Community Service. | |
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AC/DC's "Mistress for Christmas" (1990). ("I want the woman in red at the bottom of my bed!") | |
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"Christmas" (2010) by Jesu is one of the most musically heavy Christmas songs ever: a post-metal dirge about the futility of Christmas cheer in a Crapsack World. While the lyrics are bleak enough, they take a backseat to the eight minutes of oppressive, glacier-like guitars. The EP's Shoegazing/Dream Pop remixes are more "listenable", but no less depressing. | |
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"XM@$" (2010) by Corey Taylor has to be heard to be believed. a few lyrics are "If I ain't drunk it ain't Christmas", "Eggnog makes me vomit", and "leave the goddamn scrooge the f**k alone". "MERRY F**KING CHRISTMAS" |
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The level "Land of the Damned" from Serious Sam: The Second Encounter has Jingle Bells as its song (regardless of when you play the game), and when the action heats up, it turns into a rock version with an assortment of sound effects from the game mixed in (various guns firing and monsters dying). If you rip the music out of the game, you can hear that the sound effects are actually part of the music and are not added by the game. | |
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When Todd in the Shadows reviewed the song "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer", he kept asking - almost to an Anvilicious extent - if everyone over the years knew that the song was about Grandma getting killed at the start of the song, and the rest of the lyrics celebrating her death. He regrets doing a review of the song just because of how celebrated the song has become despite nobody actually caring about the subject matter. | |
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Eazy-E's "Merry Muthafuckin' Xmas" (1992) contains a story (Christmas In Compton) about a Christmas-day drive-by shooting (with Eazy E, dressed up as Santa Claus, screaming "MERRY CHRISTMAS, MOTHERFUCKERS!")...and it devolves into a menagerie of profanity, drug use, violence, and explicit sexual acts, some to the tune of Christmas classics such as "Jingle Bells", "Deck the Halls", "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus", and "We Wish You a Merry Christmas". Here's the song, and here are the lyrics. | |
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French examples by Le Donjon de Naheulbeuk's creator, John Lang. "Noël en Mordor (Christmas in Mordor)" (2009) is set in The Lord of the Rings universe, and ends with: "Santa Claus captured by trolls, and dark era begins." "Le retour de Gzor (Gzor's return)" (2010) is about a bad god named Gzor, a Cthulhu expy. "Gzor will come back, Gzor will be your master..." to the "Oh Holy Night" tune. | |
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"Santa Baby" (1953), first popularized by Eartha Kitt and later Covered Up by Madonna, has its sultry Gold Digger narrator asking Santa for a long list of expensive goodies. | |
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If you play the game at Christmas, Rise of the Triad plays a song in MIDI format called "Deadly Gentlemen" (which is based on a well-known Christmas carol) instead of the normal level music. Considering the game is a First-Person Shooter, this could well be classified as an Anti Christmas Song. Blasting the bad guys into Ludicrous Gibs with Christmas music playing... I'd say that's anti-Christmas. | |
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South Park's 1997 Christmas special features "Christmastime in Hell" and "A Lonely Jew (On Christmas)"; in 1999, "Merry Fucking Christmas" (a rant that says that anyone who doesn't celebrate it is an infidel...); one song that was only in the album was entitled "The Most Offensive Song Ever", and it's basically just Kenny and Mr. Hankey singing about the Virgin Mary giving blowjobs and how it apparently doesn't undermine her virginity. Yes, really. | |
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German Band Saltatio Mortis has the song "Willkommen in der Weihnachtszeit"note Welcome to Christmastime (2015), which is about supermarkets having Christmas-themed articles as of August every year. | |
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Robbie Williams' "Walk This Sleigh" (1997) contains some wonderfully dark, cynical lyrics. For bonus points, it was released as the B-side to "Angels", a heartfelt ballad that served as Williams' Breakthrough Hit. If you've ever heard "Angels", imagine the Mood Whiplash of going from that to this: | |
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Peter Schilling did a really depressing version of "Stille Nacht, Heilige Nacht" in 1983. | |
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"I Got a Cold for Christmas" (1954), originally by the Ames Brothers and later recorded by The Three Stooges during their television age popularity: | |
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100 gecs's "sympathy for the grinch" is a mostly tongue-in-cheek version of this (one can't feel that resentful to rowdy Ska Punk) about the duo finally having enough of being "nice" and still not getting the Christmas presents they want, hatching and executing a plot to steal Santa's magic bag for themselves. | |
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The Family Guy episode "Road to the North Pole" has "Christmas Time Is Killing Us". Be warned, it contains a lot of nightmarish imagery. | |
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Ben Folds's song "Lonely Christmas Eve" (2000) describes Christmas from the point of view of the Grinch. And his "Bizarre Christmas Incident" is about a naked Santa getting stuck in the chimney and suffocating (and the most prominent line in the chorus is "Santa is a big fat fuck", which is probably why it has a Non-Appearing Title). | |
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Cledus T. Judd recorded several on his album Cledus Navidad (2002), including such gems as "Stephon the Alternative Lifestyle Reindeer", "Only 364 More Shopping Days 'til Christmas", "Tree's on Fire" (parody of "Ring of Fire" by Johnny Cash), and "Merry Christmas from the Whole Fam Damily". | |
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Crazy Ex-Girlfriend has "California Christmastime": | |
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Kingdom of Loathing has disintegrating sheet music of Crimbo Carols dropped by the Ancient Yuletide Troll familiar, which are lyrics sheets meant to be sung to the tune of Christmas Songs, like "Frosty the Hitman" and "Violent Night". Since December is a month-long event that tends to involve beating up monsters, they are decidedly tongue-in-cheek. | |
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Øystein Sunde's "Julekalenderen" ("The Christmas Calendar") is a comedy song where stuff keeps going wrong, such as when Grandpa has a bad case of Christmas Light Chaos. Their Christmas Eve is particularly messy. | |
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Subverted by "Luk drømmene ind" from Christmas on Vesterbro. The beginning of the song, which is all you'd hear during the credits, sounds exactly like this, taking every old Danish Christmas tradition and singing about how they suck. The chorus says exactly what's awesome about christmas, ending in the line "shut the fuck up, open your heart and let in the dreams" | |
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One of the animated segments from TV Funhouse was a parody of the old black-and-white stop-motion Christmas song videos, called "Tingles the Christmas Tension", about a magical sprite who embodies/cultivates all the stress of the holidays. The last verse mentions his annual successor, Mopefuls Day after Christmas Depression, and the video ends with a person jumping out a second-story window. | |
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"What's This?" from The Nightmare Before Christmas is a subversion; the singer, Jack Skellington, falls in love with Christmas when he first discovers the holiday, but misses the point, largely because he sees Christmas through his own unique prism: Other songs from the film, most notably "Making Christmas" and "Kidnap the Sandy Claws" play the trope straight. |
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Gordon Lightfoot: "Song for Winter's Night" (1967) isn't a Christmas song per se, but artists like Blue Rodeo and Sarah McLachlan have still covered it on Christmas albums, even though the song is about pining for a distant loved one on a dark and cold winter night, and has no festive aspects whatsoever (save for the Snowy Sleigh Bells that punctuate Lightfoot's original recording). "Circle of Steel" (1974) depicts a poor welfare mother whose husband or boyfriend is in prison, and who spends her Christmas sitting alone in a rat-infested tenement, drinking gin and waiting for the authorities to take custody of her newborn child. |
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Long before he performed Christmas songs with The Muppets, John Denver had a tender country ballad called "Please, Daddy, Don't Get Drunk This Christmas" (1973), later covered by Alan Jackson. | |
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