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Horrible Honeymoon
- 142 statements
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Honeymoons are usually a happy time for the newly married couple. They are intended to be a vacation from the stresses of life for the married couple after all. However, they rarely go smoothly in fiction. Whether it be that the fact that they can't afford to go anywhere decent, leading to them having to spend it in poorly-maintained hotels or otherwise, splitting up by the end (usually due to them either deciding that they're not compatible after all or a case of one cheating on the other, mistaken or otherwise), or one of them dying or getting murdered, leaving the other practically Widowed at the Wedding, a lot of stuff can go wrong for the new couple. This can be Played for Laughs or Played for Drama depending on the work. It should be noted however that the honeymoon phase may end up strengthening the bonds of the couple if they do manage to successfully survive it, usually by forcing them to reveal their darkest secrets or having to work through their problems as part of the circumstances of the honeymoon, leading to a more pleasant marriage. On rare occasions, the honeymoon may be salvaged at the very end, usually through them finding enough money in time to relax at more extravagant places or realizing that they were meant to be together after all and deciding to celebrate somewhere nice. Generally a prime candidate for an Epic Fail. See also Crappy Holidays, Worst Wedding Ever (for when this occurs before the honeymoon), Birthday Party Goes Wrong, A Birthday, Not a Break, and The "Fun" in "Funeral". Often occurs after a Perilous Marriage Proposal. This is a trope prone to shoehorning and is too controversial so No Real Life Examples, Please!. |
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Honeymoon focuses on a newlywed couple called Bea and Paul having a honeymoon at Bea's family cabin. Unfortunately, it starts going wrong when Bea starts sleepwalking and deteriorates from there, culminating in her killing Paul and being taken over by an alien. | |
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Scorpion: "The Bunker Games" sees Happy and Toby return from their long-awaited honeymoon with a tale of woe: the car broke down and Toby couldn't fix it, the weather was awful despite Toby's careful checking of the forecast, and the hotel room they were consequently stuck in was terrible. The stress of all these troubles led to Toby experiencing... another problem. To add insult to injury, Toby is benched from the team's mission because the client is his old rival who married Toby's ex-fiancée. | |
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Gilmore Girls: Lane and Zach honeymoon in Mexico at a place called "Pedro's Paradise", which turns out to be anything but. As told by Zach and Lane after the fact in "That's What You Get, Folks, For Makin' Whoopee", the place turned out to be a scam in some dude's apartment, far from the "ocean views" that were promised, Zach became paranoid about Pedro and his friends speaking Spanish around them, and the couple comes back feeling nauseous though, it turns out, for different reasons. Even worse, in a subversion of the usual Their First Time trope, their attempt to replicate the beach scene in From Here to Eternity ends with them dirty and cold with crabs crawling all over them, causing Lane to believe that good sex is a myth. The honeymoon has long-term ramifications, as Lane, after only a brief brush with freedom from her Beloved Smother and a terrible first sexual experience, ends up pregnant with twins due to a poor-quality Mexican condom. | |
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The Simpsons: In “A Milhouse Divided", it's revealed that after Homer and Marge had their Shotgun Wedding, they spent their honeymoon at a trucker gas station, where Homer tried to console a disappointed Marge with a cake labeled "To a Whale of a Wife". Homer's revelation of how crummy a honeymoon it was became one of the factors that drove him to eventually do a second wedding with Marge to try to make up for it. The episode "Black Widower." After marrying Selma, Sideshow Bob attempts to murder her via a gas explosion in order to inherit her money. After learning she has no sense of smell he leaves the gas on in their fireplace while he goes for a walk, knowing that she'll light a cigarette after her episode of MacGyver. |
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The Sandman (2022) features a tragic example in "The Sound of Her Wings". Death comes to escort the soul of a man named Sam who accidentally drowned while swimming in a river; he explains that he's on his honeymoon and begs Death to at least allow him time to give his wife his phone pin, as all their flight information is on there. Death can only apologize, as there's nothing she can do for Sam but guide him to the afterlife (nor would his wife be able to see or hear him). Death and Dream depart with Sam just as the now-widowed woman sees her husband's body being pulled from the water. | |
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Tess of the D'Urbervilles: Tess and Angel's honeymoon is so awful it doesn't even last past the first night. Tess had been worrying over not telling Angel about her having been raped and given birth to a child who died in infancy prior to their engagement. On their wedding night, Angel confesses he once had a consensual pre-marital relationship, not wanting to begin their marriage with secrets. Tess forgives him and then feels comfortable confessing her own past. Unfortunately, Angel is repulsed by this, viewing Tess as Defiled Forever and resenting her for 'deceiving' him. They don't consummate the marriage, the honeymoon is cut short and they go their separate ways the next day; a heartbroken Tess moves back in with her family while Angel strops off to Brazil. They get a bit of a do-over eventually after Angel has a Jerkass Realization and reconciles with Tess, though it's far from ideal given they're on the run after Tess killed her rapist and have to break into an empty house for shelter. Tess hands herself in to the authorities eventually, although for five days she was happy for the first time in years. | |
