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Not in Front of the Parrot!
- 199 statements
- 19 feature instances
- 7 referencing feature instances
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One of the surest and swiftest ways to reveal something that you really didn't want to is to say it in front of a parrot or other talking bird. Especially a parrot that you've been trying and failing to teach some clever phrase. Birds have an innate sense of timing and can, when properly motivated, memorize a long and complicated phrase after only hearing it once. Yep, they're as sick as a parrot. And don't let the fact that you've never spoken aloud about the issue in question reassure you. Any innocuous phrase that you might have said since the start of the episode can and will be used against you by the bird's selective memory quoting it out of context. A clever lawyer may use that to Make the Parrot Testify. Naturally a subtrope of Talking Animal. Not to be confused with Parrot Exposition. See also Polly Wants a Microphone. Fowl-Mouthed Parrot is a sister trope for when what you said in front of the parrot shouldn't be said in polite company. |
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Not in Front of the Parrot! / int_1ba750d8 | type |
The Gulag | |
Not in Front of the Parrot! / int_1ba750d8 | comment |
Another similar joke had the KGB hear that a parrot is flying on the streets shouting things like "Down with the Party!" "Give us freedom of speech!" "When will the Soviet Union fall already?!". They chase it, and see it fly into a window. They enter the flat in question and start asking the owner. The latter states he does have a parrot, but one that would never say anything like that. As proof, he opens the freezer, takes out the parrot, and the bird starts shouting "Hail Lenin!" "Long live the Party!" "There is no better country than the Soviet Union!" The KGB people assume they must have made a mistake and leave. Once they're out, the man looks at the parrot and says "Well, pal, looks like you've got a taste of what Siberia is like." | |
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Not in Front of the Parrot! / int_33cd16fa | type |
Older Than Feudalism | |
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Older Than Feudalism: One story in Ovid's Metamorphoses tells of how Apollo fell in love with the mortal woman Coronis, until a raven tells him about her infidelity and he kills her. Doubles as a "Just So" Story, because he then turns the raven from white to black. (Chaucer retells this story as the Manciple's Tale in The Canterbury Tales.) | |
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Not in Front of the Parrot! / int_34dd5f3 | type |
La Résistance | |
Not in Front of the Parrot! / int_34dd5f3 | comment |
Or the one about the old woman who was a member of La Résistance against German occupation during WWII. Several resistance meetings were hold in her cottage. Naturally her parrot learnt some unsuitable phrases. After a while, the Germans started suspecting the old woman, and a squad was sent to investigate. They didn't find anything definite enough to arrest her, but while they were there, the parrot kept saying "Death to the Germans!" The squad leader promised to be back in a week, and if the parrot was still saying "Death to the Germans!", he would personally wring its neck. Now, the old woman was very fond of her parrot, and didn't want it killed. But how could she make it unlearn that phrase in just one week? At a loss for what to do, she consulted the priest of the nearest village, because he too had a similar parrot. The priest offered to switch parrots for a week. The old woman gratefully accepted. So, the week passed, and the squad of German soldiers returned to her cottage. The priest's parrot sat quietly in a corner. The squad leader, being in a bad mood and really wanting to hurt the woman somehow, went over to the parrot, bent down and whispered to it: "Death to the Germans!" The parrot solemnly replied: "May God hear your prayer, my son." There is a nearly identical joke in Croatia: During Communist Yugoslavia, UDBA (Yugoslav equivalent of KGB or Gestapo, n.a.) heard that a priest had a parrot which was speaking against the country and the people. So they visited the priest and asked about his parrot. Parrot immediately said: "Rain falls, country falls apart.", and UDBA agents told him that he has two weeks to retrain the parrot. Once said time passed, they were back, and asked if he had retrained the parrot. He answered "yes", and was asked to demonstrate. So he told to parrot: "Rain falls, country falls apart.", and the parrot answered: "Thank God." A woman bought a female parrot from a pet store but it had an issue. It would always say "I'm a slut, wanna screw?" She spoke to her priest about it and he said "You're in luck, I happen to have a very holy parrot, and he bows his head in prayer every day. Maybe he can help your parrot." So the priest brought his parrot over, and put it in the cage with the woman's parrot. The female parrot immediately said "I'm a slut, wanna screw?" and the priest's parrot bowed its head and said, "I thank thee, Lord, for answering my prayers..." |
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Not in Front of the Parrot! / int_35a858b3 | type |
Cluster F-Bomb | |
Not in Front of the Parrot! / int_35a858b3 | comment |
Because parrots have very long lifespans and often outlive their owners, it's frequently advised to parrot owners to avoid swearing around their parrots so that when the owner dies, the parrot will have an easier time finding a home. (Oddly enough, most prospective pet owners don't want their birds to swear at them.) Suffice it to say: no matter how hard you try, no matter how polite you are around your parrot, the one time you break your toe on the coffee table and slip up with a Cluster F-Bomb, the parrot will remember. Inevitably. | |
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Not in Front of the Parrot! / int_35a858b3 | |
Not in Front of the Parrot! / int_51d3ca9b | type |
Hates Being Nicknamed | |
Not in Front of the Parrot! / int_51d3ca9b | comment |
Actually enforced by Reggie Mantle in one issue, where Archie gets a talking parrot. He goes to a friend who can mimic the parrot's voice and gets him to say "Who's that fat guy in the tacky toupee? Isn't that the one you call The Bee?" into a tape recorder. Next, he plants a radio-controlled tape player in the cage and waits for Archie to show it to Mr. Weatherbee. It actually does work, and Archie gets detention, but unfortunately he left the tape recorder running and accidentally taped his own confession. | |
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Not in Front of the Parrot! / int_52aa0c4a | type |
The Caligula | |
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A parrot in Romania was overheard reciting jokes making fun of the eldest son of Nicolae Ceaucescu. The secret police put it under arrest and interrogated it to try and find out who it had learnt them from. | |
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Not in Front of the Parrot! / int_66cdb21b | type |
Gag Penis | |
Not in Front of the Parrot! / int_66cdb21b | comment |
A man was walking through a pet store when a parrot called for his attention. "Buy me, I'm a very interesting parrot!" The man stopped and asked "What's so interesting about you?" "I have no legs," said the parrot. "Well how do you stay on the perch?" the man asked. The parrot replied, "I have a very long penis and wrap it around the perch!". The man did think this was an interesting parrot and bought it. One day the man came home from work and the parrot said "Your friend Harry was over today!" The man said "Really?" "He was hugging your wife!" The man asked for more information. "They were kissing!" The man asked for more info. "They took their clothes off!" Infuriated, the man demanded what happened next. The parrot responded, "I dunno, I got a woody and fell off the perch!" | |
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Not in Front of the Parrot! / int_69cdb7fd | type |
Older Than Print | |
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Older Than Print: An Arabian Nights story features a husband who suspects his wife is unfaithful and, before he leaves on business, buys a parrot in hopes it will inform him of what's going on. | |
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Not in Front of the Parrot! / int_69cdb7fd | |
Not in Front of the Parrot! / int_72e0023f | type |
Invoked Trope | |
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Invoked with the help of Voluntary Shapeshifting at the beginning of Animorphs #15, when Cassie talks the others into helping her shut down a fast food restaurant that uses live parrots as a gimmick. | |
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Not in Front of the Parrot! / int_ad1db87c | type |
Oh, Crap! | |
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One birthday card had a family with a teenage daughter sitting down to dinner when the parrot exclaims, "Awrak! Quick, Jimmy! Put on your pants and leave! My parents will be home any minute!" The daughter just sits there with an Oh, Crap! look on her face. | |
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Not in Front of the Parrot! / int_be8cb2da | type |
Missing Episode | |