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The Love Boat: One young couple on their honeymoon suffers mishap after mishap, including the bride falling asleep while sunbathing and getting a severe sunburn and the groom throwing his back out just from bending over to pick up something and ending up in a wheelchair for almost the rest of the cruise. | |
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Brooklyn Nine-Nine: In "Honeymoon", Jake and Amy's honeymoon is ruined by Captain Holt showing up and wallowing in his depression over not getting the commissioner job, although he eventually apologizes for his actions and offers to compensate them for said honeymoon. | |
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In a third-season episode of The Dick Van Dyke Show titled "Honeymoons Are For The Lucky", Rob recalls the difficult time he had getting enough leave from his military service to spend time alone with his new wife, Laura. His leaves were constantly refused or canceled until the couple had to agree that only people much luckier than they were, would have honeymoons. | |
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Along Came Polly starts with Reuben catching his new wife Lisa cheating on him with a scuba instructor while they're on their honeymoon, which puts an end to the marriage pretty fast. Luckily it works out in the end, as Reuben ends up reconnecting with Polly and gets into a much happier relationship with her. While vacationing with Polly on the same island he had his disastrous honeymoon, Reuben even thanks the scuba instructor for showing him what Lisa was really like. | |
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Lord Peter Wimsey: In Busman's Honeymoon, the honeymoon of Peter Wimsey and Harriet Vane is troubled by a slew of (mostly) minor annoyances rather than by great disasters. The worst of these is finding the dead body of their honeymoon cottage's former owner on the cellar steps — after they've cleaned up the cottage and thus destroyed nearly all of the clues. Harriet also recalls one of her friends talking about her honeymoon in a peaceful fishing village, where frequent rain would leave the happy couple cooped up indoors with nothing much to do. | |
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Outlander: Combat nurse Claire and Intelligence Officer Frank Randall quickly marry prior to shipping out for World War II. Over five years, they spend a sum total of ten days together. After the war, the pair goes to Scotland for a second honeymoon to get reacquainted only for Claire to touch the rock at Craigh na Dunnh and land 200 years in the past, leaving Frank desperately searching for his missing wife. Three years later, she returns, pregnant and mourning the death of the man she married while she was away. Although she and Frank remain married for the sake of Claire's child, their relationship never truly recovers. | |
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The New Retcons: Elizabeth and Anthony Caine’s honeymoon in Niagara Falls gets off to a bad start when Anthony has a fit about Elizabeth not being a virgin (despite him obviously not being one since he has a daughter from his first marriage). Elizabeth runs out of their room crying and goes to the lobby to calm down. She runs into her ex boyfriend, Warren Blackwood there. They end up having a one night stand that produces James Allen Caine. While the rest of the honeymoon goes smoothly, it kicks off several months of marital discord between each other. | |
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The Brittas Empire: According to "Snap Happy", during Brittas and Helen's honeymoon, Brittas, wanting to check out the highest diving board in the country, slipped off it and injured a troupe of synchronized swimmers, giving Helen a fear of heights. An earlier episode also implied that something happened on the second day which made Brittas realize that the woman he had married was...not the most mentally stable of women. | |
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Crayon Shin-chan: The honeymoon of Midori Ishizaka (Shin-Chan's class teacher who constantly gets dragged into Shin-Chan's antics) and Junichi Ishizaka, where their wedding honeymoon has them going to Australia and somehow against all odds ending up in the same hotel as Shin Chan and family, with a sleepwalking Shin-Chan accidentally entering Midori's hotel suite and kissing Junichi in the dead of the night after a half-asleep Junichi mistook Shin-Chan to be Midori. Needless to say, Shin-Chan's typical shenanigans get into the couple's way during their tour around the Gold Coast, Great Barrier Reef, Opera House and finally causing Midori to suffer a brief breakdown near the Uluru Ayers Rock. | |
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Hercule Poirot: In Death on the Nile, Newlyweds Simon and Linnet Doyle have their honeymoon disrupted due to being followed everywhere by Jacqueline; she was Simon's ex-fiancee and Linnet's former friend until Linnet and Simon got together, which she isn't taking well. While touring the Abu Simbel, Linnet is nearly crushed by a boulder, although Jacqueline appears to have an alibi. Jacqueline later shoots Simon in the leg during an argument and becomes so hysterical she has to be sedated. Then Linnet is found murdered in her room and almost everyone onboard the boat is a suspect. It's revealed Jacqueline and Simon are still a couple and plotted the whole thing to get Linnet's money, although another passenger was responsible for the boulder incident (which he claims was accidental). | |
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The Cormoran Strike series has an unusual use of this in Lethal White, where the horribleness of Robin and Matthew's honeymoon in the Maldives proves to be the only thing that saves a marriage that was about to end before it even started. Robin is ready to leave Matthew immediately after their wedding upon finding out he's been secretly deleting Cormoran's texts from her phone, and only agrees to go on the paid-for honeymoon so they can talk things out. During the trip, Matthew becomes dangerously ill from an infection after scratching himself on a piece of coral, and caring for him during that time softens her up enough to give him a second chance. Of course, this series of events is still disastrous as it only postpones their inevitable breakup, which now takes the form of a messy divorce instead of the easy annulment that would have resulted if Robin had headed out before the marriage had been consummated. | |