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A Missing Episode of Dad's Army had a couple of old ladies with a talking parrot that had belonged to their dead brother. The ladies were rather deaf, so didn't know the parrot was saying things like, "Shut up you old hags," and "Take off those knickers and get up them stairs." | |
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Not in Front of the Parrot! / int_c145f69b | type |
Subverted Trope | |
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Subverted in one episode of Desperate Housewives, where Orson Hodge's backstory is revealed. His wife mysteriously disappears, and when his neighbor pops by to ask about her, the wife's parrot says, "Orson, No! Please! No!" It is later revealed that his wife is in fact alive, and the parrot was reciting Orson's wife's pleas not to leave her and get a divorce. | |
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Not in Front of the Parrot! / int_c145f69b | |
Not in Front of the Parrot! / int_ccb39fea | type |
Adventurer Outfit | |
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The Far Side loved this trope. One comic has a pet shop parrot repeating its owner's last words ("Rack! The anaconda is loose! Call Animal Control!"); another has it repeating its thuggish owner's proscription to "Hey, boid, shaddup!" between snatches of song (given that the song is one note repeated, it may have been mimicking the guy's machine gun!); a third shows a parrot perched on a pith helmet partly submerged in a quicksand patch declaring, "Let go, Morty, you're pulling me in!" | |
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Not in Front of the Parrot! / int_ccb39fea | |
Not in Front of the Parrot! / int_d1da2c36 | type |
Played for Drama | |
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Played for Drama in The Echorium Sequence when the villain uses the bird-like Quetzal's perfect vocal mimicry to steal one of the Singers' Songs of Power. | |
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Not in Front of the Parrot! / int_e407c52e | type |
Double Subversion | |
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Double Subversion: In case 4 of Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney, Phoenix calls a witness' pet parrot to the stand, hoping that it'll blab an important piece of evidence, but finds the opposition has thought ahead and managed to re-train the parrot. It still gives enough information to let him go ahead with the trial. | |
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Not in Front of the Parrot! / int_e407c52e | |
Not in Front of the Parrot! / int_e624f0e8 | type |
Suspiciously Specific Denial | |
Not in Front of the Parrot! / int_e624f0e8 | comment |
There is an old Soviet joke about a man who comes to the KGB and says, "My parrot flew away, have you seen it"? The KGB officer replies, "We don't deal in such things, we aren't a lost and found parrots office". Then the man says, "OK, but if it ever comes here, just remember that I don't share its ideas". | |
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Not in Front of the Parrot! / int_e624f0e8 | |
Not in Front of the Parrot! / int_ece6f910 | type |
Moment Killer | |
Not in Front of the Parrot! / int_ece6f910 | comment |
An ad for Irn-Bru had a parrot acting as a Moment Killer to a couple trying to get affectionate. | |
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Not in Front of the Parrot! / int_ece6f910 | featureConfidence |
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Not in Front of the Parrot! | hasFeature |
Not in Front of the Parrot! / int_ece6f910 | |
Not in Front of the Parrot! / int_fdc6d885 | type |
Technical Virgin | |
Not in Front of the Parrot! / int_fdc6d885 | comment |
There is a joke about a woman telling her daughter's fiancé how pure her daughter is, and goes to show him how modest is the room she never leaves. As soon as the parrot there sees the guy, he breaks into a monologue indicating...the girl might be a Technical Virgin, but no more than that. | |
Not in Front of the Parrot! / int_fdc6d885 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
Not in Front of the Parrot! / int_fdc6d885 | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
Not in Front of the Parrot! | hasFeature |
Not in Front of the Parrot! / int_fdc6d885 | |
Not in Front of the Parrot! / int_name | type |
ItemName | |
Not in Front of the Parrot! / int_name | comment |
||
Not in Front of the Parrot! / int_name | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
Not in Front of the Parrot! / int_name | featureConfidence |
1.0 | |
Not in Front of the Parrot! | hasFeature |
Not in Front of the Parrot! / int_name | |
Not in Front of the Parrot! / int_name | itemName |
Not in Front of the Parrot! |
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