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In A Perfect Getaway, newly-married Cliff and Cydney head to Hawaii for their honeymoon, only to learn there's a Serial Killer on the loose and they might be the next targets. It's played with as it turns out they're the killers and going on a murder spree sounds like a great honeymoon to Cliff — whose real name is Rocky — though Cydney is increasingly ambivalent. It's played straight in the backstory, as Rocky murdered the real Cliff and Cydney while they were on their honeymoon so he and his girlfriend could assume their identities. | |
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In The Thorn Birds, Luke and Meggie have one of these, with him being utterly insensitive to the fact that she's a virgin and clueless about sex—he's completely inconsiderate about how painful it is for her. He also takes away the money her mother gave her an deposits it in the bank. Then, she's far too overdressed for the incredibly hot weather and the much more laid back community, and he caps it off by telling her at the last minute that he's gotten her a job as a housemaid and will be leaving her at her new job while he goes to work cutting cane. | |
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The Duolingo story "The Flat Tire" recounts Vikram and Priti's honeymoon. On their way back to their room from a date, their car broke down for whatever reason, and so they had to walk back. Vikram unfortunately forgot his keys, so he had to use the window to get back inside the house. The couple had to relive this quirky night once again, years later — this time, both of them are locked outside of the house. | |
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Doctor Who: Poor Amy and Rory end up having to deal with the ship they were on for their honeymoon crashlanding onto a planet in "A Christmas Carol", with their fates ultimately hanging on The Doctor changing the timeline of the local scrooge so that he becomes a better person. | |
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The Twilight Saga: In Breaking Dawn, Bella and Edward's honeymoon on a privately-owned island in South America initially goes well for the most part, although early on there is a debacle over sex (the first time they have sex, Edward bruises Bella quite badly and he refuses to have sex with her again in case he hurts her more; Bella insists she's fine and goes to great lengths to persuade Edward to sleep with her again), as well as minor issues with Edward damaging beds during sex and the housekeeper being extremely wary of Edward (she knows he's a vampire and thinks he's brought Bella here to kill her). However, things really go downhill when Bella gets extremely sick from what she thinks is food poisoning only for her to realize she's actually pregnant. Edward is horrified, believing (correctly) that the half-vampire fetus will harm Bella and cuts the honeymoon short so they can get back to the US and "get rid of it". Bella has already decided she wants to keep the pregnancy in spite of the risks, causing a rift between the couple. | |
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In Touch of Evil, special prosecutor Miguel Vargas and his new wife Susie are honeymooning on the US-Mexico border when they get caught up in a murder case involving gangsters and corrupt cops. Vargas sends Susie to a motel to keep her safe, but it turns out the motel is run by the gang involved in the murders, who proceed to terrorise her. Susie ends up being drugged, wakes up next to a murdered corpse, and is wrongfully arrested for the crime; Vargas has to find a way to exonerate his wife while avoiding being killed or framed himself. | |
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Just Married focuses on the disastrous honeymoon of a couple called Tom and Sarah, whether it be shutting down the electricity of the village that they're staying at, or staying at a wreck of a house recommended by Tom's father. It ultimately ends in both a fight which lands the couple in jail and them believing that both have cheated on the other. | |
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In My Sweet Audrina, Audrina elopes with her sweetheart, Arden. Although they're in love, Audrina has a lot of trauma around sex, both because she's extremely sheltered and because she grew up hearing how her older sister was raped and murdered and it's later revealed it was Audrina herself who was raped and her family manipulated her into believing it happened to a non-existent sister. As a result, the honeymoon is a complete disaster, especially as Arden isn't very understanding or sensitive about this issue, which negatively impacts their marriage. | |
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On Chesil Beach revolves around a young couple whose relationship is tested to its limit by their terrible honeymoon at Chesil Beach. Edward and Florence are both virgins when they marry in 1962; due to the time period, neither of them knows much about how sex works, especially Florence, as it wouldn't be considered 'proper'. It's also subtly hinted Florence may have been sexually abused by her domineering father. After an awkward dinner, they attempt to consummate their marriage, but it doesn't go well, with Florence even running out of the room. Florence is so distraught she suggests a Sexless Marriage but Edward isn't willing to accept this. They can't resolve the matter and so end up getting an annulment just days after the wedding. | |
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The Butcher Boy: Francis's parents went to a boarding house on their honeymoon before he was born. Mr. Brady was also an alcoholic who abused his wife and made her a suicidal woman. | |
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